Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine.
Speaker 2: I'm really excited about today, Chelsea.
Speaker 1: Oh oh wow, you have a little party boomer. I
Speaker 1: actually a little podcast party boomer.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you why, Chelsea? We are finally going
Speaker 2: to do some matchmaking.
Speaker 3: Oh that's nice, callers, pay attention. Are these just for
Speaker 3: gay people or is this for hetero heterogenerous heado generous couples?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 2: Here is the thing. When I finally dug into the emails,
Speaker 2: I thought to myself, like, how am I going to
Speaker 2: hook these people up?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 2: Because people are all over the country, all over the
Speaker 2: world emailing in. Some people are gay, some people are straight,
Speaker 2: et cetera. There are a lot of straight women that
Speaker 2: wrote in. And I you know, we will do our
Speaker 2: best for you ladies, but yes, it's going to be
Speaker 2: more successful for gay guys.
Speaker 1: Okay, well take whatever we can tell you. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean. We have to help who we can help.
Speaker 2: Yes, But I thought what we'd do. I thought we
Speaker 2: can do sort of a crowdsourcing thing and then we'll
Speaker 2: let people side into their into an email that we
Speaker 2: create for them. Cute, Chelsea, I have some updates from
Speaker 2: some previous callers. Are you ready for this?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, this first one is from a recent piece
Speaker 2: of advice that we gave Melanie. She was from an
Speaker 2: episode that you and I had done together. Her airbnb
Speaker 2: host was a little older, little sexy older man situation.
Speaker 2: She was worried about putting the moves. Uh huh, She says,
Speaker 2: I have a very happy update for you. After another
Speaker 2: month of growing closer and getting flirty, my host finally
Speaker 2: bit the bullet while we were on a hike.
Speaker 1: Together, add sister. I love it.
Speaker 2: Until me he'd like to be more than friends. Needless
Speaker 2: to say, I was so relieved since I've clearly been
Speaker 2: such a chicken about making a move Since then, we
Speaker 2: went on a first official date where he took me
Speaker 2: to the movies and surprised me with roses. We finally
Speaker 2: said everything we've been holding in, and things moved quickly.
Speaker 3: Ever, I love that part or you tell each other
Speaker 3: all the times you were about to say something and
Speaker 3: you didn't, and then they tell you what they were thinking.
Speaker 1: That's the most exciting time of a reallyationship. It's the best.
Speaker 3: It's a very very beginning where you're just flirting and
Speaker 3: like trying to like be on your best behavior.
Speaker 2: And like filling in the gaps from things that have
Speaker 2: already happened, like here's where my head was at with that.
Speaker 2: He treats me like absolute gold, and I'm stunned that
Speaker 2: it's even possible to feel so adored by an emotionally
Speaker 2: available man. I'm being showered with words of adoration and
Speaker 2: we're already talking about finding ways for me to stay
Speaker 2: here in New Zealand long term. It's a big adjustment.
Speaker 2: Living in the same house and dating a much older
Speaker 2: man is all new territory for me. But I'm more
Speaker 2: than ready to heal all the dating app drama I
Speaker 2: endured in my twenties. Thanks again for your encouragement and
Speaker 2: all you do on this podcast. Hopefully I can provide
Speaker 2: more happy updates soon. In gratitude a Melanie.
Speaker 1: And stay in New Zealand.
Speaker 3: That's a safe place for global warming too. They're saying
Speaker 3: New Zealand US. All the bunkers are over there.
Speaker 2: Are there?
Speaker 3: Yeah, they have a lot of millionaires and billionaires have
Speaker 3: built like bunkers into the side of the mountains in
Speaker 3: New Zealand, even though it's pretty much an island.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't have huge elevation but has protective rock
Speaker 1: layering and there are hills and stuff. Yeah.
Speaker 2: We have a friend who is a Kiwi and he
Speaker 2: did COVID right. He decided to like leave his terrible
Speaker 2: wife and go back to New Zealand at the beginning
Speaker 2: of COVID, and he was like, I got there. You
Speaker 2: have to quarantine for two weeks, right, so they put
Speaker 2: you up. The government put you up in a nice
Speaker 2: hotel on the beach and one hour a day they
Speaker 2: would like have someone follow you for your like romantic
Speaker 2: walk on the beach so you could have some outdoors time.
Speaker 2: And then they give you like steak dinners every night
Speaker 2: for two weeks, all on the government. I was like,
Speaker 2: good job New Zealand.
Speaker 1: For when you were stressed out.
Speaker 2: No, just like during the beginning of COVID when he
Speaker 2: had to quarantine because they only let.
Speaker 1: Yeah that is nice.
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm having dinner with my friends tonight and he
Speaker 3: just texted me, do you want sushi or steak?
Speaker 1: I'm like sushi.
Speaker 2: I don't want steak any early.
Speaker 3: I don't know even when my bell gets steak for
Speaker 3: the house. I look at it now and I'm just
Speaker 3: so disgusted. I can't even eat it. I can eat
Speaker 3: a burger, but steak itself starting to get really grossed
Speaker 3: out by I know.
Speaker 2: Sometimes you do just get the ick like I sometimes
Speaker 2: we'll get the ick for chicken for like two years ago.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I had that about salmon, and now
Speaker 3: I'm down, deep down, I'm upriver with salmon.
Speaker 2: I love salmon.
Speaker 1: You know why.
Speaker 3: I also like salmon because bears love salmon, and I
Speaker 3: love fucking watching bears try and catch salmon. Do you
Speaker 3: watch YouTube videos or it's just like your canon stadium?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I watch are bears and fat fat babies?
Speaker 1: Oh yes, I love both of those things.
Speaker 3: It's amazing how a lot of people do not like
Speaker 3: fat babies because I forward that stuff to my girlfriends
Speaker 3: and a lot of them are like, stop sending us this.
Speaker 3: They're like, this is gross. I'm like what, I think
Speaker 3: it's beautiful. I mean, when is the time to be
Speaker 3: a fatty unless.
Speaker 2: It's absolutely easiest time to do it?
Speaker 1: See?
Speaker 2: My thing right now is just like dogs that are
Speaker 2: howling or like singing quote unquote, and people will write
Speaker 2: these like jazz tunes underneath them, and it cracks me
Speaker 2: up every single time. I just absolutely love it. Dog
Speaker 2: humor is pretty solid, solid, It's solid.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: On that note, we're gonna take a quick break and
Speaker 3: will be right back, and we're back.
Speaker 2: We are well, h says dear Chelsea. I'm an almost
Speaker 2: thirty three year old woman living alone in a major
Speaker 2: city in Washington State, which I recently relocated to to
Speaker 2: be closer to certain members of my family. My relationship
Speaker 2: with my mother has gotten a little bit better in
Speaker 2: recent years as both of us have been going to therapy,
Speaker 2: but still honestly has quite a ways to go. I
Speaker 2: love her very much and do believe she's a wonderful
Speaker 2: person underneath it all. My mom has never liked any
Speaker 2: person I've ever introduced her to, whether they were romantic
Speaker 2: or a friend. She always seems to see the worst
Speaker 2: in people, even when they've never given her any reason
Speaker 2: to be suspicious or wary. In all my adult life,
Speaker 2: I have simply tried to accept that that's how she is,
Speaker 2: and let her unsolicited opinions about me and my life
Speaker 2: choices roll off my back like water off a ducts back,
Speaker 2: as you like to say. Periods of time in which
Speaker 2: I've gone low contact or given her a strict information
Speaker 2: diet to preserve my joy and protect myself from her
Speaker 2: unsolicited opinions. But I've also tried to do right by
Speaker 2: her and make her proud. I've been dating my boyfriend
Speaker 2: for a few months, and recently it felt like a
Speaker 2: good time to casually introduce him to some of my people,
Speaker 2: my folks included. I felt that it all went well.
Speaker 2: All of my friends absolutely loved him, and the meeting
Speaker 2: with my folks seemed very chill and cordial. Then a
Speaker 2: week after that, my mom expressed significant concern. She said
Speaker 2: that he makes her feel uncomfortable, that she feels he
Speaker 2: is potentially dangerous, and has a gut feeling that he's
Speaker 2: bad news. I maintained my composure to hear her out,
Speaker 2: but gently pressed to ask if he said anything rude
Speaker 2: or did anything inappropriate that made her feel this way.
Speaker 2: She said no, it was just her intuition exactly. I
Speaker 2: feel I should mention that he does have an alternative look.
Speaker 2: He's missing a few teeth from a traumatic altercation in
Speaker 2: his youth and looks a bit rough around the edge.
Speaker 2: I've heard his stories and get zero red flags from them,
Speaker 2: and honestly find it very hot that he has his
Speaker 2: own style. He's in touch with himself, and I find
Speaker 2: his look very attractive. He's a wonderful man who treats
Speaker 2: me better than I've ever been treated, and is much
Speaker 2: softer on the inside than he looks on the outside. However,
Speaker 2: I truly value intuition. Do I put stock in hers
Speaker 2: or trust my own? Sincerely?
Speaker 6: H Hi, h Hi, Chelsea, Hi Catherine, So great to
Speaker 6: meet you.
Speaker 1: Is that a cabbage patch kid behind you in that window?
Speaker 2: So some weird dull?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm a nanny, so there's all sorts of kid.
Speaker 1: Oh oh, I see copy of that.
Speaker 2: Yes, we are catching her during nap time.
Speaker 3: So it sounds like you have a long history of
Speaker 3: this dynamic in your relationship, right, that she's been pulling
Speaker 3: this shit for years and years.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and to the point where I want to honor
Speaker 6: her perspective and I want to always consider if there
Speaker 6: may be is some truth to any of her complaints,
Speaker 6: you know, But when I really think about it, I
Speaker 6: just can't quite figure out what her deal is, why
Speaker 6: there's consistently a problem.
Speaker 1: And has her intuition been right before?
Speaker 6: Not really, I mean, not in anything else. I mean,
Speaker 6: she's been correct that my relationships in the past didn't
Speaker 6: last forever. But that was my choice and a good one.
Speaker 3: But that's more factual, that's not intuitive, right, that's what happened.
Speaker 1: Happened.
Speaker 3: I would put a lot less value in what her
Speaker 3: intuition is telling her. There is a nice way to
Speaker 3: say this to her, though, because you have a great
Speaker 3: opportunity because you just said all of these things that
Speaker 3: make your boyfriend or I don't know if you're calling
Speaker 3: him that yet, are you calling him your boyfriend? Okay,
Speaker 3: your boyfriend like shady kind of characteristics like he's missing
Speaker 3: a couple of teeth, or what people would frame as
Speaker 3: rough around the edges as you mentioned like that, right,
Speaker 3: I think that's really open minded of you that that
Speaker 3: doesn't bother you. That's a great place to start to say,
Speaker 3: to just engage in this conversation and go, you know,
Speaker 3: while I can understand for this, this and this reasons
Speaker 3: that might have made you uncomfortable, but I don't really
Speaker 3: look at those things as you know, I think those
Speaker 3: are characteristic of who he is, not as character flaws,
Speaker 3: you know, And you can use your own language to
Speaker 3: say all of this, but it's a great opportunity to
Speaker 3: a be soft and gentle honor her intuition, and also
Speaker 3: let her know it's really no longer welcome. You're a
Speaker 3: woman now. You don't need her opinion, you don't need
Speaker 3: her approval. She's not even proven herself to be good
Speaker 3: at listening to her intuition. These are judgments, not intuitiveness.
Speaker 3: You know, judgment and intuition are two different things.
Speaker 6: So yeah, well, thank you for clarifying, because that's kind
Speaker 6: of where I was trying to draw the line as well,
Speaker 6: where it's like, if it actually felt like intuition, if
Speaker 6: it was coming from a best friend who actually knows
Speaker 6: me really really well.
Speaker 1: Or has a track record of steering you in the
Speaker 1: right direction.
Speaker 6: Then I would be taking it super seriously. But with her,
Speaker 6: it's like, now, I think that's just a nice word
Speaker 6: for judgment.
Speaker 2: For me, it's a big green flag to me that
Speaker 2: all your friends really really liked him, and that you
Speaker 2: know he got along with the rest of your people.
Speaker 2: And I think you know you have this track record
Speaker 2: with your mom of like, she doesn't like your friends,
Speaker 2: she doesn't like whoever you bring home. I think you
Speaker 2: mentioned she loves everybody your sister brings home.
Speaker 4: M M.
Speaker 2: Of course, when you just gotta feel amazing. But you mentioned,
Speaker 2: you know, wanting to do right by her and make
Speaker 2: her proud, and I think for me, especially, like that's
Speaker 2: something I carry with me all the time that I'm
Speaker 2: working on. Dismantling in my thirties is just like being
Speaker 2: okay with sort of disappointing my parents and in ways
Speaker 2: that are sort of large and small, and often you know,
Speaker 2: the result is not as catastrophic as I thought it
Speaker 2: was going to be in in previous years. And you know,
Speaker 2: like Chelsea said, having a conversation with her reminding her,
Speaker 2: don't judge a book by its cover. That's not what
Speaker 2: I'm doing. And I'd love to see him prove you wrong.
Speaker 2: And you know, whether or not we stay together for
Speaker 2: the long haul. I think he's a great person and
Speaker 2: would love for you to get to know him better.
Speaker 6: Right, So would you both say that would you recommend
Speaker 6: that I wait to have that conversation with her and
Speaker 6: then kind of feel out how any future meetings between
Speaker 6: them might go, because I I don't want to completely
Speaker 6: bar him from any part of my family life just
Speaker 6: because she's going to get pissy.
Speaker 2: But I also don't want to.
Speaker 3: I think you're going to be surprised by her reaction
Speaker 3: to this because it doesn't sound like you've had this
Speaker 3: conversation with her before.
Speaker 6: Correct not on this subject, but I have essentially said
Speaker 6: very similar things to her opinions about either my school
Speaker 6: or my career or my this or my you know whatever.
Speaker 6: So just different topic, you know.
Speaker 1: We'll use this topic, and trying to like just change
Speaker 1: the approach, even just slightly different, so that it's memorable
Speaker 1: for both of you in a positive way, because I
Speaker 1: think you don't seem like an angry person. But get
Speaker 1: rid of any anger.
Speaker 3: Or accusation, okay, because even calling out her judgment is
Speaker 3: really her accusing him of being something that she has
Speaker 3: no proof to bear witness of. So I think you're
Speaker 3: gonna look at this and you're gonna be proud of yourself.
Speaker 3: And it cannot be understated to every single person who's
Speaker 3: listening today. When you act and courage and you stand
Speaker 3: up to something that bothers you in a loving way,
Speaker 3: it's like you evolve to the next level of being
Speaker 3: a human being because you won't ever have to struggle
Speaker 3: with that kind of thing again. So it's worth every
Speaker 3: minute that you spend thinking about it and executing it
Speaker 3: in the like, in your highest vibe and really getting
Speaker 3: the message across to your mother in a loving way.
Speaker 3: And I guarantee you will be You will be very
Speaker 3: surprised by the response, because I don't think you're gonna
Speaker 3: have to worry about when to schedule after even if
Speaker 3: she gets mad, Initially, she's going to come down and
Speaker 3: think about what happened, and she's going to know that
Speaker 3: she wants to see you.
Speaker 1: That's going to be, you know, a double thing, and
Speaker 1: she's going to want.
Speaker 3: To prove to you that she's not judgmental and that
Speaker 3: her intuition is right. And in that effort, she will
Speaker 3: be wanting to spend time with you. And that's not
Speaker 3: to say that her intuition is right, but that will
Speaker 3: be her motivation, do.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Because you came at her at a different level, and
Speaker 3: then that requires a different response. You can't mingle the
Speaker 3: same way when you're doing it differently.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know you've learned this lesson not to
Speaker 2: judge a book by its cover. You really like this guy,
Speaker 2: he seems really great, but she hasn't learned that lesson yet.
Speaker 2: So coming at her with a sort of like you
Speaker 2: don't have to say this to her, but in your
Speaker 2: mind being like aw, like she has she's not quite
Speaker 2: there yet, you're encouraging her like maybe just have an
Speaker 2: open mind. I really like him, and maybe you'll you'll
Speaker 2: have a different opinion down the road, and then like
Speaker 2: leaving it at that. I think whether to like talk
Speaker 2: to her about it or shoot her a text is
Speaker 2: dependent on like how sort of activated you think that
Speaker 2: you will be. Do you feel like you can have
Speaker 2: this conversation with her in person and not get upset
Speaker 2: with her, or do you think maybe shoot her a text.
Speaker 6: At some point, I feel like I can as long
Speaker 6: as things haven't been like getting inflammatory earlier on that
Speaker 6: you know, hang out or conversation. But she is in
Speaker 6: town actually for the next couple of days, so I've
Speaker 6: just been kind of keeping things neutral around a little
Speaker 6: bit of an information diet, just calling like normal and
Speaker 6: just shooting the breeze, not really bringing it up, just
Speaker 6: trying to not upset myself with it. So I feel
Speaker 6: like if the opportunity presents itself and makes sense, then
Speaker 6: I might go for it, and if not, then I
Speaker 6: might just wait a little bit longer and maybe add
Speaker 6: something like that into a text the next time that
Speaker 6: I'm going to be in her orbit.
Speaker 2: And also, you know, the more that you do bring
Speaker 2: him around, the less of sort of a shock his
Speaker 2: appearance will be. Like when you get to know someone,
Speaker 2: their appearance in a weird way sort of fades away.
Speaker 2: You don't notice these sort of really specific things about
Speaker 2: them that you might have noticed so much in the beginning.
Speaker 2: So you know, I would definitely encourage you to like
Speaker 2: keep bringing him around.
Speaker 6: Awesome, we'll do cool.
Speaker 2: And also will you text us a picture of him too,
Speaker 2: or like the two of you together?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Absolutely, it's going to be from a rocky horror picture show.
Speaker 6: So we're going to look all sorts of interesting.
Speaker 1: Love it perfect, good life.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Age.
Speaker 6: Thank you so much, both of you. Love your show
Speaker 6: so much.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 2: Good luck with the babies.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 6: Have a great day, you too. I bye.
Speaker 2: My mom by the way, who was about to be
Speaker 2: in town. Every time she comes, she's like, do you
Speaker 2: have any tattoos? No, Mom, I still don't have any tattoos.
Speaker 2: That's like her greatest fear.
Speaker 1: For it is that's fun.
Speaker 4: Nice.
Speaker 1: Oh my nieces have tattoos. They do have tattoos. I
Speaker 1: don't have any, but they do.
Speaker 2: Well, you can still be buried in Jewish cemetery then.
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, well, yes, I hope they put me on fire, though,
Speaker 3: set me on fire and tossed me into the ocean.
Speaker 1: I hope they tossed me into the mouth of an anaconda.
Speaker 2: That sounds wonderful, actually, well. Our next caller is Christina
Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea. I'm thirty three and my boyfriend is forty six.
Speaker 2: We both currently live in California. We dated for six months,
Speaker 2: then he abruptly ended things. I was completely caught off
Speaker 2: guard and heartbroken, of course. However, two weeks later, my
Speaker 2: dad and my grandmother died on the same day coincidentally,
Speaker 2: and my uncle died on my birthday a few months later, so,
Speaker 2: needless to say, I wasn't that concerned with the breakup.
Speaker 2: Six months went by and we ended up reconnecting and
Speaker 2: have since been together almost a year now. His father
Speaker 2: died a few months ago, and he's dealt with mental
Speaker 2: health issues on and off and is currently on antidepressants.
Speaker 2: We truly love each other and spending time together. However,
Speaker 2: I'm at a place where I want to know what
Speaker 2: he wants for the future. Anytime I bring that up,
Speaker 2: he gets uncomfortable and frustrated, and he says he has
Speaker 2: to figure himself out first. My question is am I
Speaker 2: wasting my time with him? Should I stick it out
Speaker 2: and wait for him to figure out what he wants marriage,
Speaker 2: family or bachelor life, etc. And also is he too
Speaker 2: old for me? Thanks? Christina?
Speaker 3: Hi Christina, Hello, Hi telse me, I would say that
Speaker 3: it sounds.
Speaker 1: Like you should probably move on. Oh man, Yeah. I
Speaker 1: don't think that.
Speaker 3: Neither of these things are issues singular, but I think
Speaker 3: collectively they become some issue. Like I don't care about
Speaker 3: the age difference, but somebody at that age who's still
Speaker 3: not ready to figure out what his life goals are,
Speaker 3: it doesn't make sense. That's too old, Like you should
Speaker 3: at least have your feet underneath you enough to say
Speaker 3: yay or nay, because that can just be him stringing
Speaker 3: you along until you give him an ultimatum. You know,
Speaker 3: maybe that's what it is either way, or if it's
Speaker 3: genuinely he doesn't know either way not hot, those aren't
Speaker 3: hot qualities and they're not promising and they're not good
Speaker 3: for you.
Speaker 1: And then on the.
Speaker 3: Other side of it, like the breakup that you had
Speaker 3: and then you getting over it. Obviously you had other
Speaker 3: things to go, but like that's proof that you got
Speaker 3: past him once.
Speaker 1: Like I have no.
Speaker 3: Problem imagining you getting over him again. Yeah, so that's
Speaker 3: a positive thing to think about. You don't need three
Speaker 3: people to die for that to happen either, Like you
Speaker 3: can get over him, you know it's possible. And I
Speaker 3: just don't think, especially when you've broken up with someone
Speaker 3: and you got back together, that there's any room if
Speaker 3: one of if you wants to be in this for
Speaker 3: the long haul. There's no room for Like I don't know,
Speaker 3: you were just in a relationship, you broke up because
Speaker 3: it didn't work out, and now you're back together. You're
Speaker 3: not going through that cycle of things again. Either you're
Speaker 3: back together to stay together, or you're back together and
Speaker 3: it's whoopsie doodle, it's time to break up again.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I agree.
Speaker 2: The year mark feels like I mean, first of all,
Speaker 2: as Chelsea said, his age, like it does sort of
Speaker 2: feel like I have forty six. You should kind of
Speaker 2: know what you want from life enough.
Speaker 3: To know if you want to be with someone that
Speaker 3: you that you've been intimate and in a long term relationship.
Speaker 2: With absolutely and make a future together.
Speaker 1: What's the wishy washy that's so unattractive?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not like you guys have been together three
Speaker 2: months and he's not sure if he wants like marriage
Speaker 2: and kids with you. You've been together on and off
Speaker 2: for a year and a half.
Speaker 7: Yeah, And I joke because the only reason that we
Speaker 7: really got back together this last time, I blame it
Speaker 7: on my dog because my dog had an emergency one
Speaker 7: night and he was like the first person that I called,
Speaker 7: and so he was there right away. But if it
Speaker 7: really weren't for that, it's kind of like I've put
Speaker 7: in the effort.
Speaker 3: And you initiated the get back together then, like that
Speaker 3: was you. So that's another reason that you should probably
Speaker 3: move on. This doesn't sound like a him and you
Speaker 3: relationship of fifty to fifty. It sounds like you making
Speaker 3: the moves and him like okay or maybe not.
Speaker 7: I hate to say it, but I'm thirty three and
Speaker 7: so I kind of want some answers, and you know,
Speaker 7: it would just make me feel better to know what's
Speaker 7: going to happen in a way, even though that might
Speaker 7: not even work out.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I mean, you could present it in a
Speaker 3: very direct, upfront way that's like doesn't give a lot
Speaker 3: of room for figuring it out. Like, hey, buddy, I'm
Speaker 3: kind of getting the sense that you're not down for
Speaker 3: what I'm down for. That's totally fine. There's no requirement
Speaker 3: for you to be with me or for me to
Speaker 3: be with you. But if you're not ready for that
Speaker 3: and you can't commit to like a future together, then
Speaker 3: I'm more interested in finding somebody who will.
Speaker 1: And you know, no hard feelings.
Speaker 2: At all, Chelsea, You've given this type of advice before,
Speaker 2: but that conversation like may include a breakup, maybe not
Speaker 2: right at that moment in that conversation, but shortly thereafter.
Speaker 2: And you know, sometimes when you do cap that with
Speaker 2: a breakup of like, okay, then I do need to
Speaker 2: move on. Like two weeks later, they're right back, like
Speaker 2: knock on your door, Like, no, I figured it out.
Speaker 2: I do want marriage and family and a kid's yeah.
Speaker 7: That is true, And I kind of have given him
Speaker 7: a little bit more grease because, like I put in
Speaker 7: the letter, you know, his dad passed away and so
Speaker 7: he's been my depressant and that can have obviously a
Speaker 7: big effect on lot.
Speaker 3: What everyone's dad passes away. It's not an excuse. It's
Speaker 3: something to be sensitive about, but it's not the end
Speaker 3: of the world. Everybody is dealing with that at some
Speaker 3: point in their lives.
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2: How important I mean, obviously you wouldn't be writing in
Speaker 2: if it wasn't. But what's your trajectory as far as
Speaker 2: I feel like I want to be getting married and
Speaker 2: having kids, like sooner rather than later? Is it deal
Speaker 2: breaker level for you? Where are you at on that?
Speaker 7: You know, I'm not in a super rushed I want
Speaker 7: it to be their right situation. Otherwise I don't want
Speaker 7: to do it at all. But I want to be
Speaker 7: with someone that at least kind of wants the same
Speaker 7: things and the future. So he doesn't really think that
Speaker 7: he knows, and so I'm just like, how long is
Speaker 7: it going to take for him to figure that out?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 7: And then I'm getting older and so I just, you know,
Speaker 7: would like to have some sort of certainty in a way.
Speaker 2: I think, Yeah, you sound very confident when you're talking
Speaker 2: to us about this, and I would encourage you to
Speaker 2: take that into your conversation with him, like leave the
Speaker 2: koy stuff behind, Like Chelsea said, be super direct and
Speaker 2: be like, here's where I'm at. This is what I'm
Speaker 2: looking for in my five year plan whatever you know,
Speaker 2: quote unquote, but this is what I'm looking for in
Speaker 2: the near future. Is that something you want as well?
Speaker 2: And I know is okay?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 7: And the reason I brought up the age things because
Speaker 7: sometimes when I do come at him direct, it's almost
Speaker 7: like he can kind of talk back to me in
Speaker 7: a way where he acts like he is older than
Speaker 7: me and those more what he does. But I'm feeling
Speaker 7: like that's becoming more of an issue.
Speaker 2: Well, and you're not twenty three, yeah, you're thirty three.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And another thing to remember is, you know, when you
Speaker 3: are breaking up with someone, like to not think about
Speaker 3: what you're losing, but to think about the adventures that
Speaker 3: you're about to embark on.
Speaker 1: Like there's so much coming up for you.
Speaker 3: When you say goodbye to a situation, it doesn't matter
Speaker 3: if it's the right decision or the wrong decision. You're
Speaker 3: like up for new stuff all the time happening. You
Speaker 3: need to focus on that when you're breaking up instead
Speaker 3: of women who focus on I'm gonna be alone, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna be alone, I'm gonna be loon.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna miss them, I'm gonn miss him.
Speaker 3: You're gonna be with yourself and you're gonna have a
Speaker 3: good time, and you're gonna go out with your friends
Speaker 3: and family and whatever makes you happy. And if you
Speaker 3: want to stay in bed for three days, you're also
Speaker 3: gonna be able to do that. But it's not the
Speaker 3: end of the world for any of us. As we're learning,
Speaker 3: relationships are an opportunity to do it the right way.
Speaker 3: When you're leaving someone, do it with style and grace
Speaker 3: and no anger and be like, all right, party on,
Speaker 3: you know. And if you guys end up back together, great,
Speaker 3: and if you don't even better.
Speaker 7: Yeah, that is true. And it's sometimes hard to make
Speaker 7: that decision. I mean, like I was thinking about it,
Speaker 7: is it harder to break up with someone or to
Speaker 7: be broken up with?
Speaker 2: Ah?
Speaker 1: The age old question. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I think I prefer to be broken up with, yes
Speaker 3: for that, but I need until I don't until I'm
Speaker 3: broken up with and then I won't like it at all.
Speaker 2: When are you gonna have this conversation with him? You think, Well,
Speaker 2: I did tell.
Speaker 7: Him that I was going to be talking to you guys,
Speaker 7: and so he was joking and he said, well great,
Speaker 7: He's like none, I'm gonna have to say she talked
Speaker 7: to Chelsea Handler, and now she broke up with me
Speaker 7: because Chelsea talk.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is already a thing. I think that's out there.
Speaker 3: Man. I can't go anywhere alone with men. I need
Speaker 3: security at all times. Men hate me so much.
Speaker 2: Well tell him we actually said, or get off the pot.
Speaker 1: Just say Chelsea said.
Speaker 3: This doesn't have to be an angry or a combative conversation.
Speaker 3: She just thinks we should both be as completely.
Speaker 1: Honest as possible.
Speaker 3: And if his honesty is that he really doesn't know,
Speaker 3: then you have to find somebody who does know.
Speaker 7: Yeah, And I mean the tough part about it is
Speaker 7: that's like it's logic versus emotion in a way, so
Speaker 7: it's hard to differentiate the two of those. You know, logically,
Speaker 7: this makes sense, but then emotionally it's like we do
Speaker 7: love each other. So to make that decision is tough
Speaker 7: because he hasn't really done anything wrong necessarily that I
Speaker 7: know of.
Speaker 2: But yeah, well give us an update as soon as
Speaker 2: you have a conversation with him. And then also like
Speaker 2: when you kind of figure out what's next for you,
Speaker 2: or if he decides to man up and wants the
Speaker 2: same future as you do.
Speaker 3: And emotions like you're talking about practicality or practical things,
Speaker 3: And emotions like emotions aren't thought, they are feelings, you know.
Speaker 3: It's what you do with that feeling that becomes the
Speaker 3: thought of your emotion. So while you could be missing
Speaker 3: somebody and grieving them, you can still be excited about
Speaker 3: the possibilities beyond that relationship.
Speaker 7: Yeah, that is true. Well, yes, I'll keep you guys posted.
Speaker 2: And thank you so much.
Speaker 7: My mom got tickets to your show in October and
Speaker 7: DC so fun.
Speaker 1: Okay, cool, I'll see her then. Thanks so much.
Speaker 2: Christina, thank you guys so much.
Speaker 4: Ye.
Speaker 2: I guess she's adorable. She's so sweet. Well, Chelsea, we
Speaker 2: have our calling in backup segment today and I want
Speaker 2: to say thanks to our partners at Betterhelp Response.
Speaker 1: Right, Yes, thank you Better Help.
Speaker 2: And today we're joined by Courtney Cope. They're a licensed
Speaker 2: marriage and family therapist and principal clinical operations manager at
Speaker 2: Better Help. Hi Courtney, Hello there, Well, our first question
Speaker 2: comes from and dear Chelsea. Within the past six months,
Speaker 2: I've had a resurgence of self care and a new
Speaker 2: outlook on health and fitness. I've been exercising and eating healthy,
Speaker 2: and for the first time ever, I'm seeing health and
Speaker 2: fitness as an act of self love and nourishment rather
Speaker 2: than trying to change my body or punish myself. My
Speaker 2: best friend is at a really low point in her life.
Speaker 2: She previously struggled with sorted eating and exercising and all
Speaker 2: around is just not in a place in her life
Speaker 2: where she's ready to get back into it, which I
Speaker 2: fully respect. Here's the thing. We have a previous history
Speaker 2: of using each other as excuses to go out and
Speaker 2: get hammered and not take care of ourselves, and I'm
Speaker 2: outgrowing that need. My struggle is that I'm very determined
Speaker 2: and enthusiastic about my newfound love for changing my lifestyle,
Speaker 2: and whenever I mention wanting to make it to a
Speaker 2: workout class or not drink so much when we go out,
Speaker 2: she acts like it's a joke or doesn't take it seriously.
Speaker 2: I've tried to get her to join my workout classes
Speaker 2: with me, but she's not at a place where she
Speaker 2: can afford a gym membership either. Whenever she suggests going
Speaker 2: somewhere to eat, I want to bring up that, yes,
Speaker 2: I'd love to, but I'm trying to eat healthier and
Speaker 2: would rather just eat the food I have at home.
Speaker 2: But I worry about triggering her ed or making her
Speaker 2: feel bad about herself when it's really not about her
Speaker 2: at all. How can I make it clear that this
Speaker 2: isn't just a phase, this is just something I'm really
Speaker 2: trying to accomplish and I'm loving. How can I get
Speaker 2: her to take me seriously and see that this is
Speaker 2: self love without triggering her and making her feel bad
Speaker 2: for where she's at in life? Is it possible? Am
Speaker 2: I in the wrong? Thanks so much for all you do.
Speaker 5: And this is such a layered question. And the thing
Speaker 5: that came to mind was the concept of seasonality in
Speaker 5: friendships and how sometimes there are seasons where we're in
Speaker 5: step and we're doing all the same things. We're going
Speaker 5: to the same place, as we're listening to the same music,
Speaker 5: we have the same hobbies. And then there are seasons
Speaker 5: where we begin to kind of diversify our interests, or
Speaker 5: it changes, our circumstance changes, maybe we move away, maybe
Speaker 5: we get a different job, all these kinds of things.
Speaker 5: So what I'm hearing is that she's entering into a
Speaker 5: slightly different season potentially than her friend. And I just
Speaker 5: want to first of all, reassure the listener above all,
Speaker 5: this type of experience is totally common and super normal
Speaker 5: for friendships.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I also think there's a way to sort
Speaker 2: of get the train on your tracks. So, you know,
Speaker 2: if you don't want to go out and you do
Speaker 2: want to eat the food you have at home, invite
Speaker 2: her over, you know, invite her over for whatever healthy
Speaker 2: things you want to make and whatever healthy drink you
Speaker 2: want to drink if you're drinking. But there's also ways
Speaker 2: to find a restaurant that has really healthy options.
Speaker 3: And also just try not to shove it down her
Speaker 3: throat so much like you're making it seems like you're
Speaker 3: making a lot of proclamations about what you're doing. Is
Speaker 3: sometimes it's more impactful to make the changes without advertising them.
Speaker 2: I think that's a very good point.
Speaker 5: Right, like, let your actions speak for yourself, because I
Speaker 5: did hear you know, the question was what do I
Speaker 5: do so that she doesn't, you know, feel bad or
Speaker 5: she might question and it's like, well, if you're just
Speaker 5: doing it right, no, if sands orbut's about it it's
Speaker 5: really hard for people to make comments about it or
Speaker 5: you know, be upset that you're doing It's like, you're
Speaker 5: just out there doing it.
Speaker 2: Chelsea, what do you think about? You know? She mentions
Speaker 2: that the friend acts like it's a joke or sort
Speaker 2: of blows it off. That to me feels like a
Speaker 2: little bit of an insecurity thing.
Speaker 3: Well, it just feels like another reason to stop making proclamations.
Speaker 3: She's not taking you seriously. You can't make someone take
Speaker 3: you seriously by repeating what they're not taking you seriously about.
Speaker 1: So keep it to yourself. I know you want it
Speaker 1: to be a long term thing.
Speaker 3: It's like when you announce that you're quitting smoking and
Speaker 3: then you don't quit. You know, it's like the dynamic
Speaker 3: if you don't stick to this. Of course you want
Speaker 3: to stick to this, you want to make lifestyle changes,
Speaker 3: but give it a year and when those changes are permanent,
Speaker 3: then you could start espousing your you know what happened
Speaker 3: and everything. But it's easy to not take someone seriously
Speaker 3: when they're into something new. So I wouldn't even put
Speaker 3: that on her friend so much. I would just like,
Speaker 3: unless it's mean or whatever, she's not in that situation.
Speaker 3: So of course she doesn't want you drinking less and dieting.
Speaker 3: That's not fun for her. So I wouldn't put too
Speaker 3: much weight on it. I would just say do your thing,
Speaker 3: and if she could come along with you for some
Speaker 3: of that, great, And you know, if you take some
Speaker 3: time apart during this time, that's also fun.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 5: That's a total typical part of adult relationships. And even
Speaker 5: just if you want to be compassionate towards your friend
Speaker 5: and not even bring some of these things into the mix,
Speaker 5: just plan things like events that are not food related,
Speaker 5: so going to a museum, go to the movies, go
Speaker 5: roller skating, or go on a but like bring your
Speaker 5: own food and instead of like, oh, we'll go out
Speaker 5: and we'll find a place, like focusing on things that
Speaker 5: will allow you to have parallel play, enjoy the activity
Speaker 5: you're doing without making it about going out, drinking alcohol,
Speaker 5: indulging in whatever foods like that will allow you to
Speaker 5: kindle that friendship and keep it intimate.
Speaker 2: Because that's the other thing I hear is there is.
Speaker 5: An aspect of worrying of losing this friendship or them
Speaker 5: becoming more distant because they used to go out and
Speaker 5: use each other. She says, we use each other for
Speaker 5: excuses to like make unhealthy habits and go out drinking.
Speaker 5: So if you just transition your friendship to we find
Speaker 5: meaning doing these other things, now, that allows it to
Speaker 5: be more of an easeful transition.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I like that suggestion because it's not like, hey,
Speaker 2: why don't we go for a hike. It's like let's
Speaker 2: go to a museum, which is like still active, but
Speaker 2: it's not like, hey, we're going to go for a run,
Speaker 2: or we're going to go to a spin class or whatever.
Speaker 2: I feel like usually the advice is to sort of
Speaker 2: be really honest and open and confront the person, but
Speaker 2: in this case that's not necessary and in fact, like
Speaker 2: taking it a notch back.
Speaker 5: I would say the only caveat to potentially having a
Speaker 5: conversation with your friend is, you know, she does mention
Speaker 5: triggering her friend's disordered eating, and so if that is
Speaker 5: a true concern and she wants to make sure she
Speaker 5: doesn't put her friend in an awkward position in the moment,
Speaker 5: she could ahead of time just say something casual like hey,
Speaker 5: you know, before they're together, text her give her a
Speaker 5: calicy like hey, is now a time for me to
Speaker 5: talk about something important. Great, So I just want to
Speaker 5: let you know that I am making some changes in
Speaker 5: my life, and I just want to make sure that
Speaker 5: these changes because I know we've bonded in the past
Speaker 5: over going out drinking and you know, maybe making some
Speaker 5: choices that we were like, oh, that wasn't the healthiest
Speaker 5: choice for us. I'm just going to be making different choices,
Speaker 5: and I just want to give you a heads up
Speaker 5: because I wouldn't want that to impact our friendship, and
Speaker 5: I want to make sure we're finding fun things to
Speaker 5: do moving forward. That would be my caveat if she
Speaker 5: genuinely is concerned about figuring her friend, But otherwise, I
Speaker 5: think it's totally fine to just live your life exactly
Speaker 5: what Chelsea was saying, like, live your life, go out,
Speaker 5: be about it, don't talk about it, and then if
Speaker 5: conflict arises down the road or her friend's like, how
Speaker 5: come you're not going out with me anymore? Or how
Speaker 5: come you know you keep turning me down, then you
Speaker 5: can have a conversation about it, because then that's really
Speaker 5: about the connection of the friendship versus the actual food
Speaker 5: or drinks that they're consuming.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, and thank you for writing in and
Speaker 2: of course thank you to our calling him back up
Speaker 2: sponsor Better Help, and to Courtney Cope, who is a
Speaker 2: licensed marriage and family therapist and principal clinical operations manager
Speaker 2: at Betterhelp.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thanks Cortney. Bye bye bye.
Speaker 2: Let's take a quick break and we'll be back with
Speaker 2: some matchmaking.
Speaker 1: Can you please not saying matchmaking? Can you please not?
Speaker 3: We'll be right back. We're back with matchmaking. That's how
Speaker 3: we're saying it, matchmaking. Every time you saying matchmaking, two
Speaker 3: three hard boiled eggs fly out of your mouth.
Speaker 2: Well, Chelsea, we're here with our first matchmaking folks candidate.
Speaker 1: So he wants to be hooked up this guy?
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, And you know, we had talked about doing
Speaker 2: an episode about this, but I thought we could potentially
Speaker 2: make this a recurring segment so we can match make
Speaker 2: more people. I mean, I'm over here just like dreaming
Speaker 2: of all the love that's going to happen, and like
Speaker 2: hoping for dear Chelsea babies and all of these things.
Speaker 2: So I'm way down in the future. I'm picking out
Speaker 2: curtains for everybody.
Speaker 8: Also, that might be tough with all the game and
Speaker 8: you're going to connect they can adapt.
Speaker 3: By the way, in speaking of matchmaking, there's a bunch
Speaker 3: of child Free and Crushing Its shirts available on our website.
Speaker 3: In addition to Dear Chelsea Merch, we designed a child
Speaker 3: Free and Crushing Its shirt which has been our biggest
Speaker 3: tour seller.
Speaker 1: So I'm sure some of the callers would like that.
Speaker 2: That's amazing. I love that, Chelseahandler dot com. Well, our
Speaker 2: first person to match is Patrick, and I thought how
Speaker 2: we'd go about this is we are going to at
Speaker 2: the end of this give people his Instagram so people
Speaker 2: can slide right into his DMS. If Patrick sounds like
Speaker 2: someone you might be interested in. Patrick. By the way,
Speaker 2: when I first chatted with him, he was at his
Speaker 2: ex's house walking his ex'es jog and he said, I
Speaker 2: know you just had an episode saying don't do that anymore?
Speaker 1: Is it?
Speaker 2: It depends on the situation, but it seems like it
Speaker 2: was a positive, so he says. I recently wrote in
Speaker 2: an email to say every time I felt like I
Speaker 2: needed to write in, I've listened to your podcast and
Speaker 2: found my answer to highly specific situations from wanting to
Speaker 2: fire an assistant to ending a friendship over chewing should
Speaker 2: I buy a car, or if I should buy land
Speaker 2: or make a career move. Your podcast has steered me
Speaker 2: in the best direction. Nowadays. Everything in my life is
Speaker 2: going pretty fucking swimmingly. I'm a successful visual artist, not
Speaker 2: the starving kind, an uncle, a great friend, fucking funny,
Speaker 2: and I'm a sweet ass dog dad. But the right
Speaker 2: guy just hasn't come along. I've got my shit together
Speaker 2: therapy wise, and I'm definitely of the same mindset as
Speaker 2: you when you say when you're healthy, you'll attract healthy.
Speaker 2: I'm on the apps, I've gone on dates, and it's
Speaker 2: been a healthy amount of time since I've had a relationship.
Speaker 2: But I think the universe was waiting for our paths
Speaker 2: to align so that Chelsea can just say, oh fuck,
Speaker 2: let's set this bitch up with someone. Perfect problem solved. PS.
Speaker 2: I'm thirty four, gay, af and first nation which is
Speaker 2: Native American to you, XO Patrick, and Patrick is going
Speaker 2: to be joining us. Hi.
Speaker 1: How are you? Hi?
Speaker 4: I'm so good. I'm just going to put this on
Speaker 4: to not disturb.
Speaker 1: Good luck getting it off of that. So what kind
Speaker 1: of guy are you looking for? Patrick?
Speaker 3: What interests you are you open? Do you have a
Speaker 3: very specific expectations.
Speaker 8: Tell us I'm quite broad and tall, so I think
Speaker 8: someone like a little bit more broad and tall like myself.
Speaker 8: I am half Native American and I can't grow a beard,
Speaker 8: so someone that has a beard, you know, chest hair
Speaker 8: two would be sick.
Speaker 1: Are you a top or a bottom? Does that matter?
Speaker 4: I'm like a little bit both.
Speaker 1: Oh, yourse your worse. Yeah, I wanted to use that
Speaker 1: in a sentence for a while. You're welcome, Thank you Patrick.
Speaker 2: I know I've told Chelsea that you were walking your
Speaker 2: excess dog when we met.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: What's your relationship history? How many relationships have you had
Speaker 3: and how for how long?
Speaker 8: Well, I'm thirty four, i am going to be thirty
Speaker 8: five this year, and I've had maybe like five relationships
Speaker 8: since I was like twenty, you know, one for like
Speaker 8: a couple of years, one for a year, one for
Speaker 8: like six months.
Speaker 1: And then like one night stands and fine in between.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah for sure.
Speaker 1: And have you ever had a really really bad breakup?
Speaker 4: Yeah? It was. Yeah.
Speaker 8: I think like the first ones when you're really young,
Speaker 8: you kind of I don't really know how to react,
Speaker 8: and especially being a gay person that came out at twenty,
Speaker 8: like straight people always have years ahead of us in
Speaker 8: terms of like being able to date people for like
Speaker 8: since they were you know, kind of kids.
Speaker 4: So I just didn't have the right kind of foundation
Speaker 4: to deal with it. But that was like twelve years ago.
Speaker 4: I'm good.
Speaker 2: Now, Yeah that's good.
Speaker 3: And have you been to therapy? Are you do you
Speaker 3: go to therapy? Are you into any of that?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Totally.
Speaker 8: The last one, I was like, okay, so I have
Speaker 8: a pattern of just breaking up with dudes and just
Speaker 8: kind of ghosting or it's kind of like a mutual ghosting.
Speaker 8: And I was like, you know what, these are all
Speaker 8: great people like I kind of I don't want to
Speaker 8: kind of continue this pattern. So I went to therapy
Speaker 8: and my ex and I are friends, like in a
Speaker 8: positive way, I would say, So that's why I was
Speaker 8: babysitting with dogs, and my dog and his dog are dating,
Speaker 8: so like, you know, we have to stay in touch.
Speaker 3: And are you do you would you say you have
Speaker 3: a strong personality, like mild personality?
Speaker 1: How would you describe yourself?
Speaker 8: I would say I have been told him quite even Keel,
Speaker 8: I used.
Speaker 4: To go out a lot.
Speaker 8: I kind of like, I live in Toronto, Canada, but
Speaker 8: I'm building a house up north, like seven hours away,
Speaker 8: kind of on the lake. So I do like coming
Speaker 8: back to the city for you know, some excitement, but
Speaker 8: then it's fucking nice to leave too.
Speaker 3: Okay, so let's say three words to describe yourself. What
Speaker 3: would you say?
Speaker 8: Okay, fun, adventurous and solid, amazing, and because this is
Speaker 8: an audio medium, just to describe him.
Speaker 2: He's got a full head of hair, nice dark hair,
Speaker 2: he's beefy, he's sexy. He's got a cute tank on
Speaker 2: that I think he designed, right Patrick, I.
Speaker 4: Did for a Pride a couple of years ago. Yeah. That.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would have sex with you if you were straight.
Speaker 1: So there you go. I think it is human of
Speaker 1: sex with you. Of the endorsement we're looking for, and
Speaker 1: he has a great laugh.
Speaker 2: But we should also say your location and also you
Speaker 2: have a vacation home that sounds like which is great.
Speaker 1: Which is a great way to get people in. That's
Speaker 1: a great lure.
Speaker 4: I'm building. It's it's coming along. Yeah.
Speaker 8: I'm an artist and graphic designer and I have had
Speaker 8: my own business the last eight nine years and it's
Speaker 8: kind of mind blowing to myself even that I'm like
Speaker 8: able to build a house but that's so cool.
Speaker 4: Here we go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you are Toronto ish.
Speaker 8: Yeah, Toronto is It's where my clothes are. But I'm,
Speaker 8: like I said, I'm kind of up north a lot
Speaker 8: just to get out of the city, especially in the summer.
Speaker 4: It's fucking hot ast shit here. I didn't have time
Speaker 4: to go get my.
Speaker 8: Ac before I got back here, so I'm like a
Speaker 8: little bit damp at the moment.
Speaker 2: But thank you for not saying it's moist. I truly
Speaker 2: appreciate it. But now I've said it so gross.
Speaker 4: Word.
Speaker 2: Well, I have three little dating game questions.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, look, okay.
Speaker 2: Just maybe we add some little game show music under
Speaker 2: this baby if we want to get wild. Okay, So
Speaker 2: our first question is our weekend plans have just gotten
Speaker 2: rained out. What are we doing instead?
Speaker 4: We are watching movies and cookies?
Speaker 3: Fucking fucking I'm sorry I had to answer that because
Speaker 3: that's my answer.
Speaker 1: We're fucking pasta first.
Speaker 4: And then and then the fucking Yeah, we need some energy.
Speaker 1: That's fun fucking in the rain.
Speaker 4: Yeah, pasta from scratch, it's so much better.
Speaker 2: Yes, all right, if you found a fifty dollars bill
Speaker 2: on the ground in a busy area. Would you keep
Speaker 2: it or try to find the owner.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't try hard to find the owner, but if.
Speaker 1: You're that's exactly what I would say.
Speaker 3: I'd look around and then I'd be like, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 3: give it to someone else or not think about it often.
Speaker 2: Yes, well he's honest, fellas.
Speaker 4: That's what you get from is it American? An American
Speaker 4: fifty or Canadians?
Speaker 2: A water main broke and you got to leave work
Speaker 2: three hours early, which sort of doesn't apply since you
Speaker 2: work for yourself. But imagine what do you do with
Speaker 2: your newly free time.
Speaker 4: We're taking the dog's dog only have one.
Speaker 8: We're taking the dog to the lake and hopefully there's
Speaker 8: a beach involved, and we're going to bring snacks and
Speaker 8: some Baga.
Speaker 1: Sodas and yeah, don't forget your edibles.
Speaker 4: I will bring some just in case someone needs them.
Speaker 1: I should be an adult camp counselor as well. I should.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it has to be legal adult activity, so it
Speaker 3: has to be with adults, maybe remedial adults, is.
Speaker 4: What I were side hustle. I can see it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like it awesome. Well Patrick, if you want
Speaker 2: to just read out your Instagram handle it.
Speaker 8: Sure, Patrick, Hunter Underscore Art is the insta where you
Speaker 8: can find me and keep pictures of my dog and
Speaker 8: all the artwork mostly pictures of my dog, but there
Speaker 8: is some artwork on there.
Speaker 2: Great and I will put that in the show notes
Speaker 2: as well, so fellows can just click and check you
Speaker 2: out and slide into the dams.
Speaker 4: All right, I can't wait.
Speaker 1: Okay, I can't wait either.
Speaker 4: All Right, I'll let you know how it goes.
Speaker 1: Okay by Patrick, Thank you, Patrick, over, and now we're
Speaker 1: going to take a quick break. I will be right back.
Speaker 2: Well, we had some new and interesting things today, Chelsea,
Speaker 2: remind me what they were. We had some matchmaking. Yes,
Speaker 2: we had a couple of cotchmaking.
Speaker 1: This is where things are gonna really hit the fan.
Speaker 1: I think things in a good way.
Speaker 3: I think there is going to be a lot of
Speaker 3: matchmaking happening on this podcast, and now we're using and
Speaker 3: especially to the people that we want to be happy exactly.
Speaker 2: We have so many amazing people writing in and I'm
Speaker 2: really excited to feature some more matchmakings.
Speaker 3: You know, there's a great match would be a straight
Speaker 3: woman comes on here and a straight man and they
Speaker 3: end up being soul Bates. He's listening to Jaior Chelsea
Speaker 3: and he comes and meets this woman talk about a
Speaker 3: self actual life that would be like the most together
Speaker 3: guy that I know.
Speaker 2: That is true.
Speaker 1: He's the most with it.
Speaker 2: And honestly, if he's single and he's listening to this podcast,
Speaker 2: he has the pick of the litter because there's so
Speaker 2: many straight women who listened to this podcast. Thanks so much,
Speaker 2: this has been so much fun.
Speaker 3: Okay, we'll see you guys next week. My Okay, guys,
Speaker 3: we have added more shows to my Little Big Bitch tour.
Speaker 3: I added another second show in Toronto, so I have
Speaker 3: two shows in Toronto now the December seventh, December eighth,
Speaker 3: December ninth, I'm in Ottawa, and two new shows at
Speaker 3: December fifteenth, on a Friday, We're doing a seven thirty
Speaker 3: and ten pm show with Kevin Hart and Friends that's
Speaker 3: in Thackerville, Oklahoma. And all my other shows you can
Speaker 3: buy tickets for at Chelseahandler dot com. I'm starting my
Speaker 3: tour backup on September twenty ninth in New York City
Speaker 3: at The Beacon, which is sold out, but the next
Speaker 3: night there are tickets available. September thirtieth at the Beacon,
Speaker 3: So for all fall dates, you can go to Chelsea
Speaker 3: handler dot com.
Speaker 1: For tickets, you'll see me.
Speaker 2: Courtney Cope's input is general psychological information based on research
Speaker 2: and clinical experience. It's intended to be general and informational
Speaker 2: in nature. It does not represent or indicate an established
Speaker 2: clinical or professional relationship with those inquiring for guidance. Courtney's
Speaker 2: feedback is in respect to a written question, and therefore
Speaker 2: there are likely unknown considerations given the limited context. Also,
Speaker 2: just because you might hear something on the show that
Speaker 2: sounds similar to what you're experiencing, beware of self diagnosis.
Speaker 2: Diagnosis is not required to find relief, and you'll want
Speaker 2: to find a qualified professional to assess and explore diagnoses
Speaker 2: if that's important to you. If you or your partner
Speaker 2: are in crisis and uncertain of whether you can maintain safety,
Speaker 2: reach out for support like crisis hotlines and local authorities
Speaker 2: have a safety plan that can be done with a
Speaker 2: therapist too. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us
Speaker 2: an email at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com
Speaker 2: and be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea
Speaker 2: is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law,
Speaker 2: and be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler
Speaker 2: dot com