Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Overcome for podcast. I Am your House,
Speaker 1: Jennaka Lopez, thank you guys so much for being here today.
Speaker 1: I have a pretty cool guest that everybody has been requesting.
Speaker 1: They've been dming me, they have been tagging me, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, let's do this. We have Miriam Lopez.
Speaker 1: You have the same last name as me. It's kind
Speaker 1: of cool that.
Speaker 2: How are you. I'm good, I'm good. Super hot, super hot,
Speaker 2: super hot. It's way too hot here.
Speaker 1: You're nervous and very nervous, super nervous. My okay, yes,
Speaker 1: So a bunch of people were tagging me and I
Speaker 1: was like, you know what, let's do it. You know,
Speaker 1: I thought you were in a late I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, let's fly you out, let's get you here. Obviously,
Speaker 1: I've joined your lives on TikTok. You have almost five
Speaker 1: hundred k on TikTok. Right. Yeah, we're getting there. You're
Speaker 1: you're growing, You're doing your thing. You have a passion
Speaker 1: for music and along with other things that I would
Speaker 1: love to get to know you and talk about with
Speaker 1: you and see what you're all about. Because when you
Speaker 1: have an amazing voice, I would love to hear you sing,
Speaker 1: but due to you know, copyright purposes and all that,
Speaker 1: they're just you know, if you guys want to see
Speaker 1: you're saying, go, what's what's the TikTok?
Speaker 2: Miriam Miriam underscore.
Speaker 1: Yes, Okay, if you guys want maybe later on maybe
Speaker 1: if you know, we'll figure we'll see something, we'll see
Speaker 1: we'll like make a clip. No, but I'm really excited
Speaker 1: to get to know you, to get to know more
Speaker 1: about you, how you grew up, tell me, tell me
Speaker 1: all the good things about you, good and bad things.
Speaker 1: I want to know.
Speaker 2: What can I start with? Well, I started TikTok literally,
Speaker 2: I want to say a year like the same year
Speaker 2: that I got fired from my job, and I've always sorry. Uh,
Speaker 2: I like, you know how with not me, I didn't
Speaker 2: do anything, but you know how, you're not supposed to
Speaker 2: like stop shoplifters. Okay, okay, Yeah, So apparently from my
Speaker 2: understanding from their camera angle, it looked like I was
Speaker 2: stopping this shoplifter. I wasn't doing anything. I mean, I
Speaker 2: know that you can't really stop people, but yeah, employees
Speaker 2: get fired if they even try to stop someone.
Speaker 1: From you didn't know that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they get fired. If they get they try stopping,
Speaker 2: like someone from stealing at all sense. It makes no sense.
Speaker 2: I personally think HR had it out for me, but
Speaker 2: it is what it is. It was a blessing in
Speaker 2: disguise because I, you know, I have two friends that
Speaker 2: were are pretty big on TikTok. They cut hair and
Speaker 2: they were hearing me sing and they're like, how come
Speaker 2: you've never posted a singing video on TikTok, And I
Speaker 2: was like, I have, and they flop and so they're like, no,
Speaker 2: you gotta keep going, like be consistent, Like the first
Speaker 2: video is not gonna do good, the second video is
Speaker 2: not gonna do great, and I did. I actually posted
Speaker 2: an Anna Gladell cover and that's the one that kind
Speaker 2: of took off. And after that it was you know,
Speaker 2: Sa singing, Selena sing Jenny, And so that's how I
Speaker 2: started to build, like my platform was just by doing
Speaker 2: song covers. And now I'm kind of switching it up,
Speaker 2: just showing a little bit more of my personality, showing
Speaker 2: a little bit more of me. And I recently also
Speaker 2: just lost my mom too, and so I'm kind of
Speaker 2: talking a lot about grief because it's it's a part
Speaker 2: of my life that I'm currently going through as well.
Speaker 2: But yeah, that's how I started. I've always wanted to
Speaker 2: do videos, and so I saw it as like a
Speaker 2: blessing in disguis because I didn't want to. I didn't
Speaker 2: want to, like put myself in a corporate job again.
Speaker 2: Prior to that, I had worked at a coffee shop
Speaker 2: for seven years. Yeah, they disposed of me so easily,
Speaker 2: so quickly. And then I went to retail, same thing,
Speaker 2: and I just kind of was tired of giving my
Speaker 2: all to these places when I could do more than that.
Speaker 2: And so here I'm on TikTok and it's got me
Speaker 2: really cool opportunities, this one right now. Like I'm trying
Speaker 2: to play it cool, but I'm actually really excited. I
Speaker 2: think that's why I was sweating.
Speaker 1: No, I appreciate it, and I agree, like sometimes corporate
Speaker 1: is not meant for a lot of people, you know,
Speaker 1: and you have a lot of potential outside, you have passion,
Speaker 1: you have ideas, you have talent, like many other people
Speaker 1: in the world. It takes a lot of balls I gots,
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, pardon my you know, I don't care,
Speaker 1: but whatever. Anyways, it takes a lot to leave that
Speaker 1: and to be dependent and figure out your life after
Speaker 1: you know you're taking a risk. Has it been scary?
Speaker 2: Though it has been. It has been because, believe it
Speaker 2: or not, it sounds really funny, but I took me
Speaker 2: getting fired really hard because I have given my all
Speaker 2: to jobs. I am a people person. I love making
Speaker 2: connections with regulars. Some regular customers from the coffee shop
Speaker 2: I'm still friends with, you know. I I've seen some
Speaker 2: of their kids grow up and stuff, and I don't
Speaker 2: I don't know. It felt very harsh to be let go,
Speaker 2: like I was. Yeah, And I was like, Okay, I
Speaker 2: need to take some time off and figure out what
Speaker 2: I want to do, Like what do I want to do?
Speaker 2: I've I can obviously give my all to these companies.
Speaker 2: Why can't I do that for myself? And so I
Speaker 2: started posting videos and yeah, and I got in cool opportunities.
Speaker 2: I performed in San Antonio Fiesta, which is a huge
Speaker 2: festival in San Antonio, and I had an amazing time.
Speaker 2: It was incredible, biggest crowd I've ever sang in front of.
Speaker 2: And just any opportunities like that, I tend to take
Speaker 2: them just because I don't feel like they're gonna come again.
Speaker 2: And that's I mean, that's honestly why I'm here today too,
Speaker 2: because I've been wanting an opportunity like this and if
Speaker 2: I don't take them, then you know, I don't feel
Speaker 2: like they're gonna come again.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm so happy to give you the platform and
Speaker 1: to be able to I don't know, for me more importantly,
Speaker 1: it's like to have a conversation and get to know
Speaker 1: you and to know the person behind the voice, because
Speaker 1: I think people take that for granted and they don't
Speaker 1: understand it. And you really, betting on yourself has gotten
Speaker 1: you here. And I'm not saying I'm like the biggest
Speaker 1: like podcast or whatever, because girl, you're gonna go farther
Speaker 1: than I.
Speaker 2: Actually no, Like, it's so insane because I feel like
Speaker 2: I've been so connected to your family in some sort
Speaker 2: of way. Jackie, your sister is incredible. She's the first
Speaker 2: person to ever go live with me. I gave an
Speaker 2: idea to Cheeky's I never in my life would have
Speaker 2: thought that she was going to see my video and
Speaker 2: she saw.
Speaker 1: It's the one the how she should start Yes concert, Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: that one.
Speaker 2: And that's when you came on my live and I
Speaker 2: was like, no, this is insane. There's no way. Your
Speaker 2: brother Johnny is super sweet, uh and super shout out
Speaker 2: to him, Tamien. When everything was happening with my mom, Tamian,
Speaker 2: he reached out to me and I just think you
Speaker 2: guys are so sweet, and I just I have nothing
Speaker 2: but good things to say about you guys, just because
Speaker 2: you guys are always so sweet to me.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's okay, thank you. All right, you guys, we're
Speaker 1: gonna go on a quick break and we'll be right
Speaker 1: back with Miriam. Welcome back, you guys. All that you
Speaker 1: are married. Yes, So tell me about obviously you're coming
Speaker 1: out and the journey. Obviously being in a Hispanic household,
Speaker 1: I feel like I don't know. I don't know that,
Speaker 1: and everybody's different and it's very relatable to a lot
Speaker 1: of people. So what was the journey like for you?
Speaker 2: Oh? It was really hard. It was super hard. My
Speaker 2: mom was Jehovah's witness and so and so it was
Speaker 2: really hard going through high school for one and trying
Speaker 2: to understand who I was because I just couldn't. I
Speaker 2: had I won't lie. I think this is the first
Speaker 2: time saying it. I had boyfriends, but wasn't comfortable, and
Speaker 2: I started liking this girl in math class and more
Speaker 2: than a friend, and eventually, you know, I started to
Speaker 2: not care. And I think that was where I messed
Speaker 2: up personally, just because I was just thinking about myself.
Speaker 2: And I feel like you should think about yourself. But unfortunately,
Speaker 2: if you don't have a plan, you don't know how
Speaker 2: your family can reacture. And unfortunately my mom took it
Speaker 2: really rough. It was really hard for her because I felt,
Speaker 2: I think, in any household, your parents expect so much
Speaker 2: from you. They have this life planned out for you
Speaker 2: that you don't even know if you want that. You
Speaker 2: don't even know if like that's what you want to
Speaker 2: do in your future or that's what you're yeah, And
Speaker 2: I couldn't and I just couldn't do that to myself.
Speaker 2: I wanted to be myself. And I did write all
Speaker 2: my family letters because I couldn't. I couldn't see them
Speaker 2: in the face, not because I didn't want to, like,
Speaker 2: I just didn't want to feel like I disappointed them,
Speaker 2: because it's not something to be disappointed about you just
Speaker 2: you know, like I mean, you you like that person.
Speaker 2: I don't like them for you, but you know that
Speaker 2: makes you happy. It is what it is, and it
Speaker 2: was really hard for some of my siblings. Luckily, I
Speaker 2: had my brother at the time, and he was just like, hey,
Speaker 2: it's not going to be easy, so just come and
Speaker 2: move in with me, and my brother took me in
Speaker 2: and I just kind of I think, I want to
Speaker 2: say it was junior year and going into senior year
Speaker 2: or write at senior year is when I came out,
Speaker 2: and so I wasn't living with my mom by then,
Speaker 2: and it was really hard because I loved my mom
Speaker 2: and it was really, oh my god, it was really
Speaker 2: hard feeling like you were letting her down, because it's
Speaker 2: so hard to make people understand that, like if this
Speaker 2: is really what we wanted, like we wanted to be
Speaker 2: left out, or we wanted to feel like we were
Speaker 2: disappointing people, this would not be the first choice that
Speaker 2: we would do.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't. I want to be like, oh, I'm I'm
Speaker 2: gonna be straight just to make everyone else happy. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And I couldn't. I couldn't. So it's been a long journey,
Speaker 2: and it was still a long journey. Now it's it's
Speaker 2: good because I actually have a niece who's also part
Speaker 2: of the community. And even she said it myself that
Speaker 2: she's she's made this so much, that I've made this
Speaker 2: so much easier for her that, you know, because me,
Speaker 2: she's able to kind of be herself more, bring her
Speaker 2: girlfriends over and not have to go through what I
Speaker 2: had to go through. It wasn't super super hard, but
Speaker 2: it was still something very difficult. It definitely strained the
Speaker 2: relationship with my mom and I a lot, and actually
Speaker 2: even prior because you had asked about my mom prior
Speaker 2: to my mom passing, like she didn't go to my wedding,
Speaker 2: and I took it so hard. And that's where I
Speaker 2: had to create boundaries where it kind of hurt me
Speaker 2: to have her in my life because I always kept
Speaker 2: feeling like I was letting her down. But thankfully we
Speaker 2: were able to kind of mend things before you know,
Speaker 2: she passed over.
Speaker 1: That I hear you when you say that you don't
Speaker 1: want to be a disappointment of people, because I'm a
Speaker 1: people pleaser and I hated disappointing people as well. Like
Speaker 1: for example, when it came with me in my relationship
Speaker 1: with my mom, I never wanted to do any of
Speaker 1: the things my sisters did like they were bad, you know,
Speaker 1: my siblings, like they were bad. So I made it
Speaker 1: my point and my goal in life to make sure
Speaker 1: I never got in trouble, I never got hit. I
Speaker 1: didn't want to get yelled at. If Mom said this,
Speaker 1: I did this, And that flowed into my relationships even
Speaker 1: to this day. And it's toxic. And I'm not blaming
Speaker 1: it on her, I'm not. You know, it's a whole
Speaker 1: it's a lot of mental thing and it's a lot
Speaker 1: of the pressure. Like your mom wanted a certain way
Speaker 1: for you, right, but what about it doesn't It just
Speaker 1: doesn't make sense if Miriam doesn't want it, you know.
Speaker 1: And that's okay. And I think there comes a point
Speaker 1: where you got to start letting it go. Like the
Speaker 1: expectations of people in general, Like I'm not necessarily saying
Speaker 1: your mom or saying like, you know, it could be
Speaker 1: any person jobs. You know, you expected them to take
Speaker 1: care of you or like you were disposed or whatever,
Speaker 1: but realistically corporate doesn't give a fuck. Yeah, yeah, you
Speaker 1: know your mom wants this life for you, but what
Speaker 1: are you gonna do for yourself?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. So, and that's the point
Speaker 1: where you have to like envision your life, you have
Speaker 1: to be confident in what you're doing. You have to
Speaker 1: be sure, like, you know what, like I'm gonna stand
Speaker 1: by this, I'm gonna get married to this girl. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do this, and I'm going to live my life happy,
Speaker 1: you know. And it obviously, and I think it's it's
Speaker 1: harder because.
Speaker 2: It's your mom.
Speaker 1: Oh my, what about your dad.
Speaker 2: I actually don't have a relationship with him. He was
Speaker 2: consistently like in and out of my life, and there
Speaker 2: just came a point to where, at least from my
Speaker 2: own heart, because I'm super freaking sensitive, I take things
Speaker 2: very personally and I take them to heart, and so
Speaker 2: I just kind of was so tired of being disappointed
Speaker 2: by him and just kind of expecting him to want
Speaker 2: to fully be there for me. And I couldn't deal
Speaker 2: with that anymore. I felt like the only time he
Speaker 2: he wanted to come around was, oh, I have a
Speaker 2: new girlfriend, Orsad, and I really want you there. And
Speaker 2: it was always like promises that he could never keep,
Speaker 2: and I just couldn't do that anymore. I just was like,
Speaker 2: you know what, being so okay a Stecki like I
Speaker 2: wanted to have a relationship with you like I wanted.
Speaker 2: It sounds so silly, but all I even wanted was
Speaker 2: from him to like, let's go get an ice cream together,
Speaker 2: Like literally the smallest thing could have changed everything, could
Speaker 2: have changed everything, Like it was siempre with you know,
Speaker 2: he would come with his new girlfriend and all their
Speaker 2: freaking kids, and I couldn't call him dad. I couldn't.
Speaker 2: It was it was crazy for me. Yeah, and my
Speaker 2: mom would see my mom, she was supportive on like
Speaker 2: me wanting to have a relationship with him. She never
Speaker 2: talked bad about him, right, And there was a point
Speaker 2: too where she was like, she doesn't want to go
Speaker 2: with you, she doesn't want to go, and I'm not
Speaker 2: going to force her to go. And I appreciated that
Speaker 2: from my mom, like just kind of sticking up for me,
Speaker 2: where if I wasn't comfortable, if I didn't feel like
Speaker 2: happy going, there was just no point in me going.
Speaker 1: Your own mental health. How many siblings do you have?
Speaker 2: I have three, oh my god, three brothers, three sisters
Speaker 2: and two brothers, and they're all older than me. I'm
Speaker 2: the baby. I am the baby.
Speaker 1: I'm the le maybe, and that's probably why your mom
Speaker 1: was hard around you.
Speaker 2: Maybe yeah, and I also came eight years later.
Speaker 1: Also, you have a huge age gap. What's your relationship
Speaker 1: like with them?
Speaker 2: We're all good. My oldest sister, she lives out of state.
Speaker 2: She's always been the one that's like furthest apart from
Speaker 2: all of us. My older brother is just very like strong,
Speaker 2: like you, you know, super private. My other sister lives
Speaker 2: in Seattle and she's she's good. I'm really close to
Speaker 2: one of my sisters and my younger brother.
Speaker 1: So how was that after coming out because you said
Speaker 1: that they it was they stopped talking to and stuff.
Speaker 2: They just took it really hard, like they were just
Speaker 2: like I need some time to process, let me think
Speaker 2: about it. And I was just more like I'm not
Speaker 2: doing anything bad, literally not doing anything bad, you.
Speaker 1: Know, Or are you asking for their approval? Yeah?
Speaker 2: No, exactly right. It was just like I think, that's
Speaker 2: so crazy to think about that. You are so scared
Speaker 2: to just be like I like girls, Yeah, and it'd
Speaker 2: be like a huge problem, like, oh, I can't believe it,
Speaker 2: And like I had all these dreams for you, and
Speaker 2: like you had those dreams for me, I had different
Speaker 2: ones because you never asked me about mine at all.
Speaker 2: So it was a hard journey. But they love my wife.
Speaker 2: My wife is in high school. No, no, thank goodness,
Speaker 2: that was not it.
Speaker 1: No, how did you meet wife.
Speaker 2: At the coffee shop? Yeah? She would. She would literally
Speaker 2: come in early mornings and I would just be like,
Speaker 2: where are you going so early? Like why are you
Speaker 2: up so early? And she was going on hikes. It
Speaker 2: took us forever to actually go on a hike together.
Speaker 2: But once we got a chance to go on a hike,
Speaker 2: I woke up late, so she was like, Hey, we're done,
Speaker 2: are you coming? Hey? Do you want to go? And
Speaker 2: it was funny because she's like, honestly, I don't know
Speaker 2: what it was because I never wait around for people,
Speaker 2: like I'm trying to get to the hike before the
Speaker 2: sun rises because once you start hiking back down it
Speaker 2: gets really hot.
Speaker 1: Is that her?
Speaker 2: That's her? She doesn't She did not wait on people.
Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, And it was funny because
Speaker 2: she takes me on this hike. We couldn't find it.
Speaker 2: We couldn't find it, and I was like, you photoshop
Speaker 2: yourself in these pictures, don't you? Like you don't even
Speaker 2: do the hikes. So we met up for the second
Speaker 2: hike never talk smack again. Because she took me to
Speaker 2: this hike that's called Spirit Falls. It was all inclined
Speaker 2: on the way back. It was embarrassing. I was like
Speaker 2: huffing and puffing, and I was like, that was so easy.
Speaker 2: That was easy. Oh my gosh, it was insane. But yeah,
Speaker 2: after that, like you know, we started hanging out more
Speaker 2: and eventually I was just like, this is what I
Speaker 2: want to marry. And we got married and we were
Speaker 2: going in November. It's going to be two years.
Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, congratulate, thank you, thank you. So Okay, how
Speaker 1: was your relationship with your mom during that time, because
Speaker 1: then you said that she didn't go to the wedding
Speaker 1: and all that stuff. Was that were you able to
Speaker 1: bring her around?
Speaker 2: Dude?
Speaker 1: She was You weren't able to kiss her?
Speaker 2: Or I don't. I'm actually not very affectionate with my
Speaker 2: wife around people in general. Yeah, will hold hands. We're
Speaker 2: very I think it's more like in private. But I
Speaker 2: feel like no one's ever made us feel like we
Speaker 2: had to be private. I'm just very private, you know.
Speaker 2: But with my mom, my mom was just she was
Speaker 2: very difficult. She liked my wife, but I don't I
Speaker 2: didn't feel like she wanted to get to know her more,
Speaker 2: just because I feel like maybe she's afraid to like her,
Speaker 2: you know, and like show like approval and I know,
Speaker 2: oh my god, I'm gonna cry again. When my mom passed,
Speaker 2: she was able to talk to my wife and be like,
Speaker 2: I know that she's gonna be okay because you're gonna
Speaker 2: take care of her. But we were taking towards the end,
Speaker 2: we were taking my mom to her appointments because when
Speaker 2: I call my mom, hey, Mom, moa casar, I am mom, like,
Speaker 2: and I really want you there. Because she was diagnosed
Speaker 2: with cancer and it was a rare type of cancer
Speaker 2: that whether she did CHEMEO, whether she didn't, it was
Speaker 2: not gonna be cured. Uh. And it was a maximum
Speaker 2: of like three to five years, and we were fortunate
Speaker 2: enough to have her for three and it hurt me.
Speaker 2: And some of the things that we said to each
Speaker 2: other on that phone call, it sucks, you know, Like
Speaker 2: she said certain things to me, I said certain things
Speaker 2: to her. But one thing that I kept telling her
Speaker 2: was like, Mom, you don't you don't have to walk
Speaker 2: me down the aisle. You don't have to make a
Speaker 2: big old scene I'm her mom, and I'm here like
Speaker 2: I just want you to like sit there like you don't.
Speaker 2: You don't have to do anything, you don't have to
Speaker 2: say to anyone. I just want you present.
Speaker 1: Was it like an like I don't Was it embarrassing
Speaker 1: to her?
Speaker 2: Or I just think that maybe I could be saying
Speaker 2: it wrong. I hope don't come for me for this,
Speaker 2: but Jehovah Hip Witness like they don't. They can't show
Speaker 2: any sort of approval towards something that's considered like a sin.
Speaker 2: And so she's like, you already know how I feel
Speaker 2: about that. You know that it's against yeah, you know.
Speaker 2: And I was like okay, Mom. I was like, but
Speaker 2: can And it sucked because I hated to throw it
Speaker 2: in her face where I was like, Mom, you have cancer,
Speaker 2: can you please do this for me? Like we have
Speaker 2: a videographer and it and it sucks when I think
Speaker 2: of our wedding and video because god In has sweet
Speaker 2: moments with her mom and I won't have those. And
Speaker 2: I took it very hard. And I think the last
Speaker 2: thing I told my mom was on that phone call.
Speaker 2: And it's gonna sound so harsh, but I told her
Speaker 2: if Sinlasco because it was hurtful for me, like this
Speaker 2: is the one thing I wanted from her, and it sucked.
Speaker 2: And we didn't talk for like a year, over a year,
Speaker 2: and I try my best to not feel guilty for
Speaker 2: that year that we didn't talk. But I get a
Speaker 2: phone call from my mom, my sister actually one day,
Speaker 2: and she goes, I'm trying to respect your boundaries, but
Speaker 2: mom is not doing good. So we go and see
Speaker 2: my mom and I had never like when I saw her,
Speaker 2: just it wasn't my mom. Like she looked so sad,
Speaker 2: she looked so sick, She looked like like she was tired.
Speaker 2: She was she was super tired, and she just I
Speaker 2: had never seen her like that. My mom was so strong.
Speaker 2: And I post about this when I go and visit
Speaker 2: her resting place, that she was such a diva, like
Speaker 2: such a diva. Nomas was Pastilla's but her nails were
Speaker 2: always done, her hair was always dyed, like she was
Speaker 2: always on top of what she shouldn't have been on
Speaker 2: top of, you know. And so it broke my heart
Speaker 2: to see her like that. And so we got to
Speaker 2: spend some time with her, and at that point, I
Speaker 2: think my mom didn't care either, and I didn't care either.
Speaker 2: I didn't if my mom would have passed and she
Speaker 2: would have never said I'm sorry, I still would have
Speaker 2: been okay, which we did eventually. I how we said it.
Speaker 2: We laughed about it, and I just said that we
Speaker 2: were cabs onas we were like we we just felt
Speaker 2: like she felt like she was right. I felt like
Speaker 2: I was right, and I felt that it didn't matter
Speaker 2: seeing her in the place that she was at and
Speaker 2: just hearing her say like, I know that you're gonna
Speaker 2: take care of my daughter, like it meant a lot.
Speaker 2: I know that she I felt like that was her proof, Like.
Speaker 1: That's all you needed, that's literally all you asking.
Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty much. It's like that I had to be
Speaker 2: under those circumstances, you know. But we were able to
Speaker 2: build a relationship with her towards the end, and you know,
Speaker 2: take her to her appointments. Your wife too, Yeah, same
Speaker 2: with my wife. My wife and I took her to
Speaker 2: one of the appointments that broke my heart because I
Speaker 2: felt my mom was going through so many medical changes,
Speaker 2: her body was experienced so many things, and our parents
Speaker 2: are so private they don't want to let their own
Speaker 2: kids know anything, which parents don't do that, because we
Speaker 2: felt like my mom knew and she didn't want to
Speaker 2: tell us.
Speaker 1: Like she knew she had a long time ago before.
Speaker 2: We felt that she we at least personally for me,
Speaker 2: I don't know about my brothers and sisters. I felt
Speaker 2: like my mom knew. I felt like my mom knew
Speaker 2: she had a certain amount of time and she just
Speaker 2: didn't want to tell us. Because even at the hospital,
Speaker 2: she she didn't act like she was sick. She was
Speaker 2: just like, oh, to Machina Melancho, I'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 2: go to Mexico and I'm gonna do this. And she
Speaker 2: was strong. Told the very end, she she went when
Speaker 2: she wanted to, and she went how she wanted to.
Speaker 2: So sona and stubborn. Oh my goodness. But yeah, we
Speaker 2: were able to fix so many things that I felt
Speaker 2: like we needed to. I got to learn that, you know,
Speaker 2: all this time, I gave credit to like my dad
Speaker 2: because my dad used to sing, and my grandma from
Speaker 2: my dad's side sings. But my mom told me, like
Speaker 2: she was like, p.
Speaker 1: Did you ever hear her sing?
Speaker 2: We sang, Oh my god, we sing together. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: have it. I still can't watch the video, but my
Speaker 2: sister recorded it. We were just she was talking like
Speaker 2: third person. She was talking and she was talking to
Speaker 2: my sister about me, even though I was in the room,
Speaker 2: and she was talking about like miha media and we
Speaker 2: just shared that like moment where I was like, Mom,
Speaker 2: you didn't tell me you sang like we could have
Speaker 2: sang songs together all this time, and she said, and yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean she did. Like I knew her moods by
Speaker 2: the type of music she would have, so hmm.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, oh, she's pissed off today. Yeah, she's
Speaker 1: really sad today.
Speaker 2: I will say, if La Bota was playing, it was
Speaker 2: gonna be a good day. If was playing, I was
Speaker 2: gonna be a good good day. Yeah. And random You're like, Dad, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's gonna make something she like or something.
Speaker 2: I'm excited. Yeah, yeah it was. It was a really
Speaker 2: hard thing to go through, and I feel like I'm
Speaker 2: still kind of processing process and I won't I was
Speaker 2: a little shocked when I got your message because I
Speaker 2: have not been posting as often I feel like, which
Speaker 2: is okay, Yeah, it feels so, I don't know, it
Speaker 2: just feels wrong for me posting other things that don't move. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it feels a little wrong moving on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it feels too wrong, and it feels undeserving,
Speaker 1: at least for me. I get that. And I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tell you something, as obviously someone in the same position
Speaker 1: or understands what you're going through. You have to. I
Speaker 1: know you have to because it's gonna eat you alive.
Speaker 1: But in that process, you've got to acknowledge and face
Speaker 1: the emotions. You can't put them. Do not put them away?
Speaker 1: Do not. It'll haunt you in the back of your
Speaker 1: head for the rest of your life. I don't want
Speaker 1: to say the rest of your life. That's because I'm
Speaker 1: so alive. But those thoughts don't haunt me anymore. But
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, the more you bottle
Speaker 1: bottle it up, you start getting the anxiety, you start
Speaker 1: getting frustrated with life. You're like, what am I gonna do?
Speaker 1: Like no, And then you have to you have to
Speaker 1: get your head out of what would my mom do?
Speaker 1: Or how would my mom want this? Yeah? You know
Speaker 1: what I mean?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I don't.
Speaker 1: Know do you feel guilt to this day, Like what
Speaker 1: do you feel it's guilty about? Or if there's anything.
Speaker 2: Well, I write as soon as like everything happened, I
Speaker 2: did go into grief counseling because I just felt like
Speaker 2: it was super important to me. And my wife set
Speaker 2: everything up. She's like, Okay, you just got to show
Speaker 2: up and you don't have to. She's like, if you're ready, cool,
Speaker 2: If you're not, then we can try again later. But
Speaker 2: my biggest thing was to not feel guilty for having
Speaker 2: my boundaries, like, because that was something really hard for me,
Speaker 2: Like had I not taken into personal knowing that she
Speaker 2: was never gonna change, or like if I also knew
Speaker 2: that she was so sick, why was I so so ce? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 2: And I know certain people might be like, yeah, what
Speaker 2: you did was like messed up, but it was more
Speaker 2: like for me, I had just had enough at that
Speaker 2: point where I was like, momking, at least just this
Speaker 2: one thing, Like just this one thing. I just and
Speaker 2: I know it's something hard, and I know it's probably
Speaker 2: asking for a lot, but I really want you there.
Speaker 2: And I know you like my wife. I know you
Speaker 2: like her. You just pushed yourself off so much, and unfortunately,
Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of it had to do
Speaker 2: with her religion, Like she pushed us so far away
Speaker 2: that I feel like it was super hard for her
Speaker 2: to ask for our help or ask for anything from us.
Speaker 2: And I mean I only felt really guilty for a
Speaker 2: little bit about the year not talking to her, Yeah,
Speaker 2: because I feel like I missed out on a lot. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I could have spent more time with her, But
Speaker 2: it was really hard. I was just you know, had
Speaker 2: she called me and we could have talked it out.
Speaker 2: I told her, I was like, Mom, I cried for you,
Speaker 2: like over a year. I cried for you, and I
Speaker 2: felt like I lost her and I grieved her before
Speaker 2: she passed, and then I had to grieve her again.
Speaker 2: So it was a fear of mine and it came true, unfortunately.
Speaker 2: But even she said it. She's like, yes, yes, we
Speaker 2: are almost and bought a gibs, which you know, she's likeas
Speaker 2: you had to learn it from someone, which is just me.
Speaker 2: And I want to say that I am at peace
Speaker 2: with how she left, because she left with how she
Speaker 2: wanted to. Like I mentioned she was, she was so
Speaker 2: afraid of with cancer, like with losing her hair. She
Speaker 2: was afraid of doctors telling her, you know you're gonna
Speaker 2: leave this day in particular, and even when they had
Speaker 2: told us, your mom only has two days. She lasted
Speaker 2: us two weeks because she went when she wanted to go.
Speaker 1: That's so scary.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she uh, she fought hard and even she was
Speaker 2: still stubborn. Yeah, but I that's why I think I'm
Speaker 2: at peace with it, because she she left when she
Speaker 2: wanted to go.
Speaker 1: You think it would have been different if you didn't
Speaker 1: talk to her, for sure?
Speaker 2: Right, definitely. Yeah, And that's why my sister she actually
Speaker 2: talked to my wife. I was like, this is what's
Speaker 2: going on, and I don't know how to tell her
Speaker 2: because I want to respect her boundaries. And then I
Speaker 2: called my sister. She's like, I didn't want to tell you.
Speaker 1: Of course, but.
Speaker 2: I just I had to like.
Speaker 1: No, yeah, all right, you guys, we're gonna go on
Speaker 1: a quick break and we'll be right back with Miriam.
Speaker 1: Welcome back, you guys. There reminds me a lot of
Speaker 1: my sister's story, you know, yeah, where her and my
Speaker 1: mom didn't get to talk and then my mom you
Speaker 1: said exactly the same thing. She grieved her already then,
Speaker 1: and she grieved her again when she passed away, but
Speaker 1: without saying a word, you know. And I think that's
Speaker 1: what's harder is that I love that God gave you
Speaker 1: that opportunity. Yeah, the rere deem and to be able
Speaker 1: to talk to her and hear her and provide you
Speaker 1: and heal a part of you because you didn't go
Speaker 1: in thinking that she was gonna approve or whatever. No,
Speaker 1: you were going as a daughter, like to support her
Speaker 1: and be there whatever. But that was just the extra gift, Yeah,
Speaker 1: because that was given to you.
Speaker 2: Because even then, when when my wife told me, she's like,
Speaker 2: I'm going to have to tell you, and it's not
Speaker 2: going to be easy, but I know you. She's like,
Speaker 2: I know you, and if I don't tell you, I
Speaker 2: know what it's going to do to you. I know
Speaker 2: how it's going to affect you. And so when she
Speaker 2: told me, I was like, no, I don't believe it.
Speaker 2: I don't I don't believe it. And when I went
Speaker 2: to go see her, my wife and my sister went
Speaker 2: with me, and all I could do was just sit
Speaker 2: and cry because I'm like, that is not my mom.
Speaker 2: Like she was.
Speaker 1: She was bad, pretty different.
Speaker 2: She was bad, and it it sucked. It sucked, and
Speaker 2: I felt like I didn't get to spend as much
Speaker 2: time with her because I'm the youngest. Everyone else did
Speaker 2: and yeah, yeah, she's only sixty five too, so I
Speaker 2: felt like she was still pretty pretty decently young, you know.
Speaker 1: But fuck those doctors man cancer. Yeah, I like anytime
Speaker 1: I heard and like I hear a story about cancer
Speaker 1: and just like it's I just feel like it's not
Speaker 1: Maybe that's just me, But do you have any like
Speaker 1: like what is your greeving process? Like now, do you
Speaker 1: have anger towards something like what's like your biggest concern
Speaker 1: or like what I.
Speaker 2: Felt like certain for one, I felt like certain things
Speaker 2: didn't add up to me, and something that I do
Speaker 2: talk about on Live. As soon as like this whole
Speaker 2: situation happened with my mom and I felt comfortable going
Speaker 2: back on Live. I talk a lot to like the
Speaker 2: parents and La Signoras, and because I know a lot
Speaker 2: of them watch me where I'm like, just be truthful.
Speaker 2: It's gonna suck, it's gonna hurt, and please let your
Speaker 2: kids advocate for you, because I just feel like being
Speaker 2: a minority, like you have to speak up for your parents.
Speaker 2: Certain things are not gonna make sense. Certain things aren't
Speaker 2: gonna add up, and.
Speaker 1: They're not in the right space either to certain decisions.
Speaker 2: And I felt that's how we were because even her
Speaker 2: doctor that she trusted so so much, he never once
Speaker 2: came in and checked in on her towards the end.
Speaker 2: But a lot of the people who took care of
Speaker 2: my mom, towards them, they were really sweet. There's some
Speaker 2: that you know, they saw us and they're like, I'm
Speaker 2: really sorry. She was so sweet. I'm so sorry for
Speaker 2: your loss. But I did have quite a bit of
Speaker 2: anger towards it, yeah, because I'm like, did they not
Speaker 2: do enough for her? Was she just so far beyond
Speaker 2: like getting any sort of healing to where you're just like, yeah,
Speaker 2: yes with the persona mass and you know, it is
Speaker 2: what it is. Because I felt that it just happened
Speaker 2: so quick out of nowhere. She was like super good
Speaker 2: and then boom, in six months, all of a sudden,
Speaker 2: she passed. And a month prior to her passing, she
Speaker 2: had gone to the hospital and she was there and
Speaker 2: not once had they told us like her cancer spreading.
Speaker 2: We found this, We found that.
Speaker 1: There was a lot of blurred lines. Yeah, that's why
Speaker 1: I like, I don't know, maybe that's just my trauma
Speaker 1: talking as well, but like, because my dad had passed
Speaker 1: away in the hospital and like pneumonia and he was
Speaker 1: I didn't get to talk to him, like I just
Speaker 1: I just feel like, yeah they could. I don't want
Speaker 1: to put the blame all on doctors. Yeah right, yeah,
Speaker 1: because there's only so much that they can do. But
Speaker 1: then there's I always feel like there's like a hidden agenda.
Speaker 2: Yeah you know, because again because and it's crazy you
Speaker 2: said that because that was her main thing. It was pneumonia. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it was. It just kind of took over her body
Speaker 2: and it made everything else weak. But even by then
Speaker 2: her cancer was spreading and so they were just like
Speaker 2: it sounds so harsh. How they said it to One
Speaker 2: of my sisters was just like felt kidneys for that
Speaker 2: looks like a body that's just ready to go. And
Speaker 2: I'm like, they told you, like I don't like that.
Speaker 1: I don't like that.
Speaker 2: No, And I was like, okay, cool, it seems.
Speaker 1: So insensitive, Like which is their job, like to be
Speaker 1: more sensitive, to be there, to do the most that
Speaker 1: they can to comfort you or whatever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they are there.
Speaker 1: Make it the worst experience.
Speaker 2: There is some things that I still have, like anger
Speaker 2: about I felt like when my mom finally passed, it
Speaker 2: wasn't me. For me, maybe maybe for them it was
Speaker 2: a lot longer, but for me it felt like five
Speaker 2: minutes until they came after like, so, do you guys
Speaker 2: have her funerals? Ad, I'm like, we're still crying, we're
Speaker 2: still processing or still having all this hope and then
Speaker 2: being like, so have you picked out what funeral home
Speaker 2: she's gonna go to? Like no, because I don't want
Speaker 2: to get.
Speaker 1: The chills, and it just like bothers me so much. Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, yes, because like you're never you're never prepared. No,
Speaker 1: nothing's ever gonna prepare you for that moment ever, ever, ever, ever,
Speaker 1: ever in your life. Obviously, yes, those things should be
Speaker 1: already like maybe planned whatever not. In that moment, though,
Speaker 1: I feel like there's a time and the place for
Speaker 1: everything and there's no rush, like your emotions have to
Speaker 1: go through so many process like a huge process, like
Speaker 1: first she passed away, Oh, now I gotta worry about
Speaker 1: the casket. Now I gotta worry about what's gonna happen
Speaker 1: with the house, let's say, or whatever, you.
Speaker 2: Know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And it's like, so now you're here, in this moment,
Speaker 1: sitting in a chair and it's like all coming back again,
Speaker 1: and it's like you think about one thing, it's like
Speaker 1: you're processing that one and then tomorrow you're gonna be
Speaker 1: thinking about it something else. And it's just like it
Speaker 1: shouldn't have to be that way.
Speaker 2: No, you know, And I don't know if maybe hopefully
Speaker 2: it's not an insensitive question, I'll ask, But for me,
Speaker 2: a few days before my mom passed, like I just
Speaker 2: woke up crying. I felt it in my chest, like
Speaker 2: something was just not right. And in one of the
Speaker 2: weeks that she was in the hospital, I had gone
Speaker 2: to another podcast and I was like, mam will be
Speaker 2: back in three days. I won't be long. And the
Speaker 2: doctors had told me, oh, yeah, she's getting better, her
Speaker 2: numbers are looking great, and I was like, cool, I
Speaker 2: can leave. I had a really good time with my
Speaker 2: friend Danny. I felt like I really needed those laughs.
Speaker 2: But the day that I landed, I felt heavy. The
Speaker 2: day that I woke up, I just felt like my
Speaker 2: chest was just like something was so heavy, and all
Speaker 2: I could do was cry, and I was like, I
Speaker 2: need to go see my mom. I need to go
Speaker 2: see her like now, like it was a sign. And
Speaker 2: it was that same day when they told us like,
Speaker 2: it's not looking great and we're gonna have to start
Speaker 2: picking out where she's gonna go. And I was like,
Speaker 2: where she's gonna go? Like where is she gonna come home?
Speaker 2: And they could take care of her there or they're
Speaker 2: like no, like where her where her body's gonna go.
Speaker 1: It's harder because there's a lot of brothers and sisters
Speaker 1: yeah involved, right, Yes, a lot of opinions, a lot
Speaker 1: of he did I'm assuming, tension, just a lot of emotions,
Speaker 1: and it feels like you feel helpless, and.
Speaker 2: No one talks about that really, of the emotions that
Speaker 2: everyone is going through, especially when there's more kids involved,
Speaker 2: and sucks when your family, like your parent, doesn't leave
Speaker 2: anything clear for you. It was such a hard thing
Speaker 2: to go through, where even for a little bit, I
Speaker 2: did have to distance myself from my brothers and sisters
Speaker 2: to be like, hey, none of all these things, they're
Speaker 2: not gonna being my mom back, and so I don't
Speaker 2: really care what happens. All I care about is that
Speaker 2: she's she's in her resting place and she doesn't have
Speaker 2: to worry about anything, and we're good. And like when
Speaker 2: you guys figure out what you guys want to do.
Speaker 2: Then we could talk, but I didn't really care for anything.
Speaker 2: But I even with other friends that I've talked about
Speaker 2: that I've lost a parent, it's it becomes so bad sometimes,
Speaker 2: and I wish that it wouldn't be like that, because
Speaker 2: it's already so hard losing someone and then having to
Speaker 2: worry about things that is, things that are not important.
Speaker 1: To be honest, No, and I a thousand percent agree.
Speaker 1: And I think the one couple things I can tell
Speaker 1: you is that death is always going to be a factor.
Speaker 1: It's always going to be there, and it's always it
Speaker 1: can make or break a relationship. You know, people get
Speaker 1: divorced because of it, people break up or people. Now
Speaker 1: I'm not saying you specifically, you're family. I'm saying relationships
Speaker 1: in general. Yeah, the relationship with your family, like it
Speaker 1: could really you know, it might not ever be the
Speaker 1: same or it maybe it is. But everyone has I
Speaker 1: think you have to understand every but he has to
Speaker 1: understand everyone has their own healing process. You know. Definitely
Speaker 1: mine was different with my siblings because I had already
Speaker 1: lost a dad. You know, then obviously you know, relationships
Speaker 1: with people like you see life very differently. Like it's
Speaker 1: like nothing scares you. Nothing's like nothing's going to hurt
Speaker 1: you as bad as this, And I guess that's kind
Speaker 1: of like the good thing. And I always say this,
Speaker 1: it's like, these are the moments are going to make
Speaker 1: you stronger and that are going to push you and
Speaker 1: that are going to lead you somewhere. And I know
Speaker 1: that it sounds bad because it you know, it took
Speaker 1: someone to pass away for this to happen. But I
Speaker 1: think that's the beautiful thing about God's plan and that's
Speaker 1: you know me personally, Like God's plan does have a
Speaker 1: beautiful ending and a beautiful way of showing you that
Speaker 1: life isn't over, you know what I mean, because it
Speaker 1: feels like it's over, yeah, because it feels like it's
Speaker 1: you're never gonna gain it back and that you are
Speaker 1: just just a loss soul, like like what am I
Speaker 1: gonna do? You know? And there's gonna be moments where
Speaker 1: you wish you had her to see these things, you know,
Speaker 1: and I can. I could tell you so many things,
Speaker 1: but I think more importantly is take it day by day.
Speaker 2: Definitely take the grief.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna tell you, and it's gonna sound harsh,
Speaker 1: and I say it to everybody, like I've told only
Speaker 1: this pain is never gonna end. Yeah, you know, it's
Speaker 1: gonna live with you. Grief. Grief is a life going,
Speaker 1: ongoing process. It's just a part of you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a part of who you are. And you're gonna
Speaker 1: live with it. You're gonna lead it, You're gonna carry
Speaker 1: it and move forward in your life.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I had even seen a quote before that
Speaker 2: too that people tend to struggle a lot more with
Speaker 2: grief because they try to be the person that they
Speaker 2: want to were. Yes, but you're never going to be
Speaker 2: the same after that. So yes, And so that's where
Speaker 2: I'm like, I get it. And I think definitely getting
Speaker 2: that counseling was very helpful. I definitely still think I'm
Speaker 2: gonna need more, for sure, because there's still so much
Speaker 2: more to learn, there's still so much more to heal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, A thousand agree. And I love that your wife
Speaker 1: did that for you.
Speaker 2: She's my mom was wrong for sure. I could tell
Speaker 2: you that she didn't take care of me, And.
Speaker 1: I think it's super power because I wish I did
Speaker 1: it sooner, you know, Like I barely look my mom
Speaker 1: passed away. It's gonna be twelve years ago. I barely started.
Speaker 1: I barely feel like I forgave or let go, let go,
Speaker 1: like maybe a year or two ago. And but it's
Speaker 1: it's it's different, not different, but it's different because it's different,
Speaker 1: but it's not. And I think because I get the
Speaker 1: constant reminder like every day and stuff like people posting
Speaker 1: and all that, and then there's birthdays. It's just different.
Speaker 1: But anyways, it is, it's super important, like it is
Speaker 1: a process that keeps going. And I'm grateful. I'm grateful
Speaker 1: for it. I'm grateful because I've learned to be very strong,
Speaker 1: like I like, I feel like if these things that
Speaker 1: it happened to me, I would be very very weak,
Speaker 1: weak minded. And wherever you're going or wherever you're meant
Speaker 1: to be in your life, this is preparing you for it.
Speaker 1: And you know, musically or whatever you want to do,
Speaker 1: and that era like you're always going to keep her
Speaker 1: in the back of your head. And remember, I don't know,
Speaker 1: take it as another opportunity singing for your mom or
Speaker 1: with your mom, you know what I mean. But on
Speaker 1: a lighter note, on a lighter note, music wise, what
Speaker 1: is your plan what do you want to do? What's
Speaker 1: the goal or what what's the I know it's like,
Speaker 1: you know you're getting into it, like what are you feeling?
Speaker 2: I don't know. That's fine, I don't know. I personally
Speaker 2: it's because Okay, I come from Oregon, and I know
Speaker 2: that there's quite a bit of boudoopos out in Oregon
Speaker 2: or Vandas. But I feel this is just from my
Speaker 2: personal experience, because people come at me for this all
Speaker 2: the time. I feel like it's still so hard for
Speaker 2: me to be accepted in it. You know, I don't
Speaker 2: dress really I don't. I don't dress typical. I have
Speaker 2: like under these long sleeves, I have like tattoos, and
Speaker 2: I have certain piercings. And it's just you would you
Speaker 2: wouldn't look at me be like, she can't sing Manda,
Speaker 2: she can't sing Madiacci.
Speaker 1: And then she's like, let me show you that I can't.
Speaker 2: And so I'm still trying to figure out how I
Speaker 2: can get myself in to the music. You know, I
Speaker 2: love doing covers. I've sang you know, for events, I've
Speaker 2: sang for some like CUTTI bills like just opening, and
Speaker 2: I would love to record eventually like I think that's
Speaker 2: one of my biggest dreams, is to finally record some music,
Speaker 2: whether it be like a cover album or or something
Speaker 2: in general that I can give to like my supporters
Speaker 2: who love you know, there's times where I'm on live
Speaker 2: for two hours just singing to them and trying to
Speaker 2: come could get in and I don't know, I I
Speaker 2: that's always been a dream of mind to to sing, yeah,
Speaker 2: and to do something like that, and so I would
Speaker 2: love to do that.
Speaker 1: I feel like it'd be cool if you were part
Speaker 1: of like if you lied. I don't know, I feel
Speaker 1: like I see in Mariacci, but I feel like because
Speaker 1: I've heard your voice in that and I love it,
Speaker 1: Like it's so like you have the perfect voice for that.
Speaker 1: So what if like there was like a group, like
Speaker 1: a Mariacci group, you know, like who will mean Laszivas?
Speaker 1: But yeah, what if the you yeah like that but
Speaker 1: obviously you could dress and whatever you could, you know,
Speaker 1: but what if it was part of like the LGBT community.
Speaker 2: There is actually have you heard? Have you heard of mariachis.
Speaker 1: Is?
Speaker 2: Actually I love their name because it's so creative coites,
Speaker 2: but it's all just LGBTQ members.
Speaker 1: Like why don't you do that? There's no like.
Speaker 2: They're all out here everything. So I'm telling you Oregon,
Speaker 2: I love you, Oregon. I love you guys, but it's hard.
Speaker 2: There's like two Mariachi's out there. It's all like more
Speaker 2: old school, and so I've sang with certain Mariachi's like
Speaker 2: Dinner's one of bos, and then that's it, you know,
Speaker 2: and it's like, you know, if you need a member,
Speaker 2: let me know. But I know that there's definitely morepportunities here, Yeah,
Speaker 2: for sure, because I believe one of the members from
Speaker 2: Mariaccillas Dibas followed me too, and she's like, let me
Speaker 2: know when you're out here, and one from Mariaccia too,
Speaker 2: And I even think like an all female Mariacci is
Speaker 2: like pretty cool. Yeah. Just anything that involves women and
Speaker 2: like just kind of taking over a little bit is
Speaker 2: just so exciting for me because I think it's really cool.
Speaker 1: I feel like I could see her at like Disney
Speaker 1: Pride Month Mariacci's right there and all that stuff. That'd
Speaker 1: be so dope.
Speaker 2: I've never been to Disney, so I would love to experience. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I've never been. I went to uh Universal Studios and
Speaker 2: it was okay, okay, it it was okay, I get
Speaker 2: like very emotion sick and it was all virtual.
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, and so it was.
Speaker 2: Just like, if I'm gonna get if I'm gonna get
Speaker 2: motion sickness, can it actually be like an actual ride? Please?
Speaker 1: So I feel like that it's like a one Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: I don't, I don't.
Speaker 2: I like it.
Speaker 1: I agree, But yeah, I definitely see you doing something
Speaker 1: like that and obviously bigger, you know, but right now
Speaker 1: I could see you, Like I don't know, I feel
Speaker 1: like if you were in some type of rupo or
Speaker 1: some you made something mm hmm, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: feel like it could do really good, Like with your voice,
Speaker 1: Like you're the type of you have the type of
Speaker 1: voice that I would hire money actually just for the
Speaker 1: fuck of it to get drunk and and like you
Speaker 1: know what, like you would be booked out all the time.
Speaker 1: You would be expensive as shit.
Speaker 2: Because because honestly, like some of my biggest inspirations growing up, well,
Speaker 2: it started with Rood and there was just something about that.
Speaker 2: I was like, dude, it gets you right, And I
Speaker 2: was just like, but she seems so good really quick?
Speaker 1: Is it different now that you sing it or hear it.
Speaker 2: I can't even sing it right now. I agree, I
Speaker 2: can't even sing it right now, to be honest, because
Speaker 2: people will ask me for it and they'll be like,
Speaker 2: she can't sing you guys, not right now. Eventually one
Speaker 2: day I will. But no, like it started with Rosio
Speaker 2: then because the rasp in her voice, but performance wise,
Speaker 2: not just because it's you, but your mom, dude, Like
Speaker 2: your mom was just so like, with all due respect
Speaker 2: to this my little sash, she like loved doing her
Speaker 2: doing whatever she wanted to do, and like I actually
Speaker 2: quote a lot of her sayings just because I'm like, dude,
Speaker 2: what wouldould I do? Like honestly, like what was she
Speaker 2: doing in certain things? Because I felt like when I
Speaker 2: first started TikTok too, because you know, with me getting fired,
Speaker 2: this person was super like offensive towards me, came for
Speaker 2: me for my looks and like what are you a
Speaker 2: he she? What are you? Like? It was just horrible, right,
Speaker 2: and so the beginning of it was a lot, a lot,
Speaker 2: a lot of hate and it sucked because like on
Speaker 2: certain ones I was really sensitive to it where I
Speaker 2: was like, you don't have to be on here, like
Speaker 2: if you don't like me, if you don't like the
Speaker 2: way I dress, like why are you on here? Right?
Speaker 2: And so I took it really hard. But then I
Speaker 2: started like looking at that like Chinese didn't care, like
Speaker 2: and if you were gonna say something to her, like
Speaker 2: say to her face, you know. And so that's something
Speaker 2: that I would love to do, like have a little
Speaker 2: bit of classic like Juangabrielle style, but then also have
Speaker 2: like second at tequila and like yeah, so I like
Speaker 2: love that type of style where you can be a
Speaker 2: little bit this my little side, a little bit classy.
Speaker 1: And don't put yourself in a box.
Speaker 2: No, I like doing everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't put yourself in a box. You have a
Speaker 1: free open space. I'm gonna pray and I hope many
Speaker 1: more opportunities come for you. You know, Hofully, your voice
Speaker 1: deserves it. I'm a huge advocate for you know, women,
Speaker 1: B TQ and singing and all that stuff. Like I
Speaker 1: believe in your dream and your vision. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I feel like what else would be cool? Like maybe
Speaker 1: she's Hagar, would you know what did I Was I
Speaker 1: the one that told her? Or did I send it
Speaker 1: to you? Or who sent her? The one? When she
Speaker 1: came up with the idea for the tour. She knows
Speaker 1: now I told you, I told you I was gonna
Speaker 1: do it, and I think I did. I don't know whatever.
Speaker 1: But anyways, what if like he taught like what if
Speaker 1: he did teaching classes for people.
Speaker 2: I don't I personally learned my ear So I don't know.
Speaker 1: Anyway, something I don't know.
Speaker 2: I just keep let me because even even with Johnny,
Speaker 2: like he's seen some of my covers and I think
Speaker 2: one time he did comment He's like I want to
Speaker 2: do a song with you, and so I'm like looking
Speaker 2: forward to it where I'm like Johnny Eveando. But I
Speaker 2: also like don't like pressuring people. I say that to
Speaker 2: people all the time, Like people will be like, oh, well,
Speaker 2: why didn't they do this? Why didn't they do that.
Speaker 2: It's like they have lives and they didn't promise anything.
Speaker 2: They don't have to. And even if they just left
Speaker 2: the comment like be happy with that, Like you can't
Speaker 2: really you can't exact, yeah, because I and I say
Speaker 2: it all the time, like even most recently I've done
Speaker 2: another video where like are they gonna invite you? Are
Speaker 2: they gonna invite you? Where it's like but they're going
Speaker 2: through stuff too. Like people are people, they're still regular,
Speaker 2: just doesn't mean that they have to respond to you
Speaker 2: right away or they have to do it in that instant.
Speaker 2: And I don't know. I feel like you guys have
Speaker 2: done so much for me already that like I'm grateful
Speaker 2: for whatever.
Speaker 1: So I appreciate. Thank you so much for coming and
Speaker 1: it was such an honor.
Speaker 2: Thanks.
Speaker 1: What is your socials? Mainly TikTok right.
Speaker 2: Mainly TikTok is Miriam underscorezzle okay, and then you can
Speaker 2: find me on Instagram under Underscore as well. I believe
Speaker 2: YouTube under Miriam Lopez. Just be on the lookout for
Speaker 2: that because I haven't posted anything recently, but I want
Speaker 2: to get on there.
Speaker 1: We're grieving out here, guys, taking time.
Speaker 2: We're taking care.
Speaker 1: No, but thank you again, so so so much. I
Speaker 1: appreciate it, and I'm gonna I wish you the best
Speaker 1: and every every aspect and that you're I know you're
Speaker 1: going to change some You're going to change the world
Speaker 1: in some very specific way, and it's going to be
Speaker 1: the Miriam way.
Speaker 2: Yes, your way, Yes.
Speaker 1: I love it. Well, Thank you so much. Make sure
Speaker 1: you guys like comment, subscribe and I will see you
Speaker 1: guys next Tuesday. Overcome for Podcast is a production of
Speaker 1: I Heart maculturap har Cast Network