Speaker 1: Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
Speaker 1: week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
Speaker 1: the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
Speaker 1: crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
Speaker 1: pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of Hot takes
Speaker 1: break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
Speaker 1: Maller starts right now in the air everywhere and welcome
Speaker 1: into another pipe and Hot edition of The Fifth Hour
Speaker 1: with Ben Mallard and Danny g As. We hang out
Speaker 1: in the Magic Podcast do Joe another Saturday podcast Danny As,
Speaker 1: We're back at it in a full menu on Benny's
Speaker 1: Bodega here, So we have a lot on the menu
Speaker 1: to get to. Now, how did the Talent Show go? Ben?
Speaker 1: I didn't it to hear it. The Talent Show was amazing.
Speaker 1: I want to thank everyone that participated. We had a
Speaker 1: few people that flaked, that said they were gonna do it,
Speaker 1: they didn't do it. But we had really amazing talent.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm blown away by this every year. And we
Speaker 1: had a surfer Todd, the comedian did a uh An
Speaker 1: act that normally would not work on radio, where he
Speaker 1: he was a pretending he had a puppet and he
Speaker 1: was talking as the puppet. So he did that classic
Speaker 1: tunes by J. Scoop, just Josh Ohio, Stevie Meatballs did
Speaker 1: this X rated comedy thing. Rachel and Montobello was great,
Speaker 1: and so we had a lot of fun. It was
Speaker 1: fun night and the perfect day to do that, Danny,
Speaker 1: the day after the All Star Game. There's not a
Speaker 1: better day on the calendar to do the talent shown.
Speaker 1: As long as I have this chair and as long
Speaker 1: as I have the microphones at Fox Sports Radio. Every year,
Speaker 1: we're not gonna play spin the bottle or pin the
Speaker 1: tail on the donkey. What we are going to do
Speaker 1: is this Mallard Palooza talent show every year. So it
Speaker 1: was It was a lot of fun, and uh inco
Speaker 1: Tera was great. He was our judge and so I
Speaker 1: had a good time. There were some people who are
Speaker 1: absolutely terrible, and there were other people that were kind
Speaker 1: of okay, and then there were a bunch of people
Speaker 1: that were great. So it was awesome. Yeah, not a
Speaker 1: bad consolation prize considering we were all hoping that the
Speaker 1: game would go into extra innings to see some home runs. Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: my guy Ken Levine, who he had on the podcast,
Speaker 1: he wrote a column. I was reading it the other
Speaker 1: day about the All Star Game and he really nailed it.
Speaker 1: Like the problem with the All Star Game from an
Speaker 1: entertainment standpoint, they did way too many interviews during the game.
Speaker 1: And it I know why they did this because they
Speaker 1: got like a new toy. You know, when you get
Speaker 1: an a toy, you play with the toy all the time.
Speaker 1: You can't get enough of the toy. But it's it's overkilled.
Speaker 1: You didn't like how the grounds crew was miked up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so stupid, It's like and he pointed out Ken.
Speaker 1: And then the column that he wrote and I recommended
Speaker 1: on his blog the Kendla Line. I think it's his website,
Speaker 1: but it's blog spot, Kendla Mine, whatever it might be.
Speaker 1: But he talked about all like the gimmicks and all
Speaker 1: that and and the fact that it made it seem
Speaker 1: like it was a softball picnic, like a picnic softball
Speaker 1: game was the way I believe he described it. And
Speaker 1: there's gotta be a fine, there's a bounce. We always
Speaker 1: talk about the the secret recipe for KFC, the Kentucky
Speaker 1: Fried chicken, the eleven herbs and spices. But if you
Speaker 1: put too much of each thing in, it messes the
Speaker 1: whole thing up. So anyway, I I and the All
Speaker 1: Star Game is coming gone, and I we're back to
Speaker 1: regular baseball and all that. Did you try to go
Speaker 1: to the All Star Game? Danny? Because I did not
Speaker 1: try to go to the All Star Game. I I
Speaker 1: could have probably gone use some kind of media bullcrap
Speaker 1: to get in, but I did not even go down
Speaker 1: that road. No, I didn't even try either. Between the
Speaker 1: network and teaching, I had no time. But I did
Speaker 1: get to watch it, at least no. I watched it
Speaker 1: because I had to do the show and stuff. And
Speaker 1: the only way I would have gone is if Marlin's
Speaker 1: man had invited me. But I saw him there, but
Speaker 1: he did not. He did not give me the invite.
Speaker 1: So I did not make the cut for the All
Speaker 1: Star Game, so I did not end up gone. You
Speaker 1: know that it was an important event when my tender
Speaker 1: only pulled the extra couch into the living room. Okay,
Speaker 1: there you go. I mean the whole family was watching. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's cool, all right. No, I thought it was all right,
Speaker 1: But maybe I'm just jaded at this point. I thought,
Speaker 1: even before it mattered, when Bud Seely made it decide
Speaker 1: home field advantage, like there was like a pride if
Speaker 1: you were an American League player you hated the National
Speaker 1: League and vice versa. It's obviously not that anymore. They don't.
Speaker 1: They're just grab bass. It is. My ash feels so
Speaker 1: good right now. On the bodega menu, Benny's Bodega, we've
Speaker 1: got punked, do the Wave, gobsmacked. That's a big corn
Speaker 1: dog and backscratcher. And we'll get to all of that
Speaker 1: and possibly some other things, but we'll start with this.
Speaker 1: So last weekend was a very eventful one and the
Speaker 1: Life of Mallard podcast Life of Danny g So Friday morning,
Speaker 1: I had to work on a project that could end
Speaker 1: up being massively huge or it maybe nothing. It's one
Speaker 1: of those things that could be something or could be nothing.
Speaker 1: It's a developmental project and it's in the early stages. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: that's all I can say. I won't know anything for
Speaker 1: a little while on whether or not this is gonna
Speaker 1: work or not, but I should know within about a month,
Speaker 1: So about a month away from knowing this, So that
Speaker 1: that took a lot of my time last week. That
Speaker 1: was also one of the reasons I did not go
Speaker 1: to the All Star Games. I wanted to focus on that,
Speaker 1: and so I had some things I had to do.
Speaker 1: Doesn't have to do with the football season. I want
Speaker 1: to get into it. But there are some things, the
Speaker 1: conversations that are taking place Danny, that could be very
Speaker 1: fruitful or maybe nothing. And I will promise you that
Speaker 1: if it turns out to be nothing, I will still
Speaker 1: talk about it. I am attempting not to put the
Speaker 1: whammy on this, so I probably already put the whammy
Speaker 1: on it by talking about as much as I did.
Speaker 1: But you don't know exactly what it is. You don't.
Speaker 1: You might think you know, but trust me, you don't know.
Speaker 1: I didn't say exactly what it is. I didn't say
Speaker 1: what it was about. I didn't say any of that,
Speaker 1: just say so anyway. But then after that got done,
Speaker 1: I went to bed. I got a Friday afternoon. We
Speaker 1: had big plans me, my, the wife, the cousin and
Speaker 1: her family. We're gonna head to the beach. So she
Speaker 1: texts me while I was sleeping. I wake up, got
Speaker 1: all these messages on my phone. Plot twist right, Uh,
Speaker 1: it can't make it, she says, tested positive for the coulvid, right,
Speaker 1: so she can't make it now. She has some pre
Speaker 1: existing conditions. She's in a high risk group, so it's
Speaker 1: it's not your normal run of the mill COVID thing
Speaker 1: where if I get it, who cares. But she's got
Speaker 1: some other stuff going on, so uh, it's been an
Speaker 1: interesting roller coaster as she tries to navigate. The good
Speaker 1: news is they actually have some kind of medications. I
Speaker 1: guess some things you can take. It's not a cure
Speaker 1: or whatever, but there's stuff you can take if you're
Speaker 1: in the high risk group. So that's cool that they
Speaker 1: have some stuff now to help people like her out.
Speaker 1: But I went to the beach anyway, and I was
Speaker 1: actually able to find parking this time, which was good,
Speaker 1: and enjoyed the ways very briefly. My wife got hungry,
Speaker 1: so we had a high tail into some chicken chack
Speaker 1: and get some again. I also ordered my new mic arm,
Speaker 1: which is very important. This is the kind of content
Speaker 1: you tune into the fifth hour for. So in a
Speaker 1: previous episode, Danny we talked about I ordered all this stuff.
Speaker 1: Everything was wrong, and the mic arm I ordered was
Speaker 1: all destroyed for the podcast part of the studio. Now
Speaker 1: you can see this dandy. I am not using a
Speaker 1: mic arm. I'm using my old setup. There's a reason
Speaker 1: for that, because the mic arm showed up at the
Speaker 1: Mallard mansion here and I thought I had been punked.
Speaker 1: I thought I had been This box had at some
Speaker 1: point been opened. It was then retaped. There was stuff
Speaker 1: falling out of it. In fact, I have not even
Speaker 1: fully opened it. Uh, if you want, you can kill
Speaker 1: sometimes I can go get it here. It's in the
Speaker 1: it's in the studio. You all want to say, you
Speaker 1: want to talk for a second, Yeah, I'll do some
Speaker 1: play by play. And Ben takes his headphones off. Now
Speaker 1: he gets out of his broadcast and chair. He walks
Speaker 1: to the right of the screen I'm watching him on
Speaker 1: and he bangs into his backdrop and he sits back down.
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, we have what is that? This is
Speaker 1: I've not touched it. This is how it showed up.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you can see the skateboard came
Speaker 1: in there, right, yeah, and you can see longboard. If
Speaker 1: you don't know, if you can, I can show it
Speaker 1: on camera here. It's obviously the podcast. You can't see
Speaker 1: this get longer than that, Geez. Looks like it's a
Speaker 1: huge box, but it looks like twenty aluminum baseball bats came. Like,
Speaker 1: look at the top. Here is completely it's been opened.
Speaker 1: There's stuff falling out of it. This, yes, this showed
Speaker 1: up on my doorstep. And it wasn't from like even
Speaker 1: you know how you order stuff on Ebays sometimes and
Speaker 1: it's like, well that's you know, it's repackaged and that's
Speaker 1: the thing. This was ordered brand new on Amazon. Looks
Speaker 1: like the ups drive were stomped on it, jumped up
Speaker 1: and down on the package, threw it around the back
Speaker 1: of his truck, and torpedoed it to your front door. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what are the chances that this thing actually works? Right?
Speaker 1: I mean I haven't even opened it and I haven't
Speaker 1: had time, but there's no way. There is no way
Speaker 1: this thing's gonna work. I would be shocked if it works.
Speaker 1: But maybe it will. I'll get lucky this time. Wrong, Like,
Speaker 1: at some point I have questions here, like how does
Speaker 1: that end up? Have you you mentioned the ups guy
Speaker 1: or whatever? It was just like throwing around, but wouldn't
Speaker 1: you say, wait a minute, was damaged? I can't deliver this,
Speaker 1: uh this Who wants to order a new product and
Speaker 1: it shows up like that. I mean, I guess those
Speaker 1: guys are in a hurry with all their deliveries. But
Speaker 1: if I had a package like that, I think I
Speaker 1: would bust out the tape at least to make it presentable.
Speaker 1: Somebody threw it the front of the box through a shredder. Well,
Speaker 1: the thing is, they actually taped it, but they did
Speaker 1: such a half past job, like you can see there's
Speaker 1: some that was headed to it. I'm just like, I
Speaker 1: wonder what it looked like when it left wherever it
Speaker 1: came from, and how how many people tossed it around.
Speaker 1: It looks like they were they were playing tug of
Speaker 1: war with the box as the rope. It's just crazy.
Speaker 1: But so that was the big update on that. And
Speaker 1: we must do the wave though, Danny. That's what we
Speaker 1: have to do now. We have to do the wave,
Speaker 1: is what we must do. Yeah, what a crazy week.
Speaker 1: Been a lot of teaching hours, a lot of hours
Speaker 1: at the network, and my tender owning actually took the
Speaker 1: kids camping with her family in morro Bay, so actually
Speaker 1: overslept for a few minutes because the house is so quiet. Okay,
Speaker 1: and I get to do the podcast from upstairs. Oh
Speaker 1: that's nice. I did see the new location there. Wow,
Speaker 1: so that everyone when you were not able to go,
Speaker 1: But they're having a fine time. I stay behind and
Speaker 1: make some money. Um, you know they're sleeping on those
Speaker 1: blow up things inside the tent, the blow up beds,
Speaker 1: air mattresses. It's not what it's called. I think that's
Speaker 1: the technical term blow up beds. But you blow up hi,
Speaker 1: you're sleeping. We know about blow up dolls, not blow
Speaker 1: up beds. Yeah, well back in the old days asolutely. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So it's a quiet house. But man, the classroom was
Speaker 1: anything but quiet this past week. So I had to
Speaker 1: come up with some new science projects for the first graders.
Speaker 1: I had sixty first graders that is basically a full
Speaker 1: bottle of a leave what that is because they don't
Speaker 1: know if they're in kindergarten anymore or if they should
Speaker 1: follow any sort of instruction from a teacher. So it's
Speaker 1: a strange age group. Yeah, throwing stuff against the wall,
Speaker 1: seeing what sticks, and you came up with something new. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I had to do a hybrid between finger painting and
Speaker 1: studying about Sir Isaac Newton all the balance. So you
Speaker 1: were deliberating on which way to go and which way
Speaker 1: did you go? One came up that I thought was
Speaker 1: kind of cool, an audio wave, and the kid like
Speaker 1: painted the backdrop, and then an adult helped them see
Speaker 1: what their voice looked like. In garage band, as you know,
Speaker 1: is an old school program. A lot of computers have
Speaker 1: for recording voices. Is that still around garage band? Is
Speaker 1: that still? I think it is. Yeah, I don't think
Speaker 1: very many people use it, but I think it's still
Speaker 1: on some computers. But I'm like, hey, I could do that. Obviously,
Speaker 1: we do all this broadcasting every week. I'll just take
Speaker 1: my laptop in record these little kids. Show them what
Speaker 1: their voice looks like. They probably never have seen that.
Speaker 1: Start them young, right, show them exactly what a podcast
Speaker 1: looks like, the magic of audio content. They're pretty excited, Ben,
Speaker 1: because one by one I called them up to my
Speaker 1: desk and told him you could say anything you want.
Speaker 1: I just need a sentence from you. So it's kind
Speaker 1: of like, you know, station told you, Hey, we need
Speaker 1: a liner from you. Ben. You can say whatever you
Speaker 1: want in a sentence, and I put a little clause together.
Speaker 1: I am a dog named Dexter. I love to eat strawberries.
Speaker 1: I love in chilatics. Hi. My name is Melodie. I
Speaker 1: love fastball and soccer. My cat's name is Dassie. Yea.
Speaker 1: I love sence. My dog's name is Figgy. He fights
Speaker 1: so hard. My bunny's name is Mochi. I kicked a
Speaker 1: ball hard and soccer frist card go fast. My favorite
Speaker 1: sport is baseball. I love softball. I love pasta, I
Speaker 1: like water moons, I like lad I like baby chinchillas.
Speaker 1: I love this pactake so much. Died flag. That was like, Yeah,
Speaker 1: my name is Issibel and I make little dots. I
Speaker 1: like eating juicy steak. That's not the way I like
Speaker 1: the steak. I like mine well done, no juice, no yea.
Speaker 1: And the little girl in there that was that was
Speaker 1: a nod to Genie maybe in Medford, because not only
Speaker 1: did she talk about her cat, but she made the
Speaker 1: cat sound. What were cat's names? Bubby? Bubby was the
Speaker 1: That was the big one. I remembering Genie. We didn't
Speaker 1: think Bubby was real, and then at some point Bubby
Speaker 1: the cat for the greatest caller in the history of
Speaker 1: Fox Sports Radio. Genie Mefford, the cat wouldn't be there,
Speaker 1: and so then she said, tell me here, Bubby, and
Speaker 1: she like occasionally, she kicked the tail right, pulled the tail.
Speaker 1: That was the famous one. She pulled the tail and
Speaker 1: the cats screamed in agony from or Genie and Medford
Speaker 1: grabbing the cats till to get it to make noise.
Speaker 1: I do remember that that's funny. So maybe Genie is
Speaker 1: a little girl was just like this girl. And I
Speaker 1: think so this girl she definitely pulls her cat's tail.
Speaker 1: It was awesome to see their eyes light up when
Speaker 1: they saw what their voice looked like on the screen,
Speaker 1: and then when they heard their voice playback on the speaker.
Speaker 1: I would just tell him hit the space bar, hit
Speaker 1: the start, and then they started it and then they
Speaker 1: saw it moving, the cursor moving with their voice playing
Speaker 1: one kid though, Ben and I think we can both
Speaker 1: relate to this. I played his voice the second time
Speaker 1: and he and he looked at me and he's like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear my voice again. Yes, yes, absolutely,
Speaker 1: you know the voice. Hearing your voice back is very uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: It's like actors not wanting to watch their movie when
Speaker 1: it's done. Yeah, and The thing about that too is
Speaker 1: if you hear your own voice and like it, there's
Speaker 1: something wrong with you. I think I think there's a
Speaker 1: little something like you know. I just it's Cransworthy Royals
Speaker 1: having their problems on the road. I'm Ben Mallock. The
Speaker 1: other thing too about that is that's changed a lot.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's just where we work now, and I'm not
Speaker 1: complaining about it. But the air checks, back in the
Speaker 1: old days, I was always air checks, which you an
Speaker 1: air check is where you'd sit in the program director's
Speaker 1: office and they and back in the old days they
Speaker 1: get cassettes, but then they do DVDs. Now they do
Speaker 1: it on the computer and they bring up an hour,
Speaker 1: some random hour of your show and they play it
Speaker 1: and then they'd stop it and and they asked, well,
Speaker 1: why did you say that or what were you trying?
Speaker 1: At what point were you trying to make their shock Again,
Speaker 1: they would always pick the one hour where you have
Speaker 1: issues in the hour and had mistakes. Yeah, and it's
Speaker 1: very unpredictable. It was always a boon doggle when that happened.
Speaker 1: And I have some PTSD from those those air checks
Speaker 1: back in the day. But they don't I don't happen
Speaker 1: knock on wood much these days. Maybe Danny is just
Speaker 1: because we're so good. Maybe that's why it doesn't happen
Speaker 1: that much. Yeah, I'm sure that's not the reason. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: it's because of cod now could be. Yeah, well there's
Speaker 1: a positive for the COVID. There's a positive. Now. You
Speaker 1: got to mention those little kiddos if you see him again,
Speaker 1: that they will only remember about of what you tell them,
Speaker 1: all right. So I always blown away by that that
Speaker 1: they've done studies that say people only remember seventeen of
Speaker 1: things that they listened to, that the rest of it
Speaker 1: just gets lost in translation, and people are busy doing
Speaker 1: other stuff. That's wild. And you could tell who the
Speaker 1: little iPad nerds were of the of the four groups,
Speaker 1: because one kid named Jackson kept coming up to my
Speaker 1: desk and looking over my shoulder at other kids wave
Speaker 1: files and I was like, Man, this kid, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: slap him a ten dollar bill later this week and
Speaker 1: have him edit the podcast this weekend. Ready to go, Man,
Speaker 1: put the kid to work, Come on, get him an internship.
Speaker 1: Let's do it. WHOA, Yeah, that's funny. Back to the
Speaker 1: nonsense in my world. So Saturday it was a big
Speaker 1: travel that I mentioned on Friday that my cousin had COVID.
Speaker 1: I got this ridiculous box with this I don't know
Speaker 1: what to do with this mic arm thing. So then
Speaker 1: on Saturday we headed northbound and down and it was
Speaker 1: remember that Birthday weekend where the Mallarmobile shipped the bed
Speaker 1: there and they have that canceled as we were going
Speaker 1: out of town. So this was a temp number two
Speaker 1: up the California coast heading to the Hurst Castle and
Speaker 1: had a lengthy trip. I went to Santa Barbara, had
Speaker 1: a nice lunch. I love Santa Barbara. The American Riviera.
Speaker 1: It's if you can't afford to go to the Mediterranean Sea.
Speaker 1: It's just like it, except it's in in California. Beautiful. Uh.
Speaker 1: And went in Santa Barbara. You know what street, Danny,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you spent a lot of time
Speaker 1: in Santa Barbara, what street do you have to go
Speaker 1: to if you're in Santa Barbara. That's right, that's where
Speaker 1: all the actions and so I we were at State Street,
Speaker 1: showed down, I had a patty mill and then we
Speaker 1: headed over to the McConnell's ice Cream shop because my
Speaker 1: wife loves that place. Oh yeah, well local Santa Barbara
Speaker 1: ice cream, and so kept going there like waffle walk
Speaker 1: in it does. Yeah, and there's always a line out
Speaker 1: the door, no matter when you go, there's always a
Speaker 1: line out the door. And it was really busy because
Speaker 1: it was the weekend, so that we kept going, slipped
Speaker 1: past Solving, did not go to Solving or Buleton. I
Speaker 1: would have loved to have got my wife not a fan,
Speaker 1: and she she's she was not in the mood. So
Speaker 1: we skipped Solving and headed to Santa Maria. Now why
Speaker 1: did I go to Santa Maria to no, something more valuable,
Speaker 1: something more expensive than tried tip gas? Because yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Costco gas station in Santa Maria, right off the freeway there.
Speaker 1: And uh, the reason I had to get gas is
Speaker 1: because I took the gas guzzler, the backup mallardmobile, not
Speaker 1: taking a chance on the more fuel efficient car which
Speaker 1: broke down. Because we still haven't gotten fixed. They didn't
Speaker 1: know what exactly was wrong with it. It may or
Speaker 1: may not be something with the politic converter that broke.
Speaker 1: But but anyway, so we we went and got gas
Speaker 1: and I had to make it because the gas station
Speaker 1: closes early on Saturday, not as early on Sunday, but
Speaker 1: as Sunday. So we made it there, got to gas
Speaker 1: back in the mallonmobile and then the whis like, well,
Speaker 1: i'll go to the each So we we said, okay,
Speaker 1: I know the beaches here, so we'll go to Pismo
Speaker 1: because Pismos on the way. Santa Maria then Pismo legendary spot.
Speaker 1: So we pulled into Pismo and you know how there's
Speaker 1: that cartoon or the the cloud that follows around the
Speaker 1: cartoon character were just raining on top of them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's Pismo. So we get there and there's a hand
Speaker 1: to got a massive fog bank that has landed right
Speaker 1: at Pismo because it was like ninety degrees on the highway.
Speaker 1: By the time we got the Pismo beach, it was
Speaker 1: in the fifties and so was like, wow, that's too cold.
Speaker 1: I don't want to go to the US dot beach weather.
Speaker 1: So it was more like England. So then we headed
Speaker 1: back on the road. We went past San Louis Obispo
Speaker 1: more on that in a minute, and headed to where
Speaker 1: your your loved ones are there any Moral bay? N Yeah,
Speaker 1: I went to the Moral Rock there. Look at our
Speaker 1: lives aligning. That's exactly where my girl's family and she
Speaker 1: and all the kids and cousins are right now. Very cool,
Speaker 1: and it's a beautiful place. There's this massive rocket looks
Speaker 1: like a turtles shell. It's almost six hundred feet tall.
Speaker 1: There's an old nuclear reactor that's not being used anymore
Speaker 1: right now, yes, and right in the mouth of the harbor.
Speaker 1: And so we get there and you know, sure, if
Speaker 1: there's fogg and Pismo, there was even more fog and
Speaker 1: Moral Moral Bay and that place is I don't think
Speaker 1: I've been there more than twice over the years where
Speaker 1: it's not foggy, and so it's cool and foggy, and
Speaker 1: even though it's in central California, it's Northern California weather.
Speaker 1: And but we did stop to see the very famous
Speaker 1: creatures that you see every time you go to Morrow
Speaker 1: Bay in California, those sea otters. Oh yeah, and they
Speaker 1: they're always cleaning themselves. They're the most clean animals, these
Speaker 1: sea otters, and they all hang out in the same
Speaker 1: area and it's pretty cool cleaning and spitting and yeah,
Speaker 1: people's come check them out for a few minutes, then
Speaker 1: get back on the road, and we got back on
Speaker 1: the road and but I I'd love to see and
Speaker 1: we headed to the final destination, at least the furthest
Speaker 1: north we went, which was the William Randolph Hurst Memorial Beach,
Speaker 1: right across from the famous first castle, Herst Castle. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it looked like it was. We didn't go to Herst
Speaker 1: Castle though, we just went. I love the beach there.
Speaker 1: There's this this kind of rickety pier you can walk across,
Speaker 1: and so we were there hanging out for a little bit.
Speaker 1: There was a big disappointment though, Danny, because we attempted
Speaker 1: to use the facilities at the beach there, and they
Speaker 1: had really they had really nice bathrooms, like indoor bathrooms
Speaker 1: at the beach, but they were closed and they brought
Speaker 1: out these porta potties, which is one of the five
Speaker 1: worst things I've ever witnessed. Walking into that porta potty
Speaker 1: that had been I assume used all day Friday and
Speaker 1: all day Saturday by the time I got there, and
Speaker 1: the smell, the visual, the it made me feel horrible
Speaker 1: to be a human being that other human beings had
Speaker 1: done that, and some weren't even trying to hit the bowl.
Speaker 1: They were just doing you know, whatever they wanted on
Speaker 1: the walls. There was feces in the air everywhere. It's
Speaker 1: as close as you can get to a murder scene. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It kind of reminded me of when I had my
Speaker 1: unfortunate ball ball gall bladder accident. When I was walking
Speaker 1: and I thought I could make it to the bathroom
Speaker 1: and actually during the beginning of COVID, where I tried
Speaker 1: to squat, I did the squatty potty over the toilet
Speaker 1: and I missed somehow. I thought I nailed the drop
Speaker 1: the bomb drop, but I didn't nail it properly and
Speaker 1: it was terrible. But this was like everybody was doing.
Speaker 1: It's crazy. So then we headed back towards San Louis Obispo.
Speaker 1: Danny and my wife left her favorite place. I've talked
Speaker 1: about this before. We've both talked about, I think together
Speaker 1: on the podcast Madonna in She loves the Madonna and
Speaker 1: very gaudy, over the top circus, circus for adults all that.
Speaker 1: But the place was booked up, so we couldn't get
Speaker 1: a room. Busy summer, thank god, haunted. Yeah, So, but
Speaker 1: she wanted to manga on some pink champagne cake. This
Speaker 1: is like the cake that's like ten ft tall with
Speaker 1: the frosting all over. It's really good Gake and his legendary.
Speaker 1: So we settled into the diner only to be gobsmacked.
Speaker 1: We got there around eight o'clock the restaurant I think
Speaker 1: it was eight thirty or not, actually might have been nine,
Speaker 1: and the restaurant closed like an hour later. They were
Speaker 1: completely sold out of this cake. We had driven far
Speaker 1: far away to get this stupid freaking cake and we
Speaker 1: ordered the cake and they say, well, how any cake?
Speaker 1: So how do you not have cake? I mean that
Speaker 1: you're known for the cake. And the waitress is like, well,
Speaker 1: I've worked here for you know, a million years. This
Speaker 1: has never happened before. But we saw their last piece
Speaker 1: of cake like three hours ago. It's like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you gotta be joking. And uh yeah, it's like, wouldn't
Speaker 1: you make more cake? How hard is it to make
Speaker 1: a cake? Your people on the bakery, wouldn't you make
Speaker 1: more cake? I ate at Wood Ranch Restaurant. They're known
Speaker 1: for their try tip and ribs and meat and stuff
Speaker 1: like that. I ordered baby back ribs. Oh sorry, we're
Speaker 1: out of We're all out of ribs tonight. How are
Speaker 1: you gonna be out of ribs and not just a
Speaker 1: baby back. They were out of all ribs. That's bad planning.
Speaker 1: Now they'll blame supply chain issues, right, that's what they blame,
Speaker 1: the supply chain. But a cake. They make the cake.
Speaker 1: They have a bakery like the rib. I get the
Speaker 1: rib thing. I guess if everyone bought ribs, but a bakery.
Speaker 1: You just throw some flour and sugar and whatever else.
Speaker 1: You mix it together and you've got a cake that's
Speaker 1: like McDonald's having their ice cream machine broken down. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree, I'm I'm right there. And but then we
Speaker 1: were like, we drove all this way. My wife loves
Speaker 1: the hotel, so we're like, let's order some food at
Speaker 1: the at the at the diner. Now. She didn't give
Speaker 1: me the option not to order food, but it's like,
Speaker 1: we're here, you might as well order food. Now. The diner,
Speaker 1: let's just say they're known for their cake. They're known
Speaker 1: for the cake. And and I thought I had ordered
Speaker 1: the safest thing on the menu, Danny, I ordered a
Speaker 1: Ruben sandwich. How do you funk up a Ruben sand
Speaker 1: This is a staple of delicate tests and it's the
Speaker 1: corned beef, the Swiss cheese, Thousand Island dressing. It's not kosher,
Speaker 1: but it's a Jewish delis They serve this other time.
Speaker 1: So corn beef, Swiss cheese, little thousand Island dressing, two
Speaker 1: slices of rye bread boom done usually have sauer kraut.
Speaker 1: I don't like sour krauss. I had no sour. Whoever
Speaker 1: made this monstrosity of a sandwich should never be allowed
Speaker 1: to work in a kitchen again clearly not a member
Speaker 1: of the tribe or any tribe for that matter. This
Speaker 1: thing was so bad it was essentially danny a corn
Speaker 1: beef sandwich dry, no thousand Island dressing. They put Swiss
Speaker 1: cheese on it, but it was not melted, so it
Speaker 1: was just a corn beef sandwich with cold Swiss cheese.
Speaker 1: But that's not a ruben a ruben has. It's the
Speaker 1: cheese is grilled on there with the corn beef. So
Speaker 1: never again, one and done on that, and then we
Speaker 1: headed back to the Mallard mansion. Believe we put seven
Speaker 1: hundred miles the seven miles on the mallonmobile on that
Speaker 1: little sojourn real quick. So Sunday do the full weekend.
Speaker 1: The reason I was not on the radio on Sunday
Speaker 1: is I was requested to take the day off. It
Speaker 1: was the wedding anniversary. Damn, this is something you're gonna
Speaker 1: have to deal with when you get married. Here the
Speaker 1: wedding anniversary, very important day. So the sergeant gave you
Speaker 1: orders exactly. I never take days off. I said, I'm
Speaker 1: off from work. We should take the day And I said, okay,
Speaker 1: I'll take the day off. And she requested it, and
Speaker 1: so that's why I was not in the kaw berd seat.
Speaker 1: And uh, we had the same wedding cake we had back. No,
Speaker 1: this is number nine. So nine years ago I got
Speaker 1: married and it really worked out well. We this this.
Speaker 1: You ever been to Dukes by the Beach there? Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's location of Malibu, Mallaboo Boo, Huntington's Beach and Diego.
Speaker 1: The night I got married, we eloped, so we didn't
Speaker 1: have a big ceremony or anything like that. So we
Speaker 1: didn't have a wedding cake. My mom actually had bought
Speaker 1: one bless her Soul when we got back. But the
Speaker 1: night of the wedding, we were like, we need to
Speaker 1: eat some cake. It's not a wedding without cake. So
Speaker 1: we ended up we actually originally went to a different restaurant,
Speaker 1: which was terrible. We ended up at Duke's in Kauaii
Speaker 1: and had there it's called the Hula pie, which is
Speaker 1: like an ice cream cake pie thing, and that was
Speaker 1: our That was our wedding cake. And so every year
Speaker 1: we get to eat it because there's a bunch of
Speaker 1: locations around here. And you were taking it out of
Speaker 1: your own freezer at home like some people do. Oh no, god,
Speaker 1: no no. Uh we saved it for like a year
Speaker 1: and that was it. But uh no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1: And then uh we were at the beach and headed
Speaker 1: down to the O C Fair. Then that's going on right,
Speaker 1: the Orange County Fair. Dogs. Yeah, it was opening weekend
Speaker 1: and man, I had not been to a fair in
Speaker 1: several years. Nobody really had because they hadn't had fairs
Speaker 1: because the COVID right looked around here, so endless food
Speaker 1: rides other nonsense are But my my eyeballs and the
Speaker 1: wife's eyeballs were bigger than our stomachs because we had
Speaker 1: we had the blooming onion rip off version of the
Speaker 1: booming onion, and then man, that's a big corn dog.
Speaker 1: I like the extended winer these corn dogs. And I
Speaker 1: don't want to exaggerate. I don't want to be over
Speaker 1: the top and all that stuff, because I don't be
Speaker 1: a shocked. These were the size of a draft. Okay,
Speaker 1: the neck of a draft was the corn dog. And uh,
Speaker 1: and I had some lemonade and then we had to
Speaker 1: call it. I was planning on eating all this other stuff, Danny,
Speaker 1: But I guess I've just reached the point now where
Speaker 1: I my eyeballs are a little bit bigger than my stomach.
Speaker 1: You're stomach shrunk over the years. Yeah, man, I wish
Speaker 1: I could have eaten some more stuff, but I have to.
Speaker 1: And we made the rookie mistake. Now, if you're gonna go,
Speaker 1: here's my advice for you. If you're gonna go to
Speaker 1: the county fair, the state fair where you live. I
Speaker 1: made a rookie mistake. You know what my rookie mistake was.
Speaker 1: I ate lunch. That was my rookie mistake. You don't
Speaker 1: eat lunch before you go to the fair. You have
Speaker 1: to go on an empty tank exactly. You gotta fill
Speaker 1: that thing up. And if you go there you got
Speaker 1: food in there. You gotta go in there starving, and
Speaker 1: I didn't go in there starving. That's a bad job
Speaker 1: by me, real quick. The backscratcher, you scratch our bag,
Speaker 1: we'll scratch your back. And this week, how many do
Speaker 1: we get Danny? Not one? Not too how about three? Yea?
Speaker 1: Including a guy that loves you and hates me? Rebel
Speaker 1: Vikings says the fifth hour, Danny G makes the show,
Speaker 1: not the Manning loathing band. Uh oh. He likes Peyton Manning,
Speaker 1: cut at me, wants me to be a fanboy for
Speaker 1: Peyton Manning, but he gave us five stars. Thank you
Speaker 1: for that. Windsor in Cowboy interesting, says Folgers. The best
Speaker 1: part of waking up is Ben Maller and Danny G
Speaker 1: in your cup. So wake up for yourself the latest
Speaker 1: episode and enjoy in cooking with Roberto's voice, says Windsor
Speaker 1: in Cowboy, which I do not believe is the real
Speaker 1: cowboy in Windsor, I believe this is a parody account
Speaker 1: for Cowboy and Windsor, but thank you for that. There
Speaker 1: was no mention of anybody dying in that message, so
Speaker 1: can't be the real cowboy. It's a fair point. He
Speaker 1: also did not mention his seventh grade science teachers Dennist. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and what I said today is the fiftieth anniversary of
Speaker 1: my uncle being murdered. Yes, yes, there's always at and
Speaker 1: the last one in the backscratcher. If you want us
Speaker 1: to read your review, then just post a review on
Speaker 1: the podcast dot Apple dot com and then find the
Speaker 1: Fifth Hour. Go to the Apple podcast page and you
Speaker 1: can put a review in there for the fifth Hour
Speaker 1: and we will read it on the show. You take
Speaker 1: the time out of your schedule to do that, we
Speaker 1: will take time out of our podcast to do that
Speaker 1: as well. Last one comes from lfc Red's fan says
Speaker 1: I love the Fifth Hour, five stars. This is the
Speaker 1: Ben Mallard Show unplugged, Danny g is the perfect edition.
Speaker 1: Their banter is entertaining but also interesting. Love hearing about
Speaker 1: Danny's experiences as a teacher. Totally recommend this for pop culture,
Speaker 1: humor and life experience. Thank you for sending the reviews
Speaker 1: and we appreciate it. Thank you for those three reviews,
Speaker 1: even the one that didn't like Ben Well, I love you.
Speaker 1: The people in Houston doll like I know that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just the astro fans, That's about it. Yeah, But like
Speaker 1: the sky was falling when you didn't come in on
Speaker 1: early Monday morning, I was still there at the studios.
Speaker 1: You should have heard the first few callers, the first
Speaker 1: few tweets. I felt bad for Bernie because he's you know,
Speaker 1: it's an uphill climb for that guy, because people are like,
Speaker 1: you're screwing up my my routine. I have to hear
Speaker 1: beds voice while I'm working. Well, it's very kind that
Speaker 1: people miss me, but at the same time, you gotta
Speaker 1: show some respect that Bernie's a radio professional, and you
Speaker 1: gotta give Bernie a chance. And I know it's awkward
Speaker 1: because I don't usually take any time off, so when
Speaker 1: I do, it's people people think I'm sick. I got
Speaker 1: fired one of those deals. Yeah, it's one of those two.
Speaker 1: So emergency dental situation, well I did have. That's the
Speaker 1: last time I had to miss day was a dental studday.
Speaker 1: We gotta get out of here. Anything to promote Danny
Speaker 1: g anything at all you would like to promote. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go back to bed for a couple of hours
Speaker 1: and then wake my ass up, drive into the FSR
Speaker 1: studios for Hartman and Shorts, and then after that it
Speaker 1: will be the no Show with from Salam and that
Speaker 1: is your day in the Magic Radio Box all day long.
Speaker 1: All right, we'll get out of here on that. Have
Speaker 1: a one rest of your day today on Saturday, and
Speaker 1: we'll have a big a dish of the mailbag, a
Speaker 1: classic mail bag, which is just like that line from
Speaker 1: Forrest Gump, you never know what you're gonna get in
Speaker 1: the mail bag. So we'll get to that tomorrow. Have
Speaker 1: a great rest of your day. We'll talk to you
Speaker 1: then later Skater Bofolation