1 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: What's up you guys. It's Kelly and it is Friday. 2 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:16,600 Speaker 1: Happy Friday. I hope you guys have had a great 3 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:20,640 Speaker 1: week out there. Chip will be here on today's podcast. 4 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:23,959 Speaker 1: It is going to be a podcast that we did 5 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,760 Speaker 1: a couple or a little bit ago. I can't remember 6 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,400 Speaker 1: exactly when it was. But the reason I'm on here 7 00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 1: by myself right now is we did actually record a 8 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:35,559 Speaker 1: new episode for today, and I have to tell you 9 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,280 Speaker 1: guys the truth. I just went back and was listening 10 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:41,159 Speaker 1: to it and some of the topics that we were 11 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:46,000 Speaker 1: discussing felt just a little bit too political for me. 12 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,360 Speaker 1: And I've told you guys a million times, this is 13 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,400 Speaker 1: not a political podcast. I do my best to take 14 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: responsibility of having a microphone or a platform, as they say, 15 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:59,120 Speaker 1: but also just really trusting my gut on some things. 16 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 1: And this podcast is here to bring peace and beauty 17 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 1: and hopefully, like to you guys, and especially our Friday podcast, 18 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 1: it really is supposed to be here to find connection, 19 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,760 Speaker 1: and we talk about that a lot, and it's really 20 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:18,039 Speaker 1: difficult when you get into any of these conversations to 21 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:22,600 Speaker 1: not start taking a side or participate in all of 22 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:26,199 Speaker 1: the opinions out there and the voices and the negative narratives, 23 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,520 Speaker 1: and it just does not feel right to me. That 24 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 1: doesn't mean I don't have an opinion or thoughts about 25 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,440 Speaker 1: all of the things that are happening in our world today, 26 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: but what I don't want to do is contribute to 27 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: noise and be divisive. So it's such a fine line. 28 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 1: I really try to walk it to the best of 29 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 1: my ability, and we can't always get it right. And 30 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 1: this was one of those things where I actually don't 31 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 1: think Chip or I said anything in particular that is 32 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:58,640 Speaker 1: incredibly offensive or anything like that, but it just wasn't 33 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:03,000 Speaker 1: a conversation that I've felt the need to put out there, 34 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 1: if that makes any sense to you guys, And I 35 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,480 Speaker 1: hope that you can respect that and really try to 36 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 1: look at our intention always on this podcast about bringing 37 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:17,639 Speaker 1: joy to you guys and connecting and finding peace within 38 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: the chaos, because lord knows, it is so chaotic out 39 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:25,400 Speaker 1: there right now. So we did want to repost an 40 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 1: episode that we had done a while back with connection 41 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,320 Speaker 1: to a podcast I did with an author, Henry Cohen, 42 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,920 Speaker 1: and he wrote a book called Be the Sun Not 43 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,839 Speaker 1: the Salt. The other thing is is like, obviously it's 44 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 1: really easy to go, Okay, well, just be kind to 45 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 1: everybody and get a little bit woo woo with the situations, 46 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 1: you know, and just Chip and I tend to do that. 47 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:49,079 Speaker 1: We want to be positive and put positivity out there 48 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 1: into the world, and sometimes it's just also like a 49 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 1: little bit eye rolly in some ways, Like I found 50 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:57,520 Speaker 1: some of the podcasts that we did record to be 51 00:02:57,639 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 1: a little bit like, okay, but that's not realistic, you know, like, yeah, 52 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: it sounds nice, go be nice to someone and smile 53 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:05,600 Speaker 1: at the group people at the grocery store. I do 54 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 1: always say do that. I love that energy, and I 55 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:12,120 Speaker 1: love putting positive energy into people's days, even strangers' days. 56 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:14,760 Speaker 1: But also I know a lot of us are just 57 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 1: scared right now, or we're tired, or we're angry, or 58 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:22,680 Speaker 1: we're frustrated, or we're going where's the world going? Like 59 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:25,120 Speaker 1: what is going to happen next? And so really what 60 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:29,040 Speaker 1: I wanted to do the intention for anything that we said, 61 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:32,240 Speaker 1: and then also anything I'm saying today is that I 62 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 1: really want to bring some light to your Friday, because 63 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: I do think this month has come out with a bang, 64 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,680 Speaker 1: and there's a lot that you'll see on social media 65 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 1: on both sides of the argument politically, that it just 66 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 1: feels so angry and so divisive, and if you're a 67 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: feeler like me, I'm sure you're feeling the weight of 68 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 1: all of that right now. And so what I try 69 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 1: to do when I'm going through situations like that is 70 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 1: really dial things back, like take a little space from 71 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 1: those things, take a little space from my phone, definitely 72 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: take some space from social media, and remember the good 73 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 1: in my life. And you know, sometimes that's moment to moment. 74 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 1: Sometimes that's every hour, sometimes that's one day at a time, 75 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,960 Speaker 1: whatever it is for you. What I would love to 76 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 1: just bring to you today is just the reminder that 77 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:22,159 Speaker 1: in this moment, in this day, in this time, whatever 78 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:26,240 Speaker 1: it is, try to find the gratitude or find the 79 00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 1: thing that you are grateful for, and remember that there 80 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 1: is good happening as well. You know, there's always going 81 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,799 Speaker 1: to be the negativity out there. There's a lot going 82 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:38,120 Speaker 1: on right now, a lot of divisiveness, a lot of fighting, 83 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:41,359 Speaker 1: a lot of anger, but there's also good and so 84 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,920 Speaker 1: don't forget that, and don't forget that there are people 85 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:47,840 Speaker 1: who want to connect no matter what your thoughts are, 86 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:52,440 Speaker 1: what your opinions are, but trying, like what Carolyn said 87 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:54,839 Speaker 1: earlier this week on the Wednesday podcast, like trying to 88 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:58,480 Speaker 1: remember the humanity in all of us, even though sometimes 89 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 1: that's really, really, really hard, and I think it takes 90 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:04,560 Speaker 1: a lot of practice. That is the kind of energy 91 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,279 Speaker 1: I really wanted to bring today, and I hope that 92 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,680 Speaker 1: this podcast that Chip and I did talking about being 93 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 1: the sun not the salt in people's lives, will help 94 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:17,160 Speaker 1: just bring that energy to your day and to your 95 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,640 Speaker 1: weekend and to the rest of this month moving forward. 96 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,680 Speaker 1: So that's what's going on today. We will be back 97 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:25,919 Speaker 1: next week with a new episode. I really hope you 98 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:29,719 Speaker 1: guys enjoyed this episode, and you can always again email 99 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,160 Speaker 1: us at the Edge at velvet edge dot com if 100 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 1: you want to talk this through with us. You can 101 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 1: always slide into my dms at Velvet Edge or we're 102 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:40,359 Speaker 1: on the at Velvet Edge podcast on Instagram also in 103 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:45,479 Speaker 1: those dms. So there we are. Happy Friday, y'all, good afternoon. 104 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 2: Hello are you are you British? 105 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:52,160 Speaker 1: Suddenly I think it was like a combination of Australian and British. 106 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's just Madonna. 107 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,760 Speaker 1: I do wish I was British times. I just love 108 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 1: a British accent. 109 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,040 Speaker 2: Why do they sound smarter? 110 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:07,920 Speaker 1: Well, just maybe a little more refined. Yeah, I do 111 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,719 Speaker 1: think I was British in a past life because I 112 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 1: have obsessions with all things British culture, and so you know, 113 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 1: sometimes it just comes out, you know, I mean, yeah, 114 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:22,720 Speaker 1: sometimes it's Cajun sounding and sometimes it's British. I mean whatever. Well, 115 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 1: Happy Friday, you guys. I talked to Chip. I gave 116 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:29,799 Speaker 1: you a copy of this book actually by Harry Cohen, 117 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: and it was Be the Sun Not the sal And 118 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 1: I talked to doctor Harry Cohen on Wednesday's podcast. I 119 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 1: did tell you I was reading this book thinking to myself, 120 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 1: this is for first of all, this is just like Chip, 121 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:45,080 Speaker 1: and this is just like my boyfriend, because both of 122 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,839 Speaker 1: you guys are sevens on the Enneagram and you bring 123 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:51,720 Speaker 1: such a positive energy to everything you do. And that's 124 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:53,760 Speaker 1: kind of what this book is about. It's a daily 125 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 1: kind of reader reminder of the small things you can 126 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 1: do in your day, in your life, in your relationships 127 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:04,360 Speaker 1: that will better your life. And also everyone else is 128 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,800 Speaker 1: around you. But you texted me and you go, I 129 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 1: feel seen. 130 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:08,240 Speaker 2: I feel seen. 131 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 3: I'd never heard of the word heliotropic before. 132 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,200 Speaker 1: I'll tell the listeners what that means. 133 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 3: The heliotropic effect is the tendency for all living systems 134 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:22,320 Speaker 3: to be drawn to energy that sustains its life. Like gravity, 135 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:26,440 Speaker 3: the heliotropic effect is a powerful invisible force that we 136 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:30,640 Speaker 3: can harness if we understand it. So it's basically like 137 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:34,400 Speaker 3: radiating light, you know, yeah, and then being. 138 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 1: Positivity gravitating towards you because you have a light about 139 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 1: you or the energy around you is positive and it 140 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 1: doesn't feel heavy or bring you down. And you and 141 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:48,239 Speaker 1: I were talking about this after and we're like, this 142 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:52,680 Speaker 1: is literally what we feel on a day today. And 143 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:56,440 Speaker 1: in our society it's really hard to not escape the salt. 144 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,760 Speaker 1: Like if we're saying, be the sun, not the salt. 145 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,360 Speaker 1: Right now, there feels like there's a lot of salt 146 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:06,480 Speaker 1: everywhere social media, politics, and it's just so interesting because 147 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:09,960 Speaker 1: it's almost like salt cells and sun doesn't. But in this. 148 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm look, I know that when I go to 149 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 3: look at the news, I click on all the horrible headlines. Yeah, 150 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:21,240 Speaker 3: Like I'm like bus crash, fifty eight people dead. I 151 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:24,120 Speaker 3: need to know about that, and It's just like when 152 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 3: I think back, I mean, a I try not to 153 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 3: read the news anymore because I just can't stomach it. 154 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,920 Speaker 3: But I think back to it, I'm like, what was 155 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 3: that doing to me internally, you know, emotionally, to just 156 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:38,640 Speaker 3: want to read the bad news? 157 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,200 Speaker 1: Well, I think it keeps us. If we're talking in 158 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:46,520 Speaker 1: terms of like a psychology thinking mindset, I would say 159 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 1: it probably keeps us in fight or flight. So once 160 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,960 Speaker 1: your nervous system gets activated, you almost are drawn to 161 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,520 Speaker 1: these things that continue that pattern because it feels familiar. 162 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 1: So we're doing these things subconsciously, but it doesn't really 163 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 1: make us feel good. I think everyone's probably been in 164 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,600 Speaker 1: some state of fight or flight since the pandemic, whether 165 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:07,320 Speaker 1: you want to believe it or accept that or not, 166 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,679 Speaker 1: we have all gone through this collective trauma. There's so 167 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:15,360 Speaker 1: much fighting happening everywhere, and like you just mentioned, like 168 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,320 Speaker 1: we didn't used to see that kind of stuff all 169 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,840 Speaker 1: the time. We weren't reading about every single thing that 170 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:22,160 Speaker 1: happened in the world all the time. 171 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, news is now a twenty four hour 172 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:27,080 Speaker 3: cycle at us. At least when we were growing up, 173 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:28,439 Speaker 3: it wasn't like the news. 174 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,800 Speaker 1: Came at six o'clock and the ten o'clock you read. 175 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:32,760 Speaker 3: The paper in the morning and it came on at 176 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:36,120 Speaker 3: five six and then again right before bed, so you had. 177 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,720 Speaker 1: Some control about what you were receiving and taking in, 178 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:42,880 Speaker 1: like you said. And now it's just our brains are 179 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:49,080 Speaker 1: easily accessible to these news outlets or trolls online or 180 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 1: whatever it is all the time because of the social 181 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 1: media world. And it's like also it's just emails, Like 182 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,720 Speaker 1: I'm subscribed to certain emails from different newspapers and things 183 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 1: like that. You constantly getting it in there too. When 184 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:03,560 Speaker 1: I really think about it, it just feels like it's 185 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 1: everywhere you turn. 186 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I wrote, I have a subscription to 187 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:11,000 Speaker 3: Rolling Stone because I'm a music junkie, and I don't 188 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 3: think like maybe ten percent of their headlines that I 189 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:16,880 Speaker 3: get emailed are music centric. 190 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,080 Speaker 1: That's so wild. 191 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,520 Speaker 2: It's all politics now. 192 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:23,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, politics has become entertainment, you know, And I think 193 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 3: that's why it is dangerous and bad for us, because 194 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 3: being a villain in politics now is like being a 195 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 3: villain in a Hollywood film, and everyone wants to write 196 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 3: about it. And we've all grown up loving those types 197 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:41,679 Speaker 3: of movies. But like where the fucking heroes today we 198 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,079 Speaker 3: like just don't have right. 199 00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:46,080 Speaker 1: That's what maybe we're arguing about, is who can be 200 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,360 Speaker 1: the hero. But the truth is, it feels like we're 201 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:50,840 Speaker 1: watching a bad reality TV show to me, and it's 202 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:54,160 Speaker 1: actually real life though, Like that's what people don't understand 203 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,400 Speaker 1: about reality TV is we talk about this a lot 204 00:10:56,480 --> 00:11:01,800 Speaker 1: like it's not necessarily exactly realistic if you will, I mean, 205 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 1: it's part part of it is realistic, but then it's 206 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: fabricated for TV or amplified for TV or done a 207 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:12,000 Speaker 1: certain way for TV, and then that's what's happening in 208 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,600 Speaker 1: our political world, it feels like, except that it's the 209 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:19,680 Speaker 1: outcomes are actually real life, Like it's impacting real life 210 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 1: things that are big and dangerous and scary. So it 211 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:27,000 Speaker 1: is a big deal. It's not just shouldn't just be 212 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,719 Speaker 1: tabloid fodder or something to get your popcorn out for 213 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 1: and just watch villains or fake heroes or whatever. 214 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 3: You know, it's just become a dangerous game that is 215 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,400 Speaker 3: better ignored maybe, but. 216 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:41,800 Speaker 1: It's hard because you feel like you need to be 217 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:52,880 Speaker 1: informed too. It's a fine line. There's two sides of 218 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,320 Speaker 1: this coin. So I mean, we had talked about it 219 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:59,200 Speaker 1: on a political scale at first, and I'll talk about 220 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,960 Speaker 1: it in a second why that came up for us. 221 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:03,760 Speaker 1: But it's hard because I don't really like to talk 222 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 1: about politics on this podcast. I don't like to feel 223 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:11,800 Speaker 1: like I'm taking one side and we can't have listeners 224 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,440 Speaker 1: who voted the other way or anything like that, Like 225 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:17,559 Speaker 1: I actually think that defeats the whole purpose of living 226 00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:20,760 Speaker 1: in a democracy that everyone can have their own opinion. 227 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:26,280 Speaker 1: I'm also not a political analyst or anything like that, now, 228 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:30,720 Speaker 1: are you. It's completely opinion based, and it just feels 229 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:32,880 Speaker 1: like I don't want to add to the noise of that, 230 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,680 Speaker 1: and it's hard to ignore because it's everywhere. So without 231 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,440 Speaker 1: taking sides, I do try to like mention the things 232 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:42,680 Speaker 1: that are impacting us, but not necessarily go so hard 233 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,200 Speaker 1: in the paint. I think we've just it's a hard 234 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 1: like we've gone back and forth on this on how 235 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,200 Speaker 1: to talk about it and whatever. But you had sent 236 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,920 Speaker 1: me a T shirt the other day because we were 237 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,960 Speaker 1: talking about I actually don't even remember why. What was 238 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:57,920 Speaker 1: the topic that you sent that for. 239 00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,520 Speaker 2: I can't even remember. 240 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,120 Speaker 1: You were mad about something our current president did. 241 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 3: Yes, well, I mean it started with the tesla ad 242 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,280 Speaker 3: that he oh, oh that's. 243 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,960 Speaker 1: What it was. That's what it was. Sorry, yeah, this 244 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:13,840 Speaker 1: again whatever you believe politically, like that's on you and 245 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:16,000 Speaker 1: this is on us and whatever, Like I don't. I 246 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,040 Speaker 1: think we've got to get over not being able to 247 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,880 Speaker 1: have different opinions from some people that we like, everyone 248 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:23,480 Speaker 1: has different value systems, Like that's what I truly believe, 249 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,720 Speaker 1: and the things that mattered to one person are not 250 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,640 Speaker 1: necessarily going to be the things that top are the 251 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,160 Speaker 1: top matters to others. So we have to respect each other, 252 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,800 Speaker 1: I think. But the T shirt you said like it 253 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 1: was supporting a cause that you believed in. But the 254 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 1: T shirt to me was very negative, like it said, 255 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:43,720 Speaker 1: I didn't vote for him, And I just have seen 256 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,200 Speaker 1: this so much. And trust me, I'm not saying this 257 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:47,960 Speaker 1: from a place of like I haven't done it too. 258 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,560 Speaker 1: I think we've done it. What I'm seeing is like 259 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,600 Speaker 1: we're not getting anywhere because all we're doing is trying 260 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,800 Speaker 1: to blame each side, and the truth is both sides 261 00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:02,480 Speaker 1: are pretty fucked up. The extreme things are not working. 262 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,960 Speaker 1: So we got to figure out a way to like 263 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:07,440 Speaker 1: come together. And I think a lot of people actually 264 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,880 Speaker 1: have beliefs somewhere in the middle, but we just get 265 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:13,920 Speaker 1: so triggered by stuff I am included in that that 266 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,560 Speaker 1: we want to just send hate back and it's not working. 267 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:18,920 Speaker 1: Like I think we need to fight for the causes 268 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 1: we believe in, but I think we got to find 269 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 1: another way to do it. And so for me, the 270 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,880 Speaker 1: T shirt it saying I didn't vote for him because 271 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:28,280 Speaker 1: I've we've had that on the other side as well, 272 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:32,359 Speaker 1: like sent back to us. I'm like, what is that accomplishing? 273 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:36,240 Speaker 1: So you're right there wrong, Like what does that actually 274 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,320 Speaker 1: get done? And then you and I talked about it, 275 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:41,400 Speaker 1: and you're like, yeah, I actually agree, like, yeah, that's 276 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 1: not the kind of energy that we want to bring 277 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,000 Speaker 1: to it to actually try to make changes. I'm not 278 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,600 Speaker 1: saying I have the solution. I just don't think that 279 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:50,640 Speaker 1: that's it. Does that make sense? 280 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 2: Totally? 281 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:54,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's you know, I think it's a really 282 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:58,280 Speaker 3: easy trap to fall into, to like to embrace the 283 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,560 Speaker 3: snark and missed the big picture. 284 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:05,200 Speaker 1: It does our security, so we're like, or we don't 285 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,000 Speaker 1: feel in control, so we want to like blame somebody. 286 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:09,320 Speaker 1: That's a normal human thing. 287 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:09,840 Speaker 3: Totally. 288 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, what were you about. 289 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:14,680 Speaker 3: To say no, I'm saying like that shirt in particular, 290 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:18,640 Speaker 3: like negativity can be wrapped up in the humor of it, 291 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:22,600 Speaker 3: you know, the snarkiness of the shirt, and it blinds 292 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:25,680 Speaker 3: you from the bigger picture of it being a blame 293 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:30,000 Speaker 3: game versus it being a funny, snarky thing, because I 294 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:33,160 Speaker 3: do see the humor in it too, or the protective 295 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:36,040 Speaker 3: qualities of it just to be like I didn't do it, 296 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 3: you know, in the same way that someone would wear 297 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:42,760 Speaker 3: something positive like a Maga hat because they're proud of it. 298 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 2: But there's. 299 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:47,640 Speaker 3: Maga I don't know, Maga, I don't know, maga whatever, 300 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:51,080 Speaker 3: but the m Aga hat, like they wear it because 301 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,040 Speaker 3: they're supportive of it. But there's also the underlying tone 302 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:58,680 Speaker 3: of I'm better than you, you know, like the do 303 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:02,000 Speaker 3: it this way right right, And there is the element, yeah, 304 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:05,000 Speaker 3: the element of just like where right, you're wrong. In 305 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:08,880 Speaker 3: the same way, it's it's not meant to be snarky, 306 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:12,880 Speaker 3: like it's not funny, right, but it sends the same message. 307 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,160 Speaker 1: Well, the truth is, think about it. If you get 308 00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:19,440 Speaker 1: in a fight with someone and you go to hard 309 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,080 Speaker 1: to bad at your side, like most fights, we know this, 310 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,840 Speaker 1: there's two sides to every story. The third one is 311 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:29,440 Speaker 1: typically the truth, right, Like every fight probably has a 312 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:32,040 Speaker 1: little dose of truth on each side, or someone's coming 313 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:34,760 Speaker 1: from a certain perspective that makes sense for them and 314 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:38,160 Speaker 1: their journey or whatever you want to say. So if 315 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:42,560 Speaker 1: you realize after a fight that whatever you were saying, 316 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:46,000 Speaker 1: you're like, yeah, maybe they were right, Like I could 317 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,880 Speaker 1: see what they're saying now, and you go to them 318 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:51,480 Speaker 1: and literally all they say to you is I told 319 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:55,360 Speaker 1: you so or something. Yeah, what does that do? There's 320 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:58,520 Speaker 1: no repair between y'all, Like, no, not ever going to 321 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,880 Speaker 1: be good. It just makes you probably more mad and 322 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,000 Speaker 1: it doesn't accomplish anything. And so that's kind of the 323 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,399 Speaker 1: same energy to me that is being put out with 324 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:09,480 Speaker 1: so much of the politics as like well, I told 325 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,919 Speaker 1: you so, But it's happening on both sides, and both 326 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:16,720 Speaker 1: sides truly believe their side is right. We have to 327 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,200 Speaker 1: figure out a way, I think, to hear the other 328 00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:23,600 Speaker 1: side agree to disagree on some things, probably a lot 329 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,119 Speaker 1: of things, but how do we like work together for 330 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:29,800 Speaker 1: the common goal and be more of the sun with 331 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:33,160 Speaker 1: each other than just throwing more salts on the wounds, 332 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,560 Speaker 1: Like it's not helping. 333 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:38,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's truly causing a decay of society. 334 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,080 Speaker 1: Well, it's just the pendulum keeps going back and forth. 335 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:44,120 Speaker 3: And that's never You're never gonna You're never gonna meet 336 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:45,119 Speaker 3: in the middle that way. No. 337 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:47,919 Speaker 1: The point being to me is I'm seeing now a 338 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:51,280 Speaker 1: lot of times now that the political environment has shifted 339 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:55,360 Speaker 1: to the more conservative side. A lot of the people 340 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:58,800 Speaker 1: that I follow are saying, well, see I told you 341 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:01,280 Speaker 1: or whatever, and it's just like that T shirt. It's like, 342 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:05,040 Speaker 1: it's just like, I don't think that that helps as 343 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:08,720 Speaker 1: as a person who is seeing things happen right now 344 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:12,359 Speaker 1: that I don't think I voted for. If I just go, well, 345 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,520 Speaker 1: I didn't vote for that, what am I helping other 346 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:18,320 Speaker 1: than my ego? Do you know what I'm saying? Like that? 347 00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:20,760 Speaker 1: It's just a very ego based to me, And it's 348 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:25,200 Speaker 1: very much like we're all doing the best we can 349 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:30,240 Speaker 1: exactly like it's I told you so, it's whatever, and again, 350 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,560 Speaker 1: voice your concerns if that's what it is. But can 351 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,720 Speaker 1: we all try to change the way we're doing it. 352 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:38,600 Speaker 1: That's my biggest thing. It's like, right, let's be able 353 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:42,359 Speaker 1: to have a fucking adult conversation about differing opinions and 354 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:45,800 Speaker 1: differing beliefs, because then we might actually get something done. 355 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:49,640 Speaker 1: But the longer that we sit on these tangents of 356 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,960 Speaker 1: well I didn't do that, or that was all you, 357 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:54,320 Speaker 1: or you voted for that not me, or you said 358 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:55,760 Speaker 1: to do this and not me, and it's. 359 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,960 Speaker 3: Like, okay, it accomplishes nothing. 360 00:18:58,160 --> 00:18:59,600 Speaker 2: It's not accomplishes nothing. 361 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think so a lot of that to 362 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:04,240 Speaker 1: get off the political stuff and go back to social 363 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,280 Speaker 1: media is like we're seeing a lot of that on 364 00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:12,399 Speaker 1: social media. And so a research is social media negativity 365 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:16,560 Speaker 1: rewarded over positivity? And the answer, what do you think 366 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:16,880 Speaker 1: it is? 367 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,080 Speaker 2: Hands down, it is rewarded. 368 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:21,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, a million percent rewarded. 369 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:22,439 Speaker 2: Yeah. 370 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:26,000 Speaker 1: Studies have shown that negative posts often garner more engagement 371 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:30,040 Speaker 1: than positive ones. For instance, research indicates that negative news 372 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:36,240 Speaker 1: content increases physiological activation and is more likely to be remembered, 373 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:39,840 Speaker 1: leading to higher share rates. Isn't that crazy? 374 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:44,760 Speaker 3: Do you think it's like a dopamine thing where it 375 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:49,280 Speaker 3: affects our brains in a way that like calls this 376 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:52,919 Speaker 3: fight or flight Because I can imagine like some of 377 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,879 Speaker 3: the shares are like I'm forty, Like if I disagree 378 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:57,160 Speaker 3: with it, I'm pissed off. 379 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,439 Speaker 2: So I'm forty because I get them all the time. 380 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:03,760 Speaker 3: And right after the inauguration, when I was unhappy, I 381 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,160 Speaker 3: was having friends forward me a bunch of stuff that 382 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:10,000 Speaker 3: like were negative, and I had to ask them like, Hey, 383 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,840 Speaker 3: this name is in my inbox enough and on my 384 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:16,400 Speaker 3: screens enough. I don't need my friends forwarding it. 385 00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,000 Speaker 1: It's not helping you, it's not. 386 00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:18,880 Speaker 2: Helping me write it down. 387 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:22,280 Speaker 3: So there is like a I think that the salty 388 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:27,040 Speaker 3: things get that sort of interaction for two reasons, Whereas 389 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:30,480 Speaker 3: it's so much easier to gloss over something positive. You're 390 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,359 Speaker 3: just like, oh, yeah, it's cute, Oh that's cute. 391 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:33,720 Speaker 2: You know. 392 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,680 Speaker 1: I can only speak for myself, but what I did realize, 393 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:39,320 Speaker 1: like my boyfriend, like I said, has a very similar 394 00:20:39,359 --> 00:20:43,200 Speaker 1: mentality to you, and he even with this political environment, 395 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:48,200 Speaker 1: is like I think it's so interesting because both sides 396 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,040 Speaker 1: when either if you had if you Biden was your 397 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,280 Speaker 1: president or if Trump is your president, that you voted 398 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:58,240 Speaker 1: for one side of that argument was always freaking the 399 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:01,400 Speaker 1: fuck out that the world was over while the opposite 400 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,479 Speaker 1: person was in office. If I'm not saying that right like, 401 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,800 Speaker 1: if you're a Democrat, right now, you're struggling with the 402 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:10,160 Speaker 1: Trump being in office when you if you're super hard conservative, 403 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:14,719 Speaker 1: you're probably struggling with Biden. And so his point to 404 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:18,359 Speaker 1: me is always like, focus on yourself better the world. 405 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:22,440 Speaker 1: Do like do your part of the thing, you know, 406 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:26,960 Speaker 1: like bring sun not salt in your everyday interactions. Show 407 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,080 Speaker 1: up and do the best you can. And I will 408 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,800 Speaker 1: have days where I'm like, that's not gonna say right, right, 409 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:36,640 Speaker 1: so emotional that like, sometimes the emotions overwhelm me. And 410 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,040 Speaker 1: the more I've thought about it though, and I'm reading 411 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,000 Speaker 1: this book kind of helped too. I just am like, 412 00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:43,679 Speaker 1: part of that is right, because what happens for me 413 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:48,840 Speaker 1: if I start reading about negative political news and I 414 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,840 Speaker 1: get hooked on it, it's almost like I don't know 415 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,200 Speaker 1: if it's like a control thing, but it's like the 416 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 1: more that I think my brain thinks, the more that 417 00:21:56,359 --> 00:21:59,320 Speaker 1: I read, the more in control that I'll be because 418 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:02,640 Speaker 1: I'll be in the know of when the world's gonna end. 419 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:03,679 Speaker 3: Right. 420 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:08,720 Speaker 1: And it's like, yeah, that's not really how this works. 421 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,000 Speaker 1: It's not how the universe works. But I do think 422 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:14,600 Speaker 1: there's some sort of sense of safety and security. It's false, 423 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,920 Speaker 1: but a false sense of security and safety that I'm 424 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:20,640 Speaker 1: trying to garner by having as much information as I can. 425 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,920 Speaker 1: And now that we're saying what we're saying though, it's 426 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:28,879 Speaker 1: like and also that gives the media and trolls online 427 00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:33,360 Speaker 1: in all of these other avenues or outlets control over 428 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:35,159 Speaker 1: my fucking brain in my life. 429 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, and that's what that's what they want. 430 00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,360 Speaker 3: I mean, they are designed to hook you. They're designed 431 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:45,000 Speaker 3: to be addictive. They are designed to keep you engaged 432 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,760 Speaker 3: because the more you're on it, the more they're selling ads, 433 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,720 Speaker 3: the more you're clicking on things to buy, the more, 434 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:52,520 Speaker 3: the more the more. 435 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:53,080 Speaker 2: You know. 436 00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:55,359 Speaker 3: What's funny is, while you were talking, like, all I 437 00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:58,520 Speaker 3: can think of is the old adage ignorance is. 438 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:02,040 Speaker 2: Bliss, you know what I mean. It's like at what point, 439 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:02,760 Speaker 2: like when we were. 440 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:06,280 Speaker 3: Running around as kids and all we knew was like fun. 441 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:11,200 Speaker 3: We didn't have information, We had friends, we had adventures, 442 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:13,800 Speaker 3: we had we were making shit up in our heads 443 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,840 Speaker 3: and we were like happy and. 444 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:19,720 Speaker 2: The world like we weren't even aware of what was 445 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,320 Speaker 2: going on in Washington, DC. 446 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:26,800 Speaker 3: And I think if we could all sort of approach 447 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:30,160 Speaker 3: try to approach life a little bit more like find 448 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,960 Speaker 3: that kid in us again that would run up to 449 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,679 Speaker 3: a stranger and hand them a flower that they just picked, 450 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,680 Speaker 3: or tell someone that they you know, like their shirt. 451 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:41,960 Speaker 2: Or just being more sun in the world. 452 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:46,640 Speaker 3: Really, that is the weapon that changes all of this bullshit. 453 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:48,680 Speaker 2: That's the only way forward. 454 00:23:57,640 --> 00:23:59,720 Speaker 1: But it's so funny though, because it's like what I 455 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:04,520 Speaker 1: said before the podcast, I feel sometimes like the more 456 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:10,280 Speaker 1: healthy I and my life have gotten, that I seem 457 00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:15,280 Speaker 1: more boring. Like it's almost like if you are not 458 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:19,720 Speaker 1: operating from a high drama chaos place, I mean, there's 459 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:22,600 Speaker 1: no entertainment value in that, right, And so it's almost 460 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:27,000 Speaker 1: like really having to rewire our entire culture to understand 461 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:33,239 Speaker 1: that positivity, calm lives like consistency, the things like the 462 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,320 Speaker 1: things that I changed when I changed how I dated, 463 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,679 Speaker 1: like the things I was looking for in a relationship 464 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,439 Speaker 1: are almost on a bigger scale what we need to 465 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,920 Speaker 1: change or what might be beneficial for us to change. 466 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,520 Speaker 1: But it's the same old thing of like you know, 467 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:51,879 Speaker 1: even sex cells or the sensationalized things or you and 468 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:53,639 Speaker 1: I used to talk about like sometimes we would use 469 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:55,840 Speaker 1: more shock factor kind of things like oh, if we 470 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,760 Speaker 1: tell people this, then that's enticing and the truth is, 471 00:24:58,760 --> 00:24:59,800 Speaker 1: is it fucking works. 472 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:04,160 Speaker 3: Well. We're in an attention economy, so it's like we 473 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:08,320 Speaker 3: were doing that shit for attention, and now this feels 474 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:13,000 Speaker 3: more intentional instead of attentional. 475 00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:15,120 Speaker 2: It's we're like, we're doing this from. 476 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,840 Speaker 3: I don't even know if attentional is a word, but 477 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:21,560 Speaker 3: if it isn't trademarket. This is intentional. And it's like, 478 00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,320 Speaker 3: maybe we don't reach as many people by doing it 479 00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:26,080 Speaker 3: because we're not going to have a moment that goes 480 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:31,400 Speaker 3: viral or whatever. But my hope is that by us 481 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:34,919 Speaker 3: being more vulnerable and kind and positive, that the people 482 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,760 Speaker 3: that we are reaching and the people that are listening, 483 00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,960 Speaker 3: we're bringing light into their day. And I would encourage 484 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,399 Speaker 3: anybody who is listening that feels like they know people 485 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:47,040 Speaker 3: that need more positivity to share this with somebody like, 486 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:52,080 Speaker 3: because that's how that grows. And I'm not saying that 487 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:55,040 Speaker 3: even just for like listenership and numbers or whatever. I'm 488 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,840 Speaker 3: saying it because it's like, there's only so many people 489 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 3: a day that I can touch, you know, personally and 490 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:05,280 Speaker 3: shine a little light on. And I agree with you, like, 491 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:07,800 Speaker 3: I feel like my life has gotten really fucking boring lately. 492 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,240 Speaker 3: And I love it same. 493 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:14,120 Speaker 2: I don't want the attention. I craved so much attention. 494 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:15,159 Speaker 2: You know. 495 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,160 Speaker 3: I wanted to be popular, I wanted to be liked 496 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,800 Speaker 3: by everybody. I wanted all of the things that really 497 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,760 Speaker 3: don't matter. Like now, what I want is to like 498 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:26,840 Speaker 3: myself truly deeply and know myself. 499 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,320 Speaker 2: And I mean. 500 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,320 Speaker 3: I've done all that stuff. At the end of the day, 501 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:36,159 Speaker 3: I often felt really fucking empty. Yeah, I worked so 502 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:39,480 Speaker 3: hard to have nearly six thousand friends on Facebook just 503 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:42,439 Speaker 3: to have someone steal it, you know what. 504 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:44,119 Speaker 2: I mean, Like, what the fuck? 505 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,600 Speaker 3: It meant nothing? It meant nothing, and you know how 506 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:48,400 Speaker 3: happy I am without it now? 507 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:51,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. The other thing is like when 508 00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:54,600 Speaker 1: the focus is that, I think both of us have experienced, 509 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:57,320 Speaker 1: even like this thing you just said about Facebook. When 510 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,280 Speaker 1: you experience something like that, then you realize, oh god, 511 00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:03,919 Speaker 1: I worked so hard to get to this place. And 512 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:07,520 Speaker 1: then it's proof it's gone, you know, overnight, and I'm 513 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:09,920 Speaker 1: still here and my life is still the same, And 514 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:11,640 Speaker 1: what did it actually mean? 515 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:11,840 Speaker 3: Then? 516 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,919 Speaker 1: So, when you're chasing attention or validation or all the 517 00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:18,440 Speaker 1: external things as the number one priority, it can be 518 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 1: taken away at any moment and you're insatiable, you'll never 519 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,679 Speaker 1: have enough. I think both of us have reached a 520 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:28,320 Speaker 1: different place now where we're like, wait, I just want 521 00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:32,639 Speaker 1: to have quality conversations like this, for instance, if people shared, 522 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,040 Speaker 1: I would just hope that people just start talking in 523 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:36,879 Speaker 1: the same way that you and I are, just asking 524 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:39,720 Speaker 1: the questions, like this isn't to sit on some soapbox 525 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:41,680 Speaker 1: and be like, let's be kind to everybody because we're 526 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:44,480 Speaker 1: so kind and we're perfect, Like neither one of us are, 527 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:46,879 Speaker 1: and we're not trying to say that by any means. 528 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:50,919 Speaker 1: I'm just like, what we're doing in this world doesn't 529 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,840 Speaker 1: feel like it's working to me. That's all that I notice. 530 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,800 Speaker 1: So there has to be another way. And if we 531 00:27:56,920 --> 00:28:00,679 Speaker 1: haven't done that way before, let's figure it out together, Like, 532 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:05,919 Speaker 1: let's start asking the questions. Let's start talking about I 533 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,320 Speaker 1: want to fucking ran I know. Let's talk about what's 534 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:12,800 Speaker 1: not working or what we feel like when we're experiencing 535 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:16,800 Speaker 1: all these things online, in politics, whatever it is. And 536 00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,560 Speaker 1: I bet you most people would say, I feel heavy, 537 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:23,280 Speaker 1: I don't feel good, and isn't the goal to feel good? 538 00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,600 Speaker 1: Like why are we not doing the things that make 539 00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:27,639 Speaker 1: us happy and that make us feel good and then 540 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:30,320 Speaker 1: spreading that around. And I think that's what you and 541 00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:33,200 Speaker 1: I just started to realize, like, Okay, maybe we want 542 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,399 Speaker 1: to be more of the sun and not the salt. 543 00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:39,120 Speaker 1: Like I don't want to be talking about gossip and 544 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,440 Speaker 1: slander and all that stuff anymore. It doesn't feel good 545 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:42,800 Speaker 1: to me. That's why I don't want to do it. 546 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:44,760 Speaker 1: Not because I think I'm better than anybody else. I 547 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,720 Speaker 1: just literally it makes me feel bad. Yeah, Like I 548 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:49,120 Speaker 1: don't want to do it. I don't want to do 549 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:50,280 Speaker 1: things that make me feel bad. 550 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,680 Speaker 3: I don't feel like I'm better than anybody else. I 551 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:54,760 Speaker 3: just want to be the best me. 552 00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean I talked about being on that journey 553 00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:58,200 Speaker 1: lately like a lot. 554 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:03,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, I am kumbay eyeing myself, and I do think 555 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,200 Speaker 3: it was because I was. I was looking for the 556 00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:11,200 Speaker 3: external validation and all the while I didn't like myself 557 00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,240 Speaker 3: and that was a really hard pill to swallow to 558 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:15,120 Speaker 3: recognize that. 559 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:17,160 Speaker 2: And now I do like myself. 560 00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,600 Speaker 3: You know, I'm and every day I'm reading something to 561 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:24,440 Speaker 3: try and stay in touch with myself. I've started journaling, 562 00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,240 Speaker 3: I'm doing all the things, and I you know, it's 563 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:29,480 Speaker 3: funny too, because I've had to have some really tough 564 00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:32,960 Speaker 3: conversations with some friends lately that I don't know that 565 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,880 Speaker 3: I would have had the courage to do in the past. 566 00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:40,720 Speaker 3: And it's crazy how easy it is, even when it's 567 00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:44,440 Speaker 3: a hard conversation, how easy it is when like you 568 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:46,840 Speaker 3: know that it's coming from a place of pure love 569 00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:52,560 Speaker 3: and there is no pill on earth that can replace 570 00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:57,040 Speaker 3: that feeling. And it's also amazing when it comes back 571 00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:58,800 Speaker 3: to you and they're like, I'm so grateful that you 572 00:29:58,840 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 3: were honest with me about that. 573 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:03,360 Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, what I hear you saying is that your 574 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:06,080 Speaker 1: life is just getting deeper and so it's getting richer. 575 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,640 Speaker 1: And I think that's a really great overall thing to 576 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:13,200 Speaker 1: think about, too, is just instead of the fighting and 577 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:15,479 Speaker 1: being so on the surface of the things, why are 578 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,840 Speaker 1: we not let's start looking maybe at the root of 579 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,520 Speaker 1: some Like we talk about root causes with health, but 580 00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:23,800 Speaker 1: there's also root causes with mental health and thess psychological 581 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:27,040 Speaker 1: issues and happiness and all of the driving forces of 582 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,400 Speaker 1: everything that we do why we do what we do. 583 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:33,160 Speaker 1: So if you disagree with somebody, maybe look at the 584 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:37,480 Speaker 1: root of their story and where they're coming from and 585 00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:40,120 Speaker 1: also where you're coming from, and stop arguing about the 586 00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:42,960 Speaker 1: simple point and try to have a conversation about the 587 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,040 Speaker 1: deeper thing. It's just really interesting when you start doing that, 588 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:49,480 Speaker 1: isn't it? Like your relationships get better, you feel better, 589 00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:56,560 Speaker 1: life gets better, all of it. It's just deeper, richer, warmer, happier. Yeah, 590 00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:57,760 Speaker 1: it's son that. 591 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,520 Speaker 3: Well, everyone's got a different point of view and we're 592 00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:04,400 Speaker 3: all built on different histories and you have to take 593 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:07,840 Speaker 3: that into consideration. When you're talking to somebody, You've got 594 00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:11,160 Speaker 3: to meet them where they are. Yeah, and that's something 595 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,440 Speaker 3: new that I learned, and I'm kind of glads like, 596 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:17,200 Speaker 3: has let me sort of release a lot of anger. 597 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I guess the last thing I'll end on 598 00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:22,120 Speaker 1: because I know we got to go. But I just 599 00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:24,800 Speaker 1: was thinking about it when you told you were saying 600 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,880 Speaker 1: the thing to me about social media and just how 601 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,240 Speaker 1: they that's what they want, we keep saying, they like 602 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:35,440 Speaker 1: he ever is running social media? All Yeah, just be conscious. 603 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,480 Speaker 1: Like That's what I'm starting to realize too, is I'm 604 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:42,560 Speaker 1: so unconsciously scrolling and taking in information, and I'm trying 605 00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:45,080 Speaker 1: to be more in control of what I'm subconsciously taking in. 606 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:48,560 Speaker 1: So whether that's meditation or sound baths or even sitting 607 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,200 Speaker 1: in the bathtub in silence, like trying to make sure 608 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:53,480 Speaker 1: that I'm doing those things for my nervous system in 609 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,560 Speaker 1: my brain to reset and not just letting someone else 610 00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:59,280 Speaker 1: control me all the time. Like when you've changed the 611 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:02,520 Speaker 1: narrative and you're to that that I'm giving my power 612 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:06,680 Speaker 1: away through these avenues, It's really interesting what it makes 613 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,200 Speaker 1: you want to do. So, whether you agree with what 614 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:13,160 Speaker 1: we said or not, maybe just take it into your 615 00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:17,239 Speaker 1: life as some sort of new outlook of I'm going 616 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:19,720 Speaker 1: to be more conscious of what I'm taking in and 617 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:23,560 Speaker 1: what I'm digesting, what I'm giving energy to, and see 618 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:26,160 Speaker 1: if that changes your outlook as well, because I'd be 619 00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:30,040 Speaker 1: really curious if we all like limited what we're ingesting 620 00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:32,640 Speaker 1: all the time, if our output would be different too. 621 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:36,200 Speaker 3: My hot take is that like by twenty thirty, we're 622 00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,280 Speaker 3: not going to have social media. I just think it's 623 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,720 Speaker 3: that I think it's on the downslide. I think books 624 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:43,360 Speaker 3: are going to come back oo. 625 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:45,920 Speaker 2: I think books are going to be the new social media. 626 00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:49,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe an audiobook even, There'll be new ways to 627 00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:51,520 Speaker 1: do it. I told you about that palm reader and 628 00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,760 Speaker 1: Bali told me that even cell phones and stuff are 629 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:55,200 Speaker 1: going away, and I was I mean, she might have 630 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:58,040 Speaker 1: more been talking about social media, but like access. She said, 631 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:01,840 Speaker 1: like we're not going to want it. Yeah, I'm on board. 632 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:03,960 Speaker 1: Well go check out this book. It's called Be the 633 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,120 Speaker 1: Sun Not the Salt. I'll put the link in the 634 00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,520 Speaker 1: description of this podcast. You can always email us at 635 00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:11,479 Speaker 1: the Edge at velvetedge dot com. I'm on Instagram at 636 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:12,719 Speaker 1: velvet Edge Chip. 637 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:16,440 Speaker 3: I'm at chip Doors its ch I P D O 638 00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:18,000 Speaker 3: R S C H. 639 00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:20,160 Speaker 1: And as you guys go into the weekend and you're 640 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,440 Speaker 1: living on the edge, I hope you always remember too 641 00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:30,440 Speaker 1: A let's start out casual. Let's just act casual. 642 00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:34,480 Speaker 3: Bye bye