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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode a Bachelor Happy Hour, and

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited to finally report. I am gazing into

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Speaker 1: Rachel's eyes once again. We don't have we don't have

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Speaker 1: any shoddy Wi Fi, no more tornado warnings that we

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Speaker 1: have to deal with. So it just feels good to

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Speaker 1: be back back to some normalcy here. And I can't

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Speaker 1: wait because Rachel, we have a fun episode and we

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Speaker 1: have a very fun guest today because next week, I

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Speaker 1: don't know if it's a surprise to anyone, but we

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Speaker 1: are recappy Nick Vile season on The Bachelor's greatest season's ever.

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Speaker 1: And of course not only did our guests that will

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Speaker 1: have on come from Nick season, but you know, my

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Speaker 1: lovely co host, Rachel, that's where you started in getting

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Speaker 1: your foot in the door in the Bachelor world. And

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Speaker 1: you know, I think that's obviously where you started, and

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Speaker 1: then I was on the season after you, and so

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Speaker 1: it's kind of like where this friendship blossomed and what

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Speaker 1: brought us together. And so it's gonna be fun because

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Speaker 1: I feel like I have to first personally think Nick

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Speaker 1: for you, and because without him, we would yeah, thank

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Speaker 1: you Nick. So without him, we wouldn't have you guys,

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Speaker 1: and so yeah, before we introduce our guest Rachel, you

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Speaker 1: obviously had such a huge part in his season, and

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Speaker 1: I'm curious to know how do you feel now watching

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Speaker 1: Nick season back and having it re air and kind

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Speaker 1: of reliving some of those memories and those feelings. Interesting

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Speaker 1: watching Nick season back now because so much has happened,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like I've been had my

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Speaker 1: own season, engaged, married, friendships you know that have developed,

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Speaker 1: some are still good, some aren't. It's just so much

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Speaker 1: has happened. I've met so many people, so many you know,

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Speaker 1: leads have come after me, contestants. It's and I'm watching

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Speaker 1: it through different eyes now because I knew nothing when

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Speaker 1: I was on the Bachelor, And it's crazy to go

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Speaker 1: back and watch Nick season because I feel I was

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Speaker 1: so naive going in. I didn't know anything. I knew

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Speaker 1: the basics of the show. I remember I was like,

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Speaker 1: what's first first impression rows? When like Chris came out

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Speaker 1: and brought out the rows, it was like, what does

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Speaker 1: that mean? You know? There was just so much. I

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Speaker 1: was just kind of flying by the seat of my pants,

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Speaker 1: excited and having so much fun with the girls. I

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Speaker 1: think that's the best part of going back and watching it,

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Speaker 1: but just realizing I had no idea what I was

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Speaker 1: getting myself into, no idea at all. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: feel I was thirty one, but I look at that

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Speaker 1: Rachel and she seems like such a baby, such a baby,

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Speaker 1: and I have to agree, like I, you know, it's

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Speaker 1: been when did Nick season air four years ago? Ari?

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Speaker 1: When I was on his series three years ago, and

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Speaker 1: even like you said, so much has happened. I feel

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Speaker 1: like I was just such a different place in mindset.

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Speaker 1: But I felt I mean, and I had watched some

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Speaker 1: seasons of The Bachelor before I went on, so I

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Speaker 1: think I knew a little bit more probably than you

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Speaker 1: did going in. But I also feel like I went

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Speaker 1: in with my rose colored unintended rose colored glasses on

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Speaker 1: me and like, oh, this is going to be the

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Speaker 1: most exciting adventure. And you had literally no idea what

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Speaker 1: to expect, what was going to come around the corner,

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Speaker 1: who was going to come in and out, And those

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Speaker 1: first couple of weeks, especially when you're living in the

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Speaker 1: mansion with all the girls, it's it's special. And I

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Speaker 1: wish I could go back to those, like first two

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Speaker 1: weeks and really soak it all in and soaking those

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Speaker 1: conversations and those I loved it. I loved it. It

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Speaker 1: was I mean, it was kind of scary at first,

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Speaker 1: being like, I'm going to be living with twenty to

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Speaker 1: twenty five girls who have no idea who they are,

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Speaker 1: where they came from. But surprisingly like and especially at first,

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Speaker 1: I really wanted to get to know everyone and got

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Speaker 1: along for the most part with everyone, and so I

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Speaker 1: just wish I would have soaked it in a little

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Speaker 1: bit more. Oh my gosh, it's such a different perspective.

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Speaker 1: It's very interesting. I feel like I didn't get my like,

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Speaker 1: find my rhythm till we got outside of the mansion.

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Speaker 1: I felt like I was suffocating in the mansion. In

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Speaker 1: a matter of fact, the very last day before we left,

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Speaker 1: I didn't know we were leaving. That day, my eyes

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Speaker 1: were swollen, like my face was puffy. It was like

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Speaker 1: I was having an allergic reaction to the mansion, I

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Speaker 1: mean truly, And then once we left, I was all good.

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Speaker 1: And then even in watching the nixt season back, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I don't remember, and I hate to say this, there's

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Speaker 1: so many women I don't remember from the first night,

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Speaker 1: even who went home after the first week. I just

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Speaker 1: felt like, yeah, once we got on the road and

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Speaker 1: ours was just a little bit more interesting because the

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Speaker 1: hurricane was coming to Hilton Head and that's where we

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Speaker 1: were supposed to go on the season and we couldn't,

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Speaker 1: so they had to rearrange things at the very last

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Speaker 1: minute and we went to Wisconsin. So we were in

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Speaker 1: a hotel for a day with like normalcy, like no

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Speaker 1: producers around us, no microphones, we could listen to music,

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Speaker 1: we could watch TV. We were sneaking into one another's rooms.

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Speaker 1: So it was just a different experience. But yeah, I

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Speaker 1: can go I can go on and on and on

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Speaker 1: about our season. Well, thankfully we will be able to

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Speaker 1: watch some of it back on Monday, August thirty first,

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Speaker 1: But before that, Rachel, I know that we love to

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Speaker 1: do this, especially when we're recapping the seasons. We always

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Speaker 1: have the rose and the thorn, and I want to

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Speaker 1: ask our guests this too when She's on. But I

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Speaker 1: need to ask you, because you lived through it all,

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Speaker 1: what was throughout the entire season of Nick season? What

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Speaker 1: was your rose and your thorn? This is so tough

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Speaker 1: because I feel like I have a lot of roses honestly. So,

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Speaker 1: I mean the rose I would have to say are

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Speaker 1: the friendships that came. I can't like narrow it down.

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Speaker 1: It's like all the friendships and even the friendship that

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Speaker 1: I have with Nick to this day. So I'm throwing

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Speaker 1: him in the bunch too. I don't I feel like

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Speaker 1: I out of maybe Vanessa for different reasons because they

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Speaker 1: were engaged. I'm probably the person from our season that's

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Speaker 1: the closest to Nick and so, and we do have

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Speaker 1: a lot of respect from one another and a friendship.

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Speaker 1: So I really appreciate that. I pride myself in being

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Speaker 1: close with my exes except for the last one, and

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Speaker 1: so I like, I'm glad that I can continue that

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Speaker 1: on with Nick, and then just the friendships, friendships that

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Speaker 1: I made that will last a lifetime. On the season,

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Speaker 1: it was a beautiful surprise to me. I didn't expect

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Speaker 1: to make one friend and I left with many. I'm

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Speaker 1: thankful for that. The thorn, I would say, I'll flip

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Speaker 1: it on that. On that side, I would say the

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Speaker 1: loss of friendships. You know, there's so many people that

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Speaker 1: you've like. You just you start off so high and

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Speaker 1: then you know, life happens and things happen and things

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Speaker 1: just dwindle. So I would say the thorn is the

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Speaker 1: loss of some of those you know, Um yeah, I

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Speaker 1: like well, I like you said so well, and that

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Speaker 1: is saying. It's like you you go from this crazy

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Speaker 1: experience that really bonds you in a totally unique and

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Speaker 1: different way that most people I don't think ever will

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Speaker 1: experience in their lifetime with some of the girls, and

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Speaker 1: then you know, you're like on this high where you're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: we're going to travel and see each other and do

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Speaker 1: all these crazy, cool fun things. And then, like you said,

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Speaker 1: life does happen and it sput some people up. And

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Speaker 1: but I do love how you started that, because you

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Speaker 1: did say there's so many roses and that's the truth.

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Speaker 1: It's hard to pick just one. But yeah, friendships, it's

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Speaker 1: like I've said this before, it's you know, you go

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Speaker 1: on the show to hopefully find love and hope that

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Speaker 1: it works out in that way. But even if you

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Speaker 1: don't find love with the lead, you still find it

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Speaker 1: with some of those girls, which is a really special guying. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, I I have infamous for making a famous

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Speaker 1: tweet back in the day after my season that said,

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Speaker 1: these Bachelor relationships are fickle and fleeting, and I still

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Speaker 1: believe that because I think what happens is the same way.

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Speaker 1: You don't see these relationships work out between the lead

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Speaker 1: and whoever they choose, because you meet each other in

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Speaker 1: this protected world and then life happens and you get

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Speaker 1: to know people how they are in the real world.

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Speaker 1: And that's why a lot of times these relationships don't

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Speaker 1: work as lovers and as friends, and it is an

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Speaker 1: unfortunate thing because you remember the joy that you had

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Speaker 1: when you were in this bubble together and the connection

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Speaker 1: that was formed, and then that bubble burst and it

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Speaker 1: just shows you a whole new side of things. Well, oh,

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Speaker 1: there was one thing that I just wanted to say

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Speaker 1: prior to the tweet, but mind blank whatever. It'll come

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Speaker 1: to me later if you remember it. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was gonna say. One of the things that I

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Speaker 1: feel like people don't ever talk about, but I think

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Speaker 1: I loved living in the mansion so much is because

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Speaker 1: of all the food that they provided, Like there's stars.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys had this answer you did,

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Speaker 1: it's probably I feel like when the guys when I

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Speaker 1: was about shout, when the guys we're living in the mansion.

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Speaker 1: It was like protein powders and stupid stuff and ours

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Speaker 1: had like the frosted animal cookies and yeah oreos and yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean I definitely gained I think like the freshman fifteen,

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Speaker 1: just living in the mansion for those two weeks. But

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Speaker 1: it was so worth it. I was livid that there

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Speaker 1: wasn't a chef I was living. I was like, are

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Speaker 1: you kidding me? Out of all the money that this

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Speaker 1: franchise has and all the things that you decide to

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Speaker 1: cut back on, there is no chef. We have enough

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Speaker 1: things to worry about in this mansion, like finding the

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Speaker 1: love of our life, trying to you know, like navigate

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Speaker 1: these women, these catty living and we all I want

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Speaker 1: to do is come into like a beautiful meal and

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Speaker 1: we have to cook. I remember they were like, who cooks?

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Speaker 1: Like two people rest their hands in our house. I was, yeah,

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Speaker 1: definitely wasn't there for the food. Again, I had to

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Speaker 1: get out of that mansion, Okay, Becca, So now I'm

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Speaker 1: super excited to announce our guests today because I can

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Speaker 1: talk about NIXT season. But do you guys hear me

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Speaker 1: talk about Nick Wow? I talk about NIXT season but

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Speaker 1: you guys hear me talk every single week, so we

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Speaker 1: thought it would be fun to bring somebody on from

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Speaker 1: Nick season who not only lived through it, but she's

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Speaker 1: a fellow strong female. She's a therapist, a future sexologist.

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Speaker 1: She's someone Becca I'm proud to call friend, and we

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Speaker 1: weren't friends on the show, I have to say that,

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Speaker 1: so we'll definitely get into that. She's the host of

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Speaker 1: the podcast. Let's talk about it with Taylor Nolan. You guys,

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Speaker 1: please welcome Taylor to the show. Welcome to the show,

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Speaker 1: Taylor Nolan. Yeah, he thanks so much for having me.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever met you in like virtual

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Speaker 1: or real life becas. Yes, nice to meet you. Finally,

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Speaker 1: I wanted to start out first. I obviously have to

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Speaker 1: ask how you're doing, but Rachel and I were having

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Speaker 1: this conversation. I also just for me, I need to

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Speaker 1: know everything about a sexologist. Yeah, so all just basically

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Speaker 1: means that they've studied sexuality. So a someone that has

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Speaker 1: their doctor their doctor and sexuality essentially can do sex therapy.

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Speaker 1: You know, they can do workshops, they can work with

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Speaker 1: people one on one, they can write books. I mean,

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Speaker 1: the biggest part I think of being a sexologist is

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Speaker 1: helping people unlearn all the things that we've been told

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Speaker 1: about sex and what it's supposed to be and how

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Speaker 1: we're supposed to experience it. So a lot of it

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Speaker 1: is walking people through unlearning things, processing through shame and

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Speaker 1: destigmatizing sex, and just kind of helping normalize all the

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Speaker 1: language around sex. Oh, first of all, I know that

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Speaker 1: that's what a sexologist did. Second, yeah, that's for franchise.

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Speaker 1: How have we not hired Taylor Nolan to have for

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Speaker 1: the contestants to have a consultant with her, I mean

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Speaker 1: your consultation with her right before they go into the

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Speaker 1: fantasy seek? Can you imagine how amazing because there is

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Speaker 1: so much stigma, especially for women before they go in,

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Speaker 1: Like do I sleep with all three? What are people

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Speaker 1: gonna say if I go, If I close the door,

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Speaker 1: who knows what's going to happen. But imagine if I

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Speaker 1: had this whole session with you before and it's like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I am woman, and I'm going to

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Speaker 1: free myself behind these closed doors. That's what my parents

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Speaker 1: called the fantasy the closed doors do not care. Oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, it's interesting because I mean on the show,

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Speaker 1: so we talk about virginity a lot, right, like we

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Speaker 1: have these I hate that. I know there's there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of emphasis around sex, but a lacking of like

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Speaker 1: real in depth healing conversations around west sex can be

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Speaker 1: and just there is so much pressure built up on

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Speaker 1: the show around it that I think is incredibly stressful

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Speaker 1: for contestant. So, yeah, if that position opens up, let

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Speaker 1: me know. This is I didn't watch Fultons, I'm sure.

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Speaker 1: Typically I was like, this is gonna be too much virginity.

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Speaker 1: I can't like too hard. I have a question for you,

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Speaker 1: so and I swear to God, guys, we're gonna get

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Speaker 1: into nixt season. But come on, this is interesting. This

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Speaker 1: is interesting. Do you have a problem with the way

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Speaker 1: the franchise fantasizes the fantasy suite? And do you think

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Speaker 1: that we should have to wait until there are three

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Speaker 1: people or they should just bump that up according to

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Speaker 1: the league. You know what, it's week three, I'm feeling

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Speaker 1: like I want a fantasy suite one, two, three, four, seven,

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Speaker 1: eight nine. Let's let's go at it, Like, do you

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Speaker 1: have a problem with the way that because it is

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Speaker 1: this built up thing. I mean, people who never watch

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Speaker 1: the show know about the fantasy suite. Yeah, so it

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Speaker 1: implies that you have to wait to take that step

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Speaker 1: with someone until there's a quote deepened up emotional connection,

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Speaker 1: and not everyone works like that. So I do think

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Speaker 1: that it would be amazing to see the show open

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Speaker 1: that up to whenever someone feels like that's the next

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Speaker 1: step quote unquote in their relationship that they want to

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Speaker 1: take with that person, they shouldn't be free to do so.

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Speaker 1: But I think it again because it's with multiple people.

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Speaker 1: So again unlearning shame around sex and quote numbers I

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Speaker 1: think is super important because yeah, if you go and

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Speaker 1: you know, this is say week three, and he's now

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Speaker 1: had sex with five of the girls, you know, how

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Speaker 1: is the fan base going to react to the fact

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Speaker 1: that this man's having sex with several women and that

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Speaker 1: these women are you know, not having the opportunity to

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Speaker 1: having sex with other men and explore their options. But

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Speaker 1: how are they feeling internally knowing that the guy that

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Speaker 1: they're dating is sleeping with other people? And this is

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Speaker 1: where Nichelle in general, I think tends to kind of

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Speaker 1: mirror typical dating in some ways. It just a more transparent,

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Speaker 1: honest way where I I don't think it's a bad thing.

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Speaker 1: It's the person that you're hooking up is also hooking

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Speaker 1: up with other people as long as that's communicated and

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Speaker 1: you're consenting to that. Yeah, it's second that I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna one up you, Rachel. And we don't just

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Speaker 1: see Taylor for like the pre fantasy suite talk. We

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Speaker 1: need you just the entire season to be talking to

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Speaker 1: all of the contestants because and it's so easy for

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Speaker 1: the contestants to get in their head and even if

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Speaker 1: they see the lead making out and just kissing someone,

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Speaker 1: you know, they get it's just this like ball of

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Speaker 1: pent up like tension and anger between them and the

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Speaker 1: lead and the other contestants. We need you, Taylor, to

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Speaker 1: go on. I don't know if you want to. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if you want to deal with that, but

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Speaker 1: you should be talking to the audience too. Listen, get

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Speaker 1: out of your heads. Stop putting these stereotypes on men

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Speaker 1: on women. I'm telling how you guys instead of date

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Speaker 1: cards or an addition to day cards, just like it.

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Speaker 1: Who wants to be a millionaire? You know you can

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Speaker 1: phone friend, you can pull the audience. You should have

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Speaker 1: like a key, a rose, and a day card and

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Speaker 1: you get to the side, which one you want to

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Speaker 1: hand out to them on the one on one if

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Speaker 1: the franchise, I like stols this everybody Mark Mark just

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Speaker 1: tagged this segment because how far would that be? No,

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Speaker 1: I actually don't want a one on one day. I

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Speaker 1: just want to spend the night with him tonight. This

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Speaker 1: is tin into a game of clue, Like, Oh, Taylor

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Speaker 1: in the billiard room with spicy, Let's keep it spicy.

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Speaker 1: We're sick, We're sick of the way that it is.

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Speaker 1: It's the same thing every week. Let's spice it up. Okay.

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Speaker 1: So then there was like damn. I talked about my

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Speaker 1: season you guys, uh, well, Taylor, how are you feeling

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Speaker 1: knowing that it's re airing? And I asked Rachel this too,

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Speaker 1: knowing that you have to, you know, rewatch the memories

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Speaker 1: and stir up some of the old feelings drama. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: at first I was like, God, damn it, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to watch this shit again, Like what this is

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Speaker 1: going to be so retraumatizing, so triggering, and I was

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Speaker 1: really terrified. I was like just filled with anxiety. My

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Speaker 1: heart was racing, had anxiety diary. Yeah, it was just like,

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Speaker 1: I can't do this again, no, and was really terrified

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Speaker 1: that I was going to experience like all the same

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Speaker 1: online bullying, all the same shame, and feel like the

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Speaker 1: entire world hates me all over again. I rewatched the

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Speaker 1: whole season, at least until I left, because I'm self

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Speaker 1: centered in that way, and I was like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we all are. But so I rewatched it and it

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Speaker 1: wasn't this huge, big, scary thing, and I felt like

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Speaker 1: I actually saw it kind of with like a clearer

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Speaker 1: head than I did the first time around. So I

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Speaker 1: definitely felt less anxious knowing that it was going to

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Speaker 1: air because I felt like I could stand by everything

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Speaker 1: that I said and everything that I did. Certainly there's

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Speaker 1: areas for growth, and certainly there's things that I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you know, maybe not the best way to go about things,

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Speaker 1: But there wasn't anything that as I rewatched it, but

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Speaker 1: I was like, wow, I really did wrong, or like wow,

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Speaker 1: the things that people were saying were really true, and

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Speaker 1: you know that wow, like I was such a shitty person,

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Speaker 1: Like I didn't objectively, but I guess also a little

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Speaker 1: bit biasly I didn't feel that way. I think it's

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Speaker 1: interesting because I want to get into why you had

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Speaker 1: anxiety knowing the season was going to air, and what

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Speaker 1: was the motivating force, you know, to give you that feeling,

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Speaker 1: because I was in the house with you. I was there,

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Speaker 1: I said before you came on, I was like, we're

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Speaker 1: friends now, but we weren't friends when the show aired.

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Speaker 1: And I think for you watching it back, you knew

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Speaker 1: exactly what you were doing, you knew the purpose behind it,

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Speaker 1: but we didn't. And you know, watching it back, I

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Speaker 1: feel like there were things that I missed and I

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Speaker 1: didn't see because you know, like when this is Becca,

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Speaker 1: this is Taylor in the house. She knew the words

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Speaker 1: to every single song, like rap song. I told you

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Speaker 1: every lyric. Like when we could listen to it, Taylor

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Speaker 1: was like bopping and we were like, my god, she slept, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I slept a lot. You would like, she was like

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Speaker 1: to herself a lot and then like in confessional. So

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Speaker 1: we also really didn't get to know Taylor, whereas there

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Speaker 1: was Karen, which we'll get into, who was a little

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Speaker 1: bit more outspoken and involved soround going. For me to

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Speaker 1: watch it back, it's like, well, there were so many

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Speaker 1: things I didn't realize about you, Taylor, and so I

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Speaker 1: think it was more eye opening for the people who

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Speaker 1: misjudged you to be honest, to be frank myself included

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Speaker 1: as we went through the season versus what I now

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Speaker 1: know watching back. Yeah, yeah, and I think I mean

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Speaker 1: I felt very alone on my season. I mean I

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Speaker 1: was friends with Vanessa and friends with Danielle and felt

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Speaker 1: really close with both of them. But you know, I

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Speaker 1: didn't feel like I was pretty alone. I felt really

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Speaker 1: incredibly stressed out and overwhelmed and scared. I mean, even

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Speaker 1: watching it back, like the way I spoke, I was

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Speaker 1: going so slow. I was trying so hard to just

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Speaker 1: be like so intentional, to make sure I wasn't saying

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Speaker 1: the wrong thing, to make sure I wasn't hurting anyone's feelings.

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Speaker 1: And you know, yeah, I was either in confessional for

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Speaker 1: like two hours or I was like trying to sleep

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Speaker 1: and trying to you know, catch up, trying to process,

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Speaker 1: trying to have my own time, trying to socialize as well,

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Speaker 1: but also knowing like, holy shit, there's a lot of

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Speaker 1: fucking girls and like we're not all going to get along.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, who am I vibing with more? And like,

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Speaker 1: how do we all navigate this. It was so strange,

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Speaker 1: but I definitely felt like I was pretty alone and

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Speaker 1: a lot of it. I mean, it was me and

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Speaker 1: my producer essentially, and it's such a weird setting. I mean,

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Speaker 1: to begin with having to get your phones taken away

385
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Speaker 1: and you can't have access to emails and talk to

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Speaker 1: your family and friends that you would usually lean on.

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Speaker 1: Then throw in twenty plus other females that some are

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Speaker 1: totally loud and outgoing and feed off of that. And

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Speaker 1: for me, I mean, I feel like I'm pretty loud

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Speaker 1: with my group of friends, but then you get that

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Speaker 1: and I kind of I felt like I shelled up,

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Speaker 1: which I'm sure you can kind of really to where

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Speaker 1: you're like I there's so much going on and so

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00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,800
Speaker 1: much that you're just like soaking in and feed enough

395
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Speaker 1: of that. I didn't know for the first like little bit,

396
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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm just gonna take this all in

397
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Speaker 1: and sit back because it's you just have to figure

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Speaker 1: out how to navigate it. Yeah, And I mean, like

399
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Speaker 1: Rachel said, like with music, I shined, and that for

400
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Speaker 1: me was like with the lack of music and the

401
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Speaker 1: lack of like friends, I felt like I was very

402
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Speaker 1: small and I felt like I was just kind of quiet,

403
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Speaker 1: and you know, I do like to party. I mean

404
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:34,920
Speaker 1: I don't drink, which I think was another thing, like

405
00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 1: a lot of the girls would bond with drinking. And

406
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,600
Speaker 1: and we were a drunk snow though, Taylor, we drank

407
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Speaker 1: a lot like this was before. So that's a thing.

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Speaker 1: I'm so glad you point before the rules And I'm

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00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,399
Speaker 1: really glad you pointed that out because you're right, you

410
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:55,200
Speaker 1: don't drink, and we did and we really bonded. Yeah,

411
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Speaker 1: And but I do like the party, but like there's

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Speaker 1: got to be music for me to party, Like just

413
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Speaker 1: sitting out by the pool drinking, like that's not my thing.

414
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,399
Speaker 1: I'd rather be like, Okay, I'm gonna like take a

415
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 1: time to go in a journal or like to make

416
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,760
Speaker 1: some food, and now there was music, i'd be out

417
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 1: there like wrapping it up again after it. But none

418
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,640
Speaker 1: of that. So I'm like, okay, what can I do? Yeah, yeah,

419
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,159
Speaker 1: but yeah, yeah, that's one thing I feel like, No,

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00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,560
Speaker 1: you know, you watch this season back, and of course

421
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,679
Speaker 1: they have the drama and like the love connections and

422
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:27,920
Speaker 1: they always add in their own sound effects in music.

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Speaker 1: But when you're filming a lot of times, unless someone's talking,

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00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:34,680
Speaker 1: it's dead silent. It's awkward at times, and you don't

425
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:38,040
Speaker 1: no one I think can relate to that or get that,

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Speaker 1: because when you see it on TV it's something totally different.

427
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 1: But yeah, sometimes it's weird whenever, and especially when people

428
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,440
Speaker 1: are fighting and no one wants to talk and it's

429
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 1: just crickets, you're like, or you're drinking and there's always

430
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:52,000
Speaker 1: a song playing in your head. That that was the

431
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 1: thing too, We always had music and rights. It's really

432
00:22:56,800 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 1: I find you very interesting as and I I say

433
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:02,439
Speaker 1: this sometimes and I think it sounds offensive, that it's

434
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 1: true character. We were characters on the show, right, So

435
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:10,280
Speaker 1: I find your character very interesting because I want to

436
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,600
Speaker 1: dive into the way you were perceived on the show,

437
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:16,159
Speaker 1: because I can only speak to what we perceived in

438
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:20,400
Speaker 1: the house, and obviously there's every season where they pen

439
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:24,200
Speaker 1: two people against each other. Now I have talked about

440
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,679
Speaker 1: my Bachelor ignorance prior to coming on the season, I

441
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 1: can see it totally different now. I didn't know about

442
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:32,280
Speaker 1: A two one one before I came. I didn't realize

443
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:35,360
Speaker 1: what was happening in the moment. Now I see it.

444
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 1: So our perception in the house was that, you know,

445
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 1: like you had an issue with Karn, not that Karan

446
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 1: had an issue with you. It was that you had

447
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 1: an issue with Karren. And so I want to talk

448
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:50,360
Speaker 1: about that because now I know it so differently. So

449
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:53,280
Speaker 1: I want you to talk about, like how you feel

450
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 1: about the way you were perceived on the show and

451
00:23:55,320 --> 00:24:01,200
Speaker 1: what was the reality of it. Yeah, so I think

452
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:04,119
Speaker 1: that there definitely was this perception of like Taylor hates

453
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:09,800
Speaker 1: karrin Taylor has a huge issue with Karn and like, no,

454
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:14,680
Speaker 1: I didn't. I never had this like hatred towards her

455
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,159
Speaker 1: in the house, you know, just even to speak to

456
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:21,639
Speaker 1: like me being more quiet, Like I knew how they

457
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:24,960
Speaker 1: could build up drama. I knew how I could potentially

458
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 1: be on the two on one if I was engaging

459
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:30,200
Speaker 1: with this. And my entire thing with her when we

460
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 1: were still in the house and in the mansion was

461
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 1: holy shit, I'm worried about this girl. Like from jump,

462
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 1: I was like, how can I help you? Like you

463
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,960
Speaker 1: said it was heavy drinking, and so I literally was

464
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:45,200
Speaker 1: like taking her off of camera, getting her water and

465
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 1: like going into that caretaker mode and being like not

466
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 1: even really considering myself in this experience, but legit having

467
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:56,680
Speaker 1: like two hour itms like yelling at production being like y'all,

468
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,320
Speaker 1: like this is not okay, Like she shouldn't be like

469
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:05,360
Speaker 1: this intoxicated, and you know, like just feeling really helpless

470
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 1: and feeling like, you know, there were times that she

471
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,200
Speaker 1: would talk to some of us, the other girls, about

472
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 1: you know, wanting to drink less and you know how

473
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,080
Speaker 1: hard it was for her to be there, and like legit,

474
00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 1: I would try to like be there for her and

475
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 1: talk her through this. And I think for me, I

476
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:23,920
Speaker 1: was learning the hard lesson that you can't help someone

477
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,879
Speaker 1: who doesn't want to be helped, and putting myself in

478
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:30,880
Speaker 1: a position where I wasn't necessarily I didn't my responsibility

479
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,719
Speaker 1: wasn't to be there for her in that way. And

480
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 1: you know, I didn't look at this as I'm going

481
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,879
Speaker 1: to go in and just focus on me and just

482
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 1: do me, like I was thinking at the end of

483
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,600
Speaker 1: the day, I'm gonna be walking away with friends from this,

484
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 1: Like I'm it's pretty unlikely I'm going to get engaged

485
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,320
Speaker 1: on here, right, It's pretty unlikely I'm going to get chosen.

486
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,840
Speaker 1: So like, at most, you know, or at least I

487
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,080
Speaker 1: hope I walk away with some good girlfriends, and so

488
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 1: I was trying to make sure that I was, you know,

489
00:25:56,960 --> 00:26:00,160
Speaker 1: being as outgoing as I could. But from there were

490
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,680
Speaker 1: very early on, I mean, Kuren and I were in

491
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:06,680
Speaker 1: the same limo together the first time, really yeah, and

492
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:09,239
Speaker 1: there were like all these little things that were like,

493
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,639
Speaker 1: you know, I look back at it. It was projection

494
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,280
Speaker 1: of insecurity, which I think so many of us probably

495
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:17,760
Speaker 1: did during the first night, in the first few weeks,

496
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 1: but there were so many these weird, like passive aggressive,

497
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:24,359
Speaker 1: just like kind of almost like mean girly comments that

498
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 1: were made that I just like was closing in on

499
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,399
Speaker 1: my shell and was like, oh, just don't react, don't react,

500
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 1: but this is so uncomfortable. Just don't engage, Like, oh,

501
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,160
Speaker 1: just try to be nice and try to be there

502
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:38,560
Speaker 1: for her. And still to this day, I don't have

503
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:41,600
Speaker 1: this like hatred towards her. I mean, women tell all

504
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,320
Speaker 1: was really rough, and I definitely like, you know, that's

505
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:47,560
Speaker 1: something later on we can maybe discussed, but I never

506
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,160
Speaker 1: had this like I need to take her down. Even

507
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:51,639
Speaker 1: on the two on one, I'm just kind of like,

508
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 1: I just want to focus on my relationship with Nick. Meanwhile,

509
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 1: she's like I don't want Taylor to get the rose.

510
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,679
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make sure Taylor doesn't get the rose. Like

511
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,120
Speaker 1: none of what I said was ever to take her

512
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 1: down or that I hated her at her core. Like

513
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 1: I was saying all the same things that everyone else

514
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,720
Speaker 1: was saying in the house, questioning the level of maturity right,

515
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,440
Speaker 1: questioning if she was really there ful for the right reasons.

516
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:17,480
Speaker 1: I was saying the same shit everyone else was saying.

517
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 1: But I just have a lot more maybe attitude and

518
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 1: passion behind. But I think there was a group, Like

519
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 1: I was really cool with karrin So I think there

520
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,560
Speaker 1: was a You're definitely right, you were not alone. There

521
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 1: were a whole I would walk into rooms beccat this

522
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 1: is not a lie and all there would be a

523
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:42,520
Speaker 1: round table discussing Corinne, and I remember asked her and

524
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 1: I were like what the fuck is going on? And

525
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:48,119
Speaker 1: and and like or outside And it wasn't even you

526
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 1: leading that conversation. It was something else. It was like

527
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:54,720
Speaker 1: a whole thing that I did recognize of like trying

528
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 1: to push this, let's talk about Karrine. It was never you,

529
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 1: Taylor leading the conversation. I will definitely say that, no

530
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 1: I wasn't, and even I think, you know, I mean,

531
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:07,640
Speaker 1: I feel like you did have conversations with Corn at

532
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 1: one point about it, and I know Vanessa did even

533
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:12,120
Speaker 1: but I think that the way she interpreted it from

534
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 1: people like you and Vanessa was that you guys were

535
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 1: like bigger sisters in a way. You know, I was

536
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 1: younger than her. I didn't drink the same name as

537
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 1: her little as her little sister, like, which from a

538
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 1: psychological level, I'm just like, Okay, I get it, Like

539
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:30,400
Speaker 1: I have the same name as a little sister. Thought

540
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 1: about that, It's true. Yeah, So I was just kind

541
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:35,399
Speaker 1: of like, yeah, you know, I don't think you know

542
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 1: things coming from me. I tried to put them in

543
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 1: a very gentle way. I mean at the pool party,

544
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 1: you know, I went in just to check on her

545
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 1: because I had literally been liken me get her off

546
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 1: camera because she needs to get some water, she needs

547
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 1: to like lie down. And then I walked in to

548
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 1: just go check on her. And then Sarah comes in

549
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 1: and sas like, girl, you've got to get it together,

550
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 1: and I was like to hold on. So I was

551
00:28:55,560 --> 00:29:00,360
Speaker 1: like Sara, like she's barely awake and just try I mean,

552
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 1: like soft and gentle about it. But I think maybe

553
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 1: that approach like upset her more, and maybe that approach

554
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 1: felt condescending because I was trying to be incredibly thoughtful

555
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,360
Speaker 1: with the words I was using and trying to just

556
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 1: I don't know, I think I was being too patient

557
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 1: with it, whereas other girls, like even Christina, and I

558
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:22,400
Speaker 1: was like, I'm not stupid, like I know what you're doing,

559
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:24,960
Speaker 1: and I don't know. Watching them back, a lot of

560
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,680
Speaker 1: the other girls were just way more direct and way

561
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 1: more in a way actually outspoken about how they felt

562
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 1: about her, whereas mine was predominantly in itms when I

563
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 1: was being asked about it, which is a mistake, yea,

564
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 1: who use those, But again we're all learning. Yeah, I

565
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 1: mean I felt trapped. And that's the thing too. It's like,

566
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 1: you know, it is, at the end of the day,

567
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 1: a reality TV show, and once there's some little sprinkling

568
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 1: of drama, that's what they're going to feed off of

569
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 1: and keep playing that up. And especially for two women

570
00:29:56,320 --> 00:30:00,040
Speaker 1: who are so different and handle, you know, conversation and

571
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 1: interactions completely opposite, of course, that's going to be so

572
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 1: heightened when when it airs back, where do you and

573
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 1: her stand now? Have you guys had a conversation and

574
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 1: hash shit out. No, I mean we had Women's tell

575
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 1: All I think as an opportunity to do that, and

576
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 1: that did not go well whatsoever Paradise the first day.

577
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 1: You know, clearly there was lots of drinking involves that

578
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 1: day as well. But you know, I think she had

579
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 1: made some comments about not shouldn't directly address me, but

580
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:34,240
Speaker 1: was just like, you know, the past was in the

581
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:35,920
Speaker 1: past and we're just gonna move on. We're just kind

582
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 1: of a fun time here, and I was kind of like, Okay, yeah,

583
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 1: I know she's talking about me, so yeah, like I

584
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:42,160
Speaker 1: don't care. I was terrified going on Paradise in the

585
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 1: first place, knowing she was going to be there and

586
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 1: feeling like everyone hated me, So I was just kind

587
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:48,560
Speaker 1: of like, yeah, I don't care, Like I'm not going

588
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:51,560
Speaker 1: to involve myself. I don't care to say anything about

589
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:57,200
Speaker 1: what whatever it is you're doing. So you received a

590
00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 1: lot of heat. Now we're gonna get into a diversity conversation, obviously,

591
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 1: but you received a lot of heat that even I

592
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 1: wasn't aware about that you were receiving at the time

593
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 1: the season aired, and you honestly had to bring to

594
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:19,400
Speaker 1: my attention what was said that triggered some of the

595
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 1: hate that you received that was beyond the normal I

596
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 1: don't like your dress, I don't like your hair. You know,

597
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 1: we all get that kind of stuff. So I want

598
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 1: to talk about it, especially in light of the current

599
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 1: state of our country. It isn't something that we saw

600
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:40,120
Speaker 1: a dressed on Nick's Greatest Seasons ever. And this is

601
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 1: what I love about podcasting because TV is set up

602
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:47,600
Speaker 1: in small increments and commercials and other people you know involved,

603
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:50,720
Speaker 1: But this podcasting, we can just have a free flowing conversation. Yeah,

604
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 1: so I want to delve into that. Yeah. So I

605
00:31:56,120 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 1: think definitely the comments that I received during our season

606
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:06,080
Speaker 1: airing were a bit uncalled for and really inappropriate. And

607
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:07,960
Speaker 1: part of what I tried to say at Women Tell

608
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:11,440
Speaker 1: All to Karin was that the words that she used

609
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 1: gave the fan base permission to use those same words

610
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 1: with me and to attack me in that way. And

611
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 1: you know, I had people shaming me on being a therapist,

612
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 1: shaming me that I literally had someone report me to

613
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 1: the Department of Health of Licensing to report my license,

614
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 1: that I was unprofessional and that I shouldn't be allowed

615
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:37,760
Speaker 1: to be a therapist. So that's why I women saw

616
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 1: all I tried to say. You know, your words had

617
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 1: like real life consequences for me that like, you know,

618
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 1: I wasn't name calling you, I wasn't attacking your career.

619
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,640
Speaker 1: Like I literally was just echoing the same things around

620
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 1: maturity that everyone else was. And it was really hurtful.

621
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 1: I mean I also got a lot of comments about

622
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: being bi racial, about being black, and you know, people

623
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 1: calling me the N word and um viewing me as

624
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 1: this like evil monster that was trying to take down

625
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:13,960
Speaker 1: this poor innocent white girl that I was like, how

626
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 1: am I being? Like, I just I literally couldn't. The

627
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 1: voices were so loud. I just felt like, wow, okay,

628
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 1: I like just can't show my face anywhere, Like I've

629
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 1: felt incredibly small, and I think it just yeah, I

630
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 1: don't know, it was a hard time. What about the

631
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 1: tagline that she used. Yeah, So going on to our

632
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 1: two on one, I mean she had a lot of

633
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 1: like great, you know, uh little taglines and funny things

634
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:54,719
Speaker 1: that she said, Um, yeah, exactly, I'm not that kind

635
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 1: of person. Um, so she definitely has has me be

636
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 1: in an intelligence in that area. Sure, for sure, she knows,

637
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 1: she knows how to do that, not my strong suit.

638
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:06,320
Speaker 1: And yeah, going on the two on one, you know,

639
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:10,399
Speaker 1: she made a comment of no votes for Taylor make

640
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,920
Speaker 1: America quin again, and she had said that twice in

641
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,839
Speaker 1: that episode. And when I rewatched that, you know, this

642
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,320
Speaker 1: was right at the time of the twenty sixteen election

643
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:24,680
Speaker 1: and before going on my like going into my ims,

644
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,719
Speaker 1: going into the one one, you know, it felt like

645
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:31,800
Speaker 1: a lot of my conversations with her were somewhat Trump

646
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 1: like in terms of like feeling manipulated, feeling bulldozed, you

647
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 1: know in Wisconsin, being totally gas lit, like just feeling

648
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:42,000
Speaker 1: like what am I dealing with right now? And where

649
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 1: it felt like, you know, you compare it to pass

650
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 1: two on ones, where it's like, you know, I'm not Chad,

651
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:48,680
Speaker 1: Like I don't think I'm really Alex either, And then

652
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 1: it was like kind of funny of like, you know, okay,

653
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 1: it's like Trump versus Hillary, and I'm like, I don't know,

654
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,840
Speaker 1: but I'm necessarily Hillary here, but like I'm definitely not Trump.

655
00:34:56,880 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 1: And then watching her say that, you know, who knows

656
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 1: if that was something she actually came up with on

657
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,959
Speaker 1: her own or whatever it was, but regardless. That gave

658
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:10,880
Speaker 1: the audience that that that sentiment, right, that tagline spoke

659
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:15,239
Speaker 1: to all those people within our fan base who loved

660
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:18,719
Speaker 1: that campaign, right, who love all of what that stands for.

661
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 1: That statement of make America, make America great again, which

662
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 1: is not for people of color, not for black people,

663
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 1: being used towards me being a woman of color, being biracial,

664
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 1: was just kind of like, whoa, Okay, I don't belong here,

665
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 1: and then I went home. So the fact that I

666
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:38,880
Speaker 1: then went home made it appear as if like, Okay, yeah,

667
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,839
Speaker 1: Taylor was the bad guy. Then Taylor was the one

668
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 1: that wasn't the wrong where then I mean again, it

669
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 1: just felt like, Okay, I don't belong here, like this

670
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:50,560
Speaker 1: is this is not a safe place for me, and

671
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 1: clearly I'm not wanted. So it was rough. I'm sorry

672
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 1: you went through that, and that's still bad that I

673
00:35:58,200 --> 00:35:59,960
Speaker 1: just want to say, that's so bad that we weren't there,

674
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,800
Speaker 1: because at the time, I was like, that's the dumbest

675
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 1: statement I've ever heard, make Korean great Again. And I

676
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,080
Speaker 1: liked krant, you know, I thought it was stupid and

677
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:09,480
Speaker 1: I never thought of how that would make somebody feel

678
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,719
Speaker 1: when that saying is put towards them, and how it

679
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:16,360
Speaker 1: empowered a whole you know, like group of trolls to

680
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:19,839
Speaker 1: attack you. So like, I apologize for not even being

681
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 1: there for you and not even recognizing it. I wasn't

682
00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:27,040
Speaker 1: why I wasn't woke. I don't cry. Well people do

683
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 1: cry here and I'll probably be next. I don't want

684
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 1: to make you grab it. I just I'm telling you, like,

685
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:35,879
Speaker 1: it's perception is just so different watching it back four

686
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:38,480
Speaker 1: years and just conversations you and I have had privately,

687
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:42,920
Speaker 1: and I hate that being another woman of color, I

688
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 1: did not put that together. I just thought it was

689
00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 1: a stupid statement. I was like, that's dumb, but I

690
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,480
Speaker 1: didn't think of the depth of it. And so like, yeah, no,

691
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:53,640
Speaker 1: I mean don't. I don't want to make you cry.

692
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 1: I just feel bad I wasn't there for you. Well,

693
00:36:56,960 --> 00:37:01,360
Speaker 1: I mean I appreciate that, and I like, I understand

694
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 1: why people distance themselves from me. I understand why I didn't,

695
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 1: you know, develop super close relationships with everyone from our season.

696
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 1: I think I think it was hard because the show

697
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 1: becomes a popularity contest and you know, going even my

698
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 1: intro package, you know, I talked about all kinds of things,

699
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:27,080
Speaker 1: and part of what they aired in that was me

700
00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:30,800
Speaker 1: being by racial and struggling feeling like, you know, I

701
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 1: was too white, so black people didn't like me, but

702
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,160
Speaker 1: I was also black, so white people didn't like me,

703
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:39,840
Speaker 1: and this difficulty, you know, with my own racial identity.

704
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 1: And then then I'm also put in that position with

705
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:48,120
Speaker 1: this woman who is twenty four years old, hasn't annie,

706
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:52,320
Speaker 1: is incredibly privileged, apparently runs a multimillion dollar company, and

707
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:55,960
Speaker 1: then telling me that she's going to make America great

708
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 1: again in her own way. That I was just like, wow,

709
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 1: how like it felt very alone. It did feel like,

710
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 1: how is no one else seeing this? And it felt

711
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 1: like we were all on the same page up until

712
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,720
Speaker 1: basically the conversation in Wisconsin where when you actually watched

713
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 1: that episode, she's like talking mad shit about how much

714
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 1: she hates me and it's just gonna go give me

715
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 1: a piece of her mind and then comes up and

716
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 1: gets me, and you know, that conversation I was apologizing

717
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 1: to her. That conversation was a two how we're along

718
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:29,879
Speaker 1: conversation of me literally just trying to echo the same

719
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 1: things that everyone else had said and her basically asking

720
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 1: me straight up, what is emotional intelligence? What am I

721
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:39,680
Speaker 1: talking about? Then me explaining it and then apologizing her,

722
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,800
Speaker 1: and just all these things like I felt so alone,

723
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 1: I felt so like, how was no one else here

724
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,360
Speaker 1: with me right now? And again I guess that it

725
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:52,240
Speaker 1: becomes a popularity contest. We're all going through our own storylines,

726
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:55,319
Speaker 1: We're all focused on ourselves, and you know, definitely made

727
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:57,680
Speaker 1: me want to dismiss myself from the franchise a lot,

728
00:38:57,800 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 1: and you know, I did think fully, I do feel

729
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,439
Speaker 1: like I have strong friendships from the show, but I mean,

730
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 1: it really has felt like a place that like I

731
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 1: don't belong and then I'm not wanted in. So I

732
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 1: appreciate you saying that, Rachel, And like you said, when

733
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:16,560
Speaker 1: it was airing, it was obviously during a very heated year,

734
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 1: and that's what we're fighting ourselves in now. And I think,

735
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:24,399
Speaker 1: you know, even being a fan before I was ever

736
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:26,320
Speaker 1: on the show, it's like you watched the show, you

737
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:28,720
Speaker 1: know you're gonna get the drama and the love story,

738
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:31,520
Speaker 1: but it's for a lot of people it becomes so

739
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 1: much more than that. There's so much more depth and

740
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,680
Speaker 1: it becomes such a personal thing where it has to

741
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:39,879
Speaker 1: tie into politics. And that's why when people are like, oh,

742
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 1: it's a show, like why do you bring politics onto

743
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:44,799
Speaker 1: your podcast or why do you make comments, it's like, well,

744
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:48,920
Speaker 1: everything is tied together somehow, and when you say, you know,

745
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 1: she made a phrase or a comment that ties it

746
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:55,400
Speaker 1: directly into that and it's affecting you in such a

747
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 1: hard way, like how can you not and how can

748
00:39:57,200 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 1: you not address it? And something you brought up about

749
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 1: being biracial and that is who you are, and you

750
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:06,200
Speaker 1: talked about racial identity and you talked about the struggling

751
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:08,680
Speaker 1: and it's it's a very common thing that I think

752
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,160
Speaker 1: that we should talk about more is when you are biracial,

753
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 1: you're told you're not enough for one group and you're

754
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:14,920
Speaker 1: too much for another group, and you're left just in

755
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:20,040
Speaker 1: limbo in between. And we are seeing that we know that,

756
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:23,920
Speaker 1: not saying we know that Matt James is biracial. So

757
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 1: is Tatia. Yeah, and there are a lot of people

758
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:32,320
Speaker 1: of color that are biracial in Batur Nation, a lot.

759
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 1: There's sixteen I just did. I just did all Biracial

760
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,320
Speaker 1: series on the podcast that's Aaron and four part we

761
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:43,759
Speaker 1: just talk about that. Yeah, it's a few people were

762
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:47,840
Speaker 1: not able to make the recording, but it's almost all

763
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:51,640
Speaker 1: people from Bachelor who are half black, half white and

764
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:54,160
Speaker 1: just wanted to create it as a safe space to

765
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 1: be like, this is what being biracial means to us,

766
00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:59,440
Speaker 1: this is how we identify. These have been our struggles.

767
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:01,480
Speaker 1: This is what we love about being biracial. This is

768
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:03,960
Speaker 1: what we want people to know about being biracial. And

769
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:07,240
Speaker 1: there's certainly some common themes within that, but we all

770
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:10,160
Speaker 1: also do have different experiences. But one of the biggest

771
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 1: themes was feeling unseen and feeling unheard on the franchise

772
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:18,840
Speaker 1: and feeling like we were just colored enough to be

773
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:22,040
Speaker 1: on the show. There was a Facebook there's a Facebook

774
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 1: group that we talked about in the third episode that

775
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:29,759
Speaker 1: I was invited into. I was invited into that. Yeah. Yeah.

776
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 1: But like the fact that there was a Facebook group

777
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:34,760
Speaker 1: of like just colored enough to be on the show,

778
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:38,040
Speaker 1: like just goes to show you. So yeah, it was

779
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 1: a really powerful series to record and got feedback from

780
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:43,800
Speaker 1: a lot of people just like that was a really

781
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:46,120
Speaker 1: safe space and that felt really important because a lot

782
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:48,960
Speaker 1: of people who were biracial don't have other people to

783
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 1: share and talk through these things with because I think

784
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 1: for many of us there's internal shame that we have

785
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:59,320
Speaker 1: to process. I mean, I was recently on a show

786
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:02,759
Speaker 1: with a black woman and was asked how I identify

787
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:08,799
Speaker 1: and I recognize afterwards, I was dealing with my own

788
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:13,359
Speaker 1: insecurity of my blackness, and I said, I identify as

789
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:16,440
Speaker 1: by racial because I was scared to own my blackness

790
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 1: and say, oh, I'm yeah, I'm a black woman, of

791
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 1: fear that like no, I would be offending her because

792
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:27,239
Speaker 1: I'm also white and I've had, you know, different privileges

793
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:29,279
Speaker 1: of being light skin that I don't get to say

794
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:33,440
Speaker 1: that I'm a part of this black experience while also

795
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:38,040
Speaker 1: still having experienced plenty of racism on my own. Really

796
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:43,720
Speaker 1: likes it's a journey. No colorism is very very real,

797
00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:46,759
Speaker 1: and it's a we could do a whole podcast and

798
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 1: probably should on it. I'm really happy that you're tackling

799
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:52,880
Speaker 1: this on your podcast, and it's a four part series

800
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:54,920
Speaker 1: and I encourage everybody to listen to it. And I

801
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 1: think it's so it's relevant period because you're dealing with

802
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:02,600
Speaker 1: people in there identity and it's a subject that we

803
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 1: should talk about that we don't enough because we want

804
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:07,400
Speaker 1: to put place people into boxes. But it's relevant in

805
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:10,560
Speaker 1: Bachelor Nation because you're about to get a biracial bachelorette

806
00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:15,319
Speaker 1: and we're getting a biracial bachelor, and I want I'm

807
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 1: very curious as to your take on it because we're

808
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:21,800
Speaker 1: back to the times we're living in. Yeah, we're dealing

809
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:26,880
Speaker 1: with people like Rush Limbaugh calling Kamala Harris oho. We're

810
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 1: dealing with people questioning not just Barack Obama. We dealt

811
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:34,759
Speaker 1: with it in two thousand and eight, questioning where how

812
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:36,840
Speaker 1: he was born and whether he could run for president.

813
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:39,600
Speaker 1: We're dealing with the same thing with Kamala all over again.

814
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:43,239
Speaker 1: And now we're dealing We're going to deal with it

815
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 1: in our own little world of Bachelor Nation with Matt James,

816
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:48,839
Speaker 1: and who knows what people are going to how they're

817
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:51,919
Speaker 1: going to come at him. You're already seeing it. Oh people,

818
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 1: right me, Rachel, are you really happy with Matt James?

819
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:58,919
Speaker 1: I mean, he's bi racial. He's like just colored enough,

820
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:00,920
Speaker 1: is what people are saying. I'm like you, guys, he

821
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 1: identifies as being a black man. He's a black man. Stop.

822
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:09,719
Speaker 1: So all that rant to say, I'm curious as to

823
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 1: how you think the franchise should address with Matt James

824
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 1: this season colorism being biracial, and how they should navigate

825
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:25,000
Speaker 1: his journey being a biracial man, because I think it

826
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:31,720
Speaker 1: is extremely important he's not just black, he's also biracial. Yeah. Yeah,

827
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:34,520
Speaker 1: And to that, he's also been raised by his white mother,

828
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 1: so he has been in predominantly white spaces. From my understanding,

829
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:43,439
Speaker 1: which has also been my experience, I hope that they

830
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:50,439
Speaker 1: do allow ample quality airtime for deeper discussions around race.

831
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:53,120
Speaker 1: We've seen them do it with bullying right at women

832
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 1: tell All. They allowed space for that. I hope that

833
00:44:55,320 --> 00:45:00,239
Speaker 1: throughout this season they actually allow his real conversation to

834
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:05,600
Speaker 1: come up, because I would be surprised if for Matt,

835
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 1: in his dating, he's never had a conversation with someone

836
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,360
Speaker 1: about what has their experience been dating black men? Have

837
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:15,759
Speaker 1: they ever dated a black man? I mean, I'm by

838
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:18,919
Speaker 1: racial and I have that conversation with everyone I date,

839
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:23,399
Speaker 1: whether they're white or they're multiracial, whatever it is. I'm

840
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 1: always like, have you ever dated someone that's looks like

841
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:29,160
Speaker 1: me before? And do you understand how my experiences are

842
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:31,680
Speaker 1: going to be different than your experiences? So I hope

843
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:34,960
Speaker 1: that we get to see some of those conversations. In

844
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 1: terms of casting, you know, I always hope it's a

845
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:40,480
Speaker 1: diverse task, but I also hope that we're not you know,

846
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 1: putting pressure on Matt or making assumptions about what his

847
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 1: dating preferences are. Same for you, even rachel when you

848
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:52,080
Speaker 1: were bachelorette, of people being like, you know, well, she's

849
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 1: gonna pick a white guy, she gonna pick a black guy,

850
00:45:54,239 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 1: like and having this be this huge thing that like

851
00:45:57,280 --> 00:46:00,839
Speaker 1: that means something for the show, like love is love.

852
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:03,399
Speaker 1: Can we not just let people decide who they love

853
00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:06,319
Speaker 1: and not put this expectation that, well, he's a black man,

854
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 1: he's by Rachiel, he has to pick someone who's also

855
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:10,480
Speaker 1: going to be by racial or who's also going to

856
00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 1: be black. Certainly, I hope that they give him plenty of,

857
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 1: you know, fantastic quality options that he will actually experience

858
00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:21,920
Speaker 1: a deeper connection with. But I would be surprised if

859
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 1: there weren't conversation. I mean, I guess maybe I wouldn't

860
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 1: be surprised, but I would like to see conversations around

861
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:30,839
Speaker 1: things like colorism, around the fact that he's grown up

862
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 1: with a white mom and predominantly white spaces and how

863
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:38,240
Speaker 1: that's impacted, you know, his dating preferences, how that's impacted

864
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:41,640
Speaker 1: his own racial identity journey. So I hope, I hope

865
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 1: we see some of that. I agree, and like I

866
00:46:45,719 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 1: just I mean, and these can't be related. But I

867
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 1: go back to, you know, Colton season all of the

868
00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 1: conversation around virginity, and I know, Taylor, you said that

869
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:55,359
Speaker 1: you didn't watch because it would have just I mean,

870
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:58,000
Speaker 1: especially as a sexologists, it would have been like pulling

871
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:01,960
Speaker 1: your hair out, like painful. Yeah, changed the narrative a

872
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:04,760
Speaker 1: little bit, so for me, and you know, of course,

873
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:07,760
Speaker 1: like I and Rachel and I have had this conversation

874
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:09,879
Speaker 1: a couple of months ago, Like I'm learning and even

875
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,680
Speaker 1: just speaking with you both, you know, I'm trying to

876
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:15,560
Speaker 1: put in the work, and I have to understand that

877
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:17,880
Speaker 1: I'm never going to totally know what you girls have

878
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:22,439
Speaker 1: been through and the struggles on a daily basis. I'm

879
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 1: just trying to put in the work and better educate

880
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 1: myself and to even think differently in question things in

881
00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:30,799
Speaker 1: a different way. But God, I think, like if they

882
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:35,680
Speaker 1: can talk about virginity every episode for close to two

883
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:39,000
Speaker 1: hours a couple of seasons ago, we can have these

884
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:44,480
Speaker 1: conversations that carry wait and depth and are like it

885
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:46,839
Speaker 1: is twenty twenty and they need to be had. And

886
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 1: so I hope that you know, yes, baby subsidence the

887
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:54,920
Speaker 1: step in the right direction, having Matt James and coming

888
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:59,319
Speaker 1: out Tasia, but keep adding on to that. You can't

889
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,680
Speaker 1: just say, Okay, we're good, we did our part, check

890
00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:06,000
Speaker 1: the box. It needs to continue. Yeah. Yeah, And I

891
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:10,440
Speaker 1: too hope that it's a balance because one of the

892
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 1: things that you know, in a way frustrated me just

893
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:16,200
Speaker 1: about my intro package was that I feel like most

894
00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:19,840
Speaker 1: of it was about the fact that I'm biracial. And

895
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:25,440
Speaker 1: I hope that, like the storylines that we see from

896
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:30,960
Speaker 1: black people of color on the show, is um is

897
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:34,960
Speaker 1: thorough that the storylines are not just their race, right,

898
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 1: that certainly it's a part of it, And let's give

899
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 1: that air time, Right, Let's have those maybe uncomfortable, deeper,

900
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:45,480
Speaker 1: very real conversations. But let's also know that, like he

901
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:49,480
Speaker 1: likes to play sports and you know, is maybe religious,

902
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:52,240
Speaker 1: whatever whatever it is, right, Like, he's got these other

903
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:55,960
Speaker 1: parts of his life that are just as valid as

904
00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:59,759
Speaker 1: him being a biracial man. Right when he was when

905
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:02,360
Speaker 1: he was rolled out and introduced and announced. I was

906
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 1: very upset because the only things we knew about him

907
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 1: is that he was black, his mother was white, and

908
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:10,040
Speaker 1: his two friends were the most popular white people in

909
00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:12,560
Speaker 1: the franchise. And I was so disappointed because I know

910
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:14,279
Speaker 1: that there's more to him, and I know that there's

911
00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:16,879
Speaker 1: a reason you chose him outside of that. So why

912
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:18,600
Speaker 1: not let the rest of the world see that? And

913
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:21,000
Speaker 1: I hope moving forward, and I've been very vocal about that,

914
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:25,880
Speaker 1: so I'm hoping moving forward we will see more of him. Also,

915
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,040
Speaker 1: to not be a hypocrite, I don't want to continue

916
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:31,359
Speaker 1: to keep talking to you about race, because then we're

917
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:34,399
Speaker 1: only making this podcast about that, even though I will

918
00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:36,360
Speaker 1: say this is going to go down is one of

919
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:38,920
Speaker 1: my favorite podcasts because there's so much to talk to

920
00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:41,920
Speaker 1: you about. I mean, like, we're supposed to be recapping

921
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:46,400
Speaker 1: kind of nixy then, but you're so multifaceted and that

922
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:47,880
Speaker 1: we can talk to you about race, we can talk

923
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:49,480
Speaker 1: to you about mental health, and we can also talk

924
00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:52,000
Speaker 1: to you about sex. So I feel like the one

925
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:55,759
Speaker 1: aspect we haven't really gotten into is mental health, and

926
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 1: so I want to ask you, though being in the

927
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:01,080
Speaker 1: field of mental health and coming onto the show at

928
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:03,640
Speaker 1: the beginning of your career. Do you think that it

929
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:07,560
Speaker 1: was helpful or harmful to you, to me personally or

930
00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:10,680
Speaker 1: to my career. Oh, we can do both. Yeah, so

931
00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:15,520
Speaker 1: I'll say to myself personally, I mean it was very harmful.

932
00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:19,319
Speaker 1: It definitely hurt me a lot. I think I experienced,

933
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:24,840
Speaker 1: like the realist, deepest experience of depression and anxiety that

934
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:29,200
Speaker 1: I ever had after the show. I will say too that,

935
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 1: you know, just to this point, even of us transitioning

936
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:35,600
Speaker 1: into this conversation, that this has been part of my

937
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 1: frustration with talking about the show and being on the

938
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:42,359
Speaker 1: show in general too, because so much of my storyline

939
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 1: was focused on Krin, and her storyline was able to

940
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:50,120
Speaker 1: be you know, her whole life right where she doesn't

941
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:53,080
Speaker 1: have to talk about me in interviews and whatnot. But

942
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:56,319
Speaker 1: that the whole storyline I was given, regardless of having

943
00:50:56,400 --> 00:51:00,560
Speaker 1: all these other you know, dimensions to myself, We're all

944
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:04,600
Speaker 1: focused there. So I do appreciate this um and yeah,

945
00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:09,880
Speaker 1: I will say professionally it was also harmful, but I

946
00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:13,480
Speaker 1: think in the long term helpful, you know, I experience

947
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:16,320
Speaker 1: before our sit has even aired, you know, Jimmy Kimmel

948
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 1: does the whole like run through of some people, and

949
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:22,160
Speaker 1: just the fact that I was a mental health counselor

950
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:24,040
Speaker 1: on the show was like, oh, I don't know if

951
00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 1: you're a mental health counselor, go on the show. I

952
00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:29,319
Speaker 1: think you might need a mental health counselor to your law.

953
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:34,239
Speaker 1: I cannot I roll hard enough and things like that. So,

954
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:36,080
Speaker 1: I mean, I think it did give me. You know,

955
00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 1: it's I'm damned if I do. I'm damned if I don't.

956
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:42,920
Speaker 1: I was twenty two with my master's going into being

957
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:45,880
Speaker 1: a therapist in my own private practice, and I was

958
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:48,839
Speaker 1: either too young enough, I didn't have enough life experience.

959
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:51,160
Speaker 1: I go out and get my life experience. Well that's

960
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:53,879
Speaker 1: not the kind of life experience people wanted. I'm still

961
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:56,800
Speaker 1: not old enough. You know, all these different ways that

962
00:51:56,840 --> 00:52:00,319
Speaker 1: people would try to discredit me, and I think also

963
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:03,600
Speaker 1: being a woman of color, that that's just another struggle

964
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:06,640
Speaker 1: you have to work against. I mean, Kelly on Peter

965
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:09,040
Speaker 1: Season is a lawyer, and you know she's straight upset

966
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:10,920
Speaker 1: in one thing of like I'm too smart for this,

967
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:12,600
Speaker 1: or like I'm really smart, like you should want to

968
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:14,880
Speaker 1: be with me, and no one is thinking that she's

969
00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:20,760
Speaker 1: like condescending or anything like that, and I think mental

970
00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 1: health wise, I mean, the show did help with therapy

971
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:28,239
Speaker 1: for me after the show, but they did help accommodate

972
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 1: with that, and I was good. I found that very

973
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:33,400
Speaker 1: helpful and I was like, thank you, You're supporting me.

974
00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:37,799
Speaker 1: It means a lot, But yeah, I mean it. It

975
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:40,759
Speaker 1: felt like a social experiment going into it, and it

976
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:45,400
Speaker 1: certainly caused me to grapple with my mental health. And

977
00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:48,480
Speaker 1: I do feel like, you know, it's cheesy, but like

978
00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:50,560
Speaker 1: what doesn't Kelly makes you stronger, And so I do

979
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:54,680
Speaker 1: feel like from the show, I'm a stronger person with

980
00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:59,040
Speaker 1: my mental health overall, and also professionally that I show

981
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:03,400
Speaker 1: up in a stronger way because of all of it. Taylor,

982
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:07,040
Speaker 1: I'm so happy we have you on just because, I mean,

983
00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:11,280
Speaker 1: like Rachel said, for so many reasons. But I feel

984
00:53:11,280 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 1: like four contestants going on not even on The Bachelor,

985
00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:19,520
Speaker 1: Bach Shorter Paradise, but going on any TV show or

986
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 1: kind of putting themselves in the public eye. You know,

987
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:25,719
Speaker 1: it's easy to look at it one way and to

988
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:28,520
Speaker 1: see it's shiny. I'm going to get followers, I'm going

989
00:53:28,600 --> 00:53:31,840
Speaker 1: to travel I'm going to get all these great positive things,

990
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:34,839
Speaker 1: and a lot of times it's so easy to overlook

991
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:38,960
Speaker 1: what truly happens. And you know, I feel very blessed

992
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:42,360
Speaker 1: and fortunate to have come from being on The Bachelor

993
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:46,040
Speaker 1: and then the lead as Bacheerette, and to have all

994
00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:48,520
Speaker 1: the experiences and memories that I have from the show.

995
00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:51,239
Speaker 1: But also at the same time, it's it's hard to

996
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:53,319
Speaker 1: talk with other people who haven't got through it when

997
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:56,320
Speaker 1: you do say that you struggled with depression and anxiety,

998
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:59,920
Speaker 1: and it's there are dark things that do come from

999
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:03,680
Speaker 1: the show that people like to overlook, and you know,

1000
00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:06,400
Speaker 1: they don't want to talk about it. It's too difficult,

1001
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:09,279
Speaker 1: it's not fun, it's not a beat. But that's why

1002
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:11,560
Speaker 1: it's so important to have people like you on to

1003
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:14,839
Speaker 1: really actually acknowledge and highlight like that is a very

1004
00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:18,759
Speaker 1: key thing that does come to a lot of contestants

1005
00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:22,319
Speaker 1: who come off the show. So for everyone listening right now,

1006
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 1: I mean, I think I would. I mean for almost

1007
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:27,279
Speaker 1: any of the girlfriends I've made from the show or

1008
00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:28,960
Speaker 1: contestants that I've talked to you, they have struggled with

1009
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:31,680
Speaker 1: it at some point, and so thank you. First for

1010
00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:34,480
Speaker 1: just being so outspoken about it. And I think it's

1011
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:36,600
Speaker 1: important for our listeners too. If anyone is out there

1012
00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:39,319
Speaker 1: thinking of potentially coming on our show or any type

1013
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:43,840
Speaker 1: of show, what advice would you give them prior to actually,

1014
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:47,279
Speaker 1: you know, really thinking everything through and moving forward with

1015
00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:51,520
Speaker 1: that next step. Definitely. Well, first, I'll say, you know,

1016
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:55,560
Speaker 1: I think it was before her season started airing, but

1017
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:59,160
Speaker 1: I had met with McKenna in Vancouver and one of

1018
00:54:59,160 --> 00:55:00,719
Speaker 1: the first things I told old hera I was like,

1019
00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:02,680
Speaker 1: whether you get a great edit or you get a

1020
00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:06,799
Speaker 1: bad edit, I highly encourage you to start therapy right now,

1021
00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:11,640
Speaker 1: I said, before this season starts airing, highly encourage you

1022
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:15,640
Speaker 1: to get a therapist to get on it. And that's

1023
00:55:15,719 --> 00:55:17,560
Speaker 1: what I've said to everyone that I've ever talked to

1024
00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:20,080
Speaker 1: you from the show, is like, I'm totally here for

1025
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:22,239
Speaker 1: you if you want to talk, because it can be

1026
00:55:22,280 --> 00:55:24,160
Speaker 1: a lot to experience. It's a lot to take in

1027
00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:28,360
Speaker 1: your identity changes completely overnight, and whether you go into

1028
00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:32,479
Speaker 1: it wanting that or expecting that, it still is a lot.

1029
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:35,719
Speaker 1: It's still is life prepared for it, not at all.

1030
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:37,640
Speaker 1: And I remember people told me before I went on

1031
00:55:37,680 --> 00:55:40,400
Speaker 1: the show, Oh if anyone's prepared for this, it's you, Taylor,

1032
00:55:40,640 --> 00:55:47,160
Speaker 1: which I was not days. I don't put that pressure

1033
00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:49,600
Speaker 1: on me discause I'm the therapist. Like I'm a real

1034
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:52,879
Speaker 1: person and I'm going to struggle too. And I mean,

1035
00:55:53,760 --> 00:55:55,600
Speaker 1: for so many of the girls on their season, I

1036
00:55:55,600 --> 00:56:00,600
Speaker 1: think this was a tough, a tough experience because you

1037
00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:02,520
Speaker 1: think it's just going to be this fun party on

1038
00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:04,480
Speaker 1: a reality show, but you talk about your feelings a

1039
00:56:04,520 --> 00:56:06,680
Speaker 1: whole lot. And I remember even after her and she's like,

1040
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:08,440
Speaker 1: why am I talking about my feelings so much? She

1041
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:12,839
Speaker 1: gets so much and it's almost kind of become this

1042
00:56:13,239 --> 00:56:16,600
Speaker 1: therapy session that you have in these confessionals. So you know,

1043
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:20,680
Speaker 1: it's it's a lot emotionally to go through. And that's okay.

1044
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:23,120
Speaker 1: You don't have to be this like you know, I

1045
00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:26,040
Speaker 1: can handle everything and take everything on and I'm like this,

1046
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:28,960
Speaker 1: you're not You're a You're not a freaking robot. Um.

1047
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:33,319
Speaker 1: So I definitely would encourage anyone who is going on

1048
00:56:33,360 --> 00:56:35,200
Speaker 1: a show, who's been on a show, who wants to

1049
00:56:35,239 --> 00:56:38,480
Speaker 1: be on a show, um to like reach out and

1050
00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:42,160
Speaker 1: get that extra support just to even process your experience. Right.

1051
00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:43,920
Speaker 1: It doesn't even have to be that you're struggling with

1052
00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:46,080
Speaker 1: feeling depressed or struggling get out of bed. I mean,

1053
00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:49,040
Speaker 1: I've talked with Blake about this after his Paradise experience,

1054
00:56:49,160 --> 00:56:53,000
Speaker 1: and I'm good some people depression. When like he's in

1055
00:56:53,040 --> 00:56:54,920
Speaker 1: therapy and talking about it openland, I'm like, thank you,

1056
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:58,360
Speaker 1: thank you, especially for a guy that's really important. Um

1057
00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:01,960
Speaker 1: talk to Diggy about that my podcast, you know, and

1058
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:05,719
Speaker 1: the stigma around black men in therapy, and it just

1059
00:57:06,239 --> 00:57:08,880
Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be this like I'm struggling with

1060
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:12,399
Speaker 1: my life. I'm so depressed, I need therapy. You can

1061
00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:17,080
Speaker 1: want therapy. You can say I want to better learn

1062
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:20,080
Speaker 1: how to cope with life. I want to have support

1063
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:22,520
Speaker 1: and talking through these things and be able to have

1064
00:57:22,600 --> 00:57:26,160
Speaker 1: the third third person you know, in my life, have

1065
00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:31,160
Speaker 1: this unbiased support and feedback. I think that it can

1066
00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:35,240
Speaker 1: be really beneficial for anyone, regardless if you're in crisis

1067
00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:37,760
Speaker 1: or not. So if you do think you're going to

1068
00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:40,440
Speaker 1: be going into a major life transition, whether that's on

1069
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:43,560
Speaker 1: a show or not, I think starting therapy prior to

1070
00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:45,720
Speaker 1: that can help you build up that rapport so that

1071
00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:48,240
Speaker 1: then when shit does hit the fan or when you

1072
00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 1: are struggling, you already have that relationship built and you

1073
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:56,200
Speaker 1: know you have that support built in. I got the

1074
00:57:56,360 --> 00:58:00,120
Speaker 1: still feeling that is. But honestly, that is some of

1075
00:58:00,640 --> 00:58:05,439
Speaker 1: truly the best advice you could give to anybody. And

1076
00:58:05,440 --> 00:58:09,200
Speaker 1: and you know, I've had couless conversations with friends and

1077
00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:11,240
Speaker 1: and even people who will message me being like, oh,

1078
00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:12,919
Speaker 1: I want to go on the show. What should I do?

1079
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:17,680
Speaker 1: It's think about that and a therapist and being proactive

1080
00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:21,480
Speaker 1: is probably the most beneficial thing you can just do

1081
00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:25,000
Speaker 1: for yourself, for your head, for your heart, for your soul. Um.

1082
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:27,760
Speaker 1: So god, you guys, listen to Taylor. She knows what

1083
00:58:27,800 --> 00:58:34,080
Speaker 1: she's talking about. This book on avoidance. That's what you

1084
00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:38,880
Speaker 1: need to do. You're virtually seeing my therapist right now. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,

1085
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:41,800
Speaker 1: It's like it's a truly book on a point. My gosh,

1086
00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:43,800
Speaker 1: I love that you said you should do it before

1087
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:47,479
Speaker 1: and after, Like, don't stop. I looking back. The only

1088
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:49,200
Speaker 1: way I survived all of it is that I was

1089
00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:52,400
Speaker 1: in therapy a year before, not in preparation for this.

1090
00:58:52,480 --> 00:58:54,880
Speaker 1: I was just already in it from going through my

1091
00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:57,520
Speaker 1: own other relationship. And I'm still in it today. So

1092
00:58:57,560 --> 00:59:00,200
Speaker 1: you're talking five years. It's the only way that I've

1093
00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:03,560
Speaker 1: kept being saying throughout this this whole thing. So that's

1094
00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 1: book book on appointment. Okay, let you go book a

1095
00:59:07,320 --> 00:59:09,400
Speaker 1: consultation because I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna tell you.

1096
00:59:09,480 --> 00:59:11,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna let you have the mic to

1097
00:59:11,560 --> 00:59:13,800
Speaker 1: tell people how they can find you and sign up

1098
00:59:13,840 --> 00:59:16,040
Speaker 1: with you and everything. Because if you weren't sold, if

1099
00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:18,720
Speaker 1: you weren't told before, you're definitely sold after this podcast.

1100
00:59:19,160 --> 00:59:21,280
Speaker 1: Real quick, this is something fun Becca and I love

1101
00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:24,600
Speaker 1: to do. Um. As we're reflecting and you know, we're

1102
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:27,160
Speaker 1: watching the greatest seasons ever and we're reminiscing and all

1103
00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:30,000
Speaker 1: the good, the bad, whatever, we'd like to say, what

1104
00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:34,000
Speaker 1: is your rose and thorn of things? So for Nick's season,

1105
00:59:34,440 --> 00:59:39,840
Speaker 1: what's your rose and what's your thorn? I would say

1106
00:59:39,840 --> 00:59:43,360
Speaker 1: my rose is my friendship with Vanessa. Yeah, you had

1107
00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:47,480
Speaker 1: a really sweet post about her when she got engaged. Yeah. Yeah,

1108
00:59:47,480 --> 00:59:52,200
Speaker 1: her fiance is fantastic. I love them, It's fantastic. Um,

1109
00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:56,280
Speaker 1: definitely like a lifelong friendship. Um, I'd say that's my rose,

1110
00:59:57,080 --> 01:00:08,520
Speaker 1: h my thorn, my thorn of While I was on

1111
01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:11,360
Speaker 1: the season or of after can it be? After? Sure?

1112
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:14,160
Speaker 1: Can be after you, I would say my thorn of

1113
01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:19,880
Speaker 1: this season was in a way having my voice like

1114
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:24,800
Speaker 1: taken away from me, of like allowing my inner voice

1115
01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:29,960
Speaker 1: to become the voices of all the negativity, of the shaming,

1116
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:33,240
Speaker 1: of the bullying. I would say that that was like

1117
01:00:33,280 --> 01:00:36,840
Speaker 1: my thorn of like that's what stung me the most.

1118
01:00:36,840 --> 01:00:40,120
Speaker 1: I think that's what hurt me the most was not

1119
01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:44,920
Speaker 1: standing by my confidence, allowing my sense of self to

1120
01:00:44,960 --> 01:00:53,480
Speaker 1: be completely shook and transformed into what I was being

1121
01:00:53,480 --> 01:01:00,040
Speaker 1: told I was, rather than standing true to who I

1122
01:01:00,120 --> 01:01:03,400
Speaker 1: knew I was. M very well said, it's easy for

1123
01:01:03,440 --> 01:01:06,560
Speaker 1: you for your reality to be warped in the Bachelor

1124
01:01:06,640 --> 01:01:09,680
Speaker 1: bubbles super you know, and like you said, for your

1125
01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:12,880
Speaker 1: voice to be muddled due to all this other the

1126
01:01:12,960 --> 01:01:17,080
Speaker 1: negativity surrounding you know, what people just perceive from a

1127
01:01:17,120 --> 01:01:22,240
Speaker 1: two hour Monday night episode. It's but I after talking

1128
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:23,880
Speaker 1: with you, and I'm so glad that we can finally

1129
01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:28,520
Speaker 1: virtually met Hope in person, face to face. But you know,

1130
01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:31,400
Speaker 1: for anyone listening, I mean, you had the highs and

1131
01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:33,480
Speaker 1: the lows, and you put in the work, and you

1132
01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:36,560
Speaker 1: just seem like you're in such a good, strong place,

1133
01:01:36,800 --> 01:01:40,200
Speaker 1: and so I'm so happy to have you on UM,

1134
01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:43,480
Speaker 1: but we need to know before we let wait, before

1135
01:01:43,520 --> 01:01:45,720
Speaker 1: you do this, before you do this? Can I just

1136
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 1: thought I just thought of this really quickly. Taylor, do

1137
01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:50,400
Speaker 1: you remember that your name was one of like the

1138
01:01:51,040 --> 01:01:55,080
Speaker 1: top two people always called first at Rose ceremonies? Do

1139
01:01:55,120 --> 01:01:58,040
Speaker 1: you remember that? I'm sorry, this is such a great

1140
01:01:58,040 --> 01:02:01,240
Speaker 1: I thought you were always either the first or second

1141
01:02:01,280 --> 01:02:03,840
Speaker 1: person called in Rose ceremonies. It felt like that, like,

1142
01:02:03,880 --> 01:02:07,919
Speaker 1: at least I remember. We would be like, Wow, Nick

1143
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:11,880
Speaker 1: and Taylor bus really be having some intense conversations because

1144
01:02:11,880 --> 01:02:13,760
Speaker 1: you hadn't had a one on one or anything yet,

1145
01:02:13,800 --> 01:02:16,440
Speaker 1: and you'd be like Taylor and we'd be like, WHOA,

1146
01:02:17,320 --> 01:02:20,320
Speaker 1: Taylor's going out with Taylor. I swear you might not

1147
01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:25,320
Speaker 1: remember this, but your name was called at the beginning frequently.

1148
01:02:27,120 --> 01:02:30,120
Speaker 1: I remember, I remember, and Wisconsin was the first time

1149
01:02:30,120 --> 01:02:33,280
Speaker 1: that I was the last, and obviously throughout that conversation.

1150
01:02:33,880 --> 01:02:36,200
Speaker 1: But this is actually kind of validating to hear, because

1151
01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:39,920
Speaker 1: when I watched it back again, you'd only see a

1152
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:41,720
Speaker 1: lot of me and Nick, and so you just hear

1153
01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:44,800
Speaker 1: me being like we have a great connection, we're really

1154
01:02:44,840 --> 01:02:47,480
Speaker 1: getting along. But then I was like, wow, I think

1155
01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:49,360
Speaker 1: I thought he was more into me than he really was,

1156
01:02:49,520 --> 01:02:51,920
Speaker 1: or like I was really excited about this and thought

1157
01:02:51,960 --> 01:02:53,560
Speaker 1: we had it really going, but you didn't even see

1158
01:02:53,560 --> 01:02:55,560
Speaker 1: any that, so I didn't even remember it. But I

1159
01:02:55,640 --> 01:02:58,520
Speaker 1: do remember on group dates, you know, we whole say

1160
01:02:58,560 --> 01:03:01,520
Speaker 1: something sweet about you before he gives the rose to someone.

1161
01:03:01,560 --> 01:03:03,720
Speaker 1: I never got a group rose date, but the things

1162
01:03:03,800 --> 01:03:06,320
Speaker 1: he would say about me, I felt like we're so

1163
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:09,360
Speaker 1: deep and I felt like, damn, he is really enemy.

1164
01:03:09,440 --> 01:03:13,280
Speaker 1: This seems like really quality connection. And then I'd be like,

1165
01:03:13,440 --> 01:03:14,920
Speaker 1: don't get your hopes up. You're not going to get

1166
01:03:14,920 --> 01:03:16,600
Speaker 1: the group day rose, but it would feel like I

1167
01:03:16,680 --> 01:03:19,640
Speaker 1: was going to. And I did feel like we did

1168
01:03:19,720 --> 01:03:22,479
Speaker 1: have a strong connection. And I didn't remember being called

1169
01:03:22,560 --> 01:03:29,240
Speaker 1: first day another sense that's more validating group date roses.

1170
01:03:29,280 --> 01:03:31,680
Speaker 1: Don't we always say this. It's like there's a lot

1171
01:03:31,760 --> 01:03:34,400
Speaker 1: of strategy behind passing out a group date rose. But

1172
01:03:34,560 --> 01:03:38,400
Speaker 1: in the roles ceremony was like Taylor again, I swear

1173
01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:41,200
Speaker 1: I don't know who I was talking to. It has

1174
01:03:41,240 --> 01:03:45,720
Speaker 1: to have been Alexis Whitney Raven or as like yeah,

1175
01:03:45,760 --> 01:03:50,160
Speaker 1: we'd always be like what it felt like. It was

1176
01:03:50,200 --> 01:03:53,120
Speaker 1: great in the beginning because we didn't see Gull's relationships,

1177
01:03:53,160 --> 01:03:55,760
Speaker 1: so we were like, ta, Taylor's out there doing something.

1178
01:03:56,520 --> 01:03:59,520
Speaker 1: And I think that that's also part of what like

1179
01:04:00,560 --> 01:04:04,600
Speaker 1: went into the drama, because she very much felt like,

1180
01:04:04,680 --> 01:04:06,360
Speaker 1: you know, she had him and all this stuff. And

1181
01:04:06,440 --> 01:04:08,560
Speaker 1: so I think not only was I like trying to

1182
01:04:09,680 --> 01:04:13,840
Speaker 1: help her, which maybe felt condescending and like thinking I'm

1183
01:04:13,880 --> 01:04:16,080
Speaker 1: better than her, but then I was also seeming like

1184
01:04:16,200 --> 01:04:20,360
Speaker 1: a threat with Nick. That makes sense. It's crazy how

1185
01:04:20,400 --> 01:04:22,480
Speaker 1: things happened. I would have been a totally different person

1186
01:04:22,560 --> 01:04:24,800
Speaker 1: if I hadn't gotten the first impression rows I know that,

1187
01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:26,640
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like it gives you a

1188
01:04:26,720 --> 01:04:29,480
Speaker 1: different step, like a confidence, and then it makes other

1189
01:04:29,560 --> 01:04:31,920
Speaker 1: people gravitate to you because it's like, oh, you know,

1190
01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:34,760
Speaker 1: she did something right. It would have been totally different

1191
01:04:34,800 --> 01:04:37,400
Speaker 1: from me. So it's crazy how it works out. Okay, sorry,

1192
01:04:37,720 --> 01:04:39,520
Speaker 1: I had that random death and I was like, I

1193
01:04:39,640 --> 01:04:41,840
Speaker 1: have to tell her this because I've never said this

1194
01:04:41,920 --> 01:04:46,520
Speaker 1: to her before. Yeah, I don't know that. So thank you, Taylor,

1195
01:04:46,560 --> 01:04:48,680
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us today. It was

1196
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:50,720
Speaker 1: an absolute pleasure. Like I said, I hoped to meet

1197
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:53,040
Speaker 1: you in person one day very soon. But before we

1198
01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:55,360
Speaker 1: let you go, I think for everyone listening. First, we

1199
01:04:55,480 --> 01:04:57,360
Speaker 1: need to know how to find you if anyone needs

1200
01:04:57,400 --> 01:05:00,400
Speaker 1: to chat with you. You like going to be the

1201
01:05:00,440 --> 01:05:02,440
Speaker 1: go to girl, I think, But also what can we

1202
01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:08,560
Speaker 1: expect to see from you in the future. Yeah, So first,

1203
01:05:08,720 --> 01:05:11,600
Speaker 1: maybe talked about the podcast called Let's Talk About It.

1204
01:05:11,680 --> 01:05:15,240
Speaker 1: You can find that on any major podcast platform. The

1205
01:05:15,320 --> 01:05:18,640
Speaker 1: most recent episodes are around the biracial series, featuring a

1206
01:05:18,680 --> 01:05:22,320
Speaker 1: bunch of people from Bachelor. Not always that's the case.

1207
01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:24,840
Speaker 1: A lot of what the podcast focuses on is mental

1208
01:05:24,880 --> 01:05:27,600
Speaker 1: and sexual health. So have a lot of different sexologists

1209
01:05:27,640 --> 01:05:30,360
Speaker 1: and sex educators on there, and I share some of

1210
01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:34,760
Speaker 1: my own personal experiences and journey with sex. I also

1211
01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:38,200
Speaker 1: just started a Patreon page where I will be doing

1212
01:05:38,760 --> 01:05:41,919
Speaker 1: Bachelor and Bachelorabe breakdowns, which is new for me because

1213
01:05:41,920 --> 01:05:45,840
Speaker 1: I usually don't actually watch the seasons, let alone talk

1214
01:05:45,920 --> 01:05:48,400
Speaker 1: about them and do a little like analysis of it.

1215
01:05:49,160 --> 01:05:52,600
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna be Yeah, I feel enough, We're moved,

1216
01:05:52,640 --> 01:05:54,640
Speaker 1: and I also feel like now that it is actually

1217
01:05:55,080 --> 01:05:56,960
Speaker 1: people that I can kind of see myself in and

1218
01:05:57,120 --> 01:06:00,280
Speaker 1: that I'm excited to watch that, I'm like, Okay, I

1219
01:06:00,360 --> 01:06:03,360
Speaker 1: could put in some energy to this um and appreciate

1220
01:06:03,440 --> 01:06:06,120
Speaker 1: the compensation involved. Um, there's only five dollars a month

1221
01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:09,640
Speaker 1: for it, um, So people can find me on that. Um.

1222
01:06:10,080 --> 01:06:14,920
Speaker 1: And yeah, I'm on Instagram at Taimoka, which is not

1223
01:06:15,040 --> 01:06:19,520
Speaker 1: because I'm bi racial. I always have to clarify this

1224
01:06:19,640 --> 01:06:21,720
Speaker 1: when I share my Instagram because people like, oh, yeah,

1225
01:06:21,800 --> 01:06:23,439
Speaker 1: Moca because you're a Mocha. I'm like, no, I don't

1226
01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:26,760
Speaker 1: call myself Mocha. Uh. Mocha Gel was the name of

1227
01:06:26,840 --> 01:06:28,520
Speaker 1: my first cat and I had like eighteen years and

1228
01:06:28,560 --> 01:06:31,200
Speaker 1: I'm a crazy catale I like combined her names together

1229
01:06:31,240 --> 01:06:35,120
Speaker 1: when I was like, we're Tamoca's cute. But yeah, on

1230
01:06:35,240 --> 01:06:39,040
Speaker 1: Instagram and my bio, I have the links to the podcast,

1231
01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:44,760
Speaker 1: to Patreon, to everything, vibrators, discount codes, everything's in there

1232
01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:48,160
Speaker 1: for people to check out there. So yeah, that's kind

1233
01:06:48,200 --> 01:06:50,560
Speaker 1: of all of where people can find me. I am

1234
01:06:50,640 --> 01:06:53,840
Speaker 1: doing psychotherapy right now, but only with clients in Washington State,

1235
01:06:53,920 --> 01:06:58,000
Speaker 1: and I'm kind of full. That's a good thing to be.

1236
01:06:58,160 --> 01:07:01,880
Speaker 1: Taylor and I've been after listening podcast. We get why listen,

1237
01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:04,320
Speaker 1: but yeah, but it sounds like there might be a

1238
01:07:04,360 --> 01:07:08,400
Speaker 1: waiting list. So Taylor an absolute joy. I knew this

1239
01:07:08,440 --> 01:07:10,120
Speaker 1: would be good, but I didn't know it would be

1240
01:07:10,200 --> 01:07:14,560
Speaker 1: this good, and I'm just glad to know you in

1241
01:07:14,600 --> 01:07:18,120
Speaker 1: a completely different way than from on this season. I

1242
01:07:18,160 --> 01:07:21,120
Speaker 1: can't believe that was four years ago, and I'm happy

1243
01:07:21,240 --> 01:07:23,600
Speaker 1: we had this conversation. I'm happy you and Betty get

1244
01:07:23,680 --> 01:07:27,480
Speaker 1: to meet virtually, yes, And I hope this podcast is

1245
01:07:27,560 --> 01:07:30,480
Speaker 1: very beneficial to our listeners too. I know it was,

1246
01:07:30,760 --> 01:07:33,640
Speaker 1: I know it was, so thank you so much, Taylor. Yeah,

1247
01:07:33,760 --> 01:07:35,520
Speaker 1: thank you guys much for having me. I've loved it,

1248
01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:38,480
Speaker 1: and thank you fantastic and love everything that you're covering

1249
01:07:38,560 --> 01:07:43,040
Speaker 1: on here. So I appreciate that. Oh, thank you. Oh

1250
01:07:43,480 --> 01:07:48,240
Speaker 1: I loved having her on. I really it's I'm so

1251
01:07:48,400 --> 01:07:50,680
Speaker 1: happy I said yes to the podcast because it's episodes

1252
01:07:50,720 --> 01:07:53,120
Speaker 1: like this where it's somebody who I haven't had the

1253
01:07:53,160 --> 01:07:55,600
Speaker 1: pleasure to meet prior to this, that you just have

1254
01:07:55,760 --> 01:08:00,520
Speaker 1: these awesome real life conversations. And one thing that you said, Rachel,

1255
01:08:00,840 --> 01:08:04,280
Speaker 1: you like, I feel like Taylor's the triple threat where

1256
01:08:04,320 --> 01:08:07,040
Speaker 1: we can talk about sex, mental health, we can talk

1257
01:08:07,080 --> 01:08:11,960
Speaker 1: about diversity, everything, and it's it's just such a good

1258
01:08:12,080 --> 01:08:16,280
Speaker 1: mix of these heavy, deep, good real life conversations that

1259
01:08:16,400 --> 01:08:18,360
Speaker 1: I think we all need these days. And so I'm

1260
01:08:18,400 --> 01:08:21,200
Speaker 1: so happy she was able to join us. I am too,

1261
01:08:21,360 --> 01:08:23,479
Speaker 1: And what's so great about it too, is she doesn't

1262
01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:26,360
Speaker 1: hold back. She's not afraid to talk about certain things,

1263
01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:29,280
Speaker 1: so we don't get these cookie cutter answers when it

1264
01:08:29,360 --> 01:08:32,080
Speaker 1: comes to her. She goes deep. And I think that

1265
01:08:32,280 --> 01:08:34,720
Speaker 1: that's what's going to make this podcast so great. And

1266
01:08:35,240 --> 01:08:36,960
Speaker 1: I've said it, I already said it. It's going to

1267
01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:39,200
Speaker 1: be one of the best. In my opinion, it's going

1268
01:08:39,240 --> 01:08:40,920
Speaker 1: to go down as one of the best, just because

1269
01:08:41,960 --> 01:08:45,760
Speaker 1: there was so much depth and richness to this podcast.

1270
01:08:45,920 --> 01:08:48,519
Speaker 1: And even I feel like our listeners, if you watch

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01:08:48,680 --> 01:08:52,400
Speaker 1: Nick season, you will get a new perspective of Taylor

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01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:55,240
Speaker 1: after listening to this podcast, because you didn't necessarily get

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01:08:55,280 --> 01:08:58,599
Speaker 1: it from even watching Greatest Seasons ever, You're gonna get

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01:08:58,640 --> 01:09:01,479
Speaker 1: it from this. And I've learned so much from Taylor

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01:09:01,520 --> 01:09:04,479
Speaker 1: in the last four years, and so I'm appreciative that

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01:09:04,960 --> 01:09:07,960
Speaker 1: you know, to have the opportunity to grow and to

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01:09:08,120 --> 01:09:12,480
Speaker 1: learn each other outside of the Bachelor bubble, And unfortunately

1278
01:09:12,760 --> 01:09:15,560
Speaker 1: that's something that our audience doesn't get to do. You

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01:09:15,680 --> 01:09:18,760
Speaker 1: don't really get to learn us outside of the role

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01:09:18,880 --> 01:09:23,000
Speaker 1: we played on the show. Unless you're you're lucky, and

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01:09:23,160 --> 01:09:26,720
Speaker 1: so I through podcasting, I hope that we continue to

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01:09:26,800 --> 01:09:29,560
Speaker 1: give people that opportunity to learn a different perspective and

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01:09:29,640 --> 01:09:32,480
Speaker 1: a different side of the people you watch on television,

1284
01:09:32,520 --> 01:09:35,519
Speaker 1: because you only get a sneak peek, you know, and

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01:09:35,640 --> 01:09:38,360
Speaker 1: it's yeah, I'm not saying people aren't who they are,

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01:09:38,439 --> 01:09:40,640
Speaker 1: but it's just a certain part of them. That's the

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01:09:40,800 --> 01:09:43,479
Speaker 1: beauty of being able to do the podcast is that

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01:09:44,040 --> 01:09:46,439
Speaker 1: we have the ability to have these conversations and then

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01:09:46,479 --> 01:09:48,640
Speaker 1: to bring it to the world. But I've said it

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01:09:48,880 --> 01:09:52,240
Speaker 1: before and I'll say it again, probably on every podcast,

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01:09:52,439 --> 01:09:56,000
Speaker 1: but you only catch such a small glimpse of what

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01:09:56,120 --> 01:09:58,720
Speaker 1: you see on TV, and people have their villains and

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01:09:58,880 --> 01:10:02,000
Speaker 1: the people that they love to watch, and that's not

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01:10:02,160 --> 01:10:04,120
Speaker 1: the whole picture. And so that's why we get to

1295
01:10:04,160 --> 01:10:07,439
Speaker 1: bring these people on and share them and their beauty

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01:10:07,479 --> 01:10:11,800
Speaker 1: with the world. So absolutely, all right, you guys, thank

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01:10:11,840 --> 01:10:14,080
Speaker 1: you so much for tuning in today. We can't wait

1298
01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:17,240
Speaker 1: for next season to air selfishly, just because I was

1299
01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:20,080
Speaker 1: a part of it next Monday, August thirty first, And

1300
01:10:20,360 --> 01:10:24,240
Speaker 1: you know, you know, we love to always hear from you,

1301
01:10:24,960 --> 01:10:29,559
Speaker 1: good or bad. As I've laid out last week, good

1302
01:10:29,680 --> 01:10:31,880
Speaker 1: or bad we still want to hear from you. We

1303
01:10:32,040 --> 01:10:36,400
Speaker 1: hope you guys are still liking, commenting, messaging us, tuning

1304
01:10:36,479 --> 01:10:38,880
Speaker 1: into what we're putting on our Instagram account, which you

1305
01:10:38,920 --> 01:10:41,920
Speaker 1: can find at Bachelor Happy Hour, or you can message

1306
01:10:42,000 --> 01:10:46,360
Speaker 1: us at Batch Happy Hour on Facebook and Twitter. Last,

1307
01:10:46,400 --> 01:10:48,960
Speaker 1: but not least, don't forget to subscribe to our podcast

1308
01:10:49,080 --> 01:10:52,320
Speaker 1: on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you're listening to this

1309
01:10:52,640 --> 01:10:55,920
Speaker 1: right now. Buy you guys, take care and stay safe.