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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARVFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 2: We could be reading your letter live on.

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Speaker 1: The air, just like we're going to read this one

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Speaker 1: right here, right now, and you never know, it could

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Speaker 1: be yours.

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Speaker 3: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type.

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Speaker 3: We got it for you here. It is Rawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: All right, neph you, thank you. Subject I don't ever

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Speaker 1: I don't want to ever go back. Subject, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to ever go back. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a

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Speaker 1: twenty nine year old married man and I'm living with

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Speaker 1: my dad at the moment because my wife was having

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Speaker 1: an emotional affair with a man that she works with.

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Speaker 1: I found messages between them and I called the man.

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Speaker 1: He told me that he loves my wife and he

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Speaker 1: hates he didn't meet her before I did. I wrote

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Speaker 1: by the job and I thought about waiting for him

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Speaker 1: to get off work, but I realized I had too

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Speaker 1: much to lose. Instead, I moved in with my dad

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Speaker 1: and I have found someone to help me get over

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Speaker 1: my wife, and I do not want to ever go

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Speaker 1: back home. My dad knows how I feel about my

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Speaker 1: new girl, but he advised me to go back home

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Speaker 1: because my wife is four months pregnant. She was pregnant

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Speaker 1: and texting her coworker stuff about our marriage, and he

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Speaker 1: was giving her advice. I told my dad that she

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Speaker 1: can be with her coworker, but give me my baby

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Speaker 1: when he is born. My dad pushed me to go

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Speaker 1: to counseling and work on my marriage. I was in

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Speaker 1: there thinking about the new girl most of the time.

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Speaker 1: I had a moment of weakness during a counseling session recently,

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Speaker 1: and I told my wife and the therapist that I

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Speaker 1: would move back home so we can work on our marriage.

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Speaker 1: I lied, that's not what I want. I am not

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Speaker 1: thinking the grass is greener on the other side, but

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Speaker 1: I don't want to go back to that dead grass

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Speaker 1: that I married. Only issue is that she's pregnant. I

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Speaker 1: have my dad in one ear saying that I have

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Speaker 1: to go back and give it another try for the

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Speaker 1: sake of my child, and on the other hand, my

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Speaker 1: new girl is saying she'd love to help me raise

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Speaker 1: my son in a happy and loving home. All I

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Speaker 1: know is that I have committed a lot of adultery

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Speaker 1: and I love it. How terrible would it be if

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Speaker 1: I don't go back a lot in this letter? Okay,

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Speaker 1: wow and wow. For some people, even though there was

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Speaker 1: no sex involved, and emotional affair is just as bad

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Speaker 1: as a physical affair to them, mental or physical betrayal

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Speaker 1: is betrayal period.

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Speaker 2: And you're one of those people. I get it.

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Speaker 1: And no matter what your dad says, you have moved on.

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Speaker 1: You've moved on.

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Speaker 2: You're in a whole relationship with another woman. Now.

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Speaker 1: You do have a perfectly innocent child to think about, though,

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Speaker 1: and you got to take that into consideration. It doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean you have to go back, or it doesn't mean

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Speaker 1: you have to stay married to her. Plenty of couples

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Speaker 1: are better at co parenting than they are husband and wife.

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Speaker 1: There are plenty of them. In your case, the trust

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Speaker 1: has been broken here and it's hard to go back

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Speaker 1: after that. It really is, even if there is a

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Speaker 1: child involved, and a lot of people refuse to stay

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Speaker 1: married even if there is a child involved. I say

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Speaker 1: you guys should start working on what's best for the

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Speaker 1: baby at this point, because you've already stated you're not

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Speaker 1: going back. Child support and visitation seem to be the

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Speaker 1: next steps for you, and you need to really think

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Speaker 1: about the baby. That's the most important thing right here,

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Speaker 1: right now.

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Speaker 4: Steve, Well, the key in this whole letter is I

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Speaker 4: don't want to ever go back. All right, Well, if

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Speaker 4: that's the case, I mean, but now here's this is

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Speaker 4: a little loophole in this thing with your father and

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Speaker 4: what she did. I'm a twenty nine year old married man,

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Speaker 4: and you moved in with your dad because you found

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Speaker 4: out that your wife was having an emotional affair with

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Speaker 4: a man that she works with. Now, okay, bro, listen

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Speaker 4: to me. Are you saying that's what she admitted to

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Speaker 4: or did you discover this in texting? Because this emotional affair,

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Speaker 4: So now let me ask you something.

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Speaker 5: You say.

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Speaker 4: I found messages between them, and I called the man.

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Speaker 4: He told me that he loves my wife and he

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Speaker 4: hates he didn't meet her before I did. You know, man,

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Speaker 4: you got a lot of nerve. Dog if you think

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Speaker 4: you're gonna say that to me and we're gonna be

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Speaker 4: good with it. You love my wife, man, you gonna

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Speaker 4: get to loving somebody else. And I wish I had

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Speaker 4: met her before you. Okay, cool, I rode by the job,

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Speaker 4: but I thought about what waiting for him to get

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Speaker 4: off work. But I realized I had too much to lose.

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Speaker 4: Now that's a true statement. I would have to take

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Speaker 4: that stamp stance on it too, because I do have

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Speaker 4: too much to lose to risk it on whooping this

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Speaker 4: dudes behind.

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Speaker 5: I got that.

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Speaker 4: So I think, young man, you made a smart decision,

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Speaker 4: because it's gonna accomplish nothing except get some charges pressed

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Speaker 4: on you. It's premeditated. You drove down there to the job.

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Speaker 4: You don't know how bad this thing could get. Y'all

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Speaker 4: could get in a fight. He accidentally slipped, hit his

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Speaker 4: head on the curve he passed.

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Speaker 5: Now you down you Now you're down here for manslaughter?

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Speaker 5: You know?

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Speaker 3: So?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And it ain't worth that. It's not worth that.

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Speaker 4: Even though even though I do understand how you feel,

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Speaker 4: I can definitely relate. And when I was twenty nine,

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Speaker 4: I would have drove down there and waited until he

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Speaker 4: got off.

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Speaker 5: I didn't have that.

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Speaker 4: When I was twenty nine, I ain't had it. I

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Speaker 4: got too much of loose.

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Speaker 5: I ain't had nothing of loose.

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Speaker 4: I had none twenty nine, I had nothing, so whatever

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Speaker 4: I had T shirts and I'd have lost that because

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Speaker 4: I'd have warmed when he came downstairs.

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Speaker 3: Uh.

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Speaker 4: When we come back, man, I share with you the

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Speaker 4: actual letter and what I think you should do. And

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Speaker 4: but this is looking pretty dark though, Yeah, because I personally.

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Speaker 5: Think is more than emotional affair me personally.

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right, see, we'll have part two of your

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Speaker 1: response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry letter, subject I don't want to ever go back.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening

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Speaker 1: Steve Hardy Morning Show.

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Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve, Let's recap today's Strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject is I don't want to ever go back.

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Speaker 4: Well, a stir about this twenty nine year old married

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Speaker 4: man and he's had to move in with his dad

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Speaker 4: because he found out his wife was having any emotional

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Speaker 4: affair with a man that she works with.

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Speaker 5: He found some messages and then he called a man.

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Speaker 4: The man told him he loves my wife and he

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Speaker 4: hates it and meet her before I did.

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Speaker 5: That's a lot of guts. So the man did what

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Speaker 5: most men would do.

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Speaker 4: I rode by the job and I thought about waiting

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Speaker 4: for him to get off, but I realized I had

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Speaker 4: too much to lose.

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Speaker 5: Every man can understand what he's said right here.

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Speaker 4: I do applaud the young man for practicing restraint, because

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Speaker 4: something could have happened. Really, this thing could have went sideways,

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Speaker 4: and you know, you could wind up in prison.

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Speaker 5: So all right, bruh, and it ain't worth that.

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Speaker 4: So instead I moved in with my dad and I

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Speaker 4: found someone to help me get over my wife.

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Speaker 5: I have told women.

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Speaker 4: This over and over and over. Men get over losing

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Speaker 4: you with another you. I have said this a thousand

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Speaker 4: times on this show. So he found somebody, and your

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Speaker 4: dad knows how he feels about his new girl. But

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Speaker 4: he advised me to go back home because my wife

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Speaker 4: is foremost pregnant.

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Speaker 5: Well, you know.

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Speaker 4: You asked, you asked for Okay, she's foremost pregnant. Okay,

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Speaker 4: But but once she foremost pregnant while she was this

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Speaker 4: what you call emotional cheating, she was pregnant too. Now,

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Speaker 4: I told my dad she can be with her coworker,

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Speaker 4: but give me my baby when he is born. Boy, boy,

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Speaker 4: listen to me that that's not fitna happen. That ain't nobody.

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Speaker 4: Ain't nobody gonna take the baby from a mother because

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Speaker 4: she had an emotional little fac while y'all man son, sir, listen, man,

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Speaker 4: let's take this off the table.

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Speaker 5: Okay.

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Speaker 4: I told my dad that he can be with the man,

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Speaker 4: and you know she could be with her coworker, but

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Speaker 4: give me my baby when he's born.

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Speaker 5: Brother, brother, stop that my baby stuff?

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Speaker 4: Do you you do understand she's manufacturing this child right now.

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Speaker 4: The mother has dips. Get this notion out of your head.

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Speaker 4: Give me my baby. My dad pushed me to go

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Speaker 4: to counseling and work on my marriage. I was in

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Speaker 4: there thinking about my new girl. Most of the time.

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Speaker 4: I had a moment of weakness. I only counselor. I

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Speaker 4: was ready to go back. I told my wife therapist,

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Speaker 4: I moved back home so we could work.

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Speaker 5: On our marriage. I lie, Well, let me ask you something.

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Speaker 4: While y'all been going to therapy and working on your marriage,

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Speaker 4: is she still talking to the coworker? Is she still

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Speaker 4: going to work because you line And she could be

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Speaker 4: lying too, because as she begged you to come back home,

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Speaker 4: as she asked you for forgiveness, I'm not reading that

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Speaker 4: in this letter.

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Speaker 5: But I don't want to go back now.

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Speaker 4: I'm not saying that I think the grass is green

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Speaker 4: on the other side, but I don't want to go

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Speaker 4: back to the dead grass that I'm int whoa young fella.

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Speaker 4: I gotta give you something on that one, because I

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Speaker 4: ain't heard that one before.

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Speaker 5: I didn't climb the.

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Speaker 4: Fist to a whole lot of times. I wish I

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Speaker 4: could have used that in court on my last one.

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Speaker 4: I wish I had known that one.

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Speaker 1: Now.

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Speaker 4: It is it is when you talk about somebody, I'm

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Speaker 4: ext one, do hellsome dollarge. The only issue is that

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Speaker 4: she's pregnant. I got my dad in one end saying

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Speaker 4: I have to go back and give another try for

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Speaker 4: the sake of my child. On the other hand, my

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Speaker 4: new girl is saying she would love to help me

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Speaker 4: raise my son in a happy, loving home.

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Speaker 5: She crazy too, You crazy.

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Speaker 4: If you think this woman is fit to give you

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Speaker 4: you old baby as you put it, and for this

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Speaker 4: girl to tell you she'll be more than happy to

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Speaker 4: raise your son in a happy and loving home.

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Speaker 5: Boy, bye, let's scrap that idea.

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Speaker 4: Let's get that off the table, because the woman your

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Speaker 4: wife has done nothing whether the court's gonna remove that child.

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Speaker 5: So let's you so far from this man now.

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Speaker 4: All I know is that I have committed a lot

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Speaker 4: of adultery and I love it.

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Speaker 5: Boy, bull to his listen to me.

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Speaker 4: This is the first class ticket to hell. You can't

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Speaker 4: just say the statement you want to make. All I

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Speaker 4: know is I've committed a lot of adultry and I

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Speaker 4: love it. I know, son, I know, I know. I

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Speaker 4: know what you're saying. But don't say that no more.

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Speaker 4: Don't say that no more. That's one of the commandments, homie.

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Speaker 4: That ain't the one you need to be bragging about.

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Speaker 4: There's ten commandments.

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Speaker 5: It's ten.

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Speaker 4: You the locked in on one and I love it.

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Speaker 4: Hold up, dog, just pull up on that a little

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Speaker 4: bit okay, how terrible would it be if I don't

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Speaker 4: go back? It's going to be terrible if you don't

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Speaker 4: go back. The child won't get to grow up in

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Speaker 4: a family with the trust being broken. How is the

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Speaker 4: love holding up? See, that's the only question and only

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Speaker 4: you can answer that. Women are asked to forgive me

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Speaker 4: all the time. It's not normally where we have to

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Speaker 4: forgive the woman. When women do stuff like that, it's

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Speaker 4: for a reason. In the counseling sessions, have you all

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Speaker 4: talked about the reasons that made her do it? Was

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Speaker 4: she empty somewhere? The child would be without a two

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Speaker 4: family home, which is important today, so you can you

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Speaker 4: can work it out. Work it out. If it was

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Speaker 4: Jesse emotional, then find out what she's lacking and fulfill

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Speaker 4: the knees and.

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Speaker 5: Do your job.

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Speaker 1: You can comment on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: also check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free

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Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app.

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Speaker 2: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show