1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,480 Speaker 1: What would you do in this situation, Probably what this 2 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:05,760 Speaker 1: woman did. If you're gonna want a date, okay, and 3 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:08,240 Speaker 1: you're gonna drop off your date and you're gonna be 4 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,319 Speaker 1: upset about how the date went or about how the 5 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 1: date is ending. I don't recommend that you say anything 6 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:18,040 Speaker 1: once the door is closed in front of your date's house. 7 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,840 Speaker 1: Why well, because there's such a thing as a rain 8 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:25,520 Speaker 1: camera and people are watching and recording you here. Listen 9 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:28,320 Speaker 1: to this for dropping me off and stuff? Sure sure 10 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,680 Speaker 1: sure you don't want me to come inside? There a drink? 11 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,919 Speaker 1: I'm an excellent partender. First of all, it's so cringey, 12 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:40,160 Speaker 1: so cringey, you don't want me to come in and drink? 13 00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 1: I'm an excellent bartender. No, I like, if I had 14 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:47,880 Speaker 1: any inclination to do so, then I just lost my boner. 15 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,440 Speaker 1: But lot of fun. No me too, Thanks again for 16 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 1: dropping me off and stuff. Sure sure sure you don't 17 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,400 Speaker 1: want me to come inside? There a drink? I'm an 18 00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:03,600 Speaker 1: excellent parttenders. I bought some New Girl very nick from 19 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 1: New Girl code that have been told tempting. I'm so tired. 20 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:15,399 Speaker 1: Maybe next time tired it gets worse time. Okay, he 21 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:21,959 Speaker 1: chooses to just stand there. Oh, and thanks for paying 22 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:24,319 Speaker 1: for dinner, by the way. By the way, Oh, but 23 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:26,800 Speaker 1: you can't come inside? Why not? Why not? I can't 24 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:32,040 Speaker 1: because you were nice to be all night. You see, 25 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:36,039 Speaker 1: he's got something going on, something like there's a screw 26 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:40,840 Speaker 1: in the ring camera. I mean, what are you doing? 27 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 2: Like? 28 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 1: First of all, First of all, the game is weak, 29 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:48,360 Speaker 1: and and that's coming from a guy that doesn't have 30 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 1: much game. But I mean, if I'm like dropping you 31 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,120 Speaker 1: off and I'm getting all the hands that you don't 32 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:57,160 Speaker 1: want me to come in unless you say to me 33 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,559 Speaker 1: like would you like to come in, I'm not gonna 34 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 1: ask you if you're sure, Like I'm gonna drop you off. 35 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 1: I'm gonna walk you to the door, and I'm gonna 36 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 1: leave because I'm not. I'm not going to beg anyone 37 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 1: let me in their home. Second of all, like he 38 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 1: doesn't even take no for an answer, Like he keeps 39 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 1: going telling himself, I'm very nick from new girl Codd, 40 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:19,960 Speaker 1: I think good with my hands. Who it's just so cringey. 41 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 1: And then and then the whole little little uh uh 42 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:28,919 Speaker 1: you know routine when she closes the door, and then 43 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:32,240 Speaker 1: this expectation that because you were nice or something that 44 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 1: and because you paid that you should be invited into 45 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 1: someone's home. This is why we'd rather be with a 46 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:38,200 Speaker 1: bear in the woods. 47 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:39,079 Speaker 2: Do you see that? 48 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:43,080 Speaker 1: I'm like, you're still a girl coding. We're still of 49 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 1: that mindset that if I pay for a date, that 50 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,600 Speaker 1: I should get to come in Like, that's still the 51 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:49,239 Speaker 1: mindset greatly. That should be the expectation if I asked 52 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 1: you on a date, as in this case, I'm a 53 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:55,359 Speaker 1: dude asking him. It doesn't even matter. It doesn't even matter. Well, 54 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,600 Speaker 1: we can get into genial gender roles and all this whatever. 55 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,520 Speaker 1: My point is, I if I ask you out, whoever 56 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:05,240 Speaker 1: I am to you romantically, if I ask you out, 57 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,919 Speaker 1: then I should be expected to pay, in my opinion, 58 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 1: because I extended the invitation. Yes, that's that's it. That's that, 59 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,880 Speaker 1: and I should have no expectation. Now I realized that 60 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,240 Speaker 1: that's not that. There are a lot of people out 61 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:21,079 Speaker 1: there who have that expectation that if they're dumb enough 62 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,560 Speaker 1: to believe this, somehow they're owed something if they treat 63 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:25,799 Speaker 1: you well. Now, is there anything to the nice guy thing? 64 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:29,079 Speaker 1: Is there anything to the nice guy being too nice 65 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:34,200 Speaker 1: versus the edgy dude maybe getting some advantages because he's 66 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,080 Speaker 1: more exciting. Is there anything to that? 67 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 2: No, I think being nice as the bare man a 68 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 2: moment I'm in a human being, but I think the 69 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,480 Speaker 2: bar is just so low. But I do think that 70 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 2: the whole edgy bad boy thing that it was never 71 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:47,800 Speaker 2: like my thing. Maybe when I was eight with my 72 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 2: drug you other boyfriend for like an hour that was that 73 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 2: was cool, But I don't know as an adult, like 74 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:54,960 Speaker 2: being nice to be expected, like you said, the expectation 75 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 2: like I'm nice to you guys, are my coworkers. 76 00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 1: I want I want to be nice everybody. I think 77 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:05,880 Speaker 1: you're I think you're healed. Yes, well that could be. 78 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 1: I also think you I think that's what you're supposed 79 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 1: to say. But I do think there's something to being 80 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:15,520 Speaker 1: unavailable for sure and edgy. And I'm not saying rude 81 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:19,800 Speaker 1: or disrespectful, certainly not lecherous or whatever I mean, but like, 82 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 1: I think there's something to be to being unavailable that 83 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 1: that does lend itself to to having people believe they're 84 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 1: attracted to you in ways that they're. 85 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,719 Speaker 2: Not totally okay, I can see that, or like the 86 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 2: nice guy finishes last, right, So like if you're a pushover, 87 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 2: I can see that not going well in your dating life, right, 88 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:38,960 Speaker 2: and nobody should be a pushover or be pushed over. 89 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 2: But you're right, maybe I am semi healed, right because like, yeah, 90 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 2: I used to go for like the one thing you 91 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,719 Speaker 2: are too, you're with a great man. Yeah yeah, So 92 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,560 Speaker 2: like I think we're we're getting they're just supporting you 93 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 2: and you're healing supporting women. I love it, go June, 94 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 2: But like, I don't know, I just think it's like 95 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:56,680 Speaker 2: it's like not like. 96 00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:58,160 Speaker 1: Just goes with maturity. 97 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,159 Speaker 3: I feel like when you're immature and and like I 98 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:02,719 Speaker 3: don't know, I think you get caught up in like 99 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,719 Speaker 3: a chase or trying to make someone like you that 100 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,360 Speaker 3: doesn't like you, and then on the converse side, they're like, oh, 101 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:08,720 Speaker 3: I'm gonna make her like me because I'm going to 102 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:09,839 Speaker 3: preturn like I'm not interested. 103 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,680 Speaker 1: Like I have MA sure way to look at it. 104 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:12,400 Speaker 3: But I feel like at some. 105 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 1: Point you grow out of it. 106 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,200 Speaker 3: You have to eat to or else you're just going 107 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:17,200 Speaker 3: to treat like crap your entire life, or you're gonna 108 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 3: treat people like crap you're entire It's hard. 109 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,560 Speaker 1: To know, though, it's a guy. It's hard to know 110 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:25,280 Speaker 1: who wants what because like, there are times when I've 111 00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:30,640 Speaker 1: tried to be like the proactive, nice, patient guy that's, 112 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:34,480 Speaker 1: you know, engaging in conversation all the time and and 113 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 1: I don't know, doing doing all the things that are 114 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:42,240 Speaker 1: traditionally good guy stuff, and then that backfires. And then 115 00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:46,040 Speaker 1: there are times when I've you know, completely ignored people 116 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,599 Speaker 1: or whatever. And then I do think the ignoring I 117 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 1: hate to say this, not for the right reasons, but 118 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 1: the ignoring has a higher probability of working in the 119 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,640 Speaker 1: short term than being the nice guy overall over the 120 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 1: course of like if you look at it like one 121 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:04,320 Speaker 1: hundred day diferent situations, because it's I think psychological. Why 122 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,159 Speaker 1: doesn't this person like me? How do I get them 123 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,600 Speaker 1: to like me? Why am I? You know what I mean? 124 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:11,279 Speaker 1: Like people I think are for whatever reason, you're praying 125 00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 1: on a part of them that it's not good. You 126 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 1: may not wind up with anything long term going about 127 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 1: it that way, like something that's unhealthy to begin with. 128 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 1: But yeah, I think if you go out with someone 129 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,360 Speaker 1: and it's like, huh, it's a whole waiting about the 130 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 1: phone theory, it's like why is this person not calling me? 131 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 1: And it starts to bug you, and then it's somehow 132 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,720 Speaker 1: they have like an they're living rent free in your head, 133 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,360 Speaker 1: and they have a little bit of an edge as 134 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,480 Speaker 1: opposed to the person that you know you can get. 135 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,680 Speaker 1: I think the truth is it's true the other way 136 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:42,000 Speaker 1: around too. I think that that women who are a 137 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:46,680 Speaker 1: little bit mysterious will have guys chasing them as opposed 138 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,039 Speaker 1: to the one who's and this isn't right, probably shouldn't 139 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,400 Speaker 1: be this way. But the person who's just straight up, hey, 140 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:55,040 Speaker 1: I'm here, I'm available. What's going on? It's almost like, oh, 141 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,160 Speaker 1: I don't know, Like why is this? Well, why does 142 00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,440 Speaker 1: this seem so easy? 143 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:00,800 Speaker 2: I see yourself? 144 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 1: But it's not necessarily easy. It's healthy. People confuse the 145 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:05,679 Speaker 1: two things though. 146 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 2: Well that's fair, Like maybe there's just it's it's getting older, 147 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,800 Speaker 2: it's it's healing. Maybe there's just parts to it. Because yeah, 148 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 2: you're talking to me, you know, ten years ago. I'm 149 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:15,320 Speaker 2: sure it's be a whole different conversation. And I was 150 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 2: probably going for the wrong guys one hundred percent. I 151 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 2: know that I was. I was missed too available. I 152 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 2: feel like I, you know, let my guard down alive. 153 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:24,960 Speaker 2: I feel like I let people treat me like crap, 154 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,120 Speaker 2: like men that I was dating or seeing or whatever. 155 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,760 Speaker 2: But now I'm married. But if I ever was not 156 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 2: not married, first I wouldn't date again. But number two, you. 157 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 1: Were not married married, that would make you married. So 158 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:38,200 Speaker 1: not if you were not not married, you're still married. 159 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,360 Speaker 1: So you want to be not married to this example. 160 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 1: In this example, but I was not married, I know 161 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 1: what you mean? Right to stop for a second. I'm like, 162 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,240 Speaker 1: wait a minute, if I were not not that, I am married? 163 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 1: Not right, just like got it? Got it? I don't know. 164 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 2: I just feel like I don't know I would be 165 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 2: a different person in this dating world because I've been 166 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,320 Speaker 2: got married or been with the same person for five years. 167 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 2: I think today i'd be different. I'm thirty years old. 168 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,640 Speaker 2: Tomorrow like it's good, it's gonna be different. Like I 169 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,840 Speaker 2: can't keep the same you know what I mean, the 170 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:06,320 Speaker 2: same patterns like I just wouldn't work with. 171 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,880 Speaker 1: Hopefully the patterns have been over for some time now, 172 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:12,280 Speaker 1: I hope since you're since you're not not married, let's 173 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:15,560 Speaker 1: shoot headlines biggest stories of today after Shopper Road. Next 174 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,080 Speaker 1: in three minutes, Friend Show is on. Welcome to Monday