1 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to a another new episode 2 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:17,080 Speaker 1: of Couch Talks. My name is Kat and I am host. 3 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 1: If you are new and you are unaware of what 4 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:24,079 Speaker 1: couch Talks is, it is a special bonus episode of 5 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:27,840 Speaker 1: You Need Therapy podcast that comes out each Wednesday, where 6 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 1: I answer questions that you guys send in to Catherine 7 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:34,960 Speaker 1: at You Need Therapy podcast dot com. And quick reminder 8 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:38,879 Speaker 1: that although I am a therapist, this podcast is not 9 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:42,960 Speaker 1: a substitute for actual therapy. It still might be very helpful, 10 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:46,640 Speaker 1: but I can't replace therapy or mental health services in 11 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:50,520 Speaker 1: a podcast. All right, So this week I put up 12 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:55,279 Speaker 1: on you Need Therapies Instagram page some questions, So if 13 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:58,520 Speaker 1: you don't follow you Need Therapy on Instagram, you should. 14 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 1: It's at you Need Therapy Podcast. But I put up 15 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 1: three questions and they were what topics do you want 16 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,840 Speaker 1: more of? What has been your favorite episode so far? 17 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,320 Speaker 1: Which that question was really fun and interesting to get 18 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:13,119 Speaker 1: the responses for. And do you have any rapid fire 19 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,480 Speaker 1: questions that you want me to answer for couch Talks? 20 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: Because my idea was that I would do like a 21 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:21,759 Speaker 1: rapid fire episode where I just answered maybe like five 22 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:23,720 Speaker 1: to ten depending on how long it took me to 23 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,880 Speaker 1: answer them. And I should have known better, because you 24 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 1: guys send a lot of good questions, but they weren't 25 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:30,920 Speaker 1: ones that I could answer quickly. And there was one 26 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:33,760 Speaker 1: that stood out to me because a couple of days 27 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:37,080 Speaker 1: away from now is Mother's Day. So this coming Sunday 28 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,119 Speaker 1: is Mother's Day. If you didn't know, now you know. 29 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:43,520 Speaker 1: And the question was basically, do you have any ways 30 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:46,759 Speaker 1: or tips or ideas on how to handle Mother's Day 31 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,440 Speaker 1: when you grew up with either an abusive and absent 32 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: or a toxic mother. So when I saw this, I 33 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,120 Speaker 1: was like, okay, this we need to talk about this now. 34 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,440 Speaker 1: If I can do the rapid fire episode, I will 35 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,040 Speaker 1: do that, but this week and not the week don't where. 36 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: I'm still collecting all the questions if you sent them in, 37 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 1: I'm still keeping them in my little question jar. Really 38 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 1: it's a note in my phone. But we'll get to 39 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,360 Speaker 1: those two. But I thought this was really important to 40 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 1: talk about because, yeah, Mother's Day is supposed to be 41 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:14,640 Speaker 1: like a harmless, positive day that helps us celebrate the 42 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:18,480 Speaker 1: women who've raised us and loved us well. And while 43 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,160 Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with that at all, and Honestly, a 44 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 1: lot of mothers that get celebrated on Mother's Day deserve 45 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 1: way more than one day of celebration. At the same time, 46 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 1: not everyone is celebrating on Mother's Day. Some people are grieving, 47 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,640 Speaker 1: some people are hurting, and even if you are a 48 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 1: mom who's been celebrated yourself, you can still be having 49 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 1: a really hard time on this day. So I want 50 00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:41,359 Speaker 1: to talk about it. And the first thing I thought 51 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 1: about was this Psychology Today article that was put out 52 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:48,519 Speaker 1: in two thousand nineteen that I really liked and was 53 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 1: written by this woman named Peg Streep, who also wrote 54 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:55,000 Speaker 1: a book. It's called Daughter Detalks Recovering from an unloving 55 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 1: mother and reclaiming your life. I've never read this book, 56 00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 1: so I can't say if it's good or not, but 57 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 1: I did just want to say that she wrote a book, 58 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 1: and she's actually not a therapist, but I do know 59 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 1: that the articles on there are reviewed by therapists, and 60 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 1: I'm a therapist, and I read the article and I 61 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,359 Speaker 1: liked it, so I do think it's a good article. 62 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 1: Even though she doesn't have like clinical experience, she has 63 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 1: more personal but I really like what she wrote in 64 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 1: this article. She gave some simple tips on how to 65 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 1: cope and how to deal with this holiday. So I 66 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:26,400 Speaker 1: want to read some of these tips too, because I 67 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,800 Speaker 1: think they may be super helpful. And as much as 68 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 1: moms deserve to be loved on on Mother's Day, so 69 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,639 Speaker 1: do the humans who might not have a mom to 70 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 1: love on or to love them. Now, these tips are 71 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,640 Speaker 1: speaking more to children who have had abusive, neglect full, 72 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 1: or harmful mothers. I know there's like a million other 73 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 1: kinds of reasons that this day might be hard. Maybe 74 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:52,960 Speaker 1: it's infertility, or maybe your mom has passed away recently 75 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,120 Speaker 1: or a long time ago, it doesn't matter the time frame. 76 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:59,160 Speaker 1: So I just want everyone who struggles with this day 77 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 1: to know that you definitely aren't alone, and your grief 78 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:06,520 Speaker 1: deserves so much attention and so much compassion, and this 79 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 1: day is allowed to be hard. You don't have to 80 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,560 Speaker 1: pretend like it's not if it is. So. PEG brokeer 81 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,200 Speaker 1: tips down into two categories, one for when you're still 82 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,600 Speaker 1: in contact with your mom but the relationship is really challenging, 83 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:19,680 Speaker 1: and one for when you don't have contact with your 84 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,279 Speaker 1: mom at all. So we're going to start with the 85 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:24,360 Speaker 1: tips that are directed towards those who are still in 86 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 1: contact with their mother, but maybe the relationship is really hard. 87 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 1: Number one, don't engage in magical thinking. If you're still 88 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:35,160 Speaker 1: hopeful that somehow there's a way to repair or change 89 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 1: your relationship with your mother, try not to go there 90 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 1: on this specific Sunday. If you're still in the mode 91 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:44,719 Speaker 1: of trying to please have realistic expectations, and please remember 92 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 1: that the reunion scene in which mom has the major 93 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 1: epiphany usually only happens in the movies. Number two, set boundaries. 94 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,040 Speaker 1: Remember that you're an adult and no one can push 95 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:58,279 Speaker 1: your buttons unless you allow them to make plans keeping 96 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:01,000 Speaker 1: what you can best manage in mind. If there's a 97 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,840 Speaker 1: family gathering at which the usual games and favoritism will 98 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 1: be played, think about how you react ahead of time. 99 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:09,240 Speaker 1: There's no need to be confrontational, but do remember that 100 00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:11,240 Speaker 1: you have a say and how other people treat you. 101 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:14,960 Speaker 1: Abusive behavior is never okay, not even on Mother's Day. 102 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 1: Number three, don't do more than you think you can 103 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 1: pull off. With the world talking about how wonderful and 104 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 1: loving mothers are. It's really easy to feel guilty and 105 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 1: ungrateful when you start thinking about how she clothed you, 106 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:30,160 Speaker 1: sheltered and fed you things that she was obligated to 107 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,920 Speaker 1: do by law. You are losing the battle against guilt 108 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:36,080 Speaker 1: if you feel you must celebrate her. Keep it manageable. 109 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:39,480 Speaker 1: You don't want to create more drama by over extending yourself. 110 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: Number four. Recognize your ambivalence. Don't get sucked into the 111 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 1: hype and feel as though you were required to put 112 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:48,720 Speaker 1: on a show because it's Mother's Day. Think about what 113 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 1: you want to do for your mother and what's shaping 114 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,920 Speaker 1: your thinking. If you're curtailing contact to a phone call 115 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,800 Speaker 1: or a card without a call, remind yourself of the 116 00:05:56,880 --> 00:06:00,560 Speaker 1: reasons you've chosen that particular route. And the this cat here. 117 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,600 Speaker 1: I really like that last one because I think a 118 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,479 Speaker 1: lot of times we can get sucked into that I 119 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 1: should do this, I should do this, I should do this. 120 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:10,440 Speaker 1: This is what people do for their mothers. And it's 121 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:14,360 Speaker 1: almost like we put on this big show because that's 122 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 1: what everybody else is doing, and that's what we're supposed 123 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 1: to do for our mom, who like kept us alive. 124 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,680 Speaker 1: But it said in the number three like that was 125 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 1: the basics, like the bare minimum. If you chose to 126 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 1: do something like just send a card without a phone call, 127 00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:33,159 Speaker 1: you have to remind yourself that you're doing that for 128 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 1: specific reason, and I think it's important to keep those 129 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 1: reasons in mind, even though they're hard to acknowledge. Alright, 130 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,680 Speaker 1: So the next four tips are aimed towards those who 131 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,400 Speaker 1: don't have any contact with their mothers. And it can 132 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:50,359 Speaker 1: be for somebody who never plans on having to contact 133 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,960 Speaker 1: with their mom again, or maybe you just are in 134 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:56,160 Speaker 1: a season where you're not having contact. These can apply 135 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 1: to both of those, so here we go. Number one, 136 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:02,000 Speaker 1: don't take on the shame just by cultural pressure. This 137 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,800 Speaker 1: isn't yours to own because you were powerless to change 138 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,360 Speaker 1: your mother's treatment of you. It was always about her 139 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,800 Speaker 1: and never about you, especially when you were young and 140 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 1: living under her roof. Your mother's job was to love, 141 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:15,560 Speaker 1: support and meet your emotional needs, and she didn't do it. 142 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 1: You were powerless to change the relationship in childhood and later, 143 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,440 Speaker 1: and going no contact is further proof that you're still powerless. 144 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,560 Speaker 1: You can only change yourself, not someone else. Number two, 145 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,160 Speaker 1: use the day to grieve the mother you deserved. And 146 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 1: I actually changed this cat here. I changed what she 147 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:36,960 Speaker 1: wrote because I didn't agree with it, so I'm not 148 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 1: quoting the article here, I'm quoting myself. I guess allow 149 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 1: yourself to feel whatever you need to do on this day, 150 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 1: and instead of spending time with thinking about what you've 151 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,680 Speaker 1: got that you didn't deserve, maybe use this day to 152 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 1: think about what it is that you deserve that you 153 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,400 Speaker 1: didn't receive. And you can think about the younger you 154 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 1: and maybe write a letter to her. I think that 155 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:56,920 Speaker 1: would be really cool to write a letter to the 156 00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:00,720 Speaker 1: younger version of you expressing what those things would be, like, 157 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 1: what are those things that she deserves to have in 158 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:05,960 Speaker 1: that moment? And then this actually can lead into the 159 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 1: next tip, which is number three, focus on your healing 160 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 1: and work on self compassion. And I also changed this 161 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:18,520 Speaker 1: description as well. So maybe today, instead of a day 162 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,720 Speaker 1: that you celebrate your mom, you use this day to 163 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:23,760 Speaker 1: give your younger self what she deserved. Think about your 164 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,160 Speaker 1: inner child again, and maybe do something for that part 165 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 1: of you. As an adult, we can actually meet the 166 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 1: needs for ourselves that we relied on adults for in childhood. 167 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,280 Speaker 1: So this would be such a cool way to kind 168 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 1: of reclaim this day and take some power back by 169 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,880 Speaker 1: loving on that version of you, that younger you that 170 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,000 Speaker 1: didn't get what she needed or got things that she 171 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:47,360 Speaker 1: didn't actually deserve to get things that were harmful. And 172 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:51,080 Speaker 1: it's okay that also in this you acknowledge that this 173 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,960 Speaker 1: is hard and you don't really want to have to 174 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,400 Speaker 1: do this. It's okay to do that, like be real 175 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:57,760 Speaker 1: with it. This is allowed to be hard to do, 176 00:08:58,160 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 1: but it could be a really cool day to do 177 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:03,080 Speaker 1: something fun and maybe, like I don't know, I'm having 178 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 1: this image of why this keeps popping in my head, 179 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,480 Speaker 1: but like chucky cheese, Like I know as a kid, 180 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,559 Speaker 1: I liked doing that. So like if you were a 181 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:11,200 Speaker 1: kid and there are things that you like to do 182 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:13,400 Speaker 1: or you wish that you could have done, or you 183 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:16,000 Speaker 1: saw other people doing with their moms, like going to 184 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,880 Speaker 1: the park or going shopping, like maybe you take something 185 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:22,599 Speaker 1: that represents the younger you on a little adventure and 186 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:26,360 Speaker 1: that could be anything. And number four, she wrote fate 187 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,680 Speaker 1: to yourself. That actually translates to celebrate yourself. I didn't 188 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:32,880 Speaker 1: know what that word meant, but yeah, celebrate you and 189 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,680 Speaker 1: all of your complexity and imperfection by doing something you 190 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:38,640 Speaker 1: love or buying yourself a meaningful gift. If you have children, 191 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:41,120 Speaker 1: this won't supersede any of the things that they do. 192 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:44,360 Speaker 1: This is you for you, show how much do you 193 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:47,520 Speaker 1: value yourself and mean it. And this is cat here 194 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:52,480 Speaker 1: adding on too that this kind of goes into number three, 195 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:56,240 Speaker 1: but it's different. So in this tip it's celebrate you now, 196 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,959 Speaker 1: and in the number two and three it's more about 197 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,960 Speaker 1: celebrate the younger you that didn't get the celebration she deserved. 198 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:05,720 Speaker 1: And I really like actually how she ends the article. 199 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,959 Speaker 1: She says and in the worst case, remember that Sunday 200 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:12,840 Speaker 1: will turn into Monday. It always does. And I love 201 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 1: this and I love that she ended this way, because yeah, 202 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 1: you're going to get through this. And I think sometimes 203 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,280 Speaker 1: in the depths of things that are really hard and painful, 204 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:24,199 Speaker 1: we get stuck there and think it's never gonna end, 205 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:27,160 Speaker 1: especially leading up to it if we know it's going 206 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:30,440 Speaker 1: to be something that's scary and hard, and things do 207 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,520 Speaker 1: shift and the day will turn into Monday. And this 208 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:37,360 Speaker 1: is actually something that I use for myself anytime I'm 209 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:40,240 Speaker 1: feeling anxiety about something, and I actually use it all 210 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,360 Speaker 1: of the time when I have interviews for the podcast 211 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:45,839 Speaker 1: that I'm anxious about because I have anxiety. Being a 212 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:49,000 Speaker 1: therapist does not take away your anxiety, and so I 213 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,400 Speaker 1: get nervous about things like that. And so I tell 214 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: myself if the interviews, like on a Friday afternoon, I'll 215 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 1: tell myself Friday at six pm is going to come 216 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 1: and at six pm that interviews to be over. It 217 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,400 Speaker 1: will shift and turn and I will get there. So 218 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,439 Speaker 1: that might be something that you need to tell yourself 219 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 1: as well. I will get to the next day. I 220 00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:10,960 Speaker 1: will move through this. What do I need to do 221 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:14,320 Speaker 1: in order to do that the best way that I can. 222 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,959 Speaker 1: So again, my heart does go out to everybody who's 223 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,200 Speaker 1: struggling with this day for all the different reasons why 224 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:23,120 Speaker 1: it might be hard. And also I think we should 225 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,280 Speaker 1: take a lesson from the episode that came out a 226 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:29,000 Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago about both and and this day 227 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,440 Speaker 1: can be really sweet for you in some ways. Let's 228 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,440 Speaker 1: say you have kids of your own and they're excited 229 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,320 Speaker 1: to celebrate you, so it could be really sweet for 230 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:38,440 Speaker 1: you in that way. And and and all of this, I 231 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,439 Speaker 1: think that we can take a lesson from an episode 232 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,559 Speaker 1: that came out a couple of weeks ago talking about 233 00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:45,920 Speaker 1: the both and now we can experience to conflicting things 234 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,679 Speaker 1: at the same time. And that's Okay, So maybe this 235 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:51,880 Speaker 1: day is really hard for you because of certain reasons 236 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:55,400 Speaker 1: around your mom or infertility or whatever that might be 237 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,880 Speaker 1: for you, and this day can be really sweet because 238 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:00,040 Speaker 1: maybe if you are struggling with in for too, that 239 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,480 Speaker 1: you have a mom you can celebrate, or if you 240 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:05,120 Speaker 1: don't have a mom, you can celebrate. Maybe you have 241 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,400 Speaker 1: children that want to celebrate you, and so this day 242 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:09,840 Speaker 1: can be more than one thing, and in that honor 243 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:12,559 Speaker 1: both the way that you need to honor those. So 244 00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:14,320 Speaker 1: I want to be able to go on and on 245 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,840 Speaker 1: and on because I feel like we could talk about 246 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:17,679 Speaker 1: all the different scenarios this could be hard, and give 247 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:20,520 Speaker 1: tips on all the scenarios. But I think in closing, 248 00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:23,199 Speaker 1: I just want to offer that whatever you're feeling, you're 249 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,679 Speaker 1: not alone, and whatever you're feeling is important. So if 250 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 1: you are struggling with anything and none of those things 251 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 1: seem to work, you know, reach out to somebody and 252 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,840 Speaker 1: maybe just talking about it might help. Feel your feelings, 253 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: allow them to show up, allow them to be complex, 254 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:41,640 Speaker 1: allow them to be conflicting, and allow yourself to have 255 00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 1: the day you need to have. What a wonderful way 256 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 1: to end this, doesn't that just kind of wrap it 257 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:49,200 Speaker 1: up beautifully. Have the day you need to have today, 258 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,880 Speaker 1: Have the mother's day you need to have, and I 259 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,880 Speaker 1: will be back with you guys on Monday for your 260 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,840 Speaker 1: regular episode of You Need Therapy Again. If you do 261 00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:59,800 Speaker 1: not follow the podcast, you can do that at You 262 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:02,600 Speaker 1: Need Therapy Podcast on Instagram. You can also find me 263 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:07,240 Speaker 1: at cat dot de fata. And remember Spotify. You can 264 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 1: now rate podcasts on Spotify. So you haven't done that 265 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,880 Speaker 1: and you're listening on Spotify, I would love if you 266 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:15,760 Speaker 1: took a moment to do that. So thank you, thank you, 267 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 1: Thank you in advance, because I know all of you 268 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,320 Speaker 1: that are on Spotify right now are like, oh, that's 269 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,120 Speaker 1: so cool. Thanks for letting me know. I'm gonna give 270 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:24,840 Speaker 1: you five stars. So thank you for that, and I 271 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:26,960 Speaker 1: will talk to you guys. Like I said on Monday, 272 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:30,360 Speaker 1: have all the days you need to have by