1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,800 Speaker 1: I was like everybody at this point, I was like 2 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:09,039 Speaker 1: that man losing bags quick for no reason. Just self 3 00:00:09,039 --> 00:00:17,920 Speaker 1: inflicted man, self inflicted. Okay, thank you. It's really been 4 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:24,279 Speaker 1: the year self sabotage. I think he's the leader in 5 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:28,640 Speaker 1: the clubhouse though her self Sabota is yeah, yeah, if 6 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:32,680 Speaker 1: you look it up in the dictionary, absolutely absolutely. Here 7 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:36,880 Speaker 1: we go, y'all, morning, everybody in DJ Envy Angela yee 8 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:38,800 Speaker 1: charlote and the guy. We are to breakfast club. We 9 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 1: got a special guests in the building. She's got a 10 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:46,640 Speaker 1: new book out her uphill, her memoir. That's right. Great picture, 11 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:48,239 Speaker 1: by the way, thank you. How many of these did 12 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,000 Speaker 1: you have to pick through before you landed on this week? 13 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,559 Speaker 1: You know what? And this is gonna sound far more 14 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: delicious than I actually mean it, But that was from 15 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: a Playboy shoot. I did what Yeah, So how did 16 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 1: you Playboy? Yeah? Because Playboy, um reading for the articles 17 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:06,160 Speaker 1: is good writing, it's very good writing. And Playboy every 18 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:10,120 Speaker 1: let me see with pictures on the back. But they 19 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 1: did a feature on me um at some point. I 20 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:15,760 Speaker 1: think it was earlier this year. And so the photo shoot, Uh, 21 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:18,560 Speaker 1: the photographer I think believe his name is Eric Carter. 22 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,240 Speaker 1: He's based out of la He took some phenomenal photos. 23 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 1: So because during covid um, you know, we couldn't really 24 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,119 Speaker 1: work out how to you know, get new photos taken. 25 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 1: So I was like, I love these from the Playboy shoot. 26 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,120 Speaker 1: I play a joke on the husband and be like, hey, 27 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,960 Speaker 1: I'm doing a shoot with Playboy. Oh I totally did. 28 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 1: Like that was just like I'm gonna being Playboy. He 29 00:01:36,319 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: was like, what anymore? No, I don't think so. I 30 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,679 Speaker 1: think it's like a more of a you know, content 31 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:46,920 Speaker 1: or they've always had good articles and player I'm serious. Listen, 32 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:50,280 Speaker 1: Alex Hayley wrote for Playboy. Okay, so like, I don't 33 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:54,960 Speaker 1: think anybody ever went to Playboy for the articles you're 34 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 1: telling on yourself right now. But that's okay. I love 35 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,120 Speaker 1: to tite a little book to uphill and I'm is 36 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:01,720 Speaker 1: a play on your last name, of course, but I 37 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:05,920 Speaker 1: mean it actually isn't. It's not And it was not 38 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 1: my title idea. This was not the original title that 39 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:15,400 Speaker 1: I wanted that came in third uh. No, the original 40 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,640 Speaker 1: title I wanted was Broken Curses because I talked a 41 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 1: lot about my family history, family trauma and all of 42 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 1: that and my mother. And I'm sure you know, you 43 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 1: guys have heard this before from elders or from your 44 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 1: parents or uncles or whatever. But the fact that there 45 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 1: are generational curses and my mother used to talk about, 46 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:33,639 Speaker 1: you know, breaking those in our family. And so that's 47 00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 1: why I wanted to name in Broken Curses. But my 48 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,960 Speaker 1: publisher they thought it was a little too negative, that 49 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:43,840 Speaker 1: it wasn't uplifting enough. And my book editor, Shannon shout 50 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,799 Speaker 1: out to you, Shannon, she came up with that title. 51 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,480 Speaker 1: Up you okay, And I said, to you, the chosen 52 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: one said it because honestly, you talk about your mom 53 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:54,959 Speaker 1: and the things that she's been through and your whole family, 54 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,919 Speaker 1: and it's a lot, and so how did she feel about, 55 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:02,640 Speaker 1: you know, these stories being told. So I talked to 56 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:07,000 Speaker 1: my mother, but we had numerous conversations about what was 57 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,000 Speaker 1: going to be in this book, and she knew what 58 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: I was doing in the journey that I was on 59 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 1: and writing it, and knew that I wanted to write 60 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 1: it transparently. But honestly, Angel, that was probably the most 61 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: difficult part because I was I was in the unfortunate 62 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,680 Speaker 1: position of asking my mother about the worst moments of 63 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:29,720 Speaker 1: her life, and I tried to save those conversations for last, 64 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:31,919 Speaker 1: if you will, so that we could talk about maybe 65 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:35,720 Speaker 1: happier things and fund memories, just to kind of not 66 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 1: come from a traumatic, you know, perspective. And so it 67 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 1: was tough. I mean, my mother told me some stories 68 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 1: I did not even know. You know, the story that 69 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:49,120 Speaker 1: I tell in the book about her, Okay, but you know, 70 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 1: I guess it's an example of a story. But the 71 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,480 Speaker 1: story I tell them the book about how one of 72 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 1: her low points during her addiction was being, you know, 73 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 1: caught in this drug house and having to hide out 74 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:03,000 Speaker 1: from drug dealers in that house on the floor, on 75 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,440 Speaker 1: a rat infestive floor. I didn't even know that story 76 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,320 Speaker 1: until she told me, because that happened when I was 77 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 1: in college. I was so scared with that part. It 78 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: was underneath those dirty clothes, rats running around, yep, Andy, 79 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,160 Speaker 1: and I thought they was gonna steal her car while 80 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 1: she was inside. Uh well, her her car, as I 81 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:23,280 Speaker 1: tell did eventually get stolen, you know, um and uh 82 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,840 Speaker 1: it was nothing she could do about it, but it 83 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:27,600 Speaker 1: was where she was at the time that was stolen, 84 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,360 Speaker 1: at what she was doing. How did you feel having 85 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 1: those conversations with your mom because I had to be emotional. 86 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:35,080 Speaker 1: I was reading some of that stuff that she went through, 87 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 1: and I was like in tears, Um it was. It 88 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,279 Speaker 1: was difficult, and but I think for her it was 89 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:46,479 Speaker 1: cathartic because these are traumatic incidents that you know, during 90 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 1: the time after she was you know, sexually abused, and 91 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 1: as I telling the book, she was the victim of 92 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: a violent rape. You know, people weren't going to therapy then, 93 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,880 Speaker 1: like that wasn't suggested and as you know, Charlemagne from 94 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:03,120 Speaker 1: your working mental health in our community, that was something 95 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,800 Speaker 1: we didn't do. So imagine going through all of that 96 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 1: with no therapy. And that's why, as I discussed in 97 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 1: the book, she was going through very severe PTSD and 98 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,600 Speaker 1: did not know it because that wasn't a term then 99 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:18,599 Speaker 1: that we even were familiar with. And so, yeah, those 100 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:23,200 Speaker 1: are those are difficult conversations, but I think at the 101 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 1: end of them, it was really healing for both of us. 102 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:29,240 Speaker 1: You know, to be honest, like I certainly knew about 103 00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:33,360 Speaker 1: the trauma she experienced, but her going into detail it 104 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:37,040 Speaker 1: gives me a better and more enriched perspective about who 105 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:38,760 Speaker 1: she is. Yeah, I feel like it allowed I feel 106 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,799 Speaker 1: like it allowed you to give her more grace. Yeah, 107 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:44,279 Speaker 1: and listen, people have been asking me about what I 108 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,080 Speaker 1: want people to take away from this book. It's a 109 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,880 Speaker 1: few things, but one of the most important things is 110 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 1: that I want I want people to know you should 111 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,160 Speaker 1: talk to your people while they're here, right like your mother's, 112 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:59,000 Speaker 1: your auntie's, your father, whoever in your family, find out 113 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:02,720 Speaker 1: about them because as usually, like especially your relatives and 114 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 1: especially your parents, they lived the whole life before you 115 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:10,240 Speaker 1: even got here. And writing this book it really made 116 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:12,680 Speaker 1: me miss my grandmother who died in twenty and ten, 117 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,720 Speaker 1: because I realized I didn't ask her nearly as much 118 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:18,599 Speaker 1: about her life as I should have. You know, even 119 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 1: I know it's hard sometimes for parents and grandparents to share, 120 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,840 Speaker 1: you know, traumatic moments or their failures or disappointments, but 121 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,200 Speaker 1: it helps you see them as full of people, and 122 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:30,719 Speaker 1: maybe that does allow you to give them more grace 123 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 1: with some of the decisions they made and even in 124 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 1: some respects to how they've treated you. I was gonna ask, 125 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 1: did you understand more after talking to your mom and 126 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,880 Speaker 1: writing this book, because you know, even for myself, I 127 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:44,280 Speaker 1: didn't really understand until I had kids, and then when 128 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,159 Speaker 1: I had kids and I'm living my own life. I'm like, 129 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,440 Speaker 1: that's why my dad did that, That's why my mom 130 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:51,360 Speaker 1: acted that way. But you know, during the time, I 131 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:52,960 Speaker 1: don't want to say I hated them, what you hated 132 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:55,280 Speaker 1: what they were doing, right, But now I was like, damn, 133 00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: I understand. So did you understand more and were able 134 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:01,359 Speaker 1: to I'm you know, what I understood more is why 135 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,719 Speaker 1: even in present day she lives with so much regret. 136 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,599 Speaker 1: We had an interesting conversation recently about that because I 137 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 1: forgave my mother for this a long time ago. I've 138 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 1: let this go because I think as a kid, you know, 139 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 1: it was it was different because her trauma was something 140 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,800 Speaker 1: I had to navigate around. So it felt like my 141 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 1: childhood was being stolen from me. And so you know, 142 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:29,720 Speaker 1: you carry some resentment for that, and so I let 143 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 1: that go. I forgave her, encouraged her as she was 144 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,080 Speaker 1: turning her life around. You know my mother, I mean, 145 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,000 Speaker 1: she's got her masters now, you know, she got her 146 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 1: bachelor masters. You know, she outeducated me, which I'm very 147 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 1: very proud that she did that, and she went back 148 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 1: to school in her fifties. Okay, and so you know, 149 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,400 Speaker 1: this has really been a remarkable turn amount for her. 150 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:52,200 Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean, you know, once I let all 151 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,880 Speaker 1: of that stuff, you know, go, I think I was 152 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,800 Speaker 1: good with it. But she I think she still struggles 153 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 1: to forgive herself because she feels like she missed so much. 154 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,920 Speaker 1: And but the thing isn't It's something I wrote in 155 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,960 Speaker 1: the book. It's like my mother was there for everything, 156 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 1: Like even though you know she had a severe addiction. 157 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,160 Speaker 1: I didn't have one of those stories where my mom 158 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 1: was missing for days, like or didn't feed me, or 159 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,120 Speaker 1: the lights was cut off, and she was very protective 160 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: of it no matter what. So like I didn't that 161 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,920 Speaker 1: wasn't my story necessarily, because I know some people who 162 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:28,080 Speaker 1: are the child the child of addicts, they do have 163 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 1: that story. But she was there, but she wasn't always present, 164 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,720 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And so I think because 165 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:37,920 Speaker 1: she was trying to um, you know, figure out how 166 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 1: to come out of all the darkness she was in. 167 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:45,720 Speaker 1: I had to figure out ways to navigate around her abuse, 168 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,400 Speaker 1: her drug abuse. You know what I'm saying. It's like 169 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:48,719 Speaker 1: I don't know what mood you're gonna be, and I 170 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,880 Speaker 1: don't know what person I'm getting today. I don't know 171 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 1: when I come home, what dynamic I'm going to find? 172 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:56,920 Speaker 1: And so that for me was where the resentment was 173 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:58,520 Speaker 1: coming from, is feeling like, man, I got to do 174 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:01,520 Speaker 1: all this, you know, I'm trying to be a kid, 175 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:05,040 Speaker 1: and it's all this seriousness and darkness kind of around us, 176 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 1: and so, um, I think once I really talk to 177 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,320 Speaker 1: her about it, and we've talked throughout the years, but 178 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 1: it definitely helped me to understand a lot of the 179 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,000 Speaker 1: decisions she made. Well, watching what she went through, did 180 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 1: it like scale you away from drugs and alcohol? Oh? 181 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:24,319 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, like I've never ever tried hard 182 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:27,080 Speaker 1: drugs in my life. I don't know anybody who's done 183 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 1: any of that. I mean that, I know I don't. 184 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 1: I'm not on that scene. I'm not about that. I 185 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:33,800 Speaker 1: mean I smoked a little weed like here and there. Um, 186 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 1: they had taken an edible or two like like, that's 187 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:39,680 Speaker 1: about it. Um, And I do like tequila. But knowing 188 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:43,040 Speaker 1: the history of addiction in my family has definitely made 189 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,720 Speaker 1: me more cognizant of some things. Did your mom forgive 190 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:49,480 Speaker 1: her mother? Did she have that opportunity to have those conversations? 191 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 1: So they didn't They didn't get to the best place 192 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:57,360 Speaker 1: they were. There was always unconditional love. My mother loved 193 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:02,640 Speaker 1: my grandmother fiercely. But when my grandmother made the decision 194 00:10:02,679 --> 00:10:05,920 Speaker 1: not to believe her about the abuse my mother suffered 195 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:09,120 Speaker 1: at the hands of her brother, it was a fracture 196 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:14,360 Speaker 1: in their relationship that never healed. And unfortunately, even when 197 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:18,560 Speaker 1: my grandmother died, like my mother was her caretaker, you know, 198 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 1: like she regardless of whatever state their relationship was in 199 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:25,840 Speaker 1: in the moment, my mother was never going to abandon 200 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,959 Speaker 1: and stop loving my grandmother. And my grandmother definitely loved her, 201 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:33,839 Speaker 1: but she herself was somebody who you know, we used 202 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,080 Speaker 1: to have conversations about this, Like she used to tell me, 203 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,920 Speaker 1: like she didn't really want kids, and she felt she 204 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 1: was a very smart woman, you know, and she was 205 00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:45,720 Speaker 1: really she really wanted a career, like the kind of 206 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:47,720 Speaker 1: career I had, not necessarily a journalist, but she wanted 207 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:49,920 Speaker 1: a career. She wanted to travel the world, all these things. 208 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,840 Speaker 1: And she was born in nineteen twenty five, and so 209 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,240 Speaker 1: education for black women was not a thing in terms 210 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 1: of people thinking that they should be educated or that 211 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 1: there was value that as you know, during those times, 212 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:05,240 Speaker 1: I mean everything that a woman wanted to get financially 213 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 1: or any upward mobility came through marriage. And so she 214 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,160 Speaker 1: was married three times and you know, she she had 215 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:15,319 Speaker 1: her three kids, but she was just in many ways 216 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 1: trapped in a life she didn't feel like she chose. 217 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:22,640 Speaker 1: And UM, I think because of that, she wasn't the 218 00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:27,600 Speaker 1: best parent to UM my mother and to um you know, 219 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:29,640 Speaker 1: my uncle that she she could have been. She struggled 220 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 1: a lot that they got evicted a lot. My grandmother 221 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 1: was a functional alcoholic. Like they they had some they 222 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:38,320 Speaker 1: had some trauma, some real issues. And so um she 223 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,680 Speaker 1: was a great grandmother to me and my mother would 224 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,680 Speaker 1: would still call her a great mother despite all the 225 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,200 Speaker 1: all the you know, troubles that they went through. But 226 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:49,000 Speaker 1: I just think that um my mother never got the 227 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:52,040 Speaker 1: grandparent I got right, you know. And I was asking, 228 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:53,959 Speaker 1: is there anything that you decided not to put in 229 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,440 Speaker 1: a book that she was like, you know, let's leave 230 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,760 Speaker 1: this out or I'm gonna take this out. Other family 231 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 1: members are not gonna like this. I know, y'all like 232 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,720 Speaker 1: to hear the inside, y'all know, I know, people keep 233 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 1: it real on here and the tea. There was one 234 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,560 Speaker 1: thing I cannot tell y'all. What it was. Me and 235 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:11,480 Speaker 1: my mother got into an enormous argument about this, and 236 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:17,080 Speaker 1: the thing is is that it was the only thing 237 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:20,559 Speaker 1: in the book. She was because she got an early copy, 238 00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 1: like an advanced reader copy where you can still edit 239 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:25,440 Speaker 1: and change things, and she was hot about it and 240 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:30,400 Speaker 1: we had it out. But the funny thing was, after 241 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,400 Speaker 1: our argument, she told, you know, some of her friends 242 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,200 Speaker 1: about it, and they told her she was tripping. And 243 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,240 Speaker 1: I had a time to think about it, reflect on it. 244 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 1: I talked to my husband about it. And you know, 245 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,840 Speaker 1: the thing, when you write a memoir, you're writing about 246 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:49,040 Speaker 1: people who really exist, and so you have to be careful, truthful, 247 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,439 Speaker 1: but careful, you know what I'm saying. So that's why 248 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 1: when I talk about the abortion I had used, I 249 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,360 Speaker 1: did not use the person's real name because I don't 250 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,400 Speaker 1: know if they've told that story. I don't know if 251 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,680 Speaker 1: his people know or what state that's in, and I 252 00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:05,480 Speaker 1: didn't want to take away that opportunity from him to 253 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:08,720 Speaker 1: tell his story his own way. So with my mother, 254 00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:11,920 Speaker 1: I had to think about the fact that what is 255 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,600 Speaker 1: this relationship going to look like after this book? And 256 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 1: while I didn't anticipate my mother would stopped talking to 257 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 1: me or that. But it could be a wage issue. 258 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:23,880 Speaker 1: And this is in print, you know what I'm saying, 259 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,920 Speaker 1: It's forever, right, So I had to really think about 260 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 1: do I really want to do this. I can't imagine 261 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:33,599 Speaker 1: what it could be because there's so much. I tell y'all, 262 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,760 Speaker 1: even look your journal, you discuss that. Yeah, oh gee man? 263 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,760 Speaker 1: And for parents, let me ask the guys in the room, 264 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,439 Speaker 1: because y'all have kids. Would you read your daughter's journal 265 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,160 Speaker 1: if you saw it laying around? I would tell my 266 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:46,959 Speaker 1: wife you would, really because you don't want to read it. Yeah, yeah, 267 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,079 Speaker 1: I don't. I don't want to read it, but I 268 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 1: do think I probably would read it, only because I 269 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:53,080 Speaker 1: just feel like there's certain things that we should know 270 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:55,360 Speaker 1: as parents, You know what I mean. I would definitely 271 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,880 Speaker 1: read it. You would definitely read it because and I would. 272 00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,520 Speaker 1: The only reason I say yes because I've gone through 273 00:13:59,559 --> 00:14:02,920 Speaker 1: the phone. Oh but that's not the same though, Yes 274 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:08,400 Speaker 1: it is. I think they could not beat you some things. 275 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,720 Speaker 1: It could be just you. It could be just like 276 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:15,079 Speaker 1: venting something with you know, something's bothering you that you 277 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,599 Speaker 1: don't talk about, and you're thinking about committing suicide or 278 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:21,040 Speaker 1: hurting yourself or hurting somebody. So if I can stop that, 279 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:23,280 Speaker 1: and maybe you hate me, but hopefully you love me 280 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:24,960 Speaker 1: later because I was able to stop that. Now, if 281 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 1: it's something else, I mind my business and act like 282 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,440 Speaker 1: I didn't read it. But if it's something then you 283 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 1: could have, you know, hurt yourself or somebody else, hurt 284 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,200 Speaker 1: a classmate. Well, how do you look at that, Jamil? 285 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:37,760 Speaker 1: Obviously I disagree and I got my asswhoop because of it, Okay. 286 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,440 Speaker 1: And And that was the thing, is that because of 287 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:44,320 Speaker 1: all the you know, tumultuousness in our life, that I 288 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,400 Speaker 1: needed someplace to vent. You know, I couldn't vent to 289 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:50,240 Speaker 1: my grandmother because my grandmother then that causes friction between 290 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,840 Speaker 1: her and my mother. I was too embarrassed to vent 291 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 1: to my friends and let them in on the issues. 292 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:57,080 Speaker 1: Not like I could pick a teacher, because that's a 293 00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:59,840 Speaker 1: double ass whooping coming right. He didn't have therapy back then, 294 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,320 Speaker 1: didn't have therapy. So my journal was literally that, And 295 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,960 Speaker 1: so there is I think that might be. That might 296 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,160 Speaker 1: be that's the top three frightening moment of my life. 297 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,160 Speaker 1: When you come home and your mother is sitting there 298 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 1: with your journal, opening it, reading it exactly. I mean 299 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,320 Speaker 1: that woman. I was like, I was like, you try 300 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,680 Speaker 1: to kill me my strap. When she read the advanced 301 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 1: copy of the book, did it bring you back to 302 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,400 Speaker 1: that moment? Oh? Like it was triggering writing it. I 303 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:28,840 Speaker 1: was just like, okay, because that's that's the worst assholee 304 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,000 Speaker 1: but she ever gave me in my life, like, there's 305 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:34,720 Speaker 1: nothing that comes to it was and then she, you know, 306 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,120 Speaker 1: years later, she was like, you know you didn't deserve them, 307 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,760 Speaker 1: Well can you go back in time and can you 308 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:44,280 Speaker 1: do this? But you know it was, but she it was. 309 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,560 Speaker 1: It was. That was one of our actually most fun 310 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:50,600 Speaker 1: conversations because there were details of that I did not remember. 311 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:52,760 Speaker 1: And I was like, that don't really sound liking me 312 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:56,680 Speaker 1: because she told me that. Um well, one she was 313 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:58,880 Speaker 1: sitting there with my journal and then she was like, 314 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:00,920 Speaker 1: let's talk about this in a I was like, oh shit, 315 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:05,920 Speaker 1: I'm never coming back smith and she said that's when 316 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:07,480 Speaker 1: I told her that I wanted to go live with 317 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:09,200 Speaker 1: my father. I was like, what would possess me to 318 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:12,920 Speaker 1: say that? You was about to get and that's why 319 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:15,600 Speaker 1: she bagged up all my ship, put it in there 320 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:17,800 Speaker 1: and took me right to his job and was like, 321 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:21,120 Speaker 1: she's all yours now, and I was like, this was 322 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 1: a grave mistake on my part, this man. Yeah, but 323 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,240 Speaker 1: you know, I was able to keep a journal later 324 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,840 Speaker 1: as an adult, and I actually had an ex who 325 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:36,320 Speaker 1: read my journal too, And who I mean, people need 326 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,800 Speaker 1: to not be nosy. And I guess it's your child. 327 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:45,160 Speaker 1: I understand what they said as far as man. You 328 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,000 Speaker 1: know what, man, and what's your book? Um sparked a 329 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:51,160 Speaker 1: conversation that I had recently. Somebody told me a man 330 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,520 Speaker 1: and I was thinking about survival and like for women, 331 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,680 Speaker 1: and I saw like with your mom's stories of just 332 00:16:56,160 --> 00:17:00,360 Speaker 1: who she was with was sometimes just for survival. You 333 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:03,720 Speaker 1: can financially correct, provide and take care of things. Somebody 334 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,359 Speaker 1: said to me the other day, Man, I wish I 335 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,800 Speaker 1: had money and could handle my business. I could date 336 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 1: who I want to date. And I thought about that 337 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 1: because you know, you're but there's people who end up 338 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:17,000 Speaker 1: in situations where it's like, this is a good provider. 339 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,760 Speaker 1: I have a family, I have children, and therefore this 340 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,520 Speaker 1: is a smart decision for me to be with this person. 341 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,200 Speaker 1: And that's something your mom actually had to do also, Yeah, 342 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 1: I mean, and she's very practical and so to her, 343 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:32,080 Speaker 1: those were the qualifications she was looking for in the 344 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:36,320 Speaker 1: being with somebody, especially at a certain stage in life, 345 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:40,520 Speaker 1: like her first marriage. My first stepfather, as I'd love 346 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,600 Speaker 1: to say to my mother, just rested her like step 347 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 1: from the number one. But no, she did that one 348 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:51,320 Speaker 1: for love, right, that was like purely for love. And 349 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,679 Speaker 1: but I think after that, and certainly with some of 350 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:57,919 Speaker 1: the circumstances in our life, there was a practicality that 351 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,280 Speaker 1: she thought, you know, it didn't make sense to her 352 00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:03,679 Speaker 1: to be with a man who could not provide for 353 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,879 Speaker 1: you financially. I mean, she's very old school in that way. 354 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:11,719 Speaker 1: And you know, even as my profile expanded, and you know, 355 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,919 Speaker 1: she would give me dating advice, like I understand that 356 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,479 Speaker 1: you know, your salaries published, whether true or not. And 357 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:20,119 Speaker 1: so she was one of her biggest concerns is that 358 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,920 Speaker 1: some man would want to be with me just because 359 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:27,639 Speaker 1: you know of my money. And you know, I told her, like, 360 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,200 Speaker 1: we have a totally different kind of viewpoint of those things. 361 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:31,520 Speaker 1: I was like, you know, when I get married, I 362 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,560 Speaker 1: want to I want to do it for love. Right. 363 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:37,159 Speaker 1: That's not to say that financial considerations are not a 364 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,400 Speaker 1: part of this. You know, you do have to have 365 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:43,640 Speaker 1: some common sense with it, but that can't be the provision, 366 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,280 Speaker 1: can't be the basis necessarily of our marriage, if that 367 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,600 Speaker 1: makes sense, because it's more than just financial things that 368 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:52,200 Speaker 1: you need from a person, and you know, there's emotional 369 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:56,400 Speaker 1: security that you need from that person as well, trust, nurturing, commitment, 370 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:58,880 Speaker 1: like all those other things that really don't have anything, 371 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,119 Speaker 1: you know, to do with money. That's what I'm always like. 372 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,880 Speaker 1: I always laugh because people, Um, this is obviously before 373 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:06,320 Speaker 1: I got married. They're always surprised. They were always surprised, 374 00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:08,800 Speaker 1: and I wasn't, you know, dating like some athlete or 375 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:12,080 Speaker 1: somebody else. I was like, that has never been That's 376 00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,199 Speaker 1: never been my style. But that's the point, is that 377 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,439 Speaker 1: you are financially able to be in love because for 378 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:20,720 Speaker 1: some women, they're like, I gotta be practical, Yeah no, 379 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,720 Speaker 1: and get to a space financially where you're like, I 380 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,800 Speaker 1: could do what I want. What. It's funny though, because 381 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 1: I wish you know, from my mother that like she 382 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:30,119 Speaker 1: was a little less practical and was more you know. 383 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:33,520 Speaker 1: That's not to say that she was incapable of the 384 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,960 Speaker 1: loving aspect of a relationship, but it is to say 385 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:39,760 Speaker 1: that I think, um, you know, because of so much 386 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,639 Speaker 1: was robbed from her. You know, from a physical standpoint, 387 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,960 Speaker 1: I do think it was much harder for her to 388 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:51,040 Speaker 1: really trust any man, and so to her the provision 389 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,880 Speaker 1: part like, Okay, this is a tangible that I can see, 390 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,399 Speaker 1: that I can rely on. That's why I think that 391 00:19:56,480 --> 00:20:00,040 Speaker 1: had such a high importance for her. How important I 392 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 1: think we talked about this enough. How important is picking 393 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:06,040 Speaker 1: the right partner the right meat. How important is that 394 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,880 Speaker 1: into breaking generational crisis? Oh? I think it's a huge 395 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:12,320 Speaker 1: part of it. I mean, listen, between my mother, my grandmother, 396 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,840 Speaker 1: and my great aunt who also was no longer, no 397 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:18,720 Speaker 1: longer living, they were married eight times, eight times. And 398 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,439 Speaker 1: you know, there were certainly some successful marriages in my family. 399 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,840 Speaker 1: I did not see a lot of them growing up 400 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,919 Speaker 1: because even the people that were together, you know, it 401 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,080 Speaker 1: was like okay, come on, you know, like it was. 402 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 1: It was definitely some turbulence that was there. And for 403 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,439 Speaker 1: a long time I did not want to get married. 404 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:42,800 Speaker 1: And that was because seeing how those relationships created some 405 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:44,959 Speaker 1: brokenness in them, and I was like, I don't want 406 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,720 Speaker 1: any part of that. If that's what that's supposed to 407 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:50,840 Speaker 1: look like, I'm good, And that's why I'm so thankful 408 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,800 Speaker 1: that I got married when I did, like when I 409 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 1: was into my forties already, because by that time, having 410 00:20:56,600 --> 00:21:00,000 Speaker 1: some lived experience, being at a point where I didn't 411 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:03,800 Speaker 1: need to get married certainly, Um, the only way I 412 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,840 Speaker 1: was going to get married if I truly wanted to 413 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:07,840 Speaker 1: be with that person. And so when I met my 414 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 1: husband in twenty and fourteen, um, you know I wasn't looking. 415 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:17,159 Speaker 1: We met at homecoming at at Michigan State. You know, 416 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,480 Speaker 1: I know that. Uh of course, now we're in like 417 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 1: HPCU homecoming sea season right now, and it's like, look 418 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,920 Speaker 1: at p wis with the black people? Do I say too? 419 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,200 Speaker 1: All right? You know, I'm not saying this as lit 420 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,640 Speaker 1: as Hampton. I'm not saying that n B. All Right, 421 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,120 Speaker 1: I get it. It is a little different, all right, 422 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,000 Speaker 1: but we we get we do, all right. And so 423 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,840 Speaker 1: I was there at Michigan State UM as the grandmar 424 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,040 Speaker 1: show of the homecoming parade, and I was at the 425 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 1: Black alumni tailgate. Okay MS black alumni, ms U B 426 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,440 Speaker 1: a shout out. Um, I was there, and I was 427 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:51,240 Speaker 1: actually talking to a former student of mine because when 428 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:53,240 Speaker 1: I worked in Detroit at the at the Free Press, 429 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:55,920 Speaker 1: I co taught a sports writing class at Michigan State 430 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,280 Speaker 1: and this he was one of the students that was 431 00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,800 Speaker 1: in my class, and so I'm talking to him and 432 00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:03,639 Speaker 1: I see this like fine dude, like kind of roll up. 433 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,080 Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, it's like I don't know what's 434 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:09,040 Speaker 1: happening there, but I'm liking the energy. And we were 435 00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,199 Speaker 1: just like flirting and going back and forth. But we 436 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:15,000 Speaker 1: never exchanged numbers because you know, the student I was 437 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,359 Speaker 1: talking to knew my husband. They were good friends. And 438 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:21,200 Speaker 1: later on that night, at the Black alumni party that 439 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:25,520 Speaker 1: they have during homecoming weekend, DJ by mc light like, 440 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,879 Speaker 1: I'll never forget I saw. I saw him at the party, 441 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:30,280 Speaker 1: and I was like, what are the odds that you 442 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,439 Speaker 1: see the fine guy that you've never seen before? And 443 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,800 Speaker 1: I've been coming to homecoming for a couple of years 444 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:40,240 Speaker 1: that you see him again, must be a side party. Well, 445 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,440 Speaker 1: but I hadn't been going to homecoming for the last 446 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,920 Speaker 1: couple of years, going to all the black events. I'd 447 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:49,160 Speaker 1: never seen a right and once we got to talk, 448 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,480 Speaker 1: and I mean, like he my home church growing up 449 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,240 Speaker 1: is right in his neighborhood. All my people lived in 450 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,000 Speaker 1: the side of Detroit that he lived on and it 451 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,560 Speaker 1: was a miracle. We have never run into each other, 452 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:03,000 Speaker 1: and even though he went to Michigan State, he would 453 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,120 Speaker 1: He's five years younger than me, so we weren't there 454 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 1: at the same time, but we had a lot of 455 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,919 Speaker 1: like connections. So he came over to talk to me. 456 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:15,280 Speaker 1: He got my number, and he called me the next day, 457 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,480 Speaker 1: which a lot of dudes don't do anymore. You know 458 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:20,119 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, like calling you right away. But the 459 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,159 Speaker 1: phone call, a phone call, that was the other thing 460 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:26,320 Speaker 1: that was impressive. Also impressive. I actually answered it right 461 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,320 Speaker 1: I was like hello, you know, and so um so 462 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:31,920 Speaker 1: yeah that and the rest was kind of history, as 463 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,720 Speaker 1: they say, and we had our first date a couple 464 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,159 Speaker 1: of weeks later. Just so happened. I was going to 465 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 1: um Orange County in California for a work conference for 466 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:46,359 Speaker 1: ESPN and then his company happens to be headquartered in 467 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:48,960 Speaker 1: Orange County and he was going to be there for business. 468 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:57,000 Speaker 1: God did and just so, what you're going there too? No, 469 00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,119 Speaker 1: we were just talking on the phone and he was like, 470 00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:01,400 Speaker 1: wait a minute, I'm gonna be there too, and so 471 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,879 Speaker 1: uh he he came over to my hotel and um, 472 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,880 Speaker 1: we hung out, had some drinks and uh, you know, 473 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:12,720 Speaker 1: he uh stayed overnight. Nothing happened. Let me just say 474 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,600 Speaker 1: this because I see where y'all mind is going. Nothing happened, 475 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 1: And I thought, like when he didn't, even when I did, 476 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,280 Speaker 1: nothing happened. Well, you're right, let me let me work, 477 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:30,040 Speaker 1: let me let me clarify. No sex happened, Okay, right, 478 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,800 Speaker 1: and yeah we did kiss, but you know, we just slept. 479 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,159 Speaker 1: And uh. The next day, I thought, man, as soon 480 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,320 Speaker 1: as daylight here, this dude's gonna be out of here. 481 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,720 Speaker 1: And but he wasn't. He was like, he was like, 482 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:43,879 Speaker 1: let's go to breakfast. I finding a liar that he's 483 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:46,640 Speaker 1: out there recording it. But you han't heard your story. 484 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:48,720 Speaker 1: You haven't read the move, like you haven't heard the 485 00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:56,880 Speaker 1: old I know, right, I think he went to breakfast. 486 00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:58,880 Speaker 1: I think he just want to see if if I 487 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:02,760 Speaker 1: if I tell some various you know, some different versions details, 488 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 1: you know, or whatever, he puts a little more sauce 489 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,600 Speaker 1: on when we first met than I do. But that 490 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,280 Speaker 1: is the truthful version of what happened. Now. You talk 491 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,960 Speaker 1: about in the book about your experiences growing up in Detroit. 492 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,840 Speaker 1: But what I want to know is how hard is 493 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:19,000 Speaker 1: it to let go of the Detroit in you when 494 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:26,000 Speaker 1: you're in these corporate environments. How much Detroit do you need? Well? 495 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,720 Speaker 1: Of course, when I see somebody from Detroit, you knows, 496 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,879 Speaker 1: you know, Jayleen Rose worked at ESPN. We see each other, 497 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:34,399 Speaker 1: we're like, what up? Th right? Okay? Um, you know what, 498 00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:37,440 Speaker 1: the Detroit of me will never leave. And I don't 499 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:40,400 Speaker 1: think that's a bad thing. That doesn't mean that you're 500 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,280 Speaker 1: in meetings and corporate environments having to cuss people out 501 00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:45,680 Speaker 1: or do anything like that. But you know, you let 502 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:48,280 Speaker 1: people know you have a boundary and that you expect 503 00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:52,440 Speaker 1: to be respected. And I think the parts of Detroit 504 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,960 Speaker 1: that are in me are parts that are that have 505 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:58,320 Speaker 1: just done wondrous things for my life. You know, Detroit, 506 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 1: Angel knows this. Detroit is is a tough city. It's 507 00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:04,639 Speaker 1: a resilience city. It's also a city where you know, 508 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:06,320 Speaker 1: we take a lot of pride and being from there. 509 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,520 Speaker 1: Don't nobody put off for Detroit like people from Detroit 510 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:17,040 Speaker 1: exactly like all of that. Yeah, that's that's a part 511 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:20,600 Speaker 1: of who we are. And so that's why in my 512 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,800 Speaker 1: social media bio, I say that you know, I was 513 00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:26,440 Speaker 1: raised in Detroit. Grew up at Michigan State, Like Detroit 514 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,840 Speaker 1: is going to always run hot and heavy through my blood. 515 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:34,280 Speaker 1: And also a little philosophy aspect the fact that we 516 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:37,000 Speaker 1: wear meat coachs to the movies like now you never 517 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:39,280 Speaker 1: take the Detroit and the education that you got there, 518 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:42,960 Speaker 1: I think was incredible just to hear, because I feel 519 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:46,119 Speaker 1: like that shaped a lot of who you are today 520 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:48,840 Speaker 1: just being from there, but also the school that you 521 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:51,880 Speaker 1: went to, and then the mentor is not or people 522 00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,320 Speaker 1: that actually encouraged you to try different things because a 523 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,840 Speaker 1: lot of kids don't have that. Yeah, I mean, listen, 524 00:26:56,840 --> 00:27:00,359 Speaker 1: there were so many pivotal points in my life where 525 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:04,080 Speaker 1: just a seed planted by somebody, just the word that 526 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,120 Speaker 1: got me to the next step that I was supposed 527 00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:08,680 Speaker 1: to get to, that encouraged me to kind of keep going. 528 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,960 Speaker 1: And you know, Detroit I was. I was largely with 529 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,439 Speaker 1: the exception of two or three years, a public high school, 530 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:17,439 Speaker 1: a public education student. You know, I went to public 531 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:20,000 Speaker 1: elementary school. I went to a public middle school. You know, 532 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:22,560 Speaker 1: both mean middle school, went to Mumford. So I graduated 533 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,960 Speaker 1: from high school. And it's another reason why public education 534 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:29,199 Speaker 1: is very important to me. I was lucky because Detroit 535 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,280 Speaker 1: gave me a firm sense of my identity. You know, 536 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,080 Speaker 1: it was a city I think now it might currently 537 00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:38,160 Speaker 1: be the blackest city in America because it's eighty five 538 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,480 Speaker 1: percent black. When I was growing up, it was over 539 00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,840 Speaker 1: a million people lived in Detroit. It was like ninety 540 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:45,400 Speaker 1: percent black. You know, you don't have to have first 541 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:49,800 Speaker 1: Fridays in Detroit. It was called going to the grocery store. 542 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:52,400 Speaker 1: You know, you will sound a little different, you know, yeah, 543 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:54,920 Speaker 1: now it isn't, but back then it wasn't. It wasn't 544 00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,480 Speaker 1: like that. It was still ours, if you know what 545 00:27:56,520 --> 00:28:00,680 Speaker 1: I mean. And so having black teachers, having black teachers 546 00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:05,280 Speaker 1: throughout my entire you know, schooling, like those were important 547 00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:09,160 Speaker 1: identity moments. You know. I didn't have to go out 548 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,320 Speaker 1: of my way to learn about black history. My teachers 549 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,359 Speaker 1: just taught it. It was just a part of the curriculum. 550 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:18,280 Speaker 1: You know. I took African American history classes at Mumford, 551 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:21,239 Speaker 1: So it was just like that was nothing new. And 552 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,280 Speaker 1: so to go from that environment and then to go 553 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:27,840 Speaker 1: to Michigan State, you know, forty thousand students, eighty percent 554 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,479 Speaker 1: of them white, probably more than that, it was like 555 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:33,920 Speaker 1: quite a culture shock for me. But I was so 556 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,720 Speaker 1: glad to have had that experience of growing up in 557 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:40,160 Speaker 1: Detroit because that allowed me to always have pride in 558 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:43,120 Speaker 1: my identity and you know, to kind of carry that 559 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:44,960 Speaker 1: with me wherever I went. You know That's why I laugh. 560 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,000 Speaker 1: And I'm sure V you probably get this when people 561 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:50,600 Speaker 1: say going to a HBCU is not the real world. 562 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:52,520 Speaker 1: I was like, no, you need to be rooted in 563 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:56,080 Speaker 1: who you are because whatever environment you step into, you 564 00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:58,760 Speaker 1: cannot let it change who you are or let them 565 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:04,000 Speaker 1: tell you who you are. And even going to Michigan State, 566 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:07,240 Speaker 1: you weren't even fathoming that you could have white roommates. Nah, 567 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:10,360 Speaker 1: I mean it was. It was wild because but it 568 00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:12,640 Speaker 1: was some of the racial conversations we used to have them. 569 00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:15,880 Speaker 1: Good God, thank god nobody had a phone because they 570 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:19,000 Speaker 1: would be like what but you know, my my suite 571 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,920 Speaker 1: mates at the time they were they were from Sterling Heights, Michigan, 572 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:24,640 Speaker 1: and we used to call it growing up Sterling whites 573 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:26,960 Speaker 1: right because it was because it was it was that 574 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:30,840 Speaker 1: white right, And um, you know they didn't even they 575 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,080 Speaker 1: didn't they had no idea who Malcolm X was. Wow. 576 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:37,719 Speaker 1: They they were like we we get Martin Luther King juniors. Uh, 577 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:39,680 Speaker 1: we get a day off of that. They had no idea, 578 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:41,720 Speaker 1: Like they were like, nah, I think we were at school. 579 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:42,840 Speaker 1: I was like, that can't be the case. It's a 580 00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:46,320 Speaker 1: natural all the day. They just didn't know. They didn't 581 00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 1: have any exposure to black people outside of listening to 582 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:52,160 Speaker 1: the chronic Like they really didn't like they didn't know 583 00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:55,920 Speaker 1: anything and so, um, But in fairness, I didn't know 584 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:58,840 Speaker 1: a whole lot about white people there, so other you know, 585 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,479 Speaker 1: obviously I knew way more history about white people than 586 00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:04,240 Speaker 1: they knew about you know, black people. But in terms 587 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:07,600 Speaker 1: of just being around white people, Um, I didn't have 588 00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:10,080 Speaker 1: that much experience with that. So it was great and 589 00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:13,160 Speaker 1: we're still friends of this day that we were able to, um, 590 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:15,880 Speaker 1: you know, learn from each other. But you know, there 591 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:19,280 Speaker 1: was some Michigan State, like I mean that was a 592 00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,680 Speaker 1: place where you know, I really came into my own 593 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:25,120 Speaker 1: and grew up. But in terms of you know, having 594 00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:28,320 Speaker 1: just real up close experiences with racism that all, you know, 595 00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:30,560 Speaker 1: a lot of that started and happened there. Can you 596 00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:32,600 Speaker 1: talk about you know, you talk about how what your 597 00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:36,640 Speaker 1: mother taught you about black conservatives? About my article in 598 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:40,720 Speaker 1: the Atlantic. So you know, my mother is she is 599 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:43,440 Speaker 1: a deep sense of her faith. Um, she's a Christian 600 00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:46,720 Speaker 1: and or a believer, you know, as she likes to 601 00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:52,960 Speaker 1: put it. And because of her religious background or because 602 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,360 Speaker 1: of her faith, I'm gonna use a term religion. Um, 603 00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:59,680 Speaker 1: you know, she is certain conservative principles that she has. Now, 604 00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:03,480 Speaker 1: some of these principles are outside of faith, because you know, 605 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:06,880 Speaker 1: the one thing that's hilarious to me about you know, Republicans, 606 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,040 Speaker 1: is that they want to always label black people liberal, 607 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,440 Speaker 1: and y'all know, and having conversations, especially with some elders, 608 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,160 Speaker 1: the black people like the conservative as hell from the 609 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:18,800 Speaker 1: South exactly, especially those from from the South. And so 610 00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:22,400 Speaker 1: the black people don't have a problem with conservatives, We 611 00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:25,080 Speaker 1: got a problem with racism. That's those are totally you know, 612 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:28,040 Speaker 1: different things. And so my mother, you know, she's old school, 613 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:32,080 Speaker 1: and especially you know, with her being a believer, she 614 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:36,160 Speaker 1: does not believe in abortion, and there's other ideals that 615 00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:40,360 Speaker 1: she has that we clash on because clearly that's not 616 00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:44,800 Speaker 1: where I'm coming from. And but I think her her 617 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:49,640 Speaker 1: being that way has really given me insight about conservatives too. 618 00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:52,240 Speaker 1: It's particularly those that tie it to their Christian faith, 619 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,760 Speaker 1: and so that's informed a lot of my opinions and 620 00:31:55,840 --> 00:32:00,400 Speaker 1: even how I write about those issues when I'm attacking 621 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:05,720 Speaker 1: conservative suitially, this era, this Trump conservative, it is totally 622 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:08,040 Speaker 1: different than the ones from back in the day. I 623 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:12,040 Speaker 1: think they it's definitely different. But you know, as I 624 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:13,720 Speaker 1: write about it in the book, there were things about 625 00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:16,440 Speaker 1: Trump that appealed to my mother definitely. And I know 626 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 1: that seems strange to say about, you know, a sixty something, 627 00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:23,440 Speaker 1: your whole black woman from Detroit, but she she liked 628 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:26,000 Speaker 1: the macho shit. I mean, she liked the tough talk 629 00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:29,840 Speaker 1: and the whole generation is soft like that fed right 630 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:33,480 Speaker 1: into a lot of the things that she believes, you know. 631 00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:37,440 Speaker 1: And um, and she also watched him on The Apprentice. 632 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:41,920 Speaker 1: So yeah, but yeah, I mean so I think while 633 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:46,560 Speaker 1: these Trump Conservatives are markedly different, markedly more dangerous, Um, 634 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:51,360 Speaker 1: there are some core principles they have that frankly, Republicans 635 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:55,560 Speaker 1: have always had. He didn't invent a lot of the 636 00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,880 Speaker 1: things that he's done. He perfected some of them. But 637 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,120 Speaker 1: you know, when you look back at Ronald Reagan's presidency, 638 00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:04,920 Speaker 1: you see a lot a lot of similarities. He evokes 639 00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:07,760 Speaker 1: a lot of those talking plans, he totally does. Well, 640 00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:09,840 Speaker 1: I'm gonna touch on a few things without telling everything, 641 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:13,320 Speaker 1: but chapter eight, Free Press Don't Raise No Punks a 642 00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:18,680 Speaker 1: little bit. So that m title came from a very 643 00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:21,560 Speaker 1: fun night that I had when I was covering Michigan 644 00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,160 Speaker 1: State basketball. They had just beaten Kentucky in the Elite 645 00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:26,360 Speaker 1: Eight and we're on their way to their first Final 646 00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:28,479 Speaker 1: Four since Magic took them in seventy nine. So this 647 00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:31,960 Speaker 1: is back in nineteen ninety nine, and you know, I 648 00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:33,560 Speaker 1: mean Michigan State because they were good. They had a 649 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:36,200 Speaker 1: lot of media coverage, a lot of Detroit media outlets 650 00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:38,960 Speaker 1: and Michigan media outlets that were following them. And so 651 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,640 Speaker 1: after the game, you know, we know we headed to 652 00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:43,520 Speaker 1: the Final four, so we all went out to just 653 00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:47,720 Speaker 1: hang out, get some drinks, and somehow we just started 654 00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:51,200 Speaker 1: doing tequila shot after tequila shot after tequila shot, and 655 00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:54,000 Speaker 1: I might have been four or five in easy and 656 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:56,360 Speaker 1: somebody was like, oh, we doing one more round, and 657 00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,280 Speaker 1: most people tapped out. I was like, I ain't tapping out. 658 00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:01,080 Speaker 1: Free Press don't raise no Punks, and they never let 659 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:05,480 Speaker 1: me forget that. So so for years, when I was 660 00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:08,400 Speaker 1: on the beat, every time I ran into another reporter 661 00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:10,440 Speaker 1: who was there that night. They'd be like Free Press 662 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 1: raised bunks like y'all. So that is where that title 663 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:19,480 Speaker 1: came from. Interesting that you didn't realize your voice, how 664 00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:22,279 Speaker 1: it could be so polarizing for certain people, right to 665 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:25,080 Speaker 1: write an article and then to get responses where people 666 00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:27,919 Speaker 1: are even threatening you. Yeah, and at such a young 667 00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:31,080 Speaker 1: age too, No, I mean that started like I started 668 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,160 Speaker 1: getting hate nailed back at Michigan State. I mean the 669 00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:36,759 Speaker 1: first time I was called a nigger was at Michigan State, right, 670 00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:41,080 Speaker 1: And unfortunately, because I did have that experience there, had 671 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,840 Speaker 1: it at the Free Press. Every place I worked, Orlando Riley, 672 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:46,400 Speaker 1: I was called a racial slur. Every place I was 673 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:49,520 Speaker 1: either told to um, you know, I was either called 674 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:51,719 Speaker 1: a racial slur, told to go back to Africa or 675 00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:53,320 Speaker 1: go right for Cosmo. It was gonna be one of 676 00:34:53,360 --> 00:35:02,960 Speaker 1: those three. And so Woman's Magazine. Yeah, you don't even 677 00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:07,200 Speaker 1: think about the gender. No, So every every time I 678 00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:09,200 Speaker 1: had been told that, and so by the time it 679 00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:12,960 Speaker 1: started happening at ESPN, and especially after um what I 680 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:16,319 Speaker 1: said about Donald Trump, I was I had already been 681 00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:21,560 Speaker 1: through it. So it wasn't nearly effective. The problem is 682 00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:23,560 Speaker 1: with the Trump thing, like that took it to a 683 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,800 Speaker 1: whole new level. You know. I had certainly faced hate 684 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:29,840 Speaker 1: before my career and even gotten a couple of death threats. 685 00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:33,000 Speaker 1: That was different, you know, And when I was at 686 00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:36,040 Speaker 1: ESPN and that happened, it was just like, um, the 687 00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:39,000 Speaker 1: mobs of mail, like, you know, you real racist when 688 00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:40,720 Speaker 1: you take the time out to write somebody a letter 689 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:43,960 Speaker 1: calling them a nigger, among many other things. I was like, 690 00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:45,640 Speaker 1: damn that too. You had to put a stamp on 691 00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:52,000 Speaker 1: this Facebook message, Like that's fast, Like you know what 692 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:58,319 Speaker 1: I'm saying, that's that old school racism. They like they 693 00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:01,279 Speaker 1: took time out of their day to make sure you 694 00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,919 Speaker 1: have to hold back talking about everything at ESPN too. 695 00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:07,120 Speaker 1: But in the book, yeah, um, you know what there was. 696 00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:10,920 Speaker 1: I don't think I held back, but I think there 697 00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:14,920 Speaker 1: are parts of that story that, you know, frankly, didn't 698 00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,319 Speaker 1: really go with the whole narrative of what There's a 699 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,520 Speaker 1: whole lot of incidents I could have certainly talked about, 700 00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:21,640 Speaker 1: but it's like it just didn't make sense in terms 701 00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,520 Speaker 1: of the storytelling rhythm. I wanted to go. Plus, you know, 702 00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:26,719 Speaker 1: ESPN was a chapter in my life. It wasn't my 703 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:29,480 Speaker 1: whole life, and I realized that a lot of people 704 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,000 Speaker 1: made buy this memoir because they're looking for the ESPN 705 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,319 Speaker 1: dirt and gossip. I was honest. I'm sure there are 706 00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,520 Speaker 1: some people at ESPN that probably don't like some of 707 00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:41,880 Speaker 1: the things that I put in there, but it is 708 00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:43,440 Speaker 1: what it is. He were very honest. You said you 709 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:45,840 Speaker 1: were embarrassed it in there while they were he was 710 00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:48,719 Speaker 1: reading verbatim what you see, oh Man talking about the 711 00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:51,640 Speaker 1: former president of ESPN, John Skipper, who is still a 712 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:53,920 Speaker 1: friend of mine. You know, we went through a rough 713 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:58,160 Speaker 1: period after the Donald Trump incident, and you know, as 714 00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:02,000 Speaker 1: I write about, the most disappointing part about all of that, 715 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,000 Speaker 1: it wasn't what the president said. It wasn't the reaction, 716 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,759 Speaker 1: it wasn't the death threat. The most disappointing part of 717 00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:08,880 Speaker 1: that was that when he called me out, when the 718 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,000 Speaker 1: White House said that I should be fired, ESPN did 719 00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:14,239 Speaker 1: not have my back. That was it. Because there's a 720 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:18,960 Speaker 1: code in journalism, for sure, and every newspaper I ever 721 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:22,839 Speaker 1: worked for it. I fully believe that that happened while 722 00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:24,600 Speaker 1: I was at that paper. They would have put out 723 00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,200 Speaker 1: a statement right away saying, now, you may not like 724 00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:29,759 Speaker 1: what she said, but she wanted to us because that's 725 00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:33,359 Speaker 1: the whole that's the whole tenet of a free press, right. 726 00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:39,359 Speaker 1: It's like, you're supposed to be protected from government, you know, persecution. 727 00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:43,160 Speaker 1: And there's so many examples in the history of journalism 728 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:46,080 Speaker 1: of where newspapers and out let's have done exactly that, 729 00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:49,239 Speaker 1: Like when city Hall comes after your reporter, it's understood, 730 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,839 Speaker 1: you got your reporters back. And when ESPN didn't do 731 00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:55,879 Speaker 1: that and just let me twist and let me fry, 732 00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:59,640 Speaker 1: I I was mad. I was disappointed. Honestly, I was hurt. 733 00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:02,600 Speaker 1: I had been there eleven years at that point. I'm like, 734 00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:05,600 Speaker 1: we got to be better than this. And one of 735 00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:08,040 Speaker 1: the you know, one of the healing aspects of my 736 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:11,360 Speaker 1: relationship with Skipper, like when we met the day before 737 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:14,040 Speaker 1: I was coming off suspension and we went to have breakfast. 738 00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:16,760 Speaker 1: He apologized to me then and said he was sorry. 739 00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:18,480 Speaker 1: He said if there was one regret he had, it 740 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:22,319 Speaker 1: was that he should have said something after Trump or 741 00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:25,400 Speaker 1: former Press Secretary Sarah Huckaby Sanders said something about me. 742 00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,120 Speaker 1: Did he tell you the truth too? About how you 743 00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:29,359 Speaker 1: know a lot of those networker jets were afraid that 744 00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:33,480 Speaker 1: Trump wouldn't clear the Fox Disney merger. No, he actually didn't. 745 00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,400 Speaker 1: He didn't tell me that is that, like the equivalent 746 00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:40,760 Speaker 1: of Bill Cosby was by NBC, or that was actually true, 747 00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:42,800 Speaker 1: Like people were afraid that he wasn't going to approve 748 00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:45,799 Speaker 1: the merger between Fox Disney. I forgot who else it was. Well, 749 00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,640 Speaker 1: I think a part of it, you know, at that point, 750 00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:52,799 Speaker 1: if y'all remember in twenty seventeen, when you know, those 751 00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:55,480 Speaker 1: tweets happened and I got in the crosshairs at the president. 752 00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:58,680 Speaker 1: At ESPN was at a very interesting juncture, like they 753 00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:03,880 Speaker 1: were being called too political, two left, liberal leaning and 754 00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:06,160 Speaker 1: you know, which I thought in many ways was just 755 00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:10,040 Speaker 1: coded racism, because suddenly you see a new emergence of 756 00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:12,279 Speaker 1: faces at ESPN. You know, you had Stephen A. Smith 757 00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,000 Speaker 1: becoming the face of the network. You had Me, you 758 00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:18,400 Speaker 1: had Michael Smith, you had Bamonte Jones, all these Sarah Spain, 759 00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:21,960 Speaker 1: Kate Fagan, like all these different new diverse voices that 760 00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:25,600 Speaker 1: were that had major platforms, you know, Dan Lebotard. So 761 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,880 Speaker 1: suddenly you see a mix up in terms of what 762 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,840 Speaker 1: the talent looks like at ESPN, and then all of 763 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,120 Speaker 1: a sudden, they too political and too liberal, you know, 764 00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:37,839 Speaker 1: because people often white America, just our presence to them 765 00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,840 Speaker 1: is political. Our presence to them is liberal. We're reminding 766 00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:42,560 Speaker 1: them of something just by sitting here. We could say 767 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:46,520 Speaker 1: nothing political at all, and they was where we were political. 768 00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:49,080 Speaker 1: So that's why I used to get so pissed when 769 00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:50,759 Speaker 1: Mike and I were doing Sports Center and they used 770 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,360 Speaker 1: to call our show political. We never talked about politics. 771 00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:55,719 Speaker 1: They acted like when they turned to Sports Center, we 772 00:39:55,719 --> 00:39:59,320 Speaker 1: were breaking down immigration reform that like never happened. And 773 00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:02,080 Speaker 1: we got sick of talking about Colin Kaepernick, not because 774 00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:05,399 Speaker 1: his story was important, but we had producers that every 775 00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,719 Speaker 1: time a quarterback was signed would come runner that's like, 776 00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:09,759 Speaker 1: yall want to talk about Colin Kaepernick. I was like, no, 777 00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:12,319 Speaker 1: we don't. Like we said what we said, Like it's 778 00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:14,640 Speaker 1: already been established that the NFL is not going to 779 00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:17,520 Speaker 1: let him back into playing football. And so people were 780 00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:21,040 Speaker 1: trying to create a narrative around our show just because 781 00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:25,120 Speaker 1: we were are black as ourselves on TV. And that was, 782 00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:28,200 Speaker 1: you know, really a difficult period to go through as 783 00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:29,680 Speaker 1: you're trying to get a new show off the ground, 784 00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:33,200 Speaker 1: trying to find your footing and all of this noise 785 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,239 Speaker 1: and narrative is around the show about it not being 786 00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:38,200 Speaker 1: too political and Mike and I are racists, and they 787 00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,520 Speaker 1: started calling us Wolke Center like that was some that 788 00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,080 Speaker 1: was something that was some bullshit, Like it really was. 789 00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:45,839 Speaker 1: I finally hilarious that ESPN had to turn right back around, though, 790 00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:47,880 Speaker 1: and they had. They couldn't run from the fact that 791 00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:52,359 Speaker 1: there was an intersectionality between politics, social issues and sports. Yeah. 792 00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:55,480 Speaker 1: I mean, it's just I think they went through a 793 00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:57,680 Speaker 1: period of time where they just didn't have the stomach 794 00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:01,239 Speaker 1: for the fight, and especially when it came to me 795 00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:04,799 Speaker 1: and our show, that when you had all these right 796 00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:08,320 Speaker 1: wing publications, media outlets writing about us all the time, 797 00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,920 Speaker 1: you know, whenever we discussed anything that was you know, 798 00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,600 Speaker 1: remotely close to race or you know, anything that came 799 00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,879 Speaker 1: up within the you know, the realm of sports, they 800 00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:21,480 Speaker 1: just didn't want any part of that. And um, you know, 801 00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:25,399 Speaker 1: their relationship with the NFL was a little tenuous, and 802 00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:29,399 Speaker 1: so I think they kind of took a cowardly way 803 00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:32,320 Speaker 1: out for a little while. And so when they hired 804 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,799 Speaker 1: you know, our friend Angela Rye, and they seemed to 805 00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:38,120 Speaker 1: be ready to re engage in those conversations particularly after 806 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:40,960 Speaker 1: George Floyd. I was. I was mostly happy for my 807 00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:43,200 Speaker 1: former colleagues because I know that a lot of them 808 00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:45,200 Speaker 1: had a lot of things they wanted to say and 809 00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:49,399 Speaker 1: didn't feel the comfort or safety to say them. And um, 810 00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:52,000 Speaker 1: seeing the company gonna reverse course a little bit, I 811 00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,520 Speaker 1: think was helpful for them so that they could join 812 00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,440 Speaker 1: the dialogue before we got to ask a couple of 813 00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:00,760 Speaker 1: sports questions. One more thing about the book. Then chapter 814 00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:02,759 Speaker 1: five you pay homage to Judy Bloom with that title 815 00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,799 Speaker 1: you did go it's me you gotta see you know, 816 00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:11,000 Speaker 1: man Beverley clearly and Judi Judy Blue got me through. Man. 817 00:42:11,239 --> 00:42:18,319 Speaker 1: I don't know Dan Danie right, you know? But shoot, 818 00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:20,040 Speaker 1: the way people are acting about this book, Man and 819 00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:22,240 Speaker 1: Judie Bloom might be bad right now. I have no idea. 820 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:27,239 Speaker 1: Are you never? God is me? Margaret might not be anymore? 821 00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:30,080 Speaker 1: You know? It feel like young adult novels are so 822 00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:32,759 Speaker 1: important too. Yeah, no, because I think about all the things. 823 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:34,640 Speaker 1: I even used to read them, Sweet Valley High books. 824 00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:36,480 Speaker 1: I used to read Sweet Valley High, to Choose your 825 00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:40,160 Speaker 1: Own Adventure, like to Love Choose Aventure like those are. 826 00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:43,319 Speaker 1: Remember when Netflix did that Black Mirror episode, It choose 827 00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:46,279 Speaker 1: you on adventure. I have never seen black Mirror. Really no, 828 00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:50,239 Speaker 1: they got to choose your own adventure black Mirror Interactive. 829 00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:53,359 Speaker 1: Like that's is great, all right, I gotta peep that 830 00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:57,200 Speaker 1: my sports question. Oh got Draymond Green Jordan Pool? Draymond 831 00:42:57,200 --> 00:43:00,160 Speaker 1: Greens punches him in the face? Can Jordan pools? They 832 00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:04,080 Speaker 1: did and play comfortably there? Well, And I think this 833 00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:07,680 Speaker 1: is this was evident before this m incident, just because 834 00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:10,160 Speaker 1: the state that they, you know, go to state is 835 00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,759 Speaker 1: in in terms of their finances. I mean, that's a 836 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:14,600 Speaker 1: hell of check that don't have to write in luxury 837 00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:18,719 Speaker 1: taxes alone. If they decide to resign Draymond, give him 838 00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:21,600 Speaker 1: a new deal rather, and so I think it was 839 00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:25,960 Speaker 1: probably trending toward him not being there anyway. And you know, 840 00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:29,239 Speaker 1: I know Draymond um good dude. I know people have 841 00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:34,360 Speaker 1: polarizing opinions about him. That was a bad moment obviously. Now. 842 00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:37,800 Speaker 1: The only thing I debated with people who called it 843 00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:41,560 Speaker 1: a sucker punch. That was not a sucker punch, right, Like, 844 00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:44,759 Speaker 1: it's just there's an aggressive moment that's happening. And I 845 00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:47,360 Speaker 1: know that's your teammate, and people are like, oh, but 846 00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:49,520 Speaker 1: you know he should have recognized as his teammate and 847 00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:53,080 Speaker 1: he wasn't expecting to punch. Have you seen family members fight? Yes, 848 00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:56,880 Speaker 1: I certainly have, right, So, Um, I just think that 849 00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:58,640 Speaker 1: was a really bad moment for him. I think he 850 00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,800 Speaker 1: recognizes that. I think he is honestly remorseful. But I 851 00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,879 Speaker 1: don't see them coexisting. Jordan Pools should aduct because here's 852 00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:07,480 Speaker 1: the thing. If you push somebody that hard, you gotta 853 00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:11,759 Speaker 1: expect something is coming back, right Yeah, Um, I mean 854 00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:14,560 Speaker 1: this is this is not Jordan's Poole's fault at all, 855 00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:20,600 Speaker 1: but I think because of the finances, he won't be there. Yeah. 856 00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:22,239 Speaker 1: You know, I was on the fence at first because 857 00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:24,440 Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know, because this might be 858 00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:26,719 Speaker 1: one of those oh no, because of this incident, because 859 00:44:26,719 --> 00:44:28,400 Speaker 1: this might want to be one of those things that 860 00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:31,000 Speaker 1: like early in the season, there's certainly, you know, some 861 00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:34,319 Speaker 1: momentum that you have now, but the season drags on, 862 00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:36,879 Speaker 1: you know, I don't know. I don't know how they 863 00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:40,319 Speaker 1: respond and are able to play when you have that 864 00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,879 Speaker 1: big of a issue. That's kind of right there. But 865 00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:45,399 Speaker 1: these guys are veterans. I think they're hungry. I think 866 00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:48,480 Speaker 1: they kind of know it's their last stand, so I 867 00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:51,000 Speaker 1: do I expect them to repeat as well. Ben Simmons 868 00:44:51,080 --> 00:45:02,520 Speaker 1: Russell Westbrook. What's the question? I mean, who's better? You know, 869 00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:05,600 Speaker 1: it's the one word that comes to your mind. Do 870 00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:12,080 Speaker 1: you think Ben sim miss But you know, honestly, I 871 00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:19,520 Speaker 1: feel really bad for Russell Westbrook because you know, especially no, no, no, 872 00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:22,560 Speaker 1: I mean Ben Simmons. I think he's not as bad 873 00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:26,279 Speaker 1: as people think, you know. And and what you hate 874 00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:28,400 Speaker 1: to see is when you look at an athlete and 875 00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:31,319 Speaker 1: you could tell psychologically something's going on, you know what 876 00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:34,839 Speaker 1: I'm saying, And it's just it feels like criticizing him. 877 00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:37,480 Speaker 1: And this is not to say that he doesn't deserve, 878 00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:40,839 Speaker 1: you know, some criticism, but it just feels like he's 879 00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:42,920 Speaker 1: mentally worn out. That's what he seems like to me. 880 00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:46,920 Speaker 1: Russell Westbrook is the same thing is that because Russell 881 00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:49,799 Speaker 1: it's clearly frustrated. I don't Russell doesn't want to play 882 00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:52,839 Speaker 1: this shitty like he doesn't want to do that. But now, 883 00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:55,920 Speaker 1: and this is the gift and curse of playing with Lebron. 884 00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:58,399 Speaker 1: It's never gonna be Lebron's fault. I'm not saying it is, 885 00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:02,160 Speaker 1: but the people that play around Lebron. Remember how the 886 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,000 Speaker 1: people used to be on Chris Bosh all the time, 887 00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:07,160 Speaker 1: like it's always somebody that when they play with them, 888 00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:11,680 Speaker 1: that becomes the target for all the frustration over you know, losing, 889 00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:14,000 Speaker 1: over all of this. And it's Russell Westbrook. They have 890 00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:16,640 Speaker 1: made him the villain of the team. And I'm not 891 00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:19,319 Speaker 1: talking about the organization itself, but fans, you know, and 892 00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:22,719 Speaker 1: he's clearly struggling. I kind of agree with what Charles 893 00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:24,920 Speaker 1: Barkley said. I don't really see the joy in his 894 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,279 Speaker 1: game like I used to. Like, he's certainly still a 895 00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:30,719 Speaker 1: great athlete, but you'd be crazy not to think it's 896 00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:33,520 Speaker 1: not mentally wearing on him that he's not thinking about 897 00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:35,279 Speaker 1: this every time he takes a shot. The fact that 898 00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:37,520 Speaker 1: the fans are boring him. It reminds me of when 899 00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:39,120 Speaker 1: Josh Smith played in Atlanta and every time he took 900 00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:41,080 Speaker 1: up three point in the crowd be like no, it's 901 00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:42,520 Speaker 1: like I feel like I hear that. And every time 902 00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:46,319 Speaker 1: Russell like takes a shot, like people are mad, right, 903 00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:49,520 Speaker 1: And so to play like that in your hometown, right, 904 00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:52,479 Speaker 1: and that's that's the vibe. You can't tell me that 905 00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:55,480 Speaker 1: that mentally that wouldn't break you a little bit. That's 906 00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:57,800 Speaker 1: interesting because I feel like Ben is mental and Russ 907 00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:00,319 Speaker 1: is just physical like us. Because Rust still out that 908 00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:02,120 Speaker 1: energy and my confidence. I just don't know if he's 909 00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:04,040 Speaker 1: physically able to play the way he used to. I 910 00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:06,480 Speaker 1: mean I sensed the I sense certainly the energy. I 911 00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:08,000 Speaker 1: don't mean to make it sound like he's mailed an 912 00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:10,480 Speaker 1: innard like that, but it's like a joy that comes 913 00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:13,040 Speaker 1: to playing with basketball, and it doesn't feel like he's 914 00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:18,359 Speaker 1: playing with a lot of joy. That's how no cowboy questions. 915 00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:25,120 Speaker 1: I thought I was gonna get some New York Giants. 916 00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:27,799 Speaker 1: I think the Giants look good, you know. I mean, 917 00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:30,680 Speaker 1: I'm sure Daniel Jones is thinking about how he got 918 00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:36,440 Speaker 1: slandered when they made that pick, and definitely the last 919 00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:38,200 Speaker 1: couple of years, but they didn't have as good of 920 00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:40,239 Speaker 1: a team, I think because they have now love Brian 921 00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:42,759 Speaker 1: day Ball, like you know it definitely one of those 922 00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,080 Speaker 1: coaches I've been watching for a while, and so he 923 00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:47,520 Speaker 1: felt he felt like he would be a good fit 924 00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:51,840 Speaker 1: for this team. So look New York Football Jet saying Giants. 925 00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:54,640 Speaker 1: You know Robert Salat like he was, I'm forty nine 926 00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:57,320 Speaker 1: Ers fan. He was happening. By the way, I always 927 00:47:57,320 --> 00:48:02,520 Speaker 1: wonder about as as she's gonna be Allians fan. Yeah, 928 00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:07,040 Speaker 1: I listen, I value my mental health and that was 929 00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:10,879 Speaker 1: That's what you're talking about all the time, right, It's 930 00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:15,280 Speaker 1: like mental health as wealth. For my mental health. I 931 00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:18,120 Speaker 1: was never Alliance fan. And it's crazy because my husband's 932 00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:20,000 Speaker 1: a huge Lions fan. He was at the Cowboys game. 933 00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:29,240 Speaker 1: And uh no, I mean so my mother, as y'all 934 00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:30,920 Speaker 1: know from being the book, you know, she spent some 935 00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:34,200 Speaker 1: time in Oakland, um, you know, and that's where I 936 00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:37,879 Speaker 1: was I think conceived, okay, and so because of that, 937 00:48:38,239 --> 00:48:40,560 Speaker 1: she liked the forty nine ers, and so you know, 938 00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:42,359 Speaker 1: she would root for the Lions and for the forty 939 00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:44,440 Speaker 1: nine ers. She really liked Joe Montana. That was like 940 00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:47,600 Speaker 1: one of her favorite players. And so I just you know, 941 00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:50,239 Speaker 1: they were winning and went with that team. Why would 942 00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:53,200 Speaker 1: you not go with the winning team? Right? So it's like, well, greted. 943 00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:55,120 Speaker 1: You grew up in South Carolina, so y'all didn't have 944 00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:57,279 Speaker 1: your own NFL team, and a lot of a lot 945 00:48:57,320 --> 00:49:01,560 Speaker 1: of black fans that were not in um NFL cities 946 00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:04,000 Speaker 1: were Cowboys fan. Even something that words like in DC 947 00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:07,920 Speaker 1: you know, it's kind of a not so quiet secret. 948 00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:10,520 Speaker 1: There's a lot of Cowboys fans in DC, right and 949 00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:13,000 Speaker 1: so at any rate, so I just became a fortey 950 00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:15,120 Speaker 1: nine Ers fan. I've been with him, um, you know, 951 00:49:15,239 --> 00:49:17,399 Speaker 1: ever since. But Robert Sali was like a great coach 952 00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:19,520 Speaker 1: for US. So I when he was going through that 953 00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:21,640 Speaker 1: last year with the Jets, I was like, this dude 954 00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:23,520 Speaker 1: about to shout. He about to show them because he's 955 00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:26,960 Speaker 1: got the he gets players to buy in, certainly from 956 00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:30,120 Speaker 1: a schematic standpoint, like he's a really good coach. What 957 00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:34,600 Speaker 1: about the cow Girls. I mean, offense still look a 958 00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:37,200 Speaker 1: little rough, Shore do look a little rough. But that defense, 959 00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:40,439 Speaker 1: it's a championship level defense. And this was the kind 960 00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:43,120 Speaker 1: of defense I wish Tony Romo would have had. You know, 961 00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:45,920 Speaker 1: that's that that's no, in no way a shot at 962 00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:49,719 Speaker 1: Dak Prescott. But people like to as you know, um, 963 00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:51,880 Speaker 1: they like to hate on Tony Robo, but they forget 964 00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:54,719 Speaker 1: that he had categorically some of the worst defenses in 965 00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:56,759 Speaker 1: NFL history. And I was like, damn, if they've had 966 00:49:56,760 --> 00:49:58,799 Speaker 1: this defense with him, y'all might have won it. Y'all 967 00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:01,560 Speaker 1: might have won a couple, but it didn't Giants got 968 00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:02,960 Speaker 1: the second best record in the league. You know who 969 00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:06,200 Speaker 1: beat them? No, here we go, y'all go through this 970 00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,600 Speaker 1: on the Daily Show. You know we beat the Giants, right, 971 00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:15,680 Speaker 1: the third best thing. But I like the Cowboys, but 972 00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:17,920 Speaker 1: you know I'm picking them over the forty n Right. 973 00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:21,680 Speaker 1: You know we're going to bowl the shit when championships. 974 00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:24,279 Speaker 1: We know, we know that in San Francisco. That's why 975 00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:26,080 Speaker 1: we had to come to Dallas last year. Give y'all 976 00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:30,040 Speaker 1: a peace. Okay, we appreciate you for you go get 977 00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:34,239 Speaker 1: up Hills all right now much. I appreciate y'all. Oh, 978 00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:35,640 Speaker 1: and I just wanted to say one last thing about 979 00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:38,160 Speaker 1: Jamil Hill. When I announced my show, she called me 980 00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:40,440 Speaker 1: in the middle of the night from Portugal. You're in Portugal. No, 981 00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:42,880 Speaker 1: I wasn't in Portugal, but I was. I was somewhere 982 00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:44,719 Speaker 1: out of the country. Was I in France? Maybe I 983 00:50:44,719 --> 00:50:51,279 Speaker 1: was in south of France hanging with this dude said remember, oh, yeah, 984 00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:52,719 Speaker 1: you were here. Okay, so maybe I was, but I 985 00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:55,319 Speaker 1: was gone. She was gone. I went on the night. 986 00:50:55,440 --> 00:50:57,799 Speaker 1: She was like, I just want to say congratulations. I 987 00:50:57,920 --> 00:51:01,399 Speaker 1: was like that, it's so nice. Yeah, No, July, I'm 988 00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:03,399 Speaker 1: really proud of you for doing your thing. And as 989 00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:04,920 Speaker 1: I wrote in the note to you in the in 990 00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:08,480 Speaker 1: the book, is that you um you know the agency 991 00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:12,000 Speaker 1: you betting on yourself. Like that's very not just admirable, 992 00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:15,000 Speaker 1: but it's very inspiring for somebody like me who throughout 993 00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:17,359 Speaker 1: this this season of my career, that's what I've done. 994 00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:20,240 Speaker 1: It's like better myself. So I love seeing other women 995 00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:27,200 Speaker 1: do um. You know the same thing, y'all. Get on, 996 00:51:27,320 --> 00:51:29,399 Speaker 1: my girl. Let me tell you something. I was late. 997 00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:31,560 Speaker 1: They were v with stressed because he had to do 998 00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:40,120 Speaker 1: my job. Because you want me to leave. Thank you. 999 00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:43,200 Speaker 1: Get up Hill, Jamal Hill her memoirs out right now. 1000 00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:47,640 Speaker 1: It's right. I'm trying to be a best seller, y'all. Oh,