1 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,680 Speaker 1: I am a Yamla. I had a baby daddy relationship. 2 00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:08,639 Speaker 1: I spent time in a relationship with a married man. 3 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:13,080 Speaker 1: I had to learn the skills and tools required to 4 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:17,799 Speaker 1: make my relationships healthy, fulfilling and loving. Welcome to the 5 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:32,440 Speaker 1: Our Spot, a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership with iHeartRadio, 6 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:39,599 Speaker 1: Grind Rising and Welcome to the R Spot. You may 7 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 1: have heard the recent interview I did with Jada Pinkett 8 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:47,120 Speaker 1: Smith about her new book Worthy Now. Whether you're a 9 00:00:47,159 --> 00:00:50,320 Speaker 1: fan of Jada or not, whether you think she did 10 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,519 Speaker 1: will dirty or not, whether you love her hair or not, 11 00:00:54,600 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: Jada offered some powerful insights about how her lack of 12 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 1: self worth impacted her life and all her relationships, even 13 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:07,720 Speaker 1: when she was sitting on top of the world with 14 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:11,160 Speaker 1: a lot of money. And if you heard that interview, 15 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,959 Speaker 1: I pray you notice that I didn't go into the 16 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:18,200 Speaker 1: details of her story, her marriage, or to slap herd 17 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:21,720 Speaker 1: around the world. I focused on the elements of her 18 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 1: healing journey, the journey to Worthy. Jada's story, like my 19 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:35,319 Speaker 1: story or your story, are our business, our unique individual business. However, 20 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:42,080 Speaker 1: what is common to all people is how our stories impact, enhance, 21 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:47,840 Speaker 1: or detract from a healthy sense of self worth. Though 22 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:53,000 Speaker 1: today I'm asking what is self worth? Where do you 23 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:56,920 Speaker 1: get it or learn it? Do you have a healthy 24 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 1: sense of self worth? If so, how did you get it? 25 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:04,720 Speaker 1: And if not, why not? And to do that, I 26 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: want to begin with a clear definition of self worth, 27 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 1: because I'm not sure everybody has a clear definition or 28 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 1: the same definition. So for the purposes of this exploration 29 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:21,160 Speaker 1: of the topic today, here is how I am defining 30 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:28,720 Speaker 1: self worth. Self worth is what you request, require and 31 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:35,360 Speaker 1: expect for yourself from others and of others as a 32 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:41,239 Speaker 1: function of how you see and hold yourself within yourself. 33 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 1: That means what you request or ask for require in 34 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:52,800 Speaker 1: terms of boundaries and behaviors, and what you accept and 35 00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:57,520 Speaker 1: accommodate first from yourself. I mean, where do you draw 36 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,959 Speaker 1: the line related to what you will and will not do, 37 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 1: because that will determine what you expect from others and 38 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 1: of others and the way they conduct themselves in your 39 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 1: life and in your experience with them, and all of that. 40 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 1: All of it. It's a function or reflection of how 41 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:27,320 Speaker 1: you see and hold yourself within your self. Now, I 42 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 1: don't want to go into all of it right now, 43 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 1: but it is your sense of self value that determines 44 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:38,640 Speaker 1: your self worth. And it is your self esteem that 45 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:42,560 Speaker 1: determines your self value, and it is your self love 46 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 1: that determines your self esteem. And it's all of that 47 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 1: self love, self esteem, self value, and self worth that 48 00:03:52,360 --> 00:04:01,320 Speaker 1: determines and or deters what you experience in relationships. But 49 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:06,680 Speaker 1: today we're focusing on self worth. We're focusing on that part, 50 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 1: and I'm sure those things will bring up or show 51 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 1: up as the lack of the other things. Self worth, 52 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 1: where do you get it or learn it? Do you 53 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:21,840 Speaker 1: have it? If so, how did you get it? If not, 54 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,479 Speaker 1: why not? Let's hear what the callers have to say 55 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 1: about that today. Welcome beloved, Welcome to the R Spot. 56 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: We're talking about self worth today. What is it? Do 57 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,240 Speaker 1: you have it? If so, how do you get it? 58 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:41,719 Speaker 1: And if not, why not? And what's your story? 59 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:47,520 Speaker 2: My story is that I have abundant issues, and not 60 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:53,120 Speaker 2: just from other people, like I'll abandon myself. So yeah, 61 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:58,480 Speaker 2: so that's where it starts. My childhood was teumatic, so 62 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:04,080 Speaker 2: I would like leave my body to stay faced. And 63 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 2: what I'm finding now is that now that I know 64 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:13,159 Speaker 2: that I'll I leave my body I'm just now learning 65 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,839 Speaker 2: on this about myself. Before I just didn't I just 66 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:17,839 Speaker 2: wasn't person. I just didn't know what was going on 67 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 2: at any given moment. I didn't know what I was doing. 68 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,080 Speaker 1: But now that I'm over, Wait a minute, Wait a minute, 69 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 1: tell me what you mean. Tell me what that experience 70 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:30,560 Speaker 1: is When you say I leave my body, what does 71 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 1: that mean? 72 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,960 Speaker 2: In that moment, I don't know what my physical body 73 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:35,720 Speaker 2: is doing. I could be staring off for the face. 74 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 2: I wouldn't know it. I could be sharing. I wouldn't know. 75 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:42,160 Speaker 2: Like my I leave, like I'm not there. 76 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:46,279 Speaker 1: You go unconscious. Yes, I want to say to you 77 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 1: that I think it's a powerful, powerful awareness that you 78 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 1: know that you abandon yourself. 79 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 2: I didn't know until I had children and I had 80 00:05:59,640 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 2: to be. 81 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:08,000 Speaker 1: But I'm wondering now if it's just a habitual response 82 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 1: to a trigger. So let me ask you this, when 83 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,839 Speaker 1: do you do that? What triggers you leaving your body? 84 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:18,200 Speaker 1: Is it certain? 85 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,839 Speaker 2: It could be anything, Yes, it could be certain people. 86 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 2: It could be anxiety, it could be overthinking. Yeah, And 87 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,920 Speaker 2: it's almost like now that I heal the trauma, I 88 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:35,479 Speaker 2: somewhat heal the trauma. Is the what I did to 89 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,840 Speaker 2: keep myself safe is what I'm having an issue with. 90 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:41,799 Speaker 1: Hell, the fact that you leave your body to keep 91 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:46,160 Speaker 1: yourself safe. Why do you think that's a function of 92 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 1: self work. 93 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 2: I think it's a function of my self worth, because 94 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:52,520 Speaker 2: now that I'm realizing what it means like to stay 95 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 2: present and getting a glint of a glimpse of my 96 00:06:56,120 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 2: work when I'm present, I almost will put myself the 97 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:04,279 Speaker 2: situations because I believe that any relationship that I'm having 98 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 2: is a reflection of me. So sometimes I have a 99 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 2: hard time leading unhealthy relationships when I know that it's unhealthy, 100 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:15,080 Speaker 2: but because I think it's a reflection of me, I think, okay, 101 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,800 Speaker 2: well let me stay in it and fix it when 102 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:19,600 Speaker 2: it's probably not the life greater. 103 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 1: No, it's not, and let me tell you why it's not. 104 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:31,760 Speaker 1: Because the same mind that took you into the relationship 105 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:35,880 Speaker 1: is the same mind you're trying to use to fix 106 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 1: the relationship that's not going to turn out well for you. 107 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:44,320 Speaker 2: And it's not because it is my child's father. So 108 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 2: now I'm like, we can move in together, but he 109 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:51,400 Speaker 2: wants to be with me, so I'm telling him now like, okay, 110 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,640 Speaker 2: let's stay together because there's certain things that you can 111 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,520 Speaker 2: teach them that I can't teach them. So I need 112 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:56,960 Speaker 2: your help, Like I need you to be a doub 113 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 2: but I don't want you to focus on the relationship. 114 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 2: But it's on the keys and I know that it's 115 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:07,760 Speaker 2: not gonna work out like that. I should be trusting myself, 116 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:10,920 Speaker 2: but I'm not. I think that's where I fight myself. 117 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 2: It's like any. 118 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:15,960 Speaker 1: That's how you abandon yourself when you know something to 119 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 1: be true and you dismiss it, diminish it, deny it 120 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 1: because you don't have a healthy sense of self worth 121 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:29,240 Speaker 1: and you don't believe you can do it, so you'll 122 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 1: sacrifice yourself and what's good for you in order to 123 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:38,120 Speaker 1: get it done for somebody else. Right now, what I 124 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:43,359 Speaker 1: want you to get is that is how you abandon yourself. 125 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:46,360 Speaker 1: Forget the shaken and not knowing where you are. That's 126 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:53,680 Speaker 1: one thing that's a reaction. The abandonment and the diminishing 127 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:59,280 Speaker 1: of your self worth comes from that secret, silent belief 128 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:00,839 Speaker 1: I can't do this. 129 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:04,079 Speaker 2: And you know what the other issue is. I heard 130 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:07,920 Speaker 2: another episode where you were saying, is it a part 131 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,199 Speaker 2: of you that still wants and is it between your toes. 132 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:13,320 Speaker 2: It's a small piece of one of him between my parents. 133 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,640 Speaker 2: I don't know what to do with it. 134 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, when it gets down there in between the toes, 135 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:24,760 Speaker 1: but before beloved, before you can even think of having 136 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:28,440 Speaker 1: a relationship with him or your children, You've got to 137 00:09:28,559 --> 00:09:34,640 Speaker 1: grow that sense of worth. I am worthy. I value myself. 138 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:40,080 Speaker 1: I see myself bigger, grander than what I'm experiencing. You've 139 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:44,679 Speaker 1: got to grow those things because is it you, the 140 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 1: authentic you, that wants him or is it that part 141 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 1: of you that's down in between your toes that will 142 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 1: accept what shows up and try to fix it. 143 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:55,280 Speaker 2: Definitely. 144 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,080 Speaker 1: So if I were to say, if I were to 145 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:03,439 Speaker 1: say to you at this time in my life, I 146 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:08,720 Speaker 1: do not have a healthy sense of self worth, what 147 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:10,800 Speaker 1: would you say to that? Is that true for you 148 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 1: or not true for me? I? Okay, So let me 149 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:18,920 Speaker 1: hear you own that, because the first step toward healing 150 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:23,400 Speaker 1: is acknowledgement. So let me hear you own at this 151 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:26,760 Speaker 1: time in my life, I do not have a healthy 152 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,400 Speaker 1: sense of self worth. I want to hear you say 153 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:30,680 Speaker 1: that and own it. 154 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 2: At this point in my life, I definitely do not 155 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 2: have a healthy sense of and. 156 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 1: That makes me feel I'm sad because. 157 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:47,440 Speaker 2: Or because I'm aware of it and I'm still choosing 158 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:48,959 Speaker 2: to abandons. 159 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:51,800 Speaker 1: Wow, you don't need me, You need to hang up 160 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:58,199 Speaker 1: and go on. But I want you to hear the 161 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 1: power of that. And it's a simple flip you said, 162 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:08,240 Speaker 1: And that makes me feel sad because I'm aware of 163 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 1: it and I'm still choosing it. But here's what I 164 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:17,439 Speaker 1: want you to get beloved. Every choice overrides and supersedes 165 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:21,920 Speaker 1: every other choice. So at any given moment, any moment 166 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 1: can be the moment that you make another choice. We'll 167 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:36,800 Speaker 1: talk about that when we come back. Welcome back to 168 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:39,400 Speaker 1: the R spot. Let's pick up where we left off. 169 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:47,600 Speaker 1: So right now, your sense of worth you're developing, deepening, healing, 170 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 1: your self worth hinges upon you making another choice moment 171 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:58,920 Speaker 1: by moment by moment by moment. It may mean that 172 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,160 Speaker 1: you have to take sometime get clear about what you 173 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 1: really want, and get clear about whether you think you 174 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:11,080 Speaker 1: deserve it and whether you think you can have it, 175 00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:14,800 Speaker 1: and then believe you can have it, ask for it, 176 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:19,480 Speaker 1: ask God's source, creator, universe, and then take one make 177 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 1: one choice at a time that will get you to 178 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 1: what you want. 179 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:24,280 Speaker 3: That's what I'll do. 180 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,680 Speaker 2: I'll make those choices. I go in and out of 181 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,280 Speaker 2: the continents, like I'll make a good choice that's good 182 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:32,080 Speaker 2: for myself and that that my highest selpe agrees would 183 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,479 Speaker 2: and appreciates, and then I'll go back on the choice. 184 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:39,880 Speaker 1: Like, oh, because you continue to surround yourself with the 185 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 1: spiritual pollutants that make you think you can have it. So, 186 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:49,120 Speaker 1: just as it relates to your just as it relates 187 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:53,840 Speaker 1: to your child's father, your children's father, is that the 188 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 1: relationship you want for yourself? 189 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:58,240 Speaker 2: Absolutely want? 190 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:04,120 Speaker 1: Okay, So here we are. I am not choosing to 191 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:10,200 Speaker 1: be in relationship with my children's father for me, but 192 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:14,120 Speaker 1: you are willing to have a co parenting relationship with 193 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,640 Speaker 1: him for the children. Is that accurate? 194 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:18,040 Speaker 3: Yes? 195 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,160 Speaker 1: But I hear the butt. I hear the butt. 196 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:29,160 Speaker 2: Because it's almost easier for me to do the do 197 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:34,040 Speaker 2: it the way that I do it because he's he's an alcoholic, 198 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 2: so it's it's enough. So because he's alcoholic, it's almost 199 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:49,640 Speaker 2: easier to be nice to him. Because when I'm when 200 00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:51,439 Speaker 2: I go that route and say I don't want to 201 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,360 Speaker 2: be to you. Let's let's do this, let's do that, 202 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:57,319 Speaker 2: Let's meet somewhere and meet up with the kids being aggressive. 203 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:01,400 Speaker 2: It's combative and and that triggers me, and that makes 204 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:01,920 Speaker 2: me the truth. 205 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:06,640 Speaker 1: So do you believe it can be different? No? There 206 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:12,160 Speaker 1: you are. That's it. You're never gonna live beyond your beliefs. 207 00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:19,160 Speaker 1: So your work, my love, is building up first your 208 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 1: sense of self. You can't have worth until you have 209 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:28,400 Speaker 1: a self. And right now your self is depleted or 210 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:32,320 Speaker 1: diminished or denied or whatever. You've got to build self. 211 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 1: So I want to give you an assignment. Okay, If 212 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,520 Speaker 1: I give you an assignment, are you gonna do it? 213 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:39,800 Speaker 2: Absolutely? 214 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:48,000 Speaker 1: Okay. Yourself, my love, is the core, the essence, the 215 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:53,360 Speaker 1: truth of who you are. That's what your self is. 216 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:56,640 Speaker 1: So before you can have love or esteem or value 217 00:14:56,720 --> 00:15:01,240 Speaker 1: or worth, you gotta build up yourself. And yourself has 218 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:06,440 Speaker 1: a name. And the name of yourself is I Am. 219 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:10,040 Speaker 1: That's your self's name. So let's say your what is 220 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:10,800 Speaker 1: your first name? 221 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:11,480 Speaker 3: My first name? 222 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:18,640 Speaker 1: Okay, I am Tiffany. Yeah, Tiffany is your name, but 223 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:24,280 Speaker 1: the I am is the self that Tiffany is. So 224 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:30,160 Speaker 1: here's your assignment. Every day for the next forty days, 225 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:35,320 Speaker 1: every day for the next forty days. Before he gets 226 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:39,040 Speaker 1: up and you have to get busy. I want you 227 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 1: to get up and I want you to write forty 228 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 1: times on a sheet of paper I am, and then 229 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:54,040 Speaker 1: I want you to put behind that I AM what 230 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,520 Speaker 1: it is that you want to be in your life. So, 231 00:15:56,720 --> 00:16:03,800 Speaker 1: for example, I am clear, I am love, I am peace, 232 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,800 Speaker 1: I am power, I am joy, I am beauty, I 233 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,760 Speaker 1: am wealth, I am health, I am wisdom, I am power. 234 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:16,600 Speaker 1: All of those words forty times, forty sentences every day 235 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:21,120 Speaker 1: for forty days. Okay, So when you get up tomorrow, 236 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:25,960 Speaker 1: you're going to write forty I AM statements, and then 237 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:31,280 Speaker 1: the next day you write forty I AM statements. Now 238 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 1: as you're writing, after you write them all down, I 239 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:39,320 Speaker 1: want you to go back and read the list and 240 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:42,840 Speaker 1: check off the ones you don't believe. Okay, So let's 241 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:45,880 Speaker 1: say you write I am power. When you go back 242 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,720 Speaker 1: and read, I don't believe I'm power. I don't believe 243 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 1: I'm clarity. I don't believe I'm truth. I don't believe 244 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:55,840 Speaker 1: I'm wealthy. Because those are the things that you've got 245 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:59,160 Speaker 1: to build up. Those are the things that you have 246 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,120 Speaker 1: to build up so that you can grow your worth. 247 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,399 Speaker 1: Why don't you believe that your love why don't you 248 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:09,639 Speaker 1: believe that you're wealthy? Why don't you believe that? And 249 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,760 Speaker 1: you don't have to write it down. You can, you 250 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 1: can write it down, But basically, I just want you 251 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,760 Speaker 1: to start thinking about it and bringing it to the 252 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:22,440 Speaker 1: surface because what I know to be true is once 253 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:26,639 Speaker 1: you start making those statements, God sources life, the universe 254 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:31,600 Speaker 1: is gonna bring you experiences where you get to practice 255 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,600 Speaker 1: being the things that you don't believe. So let's say 256 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:39,280 Speaker 1: you don't believe that your power. Life is going to 257 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,639 Speaker 1: bring you an experience where you're gonna have to stand 258 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:45,760 Speaker 1: in your power, ask for what you want, say no, 259 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:50,080 Speaker 1: and you're gonna do this for forty days. If you 260 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:53,199 Speaker 1: miss a day, start all over again. I don't care 261 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,040 Speaker 1: if it's day twenty two. You got to start the 262 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,360 Speaker 1: forty days all over because what we're trying to do 263 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:06,520 Speaker 1: is we're trying to get you reconnected, reacquainted, to get 264 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:09,520 Speaker 1: you to trust again your self. 265 00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:10,280 Speaker 3: That's myself. 266 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:14,920 Speaker 1: Yes, you got it. Forty days, forty statements a day, 267 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:19,160 Speaker 1: Write them, then read them, check off what you don't believe, 268 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:21,639 Speaker 1: and then be on the lookout for that thing to 269 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,800 Speaker 1: show up in your life. Is after you do your 270 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:28,000 Speaker 1: forty days. I want you to write down what you 271 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:35,040 Speaker 1: want with yourself in place, your I am established. Then 272 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:38,720 Speaker 1: write down what you want, because what you're going for 273 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 1: right now is what you know. When yourself is in place, 274 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:48,760 Speaker 1: right you, when yourself is in place and established, you 275 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,600 Speaker 1: can create what you really really desire. 276 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:55,440 Speaker 2: Okay, okay, I will thank you so much. 277 00:18:55,320 --> 00:19:03,080 Speaker 1: Thank you for calling, beloved. All right, bye bye. A 278 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:09,439 Speaker 1: healthy sense of self worth begins with the willingness to 279 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:16,040 Speaker 1: put you first in your life, you your needs, your desires. 280 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:20,000 Speaker 1: Because if you can't put you first in your life, 281 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:26,080 Speaker 1: if you don't enjoy your life, everything and everybody else 282 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:33,440 Speaker 1: will start there. Vote for you, put you first. Let's 283 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:39,320 Speaker 1: hear what my next caller has to say. Greetings and 284 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:43,080 Speaker 1: welcome to the R Spot. I am Amla and today 285 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:47,159 Speaker 1: we are diving head first into the issue, the topic, 286 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:50,959 Speaker 1: the challenge of self worth. So what do you bringing 287 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:52,560 Speaker 1: to the table today. 288 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:58,560 Speaker 3: I have done, in my opinions, a lot of work 289 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:03,959 Speaker 3: on myself men recovery. I've gone through all my steps. 290 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:07,920 Speaker 3: I'm in therapy, you know, I've done all the things. 291 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,000 Speaker 3: And I guess I was thinking I was gonna turn 292 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:13,119 Speaker 3: around and put my heels and have instant self worth. 293 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:19,080 Speaker 3: But I do affirm the prayer, you know, But enough 294 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:24,320 Speaker 3: for all that. My dilemma today is is it a 295 00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:29,520 Speaker 3: way to act your act as if to bring forth 296 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:33,520 Speaker 3: the belief? Because I know that I get what I 297 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:37,160 Speaker 3: expect and believe, is it possible to act your way 298 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:37,680 Speaker 3: into that? 299 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:38,800 Speaker 1: No? 300 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,120 Speaker 3: Dog, that's a answer. 301 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:53,720 Speaker 1: No and goodbye. No. Next, let me let me start here, 302 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,600 Speaker 1: because I know you're a spiritual warrior, so let me 303 00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:01,600 Speaker 1: start here. How do you define self worth? How do 304 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:02,600 Speaker 1: you define it? 305 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:08,160 Speaker 3: I define self work as what I feel about myself 306 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:12,480 Speaker 3: on the outside, manifesting itself in my actions and my behavior. 307 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:16,119 Speaker 3: The good person that I am. I want that to 308 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:20,399 Speaker 3: be reflected, you know, in my behavior and my choices. 309 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,920 Speaker 1: And it's not being reflected in your behavior. 310 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,040 Speaker 3: Oh, some of my choices probably could have. 311 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 1: Been better, could have been. But when you made a 312 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:33,200 Speaker 1: poor choice or a decision, do you use that as 313 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,639 Speaker 1: your measuring tool for the next choice and decision? So 314 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:40,880 Speaker 1: let's say you know, you know that popcorn gives you gas, 315 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:45,360 Speaker 1: but you love popcorn. So do you choose to eat 316 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,480 Speaker 1: the popcorn and blow up the room? Or do you 317 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,120 Speaker 1: choose potato chips? 318 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:54,920 Speaker 3: Okay, are you using the baked potato chips? 319 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:59,560 Speaker 1: Okay? Yeah, so that says that you're choosing what you 320 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:05,000 Speaker 1: know about yourself to guide and govern your choices. But 321 00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:08,440 Speaker 1: here's where I think you're falling off the wagon. You 322 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:15,919 Speaker 1: define self worth from the outside, not from the inside. 323 00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:20,080 Speaker 1: You said that you you define self worth as what 324 00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:23,199 Speaker 1: you see on the outside being a reflection of what 325 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:28,320 Speaker 1: is on the inside. Yeah, you did. So you're defining 326 00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:35,000 Speaker 1: your worth based on external criteria as opposed to internal criteria, 327 00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:39,199 Speaker 1: and worth begins within that. I don't think your issue 328 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,280 Speaker 1: is worth. I think your issue is value. 329 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:41,800 Speaker 3: Okay. 330 00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:48,639 Speaker 1: How you see and hold yourself within yourself that determines 331 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:52,840 Speaker 1: what you do and how you do it. That's value. 332 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 1: That's not worth. How you see and hold yourself within 333 00:22:55,960 --> 00:23:00,520 Speaker 1: yourself that determines what you do and how you do it. 334 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:06,600 Speaker 1: You know, I value myself and I value my my dignity. 335 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:11,640 Speaker 1: I value my my eldership. So I'm not gonna I'm 336 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:13,400 Speaker 1: not going to get on the pole and the throng. 337 00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:18,439 Speaker 1: I'm not right because I value myself too much to 338 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,960 Speaker 1: do that. I don't care. You couldn't pay me enough 339 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,520 Speaker 1: to get on a pole and a thong. And make 340 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:37,600 Speaker 1: everybody else blind when they see me. For y'all right, 341 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:43,400 Speaker 1: it would be too much for them. They are not worthy, 342 00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:46,600 Speaker 1: they are not worthy of seeing me on the pole. 343 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:52,640 Speaker 1: So what I'm hearing you say is that there may 344 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:56,080 Speaker 1: be some tweaks you have to do in your value 345 00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:02,720 Speaker 1: that will support you in constructing what you do and 346 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:06,680 Speaker 1: don't do, how you make your choices, how you move. 347 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:15,560 Speaker 1: We'll talk about that right after this break. Welcome back 348 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:18,400 Speaker 1: to the R spot. Let's get back to the conversation. 349 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:21,639 Speaker 1: Give me an example. 350 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:24,400 Speaker 3: I can give you a hot one. 351 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:25,440 Speaker 1: Okay, give me one. 352 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 3: Oh. I sat around for years crushing on this guy, 353 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:35,280 Speaker 3: but I wouldn't say nothing because I thought that he 354 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:36,359 Speaker 3: was above me. 355 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:41,119 Speaker 1: Whoa I know, I know. 356 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:48,560 Speaker 3: And so then the opportunity came and I thought, this 357 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:52,359 Speaker 3: is it. I'm going God to hurt my prayers and 358 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:56,760 Speaker 3: I'm gonna go for it. And then when it was presented, 359 00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:02,000 Speaker 3: it was not the same type of relationship that I walled. Well, 360 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:05,200 Speaker 3: he just wanted a physical relationship. I don't know why 361 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,320 Speaker 3: whispering because it's just for a million people gonna be 362 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:07,760 Speaker 3: listening to. 363 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:11,679 Speaker 1: That, right, you know. 364 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,200 Speaker 3: And I was. I was so disappointed, but I said, 365 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:18,280 Speaker 3: you know what, I'm gonna work with this. I'm gonna 366 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,920 Speaker 3: work with this. I'm gonna go out with him because 367 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,280 Speaker 3: once he's around me, he's going to be convinced. Even 368 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:27,160 Speaker 3: though I heard I heard your voice saying when they 369 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:31,720 Speaker 3: tell you believe I heard you. I said, you know what, 370 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,159 Speaker 3: that applies to everybody else because I felt like I 371 00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:38,320 Speaker 3: knew better. But I said, if I knew better, and 372 00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:39,520 Speaker 3: I didn't do better. 373 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:42,679 Speaker 1: Okay, So when it was all said and done, I 374 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,680 Speaker 1: heard you say you were disappointed in yourself. What else, 375 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,200 Speaker 1: when it was all said and done, you didn't get 376 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,040 Speaker 1: what you wanted, you would disappoint it. 377 00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:53,520 Speaker 3: And I should have known better from the beginner. 378 00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:56,720 Speaker 1: Nope, you're beating yourself up. Were you ashamed? 379 00:25:57,840 --> 00:25:58,040 Speaker 2: Yes? 380 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:04,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, because me, I think. Did you feel guiltful or shame? 381 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:05,320 Speaker 1: No? 382 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,440 Speaker 3: Not just so shame because I just felt like, you know, 383 00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:15,199 Speaker 3: I mentor a lot of women women, yes, there you 384 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,000 Speaker 3: know that would tell them not to do it. 385 00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:22,040 Speaker 1: So here's where you went off the rail. Holding the 386 00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:26,000 Speaker 1: belief that he was above you. And you said you 387 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:30,600 Speaker 1: sat around for years, so you held the belief that 388 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:34,200 Speaker 1: he was above you, which meant you were less than him, 389 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:39,920 Speaker 1: which means that you accepted less and you compromised your value, 390 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:46,320 Speaker 1: which diminish your worth. It is it's a value issue 391 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:50,000 Speaker 1: because remember I said value determines what you will do 392 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,639 Speaker 1: and what you won't do. So what you did was 393 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:57,400 Speaker 1: accepted less and compromised yourself and went into what you 394 00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:04,160 Speaker 1: didn't want because his needs, wants, desires were greater than yours, 395 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,879 Speaker 1: all based upon the belief that he was above you. 396 00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:12,639 Speaker 3: He was more valuable than me. 397 00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:18,920 Speaker 1: Yes, And when you give something or someone more value 398 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:23,640 Speaker 1: than you believe, you are more value than you think. 399 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:28,040 Speaker 1: The way you hold yourself, you diminish your worth. So 400 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:32,200 Speaker 1: you're going to get less. You're not going to request 401 00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:34,879 Speaker 1: what you want. You're not going to require what you 402 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:38,600 Speaker 1: want because you're less than and you're going to expect 403 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:43,440 Speaker 1: that person to hold their boundaries while you relax yours. 404 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:47,359 Speaker 1: What a powerful learning. What a powerful learning. And here's 405 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:49,280 Speaker 1: I want to say this to you. I want to 406 00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:52,439 Speaker 1: say this to you because this is you know, for 407 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:57,480 Speaker 1: all teachers, mentors, you can't teach what you're not living. 408 00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:01,520 Speaker 1: It won't be authentic, it won't be received. So you're 409 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,800 Speaker 1: teaching these young girls you know the truth that you 410 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:06,720 Speaker 1: know in and what they need to do, and then 411 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,399 Speaker 1: you turn around and act like a boo boo to 412 00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:17,280 Speaker 1: fool right from up the street, right across the track, 413 00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:24,000 Speaker 1: or somewhere right. So here's a universe saying to you, Okay, 414 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,960 Speaker 1: you want to teach, you want to mentor, you gotta 415 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:30,919 Speaker 1: have integrity and you got to be authentic. You can't 416 00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:34,440 Speaker 1: have this thing going on in the back room. Can't 417 00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:38,600 Speaker 1: do that. Can't do that because the universe is trusting 418 00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:41,960 Speaker 1: you by putting young women's hearts and souls in your hand. 419 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:45,280 Speaker 1: You got to be in integrity and it's okay, you 420 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:49,960 Speaker 1: learn that lesson you. Okay, next, won't do that again. 421 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:51,440 Speaker 1: Won't do that again. 422 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:54,880 Speaker 3: I'm so glad I called me too. 423 00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:59,800 Speaker 1: So remember your worth is what you requests require and 424 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:04,120 Speaker 1: the expect for yourself that grows from how you see 425 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:08,000 Speaker 1: yourself and hold yourself within yourself. That determines what you 426 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:11,240 Speaker 1: will and won't do. That's your value. So you got 427 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:16,520 Speaker 1: to focus in on value. This is not valuing myself. 428 00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:20,240 Speaker 1: Me going into a physical relationship with somebody that I 429 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,680 Speaker 1: really want something more with. That's not valuing who I 430 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:27,040 Speaker 1: am and what I want. I'm not gonna do that. 431 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:30,680 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna do that now. I hope it was good, 432 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,240 Speaker 1: and I hope you know you had a few thrills 433 00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:35,400 Speaker 1: and stuff, because it ain't nothing wrong with that either. 434 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,560 Speaker 1: Just don't buy the wedding dress in order the invitations 435 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:45,440 Speaker 1: because he ain't the one, right, don't beat yourself up. 436 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:49,000 Speaker 1: Nookie ain't never hurt nobody. Go on with yourself now. 437 00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:55,680 Speaker 1: But if you're giving the nookie up expecting it to 438 00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,000 Speaker 1: be more when you've already been told it ain't gonna 439 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,000 Speaker 1: be no more, then that's a problem. 440 00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,560 Speaker 3: I get it. I receive it. I received it. 441 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:09,400 Speaker 1: So forgive yourself for being disappointed, forgive yourself for being ashamed, 442 00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:14,240 Speaker 1: forgive yourself for diminishing your value, forgive yourself for diminishing 443 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,400 Speaker 1: your worth, and just go on next. 444 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:20,040 Speaker 3: But so so so so thank you, so thank you. 445 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:23,840 Speaker 1: Okay, and remember worth comes from the inside, not from 446 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:29,360 Speaker 1: the outside, not from the outside, bottom line. Okay, all right, 447 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:33,560 Speaker 1: all right, warrior deep bowel to you, thank you, thank you, 448 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:39,560 Speaker 1: my love, god bye. That was juicy, And like I said, 449 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:44,880 Speaker 1: a little nookie ain't never hurt nobody. A well. I 450 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,400 Speaker 1: don't know about you, but I got a lot out 451 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,560 Speaker 1: of today's show. Lots and lots and lots of things 452 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:55,120 Speaker 1: to think about, lots and lots to consider because just 453 00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:59,120 Speaker 1: like you, just like Jada, just like every other person 454 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:03,120 Speaker 1: with a story, I too am growing in my sense 455 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:07,320 Speaker 1: of worth in the world and what I expect of 456 00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:11,080 Speaker 1: myself and for myself and what I expect from others. 457 00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:17,200 Speaker 1: You see, we got to know that worth grows from value. 458 00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:20,760 Speaker 1: So if you've got a self value issue, if you're 459 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:24,920 Speaker 1: doing things that don't value your dreams or who you are, 460 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:28,960 Speaker 1: how you identify, if you're putting yourself in situations where 461 00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:33,360 Speaker 1: you are being diminished or denied or whatever because you 462 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:36,360 Speaker 1: don't think you can get better, you're going to diminish 463 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:40,320 Speaker 1: your worth because you're not standing in your full value. 464 00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:43,160 Speaker 1: So I hope you got something today that you can use. 465 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:49,160 Speaker 1: I hope that you are requiring, requesting, and expecting all 466 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:52,960 Speaker 1: that you deserve. I hope that you know something now 467 00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:57,280 Speaker 1: that you didn't know when you tuned in. And until 468 00:31:57,280 --> 00:32:04,400 Speaker 1: we meet again, stay in peace and not present. The 469 00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:08,480 Speaker 1: R Spot is a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership 470 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:13,640 Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from Shondaland Audio, visit the 471 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:18,400 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your 472 00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:19,280 Speaker 1: favorite shows.