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Speaker 1: What is going on?

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Speaker 2: Happy Friday, everyone, Emily Badi here, you know the drill.

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Speaker 2: It's five minute Friday, and oh man, what a Friday

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Speaker 2: it is.

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Speaker 1: I am currently on a beach.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, depending on when you're listening to this, maybe

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Speaker 2: I'm not on the beach just yet. But I am

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Speaker 2: so so happy to just get some sunshine unplugged for

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Speaker 2: the weekend and have some me time. I want to

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Speaker 2: talk to you today about something I overheard on the

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Speaker 2: street which actually goes hand in hand a little bit

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Speaker 2: with these sentiments I'm going to share in my answer

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Speaker 2: to this week's listener question. So I was walking in

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Speaker 2: Midtown earlier this afternoon, and I was in front of

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Speaker 2: two men I would say, if I had to guess,

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Speaker 2: probably about my age, both of them wearing business suits,

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Speaker 2: and they're talking about going after a new opportunity in

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Speaker 2: the office. One of them is up for a promotion.

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Speaker 2: Was asking the other man if he should follow up

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Speaker 2: or how soon he should follow up after his interview,

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Speaker 2: and the man said, listen, if you are not going

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Speaker 2: after an opportunity or after the thing that you want,

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Speaker 2: then someone else is going to be doing it first.

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Speaker 2: Someone else is going to be taking that initiative and

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Speaker 2: going for it. So there's absolutely no reason to wait.

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Speaker 2: And I remember when I was young in my career,

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Speaker 2: there were how do I say this, like just so

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Speaker 2: many non written rules about etiquette and how long you

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Speaker 2: should be at a certain job and the rules surrounding

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Speaker 2: getting a promotion and what that would look like, etc.

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Speaker 1: Etc.

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Speaker 2: And I'm here to tell you that you make the rules, period.

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Speaker 2: Just like this guy said, if there's something that you

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Speaker 2: want and the only person stopping you from going after

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Speaker 2: that thing is you, then there's an issue there. So

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Speaker 2: whether it is within your personal life, within your professional life,

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Speaker 2: I ask you this week, what is it that you're

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Speaker 2: waiting for? Are you waiting to go after a certain opportunity,

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Speaker 2: a certain relationship?

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Speaker 1: Ask someone on a date.

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Speaker 2: Because you feel as though there are a set of

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Speaker 2: protocols or a set of rules that you're following.

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Speaker 1: Who's making the rules?

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Speaker 2: It's something to evaluate. It's in our work worth doing.

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Speaker 2: To ask yourself what is it that's holding me back?

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Speaker 2: Don't make yourself follow someone else's timeline, because when you

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Speaker 2: do that, you are the only person that you are

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Speaker 2: doing a disservice too. Remember that each of us no

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Speaker 2: matter who we are, where we are, what we look like,

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Speaker 2: our background or sexual orientation. We all have so much

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Speaker 2: to offer this world, right and there's only one you,

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Speaker 2: So stand on your own two feet and go after

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Speaker 2: whatever it is that you're after. My question for you

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Speaker 2: this week, let's do a little exercise. Okay, what do

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Speaker 2: you bring to the table? And I mean that in

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Speaker 2: two different ways. What do you bring to the table

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Speaker 2: in terms of what are the attributes and the qualities

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Speaker 2: that you have that make you proud of you? Okay,

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Speaker 2: what are the attributes that you possess that make you

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Speaker 2: proud of you, things that you love about yourself? And

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Speaker 2: also why don't you get a little bit honest about

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Speaker 2: what else is going on in your life? Is there

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Speaker 2: a burden on your shoulders right now? And that's what

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Speaker 2: you're bringing to the table. Be upfront about what's happening

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Speaker 2: for you, and having that awareness will enable you to

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Speaker 2: show up more yourself in whatever situation that you're in

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Speaker 2: moving forward. And now they're related a listener question.

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Speaker 3: Hey, Emily Marie here, as someone who is just affected

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Speaker 3: by the mass of layoffs some big tech how do

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Speaker 3: I get over the hurdle of being embarrassed. How do

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Speaker 3: I not fall ill with impostor syndrome analyzing what I

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Speaker 3: did wrong or why me? And finally, how do I

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Speaker 3: cheer and support my ex coworkers who are in the

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Speaker 3: same boat without also fighting against them for a new role.

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Speaker 3: I really want to support them, but I also am

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Speaker 3: really stressed about my family's future. Thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: Hey, Marie.

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Speaker 2: Firstly, thank you for coming to me for advice on this.

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Speaker 2: I've been there for those of you that aren't familiar

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Speaker 2: with my story. Actually, part of the reason I'm behind

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Speaker 2: the mic right now is because I've been there. I

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Speaker 2: am a career journalist. I worked in house for three

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Speaker 2: different big companies before going out on this entrepreneurial journey

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Speaker 2: on my own, and the catalyst for doing that was

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Speaker 2: because of my second layoff when Self magazine shuddered, and

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Speaker 2: I remember feeling so many of the things that you

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Speaker 2: are expressing. I cannot reiterate this enough in this moment.

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Speaker 2: It is so understandable how you feel right now period.

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Speaker 2: I want you to know that you are not alone.

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Speaker 2: I've got some stats for you. In twenty twenty one alone,

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Speaker 2: there were seventeen million layoffs. Also, of note, forty percent

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Speaker 2: of Americans have been laid off or terminated from a

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Speaker 2: job at least once. At least once, so that means

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Speaker 2: many more than once myself, raising hand included. So I

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Speaker 2: hope that those statistics enable you to feel a little

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Speaker 2: less embarrassed, knowing that you are certainly not the only

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Speaker 2: person who has had to deal with this, especially with

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Speaker 2: what we're going through in today's economy. One tool that

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Speaker 2: I would encourage you to use as you navigate this

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Speaker 2: difficult time is to name your feelings right because it

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Speaker 2: is so easy for us to blame ourselves and ruminate

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Speaker 2: on the things that we could have done differently. But

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Speaker 2: the fact is that when we do that, we're not

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Speaker 2: really being productive. So in order to make the most

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Speaker 2: of your energy to maximize your output, I would encourage

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Speaker 2: you to sit down and write out how you feel,

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Speaker 2: get really specific, the nitty gritty, the little words, because

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Speaker 2: that is going to help you process the grief that

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Speaker 2: you're experiencing and move forward. Now, when it comes to

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Speaker 2: experiencing and poster syndrome, what I will say here is

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Speaker 2: that unless you believe something to be true, then it

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Speaker 2: won't be true. So even though there can be so

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Speaker 2: many people that believe in you, that see your big potential.

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Speaker 2: If you don't walk into a room and garner that

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Speaker 2: same feeling with the people that you meet, you don't

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Speaker 2: walk into a room and act as if you are

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Speaker 2: the best thing that you are, your biggest type woman,

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Speaker 2: You're welcome, then that's going to set you back. So

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Speaker 2: the question is how do I shove imposter syndrome.

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Speaker 1: To the side.

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Speaker 2: I would encourage you to start by naming your strengths

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Speaker 2: and if during that exercise you have difficulty, then I

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Speaker 2: would suggest you reach out to former employees, former bosses,

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Speaker 2: friends to articulate your strengths. This will help you bring

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Speaker 2: all of the things that you're good at, your capabilities

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Speaker 2: into focus. So some specific questions that you can ask

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Speaker 2: what made me a great coworker? Specifically what strengths did

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Speaker 2: you notice? And if there was a certain time that

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Speaker 2: you were aware that I was really in my element,

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Speaker 2: what was going on?

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Speaker 1: What was I doing at my quote unquote best.

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Speaker 2: Not only are these questions asking others to reflect on

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Speaker 2: your strengths an opportunity for you to get a little

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Speaker 2: boost of confidence, but then with that newfound confidence, you

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Speaker 2: can take a step back and reflect and recognize that

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Speaker 2: even amidst this transitional moment, you still have so much

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Speaker 2: to bring to the table. And then the last part

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Speaker 2: of this question, you asked about how you can cheer

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Speaker 2: on ex coworkers when you may be going up for

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Speaker 2: the same jobs. Listen, I get it. I'm an empathetic person.

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Speaker 2: I'm always trying to help other people out, to lift

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Speaker 2: other people up. You can be firm and kind, and

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Speaker 2: what I mean by that is you need to put

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Speaker 2: yourself first. You articulated that you have a family that

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Speaker 2: you are concerned about. Even when I was navigating this

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Speaker 2: as a single woman, I had me to take care of, right,

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Speaker 2: So yes, it's stressed. You have to put yourself first

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Speaker 2: and in doing that, go after the opportunities that you

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Speaker 2: are interested in. It is unspoken that there will be

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Speaker 2: people that you know going up for the same opportunities

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Speaker 2: that you are after. And with that said, that doesn't

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Speaker 2: mean that you have any less of a chance. So

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Speaker 2: start with you start by being your own hype man.

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Speaker 2: Prioritize your own next steps, and put yourself first. Because

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Speaker 2: we know this and I talk about it all the

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Speaker 2: time on the show, that in order to show up

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Speaker 2: for others, including your family, including your friends, including your

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Speaker 2: old coworkers that you do care about. You've got to

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Speaker 2: put your oxygen mask on first, and so I encourage

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Speaker 2: you moving forward to try and shift your perspective. Me

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Speaker 2: my layoff, it was, without a doubt, one of the

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Speaker 2: best things to happen in my career. And I know

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Speaker 2: that it does not feel that way right now. Trust me,

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Speaker 2: it didn't feel that way for me back then. But

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Speaker 2: I do not know a single person who has been

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Speaker 2: let go from a job and is not better for

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Speaker 2: it now. Looking back on that time, I was forced

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Speaker 2: to get uncomfortable, I was forced to flex new muscles,

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Speaker 2: I was forced to try new things, and for that

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Speaker 2: I am eternally better for it.

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Speaker 1: That's it. I hope this advice helps. I encourage you.

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Speaker 2: If you have questions about job, work, life, personal, whatever

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Speaker 2: it is, I want to answer them here on the show.

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Speaker 2: So do me a solid and send me a voice message.

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Speaker 2: The link to do that, the link to ask me

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Speaker 2: a question is in the show notes. And if for

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Speaker 2: some reason that feels like it might not be working

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Speaker 2: for you, you can always always send a voice recording

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Speaker 2: from your phone over to us at Hello at hurdle

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Speaker 2: dot us.

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Speaker 1: That's it for now.

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Speaker 2: Make sure you're following along over on Socialists at Hurdle Podcast.

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Speaker 2: I am over at Emily a Body Another hurdle conquered.

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Speaker 2: Catch you guys next time.

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Speaker 3: Through all