WEBVTT - Trust Your Gut 0:00:00.520 --> 0:00:04.080 Oh h, I suck good dating with Dean, Vanessa and 0:00:04.160 --> 0:00:10.440 Jared and I heard radio podcast. Hey, welcome to an 0:00:10.440 --> 0:00:12.799 all new episode of Help by Second Dating. My name 0:00:12.960 --> 0:00:16.560 is Jared Haven. I am joined by the beautiful Vanessa Grimaldi. 0:00:16.760 --> 0:00:20.440 A ground of applause for Vanessa. We have Easton and 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:23.840 Mark in studio. Dean is still halfway across the world. 0:00:23.880 --> 0:00:25.640 Who the hell knows where that man is? And we're 0:00:25.640 --> 0:00:27.960 gonna have a dating expert, Susan from Betty who has 0:00:28.000 --> 0:00:30.400 been on the show before. She will be on a 0:00:30.480 --> 0:00:33.120 little bit later, but let's catch up with Vanessa. Vanessa, 0:00:33.360 --> 0:00:36.360 how's your life going? Are you dating Peter from The Bachelor? Ha? 0:00:36.560 --> 0:00:40.160 Ha straight to the point, Um, it's so funny. So 0:00:40.760 --> 0:00:44.040 I spoke about this with Dean. I think the week 0:00:44.120 --> 0:00:47.680 that Peter and I met in person, and it was 0:00:47.720 --> 0:00:50.280 a random encounter. He was in Seattle. I was in 0:00:50.360 --> 0:00:54.760 Seattle visiting Taylor Um from NIX season, and so we 0:00:54.840 --> 0:00:56.920 all went out one night to do a paint night. 0:00:56.960 --> 0:00:59.680 He came to join us because he had I don't 0:00:59.680 --> 0:01:01.760 think anyone to like hang out with then because it's 0:01:01.760 --> 0:01:04.120 flight got canceled or whatever. So we all hung out 0:01:04.160 --> 0:01:06.160 and obviously as soon as he posted a picture, it 0:01:06.200 --> 0:01:08.640 went viral, and everyone's like, the minute you post a 0:01:08.680 --> 0:01:14.000 picture of someone with the opposite gender, everyone starts assuming 0:01:14.080 --> 0:01:17.200 that you're automatically dating, and it's like, no, there's like 0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:20.160 zero romantic interest there, at least on I don't think 0:01:20.160 --> 0:01:24.880 on his end either. But well, I'm seeing Peter House 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:28.680 cross Crouse crowskying cross crossing. I think it's crowds k 0:01:29.000 --> 0:01:31.640 r a U S. Well, anytime you post a picture, 0:01:31.720 --> 0:01:33.920 like Vanessa said, with the opposite sex on Instagram, you 0:01:33.959 --> 0:01:37.560 immediately assume these two people are dating, specifically when you're 0:01:37.560 --> 0:01:40.959 from the Bachelor franchise. So I remember, I mean whenever 0:01:41.000 --> 0:01:43.400 I post a picture with Ashley, people would immediately assume 0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:46.440 that we were dating, or they would comment saying they'd 0:01:46.440 --> 0:01:48.520 want us to be together. But I would post pictures 0:01:48.600 --> 0:01:50.800 with other girls from the franchise too, and then people 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:52.720 would say the exact same thing. So I was a 0:01:52.760 --> 0:01:55.120 little confused on that. Well, I'm glad you cleared that up. 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:57.320 That's too bad that you guys aren't dating. That'd be 0:01:57.320 --> 0:01:59.760 a really great story, especially for this podcast. But that's okay, 0:02:00.560 --> 0:02:03.000 that's okay. Speaking of Bachelor people, I saw that you 0:02:03.000 --> 0:02:05.240 were in Vegas with my I Want and Only X 0:02:05.320 --> 0:02:09.200 from the Bachelor? Are you speaking about a man named Nick? 0:02:10.720 --> 0:02:13.000 I am speaking of a man named Nick. Well, obviously 0:02:13.120 --> 0:02:15.639 Nick and I are good friends. And I was in 0:02:15.720 --> 0:02:18.919 Vegas this past weekend because randomly enough I was part 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:22.280 of the Chippendale show. I saw that. So how did that? 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:25.240 How did that work? Did they contact you? So? Long 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:28.799 story short. A while ago, I got offered to be 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:30.280 a part of the Chip and Dale show. They reached 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:33.920 out to me, and they were interested to have Ashley 0:02:33.960 --> 0:02:36.520 in the audience and then me a part of the show, 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:39.440 kind of have it almost like a gimmicky thing, you know, 0:02:39.560 --> 0:02:42.360 like host a Bachelor night type thing. And I was 0:02:42.440 --> 0:02:45.040 very interested in it because I have a hard time 0:02:45.080 --> 0:02:47.560 saying no to anything because I only live once and 0:02:47.639 --> 0:02:48.960 I really want to do as much as I can. 0:02:49.040 --> 0:02:52.040 And now on my desk, you know, right before I die, 0:02:52.080 --> 0:02:54.440 I can say, hey, you know what, I was a 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:57.000 part of a Chippendale show. Um, but it was cool. 0:02:57.040 --> 0:02:59.320 So we went there and I wanted Tanner and Jade 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:01.560 to come to because I wanted kind of I wanted 0:03:01.560 --> 0:03:04.200 my friends there. I wanted people for not on moral support, 0:03:04.240 --> 0:03:06.320 but also so they could just make fun of me 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:08.960 and ridicule me throughout the entire experience. Uh, and it 0:03:09.040 --> 0:03:10.760 was a lot of fun. We went to Vegas and 0:03:10.880 --> 0:03:14.799 I did a little hurstal beforehand. UH did some dance 0:03:14.880 --> 0:03:17.840 choreography very shortly. They didn't let me do as much 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:21.200 as I wanted to, um, because they were actually really cool. 0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:24.160 They didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable in any way. 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:26.160 But it was cool to get up on stage. I 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:28.080 was wearing the bow tie and the cuffs and I 0:03:28.080 --> 0:03:30.120 had my shirt off, so before I went up there, 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:32.359 I didn't I didn't fast, but I was trying to 0:03:32.400 --> 0:03:35.160 get my body ready. So about two weeks before we 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:37.320 went to Vegas, I was trying to eat as healthy 0:03:37.360 --> 0:03:39.400 as possible as working out every day. I got my 0:03:39.440 --> 0:03:44.120 first ever spray tan, which was quite an experience. I 0:03:44.160 --> 0:03:46.000 was nervous I was gonna turn orange, but it actually 0:03:46.000 --> 0:03:50.880 turned out really nicely. And No, I went to a 0:03:50.920 --> 0:03:56.080 spray tan salon and I think Beverly Hills. You went 0:03:56.120 --> 0:03:58.160 all the way. You actually got a professionally done Oh 0:03:58.200 --> 0:04:00.320 hell yeah. But it was weird because I was inspecting 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:02.280 in the spray tann salon. I've never gotten one but 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:06.800 I was expecting a machine to spray me. But no, no, 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:09.400 there was There was a girl that I was just 0:04:09.520 --> 0:04:13.040 in boxers and she sprayed my entire body right. There 0:04:13.080 --> 0:04:15.560 was a very intimate experience. I had a similar experience 0:04:15.560 --> 0:04:16.880 the first time I did it too. What did you 0:04:16.920 --> 0:04:18.320 get a spray tan for? I did it when and 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:23.719 I went on my hendymo into Hawaii. That's so sweet. 0:04:23.800 --> 0:04:26.800 And uh, my dad is a bodybuilder and I used 0:04:26.800 --> 0:04:30.120 to help out with his spray t hands. Uh as 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:32.480 I told the girl working there about it, and she 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:34.000 was like, oh, what machine did you use? And I 0:04:34.080 --> 0:04:36.440 was like, I just use a paintbrush and wait, did 0:04:36.440 --> 0:04:39.279 you do yourself? I used to help with my dad 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:41.320 with the hard reach spots on his back and everything. 0:04:41.880 --> 0:04:44.840 How old were you? I was like ten eleven. Yeah, 0:04:44.880 --> 0:04:49.760 I didn't exists back then. Oh it's a time honored tradition. 0:04:49.800 --> 0:04:52.400 It goes back a long way. I don't mean to hijack, 0:04:52.480 --> 0:04:54.880 but spray tanning is an intimate thing to do with somebody, 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:57.840 very intimate. Was just a room and actually, Vanessa, your 0:04:57.880 --> 0:05:00.479 ex Nick was in the room with me. He came 0:05:01.040 --> 0:05:04.080 because he got spray tan almost every week for dancing 0:05:04.200 --> 0:05:06.320 that's what he said, because I was asking advice about it, 0:05:06.480 --> 0:05:08.040 and uh, he was like, well, I got a spray 0:05:08.040 --> 0:05:09.520 tan pretty much every week when I was on Dancing 0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:11.880 with the Stars. Um, but it was cool. It was 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:13.760 I wanted to be tam because I didn't want to 0:05:13.800 --> 0:05:16.640 go up on stage and have people be blinded by 0:05:16.800 --> 0:05:20.080 my paleness, and so it was fun. I love being 0:05:20.120 --> 0:05:22.640 on stage, so being on stage with the other Chippendale dancers, 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:24.520 they were super cool. I thought these guys were going 0:05:24.560 --> 0:05:29.040 to be super bros and just like pretty much annexed 0:05:29.080 --> 0:05:31.200 me out of the group and be like, who's this guy. 0:05:31.240 --> 0:05:33.680 Who's he think he is? But they were super welcoming, 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:37.600 super warm. Yeah, that's why I was. I was expecting 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:39.200 it to be like a click. You know, especially these 0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:41.960 Chippendale dancers. They're jack they're ripped, they have women all 0:05:42.000 --> 0:05:44.200 over them, so you expect them to have a pretty 0:05:44.200 --> 0:05:46.400 big ego. But a lot of them were super down earth, 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:50.400 super welcoming, super nice and going on stage, they made 0:05:50.400 --> 0:05:54.080 me feel very comfortable. At the finale was when I 0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:55.960 had to go out on stage with my shirt off 0:05:55.960 --> 0:05:58.000 and just the bowtime cuffs and there was like a 0:05:58.040 --> 0:06:02.480 little dance number that they do. Do you have underwear? 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:08.160 I had pants on? That I had? I had pants on. Yeah, 0:06:08.200 --> 0:06:10.279 I was just free willing it out there, just the 0:06:10.279 --> 0:06:13.800 bow tie. Um. But it was it was they have 0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:15.440 like a little dance number, and my thing. I was 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:16.880 supposed to just go to the front of stage and 0:06:16.880 --> 0:06:19.440 like lift my fist. But then I looked around me 0:06:19.480 --> 0:06:21.800 and I noticed that the steps were pretty simple that 0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:23.960 they were doing. So I was like, I can do that, guys, 0:06:24.000 --> 0:06:25.520 if you just give me like two or three times 0:06:25.520 --> 0:06:27.560 of practice, I can do that. So I ended up 0:06:27.560 --> 0:06:30.360 practicing with him getting getting the dance steps down. And 0:06:30.440 --> 0:06:31.960 it was cool because one of the guys next to me, 0:06:32.000 --> 0:06:34.039 he gave me like a little cue. So when the 0:06:34.040 --> 0:06:36.680 beat was about to drop, when they started doing their moves, 0:06:36.760 --> 0:06:38.479 he was he was gonna be like, Okay, I'm gonna 0:06:38.560 --> 0:06:40.760 yell here we go. So as soon as I heard 0:06:40.800 --> 0:06:43.479 here we go, that's when I knew, okay, right left 0:06:43.680 --> 0:06:46.760 out up boom, and so it was fun. I had 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:49.520 a I had a blast. Even actually noticed, oh, there 0:06:49.520 --> 0:06:52.560 it is right there, that's me. I saw. It's it's 0:06:52.600 --> 0:06:54.880 on It's out on YouTube, and I recommend everybody to 0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:57.240 google it. I've only seen you with clothes on. I 0:06:57.240 --> 0:06:59.440 didn't realize that you're actually in really good shape. I'm 0:06:59.520 --> 0:07:02.960 really good. Appreciate you blend right in with the guys. 0:07:03.000 --> 0:07:06.640 I I blended in more than I anticipated. The only 0:07:06.680 --> 0:07:08.479 thing is they don't have hair on their chests, and 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:11.400 obviously I'm a very hairy man. Not very hairy, but 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:14.559 on the chest. Okay, but it looks good. Yeah, thanks buddy, 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:16.800 I appreciate it. I I didn't fast like I said 0:07:16.840 --> 0:07:18.400 for two weeks, but I worked out as much as 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:23.400 I possibly could. And the day before I barely ate anything. Uh, 0:07:23.440 --> 0:07:24.920 and I didn't I tried not to drink a lot 0:07:24.960 --> 0:07:27.200 of water because I wanted I didn't want to be bloated. 0:07:27.720 --> 0:07:29.480 And then it was funny because when we first got 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:32.400 on stage, I had my clothes on and we did 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:33.960 a little bit of a game show where I had 0:07:34.000 --> 0:07:36.600 to judge lap dances. So we called three women from 0:07:36.600 --> 0:07:39.240 the audience up on stage, and I was, uh like 0:07:39.320 --> 0:07:41.880 the director who had to judge each lap dance and 0:07:41.960 --> 0:07:46.040 hand out a rose to whoever won. I know, of course, 0:07:46.480 --> 0:07:48.920 you know, you got to involve roses somehow. And then 0:07:49.000 --> 0:07:51.520 I went backstage and I wasn't on until the finale, 0:07:51.560 --> 0:07:53.160 which was like a half hour later, which would be 0:07:53.200 --> 0:07:54.840 the first time that I didn't have my shirt on. 0:07:55.160 --> 0:07:58.040 And in my dressing room there were weights. So for 0:07:58.080 --> 0:08:01.160 the half hour, I am lifting weights in my room 0:08:01.280 --> 0:08:04.800 by myself, like sweating, and then they had it wasn't 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:07.000 baby oil, but it was some sort of tanning oil. 0:08:07.240 --> 0:08:10.000 So I lude myself up with that to make myself 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:12.680 as shiny as possible because that adds a little definition, 0:08:12.680 --> 0:08:15.520 whether you believe it or not. And just even tan 0:08:15.720 --> 0:08:19.000 adds definition. You automatically feel like ten times better when 0:08:19.040 --> 0:08:21.680 you're a little bit you know, darker. Oh totally. So 0:08:21.680 --> 0:08:22.960 that's why I made sure I had a tan, I 0:08:22.960 --> 0:08:24.800 had the oil on. I was getting my last little 0:08:24.880 --> 0:08:26.560 pump in. I didn't drink any water, and then I 0:08:26.560 --> 0:08:31.160 walked downstairs and I was apparently really shiny, and uh, 0:08:31.240 --> 0:08:33.440 one of the Chip and Dale dancers like, well, I 0:08:33.480 --> 0:08:35.280 see you got the oil on and Eastern you just 0:08:35.280 --> 0:08:38.000 sent me a very nice picture of myself, uh, from 0:08:38.120 --> 0:08:40.440 stage with my fist in the air, very proud. You 0:08:40.440 --> 0:08:41.760 know what it was. I've always wanted to be in 0:08:41.760 --> 0:08:43.240 a boy band and felt I felt like I was 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:47.520 in the back. Everyone has like a sexual face on 0:08:47.600 --> 0:08:51.640 Jared was like, I was so proud, like I did it. 0:08:52.040 --> 0:08:55.000 I did it? You guys, I mean that white built though. 0:08:55.040 --> 0:08:57.480 Was that your decision because that's questionable? No, no, no no, no, 0:08:57.679 --> 0:08:59.920 that's like their uniforms. So at the end they all 0:09:00.000 --> 0:09:03.440 wear black jeans with that white belt and white shoes. Um. 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:05.800 So they gave me the jeans and the belt. Yeah, 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:08.720 I don't own that white belt. Pak you Vanessa with 0:09:08.800 --> 0:09:11.960 the huge silver buckle, Um, it'd be a good look though. 0:09:12.000 --> 0:09:14.640 I'd wear it now. Bo is cool. They gave me 0:09:14.679 --> 0:09:16.760 some silver airs, they gave me the bow tie cuffs 0:09:16.800 --> 0:09:21.040 to wear, and and then I they gave me like 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:25.280 these American flag boxers. It was a great experience. I 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:27.880 loved every second of it. I have a question for you, 0:09:28.120 --> 0:09:30.840 So this could be t M I, but do you 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:36.040 like role play in my personal life? Yeah? I'm not 0:09:36.160 --> 0:09:41.199 a huge role play guy. I after this experience, you 0:09:41.280 --> 0:09:44.199 might just show up. I hope you did you want 0:09:44.320 --> 0:09:46.520 Did you ever watch Sex in the City where some 0:09:46.640 --> 0:09:49.240 matha lies down naked with sushi rolls all over her 0:09:49.240 --> 0:09:53.640 body into the house. Maybe you're gonna show up like 0:09:53.720 --> 0:09:55.959 half naked with those boxers and ash She's gonna walk 0:09:55.960 --> 0:09:58.480 in one day and there was like stripper music in 0:09:58.480 --> 0:10:02.040 the background. I mean, you move with that belt. I'm 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:03.520 not going to say that. I want to do a 0:10:03.520 --> 0:10:07.080 little magic mic number for Ashley in the privacy of 0:10:07.120 --> 0:10:10.079 our home. I may also have a pair of boxers 0:10:10.160 --> 0:10:13.200 that are tuxedo so they have like a bow tie 0:10:13.240 --> 0:10:16.440 on the front of them, which are very classy if 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:19.079 I may say so myself. Um, but I'm not huge 0:10:19.080 --> 0:10:23.480 into role play. I'm more of, uh, how do I 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:28.560 put it. I'm more of like a passionate, passionate man. Yeah, 0:10:29.800 --> 0:10:33.640 I'm very passionate. But sometimes like my imagination runs like 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:36.680 in so many different colors, So sometimes I'm like, I 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:38.920 want to pretend to be this person, and I'm like 0:10:39.120 --> 0:10:42.400 randomly surprised the person I'm dating as like them suits, 0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:45.079 and I'll be like hello Mr So and so walking 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:48.160 through my well. This obviously begs the question, was the 0:10:48.200 --> 0:10:52.920 craziest thing you've ever dressed up as? Oh? Me? Oh? 0:10:53.000 --> 0:10:56.480 Who me? Who are you talking to? Think I'm talking to? Yeah, Easton, 0:10:56.520 --> 0:10:58.360 what's the craziest thing you've dressed up as? A lot 0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:01.800 of costumes? The the craziest thing I've ever dressed up 0:11:01.840 --> 0:11:06.040 as um. I mean a messius is pretty good. Yeah, 0:11:06.360 --> 0:11:08.679 And I don't think anything crazy. I like the realistic 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:11.439 idea of like, oh, I'm a baker, Well can I 0:11:11.559 --> 0:11:16.240 thank you today? Village people? Have you ever been the 0:11:16.960 --> 0:11:20.439 dirty little school teacher? No, because I feel like that's 0:11:20.559 --> 0:11:23.760 way too like, you know, I'm a school teacher. That's 0:11:23.800 --> 0:11:28.480 way too much. That's fair. Yeah, Nope, nope, not not 0:11:28.480 --> 0:11:31.440 not going that. All right, that's what could you do? 0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:34.160 A teacher and a parent conference? Like could that be 0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:40.600 a scenario? Mark? Yes, Now we're talking for the next 0:11:40.600 --> 0:11:42.960 person they date. Hold on, So you tell me that 0:11:43.040 --> 0:11:45.920 being faking being like a dirty teacher is too much, 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:50.720 but a parent teacher conference isn't. I've never role played that, 0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:55.400 but I think it's I think it's important to be um, 0:11:55.559 --> 0:12:00.200 to explore when you're really comfortable with someone. And I mean, 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:02.559 the longest relationship I've ever had was two years and 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:05.320 a half, and within those two years, we were very 0:12:05.320 --> 0:12:09.160 comfortable with each other and we I feel like I'm 0:12:09.200 --> 0:12:11.760 getting into way too much detail right now, but basically, 0:12:11.840 --> 0:12:14.280 all this to say is I'm not against it if 0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:17.800 it's done safely and if it's done in a respectful manner. 0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:21.400 I love every second of it. I'm a big lingerie guy. 0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:24.280 I'm not gonna lie that I'm not. I'm like, I'm 0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:30.800 gonna work cocked in granny panties and what mark you're 0:12:30.840 --> 0:12:32.600 shaking your head over there? You're not a not a 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:36.040 I'm not a lingerie guy. Know? Interesting? No? I I 0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:40.559 how do I phrase this? Yeah? Um, I think that 0:12:40.559 --> 0:12:45.199 that's unnecessary. Yeah, I don't think it's necessary. But just 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:49.160 like role play isn't necessary, it's a it's it's fun. 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:52.559 So I'm um, it's so expensive being a female. Like 0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:54.559 the other day obviously, it was like I had to 0:12:54.600 --> 0:12:56.520 go to pharmacy. It was the day of the month, 0:12:56.920 --> 0:12:59.359 and I'm like, it's so expensive. I have to buy tampons, 0:12:59.480 --> 0:13:02.520 and then I have to think of like you know, 0:13:02.800 --> 0:13:06.480 women who are on birth control. Um, that's expensive every 0:13:06.520 --> 0:13:08.719 month too, And then I have to buy the lingerie, 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:10.440 and then I have to shave my legs and I 0:13:10.480 --> 0:13:12.360 have you know, there's all these things that women need 0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:16.880 to do in order for what we think is what 0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:20.440 men are looking for. Well, I'm assuming the lingerie would 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:22.160 be for a guy you're in a relationship with, so 0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:24.600 it might be the guy's responsibility to buy the lingerie 0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:27.880 he wants to see you in. Okay, there we go. Then, yes, 0:13:28.120 --> 0:13:31.040 I don't. I don't buy myself lingerie. Yeah that's fair. 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:35.920 I can understand that I've bought money that's basically not 0:13:36.040 --> 0:13:39.440 going to stay on for long. Yeah. But that's the 0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:41.680 best part about it is that it's it's not meant 0:13:41.720 --> 0:13:43.960 to be on for long. I always had a rule, 0:13:44.040 --> 0:13:45.320 So who do you think of this? I always had 0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:47.679 a rule before I was married that I would never 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:50.480 buy a girlfriend lingerie because that would be then worn 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:54.040 in the future with a different guy. Oh and that 0:13:54.120 --> 0:13:56.520 always bothered me. Now that I'm married, it's no problem 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:59.559 and whatever. But by the time that was rule. Is 0:13:59.559 --> 0:14:01.720 that a rule or is that? Am I being facility? 0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:03.839 I guess I never thought that far ahead. Well, you're 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:07.280 engaged now, so you're done. Oh yeah, I would buy Ashley. 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:09.320 I have bought Ashley laundry. I'm not afraid of Have 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:18.800 you bought previous girlfriends LAUNDERI okay, but that smiles dared. Uh, 0:14:19.000 --> 0:14:22.280 let's see, that's a toughie. I gotta go back in 0:14:22.320 --> 0:14:26.280 the old journal anyway. Moving on, Um and Vanessa, do 0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:29.720 you have lingerie that previous boyfriends have bought you. I've 0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:34.720 no no boyfriend has ever bought me launder right, granny panty. 0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:37.080 I don't believe for one second that you only wear 0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:41.760 granny panties. No, listen, I'm I literally when I go 0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:43.680 to bed, these are my padamas right now. Like it's 0:14:43.720 --> 0:14:45.800 an army top and that's what I'll show up in 0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:48.880 and like some old baggy pants that have a holes 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:51.160 in it. I'm not sexy when I go to bed, 0:14:51.280 --> 0:14:53.480 like I'm not, and I don't. I don't feel like 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:55.320 you know, obviously every once in a while. That's why 0:14:55.320 --> 0:14:57.480 I'm like the whole idea of role plays exciting because 0:14:57.520 --> 0:15:00.520 I get to like be this character and you know, 0:15:01.360 --> 0:15:06.040 but when it comes to that that part, I don't. 0:15:06.080 --> 0:15:08.000 I just don't feel like I have to put in 0:15:08.040 --> 0:15:11.280 that extra. It's really bad to say. No, I'm not 0:15:11.320 --> 0:15:14.520 saying every day, this is a very limited like hey, 0:15:14.720 --> 0:15:17.320 special date night, I'm gonna get dressed up. You should 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:19.760 get dressed up to and let's do something you shouldn't 0:15:19.760 --> 0:15:21.760 wear lingerie every day. I do have a question though, 0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:25.640 about women's underwear. H Is there like I feel like 0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:28.200 in every teen movie I've seen. There's like the one 0:15:28.280 --> 0:15:30.560 pair of underwear that women wear that like it's like 0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:34.160 black lace that that that's like the one they're gonna 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:38.000 wear on the big night? Is that true on the 0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:40.280 big night? Like the day? Do you have like a 0:15:40.320 --> 0:15:43.800 pair like you're like, if I ever want to go out, 0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:47.640 like if I might be seen in these, I'm wearing these. Um. 0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:49.640 I think it's like a pair of underwear that every 0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:53.400 woman feels very sexy in. Um. But that's like a 0:15:53.560 --> 0:15:56.360 pair of booty shorts or like booty you know, like 0:15:56.480 --> 0:15:58.880 u is shoes, a little bit of the butt cheek 0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:02.480 or yeah, something where you feel like you feel good 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:07.520 at you know, But it doesn't necessarily mean that it's 0:16:07.560 --> 0:16:09.760 going to end up being that kind of night. It 0:16:09.800 --> 0:16:12.400 can also give you that boost of confidence when you're like, oh, 0:16:12.440 --> 0:16:14.840 I'm where am I like my nice bro my matching 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:17.080 underwear on broad tonight and I'm going to go out 0:16:17.160 --> 0:16:20.120 and have fun and talk to a guy. No, you 0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:22.960 never planned for it to happen, but you just prepare 0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:24.920 for it just in case that's the big Do you 0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:27.320 do the opposite? Do you wear granny panties to ensure 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:29.400 that it won't go any farther than you're planning on going. 0:16:30.120 --> 0:16:36.080 I like, won't shave for a month. That's my strategy. Well, 0:16:36.080 --> 0:16:38.000 you know, Susan's our guest today. She'd be good to 0:16:38.000 --> 0:16:39.680 wait on some of these topics. Let's get her in 0:16:39.720 --> 0:16:42.120 here in a minute to weigh in. But before Susan 0:16:42.120 --> 0:16:44.080 comes in, I do want to talk about something that 0:16:44.080 --> 0:16:46.240 we've been talking about the podcast for weeks now, and 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:49.440 that is the Amazon Fire TV. The Amazon vir TV. 0:16:49.520 --> 0:16:52.400 You guys have heard about it. Amazon fire TV brings 0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:55.080 all the live and streaming content you love to the 0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:57.480 biggest screen in your house. You can watch everything you 0:16:57.560 --> 0:17:00.960 love with access to Netflix, Prime Video, Hulu, and so 0:17:01.040 --> 0:17:03.800 much more. You can even watch YouTube videos and access 0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:07.320 websites like Reddit and Facebook on the Fire TV. From 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:10.640 makeup tutorials to memorizing cake icing videos to the new 0:17:10.720 --> 0:17:13.199 drama that's all the buzz. Whatever you're into, it's on 0:17:13.320 --> 0:17:15.880 fire TV. Watching YouTube is all about you, and when 0:17:15.880 --> 0:17:17.800 it's on the big screen the Fire TV, it's ultimate 0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:20.640 mix of entertainment and relaxation. I gotta minute. I watch 0:17:20.720 --> 0:17:22.920 watch Mojo a lot. Do you guys watch that YouTube 0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:25.880 channel that it's like a top ten list, But it's 0:17:25.920 --> 0:17:29.159 it's mainly about film, but also incorporates different aspects of 0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:33.400 music pop culture. But it's like do I I watch 0:17:33.480 --> 0:17:36.600 it for hours on end, but I've been you know, 0:17:36.680 --> 0:17:38.920 I've also been watching The Good Play, so I've talked 0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:41.800 about that. Actually that's Ashley's choice. My choice is Barry 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:45.000 on hbo UM. So you know, as you get engaged, 0:17:45.040 --> 0:17:47.480 you compromise. But we're watching that with the and the 0:17:47.520 --> 0:17:50.600 Amazon Fire TV and if you have Alexa, all you 0:17:50.600 --> 0:17:53.400 have to do is say Alexa open YouTube and then 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:56.320 you can watch your favorite YouTube channel. Like in a 0:17:56.400 --> 0:17:58.560 nutshell for me, it's watched Mojo. You can watch it 0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:01.840 right on your TV screen. What's better than that. It's 0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:03.560 better than watching on your laptop, I can tell you 0:18:03.600 --> 0:18:05.679 that much, or squinting into your phone. If you have 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:08.000 an iPhone seven like myself, I really need to upgrade 0:18:08.000 --> 0:18:10.000 because every time I'm watched on the screen, I'm pretty 0:18:10.000 --> 0:18:12.720 sure I go a little bit more blind. And if 0:18:12.720 --> 0:18:15.679 that wasn't enough, you can even listen to this podcast 0:18:15.800 --> 0:18:17.800 right now. You can listen to the music all with 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:20.600 the I Heart Radio app on Fire TV. All you 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:23.480 have to do is head to Amazon dot com Slash 0:18:23.680 --> 0:18:28.480 I Suck podcast again. That's Amazon dot com Slash I 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:32.360 Suck podcast to order a fire TV of your very own, 0:18:32.680 --> 0:18:35.240 and they make great gifts for the friends and family 0:18:35.280 --> 0:18:37.760 during the holiday season. Guys, once again. To get the 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:42.639 fire TV, go to Amazon dot com Slash I Suck Podcast. 0:18:43.520 --> 0:18:45.760 The other day, I got a talk text from when 0:18:45.760 --> 0:18:49.080 I best his friend. She lived in Toronto, so she 0:18:49.119 --> 0:18:51.280 doesn't see me every day, and she was trying to 0:18:51.320 --> 0:18:53.720 figure out what to buy me for Christmas. And she's like, 0:18:53.760 --> 0:18:55.359 you got You travel so much and they keep seeing 0:18:55.359 --> 0:18:57.240 your Instagram stories and I see you like in this 0:18:57.359 --> 0:19:02.040 really like comfortable, like cozy leggings and um, it looks 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:03.800 like you're working out, but you're traveling with them. And 0:19:03.800 --> 0:19:06.080 she's like, what are they? And I'm like their outdoor voices. 0:19:06.119 --> 0:19:09.800 So it's this company that I discovered. They are the 0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:18.680 most comfortable, affordable, cozy, trendy leggings and tops that I 0:19:19.560 --> 0:19:22.640 can possibly like. I love them so much. But it's 0:19:22.680 --> 0:19:26.080 not only for workout. You can also travel with them 0:19:26.200 --> 0:19:28.160 or if you're doing your holiday shopping like my friend 0:19:28.200 --> 0:19:31.600 is in Toronto. Um, shopping right now during the holidays 0:19:31.840 --> 0:19:34.359 is quite a sport. I don't know about you scared, 0:19:34.440 --> 0:19:39.880 But do you like to wear cozy things when you shop? Uh? Well, 0:19:39.920 --> 0:19:42.359 of course, I mean usually I wear jeans. And actually, 0:19:42.440 --> 0:19:44.240 Ashley makes fun of me all the time because I'm 0:19:44.240 --> 0:19:45.800 the type of guy that will wear jeans anytime I 0:19:45.840 --> 0:19:49.160 go out or if I'm on a plane or traveling anywhere. 0:19:49.440 --> 0:19:51.520 So I really need to kind of like expand my 0:19:51.600 --> 0:19:54.560 horizon on sweatpants because Ashley pretty much doesn't leave the 0:19:54.560 --> 0:19:58.080 house unless she's wearing sweatpants. But yeah, traveling a lot, 0:19:58.240 --> 0:20:01.080 I need to get more comfortable. Uh. And also just 0:20:01.200 --> 0:20:03.880 as a guy's perspective in terms of the outdoor voices 0:20:03.960 --> 0:20:07.480 leggings that you're talking about, big yes on that one 0:20:07.560 --> 0:20:11.720 thumbs up. Ashley has a pair and they're very uh 0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:14.880 form fitting. Let me say they really are. So that's 0:20:14.880 --> 0:20:17.560 the thing. They have the signature textured compression that hugs 0:20:17.560 --> 0:20:20.040 and sculps and supports you while you're hiking or dogging 0:20:20.080 --> 0:20:22.640 or running through the shopping mall. I'm always in them, 0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:25.520 I'm always wearing them. They're super comfortable, um, and they're 0:20:25.520 --> 0:20:29.720 made with really like this amazing fabric um and they 0:20:29.920 --> 0:20:32.159 just look amazing. Right now, I'm obsessed with these new 0:20:32.240 --> 0:20:34.159 legings that I just got out. Their two tones, like 0:20:34.160 --> 0:20:37.360 the two tone three tone leggings really um and I 0:20:37.480 --> 0:20:39.360 especially love because I feel like I have short legs. 0:20:39.400 --> 0:20:42.239 If you buy three quarter length, um, they make your 0:20:42.320 --> 0:20:45.640 legs if you're longer. So they're the tech sweat three 0:20:45.680 --> 0:20:49.280 quarter two tone leggings there could they're the Coyote atmosphere color. 0:20:49.320 --> 0:20:51.399 They're like kind of like white and beige, which I 0:20:51.440 --> 0:20:53.240 think is like really nice for like this time of 0:20:53.240 --> 0:20:56.159 the year. Vanessa, you have short legs, I feel like 0:20:56.160 --> 0:20:57.639 I have. Sure, I'm five with three right, so I 0:20:57.640 --> 0:20:59.480 feel like if I wear leggings that go all the 0:20:59.520 --> 0:21:02.040 way down to my ankles and makes my legs look shorter, 0:21:02.400 --> 0:21:04.440 but if I wear three I'm obsessed with three quarter 0:21:04.520 --> 0:21:07.520 length leggings. So these are my new favorite obsession. Um 0:21:07.560 --> 0:21:09.600 and even have like this other tone where it's like 0:21:09.640 --> 0:21:14.680 blue and black. UM. So Outdoor Voices, I love them. 0:21:14.840 --> 0:21:17.240 I live in them, I travel with them, I work 0:21:17.320 --> 0:21:21.320 out in them. They make high quality active apparel that's 0:21:21.359 --> 0:21:25.040 perfect for gym life or everyday life. They're they're fashionable 0:21:25.600 --> 0:21:28.000 UM and they're all about integrating fun into everything that 0:21:28.040 --> 0:21:31.360 they do. So the Outdoor Voices clothing line is engineered 0:21:31.400 --> 0:21:34.640 for performance and designed for having fun, with a fabric 0:21:35.160 --> 0:21:37.960 offered for every single type of activity that you do. 0:21:38.080 --> 0:21:41.400 Like I said, they have the signature textured compression that 0:21:41.920 --> 0:21:45.600 basically makes you look like your toned and it's nice 0:21:45.600 --> 0:21:48.399 and tight and you're sculpted. So even when you're traveling 0:21:48.440 --> 0:21:50.199 or if you're shopping around or whatever. I mean, it's 0:21:50.240 --> 0:21:51.760 a great way to meet people when you're doing your 0:21:51.800 --> 0:21:55.400 groceries and sweats, right, it's the best. It's the best way, 0:21:55.480 --> 0:21:57.399 and it does make a woman. It does make women 0:21:57.440 --> 0:21:59.840 look very tone. It's very nice for a guy. I've 0:22:00.000 --> 0:22:02.280 had a lot of compliment on jogger pants as of late, 0:22:02.320 --> 0:22:05.680 so I've been expanding my horizon on the whole fashion sense, 0:22:05.800 --> 0:22:08.359 trying to really upgrade my game on that one. So 0:22:08.400 --> 0:22:10.560 I got a pair of the bone color wreck Trek 0:22:10.680 --> 0:22:14.400 jogger and Ashleley loves them. Yeah, I'm I'm a big 0:22:14.400 --> 0:22:17.119 geographan now geograph pants. They're in there the way to 0:22:17.160 --> 0:22:19.840 go and the bone color sounds intense, but they're they're 0:22:19.840 --> 0:22:23.119 pretty awesome. I'm not gonna lie. And they're comfortable now 0:22:23.359 --> 0:22:25.280 and if you're working out, they have the tech wet 0:22:25.280 --> 0:22:27.240 t M, which is a cool to touch material that 0:22:27.520 --> 0:22:30.120 basically like wixed away sweat, and he keeps you dry 0:22:30.200 --> 0:22:32.880 during high intensity workout. So it's great if you're working out. 0:22:33.160 --> 0:22:36.040 It's great if you're just doing everyday things like shopping 0:22:36.280 --> 0:22:38.840 or going to the grocery store. So you can get 0:22:39.880 --> 0:22:42.200 off your first order of a hundred dollars or more. 0:22:42.280 --> 0:22:44.840 All you have to do is visit outdoor Voices dot com, 0:22:44.960 --> 0:22:48.040 slash help and enter help. That's outdoor Voices dot com 0:22:48.080 --> 0:22:52.200 slash h E L P. Outdoor Voices believe that harder, faster, 0:22:52.359 --> 0:22:56.240 stronger is not necessarily always better, so they design gear 0:22:56.359 --> 0:23:00.400 for doing things like shopping and having fun and right 0:23:01.800 --> 0:23:04.320 lounging around so you seriously don't want to miss a 0:23:04.359 --> 0:23:07.879 special offer. Again, it's off your first order of a 0:23:07.920 --> 0:23:11.160 hundred dollars or more when you visit Outdoor Voices dot 0:23:11.160 --> 0:23:14.840 com slash help and enter help H E LP And again, 0:23:15.119 --> 0:23:18.200 I'm obsessed with these leggings Tech Sweat three quarter lane 0:23:18.359 --> 0:23:21.919 two tone leggings coyote and atmosphere white and beige. I 0:23:21.960 --> 0:23:24.320 think they're sexy and I think, um, maybe you should 0:23:24.359 --> 0:23:27.320 get askally this for Christmas. Oh you think I already 0:23:27.320 --> 0:23:30.320 haven't come on now, you're such a good boyfriend. Well, 0:23:30.320 --> 0:23:34.840 I'm technically a fiance, but I got you. Thanks for 0:23:35.080 --> 0:23:38.919 reminding me. I'm still single. Joining us in studio is 0:23:38.920 --> 0:23:42.280 the relationship expert, Susan, trim Betty. Susan, thank you so 0:23:42.359 --> 0:23:44.760 much for joining us. Oh, thank you for having It's 0:23:44.800 --> 0:23:46.840 our pleasure. Did I say your last name correctly? Yes, 0:23:46.840 --> 0:23:49.040 you did, trim Betty. Oh. Perfect. I was studying all 0:23:49.119 --> 0:23:51.960 night about it, So, Susan, we were actually just having 0:23:51.960 --> 0:23:54.520 a discussion with S and I about laingerie and role 0:23:54.560 --> 0:23:56.480 play in the bedroom. I don't know how comfortable you 0:23:56.520 --> 0:23:57.960 are we're talking about that. I don't know if you 0:23:57.960 --> 0:23:59.720 had any for you want to talk about? Perfect? So 0:23:59.720 --> 0:24:01.520 what is your advice about that? Do you think couples 0:24:01.520 --> 0:24:04.120 should do that? I think to each his own right, 0:24:04.160 --> 0:24:07.640 so when I actually do matchmaking as well. So what 0:24:07.680 --> 0:24:09.800 I say is, you know I can't get into bed 0:24:09.880 --> 0:24:12.640 with you. So if you have any questions, and I've 0:24:12.640 --> 0:24:14.800 heard some really wild questions, you know, feel free to 0:24:14.840 --> 0:24:16.560 ask me. If I don't know, I'll find out. I'll 0:24:16.560 --> 0:24:19.639 ask around, right, But yeah, I mean, hey, whatever floats 0:24:19.640 --> 0:24:22.840 your boat if you if you like lingerie for four play. 0:24:22.920 --> 0:24:27.000 I mean, yeah, whatever exactly now you said talk about that. 0:24:27.040 --> 0:24:29.560 How early in the dating process did you start talking 0:24:29.600 --> 0:24:33.040 about stuff like that? Are we talking about my personal life? No? No, no, no, 0:24:33.040 --> 0:24:36.639 no no no, just in general. Well, I think, like, 0:24:38.280 --> 0:24:40.600 you know, I think you have to be exclusive before 0:24:40.600 --> 0:24:43.280 you go there, right, Otherwise you're never going to get 0:24:43.280 --> 0:24:46.360 into a relationship because like what guy isn't gonna be like, yeah, 0:24:46.400 --> 0:24:49.200 please dress out play you know, play like your nurse. 0:24:49.320 --> 0:24:51.840 I mean they all love nurses, right because they're so caring. 0:24:52.040 --> 0:24:54.320 So if you can get like in a little shirt outfit, right. So, 0:24:54.359 --> 0:24:56.640 but I think you have to be exclusive and then 0:24:56.680 --> 0:24:58.280 you can talk about it, right, whatever you want to 0:24:58.320 --> 0:25:00.720 talk about, okay, perfect? Well, which to get your two 0:25:00.720 --> 0:25:04.960 cents on that? What do you visit? Well? Yeah, I 0:25:05.160 --> 0:25:09.479 I'm very I believe that we're all wired very differently. 0:25:09.520 --> 0:25:12.879 Some people are more into the exclusive type of relationships. Um, 0:25:12.920 --> 0:25:15.280 when I was living out in l A, open relationships 0:25:15.359 --> 0:25:17.359 or a thing that I'm not wired that way, So 0:25:17.400 --> 0:25:18.760 it's very hard for me to date when I was 0:25:18.760 --> 0:25:23.520 out in California. Um, so open relationships are a thing 0:25:23.520 --> 0:25:27.440 in l A. Yes, what do you mean people don't 0:25:27.480 --> 0:25:29.840 believe in being exclusive, Like, yeah, we'll date for five 0:25:29.880 --> 0:25:31.760 six months and we'll still date other people at the 0:25:31.800 --> 0:25:33.960 same time. And I'm like, na, either you're with me 0:25:34.280 --> 0:25:36.640 and me alone, or I'm not sharing you with anyone else. 0:25:36.720 --> 0:25:39.679 I don't want to have to just I don't know, 0:25:39.800 --> 0:25:42.560 especially if you're in that stage in the relationship where 0:25:42.600 --> 0:25:44.960 you're being intimate with someone. For me, I want to 0:25:45.000 --> 0:25:47.040 respect my body and I want to be with someone 0:25:47.040 --> 0:25:48.879 who respects the body as well, So I want to 0:25:48.880 --> 0:25:51.879 be able to have that conversation of being exclusively exclusive 0:25:52.119 --> 0:25:55.879 when it comes to intimacy. Let me ask. Believing that 0:25:57.000 --> 0:25:59.119 up artists said the same thing this morning. She was like, 0:25:59.200 --> 0:26:03.160 do you match people for like open relationships or are 0:26:03.240 --> 0:26:07.480 you imagining them for exclusivity? And you know, I mean 0:26:08.440 --> 0:26:10.280 it's true. I think they are a little bit more 0:26:10.320 --> 0:26:12.560 open minded in l A than what they would be 0:26:12.600 --> 0:26:14.879 saying in the Midwest. But well, of course, l A. 0:26:14.920 --> 0:26:17.240 There's so many We've said it million times of the podcast, 0:26:17.440 --> 0:26:20.359 sparkly things like everybody's always looking over your shoulder for 0:26:20.400 --> 0:26:23.080 the next best thing. That's I mean, that describes l 0:26:23.160 --> 0:26:25.879 A perfectly. Um, Yeah, there are a lot of guys 0:26:25.880 --> 0:26:28.080 out here that are noncommittal. And I say guys because 0:26:28.200 --> 0:26:30.359 it's more so guys that are unwilling to commit in 0:26:30.400 --> 0:26:33.439 a relationship than women in my in my opinion at 0:26:33.480 --> 0:26:37.800 least or my experience. Um so who knows, but Susan 0:26:37.840 --> 0:26:41.119 you you just also said that you are not only 0:26:41.200 --> 0:26:45.320 a relationship expert, um, but you're a matchmaker. So tell 0:26:45.359 --> 0:26:47.960 us a little bit about that. So I'm an upscale 0:26:48.000 --> 0:26:53.280 matchmaker and um, celebrity matchmaker. What does that mean? Upscale matchmaker? 0:26:53.520 --> 0:26:56.600 So I'm not picking um, well, you have to be 0:26:56.640 --> 0:27:00.680 able to afford me quite frankly, you know time, oh 0:27:00.720 --> 0:27:02.720 my goodness of fifteen all the way up to a 0:27:02.800 --> 0:27:07.960 quarter million dollars to a quarter million dollars. Yes, and 0:27:08.440 --> 0:27:13.119 you too could be one of my matches. Well, so 0:27:13.200 --> 0:27:15.920 basically what I do is, you know, we recruit for love. 0:27:16.080 --> 0:27:19.040 So I have the paying client, all right, and then 0:27:19.080 --> 0:27:21.520 I get into what it is they're really looking for, 0:27:21.640 --> 0:27:23.919 and I make sure that they are looking for something 0:27:23.920 --> 0:27:26.600 serious and that they can commit because some people, what 0:27:26.640 --> 0:27:28.480 they say and what they do are two different things. 0:27:28.600 --> 0:27:33.119 And then the match is free. Um. We recruit um 0:27:33.160 --> 0:27:35.720 in very upscale circles. So if you google me, you'll 0:27:35.760 --> 0:27:39.119 get a feel for that. UM. So hypothetically, if Vanessa 0:27:39.200 --> 0:27:42.040 was one of your clients, you would what would be 0:27:42.040 --> 0:27:44.119 the first steps? Oh? I think she's doing well. I 0:27:44.119 --> 0:27:46.159 mean I just googled her and I saw Peter Krauss 0:27:46.200 --> 0:27:51.119 come up. We already talked about that girl. He's an 0:27:51.119 --> 0:27:55.359 amazing guy. He's a good looking man. Yeah. Anyone listening 0:27:55.359 --> 0:28:00.040 to this whatever you see online? Yeah? So no, I 0:28:00.040 --> 0:28:05.400 I'm I've been on really interesting dates. I'm very optimistic, um, 0:28:05.400 --> 0:28:09.120 which is different from the last couple episodes ever recorded. 0:28:09.119 --> 0:28:11.919 I was like, uh, dating people are I had like 0:28:11.960 --> 0:28:14.800 the worst type of luck. But I wanted to ask 0:28:14.800 --> 0:28:17.439 you because I posted this on my account and some 0:28:18.200 --> 0:28:20.919 um of our followers asked when would it be the 0:28:21.000 --> 0:28:23.240 right time? Because we're talking about being exclusive, So when 0:28:23.240 --> 0:28:26.400 would it be the right time to make things official? 0:28:26.520 --> 0:28:29.760 How early? How is it too early on in a relationship? 0:28:29.800 --> 0:28:31.639 If it's a month or three months in? Is it 0:28:31.760 --> 0:28:35.520 six months in? Um? Should the guy still ask the 0:28:35.560 --> 0:28:38.280 woman do you want to be my girlfriend? Um? So, 0:28:38.440 --> 0:28:40.840 how do you have that exclusive talk? And when is 0:28:40.880 --> 0:28:43.320 it the right time to have it? So? I feel 0:28:43.320 --> 0:28:46.240 like men are in a position of power with this 0:28:46.360 --> 0:28:48.920 exclusivity thing right, and the woman a lot of times 0:28:49.040 --> 0:28:53.160 is asking however, Okay, a lot of times a man, 0:28:53.400 --> 0:28:55.040 when he has a good thing tries to lock it 0:28:55.080 --> 0:28:57.840 down and he's not necessarily sincere. So what I say 0:28:57.960 --> 0:29:00.600 is for it takes ninety days for you to really 0:29:00.640 --> 0:29:02.520 know the real person. So it's okay to say, Okay, 0:29:02.560 --> 0:29:05.840 i'm dating you, I'm only dating you, but I want 0:29:05.840 --> 0:29:08.840 to wait to see how this pans out, because you 0:29:08.840 --> 0:29:11.440 don't see the real person for ninety days. Your first 0:29:11.440 --> 0:29:14.400 fight make it or break it, you know, and that's 0:29:14.440 --> 0:29:16.640 when the first time you will see the real person. 0:29:16.680 --> 0:29:19.520 And I've had so many people come to me and 0:29:19.600 --> 0:29:23.080 I say, um, you know, don't lock it down, don't 0:29:23.080 --> 0:29:24.920 lock it down, and they lock it down in like 0:29:25.000 --> 0:29:27.600 thirty days. Oh yeah, we're exclusive. I like them. And 0:29:27.640 --> 0:29:31.000 guess what I mean. I was just on Dr Oz 0:29:31.040 --> 0:29:32.600 not too long ago with a lady and he was 0:29:32.640 --> 0:29:35.200 in an accident, like around day sixty and the nurse 0:29:35.200 --> 0:29:37.240 coming and taking care of him. He was in the 0:29:37.280 --> 0:29:40.240 accident with her the night before, cheating with the lady 0:29:40.320 --> 0:29:42.880 coming to me and um, yeah, so I mean I 0:29:42.920 --> 0:29:45.440 see that a lot. I don't know. I guess I'm 0:29:45.440 --> 0:29:47.760 a little confused though, because you say, if a guy 0:29:47.800 --> 0:29:50.280 is trying to lock it down to early, he might 0:29:50.280 --> 0:29:53.840 be insincere as well. And you don't know anybody until 0:29:53.960 --> 0:29:57.239 day ninety, you don't really see the red really, So 0:29:57.400 --> 0:30:01.120 are you saying that people should not the committal like 0:30:01.240 --> 0:30:03.600 commit to another person until after they know them for 0:30:03.640 --> 0:30:06.400 three months? Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. I'm saying 0:30:06.440 --> 0:30:10.280 it takes three months make it or break it first fight, right, 0:30:10.440 --> 0:30:13.280 here's my question, in the first three months, if you 0:30:13.360 --> 0:30:17.880 are not committed to one person, does that restrict you 0:30:17.920 --> 0:30:21.120 from going on dates with other people? Because here's the question. 0:30:21.160 --> 0:30:23.480 Here's my question for you, is that if you don't 0:30:23.480 --> 0:30:26.120 know somebody in the first ninety days, so what you're 0:30:26.160 --> 0:30:28.520 saying is don't commit to them because it's too soon, 0:30:28.920 --> 0:30:31.880 my question would be, well, does that prevent you from 0:30:31.920 --> 0:30:35.000 going on dates with other people? Because not at all. 0:30:35.160 --> 0:30:37.400 So you're giving that relationship in the first ninety days 0:30:37.400 --> 0:30:41.160 of fair chance if you're shopping it around. If it's yeah, yeah, 0:30:41.240 --> 0:30:43.000 I mean I think you are given in a chance. 0:30:43.040 --> 0:30:46.239 You're making that person prove themselves both ways, and you 0:30:46.400 --> 0:30:49.160 really don't need to keep going out with other people 0:30:49.240 --> 0:30:51.120 if you're feeling it, you could tell them, hey, I'm 0:30:51.120 --> 0:30:54.160 feeling this relationship, I'm liking you. I just want to 0:30:54.200 --> 0:30:56.880 give it some time to make sure this is what 0:30:57.000 --> 0:30:59.600 I think it is, because they need to prove it 0:30:59.640 --> 0:31:02.600 to you, right fair. But I feel like guys used 0:31:02.640 --> 0:31:05.520 that as an excuse all the time. Like a lot 0:31:05.560 --> 0:31:07.200 of guys, I feel like we'll tell women be like, 0:31:07.520 --> 0:31:09.920 I just want to take it slow. I'm not sure, 0:31:09.960 --> 0:31:12.280 but I'm into you. And I think we've had a 0:31:12.280 --> 0:31:14.680 lot of girls reach out to this podcast saying like, 0:31:15.000 --> 0:31:17.040 what do I do? We've been dating for two months. 0:31:17.040 --> 0:31:18.960 He says he really likes me, but he refuses to 0:31:19.000 --> 0:31:22.080 commit in a relationship with me. Is he just stringing 0:31:22.080 --> 0:31:24.600 me along? Or is he serious about this? And a 0:31:24.640 --> 0:31:26.560 lot of times I think both Vanessa and I are 0:31:26.600 --> 0:31:30.320 in agreements that the guys are probably just stringing them 0:31:30.360 --> 0:31:34.880 along if they're refusing to commit, specifically after like, you know, 0:31:34.880 --> 0:31:36.920 knowing these people for more than a month, Vanessa, what 0:31:36.960 --> 0:31:40.600 are your thoughts about it? I think that um um, 0:31:41.640 --> 0:31:46.200 every relationship is different, and if you have two people 0:31:46.480 --> 0:31:53.760 that are open in communicating their thoughts and how they're processing, um, 0:31:53.840 --> 0:31:57.200 the relationship. Whatever work for the both of you works 0:31:57.240 --> 0:31:58.959 for the both of you. I don't think there are 0:31:59.000 --> 0:32:03.200 any set rules in you know, taking that much time, 0:32:03.240 --> 0:32:05.360 it takes years to really get to no person. We're 0:32:05.440 --> 0:32:08.000 changing every day. After you get married, you change like 0:32:08.080 --> 0:32:11.680 you don't really know the person because the person that 0:32:11.720 --> 0:32:14.800 you're your significant other is changing every day. And so 0:32:14.960 --> 0:32:17.680 I think if you're in a committed relationship where you're 0:32:17.680 --> 0:32:22.920 honest about where you stand emotionally, then whatever rules you 0:32:22.920 --> 0:32:26.040 guys apply into your relationship is whatever rules you apply 0:32:26.480 --> 0:32:29.320 to you guys and might not apply to another relationship. 0:32:29.400 --> 0:32:33.479 Like I know someone right now that is openly dating 0:32:33.520 --> 0:32:37.719 other people, and she and her significant other are honest 0:32:37.760 --> 0:32:40.400 about when they're going on other dates and they've been 0:32:40.400 --> 0:32:42.680 together or they've known each other for a couple of months. 0:32:43.240 --> 0:32:46.600 I can't relate to that. I I am not wired 0:32:46.640 --> 0:32:49.600 that way, um, but it works for them, And so 0:32:50.160 --> 0:32:51.560 I think at the end of the day, it just 0:32:51.600 --> 0:32:54.560 comes down to communicating, communicating whether or not you're ready 0:32:54.600 --> 0:32:57.600 to seriously commit to someone. And I think it has 0:32:57.600 --> 0:32:59.520 a lot to do with age. I'm thirty one right now, 0:32:59.720 --> 0:33:01.960 and I've had conversations with people that I've gone on 0:33:02.080 --> 0:33:04.800 dates with where they're not in the right mind state 0:33:04.880 --> 0:33:07.800 to seriously date someone. And I do appreciate that honesty, 0:33:07.840 --> 0:33:10.200 and I'm like a ran a grand a thank you next, 0:33:10.720 --> 0:33:13.160 or they are in a state where they want to 0:33:13.160 --> 0:33:17.200 find someone. And you know, I keep hearing that the 0:33:17.480 --> 0:33:21.000 sentence when when you know, you know, um, and I 0:33:21.040 --> 0:33:22.960 want to be able to be jared right when you 0:33:22.960 --> 0:33:28.040 know you know, like you can't really know it expressing 0:33:28.160 --> 0:33:30.480 why it is that person, you just know it in 0:33:30.520 --> 0:33:32.320 your gut that that's the person that you want to 0:33:32.320 --> 0:33:35.320 spend the rest of your life with. I have mixed 0:33:35.360 --> 0:33:37.560 feelings about that statement. And this is coming from someone 0:33:37.600 --> 0:33:40.360 who's engaged in madly in love. And I will spend 0:33:40.400 --> 0:33:44.960 the rest of my life with Ashley, but I'm not 0:33:45.120 --> 0:33:48.360 sure if you know you know. I think of all 0:33:48.400 --> 0:33:50.600 the times you thought you knew when you knew and 0:33:50.640 --> 0:33:52.960 you were wrong. I think that's like a false sense 0:33:52.960 --> 0:33:57.880 of chemistry, right, And that's what I think, although I 0:33:57.960 --> 0:34:00.680 know that I'm guilty, Like I tell all my clients 0:34:00.680 --> 0:34:02.760 to keep an open mind, but you know, I like 0:34:02.840 --> 0:34:04.760 told ark In a handsome and that's exactly what I 0:34:04.760 --> 0:34:07.280 fell for. And I'm married, right and still madly in love. 0:34:07.600 --> 0:34:10.080 But I think that there is a sense of like 0:34:10.360 --> 0:34:12.520 you know when you know, but you wait to see 0:34:12.560 --> 0:34:15.040 if it pans out, which goes back to what I 0:34:15.120 --> 0:34:17.800 was saying, like these guys don't want to commit. Actions 0:34:17.800 --> 0:34:20.399 speak louder than words. You both speak, you both think 0:34:20.440 --> 0:34:23.520 you're on the same page, right, and but you've gotta 0:34:23.560 --> 0:34:26.040 wait to see if the actions line up because a 0:34:26.120 --> 0:34:28.480 player is kind of like a con artist in a way, right, 0:34:28.560 --> 0:34:31.520 because actions aren't going to line up, and so you're 0:34:31.560 --> 0:34:35.080 just kind of keeping it real for a while to 0:34:35.200 --> 0:34:37.239 make sure that they are who they say they are 0:34:37.280 --> 0:34:40.080 because it's next next on Tinder, right do you think 0:34:41.680 --> 0:34:43.680 do you think that's asking a lot of people though? 0:34:44.640 --> 0:34:47.000 And that's my only question is not when you get 0:34:47.040 --> 0:34:49.200 broken heart at left and right and you know, like 0:34:49.320 --> 0:34:51.719 you just keep getting played by the player you know 0:34:53.480 --> 0:34:55.919 totally of course, right, there's players on both sides, both 0:34:55.960 --> 0:34:59.080 men and women, um, and it's dating is a very 0:34:59.080 --> 0:35:04.840 difficult world, uh to navigate through today. I just feel that, 0:35:05.680 --> 0:35:08.160 for example, Vanessa, let me ask you a hypothetical question. 0:35:08.200 --> 0:35:10.279 If a guy came up to you and you guys 0:35:10.560 --> 0:35:13.880 were went on a few dates and the chemistry was 0:35:13.920 --> 0:35:15.879 there and it was really good, and you like this guy, 0:35:16.000 --> 0:35:19.480 and he said, I really like you too. I want 0:35:19.520 --> 0:35:23.160 to work towards a relationship. Um, I cannot commit to 0:35:23.200 --> 0:35:25.160 you right now because I want to wait to see 0:35:25.200 --> 0:35:27.719 how it pans out. Like this guy would want to wait. 0:35:27.760 --> 0:35:29.879 He would. For example, you guys were only at three 0:35:29.960 --> 0:35:32.319 or four dates in and he was like, I don't 0:35:32.320 --> 0:35:33.600 want to commit to you right now. I want to 0:35:33.640 --> 0:35:36.000 give it a you know, maybe another month, a couple 0:35:36.040 --> 0:35:37.719 of months, really get to know each other more and 0:35:37.760 --> 0:35:40.800 figure out if this is a lifetime. You got to 0:35:40.840 --> 0:35:44.879 say yes, yes, it's only three or four dates for all, 0:35:44.960 --> 0:35:48.279 you know. You know, he's like the serial killer. So 0:35:48.400 --> 0:35:50.880 you I'm just saying you gotta wait to see and 0:35:50.920 --> 0:35:53.279 that will open up your world. But now, if he's 0:35:53.320 --> 0:35:56.480 acting like he doesn't want to commit, it's I'm not 0:35:56.560 --> 0:35:59.239 saying you really have to date someone else. I'm saying, 0:35:59.280 --> 0:36:01.879 if you want to go for it, you can say 0:36:01.920 --> 0:36:04.600 you're the only person I'm seeing right now, but I 0:36:04.680 --> 0:36:07.360 want to wait before I jump in. You know, That's 0:36:07.440 --> 0:36:09.520 that's what I think, because three or four days you 0:36:09.560 --> 0:36:11.520 don't know what you don't know, You probably run off 0:36:11.560 --> 0:36:17.440 screaming down the alley with most of you've got since you, um, 0:36:17.680 --> 0:36:23.799 you're a relationship investigator, and I want to get um. Yeah, 0:36:23.880 --> 0:36:26.560 I want to talk about that, and you have like 0:36:26.719 --> 0:36:31.480 line techniques and tracking a cheater and all that I 0:36:31.520 --> 0:36:35.000 want to know since I think we we all come 0:36:35.120 --> 0:36:40.680 into new relationships with insecurities because of things that we 0:36:40.760 --> 0:36:43.359 had to deal with in past relationships. I don't think 0:36:43.400 --> 0:36:46.799 I've ever been cheated on. I don't. I don't think 0:36:46.800 --> 0:36:49.000 I've ever been cheated on. So I don't have an 0:36:49.000 --> 0:36:51.720 insecurity when it comes to finding someone that is loyal 0:36:51.800 --> 0:36:56.120 because I haven't been through that. Liars, on the other hand, Yeah, 0:36:56.200 --> 0:36:59.800 I date liars. So how can we track a liar? 0:37:00.000 --> 0:37:05.160 How can we detect when that red flag is there? 0:37:05.239 --> 0:37:07.719 And we should start waving that white one and run? 0:37:08.080 --> 0:37:11.800 So what are I'm so glad to us Okay, because 0:37:11.920 --> 0:37:17.279 that's your ninety days you watch you don't necessarily know, right, 0:37:17.320 --> 0:37:18.839 they're not going to look you straight in the eye, 0:37:18.880 --> 0:37:22.319 first of all. Uh, and that's like your number one thing. 0:37:22.360 --> 0:37:24.239 When they're lying, they might you know, there might be 0:37:24.280 --> 0:37:26.319 certain things that they do. They cover their mouth, they 0:37:26.320 --> 0:37:28.960 shake their head no as they're telling you something right 0:37:28.960 --> 0:37:31.160 because it's not the truth. So there's certain giveaways. I'm 0:37:31.200 --> 0:37:33.280 not a body language expert, but I mean you could 0:37:33.560 --> 0:37:36.000 you could read into that. But what I have found 0:37:36.120 --> 0:37:38.279 is a in your gut? Do you believe it to 0:37:38.320 --> 0:37:42.040 be true? All right? Trust your gut? So many people 0:37:42.080 --> 0:37:45.160 don't trust their gut. And then you just wait and 0:37:45.200 --> 0:37:47.000 you listen, and you know they're going to tell you 0:37:47.080 --> 0:37:50.200 whatever it is they told you, okay, one time, two times, 0:37:50.239 --> 0:37:54.040 three times? Is it consistent? The truth is consistent. A 0:37:54.200 --> 0:37:58.640 lie is not consistent. It'll be a different story every time. 0:37:58.680 --> 0:38:00.759 It would be just something very ache where they might 0:38:00.840 --> 0:38:04.239 get angry. You know, suppose you catch someone in a 0:38:04.280 --> 0:38:06.760 lie and you confront them and they get very angry 0:38:06.800 --> 0:38:10.120 and they blame you, like, okay, cheating, I'm not cheating 0:38:10.120 --> 0:38:12.200 on you. You must be crazy. You must be cheating 0:38:12.200 --> 0:38:13.960 on me. So you know, they kind of pass it 0:38:14.000 --> 0:38:16.279 back on you and project on you. Crazy is a 0:38:16.320 --> 0:38:19.799 word that men should not use on females because I 0:38:19.840 --> 0:38:23.879 find that that's just them projecting their like either they're 0:38:23.880 --> 0:38:27.160 insecurity or projecting like whatever they're going whatever is going 0:38:27.200 --> 0:38:30.200 on internally with them onto the woman, like you're crazy 0:38:30.239 --> 0:38:33.320 for thinking this or you're crazy putting these people that 0:38:33.400 --> 0:38:35.840 are true, And so I really do agree with the 0:38:35.880 --> 0:38:38.520 whole intuition thing. Um, I feel like I'm a very 0:38:38.520 --> 0:38:42.880 intuitive person and it gets me so frustrated because I 0:38:42.960 --> 0:38:45.880 talk about self sabotaging relationships and have a tendency to 0:38:45.920 --> 0:38:48.400 do that early on. But I think it's because if 0:38:48.440 --> 0:38:52.160 I really dissect I self sabotage because I know this 0:38:52.200 --> 0:38:55.040 person isn't right for me. So I'm stuck between my 0:38:55.120 --> 0:38:58.960 intuition telling me run and also my hardhead saying talk 0:38:59.040 --> 0:39:01.440 it out of it a shot and see how far 0:39:01.520 --> 0:39:04.640 you can take this. And so I end up going 0:39:04.680 --> 0:39:06.879 with what my hearthead is telling me to do and 0:39:06.920 --> 0:39:11.480 to keep trying to make things work in the relationship, 0:39:11.520 --> 0:39:12.960 and at the end of the day, it doesn't end 0:39:13.040 --> 0:39:16.160 up working out. In my in my intuition was always right. 0:39:16.400 --> 0:39:19.520 And so now I'm in a position where I am 0:39:19.680 --> 0:39:23.360 very self aware of the things that I know. Um, 0:39:23.400 --> 0:39:26.239 I have a tendency of doing like self sabotaging and 0:39:26.320 --> 0:39:29.000 understanding why that why that's there. But because I'm so 0:39:29.120 --> 0:39:32.279 black and white for me, as soon as there's one 0:39:32.320 --> 0:39:36.359 thing that's inconsistent in someone, I'm like done I don't 0:39:36.360 --> 0:39:38.480 want to deal with you like I'm coming with such 0:39:38.520 --> 0:39:42.800 a clean slate. There's really no skeletons in my closet. Um. 0:39:42.800 --> 0:39:46.480 My romantic love life is literally up on the internet. 0:39:46.560 --> 0:39:48.239 You can search whatever you want to search. There's no 0:39:48.280 --> 0:39:50.400 reason for me to lie about anything. And so in 0:39:50.440 --> 0:39:52.759 my position, sometimes it's hard to date someone and to 0:39:52.920 --> 0:39:55.200 really get to know their authentic self. And I guess 0:39:55.200 --> 0:39:57.640 that's where the ninety days come in. Um. But because 0:39:57.640 --> 0:39:59.560 I'm such a hopeless dramatic, I'm like, no, I want 0:39:59.600 --> 0:40:01.440 to get to all you and like one date, I 0:40:01.480 --> 0:40:04.319 want to know all about you. And so the being 0:40:04.760 --> 0:40:07.400 ancient when it comes to relationships is something I know 0:40:07.440 --> 0:40:10.600 I need to work on, right. And apparently you already 0:40:10.600 --> 0:40:14.640 know that you're um, you self sabotage, So if you 0:40:14.680 --> 0:40:17.359 know why you do that, and I mean, I think 0:40:17.400 --> 0:40:19.200 that's the right approach, just to sit back. And you 0:40:19.239 --> 0:40:23.720 said one key thing inconsistent. When they when somebody presents 0:40:23.719 --> 0:40:26.439 you with something that's inconsistent, they're not going to tell 0:40:26.480 --> 0:40:28.920 you everything on the first date. And you shouldn't know 0:40:29.000 --> 0:40:31.040 anything like that on the first date. You should just 0:40:31.040 --> 0:40:33.719 be flirting and smiling each other and taking it slow. 0:40:33.800 --> 0:40:37.560 Those are the best relationships that unfold. And I mean 0:40:37.600 --> 0:40:40.239 you you just know when I met my husband, I 0:40:40.320 --> 0:40:44.319 knew my husband was sincere and a story, right, And 0:40:44.400 --> 0:40:46.520 there is that sense of intuition. And the more you did, 0:40:46.640 --> 0:40:51.120 I think, the more you get it. I guess my question, 0:40:52.360 --> 0:40:55.160 I'm confused. So when you said you met your husband 0:40:55.200 --> 0:40:58.560 you knew he was sincere, did you commit to him quickly? No? 0:40:59.560 --> 0:41:02.640 So even though you knew here sincere, right, we were like, 0:41:02.719 --> 0:41:06.160 I'm still going to wait on this. Yeah, well what 0:41:07.040 --> 0:41:09.120 thing to wait? Were you dating other people or you 0:41:09.239 --> 0:41:13.480 just weren't giving of yourself just yeah, well I was 0:41:13.520 --> 0:41:15.480 just waiting to see No, I don't think I was 0:41:15.560 --> 0:41:18.600 dating other people. Didn't really have time. Um, but you know, 0:41:18.719 --> 0:41:21.520 you just wait to see that everything is as say, 0:41:21.560 --> 0:41:22.840 first of all, you got to know what it is 0:41:22.880 --> 0:41:25.719 you're looking for. And so if I tell you what 0:41:25.760 --> 0:41:27.200 I'm you know how many guys you say I want 0:41:27.200 --> 0:41:30.440 a commitment or you're in this relationship already and you 0:41:30.480 --> 0:41:32.440 know you're kind of giving them an ultimatum and they 0:41:32.480 --> 0:41:36.160 say no, okay, and then you walk and they say yes, 0:41:36.239 --> 0:41:38.919 yes right, and um, I will I will come back, 0:41:38.960 --> 0:41:41.040 come back and then they don't write. So that's what 0:41:41.080 --> 0:41:43.280 you gotta do. You gotta wait. You want this, whatever 0:41:43.280 --> 0:41:46.120 it is you want, you know, you wait to see 0:41:46.239 --> 0:41:48.160 are they really going to back it up and give 0:41:48.200 --> 0:41:51.280 it to me? Because anybody's going to say because they 0:41:51.280 --> 0:41:55.040 want what they want, right They everybody has needs, right 0:41:55.040 --> 0:41:57.080 they want to get their needs met, whatever that may be. 0:41:57.400 --> 0:41:59.160 And as long as their needs are getting met and 0:41:59.200 --> 0:42:01.000 your needs are getting meant, then I think it's okay 0:42:01.000 --> 0:42:03.560 to go forward. But sometimes if you're in the beginning 0:42:03.560 --> 0:42:06.239 and you realize you're not getting your needs met even 0:42:06.239 --> 0:42:08.759 though they said that they would or acted like they 0:42:08.800 --> 0:42:11.360 wanted to, right, then you have to walk. But you 0:42:11.440 --> 0:42:13.640 have to wait to see. That's not something you're going 0:42:13.680 --> 0:42:16.080 to really know on the first date. I'm sure they're 0:42:16.080 --> 0:42:18.520 all going to say, listen, I have clients they slipped 0:42:18.560 --> 0:42:20.280 in there. You know, they say they want to get married, 0:42:20.320 --> 0:42:22.960 and you know they want a professional woman. That's great, 0:42:23.160 --> 0:42:24.600 but at the end of the day, you know the 0:42:24.600 --> 0:42:27.000 women that they really are attracted to or something else, 0:42:27.040 --> 0:42:29.120 And I just have to say, I'm sorry, you know 0:42:29.760 --> 0:42:33.400 you really aren't after what you say you're after. Until 0:42:33.400 --> 0:42:35.840 you get that straight, I can't help you right, And 0:42:35.840 --> 0:42:39.120 there's a lot of people that have that confusion. I think, um, 0:42:39.120 --> 0:42:41.680 coming off of a show like The Bachelor, where everything 0:42:41.760 --> 0:42:43.759 is so fast paid. You get to meet someone, you 0:42:43.800 --> 0:42:46.160 spend very little time with them, and then all of 0:42:46.200 --> 0:42:48.640 a sudden you're engaged to them and you're basically starting, 0:42:49.760 --> 0:42:53.759 you know, from square one all over again, after basically 0:42:54.239 --> 0:42:57.440 doing the biggest step in getting engaged. And I think 0:42:57.480 --> 0:43:01.120 for me it worked because I'm someone that is go 0:43:01.360 --> 0:43:03.759 It goes against everything you're saying to Susan. I am 0:43:03.880 --> 0:43:06.239 someone that is fast paced when it comes to relationships. 0:43:06.280 --> 0:43:07.799 I know what I want to know what I'm looking for, 0:43:07.920 --> 0:43:10.480 and let's try this out. Let's go all in or 0:43:10.560 --> 0:43:15.000 let's not. And so I'm either dating someone, seriously dating someone, 0:43:15.200 --> 0:43:19.239 or I'm really single, like I'm not a nowhere in between. Um, 0:43:19.239 --> 0:43:21.400 and I've gotten a little bit better. I spoke about this. 0:43:21.480 --> 0:43:24.120 I was dating someone recently in the summer and he 0:43:24.280 --> 0:43:27.160 was someone that was not committal, and I went with 0:43:27.200 --> 0:43:29.680 the flow and I felt really good to step outside 0:43:29.719 --> 0:43:32.640 of my comfort zone. And but at the end of 0:43:32.640 --> 0:43:34.680 the day, I realized, this is not me and this 0:43:34.760 --> 0:43:37.680 is the last time I give my heart up to 0:43:37.760 --> 0:43:40.040 someone that isn't deserving of it. But he said so 0:43:40.080 --> 0:43:44.960 in the beginning, right, Um, Honestly, his actions were very different, 0:43:45.000 --> 0:43:48.000 And that's where actually flatt of the words. He wanted 0:43:48.040 --> 0:43:51.520 to have babies, and I'm like, you're talking, you're preaching 0:43:51.520 --> 0:43:52.839 to the choir, like the only thing I ever wanted, 0:43:52.920 --> 0:43:55.440 like his kids. But I knew deep down that he 0:43:55.480 --> 0:43:58.920 was saying these things too, you know, make me like 0:43:59.080 --> 0:44:03.360 him more or whatever the cases. So I was aware 0:44:03.360 --> 0:44:05.280 of that, and I knew deep down he wasn't someone 0:44:05.320 --> 0:44:07.719 I was gonna seriously date. But it was still like 0:44:07.840 --> 0:44:10.759 it was a nice chance. It was a nice um 0:44:11.080 --> 0:44:14.520 change instead of like seriously dating someone and going and 0:44:14.840 --> 0:44:17.719 really quickly so tracking a cheater. I'm sure everyone that's 0:44:17.760 --> 0:44:19.680 listening to this like, oh, I want to know how 0:44:19.719 --> 0:44:24.160 look and the blackest cheata. Before we get into that, 0:44:24.239 --> 0:44:27.120 I just want to ask one thing, because we talked 0:44:27.160 --> 0:44:30.120 so much about dating and relationships and waiting or committing 0:44:30.200 --> 0:44:34.280 and and the dudes and the don'ts and and trust 0:44:34.360 --> 0:44:38.399 your instinct, but also, you know, think with your head 0:44:38.480 --> 0:44:41.120 not your heart. Do you think that sometimes we just 0:44:41.120 --> 0:44:45.200 psychic ourselves out? No, not at all. I mean I 0:44:45.239 --> 0:44:48.399 think that's just like when you're leading with your heart 0:44:48.440 --> 0:44:51.200 and projecting I want this, that's when I think you 0:44:51.400 --> 0:44:53.800 like yourself out. I mean, if you take an approach 0:44:53.880 --> 0:44:55.360 this is this is what I need, this is what 0:44:55.440 --> 0:44:57.480 I want. Then and you know where you're going. You're 0:44:57.480 --> 0:44:59.840 gonna get it. It's like any goal, right, you're gonna 0:45:00.880 --> 0:45:03.640 it's going to happen. Do you think sometimes we overthink 0:45:03.640 --> 0:45:06.719 things and maybe are in our own head too much 0:45:06.760 --> 0:45:08.439 of like okay, well we have to make them wait, 0:45:08.680 --> 0:45:12.160 or no, we should commit now, or like almost looking 0:45:12.200 --> 0:45:15.520 for something that's that's not there, um whether that be 0:45:15.640 --> 0:45:19.759 good or bad, because like you know, sometimes I get concerned, 0:45:19.800 --> 0:45:22.400 like even like tracking a liar. It's like, well, you know, 0:45:22.520 --> 0:45:25.239 body language, hand over mouth, Like if I put my 0:45:25.239 --> 0:45:27.080 hand over my mouth now next time I'm talking to somebody, 0:45:27.120 --> 0:45:30.440 are they're gonna be like ah liar? Sometimes I get 0:45:30.440 --> 0:45:32.360 concerned about that because we do live in such a 0:45:32.360 --> 0:45:35.239 transparent world, in a modern world where everything is is 0:45:35.280 --> 0:45:39.040 online and we have instant gratification for for knowledge or 0:45:39.200 --> 0:45:42.399 likes on Instagram or what have you, And sometimes I think, 0:45:42.560 --> 0:45:47.880 are we just overthinking things? I don't know? Probably in 0:45:47.880 --> 0:45:50.160 a lot of ways, like like you self sabotage. You 0:45:50.239 --> 0:45:54.239 probably overthink your relationships. Um, yeah, I mean in a 0:45:54.280 --> 0:45:56.239 lot of ways. I'm sure we do overthink things, but 0:45:56.280 --> 0:45:58.440 you're not overthinking it to know what it is you 0:45:58.480 --> 0:46:00.520 want out of a relationship. So as I want to 0:46:00.520 --> 0:46:02.160 get married, i want to have kids, or I don't 0:46:02.200 --> 0:46:03.560 want to get married, but I want to have kids, 0:46:03.800 --> 0:46:05.680 and this is the person I want to be with 0:46:05.760 --> 0:46:07.520 for the you know, the rest of my life. That's, 0:46:07.680 --> 0:46:11.160 you know, knowing what you want and overthinking things, I 0:46:11.200 --> 0:46:12.839 think are two different things. As a matter of fact, 0:46:12.880 --> 0:46:14.160 I think you do need to put a lot of 0:46:14.200 --> 0:46:16.720 thought into that. When I talk to a client, sometimes 0:46:16.760 --> 0:46:19.160 it takes, like believe it or not, three or four 0:46:19.160 --> 0:46:21.440 hours to get down to what you really want. And 0:46:21.480 --> 0:46:23.399 they thought they knew. And a lot of times that's 0:46:23.400 --> 0:46:25.919 why you're not really finding it. You spend all this time, 0:46:26.200 --> 0:46:30.279 you're right over analyzing everything with your girlfriends, and you know, 0:46:30.640 --> 0:46:33.640 guys don't, you know, traditionally talk too much about what 0:46:33.680 --> 0:46:37.120 they want, right except on you know, these podcasts, But anyway, yeah, 0:46:37.120 --> 0:46:39.200 you do. You spend so much time that you lose 0:46:39.239 --> 0:46:41.160 the real point of what is And I'm looking for 0:46:41.280 --> 0:46:45.080 what's going to make me happy? What is superficial and 0:46:45.120 --> 0:46:47.040 what is it I really need to make me happy? 0:46:47.120 --> 0:46:48.840 Do you believe in finessa? Do you believe in some 0:46:50.000 --> 0:46:56.000 I believe that there are a number of people that 0:46:56.080 --> 0:46:59.399 are really great matches for us. I don't believe there's 0:46:59.480 --> 0:47:01.799 once but secific person that you're meant to be with, 0:47:01.880 --> 0:47:05.320 because there's a whole a ton of people in this world, 0:47:05.400 --> 0:47:07.600 and because I live in one part of this one 0:47:07.719 --> 0:47:10.719 in a country. Now, does that really mean that the 0:47:10.840 --> 0:47:13.239 love of my life is in my country? Like No, 0:47:13.400 --> 0:47:16.000 I think that's kind of crazy to think that. UM. 0:47:16.080 --> 0:47:18.440 For me, at least, I believe that in every stage 0:47:18.480 --> 0:47:21.040 in your life there is someone that comes into it 0:47:21.360 --> 0:47:23.359 and you could either be with them or not. I 0:47:23.400 --> 0:47:26.160 do think that when I was younger, in my early twenties, 0:47:26.520 --> 0:47:31.360 I felt really hard and in love with one specific person. However, 0:47:31.560 --> 0:47:33.880 the timing of things not great. He did not want 0:47:33.880 --> 0:47:35.600 to have kids. I wanted to have kids. There are 0:47:35.600 --> 0:47:38.480 a number of people that were meant to be with. Um, Susan, 0:47:38.840 --> 0:47:41.239 I agree there's the right person for the right time 0:47:41.280 --> 0:47:44.320 in your life. It isn't just one person and that's another. 0:47:44.440 --> 0:47:46.920 I think that's an example of overthinking things. You know, 0:47:47.000 --> 0:47:49.120 you're looking for your soul made. Oh my god, this 0:47:49.320 --> 0:47:52.239 one person out of all these billions of people. No, 0:47:52.640 --> 0:47:54.560 it could be any number, and some are a better 0:47:54.640 --> 0:47:58.280 fit than others, I know. And that's where I sometimes 0:47:58.280 --> 0:48:00.839 I get into the overthinking part because, as I think, 0:48:00.840 --> 0:48:02.959 some people do look for that one person that they're 0:48:02.960 --> 0:48:05.080 supposed to spend the rest of their life with, when 0:48:05.920 --> 0:48:09.480 in actuality it might be multiple people. And for example, 0:48:09.600 --> 0:48:11.719 if you're in a relation for somebody that you truly love, 0:48:11.800 --> 0:48:15.000 but something is wrong and there's something that you guys 0:48:15.080 --> 0:48:18.160 are not on the same page about, where is the line? Like? 0:48:18.280 --> 0:48:20.319 What line is that? Is it? Is it marriage? Is 0:48:20.360 --> 0:48:23.160 it kids? Is it? Is it financial? Is it where 0:48:23.200 --> 0:48:25.920 you want to live in the world? Is it family? Like? 0:48:26.360 --> 0:48:29.400 But here's the thing, like, how, for example, Vanessa can 0:48:29.440 --> 0:48:31.360 speak to this a little bit. You come off the Bachelor, 0:48:31.400 --> 0:48:33.120 you're engaged, you're madly in love with someone, and then 0:48:33.160 --> 0:48:34.800 you get back into the real world and you're like, wow, 0:48:35.080 --> 0:48:37.080 we have a lot of differences though, but we're in love. 0:48:37.239 --> 0:48:39.279 So how hard should we fight for this relationship? And 0:48:39.320 --> 0:48:42.279 I wanted to get your thoughts, both your thoughts on that. Well, 0:48:42.280 --> 0:48:45.160 can I talk. I'll just give you my faults because 0:48:45.560 --> 0:48:51.960 I actually gave media comments about your breakup. So anyway, 0:48:52.719 --> 0:48:56.120 so it kind of ties in with what I'm saying here. So, um, 0:48:56.160 --> 0:48:57.919 I think it was to Elite Daily and they asked 0:48:57.920 --> 0:48:59.879 me what I thought about the breakup. And it's kind 0:48:59.880 --> 0:49:02.319 of interesting because you know, I love The Bachelor and 0:49:02.320 --> 0:49:05.480 the Bachelorette, and yeah, I really do. Yeah, So I 0:49:05.760 --> 0:49:07.840 did something like with one of the former Bachelor's in 0:49:07.880 --> 0:49:10.799 my dating boot camp, so I watch it. After that, 0:49:10.840 --> 0:49:12.640 I started watching it all the time, and I really 0:49:12.680 --> 0:49:14.560 love it because, A you get to see a lot 0:49:14.560 --> 0:49:17.120 of dating mistakes if you watch it that people make. 0:49:17.480 --> 0:49:20.040 But back to you, it ties in with what I'm saying. 0:49:20.239 --> 0:49:22.680 It's a it's a fake world, the same thing as 0:49:22.760 --> 0:49:24.920 like you have a couple of dates. That's a fake world. 0:49:25.120 --> 0:49:28.240 You have these couple of great dates, right And anyway, 0:49:28.280 --> 0:49:30.200 when you get out in the real world, then that's 0:49:30.200 --> 0:49:32.719 when you're starting to see the real person and you're 0:49:32.800 --> 0:49:37.040 kind of like suddenly starting to date really in the 0:49:37.080 --> 0:49:41.080 real world. And so when it comes down to you 0:49:41.120 --> 0:49:47.319 know all of this, Um, I just think that you know, 0:49:47.440 --> 0:49:52.680 dating is tough. It's hard, you know, and you. Everybody. 0:49:52.719 --> 0:49:57.279 I could call it less authenticity and dating. Everybody's going next, next, next, right, 0:49:57.840 --> 0:50:01.320 and it's just a crazy world. Well, I guess, Vanessa. 0:50:01.440 --> 0:50:07.279 My question to you is, how man, it's gonna sound bad? 0:50:08.239 --> 0:50:12.680 How important is love? Because I'm sure you you can 0:50:12.719 --> 0:50:14.840 probably say, I you know, I'm assuming you have the 0:50:14.840 --> 0:50:17.960 show in love with Nick and it obviously didn't work out. 0:50:17.960 --> 0:50:20.080 You know, have to speak into details, but it's it's 0:50:20.120 --> 0:50:23.080 interesting as an overall scope of like, well, what's the 0:50:23.120 --> 0:50:25.200 most important thing? Is it? Well? Are we on the 0:50:25.239 --> 0:50:27.319 same page about kids? Are we on the same page 0:50:27.320 --> 0:50:29.920 about where we're gonna live? Not just with your relationship 0:50:29.920 --> 0:50:32.719 with Nick, but just for everybody out there, Like you know, 0:50:32.800 --> 0:50:35.200 in in the ranking where does love rank? Is it 0:50:35.280 --> 0:50:37.480 number one? Is it the most important thing over everything? 0:50:38.480 --> 0:50:44.080 I think compatibility equals strong love, and Nick and I 0:50:44.200 --> 0:50:49.360 were in love with each other once we got engaged. Um, 0:50:49.440 --> 0:50:52.240 I think there was a moment of realizing like, oh, 0:50:52.560 --> 0:50:57.000 we are so different. We didn't get a chance to 0:50:57.040 --> 0:50:59.560 realize this while we're filming, because you're living in the moment. 0:50:59.600 --> 0:51:02.400 It's kind of like long distance relationships where it's always 0:51:02.400 --> 0:51:04.200 a high because whenever you see each other. It's been 0:51:04.239 --> 0:51:07.120 so long, and I mean, listen, I love long distance relationships, 0:51:07.160 --> 0:51:10.600 but of course, like it takes a longer period of 0:51:10.600 --> 0:51:12.200 time to really get to no person if you're seeing 0:51:12.239 --> 0:51:15.200 them once a month or whatever. UM. And for us, 0:51:15.239 --> 0:51:19.239 like we did love each other, and we realized how 0:51:19.320 --> 0:51:21.880 different we were, and we took the steps we needed to. 0:51:22.040 --> 0:51:25.719 We communicated about it, we went to couples therapy, and 0:51:25.760 --> 0:51:28.000 then we started to realize there's certain things that we're 0:51:28.040 --> 0:51:30.440 not willing to compromise on, which was which were our 0:51:30.480 --> 0:51:34.080 core values, which made up who we were, which also 0:51:34.120 --> 0:51:37.400 spoke volumes on how we weren't going to be able 0:51:37.480 --> 0:51:41.960 to be as happy and as authentically ourselves and the 0:51:42.040 --> 0:51:44.920 relationship in order to move forward. And it wasn't It 0:51:45.000 --> 0:51:48.520 was so hard making that decision, the number of panic 0:51:48.520 --> 0:51:52.520 attacks that I had. UM. I remember like once we 0:51:52.520 --> 0:51:54.400 were lying down in bed and he went to the 0:51:54.400 --> 0:51:56.279 gym and I woke up and he wasn't in the 0:51:56.320 --> 0:51:58.839 bed next to me, and I woke up like it's 0:51:58.960 --> 0:52:01.880 hysterically crying like what are you? And I couldn't. I 0:52:02.000 --> 0:52:05.719 knew that it was like the beginning stages of the 0:52:05.800 --> 0:52:11.000 relationship UM making its way to an end, and so 0:52:11.200 --> 0:52:13.520 it was a process that we had to take together 0:52:13.520 --> 0:52:16.760 and realize that it was something that we both wanted. 0:52:16.800 --> 0:52:19.359 And I think it was so beautiful at the end 0:52:19.400 --> 0:52:21.400 when we finally like looked at each other and said, like, 0:52:21.480 --> 0:52:23.400 we love each other, but it's just not it's not 0:52:23.440 --> 0:52:26.440 going to work. And so oftentimes when people do break up, 0:52:26.480 --> 0:52:28.760 it's one person who wants out and the other person 0:52:29.360 --> 0:52:32.839 is stuck in the bargaining phase of a breakup and 0:52:32.880 --> 0:52:36.400 wanting to get them back without realizing like, oh wait, 0:52:36.440 --> 0:52:40.040 we're really if one person wants out, ultimately you're not 0:52:40.080 --> 0:52:43.720 really meant to be together, right, Yeah, it really doesn't 0:52:43.760 --> 0:52:47.719 take well, is it? Is it unfair for somebody in 0:52:47.760 --> 0:52:51.280 a relationship to have second guessing? Everybody has second guessing. 0:52:51.320 --> 0:52:54.040 I think that's just a matter of psychology. Well, like 0:52:54.120 --> 0:52:56.480 say it say you're in a relationship someone and they're like, 0:52:56.560 --> 0:52:58.840 I'm thinking about breaking up because I don't know if 0:52:58.880 --> 0:53:01.759 it's working. Is that Does that define somebody as being 0:53:01.800 --> 0:53:04.879 out of the relationship or is it possibly maybe they're 0:53:04.920 --> 0:53:07.839 having doubts? Yeah, no, doubting is fine. But I think 0:53:07.880 --> 0:53:10.359 if someone has made their decision and saying I don't 0:53:10.400 --> 0:53:13.160 want to be with you anymore. To me, that's the 0:53:13.239 --> 0:53:16.120 ultimate insult. And I'm I should be the queen of 0:53:16.120 --> 0:53:19.080 getting my heartbroken because I literally will cry my eyes 0:53:19.120 --> 0:53:20.959 out if a guy like and something after a week 0:53:21.080 --> 0:53:24.080 and I'm like, why, But that's just because my egos bruised. Right, 0:53:24.680 --> 0:53:27.239 So at the end of the day, I think it's 0:53:27.560 --> 0:53:30.160 if someone doesn't want to be with you, and that's 0:53:30.160 --> 0:53:33.560 not someone that's going to stick by you through harder 0:53:33.600 --> 0:53:35.760 times in life, and that's not someone that you should 0:53:36.040 --> 0:53:39.080 want to picture a future with, right, And just don't 0:53:39.080 --> 0:53:40.920 really take that much work. I mean you hear people go, 0:53:40.960 --> 0:53:42.799 oh my god, it's work, but we do it every day. 0:53:43.120 --> 0:53:46.239 No relationships take commitment. When it's that much work, you 0:53:46.280 --> 0:53:49.600 know it's not gonna work. No, true, And you're right, 0:53:49.719 --> 0:53:52.200 like there is It is okay for someone to doubt something, 0:53:52.480 --> 0:53:55.080 but not okay for someone to completely say I'm out 0:53:55.080 --> 0:53:57.560 of the relationship. But you know one thing, Vanessa and 0:53:57.719 --> 0:54:00.560 Susan that you don't have to doubt or guess on 0:54:02.200 --> 0:54:07.360 that's twenty three and me, Oh, I know it's your favorite, Vanessa, 0:54:08.560 --> 0:54:11.480 it is your absolute favorite. So we've talked about twenty 0:54:11.520 --> 0:54:14.280 three and me many times on the podcast, So twenty 0:54:14.280 --> 0:54:16.600 three and Me helps you understand what your DNA can 0:54:16.640 --> 0:54:20.040 tell you about you and your family story. It's named 0:54:20.160 --> 0:54:22.719 for the twenty three pairs of chromosomes that make up 0:54:22.719 --> 0:54:25.560 our d N. A twenty three and Me Health and 0:54:25.680 --> 0:54:30.560 Ancestry service includes ninety personalized genetic reports that offers DNA 0:54:30.640 --> 0:54:33.600 insights on what makes you unique? Vanessa, Have you ever 0:54:33.600 --> 0:54:36.520 done twenty three and Me? I have? And it's actually 0:54:36.560 --> 0:54:39.719 really simple because I spoke about it. We always talked 0:54:39.719 --> 0:54:41.960 about on the podcast. I spoke about with my friends. 0:54:42.280 --> 0:54:44.960 This guy that actually recently went on a date with UM. 0:54:45.040 --> 0:54:46.960 He came by and I know, Susan, you talk about 0:54:47.000 --> 0:54:49.640 like being safe when it comes to dating and stuff 0:54:49.680 --> 0:54:50.920 like that, and I was reading some of your notes. 0:54:50.960 --> 0:54:52.520 I was like, ooop, see he came or he came 0:54:52.560 --> 0:54:54.480 to my house way too early. UM. But he's like, oh, 0:54:54.520 --> 0:54:56.439 I did twenty three and me testing and he saw 0:54:56.480 --> 0:54:59.440 that he had, like he started questioning his mom about 0:55:00.280 --> 0:55:03.280 their background and their history and stuff because he's UM, 0:55:03.320 --> 0:55:06.480 he's Eastern European and they anyways, he found some crazy 0:55:06.520 --> 0:55:08.759 stuff in there. And it's really simple. All you have 0:55:08.840 --> 0:55:11.520 to do is spit into a tube. Like literally, that's 0:55:11.520 --> 0:55:13.480 all you have to do. You spit into a tube 0:55:13.960 --> 0:55:16.400 that the twenty three and Me Kit provides. You register 0:55:16.480 --> 0:55:18.800 your sample to your personal twenty three and Me account, 0:55:19.160 --> 0:55:21.640 and then in a few weeks you receive a personalized 0:55:21.719 --> 0:55:25.319 online report and you can get so much information on this. 0:55:25.719 --> 0:55:29.319 You can learn how basically your genes they role in 0:55:29.360 --> 0:55:33.840 your well being and your lifestyle choices, like your muscle composition. Um, 0:55:33.880 --> 0:55:36.240 and I actually wanted to. I'm waiting for my result 0:55:36.280 --> 0:55:38.799 tests to come in, but I actually have like really 0:55:38.800 --> 0:55:41.200 good muscle memory compared to everyone else in my family, 0:55:41.239 --> 0:55:43.400 and I want to. I want my family members to 0:55:43.440 --> 0:55:45.719 do this too, so we can compare a result so 0:55:45.719 --> 0:55:48.080 I know he studies have found that almost all elite 0:55:48.080 --> 0:55:51.839 power athletes have a specific genetic variant in a gene 0:55:51.880 --> 0:55:53.600 related to a muscle composition. And I want to know 0:55:53.600 --> 0:55:55.360 if I have that gene. And you might find that 0:55:55.480 --> 0:55:57.319 version of that gene if you end up doing the test, 0:55:57.360 --> 0:55:59.000 and That's what I'm waiting to see. And the cool 0:55:59.040 --> 0:56:01.600 thing about twenty three you right now is that through 0:56:01.640 --> 0:56:04.680 December twenty five, the d n A twenty three and 0:56:04.760 --> 0:56:08.280 Me Kit is on sale. It makes for a perfect 0:56:08.320 --> 0:56:11.719 holiday gift all year, especially this time of year obviously. 0:56:11.960 --> 0:56:13.920 And now, like I said, through December twenty five, you 0:56:13.920 --> 0:56:17.440 can get thirty off any twenty three and me kit. 0:56:17.760 --> 0:56:19.520 You can order your d n A kit at twenty 0:56:19.560 --> 0:56:23.040 three and me dot com slash Dean. That's d E 0:56:23.320 --> 0:56:27.000 A N that's the number two three A N d 0:56:27.440 --> 0:56:31.239 M E dot com slash Dean. Check it out off 0:56:31.280 --> 0:56:34.640 now through December. You can get it as a family gift. 0:56:34.880 --> 0:56:36.600 I know a lot of people are looking to find 0:56:36.600 --> 0:56:39.480 out more about their heritage, more about their background. It's 0:56:39.520 --> 0:56:41.399 a it's a really cool gift. I'm excited to get 0:56:41.400 --> 0:56:44.839 my results back. Um, I believe I'm I'm I'm like 0:56:44.920 --> 0:56:47.959 about ten percent Native American. So I'm curious to see 0:56:47.960 --> 0:56:51.520 how accurate that is, Like is your life a lie 0:56:52.040 --> 0:56:54.080 or are you accurate? I mean, my life has always 0:56:54.080 --> 0:56:56.040 been a lie, and I'm just figuring out how much 0:56:56.040 --> 0:56:58.600 of a lie really is Um and Susan, I wanted 0:56:58.640 --> 0:57:00.440 to get back to a question that Vanessa had for 0:57:00.600 --> 0:57:04.200 you after I speak upon the legacy box, which is 0:57:04.239 --> 0:57:07.640 something that we can never forget about this podcast because 0:57:07.680 --> 0:57:10.320 how many times we mentioned the legacy box. The legacy continues, 0:57:10.480 --> 0:57:14.359 the legacy will forever continue. Um. So I've always been 0:57:14.440 --> 0:57:17.320 someone who I might not like going Christmas shopping for 0:57:17.320 --> 0:57:20.800 the family and friends, like I like shopping online. Right 0:57:20.880 --> 0:57:23.120 especially living in l A. I don't know what's Canada like? 0:57:23.840 --> 0:57:26.560 Oh no, are you kidding me? Girl? Canada? Right now? 0:57:26.600 --> 0:57:29.320 I'm looking up, but there's a snowstorm, so I don't 0:57:29.360 --> 0:57:32.959 want to say she's inside, she's inside. How much snow 0:57:32.960 --> 0:57:36.040 do you have there? Well, it just started snowing today 0:57:36.160 --> 0:57:39.200 and it's like really thick snow flicks soum and it's 0:57:39.240 --> 0:57:42.400 been like minus through. Yesterday was like minus twenty degrees. 0:57:42.800 --> 0:57:44.960 So I've been high aberrating and I've been doing a 0:57:44.960 --> 0:57:48.120 lot of online shopping a legacy box. I missed the 0:57:48.160 --> 0:57:52.040 snow so much. God, I can't wait to go back east. Um, 0:57:52.160 --> 0:57:54.800 I miss snow, but I certainly don't miss crowds. And 0:57:54.840 --> 0:57:56.600 anytime I go to a mall back home or even 0:57:56.640 --> 0:57:58.520 in l A, it's crazy this time of year. But 0:57:58.600 --> 0:58:01.280 with the Legacy Box, you and skip all of that. 0:58:01.320 --> 0:58:03.320 All you have to do is send your legacy box 0:58:03.360 --> 0:58:05.520 filled with all your home videos and pictures and then 0:58:05.560 --> 0:58:08.360 they'll do the rest for you. They have they help 0:58:08.400 --> 0:58:12.160 in professionally digitalizing your moments on a thumb drive, digital 0:58:12.200 --> 0:58:15.240 download or a DVD. This is actually a great gift 0:58:15.280 --> 0:58:17.760 for my grandparents because my grandparents they don't have social 0:58:17.760 --> 0:58:20.040 media and stuff, and like you know, they don't want 0:58:20.080 --> 0:58:22.560 to start rumbling like going through old boxes and things 0:58:22.560 --> 0:58:24.160 like that. They always say like, oh, you guys never 0:58:24.160 --> 0:58:25.800 send me pictures or there's never any videos, and I 0:58:25.840 --> 0:58:27.280 never really know what's going on in your life. And 0:58:27.280 --> 0:58:30.200 I don't have social media to keep myself updated. So 0:58:30.200 --> 0:58:33.120 I ways, this is actually a great idea. I'm getting 0:58:33.120 --> 0:58:36.120 a couple of pictures UM printed for them, and I'm 0:58:36.160 --> 0:58:38.840 getting them um the Legacy Box so they can not 0:58:39.600 --> 0:58:41.800 make me feel guilty about having a social media account 0:58:41.800 --> 0:58:44.200 and that they don't have it. So this is actually 0:58:44.280 --> 0:58:46.840 a great idea for them holidays. It's really easy to follow. 0:58:46.880 --> 0:58:49.720 The instructions are super simple, and they have safety bar 0:58:49.800 --> 0:58:53.000 codes that are included for every item. Legacy Box is 0:58:53.040 --> 0:58:57.480 the world's largest most trusted digitizer of home movies and photos. 0:58:57.600 --> 0:58:59.280 And I mean, this is something that I thought about too, 0:58:59.280 --> 0:59:01.080 and Mica is a lot of personal things that I'd 0:59:01.080 --> 0:59:04.000 be putting out there. But it's super secure, it's really safe, 0:59:04.040 --> 0:59:07.880 and it's done by hand right in the USA. Um So, 0:59:07.920 --> 0:59:10.880 there's never been a better time to do digitally preserve 0:59:11.000 --> 0:59:14.560 your memories. Visit legacy box dot com today to get started. 0:59:14.600 --> 0:59:18.880 Plus for a limited time get this, they're offering our 0:59:18.920 --> 0:59:23.080 listeners an exclusive discount, and who doesn't love exclusive discounts, 0:59:23.160 --> 0:59:25.240 especially around this time of the year. Go to legacy 0:59:25.280 --> 0:59:28.400 box dot com slash Dean. It's always Dean d E 0:59:28.600 --> 0:59:31.520 A N to get off your first order. So go 0:59:31.600 --> 0:59:35.000 to legacy box dot com slash Dean to get forty 0:59:35.080 --> 0:59:39.040 percent off your first order and get started preserving memories 0:59:39.040 --> 0:59:40.919 from your past. I mean, it's such a great idea, 0:59:41.000 --> 0:59:43.880 especially for this for the holidays. Um well, the code 0:59:43.880 --> 0:59:46.960 is always Dean because it's short, simple, easy to spell. 0:59:47.240 --> 0:59:50.240 And also they're not gonna have slash Vanessa that's very long, 0:59:50.240 --> 0:59:52.760 and they won't have slash Jared because I'm five letters. 0:59:52.800 --> 0:59:55.440 Dean is four letters. It just completely makes sense. And 0:59:55.440 --> 0:59:57.480 I've talked about on the podcast before about I have 0:59:57.480 --> 1:00:00.480 a home video at my house that's an hour and 1:00:00.480 --> 1:00:03.720 a half long from my ages like four to six, 1:00:03.960 --> 1:00:09.160 my dad with his VHS video camera. It's god. I 1:00:09.200 --> 1:00:11.760 miss those days. I wish I grew up in the nineties. 1:00:11.800 --> 1:00:14.320 I'm a nineties kid. I always have it always will be. 1:00:14.400 --> 1:00:16.680 But this home video is everything to me, and I'm 1:00:16.680 --> 1:00:19.280 always nervous that it's going to get destroyed because it's 1:00:19.280 --> 1:00:21.280 not an old VHS player and every time we put 1:00:21.280 --> 1:00:25.200 it in too, the old you know VHS DVD thing. 1:00:25.440 --> 1:00:27.360 I don't even know what the VHS player. I guess 1:00:27.360 --> 1:00:32.600 we'd call it a VCR Thank you Holy Molly. It's 1:00:32.600 --> 1:00:34.280 been a little while since I've used one of those, 1:00:34.360 --> 1:00:36.120 but I'm always concerned that the tapes are gonna get 1:00:36.160 --> 1:00:39.280 destroyed in the vs v c R because it hasn't 1:00:39.280 --> 1:00:41.560 been used in so long and legitimately the only time 1:00:41.600 --> 1:00:44.600 we use the VSR v c R C. It's been 1:00:44.640 --> 1:00:46.800 so long since I've used it, I don't even know 1:00:46.800 --> 1:00:49.280 how to say the letters properly. Well. Also, can I 1:00:49.320 --> 1:00:51.520 just say with the rain, there was somebody in I 1:00:51.640 --> 1:00:53.960 Heart where they shared like her cameras and all her 1:00:54.080 --> 1:00:58.800 like uh like USB stuff, all saved on in a 1:00:58.840 --> 1:01:01.760 box in her garage, and then it all got ruined. 1:01:02.360 --> 1:01:04.880 It was like all these pictures and photo albums. So 1:01:04.960 --> 1:01:07.360 it's like even in our generation like we keep things 1:01:07.400 --> 1:01:10.680 like safe and sound, but you just never know what happens. 1:01:10.680 --> 1:01:13.400 So just getting it all digital, like dig digitized, that 1:01:13.600 --> 1:01:16.720 is a tough words different. Um, it's so smart, like 1:01:16.760 --> 1:01:18.920 it doesn't have to be just VCR like doing it 1:01:19.000 --> 1:01:22.480 now is so crucial to those things in the USB. 1:01:22.840 --> 1:01:25.520 Put them in a nice little shelf, nobody sees them, 1:01:25.560 --> 1:01:27.919 not cluttery. Yeah, they won't get damaged by the rain 1:01:28.080 --> 1:01:31.680 or the v c R. Susan, I wanted to get 1:01:31.680 --> 1:01:34.240 back to a question that Vanessa asked you earlier before 1:01:34.280 --> 1:01:36.520 we started getting into all this, which is how to 1:01:36.680 --> 1:01:40.960 track a cheater? Mm hmm Okay, is this somebody that's 1:01:40.960 --> 1:01:46.200 actually cheating or just somebody that you know as a player. 1:01:46.320 --> 1:01:49.680 So so here's the thing, Okay, what what the relationship 1:01:49.720 --> 1:01:51.760 investigator title you're talking about is? So I have a 1:01:51.800 --> 1:01:56.800 background in liquidating for audent portfolios, so it's really easy, 1:01:56.880 --> 1:01:58.840 you know, like these are people that steal identities, like 1:01:58.920 --> 1:02:01.880 to figure out a condom artist, and so for a 1:02:01.920 --> 1:02:05.480 lot of my celebrity clients, I check out, um these 1:02:05.480 --> 1:02:08.720 people that come into their life. And I also use 1:02:08.800 --> 1:02:11.200 that expertise for all my matches and do my own 1:02:11.200 --> 1:02:13.520 background text so I can really tell. So when you 1:02:13.640 --> 1:02:16.560 track somebody that's lying, I mean when you're in a 1:02:16.560 --> 1:02:20.880 relationship and they're cheating. I mean, first of all, do 1:02:20.960 --> 1:02:24.800 they take their cell phone to the bathroom with them constantly? 1:02:25.720 --> 1:02:29.600 Is it like lockdown like Fort Knox, right, going in 1:02:29.640 --> 1:02:32.920 the shower with them and they're like, you're crazy, You're crazy, 1:02:33.080 --> 1:02:34.480 I just need my phone with me all the time. 1:02:34.520 --> 1:02:36.520 I'm just used to it, right, So that is like 1:02:36.560 --> 1:02:40.200 a big sign um. You know, they're obviously talking on 1:02:40.240 --> 1:02:43.800 their phone to someone and you just don't know who 1:02:43.840 --> 1:02:46.160 it is, and they're not really open. So when you're 1:02:46.200 --> 1:02:49.520 in a relationship, I mean the person you know, this 1:02:49.600 --> 1:02:52.360 is like an open book, right, so you know everything, 1:02:52.360 --> 1:02:55.160 But suddenly you don't feel that you know everything. You 1:02:55.200 --> 1:02:59.320 feel crazy. Okay, So you might not be that person 1:02:59.680 --> 1:03:03.560 that it um checks up on them constantly and looking 1:03:03.560 --> 1:03:07.160 through their cell phone and looking at text messages or 1:03:07.320 --> 1:03:12.960 checking their calendar. But suddenly you're snooping, right, because they 1:03:13.160 --> 1:03:15.920 are inciting that in you. If you are not a 1:03:16.000 --> 1:03:18.760 jealous individual and you're feeling that you're picking up, you're 1:03:18.800 --> 1:03:21.320 going to say something, Yeah, well I wanted to ask 1:03:21.360 --> 1:03:24.760 me something, so I totally agree, your intuition kicks and 1:03:24.800 --> 1:03:27.040 you're like, I don't know, I feel like something is up. 1:03:27.640 --> 1:03:29.880 But sometimes like you might be in that mode where 1:03:29.920 --> 1:03:32.360 you get super insecure, so you always feel like something 1:03:32.440 --> 1:03:34.560 is up. So you have to determine whether it's you 1:03:34.720 --> 1:03:37.000 going like, oh my god, like there's too much on 1:03:37.000 --> 1:03:41.919 your head. So if you're dating someone and you're over 1:03:42.000 --> 1:03:44.640 at their house and they happen to leave the house, 1:03:45.480 --> 1:03:47.480 do you and I think I may have asked you 1:03:47.520 --> 1:03:51.840 this last time, should you encourage people to kind of 1:03:51.840 --> 1:03:56.080 snoop around just to see what the person is up to? 1:03:56.360 --> 1:04:00.520 Like you're smirking as if you have had personal experience 1:04:00.600 --> 1:04:03.880 with this. Of course I've done this. I've done this. 1:04:05.200 --> 1:04:07.760 I haven't like gone like real deep into drawers and stuff, 1:04:07.760 --> 1:04:10.200 but if there's something I just want to like, oh 1:04:10.280 --> 1:04:12.880 what's this? Like? Oh I just want to connect the 1:04:12.880 --> 1:04:16.760 dots sometimes, you know? Is that? Is that not encouraged? 1:04:17.160 --> 1:04:20.760 It's not encouraged. She shouldn't do that, right, Um, it's okay. 1:04:20.800 --> 1:04:23.160 I mean, don't like beat yourself up if you do. 1:04:23.640 --> 1:04:25.440 I mean a lot of people do this. But what 1:04:25.480 --> 1:04:30.120 I'm saying is that crazy sense of snooping that usually 1:04:30.200 --> 1:04:33.320 means something's up. And I'm gonna tell you something. A 1:04:33.440 --> 1:04:37.800 h of the people that have ever thought something was up, 1:04:38.920 --> 1:04:44.880 you know, we're right, absolutely Okay. You know a crazy 1:04:44.920 --> 1:04:46.640 person when they come to you, you know, they think 1:04:46.680 --> 1:04:49.360 everybody's scheeting whatever, like a jealous person. You know that, 1:04:49.520 --> 1:04:52.080 you know, And I'm gonna take that a little step 1:04:52.080 --> 1:04:54.040 further with my background, like all right, no, no, no, 1:04:54.080 --> 1:04:57.320 I was gonna say, so somebody like wrong, They're never wrong. 1:04:57.360 --> 1:05:01.280 Peop a crazy jealous person every days, like they're cheating 1:05:01.320 --> 1:05:04.840 on me. That's that's different. Like that is like, that's 1:05:04.840 --> 1:05:07.880 what I'm saying. That's the exception. And everybody knows somebody 1:05:08.000 --> 1:05:11.640 like that, right, I mean that's an abusive person really okay, 1:05:11.640 --> 1:05:12.880 Like if you have that and a guy and he's 1:05:12.880 --> 1:05:16.000 always like, oh you were five minutes late? Where were you? What? 1:05:16.280 --> 1:05:18.400 I mean, they're crazy, they're abusive. I've seen women like 1:05:18.440 --> 1:05:22.120 that with guys whatever. You know, that's on the side, right, 1:05:22.160 --> 1:05:24.960 that doesn't count. But people that think they're being cheated on. 1:05:25.040 --> 1:05:27.880 You're dating someone, you're you're married, you're in a long 1:05:28.000 --> 1:05:30.920 term relationship, whatever. You suddenly everything has been great and 1:05:30.960 --> 1:05:34.560 you suddenly think they're cheating on you, And it's not 1:05:34.640 --> 1:05:37.720 just like this fleeting thought anyway. The bottom line is 1:05:37.760 --> 1:05:40.600 you're right, and not only are you right, a lot 1:05:40.640 --> 1:05:43.840 of times you know the person they're cheating with if 1:05:43.840 --> 1:05:45.760 you had to search and and I think, like I said, 1:05:45.760 --> 1:05:47.600 I'm gonna take this back, if you had like a 1:05:47.640 --> 1:05:51.680 relationship um fraud, like somebody stole from you, like committed 1:05:51.880 --> 1:05:54.720 identity for all against you in its relationship, not being 1:05:54.840 --> 1:05:58.680 like just some random fraud rings stealing a bunch of identities, 1:05:58.720 --> 1:06:01.240 but like if somebody you know that you came into 1:06:01.240 --> 1:06:03.520 contact with, and it doesn't mean you know them personally 1:06:03.560 --> 1:06:05.520 to be somebody you work with, it stole your identity. 1:06:05.800 --> 1:06:07.840 You know that's been in my background. If it's a 1:06:07.880 --> 1:06:10.959 relationship fraud, you always know. I shouldn't say a hundred 1:06:10.960 --> 1:06:13.400 percent at the time, but I've had numerous people who know. 1:06:13.800 --> 1:06:16.320 But let me tell you about cheating. Like I remember 1:06:16.360 --> 1:06:18.640 this lady coming to me and she said, can you 1:06:19.200 --> 1:06:22.160 I think my husband's cheating on me, and I think 1:06:22.200 --> 1:06:25.320 he's living someplace with this woman he set up another residence. 1:06:25.360 --> 1:06:27.360 And I said, well, why do you think that? And 1:06:27.400 --> 1:06:30.080 she said, I found this toll ticket way back when 1:06:30.240 --> 1:06:32.640 and so anyway, the bottom line was, I said, well, 1:06:32.680 --> 1:06:34.280 who do you think he's cheating with? And she knew 1:06:34.280 --> 1:06:36.120 And a lot of people know that you know in 1:06:36.160 --> 1:06:38.880 your heart of hearts, and if you've come across that person, 1:06:38.960 --> 1:06:41.240 met that person, you kind of can connect the dots, 1:06:41.480 --> 1:06:43.720 which isn't the same as jealousy. You just kind of 1:06:43.760 --> 1:06:46.600 know because you're connected, right, call it some sort of 1:06:46.640 --> 1:06:49.440 cosmic connection. Yeah, but I really don't even know that 1:06:49.440 --> 1:06:53.480 it's cosmic. You're just so you know, bonded that you 1:06:53.520 --> 1:06:58.720 know when something's off, and you also know, like I 1:06:58.720 --> 1:07:00.600 don't know, maybe it was unconscious she picked up on 1:07:00.720 --> 1:07:03.160 something with the other person that when you met them. Yeah. 1:07:03.680 --> 1:07:05.680 Um so, Susan, I want you to talk a little 1:07:05.680 --> 1:07:09.400 bit about your your matchmaking as well. So you offer 1:07:09.440 --> 1:07:12.040 a service, you say you're a celebrity matchmaker. You can't 1:07:12.080 --> 1:07:15.160 disclose any celebrity that you've worked with. Let me see. 1:07:15.480 --> 1:07:18.920 Um no, but well I guess I can. I have 1:07:19.000 --> 1:07:25.480 confidentiality agreements, but um so, my contract automatically gives confidentiality. 1:07:25.560 --> 1:07:29.080 I did fix up Sarah Silverman in September for her show, 1:07:29.160 --> 1:07:33.520 so I could say that, um so this was aired. Yeah, 1:07:34.080 --> 1:07:36.240 I love America. But it wasn't exactly you know, it 1:07:36.320 --> 1:07:38.880 was an authentic match. But you know I heard later 1:07:38.920 --> 1:07:40.440 she said on Howard Stern, I think that she was 1:07:40.480 --> 1:07:42.680 never going to marry him because he wasn't Jewish. But 1:07:42.720 --> 1:07:45.320 you know, that's not how I delivered what they asked 1:07:45.320 --> 1:07:48.000 me to deliver, which you know, I'm not a magician, 1:07:48.200 --> 1:07:49.720 but I got as close as I could. She on 1:07:49.880 --> 1:07:53.320 her show examines you know, other people's values, so that's 1:07:53.320 --> 1:07:55.000 what she was doing. And it was a great match. 1:07:56.280 --> 1:07:59.160 Oh my god, she's lovely. Yeah, she is lovely. I 1:07:59.160 --> 1:08:02.280 mean she's mark, she's funny. I mean she's a really 1:08:02.360 --> 1:08:06.320 great package. And she's filthy dirty. Yeah, she's fantastic. You know. 1:08:06.760 --> 1:08:08.720 So he's like she said some really crazy things and 1:08:09.000 --> 1:08:12.480 you know, I just thought it was hilarious. She's really cool. Yeah, 1:08:13.200 --> 1:08:17.760 he's lovely. Might be wondering this. Can people who come 1:08:17.840 --> 1:08:22.240 to you and you just for the line detection or 1:08:22.320 --> 1:08:25.400 the tracking? Yes, so, um, you can go at exclusive 1:08:25.400 --> 1:08:28.000 matchmaking dot net. I do a service called Investigate your Date. 1:08:28.360 --> 1:08:31.160 I'll check them out. I'm not a private investigator, you know, 1:08:31.200 --> 1:08:33.280 so I'm not out there. That's what a private investigator does. 1:08:33.320 --> 1:08:35.240 They get footage. But I can tell you a lot 1:08:35.280 --> 1:08:39.000 more things, like, for example, like listen, you can if 1:08:39.040 --> 1:08:40.840 you're in a relationship with some money, you're living together, 1:08:40.960 --> 1:08:43.559 you can get their text messages, right, you can set 1:08:43.600 --> 1:08:46.280 your phone settings like their face, and you can find 1:08:46.280 --> 1:08:48.519 out a lot Like there's all sorts of like little tricks. 1:08:48.920 --> 1:08:50.720 But at the end of the day, I mean, you 1:08:50.760 --> 1:08:52.280 know what you know. I mean, I go back to 1:08:52.320 --> 1:08:54.519 that gut instinct. But yeah, if you want to come, 1:08:54.720 --> 1:08:57.640 that's all it is. Confirmation you want the photos, all right. 1:08:57.960 --> 1:09:00.360 But a lot of times dating today, you know, I'll 1:09:00.400 --> 1:09:01.800 have people to come to me and I'll be like, 1:09:01.920 --> 1:09:04.720 it's really a scam. I think a financial scams run 1:09:04.840 --> 1:09:07.960 rampant on online dating. That's like the biggest scam. And 1:09:08.040 --> 1:09:10.360 like they might come to me, um and say, well, 1:09:10.400 --> 1:09:12.439 you know, i'm dating this woman. I don't ask me 1:09:12.439 --> 1:09:14.400 why they keep dating her, you know, but I know 1:09:14.479 --> 1:09:16.840 she has a different name. I think she's married. But 1:09:16.960 --> 1:09:19.599 she's getting money from me. She's I've given her hundreds 1:09:19.640 --> 1:09:21.840 of thousands of dollars and she's now blocked me on 1:09:21.880 --> 1:09:26.320 all social media. And these are like really incredible man, right, 1:09:26.360 --> 1:09:28.640 and she's telling me she's in a village, you know, 1:09:28.680 --> 1:09:32.320 with her grandmother, you know, in South America. But I 1:09:33.000 --> 1:09:35.320 think she's right here with her husband. You probably find 1:09:35.320 --> 1:09:37.360 her in a restaurant. So you know, it's not like 1:09:37.400 --> 1:09:39.960 I'm out there. I would hire a private investigator to 1:09:40.000 --> 1:09:42.040 get the photos. Don't ask me why anybody would get 1:09:42.080 --> 1:09:43.880 in that deep. But at that point, I think they 1:09:43.880 --> 1:09:46.360 were like totally tricked and sucked in. And you know, 1:09:47.520 --> 1:09:50.400 a beautiful woman, uh, you know, a man grasping at 1:09:50.439 --> 1:09:53.160 her and what he thought she really was, but she's 1:09:53.200 --> 1:09:54.920 really just a gun or has you got to look out? 1:09:54.960 --> 1:09:57.800 There's a lot of them, Yeah, but most of it's 1:09:57.840 --> 1:10:00.400 just like is he married? Is she married? You know, 1:10:00.439 --> 1:10:03.519 dig up their past. Um, that's the kind of stuff 1:10:03.560 --> 1:10:05.640 I do. So I like to call myself really like 1:10:05.680 --> 1:10:09.160 a matchmaker to the rich and famous. Um. But we 1:10:09.240 --> 1:10:13.040 are rolling out a new service for you know, young professionals. Um. 1:10:13.080 --> 1:10:15.920 That's a big demographic. You know, they're really frustrated with 1:10:16.000 --> 1:10:18.599 these dating apps. I mean, and like I said, it's 1:10:18.920 --> 1:10:21.360 you know, it's next, next, next. Is there ever really 1:10:21.439 --> 1:10:23.240 a connection? I mean, I do know people that have 1:10:23.320 --> 1:10:26.439 met married, but you know, people don't take a good 1:10:26.520 --> 1:10:28.680 hard look at the person in front of them and 1:10:28.760 --> 1:10:31.679 the ruling amount for all the wrong reasons. Well, Susan, 1:10:31.720 --> 1:10:35.240 where else canna people find you? Um exclusive matchmaking dot net. 1:10:35.520 --> 1:10:40.080 You can reach out on Twitter at exclusive underscore match. Um. 1:10:40.240 --> 1:10:42.799 I love to tweet about the Bachelor and the Bachelor. 1:10:43.040 --> 1:10:46.720 Are you alive tweeter? Do you tweet live during the show? Yes? 1:10:46.760 --> 1:10:49.400 I do. Well, that's man, that is a true fan 1:10:49.600 --> 1:10:52.320 right that I started doing that. Um, after I met 1:10:52.320 --> 1:10:56.519 one of the Bachelor's they just like really enjoyed Tachelor Nation. Um. Well, 1:10:56.560 --> 1:11:00.599 I had Chris in christ Souls for my dating camp 1:11:00.920 --> 1:11:03.479 and you know, he was lovely, wonderful and you know, 1:11:04.600 --> 1:11:06.519 you know, it was great and I just loved meeting 1:11:06.520 --> 1:11:09.800 a lot of the folks totally. That's pretty cool. Well, 1:11:09.880 --> 1:11:12.320 Susan Trombretti, thank you so much for coming in. You 1:11:12.360 --> 1:11:14.880 are incredible and we'd love to have you back anytime. 1:11:15.000 --> 1:11:17.320 I'd love to come back perfect. Well, you'll be back, 1:11:17.680 --> 1:11:20.880 good luck, all right, thanks Susan. Vanessa. I'm having a 1:11:20.920 --> 1:11:24.040 mini panic attack because I just realized that two weeks 1:11:24.200 --> 1:11:27.519 from today is Christmas. But I haven't done any of 1:11:27.520 --> 1:11:31.080 my shopping, which is a real issue. Um, But what 1:11:31.160 --> 1:11:33.839 I look forward to at Christmas is obviously the holiday 1:11:33.880 --> 1:11:37.400 parties where the family gets together. Nobody drives, everybody you know, 1:11:37.479 --> 1:11:39.640 takes uber as we get a little slashed. It's a 1:11:39.680 --> 1:11:42.040 good time. Van Alsa. You hosting Christmas party this year? 1:11:42.400 --> 1:11:44.599 I am. So I've basically been living in my new 1:11:44.640 --> 1:11:48.559 place since I I've been back home so like since May, 1:11:48.600 --> 1:11:50.680 and no one has really been here. Um and my 1:11:50.720 --> 1:11:52.960 parents are divorce. If just put my time equally during 1:11:52.960 --> 1:11:54.719 the holidays, and I kind of want to have everyone 1:11:54.760 --> 1:11:59.719 get together. You do, and so we all have Like Luckily, 1:11:59.760 --> 1:12:02.240 there's not many people, um, like in l A who 1:12:02.240 --> 1:12:05.120 are like gluten intolerant or have like all these allergies 1:12:05.120 --> 1:12:07.200 and stuff. But that's a great thing about Thrive Market. 1:12:07.400 --> 1:12:09.200 There's so many great snacks and things that you can 1:12:09.200 --> 1:12:11.120 get for people who do have those allergies. Like I 1:12:11.120 --> 1:12:12.960 have a friend who's allergic to peanuts and gluten and 1:12:13.000 --> 1:12:15.439 eggs and whatever, and so I pulled up the Thrive 1:12:15.479 --> 1:12:17.280 Market website and we went through like a bunch of 1:12:17.280 --> 1:12:19.479 items that I know I can get for her that 1:12:19.600 --> 1:12:23.559 she can specifically buy and and eat and enjoy. Like 1:12:23.600 --> 1:12:27.400 my sister is obsessed to another level. At one point 1:12:27.479 --> 1:12:29.320 I accidentally bought the wrong box. But you know, the 1:12:29.400 --> 1:12:34.479 Simple Mills Crunchy chocolate chip cookies. They're gluten free and 1:12:34.520 --> 1:12:36.920 they're like super healthy and yeah, so they're like gluten 1:12:36.920 --> 1:12:39.200 free and she's obsessed with those. So I got a 1:12:39.280 --> 1:12:41.760 few boxes for her so when she does come over 1:12:41.840 --> 1:12:44.760 for the holidays she can feast off of that. I 1:12:44.760 --> 1:12:46.920 don't know if there's any specific items that you off 1:12:47.160 --> 1:12:49.080 that you love off of five Market, but there's this honey, 1:12:49.400 --> 1:12:52.160 organic honey that I put in my um. I've been 1:12:52.240 --> 1:12:53.720 sick for like the last two weeks, so this is 1:12:53.800 --> 1:12:55.639 I forgot what the name is, but it's an organic 1:12:55.640 --> 1:12:58.599 honey company that I bought off of Thrive Market UM 1:12:58.640 --> 1:13:00.479 that I put in my in my tea every morning. 1:13:00.800 --> 1:13:03.320 Am I excited about Thrive Market? Have you met me? 1:13:03.400 --> 1:13:06.040 I'm currently standing up in studio with a box of 1:13:06.120 --> 1:13:09.759 Thrive Market right next to me, pulling out items. For example, 1:13:09.840 --> 1:13:12.800 the almond butter creamy. I love peanut butter, but I 1:13:12.960 --> 1:13:14.439 have that. I have that in the morning and I 1:13:14.479 --> 1:13:16.519 put my honey and I dress a honey over on 1:13:16.560 --> 1:13:18.880 top of that on my on my tilt every morning. 1:13:19.520 --> 1:13:21.800 It's my favorite. I love peanut butter, but I love 1:13:21.800 --> 1:13:24.000 the almond butter better one because it's healthier and too, 1:13:24.000 --> 1:13:26.320 it tastes exactly the same. I also love the garlic 1:13:26.320 --> 1:13:29.760 ali mayo because it's made with real avocado oil. I 1:13:29.760 --> 1:13:31.840 don't know what that means, but it tastes fantastic and 1:13:31.880 --> 1:13:34.120 it's healthier for me, so I'm all about it. I 1:13:34.160 --> 1:13:38.080 also like snacks. We got the cheddar snack mixed right here. Um, 1:13:38.720 --> 1:13:41.320 we have ranch dressing with avocado oil, so pretty much 1:13:41.320 --> 1:13:43.280 everything is made with avocado oil to make it healthier, 1:13:43.280 --> 1:13:46.240 but it tastes exactly the same. And Thrive is so cool. 1:13:46.360 --> 1:13:49.360 It's so awesome. It's an online marketplace and it makes 1:13:49.360 --> 1:13:53.599 healthy living easy and affordable, which is perfect because I'm 1:13:53.680 --> 1:13:56.120 very cheap. It's like hopeful it's but just way better 1:13:56.120 --> 1:13:58.160 because it gets delivered to your door, which is pretty cool. 1:13:58.320 --> 1:14:00.240 You can shop for thousands of the best selling non 1:14:00.320 --> 1:14:03.160 gmo foods and natural part of products. Like we said, 1:14:03.320 --> 1:14:05.880 I love the almond butter. That's absolutely my favorite. It's 1:14:05.920 --> 1:14:08.880 non gmo, it's organic, and it's creamy, which makes it 1:14:08.920 --> 1:14:12.360 even more fantastic. On top of dry market prices being 1:14:12.439 --> 1:14:16.720 up to off, they're also giving us our listeners an 1:14:16.720 --> 1:14:21.439 extra off your first order and a free thirty day trial. 1:14:21.880 --> 1:14:23.400 So all you have to do is go to thrive 1:14:23.479 --> 1:14:26.760 Market dot com slash Dean. Everything is Dean, but like 1:14:26.800 --> 1:14:30.040 we talked about, it's very simple. That's d E A N. 1:14:30.400 --> 1:14:32.360 There's no code necessary. Like we said, all you have 1:14:32.360 --> 1:14:34.280 to do is go to Thrive Market dot com slash 1:14:34.400 --> 1:14:38.559 Dean and the discount will automatically be applied to the checkout. 1:14:38.920 --> 1:14:41.599 I love Thrive Market. It's delivered to our door pretty 1:14:41.680 --> 1:14:44.080 much every two weeks, I'd say I get a new 1:14:44.080 --> 1:14:46.400 box of Thrive Market. It makes it way easier than 1:14:46.439 --> 1:14:48.479 going to the grocery store because Whole Foods, I'm there 1:14:48.520 --> 1:14:51.120 for like an hour and a half. It's very expensive 1:14:51.360 --> 1:14:56.160 between parking, driving, they're coming home, unloading the groceries, and 1:14:56.200 --> 1:14:59.400 then cooking it all myself. It's exhausting. That's why thrives 1:14:59.439 --> 1:15:01.599 really awesome because it's not just food as well. They 1:15:01.600 --> 1:15:03.479 have a lot of beauty products on there. They have 1:15:03.520 --> 1:15:06.200 household cleaners. I'm on their website right now and I'm 1:15:06.200 --> 1:15:08.679 looking at some of their makeup line. They have, like um, 1:15:08.760 --> 1:15:12.120 you know Jessica Album's line, The Honest company. They have 1:15:12.160 --> 1:15:14.040 like a bunch of products from the Honest Company, which 1:15:14.120 --> 1:15:16.600 I love. It's really like their their body washes and 1:15:16.680 --> 1:15:20.120 stuff like that. Their hands so they have fragrant fragrances. 1:15:20.240 --> 1:15:24.240 They have a section for men's skincare, to nails, lip care. 1:15:24.479 --> 1:15:26.880 I mean, the list goes on and on. There's even 1:15:27.040 --> 1:15:29.519 things for babies and kids, which a lot of my 1:15:29.560 --> 1:15:33.400 friends are popping out babies like a lot nowadays, and 1:15:33.400 --> 1:15:35.840 I'm like, I have baby fever, but I got myself 1:15:35.880 --> 1:15:37.800 a man first. They have stuff for the home, stuff 1:15:37.840 --> 1:15:41.320 for your pets. They even have a holiday section. This 1:15:41.360 --> 1:15:43.719 works out perfectly for you because for your holiday party, 1:15:43.760 --> 1:15:45.599 you can not only shop for the food that you're 1:15:45.600 --> 1:15:47.880 gonna cook for everybody, but you can also shop for 1:15:47.960 --> 1:15:50.000 the household products that you're going to clean your house 1:15:50.040 --> 1:15:53.559 with before everybody comes over. Yes, you know it. Yeah, 1:15:53.600 --> 1:15:56.800 and they have like organic non GMO products. Um. I'm 1:15:56.840 --> 1:15:59.360 online now and I'm looking. There's an organic kimono white 1:15:59.439 --> 1:16:03.800 robe which looks super cozy and it's off. So I'm 1:16:03.840 --> 1:16:06.880 just looking on their website. There's so many discounts, um, 1:16:06.920 --> 1:16:09.080 and there's just so many different products. I mean, you 1:16:09.120 --> 1:16:12.000 literally can do your groceries. You can buy Christmas gifts 1:16:12.040 --> 1:16:14.840 on this thing. Um. Drive Market is just like my 1:16:14.920 --> 1:16:19.439 new obsession. It is truly an online market. It's an 1:16:19.439 --> 1:16:22.559 online grocery store, which is really cool because everybody needs 1:16:22.600 --> 1:16:24.680 to go to a grocery store, including myself, and it's 1:16:24.680 --> 1:16:27.200 annoying and I hate it. But now Thrive makes it 1:16:27.240 --> 1:16:29.800 a lot easier, and they're a lot cheaper. Like we said, 1:16:29.800 --> 1:16:33.280 their prices are already usually about fift off compared to 1:16:33.360 --> 1:16:36.080 other market prices, and now they're giving you, guys an 1:16:36.080 --> 1:16:40.800 extra off and for your your first order and a 1:16:40.880 --> 1:16:43.080 free thirty day trial. Once again, all I have, dudes, 1:16:43.120 --> 1:16:46.120 go to Thrive market dot com slash dean that's Thrive 1:16:46.160 --> 1:16:50.360 market dot com slash d e a n. We have 1:16:50.400 --> 1:16:52.679 an email, don't we Yes, indeed we do. Sky needs 1:16:52.720 --> 1:16:54.320 your help and she'd like you to weigh out in 1:16:54.320 --> 1:16:57.160 her situation. If you don't mind, we don't mind. I 1:16:57.200 --> 1:16:58.760 went on a first date last week with a guy 1:16:58.760 --> 1:17:00.760 I met off Hinge. The date went really well. By 1:17:00.800 --> 1:17:02.479 the time I got home, he texted me about hanging 1:17:02.479 --> 1:17:05.280 out again the next day. He suggested a movie at 1:17:05.280 --> 1:17:08.120 his place on Saturday. Well, I wanted to avoid the 1:17:08.120 --> 1:17:10.479 Netflix and Chill second date, so I said I was busy, 1:17:10.520 --> 1:17:13.080 and we agreed to a brunch date soon. So on Saturday, 1:17:13.160 --> 1:17:15.320 I went to show my friends profile and check out 1:17:15.320 --> 1:17:17.960 this guy went out with and he wasn't in my matches. 1:17:18.960 --> 1:17:21.559 He either unmatched me or deleted his account, and I 1:17:21.560 --> 1:17:23.920 have not heard from him. I should note I did 1:17:23.920 --> 1:17:26.200 some Facebook creeping and discovered he just got out of 1:17:26.200 --> 1:17:28.760 a four year relationship about a month ago. Could this 1:17:28.840 --> 1:17:31.000 ghosting be due to the sudden realization of his that 1:17:31.040 --> 1:17:33.800 he isn't ready to date or is there potentially something else. 1:17:34.120 --> 1:17:35.800 I was so excited about a first day that I 1:17:35.840 --> 1:17:38.679 finally enjoyed, and now I'm left more confused than ever. 1:17:39.160 --> 1:17:43.040 Do we really need to answer this? I mean, sky, 1:17:43.080 --> 1:17:45.000 I do want to answer this? Well, of course I'm 1:17:45.000 --> 1:17:48.919 gonna answer it. No, Okay. So I have mixed emotions 1:17:48.920 --> 1:17:50.920 about the whole, like it wanted it too early to 1:17:50.960 --> 1:17:53.880 start dating someone and he just got he recently got 1:17:53.880 --> 1:17:56.280 out of a four year relationship a month ago. That 1:17:56.600 --> 1:17:59.200 is like, okay, is he ready to seriously commit to 1:17:59.320 --> 1:18:02.080 another relations ship orthy just looking to date around? So 1:18:03.080 --> 1:18:04.599 I was so excepting my first day that I finally 1:18:04.680 --> 1:18:06.719 enjoyed it now and left more confused than ever. Well, 1:18:06.760 --> 1:18:08.840 you know what if he if he unmatched you, if 1:18:08.840 --> 1:18:13.400 he doesn't have a profile anymore on where where would 1:18:13.439 --> 1:18:18.439 you meet him on hand? Then literally just move on 1:18:18.720 --> 1:18:21.000 to the next guy you're on a dating app. I'm 1:18:21.000 --> 1:18:24.400 sure there's more fish in the sea. Um. I wouldn't 1:18:24.400 --> 1:18:27.040 worry too much about him, and I would suggest to 1:18:27.200 --> 1:18:29.800 not go down a deep dark hole and start to 1:18:29.840 --> 1:18:31.920 do a bunch of research and try to connect the dots. 1:18:32.000 --> 1:18:35.479 It's pretty simple, whatever the case is. If you guys, 1:18:35.439 --> 1:18:37.360 guys aren't meeting up, and you guys are meeting up 1:18:37.400 --> 1:18:39.639 on the Saturday, and there's all these like red flags 1:18:39.680 --> 1:18:43.120 like don't I would be like, run as fast as 1:18:43.160 --> 1:18:46.360 you can. Yeah. Absolutely, this guy absolutely just wanted to 1:18:46.360 --> 1:18:49.600 sleep with you. I mean that's what it appears to me. 1:18:49.920 --> 1:18:52.439 He went on a date, found that you were cute, 1:18:52.680 --> 1:18:55.360 invited you over to his house the next night. You 1:18:55.439 --> 1:18:58.000 said no because you didn't want to do the Netflix 1:18:58.000 --> 1:19:01.960 and chill, completely understandable. And then the next day he 1:19:02.160 --> 1:19:07.920 unmatches you and unfriends you. Of course, out women are 1:19:07.960 --> 1:19:10.880 so sweet and kind, you know that She's like, we 1:19:11.000 --> 1:19:12.840 only want you know what I looked into it, and 1:19:12.880 --> 1:19:14.600 he just got off a relationship. He must not be 1:19:14.640 --> 1:19:17.519 ready to day yet that's not how guys thinks. Not 1:19:17.720 --> 1:19:20.960 completely different. God, well, hey, I've been out of the 1:19:20.960 --> 1:19:22.960 game a while, but this guy just got dump He's 1:19:22.960 --> 1:19:24.960 looking to get back on the horse as quickly as possible. 1:19:25.000 --> 1:19:26.960 And that's the difference with men and women. Men like 1:19:27.040 --> 1:19:29.160 to get out there and get it going again. Women 1:19:29.240 --> 1:19:31.439 like to kind of be sad for a little bit, 1:19:31.479 --> 1:19:34.320 and then usually what happens is it reverses. Women after 1:19:34.360 --> 1:19:36.040 a couple of weeks get over it and want to 1:19:36.040 --> 1:19:38.160 get out there. Man after a couple of weeks realize 1:19:38.160 --> 1:19:39.800 what they're missing and they go through a little bit 1:19:39.800 --> 1:19:42.120 of a sad time too. But the couple of days 1:19:42.160 --> 1:19:43.960 after he broke up, he's looking to get out there 1:19:44.000 --> 1:19:46.000 and make something happen. And that's where you came in 1:19:46.080 --> 1:19:47.720 this guy. And I'm sorry that he wasn't for you, 1:19:47.760 --> 1:19:49.760 but it sounds like it wasn't okay, Scott, you were 1:19:49.800 --> 1:19:51.920 going to be the rebound girl. It worked out well 1:19:51.960 --> 1:19:54.080 that it's in that you guys didn't end up hanging out. 1:19:54.120 --> 1:19:56.240 He just got out of a long term relationship. Like 1:19:56.320 --> 1:19:58.559 Mark said, he's just getting back into the game. He's 1:19:58.560 --> 1:20:01.599 single now and he's wrankling ready to mingle, and you weren't, 1:20:01.600 --> 1:20:04.479 which is completely fine. And he was like, okay, well 1:20:04.520 --> 1:20:05.920 I'm onto the next you know what. Take it as 1:20:05.920 --> 1:20:08.760 a compliment. He thought you were really hot. Yeah, yeah, 1:20:09.000 --> 1:20:12.120 there you go. Yeah, so there you go. That's pretty good. 1:20:12.280 --> 1:20:13.800 We want to do the Alexis one. Well, that one 1:20:13.880 --> 1:20:16.160 is kind of Dean centric, but we can run through it. 1:20:16.320 --> 1:20:18.280 Let's try it. And she just broke up after four 1:20:18.360 --> 1:20:20.960 years and she wants to travel around alone to a 1:20:20.960 --> 1:20:22.960 different country or even just a different state. She lives 1:20:22.960 --> 1:20:25.160 on Long Island, New York. I'd love to hear any 1:20:25.160 --> 1:20:27.839 and all recommendations of a place that's solo travel or friendly, 1:20:27.920 --> 1:20:30.960 especially from Dean, since he travels alone so frequently, and 1:20:31.000 --> 1:20:33.080 if Dean needs a travel buddy, she's willing to be 1:20:33.160 --> 1:20:35.599 that person. Thank you in advance. Where have you guys 1:20:35.640 --> 1:20:38.240 gone that you could recommend to Alexis? The first thing 1:20:38.240 --> 1:20:41.360 I would recommend to Alexis is there is a difference 1:20:41.360 --> 1:20:44.200 between a guy traveling alone and a girl traveling alone. 1:20:44.280 --> 1:20:47.040 So please, wherever you go, do a lot of research. 1:20:47.080 --> 1:20:50.320 If you end up going alone, and be safe, you know, 1:20:50.479 --> 1:20:52.800 just if you go to some sort of resort, don't 1:20:52.840 --> 1:20:56.160 leave that area, things of that nature. Uh for me, 1:20:56.800 --> 1:20:58.960 I don't know, go to Hawaii it worked out for 1:20:58.960 --> 1:21:04.040 forgetting Sarah Marshall. You know, UM, I don't know as 1:21:04.080 --> 1:21:07.400 a female, I'm I don't think I feel safe traveling 1:21:07.439 --> 1:21:10.280 by myself, especially because like nowadays, the way I travel, 1:21:10.360 --> 1:21:12.040 I just go with the flow and I don't really 1:21:12.040 --> 1:21:14.439 have I don't know where I'm staying with hotel, staying out, 1:21:14.439 --> 1:21:16.240 where to go eat and whatever, so I would always 1:21:16.240 --> 1:21:20.040 have to connect with strangers. Um. So maybe I would suggest, 1:21:20.080 --> 1:21:24.679 like find a friend who is supportive of what you're 1:21:24.680 --> 1:21:27.800 going through, or maybe someone that is in the same 1:21:27.840 --> 1:21:29.680 position as you, and make it a girl's trip, like 1:21:29.720 --> 1:21:31.599 you and another girl and just like go hang out. 1:21:31.600 --> 1:21:34.960 Are you and your sister or um? I don't I 1:21:35.000 --> 1:21:37.360 don't know. Dean travels quite a bit by himself, so 1:21:37.439 --> 1:21:40.400 he probably has way more information than like packing South 1:21:40.439 --> 1:21:43.960 America right now. Seriously, he's over Instagram. But I don't 1:21:44.000 --> 1:21:46.120 know that i'd recommend that Alexis go to South America 1:21:46.120 --> 1:21:49.000 by herself. No, I even would say maybe stay in 1:21:49.000 --> 1:21:50.800 the country. You know, if you're gonna just do a 1:21:50.840 --> 1:21:54.200 nice little quick trip. A nice little Canada's always a 1:21:54.200 --> 1:21:59.040 safe option. Canada anywhere within the Northern America continent. I 1:21:59.080 --> 1:22:01.840 would suggest exist you should probably go to Well that 1:22:02.040 --> 1:22:03.920 does it. For our episode today, I want to do 1:22:03.920 --> 1:22:06.439 a couple of quick Big thank you to Susan from 1:22:06.520 --> 1:22:09.679 Betty for coming in and giving us all your knowledge 1:22:09.720 --> 1:22:13.519 about relationships. Big thank you to Amazon fire Tv again. 1:22:13.560 --> 1:22:16.719 You can head to Amazon dot com slash I Suck 1:22:16.960 --> 1:22:20.240 podcast to order a fire TV of your very own. 1:22:20.400 --> 1:22:25.599 Thank you to Outdoor Voices Vanessa's favorite off your first 1:22:25.720 --> 1:22:27.719 order of a hundred dollars or more. You can visit 1:22:27.760 --> 1:22:31.360 Outdoor Voices dot com slash help and enter h E. 1:22:31.560 --> 1:22:33.720 L P. And I really want you guys to check 1:22:33.720 --> 1:22:36.400 out there. My favorite pair of leggings with the two 1:22:36.400 --> 1:22:40.240 tone leggings of Coyote and Atmosphere Tech Sweat three quarter length. 1:22:40.560 --> 1:22:45.120 My favorite super cozy, super comfortable. They called your Dairy 1:22:45.160 --> 1:22:47.240 Air and they're they're just great to travel in in 1:22:47.520 --> 1:22:51.559 um and to to work out in um. Also for 1:22:53.320 --> 1:22:56.400 you can get off a twenty three kit at three 1:22:56.720 --> 1:22:59.880 dot com slash Dean find out about your d NA. 1:23:00.040 --> 1:23:03.320 Steve if you got that muscle composition DNA that Jared 1:23:03.400 --> 1:23:07.080 definitely wants. Um Legacy Box. Go to Legacy box dot com, 1:23:07.160 --> 1:23:11.479 slash Dean and save today. Also another great holiday gift 1:23:11.800 --> 1:23:14.759 idea and also a big thank you to Thrive Market. 1:23:14.840 --> 1:23:17.720 You can get an extra off your first order and 1:23:18.080 --> 1:23:22.080 a free thirty day trial at thrive market dot com. 1:23:22.120 --> 1:23:26.360 Slash Dean, d e A, and Vanessa. You are wonderful 1:23:26.400 --> 1:23:28.920 as always. Thank you so much, Mark East and tor 1:23:29.120 --> 1:23:32.760 In Studio. You guys are incredible. Thanks for myself, I 1:23:32.800 --> 1:23:35.280 guess and guys tune in next week. Please check out 1:23:35.280 --> 1:23:36.880 the Facebook group. I know I said every week, but 1:23:36.960 --> 1:23:39.040 it's incredible in there a lot of discussion, a lot 1:23:39.080 --> 1:23:41.719 of friends being made, a lot of advice being thrown around. 1:23:41.840 --> 1:23:43.880 So check out the Facebook group help I Second Dating 1:23:43.920 --> 1:23:47.400 Podcast Facebook group and tune in next week where hopefully 1:23:47.439 --> 1:23:51.320 we all suck a little less. Follow help by Suck 1:23:51.400 --> 1:23:54.120 at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I Heart 1:23:54.240 --> 1:24:01.519 Radio or wherever you listen to podcast two