Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.
Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
Speaker 1: tip is that you can reshape a memory, particularly if
Speaker 1: you have had a negative experience in the past that
Speaker 1: continues to bother you to some degree. You might be
Speaker 1: able to highlight a particular part of that memory that
Speaker 1: shows something you like about yourself. That can make a
Speaker 1: negative memory a little less bad. I am sure we
Speaker 1: have all had experiences in our lives that haven't gone
Speaker 1: exactly how we wanted. If we're not careful, these can
Speaker 1: scar pretty deeply. For instance, I know someone who had
Speaker 1: a rough start to college and wound up needing to
Speaker 1: withdraw with failing grades. Yikes, right, This person was smart
Speaker 1: enough to go to college and had family members who
Speaker 1: were incredibly proud of them for doing so, and then
Speaker 1: that happened. The first story that comes to mind is failure.
Speaker 1: But after some dark months, this person decided to try
Speaker 1: again with lots of studying and organizational help, and she
Speaker 1: wound up doing okay. With some work, she was able
Speaker 1: to reshape the original memory. There is a difference between
Speaker 1: failing at something specific and being a failure. She was
Speaker 1: able to rewrite the memory as being willing to try
Speaker 1: hard things, and that when something didn't work out, she
Speaker 1: was tough enough to learn from her mistakes that reshaped
Speaker 1: the memory into something more positive. Perhaps you have something
Speaker 1: similar in your life. I probably don't have to nudge
Speaker 1: you to call up the unpleasant memory. Maybe you already
Speaker 1: think about it way more than you intend to, So
Speaker 1: the next time you are doing so, see if you
Speaker 1: can reshape it a little bit. Think about what you
Speaker 1: like most about yourself. What traits make you proud when
Speaker 1: you've been at your best? What were you doing now?
Speaker 1: Think about this unpleasant memory. Were there any moments in
Speaker 1: this event or moments afterwards that could have featured these
Speaker 1: traits you like about yourself? Yes, the business went bankrupt,
Speaker 1: but you were a really good mentoring boss with your
Speaker 1: employees while it lasted. Yes, you shouldn't have lost your temper,
Speaker 1: and you are now dealing with the fallout from that.
Speaker 1: But that also stems from being intensely loyal to the
Speaker 1: people in your life and not wanting to see them
Speaker 1: be unhappy, and of itself is not a bad thing,
Speaker 1: even if there were ramifications that weren't great. Anyway, we
Speaker 1: have all had low moments in life, and it's good
Speaker 1: to learn from these when we can. I am not
Speaker 1: in favor of letting ourselves completely off the hook when
Speaker 1: we have made big messes. But when all we are
Speaker 1: learning is that we are failures or that we are
Speaker 1: terrible people, that is not going to be particularly helpful.
Speaker 1: Better to see if there is some good trait to
Speaker 1: hook on and then reshape the memory With that in mind,
Speaker 1: it becomes part of life story rather than something we
Speaker 1: can't get past. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks
Speaker 1: for listening, and here's to making the most of our time.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas,
Speaker 1: or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at Laura
Speaker 1: vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.