1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:08,760 Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine. Oh hello, Chelsea, Oh hello. I have an 2 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:11,840 Speaker 1: update from Chloe, who we talked to on our laure 3 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:14,800 Speaker 1: Lynn Jackson episode. She was the one who was having 4 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:18,000 Speaker 1: trouble finding work and she'd kind of like been going 5 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:21,640 Speaker 1: after it for so long and wasn't getting any feedback 6 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:26,840 Speaker 1: or any responses to her resumes. So Chloe says, Laura 7 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: Lyn Jackson is magical. On January third, I started a 8 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,559 Speaker 1: full time job working in media and marketing at a 9 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:36,960 Speaker 1: local indie book publisher. Can you believe it? Thanks for 10 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,880 Speaker 1: reaching out, and big thanks for blessing me with being 11 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:44,360 Speaker 1: seen by Laura Lynn Jackson. It's all happening. Ah. Yes, 12 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:47,000 Speaker 1: it was like she was, like two weeks to the 13 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,159 Speaker 1: day after I shifted my energy, it all started happening. 14 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 1: I thought that was so great. And then she also 15 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 1: said one last thing. Knowing what Laurelyn Jackson is about 16 00:00:56,920 --> 00:01:00,720 Speaker 1: signs angels, I can't help but feel like these angels 17 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 1: helped work some magic for me. My new job is 18 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:08,520 Speaker 1: across the street from a place called Chewies. Oh that's 19 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:13,200 Speaker 1: so cute. That's so sweet. Yeah, just loved that. I 20 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 1: just loved that. So, you know what this stuff about 21 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:20,000 Speaker 1: shifting your energy. It really is true. Works everybody. It works. 22 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 1: And if people don't know what we're talking about, all 23 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:24,240 Speaker 1: the books we're talking about, we'll teach you the way. 24 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: And if you're listening to us and you're like, oh, 25 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 1: what does that mean? What does that mean? It's like, 26 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,119 Speaker 1: you want to bring positivity into your life. You want 27 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:35,959 Speaker 1: to bring inspiration into your life. You want to attract goodness, 28 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,760 Speaker 1: right and high vibes. You don't want to sit around 29 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,000 Speaker 1: being negative, like you just have to think all the 30 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:44,560 Speaker 1: negative thoughts pile up, pile up, and then you are 31 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 1: just like a negative trash bin, Like you are just 32 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 1: attracting that and you're stuck. And so when you start 33 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 1: to flip it and just go, okay, I'm going to 34 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 1: look at this as a positive. Even when things don't 35 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,280 Speaker 1: turn out the way you want go, this is an 36 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,880 Speaker 1: opportunity for growth. This is an opportunity for me not 37 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: to get upset and from me to figure out a 38 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 1: solution without getting angry, without reacting. You'll be amazed at 39 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: how quickly you can grow and how quickly things start 40 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:10,160 Speaker 1: to be easier. It's like life doesn't have to be hard. 41 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:12,720 Speaker 1: We make it hard by our reactions to things, so 42 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:17,080 Speaker 1: you could always choose another way. Well, with that in mind, 43 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:21,079 Speaker 1: we have somebody really exciting joining us today. I have 44 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:24,000 Speaker 1: recommended her book a bunch of times, even on this podcast. 45 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,160 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah. She's celebrating the ten year anniversary of 46 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,679 Speaker 1: her number one New York Times bestseller You Are a Badass, 47 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:32,200 Speaker 1: How to Stop Doubting your Greatness and Start Living an 48 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 1: Awesome Life. And she has a few other books too, 49 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,400 Speaker 1: but we're celebrating the ten year anniversary of this one, 50 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:40,919 Speaker 1: so please welcome New York Times bestselling author and celebrated 51 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 1: voice in the world of self development, Jen Cinchero. Hi, Jen, 52 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:48,440 Speaker 1: thank you so much for having me on. I'm so psyched. 53 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 1: Oh Hi, nice to meet you, Jen, You too, Chelsea. 54 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 1: You are just such a badass. Oh well, yes, well 55 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,080 Speaker 1: you wrote the book on badasses. This is I know 56 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 1: you're coming up on your ten year anniversary, right, yeah, 57 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:05,040 Speaker 1: for your book which was a very big, big hit 58 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 1: and continues to be, which is called You Are a Badass, 59 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,760 Speaker 1: How to Stop Doubting your greatness and Start Living an 60 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:14,679 Speaker 1: Awesome life. And Catherine is very passionate and it has 61 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:19,640 Speaker 1: been very passionate about your book, so it's very inspiring. Yeah, 62 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,359 Speaker 1: I've mentioned it on this podcast and many times we 63 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:24,680 Speaker 1: get a lot of people calling in who are like, 64 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 1: I'm just feeling so lost. I don't know what to 65 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:29,760 Speaker 1: do next. And I know for me, when I was 66 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,359 Speaker 1: at a very similar point in my life to that, 67 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 1: you know, your book was very life changing for me. 68 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:38,800 Speaker 1: So happy to hear that. But Jen, tell us a 69 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:41,280 Speaker 1: little bit about what kind of woke you up, because 70 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 1: I know you were kind of going through a crisis 71 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 1: of sorts right when you decided to take your life 72 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:51,560 Speaker 1: by the balls and make something happen with yourself. Yeah, 73 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,120 Speaker 1: it was like a forty year crisis basically, just like 74 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:55,400 Speaker 1: you know, I was have been a lot of fun. 75 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 1: I was traveling, I was playing music, but I was 76 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:00,880 Speaker 1: just always so broken. I was actually living in a 77 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: garage in an alley in Venice Beach, and I was 78 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 1: like forty years old, and I was just like, seriously, 79 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,800 Speaker 1: this is the best you can do. So, you know, 80 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,800 Speaker 1: it wasn't sort of like the lightning bolt, like I 81 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: almost got hit by a bus and then I finally 82 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:17,240 Speaker 1: got my ship together. But it was more just first 83 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:20,360 Speaker 1: of all, being broke is bull of ring. And second 84 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,239 Speaker 1: of all, I was like, I just had this feeling 85 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,000 Speaker 1: that there was so much more I could be doing 86 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:26,400 Speaker 1: with my life and that I wasn't doing it, and 87 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,560 Speaker 1: that was so much more painful than anything, honestly, and 88 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:33,000 Speaker 1: so I just made the decision. And you know, you 89 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,720 Speaker 1: don't have to wait until your life completely bottoms out 90 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 1: to make a decision to change stuff. So I just 91 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,839 Speaker 1: I made the decision. I started reading all the self 92 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,120 Speaker 1: help books. I went to all the any seminar. I 93 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 1: was there with like my little name tech high five 94 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:50,279 Speaker 1: in people telling them they're awesome, hugging all these weird strangers, 95 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:53,160 Speaker 1: Like I didn't care. Whatever I had to do, I 96 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:56,240 Speaker 1: did it. And then in that process, you know, I 97 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 1: had read every self help book under the sun. I 98 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I could write a any one. No 99 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,920 Speaker 1: one's written a funny one. Where's the one with all 100 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,599 Speaker 1: the curses? And like, can write stories making fun of 101 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 1: my family and stuff like that. So that's that's sort 102 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,479 Speaker 1: of what led to the idea, because I was a 103 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:12,320 Speaker 1: writer already. I broke right. And then what happened after that? 104 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 1: You just started writing a book. I hired a coach, 105 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 1: and I was reading the books, and I started my 106 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:22,840 Speaker 1: own online life coaching business, started making a lot of 107 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:26,600 Speaker 1: money and really figured that if I could crack the code, 108 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,240 Speaker 1: like because really I was so deeply immersed in a 109 00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:32,720 Speaker 1: poverty consciousness and it was such a part of my identity, 110 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,360 Speaker 1: and I was like, if I can get my act together, 111 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:39,720 Speaker 1: anybody can. Like I was just so white knuckling it, 112 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,839 Speaker 1: you know, fighting for like, oh, I can't make money, 113 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:43,719 Speaker 1: you know, I'm living in a garage of my forties. 114 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 1: Like I was proving it all the time. So I 115 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:48,560 Speaker 1: was like, Okay, my story was so deep and so 116 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 1: boring and lasted so long that I knew I could 117 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:53,440 Speaker 1: tell that the people how to do it. So that's 118 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,000 Speaker 1: that's sort of what inspired me writing the book. And 119 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:59,039 Speaker 1: then it just took off. It was sort of a 120 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 1: slow build. I call it yellow Snowball because it just 121 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,839 Speaker 1: kept getting bigger and bigger. And we didn't make it 122 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,240 Speaker 1: onto the New York Times list until three years after 123 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:08,839 Speaker 1: the book was out, and it's stayed off like five years. 124 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:13,280 Speaker 1: It just keeps growing. It's incredible. Wow, that's incredible. So 125 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 1: you talk a lot about manifestation, but you also talk 126 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 1: about doing all of the work that is needed in 127 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:22,800 Speaker 1: order to manifest something and which is I think a 128 00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 1: good area to start talking about as well, because I 129 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,680 Speaker 1: think a lot of people think, Okay, if I manifested, 130 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,400 Speaker 1: I think it's going to happen. Like it's not a 131 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:32,760 Speaker 1: magic trick. You actually have to move towards that goal, right, 132 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,040 Speaker 1: and you gotta do a lot of stuff that scares 133 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,680 Speaker 1: the crap out of you. So that really is sort 134 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 1: of the you know, the teachings, it's all the things. 135 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:45,039 Speaker 1: It's the meditating and getting quiet and allowing universal intelligence 136 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:48,159 Speaker 1: to lead the way and follow your intuition instead of 137 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 1: following your mindset, which is what got you where you 138 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 1: are right now. So it really is about thinking outside 139 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 1: the box instead of saying things like I can't afford it, 140 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:00,479 Speaker 1: I'm too broke, you know, to sort of shift it 141 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:03,480 Speaker 1: to money flows to me easily and freely, which is 142 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,919 Speaker 1: what I kept saying over and over even though I 143 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:09,040 Speaker 1: was still living in the garage. But it's about opening 144 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 1: up to the greater possibility instead of staying with your 145 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:15,760 Speaker 1: blinders on. And then opportunities come your way that have 146 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:19,880 Speaker 1: been there all along. But then you're like, oh, maybe 147 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,040 Speaker 1: I should hire that coach who charges one a third 148 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:25,800 Speaker 1: of my annual income. You know, then when you start 149 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 1: to shift your mindset the possibilities that arise, you don't 150 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,960 Speaker 1: suddenly excuse your way out of them. You start to 151 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 1: figure out how you're going to figure it out and 152 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 1: make it happen. And how has your life changed since 153 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:41,200 Speaker 1: you were forty? Oh my god, I now have a 154 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:44,120 Speaker 1: garage instead of living it. It's been so much fun. 155 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,480 Speaker 1: I mean, I've written three more books in the Badass brand. 156 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:51,160 Speaker 1: I've been traveling the world and helping wake people up. 157 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: You know, it's so much fun to really be able 158 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,360 Speaker 1: to help people live their one and only life on 159 00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 1: planet Earth and am much more satisfied and fun way. 160 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,040 Speaker 1: So it's just it's been awesome. Yeah, it is a 161 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,440 Speaker 1: real gift to be able to like inspire people and 162 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,800 Speaker 1: lift them up out of their depression or negative space 163 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:11,200 Speaker 1: that they're in and be like, come on, you can 164 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 1: get the ball rolling in a different direction. And I 165 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 1: think it just takes you know, sometimes you can't get 166 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,080 Speaker 1: that from within. Sometimes you do need somebody else to 167 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 1: kick you in the ass before you understand that you 168 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 1: need to kick yourself in the ass to keep things moving. 169 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 1: Because there's always a choice about how we're going to 170 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,640 Speaker 1: move forward. And if we're going to accept our circumstances 171 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:30,680 Speaker 1: or we're going to do everything we can to change them, 172 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,800 Speaker 1: right exactly, you have to have ambition about what your 173 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 1: future is going to be. Yeah, And I think what 174 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:39,080 Speaker 1: you said, like do whatever it takes like that really 175 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 1: is sort of you know, we all get to a 176 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 1: certain point and then we freak out because it's too 177 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:46,439 Speaker 1: expensive or we might look stupid. And when you've made 178 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:49,640 Speaker 1: that decision that you're not screwing around anymore, you run 179 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,439 Speaker 1: straight towards the thing that scares the crap out of 180 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,480 Speaker 1: you the most. And I really feel like that makes 181 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 1: all the difference in the world. And I also think, honestly, 182 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,640 Speaker 1: like what you're doing, and you know, doing it with 183 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:02,160 Speaker 1: some comedy and some levity, I feel like that opens 184 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,600 Speaker 1: it up to a whole new audience who wouldn't touch 185 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,199 Speaker 1: this kind of stuff with a ten foot pole. So 186 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:09,520 Speaker 1: that was part of my goal too. Yeah, I think 187 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:13,480 Speaker 1: that's so important for someone who might be just dipping 188 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:17,160 Speaker 1: their toe into this water, like reading books. I know, Jen, 189 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,600 Speaker 1: you've talked about like thinking Grow Rich and these other 190 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:22,840 Speaker 1: like kind of more old school self help books, but 191 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:26,720 Speaker 1: constantly filling your mind with something that is going to 192 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,960 Speaker 1: raise your frequency is so hugely helpful. I know something 193 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:34,120 Speaker 1: both of you do. Yeah, it's important because it's easy 194 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 1: to sit and watch a dumb show. That's easy. It's 195 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:38,360 Speaker 1: better to watch something you don't know anything about, like 196 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,240 Speaker 1: a documentary or you know, I watched this full Swing 197 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 1: golf documentary. I can't stand golf, but I'm like, well 198 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:47,160 Speaker 1: that's better than watching some fucking stupid drama about you 199 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,400 Speaker 1: know what I mean. At least I'm going to learn 200 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,480 Speaker 1: about golf. Like maybe I'll need to know something about 201 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:52,520 Speaker 1: golf one day. Hopefully I don't ever need to know 202 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:55,199 Speaker 1: anything about it. But you know, all of those things, 203 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,240 Speaker 1: it's like you make choices about how to like fill 204 00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:59,719 Speaker 1: your cup more right, my cup of knowledge, Like it's 205 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 1: so important for me to always be learning and to 206 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,600 Speaker 1: always be leaning something. I read three fiction books when 207 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,080 Speaker 1: I got to Whistler this year, and I was like, 208 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:09,360 Speaker 1: that's enough, Okay, you had your cake, and now it's 209 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,360 Speaker 1: time to do some real work. Like the next book 210 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:15,199 Speaker 1: has to be, you know, like a serious nonfiction historical 211 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 1: Like I have put so much pressure on myself. But 212 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:20,200 Speaker 1: it's like their argument about not putting too much pressure 213 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,760 Speaker 1: on or not putting enough pressure on yourself, you know, 214 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:26,040 Speaker 1: like we do have to pressure ourselves. Everything comes from us, 215 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:30,439 Speaker 1: Everything comes from within. And when you are not trying 216 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:35,880 Speaker 1: to evolve or learn, then you kind of are stagnant 217 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,720 Speaker 1: and you kind of are stuck and you're just doing 218 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,880 Speaker 1: the things that you like to do all the time. 219 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:43,200 Speaker 1: It's like that should be a huge part of your life, 220 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,000 Speaker 1: doing things you like to do. But it's also so 221 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:49,680 Speaker 1: beneficial to constantly be challenging and learning. Like my niece 222 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,280 Speaker 1: was up here and she was talking about Martin Luther 223 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 1: and Lutheranism and how, you know, the Protestant Church and 224 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,320 Speaker 1: how it was created. And I was like, huh, I 225 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 1: don't remember that name. And I must have missed that 226 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:03,280 Speaker 1: day or week or month about Lutheranism and Martin Luther. 227 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:05,520 Speaker 1: And she told me all about it, you know, and 228 00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 1: then I got a book. I'm like, all right, my 229 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,640 Speaker 1: eighteen year old niece just schooled me on Martin Luther. 230 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,360 Speaker 1: And I'm like, okay, great motivating, Like she just motivated 231 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 1: me to go read a book about Martin Luther, so 232 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,080 Speaker 1: now I know what the fuck I'm talking about. And 233 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 1: that feels so good to like, the knowledge is power 234 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:22,120 Speaker 1: more knowledge, more power, more growth. Well, and like you said, 235 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:25,600 Speaker 1: when you fill your cup, it can overflow onto the 236 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:30,080 Speaker 1: people around you with knowledge, with brightness, with lightness, all that. Yeah, 237 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,760 Speaker 1: I call it going to the spiritual gym. Like you 238 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:34,480 Speaker 1: don't get to get in shape and then stay in shape, 239 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:39,600 Speaker 1: like you gotta keep exercising the mindset muscle. So absolutely, absolutely, 240 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,160 Speaker 1: and the exercise of meditation, this comes up all the time, 241 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,040 Speaker 1: how boring it is, or people I don't think they're 242 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,360 Speaker 1: doing it well because their thoughts are moving. It's like, 243 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:48,880 Speaker 1: it's okay if your thoughts are moving. If you can't 244 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,520 Speaker 1: control your thoughts and you can't be completely blank, that's okay. 245 00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:56,319 Speaker 1: It's the act of the meditation cumulatively that adds to you, 246 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:58,440 Speaker 1: like that brings something. You're setting a certain amount of 247 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:01,439 Speaker 1: time aside every morning to be with yourself. That's something 248 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:04,240 Speaker 1: that's not nothing, regardless of whether you think you're doing 249 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,880 Speaker 1: it well or not, because there isn't really a measure 250 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:09,440 Speaker 1: of that either. And what other little tricks do you 251 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,439 Speaker 1: have up your sleeve, things that you do as a 252 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:15,080 Speaker 1: part of your daily routine. Let's see, I'm big hiker, 253 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:18,680 Speaker 1: so getting outside and moving is always a great energy 254 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 1: shifter for me. Music definitely. When I was working on this, 255 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,320 Speaker 1: I had to put a moratorium on listening to Neil 256 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,319 Speaker 1: Young because a lot of Neil but he's so fucking depressing, 257 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,800 Speaker 1: and it was so depressing. I know. I have a 258 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:31,880 Speaker 1: Neil Young playlist too, and sometimes I'm like, no, I'm 259 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:34,240 Speaker 1: going to kill myself. It's like, yeah, I put on 260 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,240 Speaker 1: Paul Simon to feel good and then Neil Young pops 261 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:37,880 Speaker 1: up and I'm like, no, no, no no, it's too dark 262 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,160 Speaker 1: to get chick done here. Yeah, so it was no 263 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,800 Speaker 1: Neil Young. But like you know, music that pumps you up, 264 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,640 Speaker 1: hanging out with people who inspire you is great. Listening 265 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,200 Speaker 1: to podcasts like this, you know, just but you gotta 266 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,080 Speaker 1: have it down. You gotta have a routine down. You 267 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,120 Speaker 1: can't just sort of wing it every morning. I think 268 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 1: it's really important to know when you're meditating, to know 269 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,920 Speaker 1: where you're meditating, to know, you know, have your playlist, 270 00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,840 Speaker 1: have your little routine. If you read a book for 271 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,160 Speaker 1: like five minutes every morning, you got to make it 272 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,800 Speaker 1: like a gym workout, because otherwise you won't do it. 273 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:07,560 Speaker 1: And then you know, then you wake up at ninety 274 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 1: with your teeth in a cup and you're like, what 275 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:10,800 Speaker 1: happened to my life? I was going to be so 276 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,480 Speaker 1: oftme so, and what can you think of it? As 277 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:16,240 Speaker 1: far as you're life coaching. Are there any examples of 278 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:19,720 Speaker 1: really inspiring transformations that you were able to see in 279 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:23,160 Speaker 1: another person? Oh? Yeah, so so many. One of the 280 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,000 Speaker 1: things I love that has been coming up a lot 281 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:29,360 Speaker 1: is people with money. I think. I think money is 282 00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 1: so interesting and because I studied it so in depth 283 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,400 Speaker 1: and because I really had such a massive transformation around 284 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,960 Speaker 1: and I'm a little obsessed by it and that whole 285 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:41,559 Speaker 1: concept that money is currency and currency is energy. So 286 00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:44,800 Speaker 1: money is just an energetic exchange between people. And when 287 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 1: you work the WICKEDI woo and like meditate and get 288 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:54,240 Speaker 1: in touch with source and focus on abundance and being 289 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,440 Speaker 1: in the flow energetically with money, which really is what 290 00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,199 Speaker 1: it's all about. That's what the mantras are about. And 291 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,760 Speaker 1: that's why you don't walk around saying I can't afford it, 292 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:04,240 Speaker 1: and you say money flows to me easily and freely. 293 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:08,959 Speaker 1: That's about that frequency. And I can't tell you how 294 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:14,280 Speaker 1: many clients of mine have had stories about needing an 295 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:16,800 Speaker 1: exact amount of money this one guy that I just 296 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:19,120 Speaker 1: talked to you had a business that tanked and he 297 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:22,320 Speaker 1: needed two hundred and forty nine thousand dollars to sort 298 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:25,440 Speaker 1: of carry his lifestyle over and to start to launch 299 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:28,400 Speaker 1: his new business. And that amount of money came in 300 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:32,080 Speaker 1: out of the clear blue sky, just so unexpected, and 301 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,040 Speaker 1: it was from an old business that he forgot that 302 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,080 Speaker 1: he was closing down. But it was the exact amount 303 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:37,560 Speaker 1: of money. And this happens all the time when people 304 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,600 Speaker 1: need to pay their rent or you know whatever. It is. 305 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:42,840 Speaker 1: So the energy that you put on money and the 306 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,680 Speaker 1: focus of the specifics it comes in all the time, 307 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,320 Speaker 1: which is really exciting. I had a really similar experience 308 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:52,760 Speaker 1: not long ago. I had a job that was supposed 309 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:55,520 Speaker 1: to pay me this like a very weirdly specific amount 310 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 1: of money, and I wound up leaving that job because 311 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,480 Speaker 1: the fit wasn't right, the energy was bad, it was 312 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:04,080 Speaker 1: a bit toxic, etc. And I felt like it was 313 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 1: the right thing for me to leave that job. And 314 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:10,640 Speaker 1: when I went on to the next job, I felt 315 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:13,120 Speaker 1: this sort of confirmation that there had been the right choice, 316 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,800 Speaker 1: because I wound up getting a bonus of exactly that 317 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:19,400 Speaker 1: same amount of money for the next thing that I 318 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,320 Speaker 1: wound up doing, and it just felt a little bit 319 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,960 Speaker 1: like a nod from the universe of like you did 320 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,160 Speaker 1: the right thing. And what was one of the most 321 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,000 Speaker 1: impactful things for you, Catherine when you read the book Originally, 322 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:34,000 Speaker 1: I think having mantras and having those sorts of things 323 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 1: were really helpful for me. And there was a time 324 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,080 Speaker 1: in the beginning where it felt like I was faking it, 325 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,640 Speaker 1: Like it felt, you know, I was coming from a 326 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 1: place where there was some self deprecating humor, this sort 327 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:49,640 Speaker 1: of self talk stuff, and it wasn't fun for anyone 328 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:51,920 Speaker 1: else to hear it. It also wasn't fun for me. 329 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:56,640 Speaker 1: And so reading your book talked about like, even if 330 00:15:56,680 --> 00:16:00,640 Speaker 1: it feels like you're totally faking it, changing the language 331 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,360 Speaker 1: around how you talk to yourself. You know, it starts 332 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 1: with you have the thought or you say the thing 333 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:09,800 Speaker 1: that's derogatory or negative, and then you switch and you 334 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,680 Speaker 1: might say this thing that feels so out of character, 335 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,240 Speaker 1: whether it's about beauty, or whether it's about positivity or 336 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:20,080 Speaker 1: how successful you are or money. Saying to yourself something 337 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:24,400 Speaker 1: different it feels very difficult at first, but then after 338 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:27,840 Speaker 1: a while it becomes such a habit and it raises 339 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,320 Speaker 1: your energy, Like it just makes you feel so much 340 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:33,520 Speaker 1: better to talk about yourself, to talk about the way 341 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,000 Speaker 1: you live your life in a positive way that it 342 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,680 Speaker 1: changes everything around you. It changes how people react to you, 343 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,720 Speaker 1: It changes the sort of opportunities that come to you. 344 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 1: It changes just really how you feel on a really 345 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,000 Speaker 1: deep level. And that was huge. Yeah, And it's like 346 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,280 Speaker 1: a job. It's a full time job to keep yourself 347 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:54,520 Speaker 1: and your vibration high. Yes, it's active work. It's not 348 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 1: like you can just fix yourself and like you go 349 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 1: to therapy and you're done, or you learn how to meditate, 350 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:01,640 Speaker 1: but you're done with that too, Like yeah, no, you 351 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:05,159 Speaker 1: have to actively constantly bring yourself up right, you know, 352 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:08,720 Speaker 1: and keep yourself there. Yeah, and you know, and you know, 353 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,960 Speaker 1: the self help role gets a lot of shade for 354 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,760 Speaker 1: being like, yeah, you're gonna be all Pollyanna, like somebody 355 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,399 Speaker 1: runs over your foot and you're supposed to be in 356 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:16,960 Speaker 1: a good mood about it. You know. It's not about 357 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,560 Speaker 1: not being human and not having emotions and not having 358 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,600 Speaker 1: temper tantrums when freaking out and pity parties and all that, 359 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,600 Speaker 1: But it's about not identifying with that and not staying 360 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:29,480 Speaker 1: there and not feeding the beast and dragging it through 361 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,520 Speaker 1: the mud forever. You know, it's about feeling your feelings 362 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,240 Speaker 1: and then making conscious choices on where you're going to 363 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:38,880 Speaker 1: place your focus moving forward. Yeah, and also not being 364 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,800 Speaker 1: a victim. You know, I can imagine that you must 365 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 1: have felt like a victim for a long time living 366 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,720 Speaker 1: in a garage, But like, there isn't a victim. We're 367 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,520 Speaker 1: not victims. Like, we have the ability to pull ourselves 368 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:51,359 Speaker 1: out of anything. So when you're in that victim state 369 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:55,160 Speaker 1: of mind and you're blaming everybody else for everything that's 370 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,880 Speaker 1: going on in your life, like, then you are stuck. 371 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:01,400 Speaker 1: You have to take yourself out, take responsibility for your 372 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:05,960 Speaker 1: own actions and behave like a fucking queen. Behave like 373 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,280 Speaker 1: you want to be seen and like you want to 374 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:12,119 Speaker 1: see yourself, and that means raising it up, like, Okay, 375 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,360 Speaker 1: I only have the power to take care of myself. 376 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,600 Speaker 1: You know, I used to be such a victim mentality. 377 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,040 Speaker 1: I would be broken. I would blame this person and 378 00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:21,119 Speaker 1: that person. It's like you're broke because you're waiting tables 379 00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 1: and you don't save any money. That's why you're broke. 380 00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:24,679 Speaker 1: That's why you have to ask for loans from your 381 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:27,040 Speaker 1: family every year when I was in my twenties, you know, 382 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,080 Speaker 1: and if they didn't want to give me money, I'd 383 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:32,280 Speaker 1: be mad at them. I'd be like, oh, how can 384 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,560 Speaker 1: you not help me? It's like what like it was 385 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,879 Speaker 1: just such an immature state of mind, you know. So 386 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,520 Speaker 1: every one of us is a queen, okay, And I'm 387 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:42,359 Speaker 1: talking to all the gay men out there too. You 388 00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:45,359 Speaker 1: guys are queens with us, okay. So, Katherine, what do 389 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,320 Speaker 1: we have in store for us today? I think a 390 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,800 Speaker 1: lot of stuff that is right up both of your alleys. 391 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,359 Speaker 1: We have a question about meditation, which I think is 392 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:57,160 Speaker 1: really good and solid. We have some self love stuff, 393 00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:00,919 Speaker 1: some stuff around how people feel about them, how do 394 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:03,560 Speaker 1: I change my life? Stuff. But let's take a quick 395 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:09,720 Speaker 1: break and we'll be right back with Jen and Chelsea. 396 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,920 Speaker 1: And we're back. We're back, So, Jen, we have people 397 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,639 Speaker 1: right in. We also have callers who will be joining 398 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:20,359 Speaker 1: us as well. But I wanted to start with this question, 399 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:23,440 Speaker 1: and I thought it was very sweet and very honest, 400 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,119 Speaker 1: Drew says, Dear Chelsea, My question is not related to 401 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,160 Speaker 1: any specific problem I'm enduring or a situation i'm dealing 402 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,720 Speaker 1: with It's general and broad, and I'm afraid it might 403 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:37,320 Speaker 1: sound dumb. But what is meditation? You talk about it 404 00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,639 Speaker 1: all the time and how transformative it's been for you. 405 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,200 Speaker 1: I feel like I need a transformation too, but I'm 406 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,080 Speaker 1: not sure where to start. Do I download Headspace and 407 00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:47,480 Speaker 1: just start listening to their recordings? Do I just sit 408 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,560 Speaker 1: in silence for a few minutes? What do you think 409 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,200 Speaker 1: about when you meditate? How do you do it? Thanks 410 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,200 Speaker 1: for being a source of humor, advice and love for 411 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:57,040 Speaker 1: millions of people. I genuinely can't explain how iconic and 412 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:00,520 Speaker 1: important you are. Please keep doing you, Drew. I would 413 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,800 Speaker 1: say that meditation is whatever works for you. Yes, download Headspace. 414 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:07,280 Speaker 1: Start there. That's very pedestrian, right, like, you can get 415 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,480 Speaker 1: into it. It's clear, it's guided. It helps you understand 416 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:14,879 Speaker 1: what you're doing. And the idea of meditation is to 417 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,640 Speaker 1: drop all of your thoughts. But that's the goal. That's 418 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,680 Speaker 1: not always the act, you know what I mean, It's 419 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,800 Speaker 1: hard for us to drop our thoughts. The goal of 420 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,480 Speaker 1: meditation is to be focusing on your breath, to be 421 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,920 Speaker 1: envisioning the thing that makes you calm down and focus 422 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,119 Speaker 1: on your in and out breath a lot. You know, 423 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:34,800 Speaker 1: there's different forms of meditation, but to just get into it. Yeah, 424 00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:36,880 Speaker 1: the idea that you think you need it means you do. 425 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:40,359 Speaker 1: Everyone can benefit from meditation, and many people do it 426 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:43,080 Speaker 1: by sitting alone without any guidance. I don't. I have 427 00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:46,159 Speaker 1: the Chopra app, which I like because there are classes 428 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,359 Speaker 1: and series, so I can do like a class for 429 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,840 Speaker 1: ten days and every morning it's twenty minutes on you 430 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:54,760 Speaker 1: letting go or a spiritual awakening or whatever you choose. 431 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:58,359 Speaker 1: But headspace is probably the easiest way to get into meditation, 432 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,920 Speaker 1: I would say. So that's a great start, and then 433 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,520 Speaker 1: you decide what you like. You sample a bunch. You know, 434 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,920 Speaker 1: you can try calm, you can try the Chopra app, 435 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,679 Speaker 1: you can try at our toll, you can try like 436 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,639 Speaker 1: all these different kinds of ways to do it. And 437 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,480 Speaker 1: it's an important gift to give to yourself because it's 438 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,040 Speaker 1: forcing you to sit still, and most of us are 439 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:20,040 Speaker 1: not doing that. You know, we're not sitting still without 440 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 1: watching TV or reading a book or working on something 441 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,240 Speaker 1: we were sitting. We're never sitting still alone with our thoughts. 442 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,199 Speaker 1: And the idea of meditation is to drop your thoughts 443 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,360 Speaker 1: to have your thoughts just stay out of the way. 444 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:33,800 Speaker 1: Like when a thought comes, you're supposed to be like, Okay, 445 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,680 Speaker 1: let it pass, and then I'm going to get back 446 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,840 Speaker 1: into the breathing and the focusing on myself. I always 447 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,480 Speaker 1: think about like these beautiful lights around me. I think 448 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:43,760 Speaker 1: about my mother, and my brother is like my spirit 449 00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,360 Speaker 1: guides and all of that niceness. I just it's all 450 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,840 Speaker 1: love and happiness and warm fuzzies for me. Jen, what's 451 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:54,120 Speaker 1: your experience with meditation. I'm in just a better mood 452 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,280 Speaker 1: if I do it, I'm nicer, my friends like me more. Yeah, 453 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 1: it's a good intention setting for the day. Yeah. And 454 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:03,200 Speaker 1: I also recommend if you're starting and it's difficult, to 455 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,520 Speaker 1: start small, like start with seven minutes and then just 456 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:07,760 Speaker 1: work your way up. Don't make yourself to thirty minutes 457 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:11,840 Speaker 1: right at the get go. And honestly, for me, it's 458 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,240 Speaker 1: just when you slow down your thoughts and you move 459 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:18,960 Speaker 1: them aside, it strengthens your intuition, it strengthens your connection 460 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,560 Speaker 1: with the universal intelligence, which knows a hell of a 461 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,880 Speaker 1: lot more than we do. So if you're looking for answers, 462 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:26,600 Speaker 1: sometimes it's really nice to just sort of have that 463 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,240 Speaker 1: question floating around, and then you can meditate and just 464 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,520 Speaker 1: whatever little hunch you get, like if it's like go 465 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,560 Speaker 1: buy all over a bread, that might lead you towards 466 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:37,479 Speaker 1: something that you're looking for answers for it, you just 467 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:39,840 Speaker 1: don't really know. So the thing that I think is 468 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:43,840 Speaker 1: so lovely about meditation is it strengthens your ability to 469 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:47,240 Speaker 1: hear those hunches and to feel those hits and then 470 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:49,920 Speaker 1: to go act on them. And that's where the real 471 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:53,359 Speaker 1: party starts, because what do they say, like ninety percent 472 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:57,200 Speaker 1: of our thoughts are just regurgitated and aren't actually helpful 473 00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,000 Speaker 1: and are not moving us in the direction we want 474 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,080 Speaker 1: to be going. So we get into habits of thought, 475 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,760 Speaker 1: and so when you want to change your life, you 476 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,760 Speaker 1: don't want to keep thinking the same damn thoughts because 477 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:08,320 Speaker 1: those are the ones that got you where you are 478 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,040 Speaker 1: right now. So that's the great thing about meditations that 479 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:14,240 Speaker 1: it breaks that habit of thought and allows you to 480 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,960 Speaker 1: expand your thought process and just go a lot, a 481 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:20,200 Speaker 1: lot bigger than where you are right now. Yeah, And 482 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,120 Speaker 1: I think that's why this question did come up for Drew, 483 00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:26,159 Speaker 1: is it can look so many different ways, Like Chelsea, 484 00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:28,440 Speaker 1: I remember on the Ben Bruno episode, He was like, 485 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,880 Speaker 1: why don't meditate? But I do this box breathing where 486 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,359 Speaker 1: I breathe in for four, hold it for four, breathe 487 00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:35,960 Speaker 1: off for four. And you're like, but that is meditation. 488 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,720 Speaker 1: You know, you're focusing on your breath, you're listening, you're 489 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:43,520 Speaker 1: getting quiet, and it can look so different for everybody. Yeah. Yeah, 490 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,760 Speaker 1: no one's ever started meditating and been like that fucked 491 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:50,320 Speaker 1: me up, so just start. Yeah. It wasn't it the 492 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,760 Speaker 1: Dolly Llama who said everybody should meditate for an hour 493 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:58,359 Speaker 1: unless you're really busy, and then you should meditate for two. Yes. Yeah, 494 00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:00,880 Speaker 1: it helps with sleep, it helps with all the so Drew, 495 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 1: let us know how it goes on your meditation journey. 496 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:08,520 Speaker 1: Our next question comes from a caller. We have Kennya 497 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:13,240 Speaker 1: here with us. Kennya is thirty five and she says, 498 00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:15,840 Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, I first want to start by saying, how 499 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,679 Speaker 1: amazing you are in your podcast is exactly what I needed. 500 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:20,840 Speaker 1: I love how honest you are, and I strive to 501 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,080 Speaker 1: be like that instead of just trying to people please 502 00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:25,879 Speaker 1: all the time. I'm Canadian and love how much you 503 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:28,840 Speaker 1: love my country. So here is where I need help. 504 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,800 Speaker 1: I was single, for a very long time until I 505 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,480 Speaker 1: found an amazing man who is truly just one of 506 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,160 Speaker 1: the best humans I've ever met, and now we're getting married. 507 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,679 Speaker 1: We had the finance talk very early on, but I 508 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,080 Speaker 1: still have a hard time not feeling embarrassed about my 509 00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:46,920 Speaker 1: student loan debt. My fiance is very supportive, but I've 510 00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,840 Speaker 1: always been a very independent person. I've paid my own 511 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:53,200 Speaker 1: bills since I was sixteen and never ask for help financially. 512 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,480 Speaker 1: So I'm having a hard time, and I just feel 513 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,119 Speaker 1: bad to bring this burden of my student loan into 514 00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:00,920 Speaker 1: our marriage. I know I'm very hard on myself. Even 515 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:02,920 Speaker 1: when I'm wedding planning, I try to do the bare 516 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,200 Speaker 1: minimum because I feel like I don't deserve to spend 517 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,840 Speaker 1: much on anything because I'm still paying my student loan. 518 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,919 Speaker 1: How can I stop feeling embarrassed about my debt and 519 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,159 Speaker 1: learn to ask for help when I need it. I 520 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,480 Speaker 1: want to be excited about my future and my wedding, 521 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,920 Speaker 1: but the anxiety and worry about money is just so overpowering. 522 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:23,080 Speaker 1: Love Kenya, worry. I was reading that. I was reading 523 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,760 Speaker 1: that about worry and stress and what a waste of 524 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,919 Speaker 1: a time. Both of those things are right, stressing about 525 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:32,400 Speaker 1: things or overthinking things and running through this same obsessing 526 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,439 Speaker 1: about things. It's such a waste of energy. And when 527 00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:38,320 Speaker 1: you're talking about jen like telling yourself a new story, 528 00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:40,720 Speaker 1: that's exactly what it is. You have to start creating 529 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 1: a new narrative that is in your head and discarding 530 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,439 Speaker 1: the old one, which is easier said than done. But 531 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,240 Speaker 1: it's easier than people think. It's just so much easier 532 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:52,440 Speaker 1: than people think. Yeah, the choice, and it really is. 533 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,040 Speaker 1: And it's that awareness of like, Okay, I keep telling 534 00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,280 Speaker 1: myself that I'm a big fat loser because I'm in debt. 535 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,399 Speaker 1: But at least once you become aware of that, you 536 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,800 Speaker 1: can change the thought. You know, you can really focus 537 00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:05,439 Speaker 1: on changing that mantra. It's like when something doesn't go 538 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,359 Speaker 1: the way that you are expecting it to go, Like 539 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:09,919 Speaker 1: even in a day, like oh, something gets canceled or 540 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,800 Speaker 1: the person that's picking you up can no longer pick 541 00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:15,560 Speaker 1: you up, Like the reaction to that should be like Okay, great, 542 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:18,919 Speaker 1: now let me figure out another way, not like fuck. 543 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,239 Speaker 1: People get so stuck in their reaction to something like oh, 544 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:23,760 Speaker 1: I can't believe she's not picking me up. I can't 545 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:25,000 Speaker 1: how am I supposed to get there. Now, it's like 546 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,320 Speaker 1: pretty easily if you just use your head, like you 547 00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,840 Speaker 1: can find another way. There's always another way, And it's 548 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,960 Speaker 1: just so much less hard on your body and brain 549 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:38,399 Speaker 1: to stop obsessing and belaboring the same idea. So true. 550 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,720 Speaker 1: I mean, they say disease is disease, like it is 551 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:43,840 Speaker 1: hard on your body, like that kind of stuff. It's 552 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:47,640 Speaker 1: really unhealthy. Stress is a massive killer, you know. It's 553 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:49,680 Speaker 1: also like in this book I Love Letting Go, they're 554 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,600 Speaker 1: talking about being okay with embarrassing yourself. There's a very 555 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,840 Speaker 1: specific chapter on dancing, and I don't dance because I'm 556 00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,359 Speaker 1: very self conscious when I dance, and it talked about 557 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:01,560 Speaker 1: letting go, let go of your insecurity, let go be 558 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:03,679 Speaker 1: free with your body. And this weekend I went to 559 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,840 Speaker 1: this party and I danced for like two hours. My 560 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,320 Speaker 1: friends had never seen me dance like that. I was like, 561 00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:11,359 Speaker 1: you know what I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna fucking 562 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,639 Speaker 1: go and just look like an idiot and who gives 563 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,080 Speaker 1: a shit? And there were hundreds of people there, and 564 00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:18,200 Speaker 1: I did look like an idiot because my friend videotaped 565 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:19,960 Speaker 1: me and showed it to me the next day but 566 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:23,440 Speaker 1: I was able to laugh at myself instead of being embarrassed, 567 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,439 Speaker 1: you know, I was able to go good, good for 568 00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:27,800 Speaker 1: you for trying something new. You want to be free. 569 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:29,280 Speaker 1: I don't want to be the person who's at a 570 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,800 Speaker 1: party that doesn't dance and is you know, kind of 571 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,000 Speaker 1: like just embarrassed to show people that I don't really 572 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:35,600 Speaker 1: know what I'm doing, or that I'm a little tone 573 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,600 Speaker 1: deaf who gives a shit. And I know that's probably 574 00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,080 Speaker 1: surprising to hear from me, but it's true, Like that 575 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,200 Speaker 1: was the one thing that I'm very self conscious about. 576 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:46,000 Speaker 1: So I'm trying to dismantle that and making myself go 577 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:50,240 Speaker 1: to places and dance. That's so interesting. So what is 578 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,399 Speaker 1: it that you think? Like what are you thinking about 579 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,000 Speaker 1: why you can't do it because you just don't have 580 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,400 Speaker 1: the moves? Like what I just I'm in my head, 581 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:58,760 Speaker 1: I've got this thing like you can't catch the beat, 582 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,080 Speaker 1: you don't know how to dance, And I'm like, yeah, 583 00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:03,360 Speaker 1: you do. You can find there's a bunch of more 584 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,560 Speaker 1: on dancing out there, like why don't you just become 585 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:08,960 Speaker 1: one of them? Like everyone And it's obviously very freeing 586 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,560 Speaker 1: to do it, but there was a very specific chapter 587 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,040 Speaker 1: in this book about a person who was scared to 588 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,000 Speaker 1: do it, and I was like it resonated. It was 589 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:21,520 Speaker 1: like speaking directly to me. I felt, hi, Hi Kenya Jen, 590 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,720 Speaker 1: Do you have some thoughts for Kenya? Well, yeah, I 591 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:28,320 Speaker 1: mean every it's all perception, right, So it sounds like 592 00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:30,960 Speaker 1: your husband's cool with it, You've got all the support 593 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,480 Speaker 1: around it, and this is just something you're doing to 594 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:37,000 Speaker 1: yourself because it's so fun. Yeah. Yeah. So you know, 595 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 1: we were talking earlier about how money is currency and 596 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:42,560 Speaker 1: currency is energy, and the energy that you put around this, 597 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,360 Speaker 1: you're just it's like any other nasty belief you've got 598 00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,760 Speaker 1: about yourself. It's all in your head, and you get 599 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 1: to choose whether you focus on your lack of money 600 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,440 Speaker 1: or you get to choose to focus on the fact 601 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,160 Speaker 1: that you have so much support and so much love 602 00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:55,480 Speaker 1: from your husband and this is one of the most 603 00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:57,920 Speaker 1: exciting things that's ever going to happen to you, and 604 00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,560 Speaker 1: that money is fluid and it comes and it goes, 605 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:02,440 Speaker 1: and of course you can get out of this debt. 606 00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:06,440 Speaker 1: And it really is just a mindset and getting that 607 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:09,480 Speaker 1: excitement in yourself, because do you believe deep down that 608 00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:12,400 Speaker 1: you can make money, like somewhere down is the gut 609 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:16,840 Speaker 1: of you. Yes, Like I've always been a triple job 610 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:21,400 Speaker 1: kind of person, double job, but once I met my fiance, 611 00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:24,680 Speaker 1: I kind of I realized I had to dive back 612 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:27,880 Speaker 1: on the work because I wasn't focusing as match in 613 00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:31,840 Speaker 1: our relationship because I was working so much. I had 614 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,640 Speaker 1: a full time job and a part time job, so 615 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,160 Speaker 1: literally the hours that I had free, I was working 616 00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,719 Speaker 1: so because I had that in the back of my 617 00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:42,080 Speaker 1: head and I knew he was the one I was 618 00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:44,520 Speaker 1: going to marry, so I was just trying to work 619 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:48,400 Speaker 1: so hard to kind of make it less of this 620 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:53,240 Speaker 1: big debt by the time we were ready to get married. Yeah, 621 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:57,040 Speaker 1: I think a shift for you might be around not 622 00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 1: having to break your back over working so many jobs. 623 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:01,960 Speaker 1: I don't think that's what it's going to be about 624 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:05,120 Speaker 1: for you moving forward. Maybe there's a different shift for 625 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,640 Speaker 1: you that's about finding a job that's better paying in 626 00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:12,440 Speaker 1: your same field or a totally different job altogether, you know, 627 00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,920 Speaker 1: because you may have skills that you can put to 628 00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:18,360 Speaker 1: use in another line of work that pays a lot better. 629 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:20,960 Speaker 1: But the other thing, too, is you know your fans 630 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,680 Speaker 1: is going into this with full knowledge you're not hiding 631 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:27,120 Speaker 1: anything from him. I'm sure he had debts that, whether 632 00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:29,200 Speaker 1: student or otherwise, that he had to pay off with 633 00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:32,000 Speaker 1: a car payment or whatever else. You know, these are 634 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,760 Speaker 1: things that come up in life. We have things that 635 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:36,760 Speaker 1: we have to pay for. And I don't think that 636 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:40,400 Speaker 1: that is something that means you need to cut things 637 00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:44,080 Speaker 1: from your wedding. You know, give yourself your budget and 638 00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:46,040 Speaker 1: you know, do your best to stick to it. But 639 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:50,160 Speaker 1: conflating those two things, I think is not something that 640 00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:51,960 Speaker 1: you need to be doing, because I think you deserve 641 00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:56,040 Speaker 1: to have a beautiful wedding that feels like you and 642 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:59,760 Speaker 1: you guys have the rest of your lives to deal 643 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,240 Speaker 1: with this payment and get it out of the way 644 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:05,520 Speaker 1: and be able to live your lives. Yeah, I guess 645 00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:08,560 Speaker 1: where it comes to. Like I find that I always 646 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:12,120 Speaker 1: have a hard time being the okay, I need help 647 00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,800 Speaker 1: kind of thing and not even asking for it because 648 00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:16,479 Speaker 1: I know I don't need to ask her, but just 649 00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:19,520 Speaker 1: knowing that he will take on this set for us 650 00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,160 Speaker 1: to be able to like afford a house or anything. 651 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,480 Speaker 1: So it's just it's almost like you guys said, like 652 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:29,880 Speaker 1: I have to mentally prepare and mentally be okay that 653 00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,440 Speaker 1: this is what I have to deal with. I mean, 654 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:36,400 Speaker 1: my Suner loaness what got me through school and then 655 00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,360 Speaker 1: I'm able to get a job and paid for it, 656 00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:41,240 Speaker 1: which I'm grateful for. But I guess yes, mentally, I 657 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,920 Speaker 1: just have to does your fiance no about your dad 658 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:47,360 Speaker 1: yet or no? Oh? Yeah, yeah. We had talked about 659 00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:50,720 Speaker 1: it at the beginning of our relationship before he even proposed, 660 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,400 Speaker 1: so he knew and he was just like, Okay, we 661 00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:57,400 Speaker 1: gotta get a page so we can get a bigger 662 00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:02,120 Speaker 1: house because his house too. So it just I don't know, 663 00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:05,680 Speaker 1: I feel like we're both equally. Yeah, but listen, you're 664 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,000 Speaker 1: in a great situation that you're not even seeing. Like 665 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:10,160 Speaker 1: you told him, he's fine with it and he wants 666 00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:14,160 Speaker 1: to help you. That's incredible. That's an incredible support system. 667 00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:17,200 Speaker 1: This is a great development. You got an education that 668 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,360 Speaker 1: unfortunately you have to pay all this money for. But 669 00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:22,960 Speaker 1: you have your education and now you have your husband 670 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,840 Speaker 1: and he's supportive of it. Like, there isn't a bad 671 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:27,840 Speaker 1: side to this. You just have to move forward and 672 00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:30,400 Speaker 1: continue paying down your debt so that it isn't on 673 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:32,880 Speaker 1: us off your back. But it's nothing to be ashamed of. 674 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:36,200 Speaker 1: Do you know any hundreds of millions of people have 675 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:39,760 Speaker 1: college debt? I mean, come on, you're not the only one. 676 00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,120 Speaker 1: Nothing to be ashamed of. It's not like you got 677 00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:44,600 Speaker 1: in debt on your own because you shop too much 678 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:47,200 Speaker 1: and now you have like sixty thousand dollars and you 679 00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:49,600 Speaker 1: have nothing to show for it. You have an education, 680 00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:52,560 Speaker 1: So like all of this is just these are all 681 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:55,920 Speaker 1: good things. You're moving towards your goals. And so instead 682 00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:58,719 Speaker 1: of looking at it like you're some burden, look at 683 00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:00,760 Speaker 1: it as now you have a new sense of freedom. 684 00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:03,640 Speaker 1: Now you have help to pay down your student loans. Yeah, 685 00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:05,040 Speaker 1: you know, and then one day you're going to be 686 00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:07,600 Speaker 1: able to help him with something. And I would recommend 687 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:11,080 Speaker 1: Jen's book You are a badass at making money. Two 688 00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:13,160 Speaker 1: of the biggest lessons I think for me from that 689 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,719 Speaker 1: book were money is a thing that like, we have 690 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:20,200 Speaker 1: all of these really emotional associations with and it can 691 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,240 Speaker 1: fill our heads with a whole lot of trash, just 692 00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:25,080 Speaker 1: like you know in your situation, Like it's not as 693 00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,080 Speaker 1: much about the money as it is about how you're 694 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,960 Speaker 1: thinking about it. And the other thing is that money 695 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,440 Speaker 1: is a renewable resource. You know, we think like I 696 00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:35,840 Speaker 1: spent all this money and we have these like bills 697 00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:39,000 Speaker 1: weighing over us. But like we talked about, maybe it's 698 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,000 Speaker 1: not about working two three jobs. Maybe it's about finding 699 00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,120 Speaker 1: the thing that will actually pay you more or your 700 00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:47,040 Speaker 1: future husband. But at the same time, like money is 701 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:50,760 Speaker 1: a renewable resource and it's going to keep coming to you. 702 00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:53,360 Speaker 1: You're hard working, You're going to figure it out and 703 00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:58,680 Speaker 1: it's not like you have this finite limited amount moving forward. 704 00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:01,000 Speaker 1: Think of it that way. That's been really helpful for me. 705 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:04,120 Speaker 1: I know, yeah, no, that's really helpful. And I also 706 00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:07,600 Speaker 1: want to just chime in with this is such an opportunity. Also, 707 00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,040 Speaker 1: he wants to help you, Like this is part of 708 00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:13,319 Speaker 1: your relationship where it is about receiving and allowing him 709 00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 1: to help you. You know, you're not dumping a big 710 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:18,040 Speaker 1: burden on him, like he wants to provide for you. 711 00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:20,000 Speaker 1: He loves you. So I think it also is really 712 00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:22,279 Speaker 1: going to help crack you open and have an even 713 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:24,440 Speaker 1: more intimate relationship with him. It's not to say you're 714 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:26,600 Speaker 1: not going to do everything you can to pay down 715 00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,000 Speaker 1: the debt and just you know, put your feet up 716 00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:29,680 Speaker 1: and eat bond bonds. For the rest of your marriage. 717 00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:32,600 Speaker 1: But let him help you and let him feel like 718 00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:35,480 Speaker 1: a man and take care of you. Know, and guilt 719 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:39,640 Speaker 1: is just a wasted, wasted, wasted emotion. Stop feeling guilty, 720 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,880 Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Move into action. Move into action, 721 00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:46,520 Speaker 1: and you have something beautiful to look forward to, a 722 00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:49,399 Speaker 1: beautiful wedding. You're going to have one, hopefully, so make 723 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:52,440 Speaker 1: a count and stop beating yourself up about all of 724 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,200 Speaker 1: the other stuff. Enjoy the moment that you're in instead 725 00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:58,200 Speaker 1: of worrying about past decisions. It's like your decisions were right. 726 00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:00,120 Speaker 1: You had no choice. What are we going to do? 727 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,640 Speaker 1: Not get an education? No, you want an education, so 728 00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:06,120 Speaker 1: you did what was necessary. These are all good things. Yeah, yeah, 729 00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,360 Speaker 1: and I also recommende. It's kind of a fun exercise 730 00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:10,239 Speaker 1: you can do where you write a letter to money 731 00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:12,640 Speaker 1: as if it's a person, so that you can unearth 732 00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:16,600 Speaker 1: all of your weirdness around Money is the most loaded topic, 733 00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:19,120 Speaker 1: like more than religion, more than sex. Like money is 734 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:22,560 Speaker 1: just got so much going on, So write it stream 735 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:25,279 Speaker 1: of consciousness. Push yourself and just like dear Money, I 736 00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:27,880 Speaker 1: love you, but I feel like a dirty whore admitting 737 00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,600 Speaker 1: I want you around like you get into your stuff 738 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:33,239 Speaker 1: around it and see the push pull that you've got. 739 00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:36,080 Speaker 1: And then once you pick like the three hottest things 740 00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:38,520 Speaker 1: that are the most icky to you, that's when you 741 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,080 Speaker 1: flip those ones on their heads and really work on 742 00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:43,400 Speaker 1: shifting your mindset. This can be such a gift for you. 743 00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:46,239 Speaker 1: This can be way more about getting over this debt. 744 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,000 Speaker 1: This can be about you becoming rich and really facing 745 00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:52,640 Speaker 1: your money issues. So it can be a really good thing. Yeah, no, 746 00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:55,160 Speaker 1: it definitely sounds when you guys talk about it. I 747 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:58,920 Speaker 1: can see that my issue has always been asking for 748 00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:02,640 Speaker 1: help at something, hope, and that we are way like 749 00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:06,120 Speaker 1: we're always so we are about talking about money. So yes, 750 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:09,680 Speaker 1: that's really helpful. Guys. Yeah, we are going into a 751 00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:14,920 Speaker 1: partnership so you don't have to do it all yourself anymore, right, Yes, yes, 752 00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:18,560 Speaker 1: for sure. Well Kenya send us a wedding photo and 753 00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:20,840 Speaker 1: we wish you the best of luck. Let us know 754 00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:23,480 Speaker 1: how it goes, Okay. I will thank you so much 755 00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:25,600 Speaker 1: for all your help. It was lovely talking to you all. 756 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:36,359 Speaker 1: Thank you, bye bye bye. Oh what a sweetie. This 757 00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:39,480 Speaker 1: question is from Hayley. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a 758 00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:42,440 Speaker 1: thirty four year old married mother of two working in 759 00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:45,600 Speaker 1: the fast fashion industry in New York City. On paper, 760 00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,440 Speaker 1: I think my life looks pretty put together. I've been 761 00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:51,239 Speaker 1: with my husband since we were eighteen, though he would 762 00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:53,520 Speaker 1: tell you we've been together since kindergarten, which is only 763 00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:56,560 Speaker 1: partly a lie. My kids are healthy and happy and 764 00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,520 Speaker 1: smart and wonderful. We love having help from both sides 765 00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,719 Speaker 1: of our family taking care of our kids, so my 766 00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:04,000 Speaker 1: husband and I can both work and provide for our family. 767 00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:07,040 Speaker 1: I've spent the last twelve years establishing myself at a 768 00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:10,080 Speaker 1: company where I started as an unpaid intern and worked 769 00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:13,319 Speaker 1: my way up to an established integral part of our organization. 770 00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:17,440 Speaker 1: Like I said, on paper, my life seems pretty great. However, 771 00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:20,160 Speaker 1: I find myself struggling to find purpose and meeting in 772 00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:23,200 Speaker 1: my day to day life. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, 773 00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:25,759 Speaker 1: but I do wake up with this lackluster feeling. More 774 00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,799 Speaker 1: and more I no longer feel challenged at work, and 775 00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,120 Speaker 1: while I love my kids and husband, I don't want 776 00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,120 Speaker 1: my legacy to be just a mom or a wife. 777 00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,520 Speaker 1: As awful as that sounds to say aloud or even 778 00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:38,399 Speaker 1: write in an email, it sounds silly, but as long 779 00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:40,520 Speaker 1: as I can remember. I feel as though I'm meant 780 00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:42,759 Speaker 1: to do more in life. I just can't figure out 781 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,960 Speaker 1: what that more is. I thought fashion was my passion, 782 00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:48,239 Speaker 1: and while I do enjoy being successful at my job, 783 00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:51,160 Speaker 1: I just don't know that this is where I'm supposed 784 00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,600 Speaker 1: to be. I have so many ideas of what I 785 00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:56,200 Speaker 1: could possibly do. I've always wanted to write a novel, 786 00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,880 Speaker 1: or flip houses, or start my own event planning business, 787 00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:02,319 Speaker 1: or become an interior designer. I find myself doomscrolling my 788 00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:04,840 Speaker 1: social media accounts at night of all these creatives with 789 00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:08,120 Speaker 1: this feeling like I can do this too, followed immediately 790 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:11,760 Speaker 1: by but can I? And so I end up doing nothing. 791 00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:14,600 Speaker 1: All my ideas seem like pipe dreams or things that 792 00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:17,120 Speaker 1: will take time away from what's supposed to be my priority, 793 00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:20,640 Speaker 1: my family and providing for them. I want to be great, 794 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,600 Speaker 1: but maybe I should be happy with success. The success 795 00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:26,640 Speaker 1: and perfect life on paper I already have helped me 796 00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:30,480 Speaker 1: to feel less guilty about wanting more. Haley, see Jen, 797 00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:36,359 Speaker 1: do you want to take this one from the top? Sure? Thanks, Hailey. Listen, Well, 798 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,399 Speaker 1: first of all, you totally do know what you want 799 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,319 Speaker 1: to do, so I think we can get caught. And 800 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:43,399 Speaker 1: that's sort of like I'm not sure, I'm confused, but 801 00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:46,239 Speaker 1: the reality is, you know, and you're scared. But the 802 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:48,560 Speaker 1: great news is like all those things that you said 803 00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:51,560 Speaker 1: are amazing, And so I think that you should just 804 00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:54,799 Speaker 1: go for it and start to plot out how you 805 00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:57,480 Speaker 1: could do it and start looking more deeply into it 806 00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:00,640 Speaker 1: and following people who are doing it and maybe talk 807 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:02,359 Speaker 1: to some of them, take them out for coffee, and 808 00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:04,880 Speaker 1: think of it as a real thing. You know, you 809 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,960 Speaker 1: got one go as the you that is you on 810 00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:11,920 Speaker 1: planet Earth, and we it's in our nature to keep growing. 811 00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:15,000 Speaker 1: You know, plants and trees they just keep growing until 812 00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:18,239 Speaker 1: they die. And that's us. We're not meant to hit 813 00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:21,200 Speaker 1: a certain level and then just coast along. We're supposed 814 00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:25,439 Speaker 1: to keep blossoming and expanding. And it's your birthright, that's 815 00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:30,239 Speaker 1: your nature as a living creature on Earth. So you 816 00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:34,120 Speaker 1: know that guilt is really I understand that you feel it, 817 00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:36,799 Speaker 1: but it doesn't honestly make sense for your nature. And 818 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:39,640 Speaker 1: also I want to say, like your kids, what a 819 00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:42,080 Speaker 1: great role model you're going to be when you allow 820 00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:46,120 Speaker 1: yourself to just keep blossoming and keep changing into who 821 00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,879 Speaker 1: you're becoming. I mean, that's a really, really great role 822 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:52,000 Speaker 1: model for your kids. Yeah. I mean my sister started 823 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,319 Speaker 1: her own air piercing company, and she was working for 824 00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,320 Speaker 1: another company at one point, and then I guess something 825 00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:59,719 Speaker 1: happened where they weren't going to be because she's a 826 00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:02,040 Speaker 1: REGI nurse, so they were only using real nurses, and 827 00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:04,200 Speaker 1: then they kind of started hiring other people and my 828 00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:06,600 Speaker 1: sister was like, I don't know about this. I wanted 829 00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:08,520 Speaker 1: it to be like a special you know, nurses are 830 00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:10,680 Speaker 1: coming and doing your piercings. And I was like, well, 831 00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:12,920 Speaker 1: start your own company. And she's like, ah, it's just 832 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,040 Speaker 1: such a headache. What am I going to do? Cut 833 00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:17,360 Speaker 1: to she started her own company. She is the happiest, 834 00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:20,279 Speaker 1: most productive she's ever been. She has piercings every day, 835 00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:22,760 Speaker 1: so she's like eight to ten. She goes to parties 836 00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,640 Speaker 1: and pierces like ten girls at a time. She's so fulfilled. 837 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:27,960 Speaker 1: She finally got it, she got a business license. She 838 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,319 Speaker 1: did all the shit that she thought she didn't want 839 00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:33,120 Speaker 1: to have to deal with, and she is empowered. She 840 00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:36,000 Speaker 1: is living her like best life because she has created 841 00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:39,200 Speaker 1: her own source of income. It's meaningful, it's purposeful. And 842 00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:41,919 Speaker 1: she loves it. She loves meeting new people, she loves 843 00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:44,320 Speaker 1: going to their houses. She loves giving their little certificate 844 00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,000 Speaker 1: of bravery for the little two year olds, like get 845 00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,240 Speaker 1: their ears pierced. Well, their mother's like at their ears spears. 846 00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:51,960 Speaker 1: But whatever, her whole vibe has changed, so like, you're 847 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:55,920 Speaker 1: only going to increase your magneticism by following your dreams. 848 00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:58,680 Speaker 1: Your family is going to appreciate you more. You're set 849 00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:01,120 Speaker 1: up in a success already. You've got a great husband, 850 00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:04,400 Speaker 1: you've got great kids. Like, there is no barrier for you. 851 00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:07,080 Speaker 1: You have all of this opportunity and it's only this 852 00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:09,239 Speaker 1: voice in your head that's telling you you can't do it. 853 00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:14,879 Speaker 1: So tell that voice that you're a fucking queen. Absolutely absolutely. 854 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,600 Speaker 1: And I think too, you know, I agree with John. 855 00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:19,480 Speaker 1: I think like in your heart you actually know what 856 00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:22,400 Speaker 1: it is. But throw stuff at the wall and see 857 00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:25,279 Speaker 1: what sticks. Try a few different things, see what you 858 00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:28,040 Speaker 1: actually like. This makes me think of I just started 859 00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:32,440 Speaker 1: following this woman on Instagram. She's like in her seventies. 860 00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:36,600 Speaker 1: She is basically just like an internet grandma who's adorable 861 00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:40,760 Speaker 1: and says wonderful, positive, beautiful things, and you know, calls 862 00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:45,400 Speaker 1: her followers, my darlings, and just encourages you and it 863 00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:48,920 Speaker 1: is the most lovely, wonderful thing to like wake up 864 00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,880 Speaker 1: two in the morning. But she talks about like, for 865 00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,719 Speaker 1: years I thought I could do this social media thing, 866 00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:57,640 Speaker 1: and so many people were like, Nah, it's really tough. 867 00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:00,080 Speaker 1: You can't really do it. It's tough, it's hard. You 868 00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:02,359 Speaker 1: won't give men followers da da. But so one day 869 00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:03,880 Speaker 1: she just woke up and was like, I'm going to 870 00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:06,520 Speaker 1: start doing this. And now she's got this massive following 871 00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:09,080 Speaker 1: and this beautiful cohort of people who are just like 872 00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:12,480 Speaker 1: positive and lovely and just waking up one morning and 873 00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:14,520 Speaker 1: be like, what if I do What if I do this? 874 00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:17,280 Speaker 1: You know? Yeah, and just take steps in the direction. 875 00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:19,720 Speaker 1: If you choose interior design, there shouldn't be a limit 876 00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:21,840 Speaker 1: to what you want to do, right, So if you 877 00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:24,879 Speaker 1: pick one thing to start with so that it's not overwhelming, 878 00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:27,360 Speaker 1: like say you do go down the interior design route, 879 00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:30,279 Speaker 1: you know, just start making steps in that direction. Start 880 00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:33,239 Speaker 1: an Instagram page, Start talking to people who you might help. 881 00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,759 Speaker 1: Start taking pictures of things that you find to be 882 00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:38,520 Speaker 1: beautiful and things that you would like to replicate, you know, 883 00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:42,040 Speaker 1: and design themes and homes. There are steps you can 884 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:43,960 Speaker 1: take in each direction for all of the things that 885 00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:46,279 Speaker 1: you mentioned. Just pick one and start there. And if 886 00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:48,319 Speaker 1: after a few months you're like, wait, this doesn't feel right, 887 00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:49,839 Speaker 1: then you know that it's not right and you move 888 00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:51,400 Speaker 1: on to the next thing. But I bet you it 889 00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:53,319 Speaker 1: will be right. It's just a matter of taking that 890 00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:55,640 Speaker 1: first step and then everything kind of comes together because 891 00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:58,600 Speaker 1: you have to show the universe, the energy, the world 892 00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:01,799 Speaker 1: that you are motivated enough to make some differences, and 893 00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:04,680 Speaker 1: then everything kind of comes together knowing that your energy 894 00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:07,000 Speaker 1: has shifted, because right now you're in a state of 895 00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:10,399 Speaker 1: I don't know, it's a little ambivalent, it's a little 896 00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:13,759 Speaker 1: just non active. And in order to create that kind 897 00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:17,120 Speaker 1: of surge and inspiration, you got to get moving and 898 00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:19,759 Speaker 1: then it will all come together in that way, you know, 899 00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:22,200 Speaker 1: like you got to say, Okay, this is what I want, 900 00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:24,560 Speaker 1: this is the direction I'm moving in, and things will 901 00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:26,600 Speaker 1: start to open for you, and doors will start to open. 902 00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:29,000 Speaker 1: You'll be like, oh okay. All it takes is like 903 00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:34,960 Speaker 1: a shift in intention. Agreed, totally great, Well, Lozette says, 904 00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:38,000 Speaker 1: oh I knew a Lazette in high school. Lazette, that's 905 00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:40,880 Speaker 1: the only thing, isn't that a character in which you 906 00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:45,640 Speaker 1: McCall it? Yes, lame is isn't Lazette all the characters Cosette, 907 00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:49,160 Speaker 1: that's Collette Cozette. Oh shit, I knew it was an 908 00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:52,480 Speaker 1: at such a something in between those teams, those two. 909 00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:55,160 Speaker 1: But Lozette says, and I think it's cute. She was 910 00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,120 Speaker 1: going by Les and she's like, no, Lazette is my 911 00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:58,680 Speaker 1: real name. That's what I That's what I want to 912 00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:02,120 Speaker 1: go by. And I was like, right, yes, she says, 913 00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:05,240 Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, my name's Lizette. And I have a problem 914 00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:08,560 Speaker 1: that may seem simple but is honestly complex. One of 915 00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:12,400 Speaker 1: my deep core beliefs is that I am unlovable. Because 916 00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:14,840 Speaker 1: of this, I struggle so much with being able to 917 00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:18,720 Speaker 1: accept love from others. My brain is also constantly looking 918 00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:22,080 Speaker 1: for evidence to prove this belief right. I've found more 919 00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:25,279 Speaker 1: evidence to prove me right than wrong. Therefore I stay 920 00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:28,040 Speaker 1: in this mindset. I'm twenty six and I've struggled with 921 00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:30,560 Speaker 1: mental health issues for over a decade. Now I go 922 00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:33,160 Speaker 1: to therapy, I have a good support system, I take 923 00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:36,480 Speaker 1: my medication, and I have a wonderful boyfriend. Despite all this, 924 00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:39,080 Speaker 1: I still hate myself, and I feel as though everyone 925 00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:42,200 Speaker 1: is all in on the fact that I'm unlovable, worthless, 926 00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:45,640 Speaker 1: and very ugly. I tell my therapist about this, and 927 00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:49,080 Speaker 1: all she says is that's not true, You're lovable. Like okay, 928 00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:52,160 Speaker 1: that doesn't really help in dismantling my core beliefs. I 929 00:44:52,239 --> 00:44:54,359 Speaker 1: want to be happy with myself and be a light 930 00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:56,960 Speaker 1: for others. I don't know what to do to achieve this. 931 00:44:57,239 --> 00:44:59,960 Speaker 1: Because I believe this about myself. I reject the love 932 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,640 Speaker 1: an affection my boyfriend gives me, which isn't fair to him. 933 00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:06,040 Speaker 1: I want to be loved so badly, but I believe 934 00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:08,239 Speaker 1: I'm unworthy of it. I feel as though I have 935 00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:10,520 Speaker 1: to keep this mindset because I want people to know 936 00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:13,160 Speaker 1: I'm also in on the joke. You think I'm ugly. 937 00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:15,680 Speaker 1: That's fine, because I already know I am so nice. Try. 938 00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,520 Speaker 1: I would appreciate any advice I can use to not 939 00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:21,280 Speaker 1: only accept love from others, but also start to find 940 00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:26,799 Speaker 1: the love within and feel that I'm worthy of it. Lazette, Oh, Hilazette. Hi, 941 00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:30,080 Speaker 1: First of all, please, we need to talk to you. 942 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:34,680 Speaker 1: This is an emergency situation. Yeah, okay, okay, okay, You're 943 00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:38,000 Speaker 1: never allowed to talk about yourself being ugly again. Okay, 944 00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:41,000 Speaker 1: first of all, you're adorable, but that's not even the point. 945 00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:44,400 Speaker 1: No one is ugly. You have such a negative conversation 946 00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:47,080 Speaker 1: going on with yourself, and when you're looking for negative stuff, 947 00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,880 Speaker 1: you're going to find it. When you're looking for positive stuff, 948 00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,120 Speaker 1: you're also going to find it. So it's a choice 949 00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:54,200 Speaker 1: between looking for the negative or looking for all the 950 00:45:54,239 --> 00:45:57,200 Speaker 1: things that make you lovable instead of saying you're not lovable. 951 00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:59,560 Speaker 1: What are the things that make you lovable? You tell 952 00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:05,520 Speaker 1: me right now. I think I'm good at my dog. Yeah, 953 00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:09,440 Speaker 1: I think I am very personable, I'm very talkative. I 954 00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:14,160 Speaker 1: think things that invite people in So yeah, great, Yeah, 955 00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:16,920 Speaker 1: those are great things. Those are great qualities. You're adorable. 956 00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:19,400 Speaker 1: Look at you. You're laughing, you're giggly, you have a 957 00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:22,920 Speaker 1: nice disposition, You're you're letting your thoughts take you to 958 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,359 Speaker 1: a place that you don't even need to visit. You 959 00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:28,840 Speaker 1: could be living your best life on this planet right now, 960 00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:31,480 Speaker 1: but you're choosing to hear a different story. You have 961 00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:34,000 Speaker 1: a boyfriend that loves you, and you need to accept 962 00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:37,040 Speaker 1: that love. You have to doubly accept it now because 963 00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:39,160 Speaker 1: you have an assignment from us. Okay, you have to 964 00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:42,600 Speaker 1: overcorrect what you are doing. So every morning you have 965 00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:44,799 Speaker 1: to get up and list ten things about yourself that 966 00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:47,560 Speaker 1: make you lovable that you know to be true about 967 00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:50,839 Speaker 1: yourself and why you are lovable. Every single morning, you're 968 00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:53,000 Speaker 1: going to start doing that. And it can be the 969 00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:55,319 Speaker 1: same things, it can be different things, whatever. Just get 970 00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:58,080 Speaker 1: in the habit of that. And every time you're thinking 971 00:46:58,120 --> 00:47:00,040 Speaker 1: about a negative thought, I want you to get in 972 00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:03,000 Speaker 1: the habit of flipping that thought because whatever your negative 973 00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:05,600 Speaker 1: thought is, there's an opposite thought. Right. If you're fearful, 974 00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:10,080 Speaker 1: there's love that if you're scared, there's confidence. You know 975 00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:13,200 Speaker 1: what I mean? You choose think about whatever the opposite 976 00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:15,520 Speaker 1: feeling of the word that you're feeling about yourself is. 977 00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:18,200 Speaker 1: Choose that word and think about all of the things 978 00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:24,200 Speaker 1: that are that relate to you with that word. Love, courage, strength, confidence, 979 00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:26,239 Speaker 1: Those are the things that you need to instill in 980 00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:29,640 Speaker 1: yourself moving forward. You're a fucking badass who nobody ever 981 00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:32,840 Speaker 1: told you were unlovable. You told yourself that and you 982 00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:35,880 Speaker 1: can't be trusted at this point because you told yourself 983 00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:38,879 Speaker 1: a lot of negative things. So we have to completely 984 00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:41,920 Speaker 1: reverse engineer you well. And I think that's a really 985 00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:44,919 Speaker 1: good point, Chelsea. You know, we think that every thought 986 00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:47,560 Speaker 1: that pops into our brains is the truth. But the 987 00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:50,560 Speaker 1: truth is it's not, or is someone else is about us, 988 00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:53,560 Speaker 1: It's not their thoughts. We all have this like little 989 00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:56,160 Speaker 1: voice in our head. You're choosing to let that run 990 00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:59,520 Speaker 1: you instead of choosing you running you. You know what 991 00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:02,799 Speaker 1: I mean. We all have that little devil's whatever it is, 992 00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:05,239 Speaker 1: you know, like a little devil on our shoulder saying 993 00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:07,120 Speaker 1: you're not You're not good enough, You're not good enough, 994 00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:08,799 Speaker 1: you're not smart enough, you're not pretty enough. If you're 995 00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:12,080 Speaker 1: not this enough, Yes you are, Like that is not 996 00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:14,600 Speaker 1: the voice that we are listening to. And in order 997 00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:17,359 Speaker 1: to like make your life the fullest and reach your 998 00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:20,520 Speaker 1: potential and your purpose. You're a teacher that already says 999 00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:22,919 Speaker 1: something great about you, you know what I mean. You're 1000 00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:25,840 Speaker 1: devoting your life to helping little people in the world, 1001 00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:28,640 Speaker 1: or you know, younger people in the world. I don't 1002 00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:31,000 Speaker 1: know what age you teach, but you're already doing so 1003 00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:34,359 Speaker 1: many things like these are a value that's valuable. You 1004 00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:36,480 Speaker 1: are a value, and you have a purpose and the 1005 00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:39,240 Speaker 1: sooner you lean into it. The sooner your whole world 1006 00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:41,040 Speaker 1: is going to open up and these thoughts are going 1007 00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:44,200 Speaker 1: to start to diminish. And the good news is too 1008 00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:50,759 Speaker 1: our brains are plastic. They are extensively changeable. When you 1009 00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:52,920 Speaker 1: hear that voice, if it's like, oh my god, I'm 1010 00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:55,160 Speaker 1: so ugly, look at yourself on the mirror, and even 1011 00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:56,640 Speaker 1: if it sounds fag as, he'll just be like, oh 1012 00:48:56,719 --> 00:48:59,200 Speaker 1: my god, I look beautiful today. Oh my god, I 1013 00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:02,560 Speaker 1: look incredible. All I so, I read Jen as our 1014 00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:04,640 Speaker 1: our guest Who's with us Today? And I had read 1015 00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:06,880 Speaker 1: her book You're a Badass around the same time that 1016 00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:09,960 Speaker 1: I started watching a lot of YouTube videos. Yes, this 1017 00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:12,120 Speaker 1: is who, this is who we have okay. I was 1018 00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:17,560 Speaker 1: like her names okay, a lie okay. And Trixie Mattel, 1019 00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:19,520 Speaker 1: who's a drag queen, also was like somebody. I was 1020 00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:21,960 Speaker 1: watching a lot of her, and Trixie is always like 1021 00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,359 Speaker 1: I'm an icon, I'm a legend, I look gorgeous and 1022 00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:27,960 Speaker 1: so much this way that's like funny and cute. It's 1023 00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,520 Speaker 1: like it's so much more fun than the self deprecating 1024 00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:32,880 Speaker 1: like well, no, you know, I'm already a failure or 1025 00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:36,560 Speaker 1: I'm you know, I'm no, no more of that, no 1026 00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:39,160 Speaker 1: more of that. Jen, What do you think about what 1027 00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:41,960 Speaker 1: do you think about that? Yeah? I mean awesome you guys, 1028 00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:45,040 Speaker 1: And and and also see what you can get away with, 1029 00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:48,120 Speaker 1: like I love taking this level of levity and just 1030 00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:49,960 Speaker 1: like getting out of your drama. I mean, like I'm 1031 00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:53,919 Speaker 1: still a blame such allusion and just I just want 1032 00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:56,239 Speaker 1: to see if I can get two guys to look 1033 00:49:56,239 --> 00:49:57,799 Speaker 1: at me on the street. I just want to see 1034 00:49:57,800 --> 00:50:03,160 Speaker 1: if I bandexs over pants and rock like make it 1035 00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:05,120 Speaker 1: more fun, bring some more fun back into it. And 1036 00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:08,919 Speaker 1: also remember, nobody knows what the fuck they're doing. We're all, 1037 00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:13,720 Speaker 1: I mean, we all have doubts and fears and insecurities 1038 00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:16,319 Speaker 1: and everybody nobody has it all going on anyway. So 1039 00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:19,040 Speaker 1: don't expect yourself to be at the top of your 1040 00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:21,880 Speaker 1: game all of the time. And when you're not feeling 1041 00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:23,640 Speaker 1: at the top of your game, it's a moment in time. 1042 00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:26,480 Speaker 1: It's not your identity. It's just you're just having a 1043 00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:28,400 Speaker 1: little hiccup, and there are lessons to be learned in 1044 00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:31,040 Speaker 1: that hiccup. So look for the lessons when when you're 1045 00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:34,040 Speaker 1: feeling that way, don't buy into them. So much. And 1046 00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:37,000 Speaker 1: also look at yourself through the eyes of your little students. 1047 00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:40,120 Speaker 1: How much do they love you and who you really are? 1048 00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:45,000 Speaker 1: Come on now, like what is your fan couple? Right right? 1049 00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:49,160 Speaker 1: So seriously, next time you go down that rabbit hole 1050 00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:52,120 Speaker 1: of thinking you suck, look at it through your most 1051 00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:54,680 Speaker 1: adoring students' eyes and think about what that person would 1052 00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:57,520 Speaker 1: say about what you're thinking. And I like what Catherine 1053 00:50:57,520 --> 00:50:59,759 Speaker 1: said too about like just start saying it out loud, 1054 00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:03,120 Speaker 1: like look at me, I'm beautiful, Look at me, I'm beautiful. 1055 00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:05,879 Speaker 1: Look at me, I'm beautiful, even if it's a joke 1056 00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:08,160 Speaker 1: to yourself, Like it's good to start saying these things 1057 00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:11,279 Speaker 1: to yourself, you know, and not taking it so seriously 1058 00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:14,479 Speaker 1: because you, first of all, you are beautiful inside and out, 1059 00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:16,799 Speaker 1: so like, where are you getting this from? It's just 1060 00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:20,759 Speaker 1: so silly. So yeah, you just have to really focus 1061 00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:23,799 Speaker 1: on be really paying attention to your thoughts and be 1062 00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:26,279 Speaker 1: really paying attention to go Nope, that's not what I'm 1063 00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:28,600 Speaker 1: going to think today. What's the opposite of that emotion? 1064 00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:31,359 Speaker 1: You know, I'm going to be confident about this. I'm 1065 00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:34,000 Speaker 1: not going to be insecure. I'm going to act confidently 1066 00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:37,239 Speaker 1: right here, and before you know it, acting confidently will 1067 00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:41,200 Speaker 1: make you confident. Yeah, it will become automatic. There's a 1068 00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:44,040 Speaker 1: kind of outdated thing that we women do too, which 1069 00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:46,759 Speaker 1: is like if I talk that way about myself, I'm 1070 00:51:46,760 --> 00:51:50,239 Speaker 1: conceited or what? Get rid of that? Like that is 1071 00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:53,919 Speaker 1: old fashioned, that never mattered. We are allowed to talk 1072 00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:58,120 Speaker 1: about ourselves as if we are valuable and beautiful and lovable. 1073 00:51:58,160 --> 00:51:59,839 Speaker 1: And that's not going to come across in a way 1074 00:51:59,880 --> 00:52:02,920 Speaker 1: that makes you seem that way. So start telling yourself 1075 00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:05,759 Speaker 1: that because it will, like Chelsea said, become automatic. And 1076 00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:10,560 Speaker 1: now say I'm a queen three times in a row. Okay, 1077 00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:15,520 Speaker 1: I'm a queen. I'm a queen. I'm a queen. There, yes, 1078 00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:21,839 Speaker 1: there we go. You even got the nims. Now go girl. Yeah, 1079 00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:24,680 Speaker 1: thank you so much for calling in, Lizatte, and now 1080 00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:26,520 Speaker 1: you have something to listen back to next time you 1081 00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:30,439 Speaker 1: need to remind you. Thank you. I appreciate all three 1082 00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:34,120 Speaker 1: of you so much. Chelsea, I've literally haven't found yourself eleven. 1083 00:52:34,280 --> 00:52:38,880 Speaker 1: So thank you. You're welcome, Honey, You're so welcome. Thank you. 1084 00:52:39,120 --> 00:52:43,960 Speaker 1: Bye bye, okay bye. What a total cutie. She's adorable. 1085 00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:47,239 Speaker 1: I know. My first conversation she was like sweating at 1086 00:52:47,239 --> 00:52:49,480 Speaker 1: the gym. She still looked cute. I was like, come on, now, 1087 00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:52,120 Speaker 1: come on, we got to fix this outfit. She's got 1088 00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:55,720 Speaker 1: it going on. I know. Well, let's take a quick 1089 00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:58,279 Speaker 1: break and we will be back to wrap up with 1090 00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:06,759 Speaker 1: Jenn and Chelsea, and we're back all right. Well, Jen, 1091 00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:08,680 Speaker 1: this is the point in the show where I ask, 1092 00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:12,000 Speaker 1: do you have any advice you'd like? From Chelsea? So 1093 00:53:12,120 --> 00:53:17,640 Speaker 1: much God, but I whittled it down. I would love 1094 00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:21,920 Speaker 1: some tips on writing stand up and writing good talks, like, 1095 00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:25,320 Speaker 1: because you know, writing books is one thing, but speaking 1096 00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:27,960 Speaker 1: is different. I a whole bunch of speaking engagements coming up, 1097 00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:30,520 Speaker 1: and like, how do you do it? You eat an 1098 00:53:30,600 --> 00:53:33,359 Speaker 1: edible and have all your friends over or do you 1099 00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:35,200 Speaker 1: have a team? Do you do it yourself? And then 1100 00:53:35,239 --> 00:53:38,120 Speaker 1: put on a talent show? Like what's what's your methodology? 1101 00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:41,359 Speaker 1: I mean I usually write, you know, for stand up 1102 00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:44,280 Speaker 1: and prey like doing. I mean sometimes I have writers 1103 00:53:44,280 --> 00:53:45,759 Speaker 1: helped me if I'm doing an event, but for stand 1104 00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:48,360 Speaker 1: up it's pretty much me. I'm not really you know, 1105 00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:49,920 Speaker 1: every once in a while I'll have someone come out 1106 00:53:49,920 --> 00:53:51,840 Speaker 1: and see if they have like any punchlines for me. 1107 00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:55,160 Speaker 1: But I think when you infuse you know, humor into 1108 00:53:55,239 --> 00:53:58,960 Speaker 1: like real educative kind of topics like you're doing, you know, 1109 00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:02,000 Speaker 1: there's just good personal stories to choose from that you 1110 00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:05,680 Speaker 1: that are relatable, you know, like even if you don't 1111 00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:09,680 Speaker 1: think they're relatable. Sharing of yourself I think is always relatable, 1112 00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:12,080 Speaker 1: Like when you're telling a story about anything, you know, 1113 00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:14,680 Speaker 1: when it's personal, people feel like they're being invited into 1114 00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:17,040 Speaker 1: your life and you're sharing that with them. And then 1115 00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:19,520 Speaker 1: there's a like level of comfort that I notice by 1116 00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:22,880 Speaker 1: even you know, I'm very self deprecating, and not in 1117 00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:26,080 Speaker 1: a hate self hating way or self immolating way. I 1118 00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:28,160 Speaker 1: just like, you know, I'm always talking about all the 1119 00:54:28,239 --> 00:54:30,880 Speaker 1: things that I can't get right or mess up, but 1120 00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:33,960 Speaker 1: how they keep trying. And I find that I think 1121 00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:37,200 Speaker 1: when you infuse any sort of things with just personal stories, 1122 00:54:37,239 --> 00:54:39,319 Speaker 1: the humor kind of comes like you're going to know 1123 00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:42,120 Speaker 1: what's the funny punchline to that story, or if you 1124 00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:44,280 Speaker 1: have to exaggerate a story to make it even funnier. 1125 00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:46,720 Speaker 1: You know, it's citing examples of things to help people, 1126 00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:50,160 Speaker 1: as like teaching moments. I think anything you can draw 1127 00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:52,359 Speaker 1: from your personal life, you know, there's always a way 1128 00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:57,640 Speaker 1: to make everything is funny after two weeks. Everything except 1129 00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:00,359 Speaker 1: you know, the death of someone that's not fun after 1130 00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:04,399 Speaker 1: two weeks, but everything else is funny. So no matter what, 1131 00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:06,440 Speaker 1: like you know, you can always just pull from your 1132 00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:09,919 Speaker 1: personal arsenal and you'll be surprised how many people kind 1133 00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:12,840 Speaker 1: of have the same feelings or I have the same experiences. 1134 00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:15,440 Speaker 1: I always find I'm always amazed when people come up 1135 00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:16,920 Speaker 1: and be like, oh my god, I'm just like you. 1136 00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:18,920 Speaker 1: I'm like, really, I thought I was one in a million, 1137 00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:21,840 Speaker 1: But the reason why people do relate to me is 1138 00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:24,759 Speaker 1: because I am like so many other people, not that 1139 00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:26,680 Speaker 1: I'm one in a million, I'm one of you know, 1140 00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:31,480 Speaker 1: millions of us who feel this way. So yeah, relatability, 1141 00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:34,879 Speaker 1: I think is the key ingredient to really connecting with anybody. Cool. 1142 00:55:35,239 --> 00:55:40,040 Speaker 1: That's great. Oh thank you, Jen, Yeah, that was awesome. 1143 00:55:40,160 --> 00:55:41,960 Speaker 1: So nice to meet with you and speak with you. 1144 00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:45,400 Speaker 1: Thanks for contributing today and helping these people. Oh thank 1145 00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:47,719 Speaker 1: you so much. I just want to say I am 1146 00:55:47,760 --> 00:55:50,160 Speaker 1: also child free and the stuff you are doing is 1147 00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:55,680 Speaker 1: just killing me. I love good for the wombs everywhere 1148 00:55:55,280 --> 00:56:01,960 Speaker 1: who love it. Okay, take care and don't forget everybody. 1149 00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:05,840 Speaker 1: My new special Revolution is now streaming on Netflix and 1150 00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:08,719 Speaker 1: it's badass. And then I'm doing a tour, a little 1151 00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:11,320 Speaker 1: Big Bitch tour. Go to Chelsea Hamler dot com for tickets. 1152 00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:13,719 Speaker 1: I've added some new dates. I added a date in Monticello, 1153 00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:17,480 Speaker 1: New York. I'm coming to Colorado to Red Rocks Amphitheater. 1154 00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:20,160 Speaker 1: I'm coming to klam Miszoo, and then I'm coming to 1155 00:56:20,200 --> 00:56:23,839 Speaker 1: a bunch of places in Tennessee, Memphis, Knoxville, and Chattanooga. 1156 00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:27,279 Speaker 1: That's May nineteenth, twentieth, and twenty first, and then I'll 1157 00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:29,560 Speaker 1: be in Atlantic City June tenth, which is almost sold out, 1158 00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:32,360 Speaker 1: so get your tickets. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, 1159 00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:35,560 Speaker 1: shoot us an email at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail 1160 00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:37,560 Speaker 1: dot com and be sure to include your phone number. 1161 00:56:38,160 --> 00:56:41,520 Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive 1162 00:56:41,520 --> 00:56:44,000 Speaker 1: producer Katherine Law and be sure to check out our 1163 00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:47,759 Speaker 1: march at Chelsea Hamler dot com