Speaker 1: Episode one, the Importance of accountability and finding your people.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
Speaker 1: save money, embrace simplicity, and live with your life. Here
Speaker 1: your host Jen and Jill m M. Welcome to the
Speaker 1: Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my name is Jill,
Speaker 1: And happy last day of the year. If you're listening
Speaker 1: to this on the day it comes out, otherwise, Happy
Speaker 1: New Year, Happy New Year's Eve, Happy New Year. We're
Speaker 1: at that threshold. Yes, So whether you're listening to this
Speaker 1: in one or two, we want to start off this
Speaker 1: year with a really important conversation that I don't think
Speaker 1: a lot of of financial podcast talk about because it's
Speaker 1: kind of like finance adjacent, and that's accountability groups and
Speaker 1: partnership and really community as a whole and the role
Speaker 1: it plays in your finances. We love to talk about
Speaker 1: goal setting and changes we're going to make in the
Speaker 1: new year, but we don't often consider what are the
Speaker 1: specific ways that I'm going to be able to stick
Speaker 1: to those? And accountability groups, partners people who are in
Speaker 1: your corner is so so important for that. So this is, oh,
Speaker 1: we hope going to be so beneficial for all of you,
Speaker 1: whether you've got financial goals or otherwise heading into the
Speaker 1: new year. This is relevant absolutely if you have New
Speaker 1: Year's resolutions, you definitely want to stick around for this
Speaker 1: entire episode. The first our sponsors the Financial Freedom Mentorship.
Speaker 1: How amazing does this sound? Club BFS has rebranded to
Speaker 1: the Financial Freedom Mentorship. We've still got a literation in there,
Speaker 1: it's just more complete with what's actually happening in over there.
Speaker 1: So it's a mentorship program where we will be with
Speaker 1: you on your journey from wherever you are starting to
Speaker 1: your first six figures of net worth. In this group,
Speaker 1: you will get multiple q and a's and trainings with
Speaker 1: us Jen and Jill and guest experts every month, as
Speaker 1: well as a space to create accountability groups where you
Speaker 1: can support each other while doing super fun challenges. If
Speaker 1: you feel like you need support in this extremely foundational
Speaker 1: part of your financial journey, then check out the mentorship
Speaker 1: at Frugal Friends Podcast dot com slash f f M
Speaker 1: right now to learn more. Because doors close on January second, Yes,
Speaker 1: so we hope to see every everybody in there. We
Speaker 1: have so many great things coming to you this year
Speaker 1: in that program, and it's going to make reaching a
Speaker 1: six figure net worth a lot more fun and manageable
Speaker 1: and not feel so alone. So this episode is also
Speaker 1: brought to you by making friends in your thirties. Making
Speaker 1: friends in your twenties is much easier than your thirties,
Speaker 1: And if you don't believe me, then you're still in
Speaker 1: your twenties. It's hard when your college friends have moved
Speaker 1: away or have too many kids, and your co workers
Speaker 1: or fellow moms aren't on the same path as you.
Speaker 1: There comes a point in your life where you have
Speaker 1: to stop trying to be cool and start asking the
Speaker 1: hard questions like will you be my close friend? Making
Speaker 1: friends in your thirties. Acquaintances are everywhere, but you need
Speaker 1: real friends beautiful, right, beautiful, painful and ways horrible. And
Speaker 1: I know we have a lot of listeners and they're
Speaker 1: like forties and fifties and even six season. I can
Speaker 1: hear them in my mind like saying, yeah, wait till
Speaker 1: you're my age. So I think it's important to understand
Speaker 1: this concept early and be intentional in creating community that's
Speaker 1: right for the season that you're in, Because all friends
Speaker 1: are great, but some friends are here for a season,
Speaker 1: and some relationships aren't just for fun. Some relationships are
Speaker 1: meant to still be fun, but are meant to make
Speaker 1: you a better person. And sometimes we have to be
Speaker 1: intentional in creating relationships around a shared goal. And so
Speaker 1: that is the heart behind what we were talking about today.
Speaker 1: Good segue, Jen, And when you do find a really
Speaker 1: good friend that you want to stick around for a
Speaker 1: long long time, start a podcast with them. And if
Speaker 1: you get nothing else out of this episode, that's the
Speaker 1: real no get that we want you to take away. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so then they have to stick around, you have to
Speaker 1: talk with them weekly. It's like built in accountability. Yes, decision.
Speaker 1: I really, I really don't think that's a bad idea. Honestly.
Speaker 1: I think you could like host like a fifteen minute
Speaker 1: podcast every week with your like accountability check ins, and
Speaker 1: I think people would get value out of that no
Speaker 1: matter who you are. So that's just that's a side note, Yeah,
Speaker 1: a little side hustle tip. Yes. So the first article
Speaker 1: that we have today is from Mission dot org and
Speaker 1: it's by David Burkis. It's you are not the average
Speaker 1: of the five people you surround yourself with. What do
Speaker 1: you think of this one? Jill? Controversial, super interesting, of course,
Speaker 1: they go on to explain that the reason that you're
Speaker 1: not just the sum of the five people is because
Speaker 1: you're it's more than that, you are actually the sum
Speaker 1: of the friends of those five people, and the friends
Speaker 1: of friends of those five people. So really cool, unique
Speaker 1: perspective brought here, which is definitely relevant to what we're
Speaker 1: talking about when it comes to accountability and getting at
Speaker 1: certain goals and achieving the things that we want to
Speaker 1: achieve in our lives. And really interesting research that they
Speaker 1: reference to support what they're saying here. I found this
Speaker 1: article a while ago when I was writing the second
Speaker 1: edition of No Spend Challenge Guide, which is out now,
Speaker 1: and I found it. It's so interesting. We talked about
Speaker 1: it in our live trainings, and I'm so glad we're
Speaker 1: finally getting to talk about it on the show, because
Speaker 1: it was it was a shocking like the studies that
Speaker 1: he is referencing are there's multiple and they're really interesting
Speaker 1: because we've probably all heard the quote like you're average
Speaker 1: of the five people you spend the most time with,
Speaker 1: and that's attributed to Jim Run And then there's also
Speaker 1: a variation this is show me your friends and I'll
Speaker 1: show you your future. But to find out that it's
Speaker 1: not just the people around you, but it's actually the
Speaker 1: people around them too, it was shocking, but it made
Speaker 1: a lot of sense because I see people on my
Speaker 1: news feed on Facebook, I see what they share. I
Speaker 1: see friends of friends like on there, and I see
Speaker 1: that on Instagram as well. I see who they share,
Speaker 1: and I am affected in some small way by those
Speaker 1: people as well. And even if they don't know them,
Speaker 1: if they are you know, influencers or celebrities that my
Speaker 1: friends follow or admire and share, I am affected by
Speaker 1: those people as well. So the more friends I have
Speaker 1: that are into reality TV, the more I'll be into
Speaker 1: it and stuff like that. So it's just super interesting. Yes,
Speaker 1: And so they talk about the research that they're talking
Speaker 1: about here. There's there was a major study done on
Speaker 1: this breadth of social influence that we're talking about here,
Speaker 1: where two people, Christakis and Fowler, examined a data set
Speaker 1: from the framing Ham Heart study. So turns out, and
Speaker 1: this is this is accurate for a lot of research studies,
Speaker 1: is that it often they might be studying one thing
Speaker 1: in particular, but the data that they collect can be
Speaker 1: useful in studying other types of correlations. So because this
Speaker 1: framing Ham heart study was conducted over such a long
Speaker 1: period of time and so much data was collected on
Speaker 1: a variety of things, these two individuals were able to
Speaker 1: utilize that data set to look at things outside of
Speaker 1: what the initial study was even looking at originally, which
Speaker 1: was arts. It was a heart study, but again so
Speaker 1: much data was collected on that, and what they were
Speaker 1: finding was one thing that they site is smoking. How
Speaker 1: you are more likely to smoke or think that smoking
Speaker 1: is an all right acceptable norm to participate in. If
Speaker 1: not just your friends smoke, but if the friends of
Speaker 1: their friends smoke, it something about it. It increases likelihood
Speaker 1: by ten to twenty. Yeah, so they found that if
Speaker 1: your friend smokes, then you're six more likely to be
Speaker 1: a smoker, which obviously makes sense. But they found even
Speaker 1: if your friend doesn't smoke and their friends smokes, there's
Speaker 1: still a more likelihood that you are not like talking
Speaker 1: to to you specifically, but a subject would be a smoker.
Speaker 1: And so the last one is if it's a friend
Speaker 1: of a friend, the likelihood is eleven percent more. And
Speaker 1: so they did the same study on happiness to the
Speaker 1: researchers found that Obviously, happy friends make you happier. But
Speaker 1: if your friend of a friend of a friend is
Speaker 1: happy with their life, then the subject you have a
Speaker 1: six percent greater likelihood of being happy yourself. And so
Speaker 1: six percent doesn't seem like a lot, but it says
Speaker 1: considering that other studies suggest if uh, if I gave
Speaker 1: you a dollar raise that would only trigger about a
Speaker 1: two percent increase in happiness, that six percent seems significant.
Speaker 1: It's true. Wow, yeah, so I like how they reference.
Speaker 1: It can go both ways, right, whether beneficial influence or
Speaker 1: non beneficial influence. As far as you know, maybe overall
Speaker 1: health goes this can be accurate And so well, I
Speaker 1: don't want to set up a whole here's how you
Speaker 1: should live your life. Cut out everybody who's friends of
Speaker 1: friends of friends are making bad decisions. But it is
Speaker 1: worth looking at the larger community that you're involved in.
Speaker 1: That it isn't just those in your immediate network that
Speaker 1: bear influence on you. It's a much wider network than
Speaker 1: even that. So I think so much can be taken
Speaker 1: from this and just our understanding of how do we
Speaker 1: engage in the world around us, what leads to the
Speaker 1: decisions that we make. Again, whether beneficial or not beneficial.
Speaker 1: And I think in some ways too, there's a flip
Speaker 1: side to this to recognize the influence that we are
Speaker 1: having on people can be a motivator for the decisions
Speaker 1: and intentionality that we are experiencing in our life. To know,
Speaker 1: I'm not just affecting those in my immediate circle. I'm
Speaker 1: affecting their friends of friends of friends. Right, it goes
Speaker 1: both directions. So I think it's a really interesting study
Speaker 1: from multiple perspectives. Yeah, so I was interested in why
Speaker 1: this happens, and so the author of this article said
Speaker 1: that it appears to be that the researchers said it
Speaker 1: appears to be norms. Uh So, if your friend is
Speaker 1: a smoker, or a friend of a friend is a smoker,
Speaker 1: that changes your perception of what is acceptable to be
Speaker 1: part of the greater community. So I think back of
Speaker 1: on like a caveman times and and one of our
Speaker 1: like core needs is to be part of the larger
Speaker 1: group to protect ourselves. And so we're going to do
Speaker 1: the least amount we need to do in order to
Speaker 1: be accepted by the group at large. That's kind of
Speaker 1: like our primal instinct. And so if we can, if
Speaker 1: we have a bad habit and we can still be
Speaker 1: accepted by the group even if that group doesn't share
Speaker 1: the habit, then we won't have any motivation to change
Speaker 1: the habit. And so this one talks a lot about
Speaker 1: like smoking and happiness, but we can kind of translate
Speaker 1: that to like over consumption. So if we are shopping
Speaker 1: every weekend, if we are impulse buying all the time online,
Speaker 1: you name it, whatever you believe is your limiting habit.
Speaker 1: If you can do that and still be accepted by
Speaker 1: your group, then you have really no immediate motivation to change.
Speaker 1: And so that's why I think this is super interesting
Speaker 1: because we don't often think about our like caveman instincts.
Speaker 1: That's a there's a better word for that, I know, time, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: belonging and how we seek for that, and what are
Speaker 1: our motivating factors and how does our community help or
Speaker 1: inhibit the things that we actually want to see in
Speaker 1: our lives. I like the questions that they ask within
Speaker 1: this article of you know, where do you sit inside
Speaker 1: of the larger network of your social community? And you know,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying take a deep, creepy dive into everybody's
Speaker 1: social media to see like who are their friends of
Speaker 1: friends of friends. But I think too it could It
Speaker 1: could mean even just changing or adding one person in
Speaker 1: your life who is healthy and aimed at similar at
Speaker 1: least aimed at health, aimed at similar goals. You're not
Speaker 1: just being influenced by that one person, but whoever their
Speaker 1: network is, and if they are in a beneficial place,
Speaker 1: chances are they're also surrounded by others who are aimed
Speaker 1: at health and well being. And so even making small
Speaker 1: changes or additions to our community can mean an astronomical
Speaker 1: impact on you know, what we're choosing with our lives.
Speaker 1: Absolutely so. And the the last thing I'll say about
Speaker 1: this one is that I actually went and tried to
Speaker 1: read the original study and it is long, and I
Speaker 1: do not recommend you trying the same, but I think
Speaker 1: so even more than this article. The study actually focuses
Speaker 1: on the people's efforts to quit smoking, so not just
Speaker 1: them being a smokers, but like, how many people do
Speaker 1: you kind of need around you in order to like
Speaker 1: quit smoking? And it was the same. I don't remember
Speaker 1: the numbers, but it was the same. They saw the
Speaker 1: same thing. So if people around them were trying to
Speaker 1: quit smoking, they quit much faster and much earlier than
Speaker 1: if the people around them weren't try and quit smoking,
Speaker 1: even amidst all of the media online that was trying
Speaker 1: to frame smoking as unhealthy because remember like then, I
Speaker 1: can't remember the nineties or two thems, I don't, I
Speaker 1: don't remember, but there was so much on the internet
Speaker 1: and the TV and the radio about how smoking is
Speaker 1: bad and you should stop. So everybody was hearing this,
Speaker 1: but it was the people who were surrounded by other
Speaker 1: people who were quitting. Those are the ones that were
Speaker 1: most likely and that was far more powerful than just
Speaker 1: hearing the information. So take that too. It's not that
Speaker 1: you may need more information to work better, but you
Speaker 1: need like more people in your life doing the actions
Speaker 1: in order to get better. Amazing gen Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: have anything to add other than yes, that would take
Speaker 1: away for sure. Doesn't have much to do with how
Speaker 1: much more you read or see propaganda about the thing.
Speaker 1: You need people in your corner supporting Gosh. If that's
Speaker 1: not a reason for accountability, absolutely. Our next article, and
Speaker 1: it is a perfect segue into that, is from ink
Speaker 1: and it is five steps to an effective accountability partnership
Speaker 1: and two things to never do and so I think
Speaker 1: this can be really relevant if you're going into a
Speaker 1: relationship to just be accountability partners, and I think that's
Speaker 1: totally fine. I don't think your best friends need to
Speaker 1: be your accountability partners. I don't think that they're your
Speaker 1: core group can be everything for you. Sometimes in a season,
Speaker 1: we need relationships for uh singular purpose and that's okay
Speaker 1: and that's healthy. You have permission to do so. So
Speaker 1: these can be for those, you know, intentional relationships, but
Speaker 1: it can also just be a gauge for relationships in general. Nice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: with this article, I like how they delineate between some
Speaker 1: of the differences as it relates to the types of
Speaker 1: accountability relationships we might find ourselves in. So I just
Speaker 1: want to do a quick run through that before we
Speaker 1: talk about the five tips. They mentioned partnerships, coaches, and groups,
Speaker 1: and so some differences for each one of these that
Speaker 1: might be more or less helpful depending on where you're at.
Speaker 1: So they they suggest that partnerships are most helpful when
Speaker 1: you have a very specific goal in mind and you
Speaker 1: are very clear on what needs to be done to
Speaker 1: reach that goal. So partnerships meaning just you and another
Speaker 1: person right that that is a partnership just two people
Speaker 1: versus having a coach. So you could have an accountability coach,
Speaker 1: which there's not necessarily reciprocity with that accountability. The coach
Speaker 1: is kind of just tracking you and your progress. A
Speaker 1: coach could provide increased consistency. Right, A partnership or a
Speaker 1: group might have more chances of not sticking with it
Speaker 1: or canceling last minute meetings versus a coach who you're
Speaker 1: probably paying them to be a coach to you, and
Speaker 1: so there's more more increased consistency probably, And coaches typically
Speaker 1: provide resources to you, whether it's books or charts or
Speaker 1: templates or whatever. Right, there's something that you're paying them for.
Speaker 1: It's their expertise and their resources, but again it's not reciprocal.
Speaker 1: And then you've got groups, which is, as it sounds,
Speaker 1: more people you and let's say two or three other people.
Speaker 1: And the article recommends that this is really great for
Speaker 1: people who might be in a similar stage or community
Speaker 1: or with aligned goals. You're all kind of aiming at
Speaker 1: something similar. So let's say you might have an accountability
Speaker 1: group around fitness or an accountability group around finances, as
Speaker 1: you name it. But that would be a really good
Speaker 1: useful space for a group if you've got a similar
Speaker 1: topic that you want accountability on. Yeah, I know a
Speaker 1: lot of financial coaches and they are definitely not cheap.
Speaker 1: They're more affordable than financial advisors. They do different things,
Speaker 1: and yeah, I think having Honestly, I think having that
Speaker 1: reciprocity is super important to the journey because I when
Speaker 1: I started my blog while I was paying off debt,
Speaker 1: it was that like feeling that I was giving back
Speaker 1: that kept me motivated and wanted. It made me want
Speaker 1: to do more so that I could give back more,
Speaker 1: and for me that was super important. So I'm sure
Speaker 1: I'm not alone in that, and I wasn't even getting
Speaker 1: anything out of it. I just wanted to help more
Speaker 1: people with what I had learned. And so I think
Speaker 1: that reciprocity in relationships, in in partner ships is super valuable.
Speaker 1: You are not just there to take, you are not entitled,
Speaker 1: but you are there to give as well. I agree.
Speaker 1: I think that there's space for coaches, and there's times
Speaker 1: in our lives when we when we want an expert,
Speaker 1: you know, helping us through that process. But for me personally,
Speaker 1: I do better when there is that back and forth
Speaker 1: and there doesn't feel like this hierarchy because of course,
Speaker 1: even when you're in partnerships or groups, there's somebody who
Speaker 1: has done well in one area but might need help
Speaker 1: in another, and you might do really well in one
Speaker 1: area but need help in another, and so yeah, there's
Speaker 1: that reciprocity again. So absolutely all right, So let's go
Speaker 1: through all five of these steps to ensuring successful accountability relationships.
Speaker 1: The first one is know what you need. Accountability has
Speaker 1: to be tied to specific outcomes. We can't reach our
Speaker 1: destination if we don't know where we are going. So
Speaker 1: for us, we focus on the financial accountability aspect, so
Speaker 1: we we all want to get to a certain place
Speaker 1: in our finances. But even then, different people are at
Speaker 1: different parts of the journey, and you can still have
Speaker 1: a successful accountability relationship with someone who is on a
Speaker 1: different place, whether it is beyond or behind you. You
Speaker 1: can still benefit from having that external sounding board, that
Speaker 1: third party. Um, I mean, Jill, we were just having
Speaker 1: a conversation before we recorded where you were like being
Speaker 1: like the sounding board and the you know, third party
Speaker 1: between me and my head. You were the third in
Speaker 1: this partnership. Sometimes there's a third party so like, that's
Speaker 1: so healthy, Like to have somebody hearing our thoughts who's
Speaker 1: outside of our head Like that in itself is just healthy.
Speaker 1: So you have to but you first you have to
Speaker 1: know your financial goals before you get into because they
Speaker 1: need to know what you're you know, what you're true
Speaker 1: north is, what you're deeper, yes is so they can
Speaker 1: be like an accurate sounding board, right, because otherwise you
Speaker 1: could just end up adopting somebody else's goals or ideas
Speaker 1: on what's important to be focusing on next. So that
Speaker 1: is really something that has to come from inside of you.
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean that there's not room for tweaking, making
Speaker 1: it more realistic, you name it. But you have to
Speaker 1: know what area do I really need to focus in on,
Speaker 1: how do I want that to look, and then get
Speaker 1: into accountability with somebody or a group of people. The
Speaker 1: second tip on here is to make it a priority.
Speaker 1: We all know this, but implementation can be tough. But
Speaker 1: I really love what they're highlighting here that when you're
Speaker 1: in an accountability relationship, again, it's a two way street,
Speaker 1: so it is not just about you, and so it's
Speaker 1: really important to establish and honor the structure of what
Speaker 1: that accountability relationship is looking like. Even if you're in
Speaker 1: a group, if one member is not making it a priority,
Speaker 1: the entire group is going to feel it. And that's
Speaker 1: not to bring shame on anybody who just might not
Speaker 1: be able to make the commitment. But then we have
Speaker 1: to be realistic about that of can we make this
Speaker 1: commitment or maybe is is this not where my priorities
Speaker 1: are and I don't need to be a part of
Speaker 1: this accountability partnership or group right now, so making it
Speaker 1: a priority. I will add on to this just a
Speaker 1: little activity that can help in identifying priorities. I'm sure
Speaker 1: many people are familiar with this exercise where you get
Speaker 1: a container and then gather up some big rocks, like
Speaker 1: I would say three to five large rocks, some smaller pebbles,
Speaker 1: and water, and consider what you want each of those
Speaker 1: elements to represent. What do you have currently in your life?
Speaker 1: What are the big rocks? It may not be accurate,
Speaker 1: but you might want to identify right now, Actually the
Speaker 1: big rocks in my life are family, my relationship with
Speaker 1: so and so, this goal you name it, And then
Speaker 1: what are the pebbles? What are the lesser priorities in
Speaker 1: my life, and then what gets filled in around it,
Speaker 1: which would be the water, and keeping that out as
Speaker 1: a visual representation and even the list of what did
Speaker 1: you identify were the big rocks those go into the
Speaker 1: container first, what were the pebbles that fill in the
Speaker 1: container around it? And then the water being the least priority,
Speaker 1: right and if all the water doesn't fit, then okay,
Speaker 1: it can flow over the side and be gone. And
Speaker 1: having this as a visual reminder can help when we're
Speaker 1: talking about priority. So that's just my little side tip
Speaker 1: exercise for identifying what are your priorities right now and
Speaker 1: how can we stick with them with some visual reminders.
Speaker 1: I love that. That's cute. I've never heard of that before.
Speaker 1: All right, well, there you go. Yeah, that's cool. Alright.
Speaker 1: So the third one is to use a custom tracking system.
Speaker 1: So for this author, for their own accountability partnerships and
Speaker 1: for their clients, they have established their own like daily worksheet,
Speaker 1: weekly worksheet, and quarterly goal setting worksheet. I don't necessarily
Speaker 1: think you have to develop your own systems and worksheets,
Speaker 1: but what you can do is you can get them
Speaker 1: and you can track them, customize the tracking words. So
Speaker 1: I am this huge proponent of always customizing your financial goals,
Speaker 1: your financial journey, everything you do, because when you customize it,
Speaker 1: when you take the initiative to do something different and
Speaker 1: do it intentionally for an intentional reason, you're more likely
Speaker 1: to stick with it versus if you're just doing somebody
Speaker 1: else's plan that they've laid out and you can't do
Speaker 1: it to their standards, so you give up. So a
Speaker 1: huge proponent of of whatever you can customize, customize it
Speaker 1: as long as you're customizing it in a way that
Speaker 1: leads to growth. And that's that classic do what works
Speaker 1: for you. There is freedom in this process, but with
Speaker 1: the goal of growth and reaching goals that we set
Speaker 1: for ourselves. Yeah, and I kind of I kind of
Speaker 1: glossed over the tracking system part of this one, but
Speaker 1: it is super important to have a way to track
Speaker 1: your progress. And if you are sharing a tracking system
Speaker 1: with your partner or your group, and you can have
Speaker 1: that visual guidance, that visual reminder, just like Jill was saying,
Speaker 1: it can be really powerful and and something we learned
Speaker 1: from j Aimes clear in his book Atomic Habits. It's
Speaker 1: okay if you miss one day, but make it your
Speaker 1: goal to never miss two. In a row. So if
Speaker 1: you do have a visual reminder, try not to break
Speaker 1: the streak, but if you do, don't break it twice beautiful.
Speaker 1: Number four on here is to prioritize your goal setting activities.
Speaker 1: So they reference that it is excellent to have goals,
Speaker 1: but actually executing on those goals is what's going to
Speaker 1: matter long term. And so for accountability to work, we
Speaker 1: actually have to have activities around how we are setting
Speaker 1: and achieving these goals. So actual tactical ways that will
Speaker 1: lead to outcomes in some strategized ways is going to
Speaker 1: be the secret to goal setting and goal achieving. So
Speaker 1: making sure that within our accountability partnerships and groups that
Speaker 1: we actually have activities, steps, strategies around how we're going
Speaker 1: about this, and that we're meeting and talking about the
Speaker 1: activities that we're doing in order to achieve those goals. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for us, we love challenges. We think a really great
Speaker 1: way to structure a partnership or group is around doing
Speaker 1: a shared challenge because it's not it also breaks up
Speaker 1: the monotony of doing something for a long time. It
Speaker 1: takes a long time to pay off debt, it takes
Speaker 1: a long time to build a six figure net worth,
Speaker 1: and if you can do things along that journey that
Speaker 1: break up the monotony, you have a far higher likelihood
Speaker 1: of staying engaged and sticking with it. So we you know,
Speaker 1: like no spend challenge, pantry challenge, core values budgeting, all
Speaker 1: kinds of challenges and doing those things with a group
Speaker 1: keep you sticking with it, keep you sticking with the challenge,
Speaker 1: so that the end you've kind of like turbocharged your
Speaker 1: month or something to get to your ultimate goal faster.
Speaker 1: So it's like a win win, uh, And yeah, and
Speaker 1: you get to prioritize one thing at a time too.
Speaker 1: When you're doing a challenge that's focused on one thing,
Speaker 1: then you don't get so overwhelmed by all of the
Speaker 1: things that you could be doing. And it just provides
Speaker 1: such a great guide and makes it fun and gamifies that.
Speaker 1: There's so many reasons why that's a good activity around
Speaker 1: goal setting. Yeah. The fifth one in what to do
Speaker 1: is to choose your partner or group wisely making sure
Speaker 1: it works for you. And so there are a lot
Speaker 1: of different kinds of people doing different kinds of things,
Speaker 1: all ultimately trying to get to financial freedom. But even
Speaker 1: that looks different for a lot of different people. So
Speaker 1: you really you have to choose people who are of
Speaker 1: similar interest they are as committed as you are, you've
Speaker 1: got similar values, can be available when you're available. Um,
Speaker 1: And that's like, I don't want to harp on it,
Speaker 1: but that was kind of our when we launched Club
Speaker 1: BFF six months ago. That's what we wanted to provide, Like,
Speaker 1: because if you listen to Frugal Friends, somebody else who
Speaker 1: listens to Frugal Friends is going to pretty similar goals
Speaker 1: and values and like interests. Like, we find that our
Speaker 1: listeners are generally cool people. You know, We've cool fun yeah,
Speaker 1: And so I mean I don't want to rag on
Speaker 1: other people's podcast listeners, but they're just like not as
Speaker 1: cool as you, you know, And so we wanted to
Speaker 1: bring you together. I mean, this is an immunity in
Speaker 1: and of itself, for sure, there's so much more to
Speaker 1: be said about that. But and even within what is
Speaker 1: now financial freedom mentorship, we've got the opportunity to meet
Speaker 1: other people, right, Like, you've got similar folks within the group.
Speaker 1: But then beyond that, we didn't want to just pair
Speaker 1: people up and assign them, but rather recognizing this very
Speaker 1: real factor that it's got to be a good fit.
Speaker 1: We have to choose who are smaller group of accountability
Speaker 1: people are going to be and so we'll provide the
Speaker 1: platform for it, but we're not going to tell you
Speaker 1: exactly who you have to meet with every week. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: and I think having somebody in person, If you could
Speaker 1: have somebody in person that you could meet with physically,
Speaker 1: that's ideal. That's first like, if you could do that,
Speaker 1: do that. If that's not working, then here's an alternative.
Speaker 1: So like in financial freedom mentorship, that's our idea behind it.
Speaker 1: And you never know, you could meet somebody and then
Speaker 1: convince them to move to where you live like Jen
Speaker 1: did with me. It would take a podcast and roughly
Speaker 1: two and a half years of podcasting, and so start
Speaker 1: now your podcast now if you want to have a
Speaker 1: journey like every message, Yeah, it's a secondary message of
Speaker 1: the show. Podcast. Well, let's talk about pitfalls. Sometimes it
Speaker 1: can go really great, but sometimes there's pitfalls along the way.
Speaker 1: And so you've heard me talk about priorities. One of
Speaker 1: the biggest pitfalls in accountability groups not going well is
Speaker 1: d prioritizing your accountability partnership or group. So we know
Speaker 1: that life can happen right, and it can interrupt our momentum.
Speaker 1: Things can happen within our circumstances. Some that's inside of
Speaker 1: our control, some that's outside of our control. But the
Speaker 1: key here is to be honest along the way with
Speaker 1: your group or with your partner. Otherwise, trying to fake it,
Speaker 1: trying to be be in act like you're invested when
Speaker 1: you're not actually invested, can leave to resentment in your
Speaker 1: partnerships or groups. People will see it. People will pick
Speaker 1: up on whether or not you're doing the thing or
Speaker 1: you're not doing the thing. So again, if we're if
Speaker 1: we want accountability and we want to be a part
Speaker 1: of that, the pitfall is de prioritizing it. If you
Speaker 1: really want that, we need to have ways to stick
Speaker 1: with it and then to be honest and recognize when
Speaker 1: it has no longer become a priority, when it's no
Speaker 1: longer a big rock in our bucket, but a pebble
Speaker 1: or even water within our bucket. But we've got to
Speaker 1: be realistic when that happens and make shifts along the way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and that's not a failure or a bad thing. There
Speaker 1: are seasons for every partnership. It's okay for a partnership
Speaker 1: to end if it's out of its season, and that's
Speaker 1: totally okay. You have to be honest with yourself and
Speaker 1: be a good steward of your time and know what
Speaker 1: your monthly and quarterly goals are. And if something is
Speaker 1: has moved from a quarterly goal and the next quarter
Speaker 1: it's not in there, then maybe you just take some
Speaker 1: time off from that partnership. That's totally okay. So the
Speaker 1: next one second way to ruin your accountability group or
Speaker 1: partnership is to bring judgment and lack of empathy to
Speaker 1: your accountability structure. I think this is the number one
Speaker 1: rule that we would say is leave your judgment at
Speaker 1: the door and bring as much empathy to the pot
Speaker 1: luck as possible. A friend he's saying recently had an
Speaker 1: accountability experience. She had said a deadline to complete a large,
Speaker 1: complex task, something she had never accomplished before. That's great,
Speaker 1: make those big, audacious goals, and she didn't make the deadline,
Speaker 1: and the response from her group members was unsupportive and judgmental,
Speaker 1: and her inability to meet the deadline was due to
Speaker 1: lack of efforts. So there's a there's a difference between
Speaker 1: like holding somebody accountable versus shaming them for not meeting
Speaker 1: a big goal. We want to feel freedom to set
Speaker 1: these bigger goals, even if we may. I set big
Speaker 1: goals all the time, and Jill has to be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: our real goals half of that, So she's not keeping
Speaker 1: me down, she's just like keeping grounded. So there you
Speaker 1: have to are you the person who makes like outrageous goals?
Speaker 1: Are you the person that doesn't make big enough goals?
Speaker 1: You have to figure out which one of those people
Speaker 1: you are, and your group members have to know and
Speaker 1: y'll have to be empathetic with each other and know
Speaker 1: what kind of people y'all are and serve that and
Speaker 1: be that accountability because an accountability partnership is not just
Speaker 1: I call you when I'm about to make an impulse
Speaker 1: by a t J Max so that you talked me
Speaker 1: off the ledge Like, that's not it. It's sharing in vulnerability.
Speaker 1: It's vulnerable be with protection so that we are not
Speaker 1: exploited but we can grow. Yeah, there is such a
Speaker 1: line to tow here, because I think some cultures of
Speaker 1: accountability groups can find themselves in that space. And I
Speaker 1: don't think that anyone truly means malice. But when we
Speaker 1: do get into this space of well, I don't want
Speaker 1: to enable you and you asked for me to tow
Speaker 1: the line and push and prod, then yeah, sometimes it
Speaker 1: can form this culture of no failure allowed, or you
Speaker 1: can't enter into this space unless you've accomplished X, Y Z,
Speaker 1: And then what that just ultimately leads to is no
Speaker 1: one shows up anymore because gosh, if I've not reached
Speaker 1: this goal, how's that going to be received? So there
Speaker 1: definitely is a keeping a pulse on what is the
Speaker 1: culture that we're creating with this partnership or with this
Speaker 1: group where we are going to push one another, but
Speaker 1: not so far as to where there is shame and
Speaker 1: condemnation and zero acceptance of failure, and that that is
Speaker 1: attention to hold I think. But even yeah, keeping each
Speaker 1: other accountable on that of what where is there going
Speaker 1: to just be grace and freedom and permission for one
Speaker 1: another while we ask each other the hard questions well said?
Speaker 1: Do you know what else is well said? That doesn't
Speaker 1: require much tension, That I never need accountability to take. Oh,
Speaker 1: it is always that comes naturally. Yes, that's right. It's
Speaker 1: time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe
Speaker 1: baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you
Speaker 1: paid off your mortgage. Maybe your car died and you're
Speaker 1: happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. Duck bills,
Speaker 1: Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton, this is the bills of the week.
Speaker 1: Hi for gool friends. This is Emily from Aeca, New
Speaker 1: York calling us my bill of the week. Uh, this week,
Speaker 1: my age dog right out one of his descriptions, so
Speaker 1: I need to call my vet and get a new script. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: this is one of his pills that is a controlled substance,
Speaker 1: so I have to call the vet, go down to
Speaker 1: get a physical script, and then bring that to the
Speaker 1: pharmacy myself. And instead of receiving a callback from the
Speaker 1: vet saying that my script was ready, I got a
Speaker 1: text from the pharmacy saying that my script was ready.
Speaker 1: I went down there thinking there's no way this is real.
Speaker 1: Usually I have to jump through so many hoops to
Speaker 1: get this for scription. Still, but it was real. My
Speaker 1: vet brought the script to the pharmacy, not only saving
Speaker 1: me time, but they also got me a better price.
Speaker 1: So the prescription that I just picked up was about
Speaker 1: fifteen dollars cheaper than I normally pay and it's a
Speaker 1: monthly prescription, so I'm saving fifteen dollars a month. And
Speaker 1: I didn't have to go down to the BET to
Speaker 1: pick up the script and deliver it to the pharmacy.
Speaker 1: So they saved me time and money, which is not
Speaker 1: something you usually get with your bet. I freaking love
Speaker 1: my bet so much and I'm so excited. I had
Speaker 1: a call and tell you, guys, and so with the
Speaker 1: money that I'm saving that, I'm going to pay it
Speaker 1: forward to my BET and bring them in some treats
Speaker 1: next week when I have to go in for vaccines
Speaker 1: for my cat and my dug. So I just wanted
Speaker 1: to call and tell you, guys, don't I love my
Speaker 1: bet and I'm saving money and I'm gonna put that
Speaker 1: money towards something positive and that's within my value. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much, Love you guys, Spice. I love that
Speaker 1: you ended that with like putting it towards something that
Speaker 1: aligns with your values. It's like you did the homework,
Speaker 1: you knew the assignment, and you didn't so proud. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm so excited with you celebrating the savings of time
Speaker 1: and money and then how you're choosing generosity with what
Speaker 1: you're saving. I know, I love gratitude. That's so so amazing.
Speaker 1: Month that has nothing to sneeze at, that's excellent. I mean,
Speaker 1: especially if the prescription keeps your dog from sneezing. I
Speaker 1: don't know what it's for. I don't know what controlled
Speaker 1: substances keep you from sneezing, but it's nothing to sneeze
Speaker 1: at to sneeze. Thank you so much for leaving that bill.
Speaker 1: If you want to submit your bill of the week,
Speaker 1: whether you saved money or you saved time and money,
Speaker 1: please visit Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash bill and
Speaker 1: leave us your bill. And now it's time for lightening bound.
Speaker 1: So today we're gonna do something new and we're gonna
Speaker 1: get vulnerable. That's not new, something brands someone unique. We're
Speaker 1: going to share how accountability has helped us personally in
Speaker 1: our journeys to financial freedom, which we both I think
Speaker 1: we both feel like we have reached. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I won't put that on you, Jill, but I feel
Speaker 1: like you have. Yeah, look at me, look at me
Speaker 1: over here, I just got many splits installed with all
Speaker 1: my financial freedom. Oh for sure, I feel those of
Speaker 1: us who live in Florida. Those are air conditionings. Air conditionings.
Speaker 1: All my European friends know exactly what's happening over here.
Speaker 1: I bet people in the North do too. Probably there's
Speaker 1: no central Maybe it's definitely no no central a C heat,
Speaker 1: window units, baseboard heat. I mean, well, yeah, it's it's
Speaker 1: not super common to do many splits, I think, but
Speaker 1: it's becoming more and more common in the US, but
Speaker 1: Asian countries, European countries, many splits are quite common. I
Speaker 1: apologize for my ignorance. That's okay, you'll get there. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Any vulnerability, vulnerability, tell me about it, be there with me.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, financial freedom okay. So what has accountability afforded
Speaker 1: us personally? I think in so many ways. I would
Speaker 1: say I've got accountability across a variety of spheres. I
Speaker 1: think with you, Jen and with what we've built with
Speaker 1: Frugal Friends, I have so much more financial accountability than
Speaker 1: ever before through the podcast. I think it took a
Speaker 1: big uptick when we did start our Financial Rita Mentorship
Speaker 1: Club BFF previously, just even more knowing that there's gonna
Speaker 1: be people checking in with me, knowing that I'm going
Speaker 1: to be talking about finances and someone's going to be
Speaker 1: asking me the hard questions has helped me, And I
Speaker 1: know I've referenced this plenty of times, but I think
Speaker 1: it fits here just me starting a roth I rara
Speaker 1: and thinking about retirement that never would have been on
Speaker 1: my radar if it hadn't have been for what I
Speaker 1: would consider to be like a partnership, not just a
Speaker 1: business partnership, but I think accountability partnership with you financially,
Speaker 1: that that's massive and I'm going to experience the long
Speaker 1: term effects of that in what did we set it
Speaker 1: for twenty fifty three, I'll be so grateful for this
Speaker 1: accountability and what it's afforded me. And then I think
Speaker 1: accountability within the mental health space that is my day
Speaker 1: job and my my partnerships and groups that happened there,
Speaker 1: and then the accountability that I experience within my marriage,
Speaker 1: just so many different places. What I will say ultimately
Speaker 1: is it keeps me in check knowing that people know
Speaker 1: some of the decisions that I'm making, whether or not
Speaker 1: I'm making beneficial, healthy decisions or non beneficial decisions. And
Speaker 1: sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it, but ultimately
Speaker 1: it is leading to goodness. Yes, I love that. I'm
Speaker 1: I want you to remember me. Even if in thirty years,
Speaker 1: like we don't speak to each other. Don't say that
Speaker 1: doesn't happen. But even still, if that happens for some reason,
Speaker 1: I still want you to look back at our relationship
Speaker 1: and say I'm thankful for that. Yeah, yeah, whatever transpires
Speaker 1: between us, Jen, you are the reason that I have
Speaker 1: a retirement investment account. So that's one of the greatest
Speaker 1: achievements of my life. I love that. That is a
Speaker 1: top three for sure. So I think for me, I
Speaker 1: will echo that this show has been a great form
Speaker 1: of accountability. I think all the way back to starting
Speaker 1: my blog and kind of joining the personal finance community,
Speaker 1: I think I've seen it go too far in which,
Speaker 1: like people, some people are okay sharing everything they spend
Speaker 1: on the internet on Instagram and everything they make, which
Speaker 1: may or not may not be healthy. And I'm not
Speaker 1: necessarily one of those people. But I do love sharing
Speaker 1: with you guys the times that I do well and
Speaker 1: the times that I don't do well, so that we
Speaker 1: can share in that up and down of the journey
Speaker 1: and know that you the people you've follow on Instagram
Speaker 1: and the podcasters you listen to are not perfect, and
Speaker 1: I want to be the first one to tell you that.
Speaker 1: I want you to learn that from me. We've gotten,
Speaker 1: We've gotten inside look at some of these folks and
Speaker 1: ourselves to know that I sometimes feel like the worst.
Speaker 1: I feel like I might be like the worst one
Speaker 1: out there, but I I it's definitely given me accountability
Speaker 1: to to be better for sure. Um, I think with
Speaker 1: like my accountability partnership, I think Travis and I have
Speaker 1: such a strong financial partnership, like while we were paying
Speaker 1: off debt, having a live in accountability partner is top tier,
Speaker 1: highly recommend highly h and everything else would come would
Speaker 1: be second best to that empathy for those who don't
Speaker 1: have that currently, and yes, and they're I do believe
Speaker 1: it is hard. I mean not just financially like income wise,
Speaker 1: but it is harder to pay off debt when you
Speaker 1: are single or don't have somebody who's on board who
Speaker 1: you're sharing like income with. It is significantly harder. And
Speaker 1: don't let anybody tell you that it's not. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think so. I wouldn't have been motivated to pay off
Speaker 1: my debt or even started to pay off my debt
Speaker 1: without him. His encouragement and support, and so I think
Speaker 1: that's been the most significant one in my life, which
Speaker 1: I think speaks to the research that we talked about,
Speaker 1: right those who are your or in your immediate circle,
Speaker 1: but then even beyond that, So of course it's going
Speaker 1: to be difficult if you don't have somebody in your
Speaker 1: immediate circle who has, you know, a similar goal, much
Speaker 1: less all the others around you. And so that I
Speaker 1: wonder I'm going on a tangent here, but you know,
Speaker 1: if you don't have a partner who's on board, then
Speaker 1: it becomes even more important to surround yourself with people
Speaker 1: who are on board with you, because that that not
Speaker 1: only will help influence you and motivate you, but that
Speaker 1: could mean back door influence your partner right to go,
Speaker 1: If that's the understanding that that research is providing, that
Speaker 1: you're going to influence them by who you're surrounded by.
Speaker 1: M all right, well that's a whole other podcast episode,
Speaker 1: but absolutely that one day. But I also I want
Speaker 1: to say, just because it's harder if you're single, you
Speaker 1: don't have that live in accountability partner, or if your
Speaker 1: partners like anti budget, it doesn't mean it cannot be
Speaker 1: done I want you to remember that I don't know
Speaker 1: that it is harder, but you can still do it.
Speaker 1: Like the length of time that it takes you to
Speaker 1: do it does not matter. In the long run, that
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. So we take a little longer, but stick
Speaker 1: with it. Anyways, Thank you so much for listening, and
Speaker 1: thank you for being a part of our community, being
Speaker 1: a part of the reason why we have gained financial freedom.
Speaker 1: It is definitely thinks in part to you, for sure.
Speaker 1: So we're so thankful for you and your friendship is
Speaker 1: not just for a season. It's long term, baby, It's
Speaker 1: long term, yes, um, And so thank you for leaving
Speaker 1: your kind reviews on Apple podcasts like this one from
Speaker 1: co oh God that I don't want to talk about.
Speaker 1: The flashbacks that that name gives me is an invisible
Speaker 1: children joke that Jill will Jill will get but probably
Speaker 1: no one else listening. Well, uh, it says love it
Speaker 1: listening is like sitting down for lunch with your best
Speaker 1: girl friends and talking about frugal living. Love how you
Speaker 1: all discussed debt from different perspectives instead of just one method. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you, and I love that you associate us with lunchtime.
Speaker 1: That's absolutely my favorite lunch, just associating us with food
Speaker 1: in general. We also want to thank our friends who
Speaker 1: share these episodes on social media. So when you share
Speaker 1: the latest episode on Instagram, we're adding you to our
Speaker 1: monthly drawing. For every five tags and reviews we get
Speaker 1: each month, we give away fifty dollars for you to
Speaker 1: spend in the Frugal Friends shop. Yes, and that has
Speaker 1: all those workbooks with the challenges. So if you have
Speaker 1: a friend that you want to do a challenge with,
Speaker 1: definitely get on up in there for the challenge workbooks
Speaker 1: that you can have something to do together. Keep leaving
Speaker 1: us reviews wherever you listen to podcasts, send the screenshot
Speaker 1: to Frugal Friends Podcasts at gmail dot com. Uh, and
Speaker 1: don't forget to tag us on social We do see
Speaker 1: it in our d m s. See you next week.
Speaker 1: Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirian. Yeah, I'm so
Speaker 1: excited about financial freedom and mentorship related to accountability. M hmm,
Speaker 1: I I love this is something we have created. The
Speaker 1: thing I wish was available when I was paying off debt,
Speaker 1: and it took us years to figure out what that
Speaker 1: would be like, what would be worth paying for honestly, like,
Speaker 1: when finances are so tight and you don't have a
Speaker 1: lot to spare, what's going to be something that's going
Speaker 1: to amplify the limited resources you have to work with?
Speaker 1: And and this is it. It was fun. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that our episodes are not commercials and
Speaker 1: that's intentional, but it was fun for me to look
Speaker 1: at all of the tips that were listed out in
Speaker 1: that second article. In my life's like, oh, this is
Speaker 1: what financial freedom mentorship provides. Reciprocity groups, being able to
Speaker 1: pick who your best fit is, challenges, fun, accountability, prioritizing
Speaker 1: it just like had all of the things yeah, like
Speaker 1: I mean the things yeah, we've been doing since July,
Speaker 1: but like we're all intentionally designed. So it's like that.
Speaker 1: It's like you could just do it on your own
Speaker 1: and just like get a workbook. That's kind of the
Speaker 1: cheapest option. And that's great. If you have somebody like that,
Speaker 1: you know already that you could do that with cool
Speaker 1: do that. If you don't, then you've got financial freedom
Speaker 1: mentorship where you also not only have the accountability, but
Speaker 1: you get the twice monthly Q and as with us
Speaker 1: and like our guest experts that we bring in and
Speaker 1: then if you need more than that, you could hire
Speaker 1: a financial coach, which is not us. We don't do
Speaker 1: financial coaching, but that's kind of more the one on
Speaker 1: one if you like really need some you know, intense
Speaker 1: stuff for a season. But I think that is the
Speaker 1: thing like a coach should be for. I mean, I
Speaker 1: would hope less than a year, even less than six
Speaker 1: months should get you over a hump. If that's what
Speaker 1: you need for coaching. It's usually about three months and
Speaker 1: most most people that I know charge at least six
Speaker 1: hundred dollars for three months of coaching. Yeah, but the
Speaker 1: more long term and I love what we've established in
Speaker 1: our mentorship program with the goal of seeing all of
Speaker 1: our members up until their net six figures worth. Network
Speaker 1: of six figures, I love, love, love that goal and
Speaker 1: you know, maybe beyond but I think anybody who's in
Speaker 1: that debt payoff just wrapping up debt payoff into the
Speaker 1: investment stages kind of considering next steps. That is our listenership.
Speaker 1: And I love that if if you engage in this
Speaker 1: mentorship program, that's our goal to see you get to
Speaker 1: that point. Yeah, I mean I felt like I had
Speaker 1: whiplash when we finished paying off debt and I didn't
Speaker 1: know what to go. Where did you? I had no
Speaker 1: one to turn to. There was nothing for me anymore
Speaker 1: because there was all this support and all this stuff
Speaker 1: on the internet about what to do, you know, to
Speaker 1: pay off debt, to save money, earn more and stuff.
Speaker 1: But so I needed like motivation and accountability on the journey.
Speaker 1: Like I didn't need to know what to do. I
Speaker 1: just needed like support while I was doing it. And
Speaker 1: I actually needed even more support when I was done
Speaker 1: and had to transition. I had to figure out for myself, Okay,
Speaker 1: what are my next steps? Do I want to listen
Speaker 1: to what this person is telling me or is there
Speaker 1: something else? Like And that's where I found the personal
Speaker 1: finance podcast world was around that time, and it was
Speaker 1: so helpful. But to have had a trusted expert like
Speaker 1: to ask questions to whenever, like, oh my gosh, I
Speaker 1: could have saved myself a lot of time and heartache.
Speaker 1: Look at us, we're so jazzed about this topic. We're
Speaker 1: like creating an additional episode. Probably should probably we're just
Speaker 1: we're just so excited. But I mean, yeah, second doors closed,
Speaker 1: Happy New Year. I love you guys,