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Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.

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Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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Speaker 1: tip is that you can reshape a memory, particularly if

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Speaker 1: you have had a negative experience in the past that

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Speaker 1: continues to bother you to some degree. You might be

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Speaker 1: able to highlight a particular part of that memory that

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Speaker 1: shows something you like about yourself. That can make a

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Speaker 1: negative memory a little less bad. I am sure we

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Speaker 1: have all had experiences in our lives that haven't gone

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Speaker 1: exactly how we wanted. If we're not careful, these can

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Speaker 1: scar pretty deeply. For instance, I know someone who had

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Speaker 1: a rough start to college and wound up needing to

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Speaker 1: withdraw with failing grades. Yikes, right, This person was smart

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Speaker 1: enough to go to college and had family members who

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Speaker 1: were incredibly proud of them for doing so, and then

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Speaker 1: that happened. The first story that comes to mind is failure.

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Speaker 1: But after some dark months, this person decided to try

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Speaker 1: again with lots of studying and organizational help, and she

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Speaker 1: wound up doing okay. With some work, she was able

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Speaker 1: to reshape the original memory. There is a difference between

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Speaker 1: failing at something specific and being a failure. She was

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Speaker 1: able to rewrite the memory as being willing to try

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Speaker 1: hard things, and that when something didn't work out, she

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Speaker 1: was tough enough to learn from her mistakes that reshaped

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Speaker 1: the memory into something more positive. Perhaps you have something

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Speaker 1: similar in your life. I probably don't have to nudge

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Speaker 1: you to call up the unpleasant memory. Maybe you already

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Speaker 1: think about it way more than you intend to, So

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Speaker 1: the next time you are doing so, see if you

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Speaker 1: can reshape it a little bit. Think about what you

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Speaker 1: like most about yourself. What traits make you proud when

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Speaker 1: you've been at your best? What were you doing now?

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Speaker 1: Think about this unpleasant memory. Were there any moments in

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Speaker 1: this event or moments afterwards that could have featured these

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Speaker 1: traits you like about yourself? Yes, the business went bankrupt,

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Speaker 1: but you were a really good mentoring boss with your

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Speaker 1: employees while it lasted. Yes, you shouldn't have lost your temper,

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Speaker 1: and you are now dealing with the fallout from that.

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Speaker 1: But that also stems from being intensely loyal to the

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Speaker 1: people in your life and not wanting to see them

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Speaker 1: be unhappy, and of itself is not a bad thing,

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Speaker 1: even if there were ramifications that weren't great. Anyway, we

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Speaker 1: have all had low moments in life, and it's good

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Speaker 1: to learn from these when we can. I am not

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Speaker 1: in favor of letting ourselves completely off the hook when

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Speaker 1: we have made big messes. But when all we are

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Speaker 1: learning is that we are failures or that we are

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Speaker 1: terrible people, that is not going to be particularly helpful.

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Speaker 1: Better to see if there is some good trait to

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Speaker 1: hook on and then reshape the memory With that in mind,

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Speaker 1: it becomes part of life story rather than something we

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Speaker 1: can't get past. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks

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Speaker 1: for listening, and here's to making the most of our time.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas,

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Speaker 1: or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at Laura

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Speaker 1: vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia.

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Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app,

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Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.