Speaker 1: Hey, this is Stephen Ferdick.
Speaker 2: I'm the pastor of Elevation Church and this is our podcast.
Speaker 1: I wanted to thank you for joining us today. Hope
Speaker 1: this inspires you. Hope it builds your faith.
Speaker 2: Hope it gives your perspective to see God is moving
Speaker 2: in your life.
Speaker 1: Enjoy the message.
Speaker 2: Until my identity in Christ starts affecting how I interpret
Speaker 2: my life, I really still don't get it yet. And
Speaker 2: if I see myself just as somebody that God loves,
Speaker 2: because well, Jesus died on the cross, and there's a
Speaker 2: group insurance plan and I got in on it because
Speaker 2: I accepted Jesus, and now God kind of has to
Speaker 2: include me with all of my pre existing conditions, then
Speaker 2: I have missed the point of what it means to
Speaker 2: say that I am a masterpiece made by God. I am.
Speaker 2: In the Greek it literally says a poema, like a poem,
Speaker 2: like God's poem.
Speaker 1: And the idea that Christ is in me means more
Speaker 1: than just he died from two thousand years ago. That
Speaker 1: is huge. I'm not downplaying that at all.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying that the fact of Christ being in
Speaker 2: you has to do more with your everyday life than
Speaker 2: you might think.
Speaker 1: Because as long as we look at God as.
Speaker 2: Being out there somewhere, you know, I'm throwing up a
Speaker 2: prayer to the big man upstairs or man I'm looking
Speaker 2: for God to kind of come down and fix this
Speaker 2: situation and don't shift it to the internal. Then we're
Speaker 2: basically living our life with no agency. Right, We're living
Speaker 2: our life if I understand my basic psychological terms correctly,
Speaker 2: we're living our lives at the mercy of our impulses,
Speaker 2: stimulus response, and no Christ in the middle to say,
Speaker 2: wait a minute, I'm a child of God. Wait a minute,
Speaker 2: I belong to God. I have faith, I have the
Speaker 2: grace of God. I get to appropriate God's power in
Speaker 2: this situation as I surrender to him.
Speaker 1: Right, so good, so good. Yeah.
Speaker 3: The way I think about it is often a lot
Speaker 3: of the trouble we have in our mindset is go
Speaker 3: to identity first. And you know, in what I love
Speaker 3: about faith and religions of the world, it says, actually
Speaker 3: interpret things through the Word, interpret things through Him and
Speaker 3: what He intended, versus just how you feel and who
Speaker 3: you think you are. Because if I ran my entire
Speaker 3: life based on identity, who I think I am and
Speaker 3: how I'm feeling and how I identify in these groups
Speaker 3: versus a higher moral ethic versus spiritual.
Speaker 1: Guidance, we'd be a hot mess.
Speaker 3: And I think that's one of the things we struggle
Speaker 3: with in the world right now. That's why we have
Speaker 3: I would say we have a selfie culture versus a
Speaker 3: service culture. We have a selfi culture because we're all
Speaker 3: focused so much on identity and we're sometimes missing the
Speaker 3: higher calling, the higher service that if we interpreted life
Speaker 3: in a different way through faith, through spirituality, we'd probably
Speaker 3: act differently. And so it sounds like when I say,
Speaker 3: you know, mindset is interpretation that identity. Sometimes people would
Speaker 3: think that's, oh, that's an negative thing because you're saying
Speaker 3: impulse and then self. But I'm often saying too, interpretation
Speaker 3: is connecting to a higher cause or higher moral ethic,
Speaker 3: higher spirituality. And I'm within that. I am within like
Speaker 3: Christ is in me. I am part of this. This
Speaker 3: is a bigger thing than just me. And I think
Speaker 3: that's actually empowering because I can understand I'm enough because
Speaker 3: I'm you know, He's in me, but I'm external too.
Speaker 2: Since you're already there, I think we should just dive on,
Speaker 2: download deeper into this because I know you wonder about
Speaker 2: this too, sometimes self esteem, like self worth, like I'm enough,
Speaker 2: It's it's sometimes just so flip it right. And yet
Speaker 2: I know me. I know the the dark parts of me.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 2: I know not only the mistakes I make, but the
Speaker 2: mistakes that I want to make that I hold myself
Speaker 2: back from that are even worse than the ones that
Speaker 2: I make. And knowing all of that about me, I
Speaker 2: want shared with our church, and I share it a
Speaker 2: little bit in the book that accepting Jesus wasn't that
Speaker 2: hard for me? Like we have this phrase accepting Jesus
Speaker 2: as your Lord and say you're a receiving Christ. Well,
Speaker 2: accepting him, I get forgiven, loved, get to go to Heaven. Great,
Speaker 2: sign me up. I'm accepting Jesus. He has the way
Speaker 2: that I should live, he has all wisdom, all power.
Speaker 2: I'm accepting Jesus. That took me, you know, just opening
Speaker 2: my heart and accepting him. But accepting Stephen, that's a
Speaker 2: little harder. And I have a real passion to help
Speaker 2: you with this because I think it's possible for you
Speaker 2: to accept Jesus and not accept you. In fact, this
Speaker 2: mindset in the book goes with an action step they
Speaker 2: each do, and this action step.
Speaker 1: Is accept yourself.
Speaker 2: And I put it with a capital S, not because
Speaker 2: your God and God is you and believe that. I
Speaker 2: believe that basically the self that God wants you to
Speaker 2: accept is your spirit, which is made perfect and complete
Speaker 2: in Him, which is cleansed, and.
Speaker 1: Then it's covered up by all of this other stuff.
Speaker 2: So I want to know as you've studied it, because man,
Speaker 2: you've looked into this from every different angle and the
Speaker 2: terms that we throw around sometimes about self worth and
Speaker 2: self esteem and identity, sometimes it's a moving target. It's
Speaker 2: not like I just either accept myself or I don't.
Speaker 2: It kind of depends on the time of day or
Speaker 2: what just happened or what stimulus I just ran into.
Speaker 2: So talk to me about how that self worth, self
Speaker 2: esteem think can be a moving target for us.
Speaker 3: I think you nailed this in the book that this
Speaker 3: you know I Am enough comes back down to recognizing
Speaker 3: that we are more than what limits us, and we
Speaker 3: are more than what's missing. As you say in the
Speaker 3: first part of the chapter, you say, you know you're
Speaker 3: more than just what's missing. That sometimes the reason it
Speaker 3: feels like a moving target is because in every given situation,
Speaker 3: we go, am I capable.
Speaker 1: To handle this?
Speaker 3: That's at that moment, that's what we're saying.
Speaker 1: Am I enough? Am I capable of handling this? Then
Speaker 1: we say, oh, am I doing it right?
Speaker 3: Am I perfect? And we consider perfect enough? And then
Speaker 3: we say do I have as much? Or am I
Speaker 3: as good as them? That makes me enough because I
Speaker 3: compare well? So we usually say am I capable? Am
Speaker 3: I perfect? Am I comparing well?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 3: Those are the three moving targets, and you're never going
Speaker 3: to hit all three of them, so you're never going
Speaker 3: to feel enough because if that's how you equate enough,
Speaker 3: you're in trouble. So in all the psychology always comes
Speaker 3: back down to definitions. Right, So what does it mean
Speaker 3: for you to be enough? And that's what will start
Speaker 3: in coaching sometimes, what does it mean for you to
Speaker 3: be enough?
Speaker 1: Maybe you put that in the chain, Yeah, what does
Speaker 1: it mean enough? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Because most people say what does it mean to be enough? Well,
Speaker 3: I got to be perfect. I got to be capable
Speaker 3: to handle all the complexity of this new business or
Speaker 3: this new challenge or this new issue I'm facing, And
Speaker 3: oh yeah, I got to compare well next to my neighbor. Well,
Speaker 3: if that's what enough to you is, you're never going
Speaker 3: to achieve it. You'll never get near it because those
Speaker 3: three things are always moving in every given new situation.
Speaker 3: So at some point, just like happiness in our life,
Speaker 3: we discern what is happiness to me? And in this
Speaker 3: case we have to say, well, what is enough to me?
Speaker 3: Is me being enough? Does that mean I'm confident? Does
Speaker 3: it mean I feel capable? Does it mean I'm worthy?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: What does it mean?
Speaker 3: And people often only explore that once they get to
Speaker 3: the point where it feel like, oh wait, I am
Speaker 3: doing life kind of good.
Speaker 2: I am measuring up pretty well. With the Jones you
Speaker 2: taught something one time. I think it really fits with
Speaker 2: this mindset. I would love for you to hear this
Speaker 2: game changing teaching that Brendan has on integrating your wins. Now.
Speaker 2: I've shared some of this before, but I can't share
Speaker 2: it the way you do. And I realized that maybe
Speaker 2: part of the reason I can't share it is because
Speaker 2: I'm scared sometimes to give myself any credit because it's like, no,
Speaker 2: it was all God. I like the joke that sometimes
Speaker 2: will tell a singer in church you know, wow, you
Speaker 2: really did great today's singing, and they'll go, no, it
Speaker 2: wasn't me, it was it was all God, to which
Speaker 2: I always want to say, no, it wasn't all God.
Speaker 1: It wasn't that good. If it was all it was good,
Speaker 1: you did good. And this idea of integrating your wins.
Speaker 2: Talk about that because I think a lot of us
Speaker 2: are confused and we're like, well, I don't want to
Speaker 2: have pride.
Speaker 1: Well, no, you don't want to have pride.
Speaker 2: But this idea that I can never really feel good
Speaker 2: about what I did that doesn't please God either, So
Speaker 2: give this teaching.
Speaker 1: I love this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's kind of like, if you think about it,
Speaker 3: are you enough? It's kind of like a you know,
Speaker 3: like a gas tank a little bit. You know, it's
Speaker 3: either full or it's not. And for what most what's
Speaker 3: happening for most people on their journey of life is
Speaker 3: they depleted it over and over and over and over
Speaker 3: in terms of not giving themselves credit, and so they
Speaker 3: never integrate the win. Every time they screw something up,
Speaker 3: they take such a huge chunk out of themselves. They're
Speaker 3: just like demoralizing themselves. They're just like self hatred. They're
Speaker 3: angry at themselves. They have guilt and shame, and every
Speaker 3: time something goes bad, it's just like they take something
Speaker 3: out of themselves.
Speaker 1: They drain the tank.
Speaker 3: And people who finally feel more confident, more fulfilled, more capable,
Speaker 3: more than enough, they're able to see all the times
Speaker 3: they did okay, they didn't screw up, they manage things well,
Speaker 3: they became resilient, they bounced back, they were a good person,
Speaker 3: they got the award, they did achieve something, they did
Speaker 3: feel good at the end of the day, and they
Speaker 3: integrate that into who they are.
Speaker 1: I am enough.
Speaker 3: I did these things, and they added up inside the character,
Speaker 3: they added up inside the strength. And there's a stacking
Speaker 3: that happens in our psychology after enough integrating of the wins.
Speaker 3: Because I work with athletes who've lost their confidence. They
Speaker 3: lost their like they're literally top of the game, you know,
Speaker 3: they're top five of the world, and they've lost their confidence.
Speaker 1: So they have me come in.
Speaker 3: I'll just sit down with them talking for thirty minutes,
Speaker 3: and I'll realize they're telling me everything they have done wrong,
Speaker 3: lost that game, dropped that ball, sparked over here, got
Speaker 3: this fine? I mean, they're telling me everything that went wrong,
Speaker 3: and they're not saying anything about what they're doing right,
Speaker 3: and so their self talk is always diminishing versus additive
Speaker 3: or recognizing their strength. So integrating the mean integrating the
Speaker 3: win means what if at the end of each day,
Speaker 3: you thought about the things you did do well, the
Speaker 3: things that did turn out okay, the things that you
Speaker 3: were proud of, the character you showed, the patience you showed,
Speaker 3: the love that you showed, the resilience you show, and
Speaker 3: you said, oh, that's part of me, and you just
Speaker 3: kind of and you allowed yourself to take some peace
Speaker 3: in the goodness of who you were that day. And
Speaker 3: if day after day, year after a year, you allow
Speaker 3: yourself to take some peace in of the goodness that
Speaker 3: you did and the goodness that you are, suddenly one
Speaker 3: day you feel more full. Now you can feel more fulfilled,
Speaker 3: you can feel like you're enough because you're adding in
Speaker 3: versus taking.
Speaker 1: Out all the time.
Speaker 3: And most people have never integrated the good things they've
Speaker 3: done in their life into their identity, so they still
Speaker 3: feel deficient, like they were a fifteen year old kid
Speaker 3: who beats themselves up and doesn't think they fit in.
Speaker 3: But you're talking about a thirty or forty year old
Speaker 3: woman or a man who has not yet ever breathed
Speaker 3: in the good that they did, so their confidence is
Speaker 3: of a high schooler versus a thirty or forty or
Speaker 3: fifty year old person because they never integrated those winds.
Speaker 2: I think of it, and that's such a beautiful picture, man,
Speaker 2: And that practice alone would change your life. If you
Speaker 2: sat with God at the end of the day or
Speaker 2: you're laying down, it doesn't have to be at a
Speaker 2: prayer bench, it can be. It doesn't have to be
Speaker 2: with the journal, it can be. But even if there
Speaker 2: was just some time for you to process with your
Speaker 2: heavenly father. I actually was thinking while you were talking
Speaker 2: about the other night when Graham, my middle son, came
Speaker 2: to me right before I was falling asleep, and he
Speaker 2: had had a really good match a few hours earlier,
Speaker 2: and he started asking me questions about the match, like
Speaker 2: when did you know I had it under control? And
Speaker 2: did you think I wasn't going to come back from
Speaker 2: that bad call? And I realized about third question what
Speaker 2: he was doing. He was processing with his father, what
Speaker 2: had happened, the victory that he had won, the struggle
Speaker 2: that he went through, to get there, almost as if
Speaker 2: to say to me, walk back.
Speaker 1: Through this with me and help me feel my wind.
Speaker 2: Nice and what a beautiful thing to pray to God,
Speaker 2: like God, help me feel that wind, because you know,
Speaker 2: when you're going through it, you don't feel like enough ever,
Speaker 2: you feel like I'm stretched. If you have faith, you're
Speaker 2: always going to be in a place that makes you
Speaker 2: feel a little bit outside of your comfort zone.
Speaker 1: And so then what do you do? You get through it?
Speaker 2: You show up anyway, You show up messy, you show
Speaker 2: up scared, You show up with your hands shaking, your
Speaker 2: mouth dry, not enough sleep, not enough.
Speaker 1: Resource, and you do it. But you didn't feel it
Speaker 1: while you did it because you were doing it.
Speaker 2: So then when you fall asleep that night or at
Speaker 2: the end of the week, or however you do it,
Speaker 2: you sit with God. And that's important because I don't
Speaker 2: believe I'm sitting by myself going.
Speaker 1: Wasn't I amazing how I worship me? I'm going God?
Speaker 1: Wasn't that crazy? See how we did that?
Speaker 2: I mean I even started praying a prayer recently to
Speaker 2: get into this Christ as in me, I am enough
Speaker 2: mindset more in my heart that before I go to
Speaker 2: preach or to do something like this, or even if
Speaker 2: it's not a spiritual activity the way we qualify spirituality,
Speaker 2: I'll pray God at the end of this day, I
Speaker 2: want to feel good about the work that you and
Speaker 2: I did together. And what it helps me to do is,
Speaker 2: first of all, Christ is in me. He's working with me,
Speaker 2: and we're going to talk about that in a later mindset,
Speaker 2: how God is always working through us. But the big
Speaker 2: thing about it is that I'm not processing this. Not
Speaker 2: only am I not processing only the defeats of the day,
Speaker 2: but I'm integrating the victories, giving praise to God right
Speaker 2: and allowing him to solidify it in my heart. I
Speaker 2: think that's a life changing practice. And I think it's
Speaker 2: different than just oh, be grateful, because a lot of
Speaker 2: people get hear this and say, yeah, I'm grateful for
Speaker 2: my blessings and all of this. No, you're saying something deeper.
Speaker 2: You're going have you taken the time for the blessings
Speaker 2: that God gave you and the victories that He gave
Speaker 2: you and really making that a part of yourself.
Speaker 3: Yes, future, Yeah, that's so huge. We see it in
Speaker 3: winning teams all the time. Is like win after win
Speaker 3: after win after win, you know, if you get to
Speaker 3: hang out with them in the bus afterwards or whatever,
Speaker 3: you see as the season goes on, they actually talk
Speaker 3: more about the wins. They still got a job to do,
Speaker 3: but they want to debrief it like Graham did. And
Speaker 3: I think a lot of people and they never debrief
Speaker 3: the good in their life.
Speaker 1: They bemoaned the bad.
Speaker 3: And so when you take a walk with your wife
Speaker 3: in the morning, if you would just talk about the
Speaker 3: good things that are happening and give praise, It's so simple.
Speaker 3: We all know we should do it, but so few
Speaker 3: people actually verbalize it, and so more people you're around.
Speaker 3: If you can talk about the good, talk about the good,
Speaker 3: talk about the good, give praise it suddenly you start
Speaker 3: to feel like life is a enough because sometimes you
Speaker 3: don't feel like enough, because you feel like life isn't enough,
Speaker 3: our house isn't big enough.
Speaker 1: I'm not enough.
Speaker 3: You know, the company's not doing well enough, so I'm
Speaker 3: not enough, and we equate these external things so often
Speaker 3: too am I enough? But if you can start giving
Speaker 3: glory and recognizing the good things, and I love what
Speaker 3: you shared that you're doing it together, now you solve
Speaker 3: two problems it's not only do you feel enough because
Speaker 3: good things are happening, but you also don't feel alone anymore.
Speaker 3: What resonated with me and where I found my own
Speaker 3: personal faith in my life was that I wasn't alone
Speaker 3: because I'd been a suicidal kid and had a car
Speaker 3: accident and had this really dramatic moment where I was
Speaker 3: standing on the hood of a car after escaping the
Speaker 3: car after we'd wrecked, and I was bleeding out and
Speaker 3: I thought I was going to die, and I realized
Speaker 3: I didn't want to die, and I happened to look
Speaker 3: up and there's a full moon that night, and that
Speaker 3: was my moment of connection with God. And I remember
Speaker 3: feeling like I wasn't alone anymore. Amazing in one second. Yeah,
Speaker 3: And I think what I like about what you did
Speaker 3: in this chapter is you started. You didn't say it's
Speaker 3: not a chapter says I'm enough. It says Christ's in me.
Speaker 3: Christ is in me. Yeah, Christ is in me, So
Speaker 3: I'm enough. That's really powerful because it means we're not alone.
Speaker 3: And once you realize you're not alone and you're doing
Speaker 3: something together, like you said, and you can share in
Speaker 3: the glory of.
Speaker 1: It, that just feels different, different quality of life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it does.
Speaker 2: It changes the way that you see your starting point
Speaker 2: if I'm always starting from not enough, trying to get
Speaker 2: to enough. Like you said, it's based in comparison. It's
Speaker 2: based in competency. And there was a third one competency.
Speaker 2: Am I competent? How do I compare to others? And
Speaker 2: there was one right per middle, Am I perfect? Well
Speaker 2: Jesus is perfect and he then me and he died
Speaker 2: for me, so he solves all of that, right, And
Speaker 2: then we move into this one specific section that I
Speaker 2: want to mention from this mindset, and I really think
Speaker 2: this is going to help you. It's a way of
Speaker 2: looking at life that comes from abundance. And so just
Speaker 2: put this in the comments right now. I'm coming from abundance,
Speaker 2: and for me, I'm coming from abundance means that God
Speaker 2: spoke and the world existed, and I exist from the
Speaker 2: same God who created the world. So if he did
Speaker 2: all of that and he did me, then as I
Speaker 2: do the new me, I know that I'm coming from abundance,
Speaker 2: meaning that God doesn't run out of patience for me.
Speaker 2: God doesn't run out of ideas, God doesn't run out
Speaker 2: of ways to provide God doesn't.
Speaker 1: Run out of strength to use me.
Speaker 2: So this fear of running out, I want to hit
Speaker 2: on it because I think at the heart of not
Speaker 2: enough is you got fomo if.
Speaker 1: You're missing out.
Speaker 2: I always talk about pharoh fear of running out, and
Speaker 2: I like to preach all the Bible passages. This is
Speaker 2: why we're good together because I have all these metaphors right,
Speaker 2: and I go crazy when their metaphors well. It can
Speaker 2: come to a point where we got to get beyond
Speaker 2: the metaphor into the mindset, into the mechanics of how
Speaker 2: to bring that into my life. And what I wonder
Speaker 2: is for the fear of running out, specifically the fear
Speaker 2: that not only am I not going to have enough money,
Speaker 2: but I'm not going to have enough people there to
Speaker 2: support me. I'm not going to have enough energy, so
Speaker 2: I don't commit to anything, and I start calculating all
Speaker 2: of that rather than realizing I'm coming from abundance. Get
Speaker 2: real practical about this coming from abundance mindset, and walk
Speaker 2: me through how you take somebody like me who scarcity Steve,
Speaker 2: you know, when I'm in my old self not doing
Speaker 2: the new me, get me from there to a coming
Speaker 2: from abundance. I come from God and He is enough
Speaker 2: for every need. Kind of walk me through that, coach
Speaker 2: me a little bit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, the first question is always, have you ever
Speaker 3: not had enough? Have you ever been in a place
Speaker 3: where you didn't have enough?
Speaker 2: I'd like to say categorically no, but I've definitely had
Speaker 2: moments where I thought that the energy was going to
Speaker 2: be there for me and I felt like either I
Speaker 2: fell short or it failed me, or maybe I thought
Speaker 2: I was going to have the thing that I needed
Speaker 2: to say and I've fallen short. I don't know if
Speaker 2: that's the same as not having enough. I know there's
Speaker 2: always been grace there, and I know that I've always
Speaker 2: had another day, and I know that God's always made away.
Speaker 1: So I'm not quite sure. I think you're setting me
Speaker 1: up a little bit. I'm not quite sure. Now there's
Speaker 1: a question I asked anybody.
Speaker 3: It's like, if you're so scared about scarcity, the first
Speaker 3: question is have you ever faced it before? And if
Speaker 3: you face scarcity before and there was a Monday after that,
Speaker 3: you start to realize scarcity is not so bad. And
Speaker 3: that sounds terrible to tell people like how no.
Speaker 1: Tell them scarcity's evil and scarcy's bad.
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, if scarcity's evil and scarcity is bad,
Speaker 3: then we got a problem because most of the population
Speaker 3: is in scarcity. And so what we have to realize
Speaker 3: is that scarcity is not terrifying. There's still a Monday
Speaker 3: after to improve, to earn, to build, to make a difference.
Speaker 3: You don't stop at the scarcity, just like we talked
Speaker 3: in the last session, you kind of keep going. And
Speaker 3: so what happens is when people have scarcity, it's very
Speaker 3: easy to feel like there's nothing out there for me.
Speaker 1: And I understand why.
Speaker 3: It's because so many people fear scarcity, and I say,
Speaker 3: don't fear scarcity. It's funny, when you fear something, you
Speaker 3: focus on it, you tend to get more of it.
Speaker 3: And part of the reason that the conversation pushes towards
Speaker 3: faith and toward spirit is to recognize there is a
Speaker 3: higher abundance, there is more for us. And when we
Speaker 3: can tap into oh there's more for us, I can change.
Speaker 3: I can shift because I don't believe in that idea that, oh, hey,
Speaker 3: you're in scarcity right now. Let me just you know,
Speaker 3: let me just change your mind. There's tons there's people
Speaker 3: with jets, and you know what, you could become wealthy
Speaker 3: and you could have all these things. Sometimes, you know what,
Speaker 3: it sucks and it takes a really long time to
Speaker 3: get out of scarcity financially or scarcity you know, you
Speaker 3: feel they're scarcity. There's no one for you to love,
Speaker 3: and you might be single for five, six, seven, eight, nine,
Speaker 3: ten years. So the question is, can you acknowledge that
Speaker 3: there are scarcity in parts of our life, in the
Speaker 3: material parts of our lives, but tap into Christ in
Speaker 3: side that there is a forever abundance there and it
Speaker 3: is a mindset tric. It's hard for people to acknowledge
Speaker 3: that scarcity is real, but it doesn't have to be
Speaker 3: feared because there is something more than that.
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