1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, a practicing physician and blogger. 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: On the side, we are two working parents who love 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: our careers and our families. Welcome to Best of both Worlds. 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:33,880 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to Best of both Worlds. 10 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,959 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode two hundred and forty two, 11 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,720 Speaker 1: which is first airing in late March of twenty twenty two. 12 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:44,760 Speaker 1: Sarah and I are actually here together in person recording this, 13 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: which is what we're going to be talking about today. 14 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,559 Speaker 1: We are on a little best of both Worlds retreat, 15 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:54,120 Speaker 1: which is very exciting. Oh, we're doing this, so Sarah, 16 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 1: maybe you could start talking it. You've done a few 17 00:00:56,200 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 1: retreats in the past, whatever your retreats been. Yeah, most 18 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 1: of the retreats that I have done have been with Josh. 19 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,160 Speaker 1: I don't know that I've ever done one entirely alone, 20 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,479 Speaker 1: unless you count perhaps going to conferences for work, which 21 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 1: sometimes can have a retreat like feel to it. But 22 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 1: Josh and I have done these short, like two or 23 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 1: three day trips that are really too short to call 24 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,440 Speaker 1: a full on vacation, but they just feel like a 25 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,280 Speaker 1: little break and we often have a sort of planning 26 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:26,960 Speaker 1: or scheming component, or it'll just be like, literally, we 27 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 1: just want to relax and not be woken up by children, 28 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:32,839 Speaker 1: so that can be the only goal. But we've enjoyed 29 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,560 Speaker 1: doing one actually in the same place where we are 30 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:39,160 Speaker 1: right now, which we'll talk about in October. We've gone 31 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 1: like to the Keys for retreats. We have gone to 32 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:46,040 Speaker 1: the western coast of Florida. So our retreats tend to be. Luckily, 33 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 1: there's a lot of very retreat worthy destination, so you 34 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 1: are in a vacation destination. It's not that hard to 35 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 1: find somewhere. Yeah, so we've had some really lovely ones. 36 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:59,640 Speaker 1: I was talking about how we had a retreat in 37 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:05,080 Speaker 1: twenty sixteen in Austin, Texas, where I believe my mission 38 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: was to convince Josh we needed to have another child, 39 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:13,520 Speaker 1: and clearly it worked. Yeah, the intention of the retreat 40 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 1: was meant. I don't know if that was truly the intention, 41 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 1: but I just remember that, like I guess, I was 42 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: having more and more feelings and we went on this 43 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 1: trip and I was like, Okay, let's talk about it 44 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 1: for real, and then yeah we did. All right, good, well, 45 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:28,560 Speaker 1: great we have Genevieve. That's good. Yeah. I've mostly done 46 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:32,840 Speaker 1: mine solo because I've been doing writing retreats, or more specifically, 47 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:37,240 Speaker 1: there are editing retreats. So when I am writing a book, 48 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: I often like to be able to edit it. So 49 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:44,160 Speaker 1: if I'm in a spot where I'm close to done 50 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,240 Speaker 1: that I've written the manuscript, I've gone through and done 51 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:48,400 Speaker 1: initial edits and all that, and I really am at 52 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:51,239 Speaker 1: the point where I want to get through the whole 53 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: manuscript as a you know, as a cohesive thing without 54 00:02:55,680 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 1: mental interruption. I will take a tonight up and use 55 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:05,200 Speaker 1: that time to focus solely on editing it and usually 56 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:08,080 Speaker 1: can go through the entire manuscript sort of start to 57 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 1: end within that timeframe and get it done. So I 58 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:15,080 Speaker 1: first did this actually with some fiction. I wrote a 59 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,640 Speaker 1: novel called The Courtland Boys. I tried this back in 60 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:20,839 Speaker 1: twenty fourteen and actually went to the little town where 61 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:25,120 Speaker 1: it is theoretically set in jim Thorpe, Pennsylvania. Then I 62 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:28,680 Speaker 1: did a writing retreat with Off the Clock when I 63 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,960 Speaker 1: was you know, in the editing stage of that. I 64 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:35,840 Speaker 1: went to a ski resort near where we live, was 65 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,320 Speaker 1: about an hour and a half away, but it was 66 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 1: off season. It was in the summer, and so it 67 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:44,640 Speaker 1: was just you know, a pretty hiking, mountainous area. But curiously, 68 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:48,400 Speaker 1: while I was there is when I read a certain 69 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: blog post from a certain other blogger who mentioned she 70 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,400 Speaker 1: was thinking of starting a podcast. So I was like, 71 00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:58,400 Speaker 1: I was in the mental space to you know, think, hey, 72 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 1: we should do that. Curiously, Also on that retreat, I 73 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 1: got an email from my publisher that they were thinking 74 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 1: of doing a fable and was interested if I wanted 75 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 1: to think about that, and that, you know, a couple 76 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 1: years later, Juliete School of Possibilities was the result of that. 77 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 1: So there's a lot that came out of that retreat. 78 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 1: And then I didn't on this past fall to edit 79 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 1: Tranquility by Tuesday, and I went to Cape May and 80 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,160 Speaker 1: stayed in a hotel on the beach there but in October, 81 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,680 Speaker 1: so it was you know, off season, and did a 82 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:27,920 Speaker 1: lot of walking on the beach and then in between 83 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:31,920 Speaker 1: that editing the book. That is amazing. It's true your mind. 84 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,760 Speaker 1: I think when you get that break from routine. And 85 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:38,200 Speaker 1: I live such a rigid routine most of the time, 86 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 1: just out of necessity the way my job works. And 87 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,920 Speaker 1: when you have enough kids, you kind of fall into 88 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,520 Speaker 1: some pretty deep grooves. And getting out of that does 89 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,760 Speaker 1: give you the freedom to think about possibilities that you 90 00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:52,839 Speaker 1: probably you know, might brush away as being too busy. Otherwise, 91 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 1: it seems things seem more possible. Okay, maybe that's why 92 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,960 Speaker 1: you were like, Oh, so here we are. Yes, four 93 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,680 Speaker 1: and a half years later, Yes, on a current retreat 94 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:05,080 Speaker 1: right now. We've recorded a few in person episodes, but 95 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:08,560 Speaker 1: not that many, and we attempted to do some in 96 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 1: twenty nineteen when I was in Florida and we failed 97 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,039 Speaker 1: to hit record. Oh yeah, we did, like a couple too. 98 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: That was sad. That was a sad moment that was said. 99 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:20,920 Speaker 1: We were also supposed to go abroad yes, in June 100 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 1: of twenty twenty, which did not happen, sadly enough, But 101 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:27,359 Speaker 1: you know, I'm sure we will do that at some point. 102 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:31,320 Speaker 1: But we're enjoying being here in Florida together. So hello 103 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:35,320 Speaker 1: from Vero Beach, Florida. Yes, and if you are a softworty, 104 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,680 Speaker 1: I'm looking for a very low key place to be. 105 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:40,960 Speaker 1: This is a really nice, easy destination. It's about a 106 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,560 Speaker 1: two hour drive from Fort Lauderdale area, and it is 107 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 1: it is pretty as relaxed as it gets. Like. The 108 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,719 Speaker 1: keys are a little more. There's more people like partying. 109 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 1: But here's just like a lot of retirees and I 110 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 1: don't know us us, Yes, just as far as we 111 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:57,200 Speaker 1: can tell, we were the perhaps the youngest people at 112 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 1: our restaurant last night. But that's great. That's great because 113 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: they had no it's not a bad feeling at all. 114 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,359 Speaker 1: They were having a great time and so were we. 115 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:05,720 Speaker 1: So yeah, we had to plan for a while to 116 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:10,520 Speaker 1: make this happen, obviously meshing two schedules. You know, it's 117 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 1: not that hard to fly down to Florida, but you 118 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 1: have to make it happen and make sure we both 119 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:18,039 Speaker 1: had child care and place. There's some things that have 120 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 1: had to Neither of us has the exact normal schedule 121 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:25,440 Speaker 1: right now because Josh is off with one of your 122 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,760 Speaker 1: kids somewhere else and so he's having some time away 123 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:33,080 Speaker 1: with one kid, and r nanny has needed this Friday 124 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 1: off for something, so we have a sort of substitute 125 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:38,640 Speaker 1: arrangement for part of the time. But yeah, it's you know, 126 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 1: worth doing. I mean, it's totally worth doing, and it 127 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:46,760 Speaker 1: does require some planning, and you know people who are 128 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 1: reverse to that it is going to be hard to 129 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:50,320 Speaker 1: get away if you do have kids, but I think 130 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 1: it is very much worth it, and then you can 131 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 1: spend some time on your retreat planning your next retreat. Yeah. No, 132 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,720 Speaker 1: But the thing is, if you're waiting for the perfect time, 133 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,080 Speaker 1: there's never going to be a perfect time, Like there's 134 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:03,600 Speaker 1: not some time that magically you'll have three days where 135 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 1: you have nothing going on, and so you are able 136 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:11,680 Speaker 1: to say, oh, retreat, let's do that. But you know, 137 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 1: life will still be there afterwards. And I find that 138 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:17,960 Speaker 1: time tends to be fairly elastic that when you put 139 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,320 Speaker 1: stuff in, I mean you still feel behind afterwards, but 140 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,440 Speaker 1: no more or less than you were before. When we 141 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 1: say that is behind for the rest of our lives, 142 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:27,800 Speaker 1: I'm not caught up an email. Well, of course I 143 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,200 Speaker 1: still won't be afterwards, but I wouldn't be otherwise either, 144 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:34,680 Speaker 1: So there you go. Better to just take the trip sometimes, 145 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 1: so there are a lot of components to a good 146 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:42,400 Speaker 1: retreat that might be helpful for people to keep in mind. 147 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 1: If you are deciding to do this, one of the 148 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 1: best things you can do is to have an intention 149 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 1: for the retreat. And the intention can absolutely be relaxing, 150 00:07:55,240 --> 00:08:01,360 Speaker 1: you know, rejuvenating, just being away from constant responsibilities like that. 151 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 1: Those are all good intentions, but you want to know 152 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:06,960 Speaker 1: that's what you're going in with because if that's your intention, 153 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:09,160 Speaker 1: then you're not going to say, plan your next year 154 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:12,120 Speaker 1: while you're on your retreat. Whereas if your intention is 155 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 1: to plan your next year, then maybe you aren't quite so, 156 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:19,120 Speaker 1: you know, set on having the rejuvenation relaxation time, So 157 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 1: make sure you have some sort of intention. What else? 158 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:27,520 Speaker 1: What would you say that? For me, a very key 159 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 1: portion of any retreat is the autonomy. And I think 160 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,439 Speaker 1: you know, many of us spend a lot of our 161 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:37,520 Speaker 1: lives answering to many others, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. 162 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 1: But you have kids that need you, you have a 163 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,200 Speaker 1: partner that might need you, you have job things that 164 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:45,240 Speaker 1: need you. And for me, the retreat, I think the 165 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,720 Speaker 1: biggest appeal is just being able to be like I'm out, 166 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:53,199 Speaker 1: like I will spend my day, my forty eight hours 167 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:57,320 Speaker 1: how I want, and everything can wait. And just that 168 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,959 Speaker 1: autonomy can feel really therapeutic, like remind me that I 169 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 1: am my own person and that I can carve out 170 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 1: some time to do what I want with it, And 171 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 1: so that's really valuable to me. That's like probably the 172 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,439 Speaker 1: most important. And that's why to some extent I find 173 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,600 Speaker 1: that when I go to conferences, I get that retreat 174 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,320 Speaker 1: feel because I'm kind of in charge of myself. No, yes, 175 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 1: there may be a schedule for the conference, but I 176 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 1: can go to which portions I would like and wake 177 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 1: up when I would like, and et cetera. The waking 178 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:26,319 Speaker 1: up when you like is a is a great, huge, huge, 179 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:28,720 Speaker 1: But going to bed when without you know, fighting anyone 180 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:30,920 Speaker 1: else to go to bed, and sometimes that in and 181 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:34,280 Speaker 1: of itself, especially if really little kids, is exciting that like, 182 00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:35,800 Speaker 1: I'm going to go to bed at this time and 183 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:38,040 Speaker 1: I am ninety nine percent sure that I will not 184 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,719 Speaker 1: be up for anything until I mean, you know, who knows. 185 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:42,400 Speaker 1: You can always have a fire alarm in your hotel, 186 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 1: but most likely it will be thankfully no fire alarms, 187 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:49,840 Speaker 1: ask me time. Although to that aside, two nights ago, 188 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 1: we had a false like burglar alarm going out one am. 189 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:56,320 Speaker 1: That was super fun. So anyway, I need the rest 190 00:09:56,400 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 1: even more than usual. All Right, So that was scroll 191 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:04,320 Speaker 1: down here in our notes we're in one spot and 192 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,400 Speaker 1: so I'm like, ah, this is how does Sarah operate 193 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:10,760 Speaker 1: her notes here? I'm like hitting her computer anyway, So 194 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,400 Speaker 1: I was just going to say that I love my 195 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:16,680 Speaker 1: retreats to have some element of nature. Usually exercise plays 196 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:18,679 Speaker 1: a part, Like I do like to work out unless 197 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,200 Speaker 1: I'm just super super tired and I just want to 198 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:24,040 Speaker 1: purposely relax. But and then yeah, something to reflect on 199 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,720 Speaker 1: some kind of question I'm working with. Maybe, Yeah, So 200 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:30,080 Speaker 1: my intentions have obviously been to edit the manuscript most 201 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,400 Speaker 1: of the time when I'm going through, but yeah, I 202 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:34,440 Speaker 1: like to go somewhere that's pretty as well. I mean, 203 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:38,080 Speaker 1: I'm sure you can not be somewhere pretty, but you know, 204 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 1: why not. If you're trying to think deep thoughts, you 205 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:44,040 Speaker 1: may as well have something that's inspiring while you're there. 206 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:48,800 Speaker 1: I also just like to do something physical every day 207 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 1: just as a way of processing thoughts. And so, you know, 208 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,240 Speaker 1: running on the beach in Cape may Or running. I 209 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 1: did a hike at that bare mountain place and through 210 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,120 Speaker 1: their old their cross country trails that are through the 211 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,079 Speaker 1: hills and the woods there. Kind of got a little 212 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,760 Speaker 1: lost in once. So it made a slightly longer walk 213 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,080 Speaker 1: I hike, though I was wound up hiking like six 214 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:11,520 Speaker 1: miles as opposed to thinking I was doing like three. 215 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:15,079 Speaker 1: I made it. I survived, just like we survived this morning. 216 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:18,080 Speaker 1: We survived this morning rather hot and sunny beach. Oh, yes, 217 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 1: we ran on the beach, which Florida is something for running. 218 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 1: Sarah was saying, like, we got to go early, like 219 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:25,960 Speaker 1: we gotta go and you know, this can't be a 220 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 1: midday thing. And I am quite aware of why it 221 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,000 Speaker 1: wasn't even that early, but yeah, it was not kind 222 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,800 Speaker 1: of bit bad if we had waited until noon or something. Yeah. Yeah, 223 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:36,800 Speaker 1: So why don't we take a quick ad break and 224 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:51,800 Speaker 1: then we would be back more talking about logistics. So 225 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:55,440 Speaker 1: we are back talking about all things retreats, how you 226 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,679 Speaker 1: can take many retreats in your busy life and make 227 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:01,040 Speaker 1: it work, and what might make it move productive and 228 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:04,199 Speaker 1: fulfilling for you. We are recording this on our Best 229 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,840 Speaker 1: of Both Worlds retreat here in Vero Beach, Florida, in 230 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 1: the same room using the same microphone. It is very exciting. 231 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 1: It was still on squadcast though, but we're just seeing 232 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:16,240 Speaker 1: each other face to face as opposed to seeing one 233 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:20,839 Speaker 1: way dude. So a couple of things that the logistics. 234 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,679 Speaker 1: I think we both figured out that two nights is 235 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,800 Speaker 1: kind of the minimum. I mean, I if the choice 236 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,839 Speaker 1: is not to have any retreat or a smaller one, 237 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:32,120 Speaker 1: I mean, you certainly can take many, many retreats, like 238 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:36,960 Speaker 1: micro retreats, which could be during work days, childcare. You 239 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,720 Speaker 1: know that instead of going to work, you go somewhere 240 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:43,960 Speaker 1: else I don't know, library, coffee shop, spa, spa. Especially 241 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,560 Speaker 1: if your goal is relaxation, that could certainly be helpful. 242 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,240 Speaker 1: Or go for a long hike or something like that, 243 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,439 Speaker 1: get out into nature and have that time off. That 244 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:57,160 Speaker 1: would be wonderful. But in many cases, if it is possible, 245 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,680 Speaker 1: having the two nights away really puts you in a 246 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:03,760 Speaker 1: separate mindset because there's at least one full day that 247 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:07,280 Speaker 1: you are not traveling and that you are not dealing 248 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:11,560 Speaker 1: with the household stuff, whereas one night, like you're going 249 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,240 Speaker 1: to have to leave on that day, so you still 250 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,120 Speaker 1: have that time that you know you're going to have 251 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,840 Speaker 1: to depart on the day that you're there, even coming 252 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:21,839 Speaker 1: from the day before. So two nights is kind of 253 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 1: the minimum for having that separate mental space. And I 254 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,880 Speaker 1: will say that during the week can be kind of 255 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,520 Speaker 1: more doable, at least for me compared to the weekend, 256 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,760 Speaker 1: mostly just because the willingness of our nanny to like 257 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:40,000 Speaker 1: do overnight coverage during the week is higher than her 258 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,400 Speaker 1: doing so on the weekend, although she's done that too. 259 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,800 Speaker 1: Sometimes she'll take our kids to her house or things 260 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:47,679 Speaker 1: like that. But often the week works well because your 261 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:49,800 Speaker 1: kids are in school or e maybe aftercare, so the 262 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:52,360 Speaker 1: childcare burden on somebody else is going to be lower, 263 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,720 Speaker 1: and then you can take paid time well, depending on 264 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:56,400 Speaker 1: what kind of job you have. If you are more 265 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,439 Speaker 1: of a freelancer than I guess you have your own 266 00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:01,080 Speaker 1: autonomy over that. But for me, it's nice for me 267 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,360 Speaker 1: to be like I'm on pl I put a million 268 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,960 Speaker 1: away messages up, like I really tried to like this 269 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:10,320 Speaker 1: time it didn't entirely work. That's okay to really wall 270 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,680 Speaker 1: it off and be like I'm away for these three days, 271 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:15,440 Speaker 1: and then you know, then you might get home to 272 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,600 Speaker 1: your family for the weekend and you're in a more 273 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,320 Speaker 1: relaxed state and you don't have to like jump back 274 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:20,840 Speaker 1: into the workday. So I don't know, I love the 275 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 1: Wednesday to Friday as kind of a nice window, and 276 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:25,680 Speaker 1: that's what we did this time. Yeah, yeah, I've done 277 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:28,280 Speaker 1: Wednesday to Friday or like Tuesday to Thursday, because I 278 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:31,640 Speaker 1: agree during the week has some upsides. I mean, many 279 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 1: people already have done some sort of work travel during 280 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:38,080 Speaker 1: the week, so there is a process in place for 281 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,680 Speaker 1: figuring out how coverage works. It is less of a 282 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:45,120 Speaker 1: burden on your partner if you have one, or if 283 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,000 Speaker 1: you do not, or if your partner travels too then 284 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 1: maybe you need some sort of additional coverage, but it's 285 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:54,760 Speaker 1: less in addition to what you already probably have, and 286 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:57,520 Speaker 1: so you know, it just winds up being a little 287 00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:01,240 Speaker 1: bit easier on the other people involved than taking off 288 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:06,480 Speaker 1: a weekend. You know, we are I would say, don't 289 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:11,160 Speaker 1: try anything too ambitious in terms of traveling. I flew 290 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:13,960 Speaker 1: to Florida, but we are not far from you know, 291 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,040 Speaker 1: it's a two hour drive from the airport or from 292 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:20,040 Speaker 1: Sarah's house, I guess. And you know, when I've done 293 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:25,240 Speaker 1: these writing retreats. The destinations I chose jim thorpe Baar, Mountain, 294 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,600 Speaker 1: Cape May are all within a two hour drive of 295 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,000 Speaker 1: my house. And again, the reason is that if you 296 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,160 Speaker 1: are going to get this time off, you want to 297 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:35,680 Speaker 1: spend less of it in transit and more of it 298 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:39,960 Speaker 1: in the state of pursuing whatever intention you are you 299 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 1: are trying to get to. Yes, and I'm sure almost 300 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:47,120 Speaker 1: every state has some kind of vacation like destination, you know, 301 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,880 Speaker 1: within a couple of hours drive. Yeah, because it doesn't 302 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 1: have to be high budget. So, I mean, it doesn't 303 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,840 Speaker 1: really have to be. I like, going someplace that's pretty, 304 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,560 Speaker 1: but you don't have to. I mean, you could borrow 305 00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 1: a friend's house, but you could also just do I 306 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,880 Speaker 1: mean an A, B and B type thing that would 307 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:06,280 Speaker 1: be more rustic. Obviously hotels are great in their own way, 308 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:07,960 Speaker 1: but it wouldn't have to be a high end hotel. 309 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:11,400 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, anything that is away from your 310 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:15,400 Speaker 1: own responsibilities can be nice in many cases. If you're 311 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,440 Speaker 1: not flying somewhere, like if you're driving, then you don't 312 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:23,240 Speaker 1: have many other expenses other than the food and lodging, 313 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:27,880 Speaker 1: so that can keep the cost of it down. Yeah, 314 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,720 Speaker 1: and you can repeat places too, Like I kind of 315 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:35,360 Speaker 1: have a goal of making Vero Beach my regular retreat destination, 316 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:36,800 Speaker 1: and then you don't have to think that hard. If 317 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 1: you find one place that works, there's no reason you 318 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 1: have to be creative and do something different every time. 319 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 1: If you're happy and you like it. Yeah, I think 320 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:46,480 Speaker 1: Kate May could be my repeat destination for the future too, 321 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,640 Speaker 1: and especially off season. It turned out, I mean, hotels 322 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:53,680 Speaker 1: were dirt cheap in October, which is wonderful, and a 323 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,040 Speaker 1: lot of places were still open. I mean many restaurants 324 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:59,400 Speaker 1: were closed because they only operate sort of May through September, 325 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 1: but there were enough that were open that you were 326 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:05,680 Speaker 1: able to, you know, see some cool stuff that sounds nice. 327 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,800 Speaker 1: Off season beach. Well that's kind of your theme, right, 328 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:11,240 Speaker 1: You're like off season ski resort, off season beach. Yes, 329 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,879 Speaker 1: but that makes sense. So then you kind of have 330 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:17,120 Speaker 1: more peace, probably lower rates, and it's still pretty places. Yeah, 331 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,880 Speaker 1: you know, the mountains don't cease to be pretty when 332 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:24,719 Speaker 1: the snow is gone. So it's also good to have 333 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,320 Speaker 1: a loose schedule. Now again, it doesn't have not like 334 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:31,160 Speaker 1: every fifteen minutes. For people who are seeing patients every 335 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:35,240 Speaker 1: fifteen minutes or who have you know, conference calls booked 336 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:38,199 Speaker 1: every thirty minutes. Some of the upside of a retreat 337 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,760 Speaker 1: would be to not have that and to have a 338 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,440 Speaker 1: bit of a feeling like, well, what do I feel 339 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:45,480 Speaker 1: like doing now? But you still might want to have 340 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:49,800 Speaker 1: some bit of a loose schedule or plan. You might 341 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,840 Speaker 1: want to think about how you're going to feed yourself. 342 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,479 Speaker 1: If it's going to annoy you to wait for a 343 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,800 Speaker 1: restaurant or to wander around finding one, you might want 344 00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:59,280 Speaker 1: to just sort that out ahead of time, or see 345 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:03,159 Speaker 1: if there's to your wherever you're staying, but just to 346 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:06,320 Speaker 1: put a little thought about that so pursuing food doesn't 347 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,880 Speaker 1: take more of the mental energy that you are are 348 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,040 Speaker 1: doing for other things. Then we had a good time 349 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,600 Speaker 1: last night walking around trying to find Yes, we purposely well, 350 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,280 Speaker 1: I purposely booked one night and then I was like, 351 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,200 Speaker 1: well the other night can be more spontaneous and we 352 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,040 Speaker 1: can walk around. And then it turned out to rain. 353 00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:24,000 Speaker 1: So we were very very lucky that we picked the 354 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,240 Speaker 1: place that was right next to the hotel by the 355 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 1: way circle. We like circled the town before we realized, okay, 356 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,199 Speaker 1: we'll just go to this place. Next door, and then 357 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,600 Speaker 1: you know the upside of doing it, you know, with 358 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,480 Speaker 1: somebody and but not with kids is like we could 359 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 1: wait at the bar for a table, like we was 360 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:40,320 Speaker 1: fine to wait for one of thirty forty minutes we 361 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,679 Speaker 1: wound up sitting there. Yeah, it was such a weird 362 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:44,960 Speaker 1: experience to be like, oh, this is actual. We're the 363 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,240 Speaker 1: kind of people who could wait at a restaurant for 364 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:50,280 Speaker 1: a table as opposed to like fleeing with our small children. 365 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,040 Speaker 1: That's so true because when they said the weight time 366 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,320 Speaker 1: was like, I think both of us instinctively were like, 367 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,639 Speaker 1: oh god, because yeah, we have that other scenario in 368 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,919 Speaker 1: mine where you have four, five or three hungry children 369 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 1: and they all are not going to make it. But yeah, 370 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,400 Speaker 1: it was interesting. But yeah, so we didn't plan that one. 371 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,920 Speaker 1: We did plan this one. And think about if there's 372 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:11,440 Speaker 1: anything that you would want to do that it would 373 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:14,359 Speaker 1: require a reservation of some kind, like I don't know, 374 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,560 Speaker 1: a performance or a massage or spa treatment or something 375 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:20,000 Speaker 1: like that. It's nice to have if you're interested in 376 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:21,880 Speaker 1: doing like that, Like it booked ahead of time, because 377 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,320 Speaker 1: then you get to look forward to it and then 378 00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:26,159 Speaker 1: you don't have to you know, be wondering if it's 379 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,359 Speaker 1: going to be available when you get to your destination. Yeah, 380 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:31,160 Speaker 1: or even just having a sort of sequence of things 381 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:32,760 Speaker 1: if it doesn't have to be exact time. But I 382 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:34,879 Speaker 1: sort of like in the morning, I would like to 383 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,000 Speaker 1: go for a walk in this pretty area, and then 384 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:38,840 Speaker 1: I would like to have breakfast, and then I would 385 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:41,800 Speaker 1: like to work on this question for two hours, and 386 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:43,800 Speaker 1: then you know, probably I'll take a break and then 387 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,560 Speaker 1: I'll take a nap, or just sort of think through 388 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:50,240 Speaker 1: a general sequence. So you make sure that you use 389 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:54,720 Speaker 1: the time in a way that fits with your intention. Yes, 390 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,800 Speaker 1: I definitely did not have an hour by hour plan, 391 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,600 Speaker 1: but I like having a couple of anchors. Couple anchors. 392 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:04,560 Speaker 1: Anchors are good. Like you might want to try to 393 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:07,080 Speaker 1: limit your check ins with others. I'm not saying that 394 00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:09,480 Speaker 1: you should throw your phone away or keep it in 395 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:13,280 Speaker 1: the trunk or anything like that, but it helps if 396 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 1: the people who might be contacting you regularly are well 397 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,080 Speaker 1: aware that you are gone and that you are attempting 398 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:24,439 Speaker 1: to focus on an intention of some sort that probably 399 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,960 Speaker 1: doesn't involve checking in with them. Yeah, don't forget to 400 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,800 Speaker 1: be really thorough about where you get your inputs. For 401 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:34,119 Speaker 1: work especially, I have learned the hard way that like 402 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,600 Speaker 1: not only the things that I have learned to do 403 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:39,879 Speaker 1: to like escape fairly well are number one and email 404 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,720 Speaker 1: away message number two and email to like all the 405 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,040 Speaker 1: people that work like directly kind of under me or 406 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,080 Speaker 1: with me that I'm like gone, and this is who 407 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,159 Speaker 1: is in charge unless there's And I always say, like, 408 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:51,520 Speaker 1: call me if there's an emergency. But the truth is, 409 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,120 Speaker 1: in my line of work, and I'm not talking about 410 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,440 Speaker 1: the clinical side, I'm talking about the more resident management side, 411 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:59,119 Speaker 1: there's rarely going to be that kind of emergency. So 412 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:02,199 Speaker 1: I feel fine with that. And don't forget if you 413 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,640 Speaker 1: have some kind of other paging system or something like that. 414 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:09,320 Speaker 1: In Epic, we have this chat function and again that's 415 00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:11,600 Speaker 1: like the world's worst thing to get interrupted with. But 416 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,640 Speaker 1: you can set it to unavailable and put a little 417 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,040 Speaker 1: message without the dates. So I went ahead and did 418 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:20,560 Speaker 1: that too, So three pronged it has worked mostly, Yeah, 419 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:24,480 Speaker 1: mostly mostly. And you like to do this fairly regularly. 420 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:28,000 Speaker 1: I mean you've been pretty good about doing regular retreat. Yeah, 421 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,800 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. My feeling about this is 422 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,960 Speaker 1: like life is short. It's pretty strenuous. I mean it's 423 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,879 Speaker 1: not strenuous, like right, Like objectively speaking, neither of us 424 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:40,080 Speaker 1: are relieving that strenuous lives. But it's pretty full. On 425 00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:42,400 Speaker 1: my normal life, I have to get up really early 426 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 1: if I want to exercise. It's kind of like every 427 00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:46,400 Speaker 1: minute is like for my kids and then my job 428 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,199 Speaker 1: and I come home and like there's just there's not 429 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:51,680 Speaker 1: a lot of reflection or time to spend unstructured and 430 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,359 Speaker 1: having kids that are still younger the weekends, I need 431 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,560 Speaker 1: to do a lot of active parenting. So I really 432 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,119 Speaker 1: crave some of this space in my life. And I 433 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:03,000 Speaker 1: found that, like, I just feel better if I have 434 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,080 Speaker 1: something like this to look forward to every few months. 435 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:07,960 Speaker 1: I mean, my goal would probably be to say every 436 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:11,080 Speaker 1: quintile that I would have either with a friend or 437 00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:13,119 Speaker 1: by myself, which I've never done but I would totally do, 438 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,960 Speaker 1: or with Josh, to just have something on the calendar 439 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:21,600 Speaker 1: to like take a breath, think, et cetera. Yeah, I 440 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,160 Speaker 1: don't know, I just lif it is too short, Yeah, 441 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,520 Speaker 1: to do it well. You were saying, people who want 442 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:28,520 Speaker 1: to spend time planning and it's just hard to do 443 00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,480 Speaker 1: in the day to day life. This is one way 444 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:35,639 Speaker 1: to remove yourself from the constant whitewater rafting experience of 445 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,000 Speaker 1: daily life, and like get over to the side and 446 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:40,120 Speaker 1: see what the water looks like, and you know where 447 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:44,159 Speaker 1: you wish to direct your craft through. I certainly have 448 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:47,119 Speaker 1: not done it every quarter or but I think twice 449 00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 1: a year would be good for me to aim for, 450 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:53,520 Speaker 1: and so maybe that can be a goal moving forward. 451 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:57,119 Speaker 1: I know I still have a weekend trip off the 452 00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:00,600 Speaker 1: gut from Man's a birthday gift which I haven't ye. 453 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:02,440 Speaker 1: I hope this, I hope this was not considered. I 454 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,040 Speaker 1: feel this is this is a work trip. This is 455 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:07,200 Speaker 1: a work trip. This is definitely a work trip, because listen, 456 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:11,680 Speaker 1: we're producing content. This is content content creation exactly Like 457 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:17,639 Speaker 1: never said that it's but we are content creators on 458 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:21,760 Speaker 1: our work retreat. All right, let's go to our question section. 459 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:24,199 Speaker 1: So this is from a listener who writes in she 460 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:27,040 Speaker 1: has three young kids, ages one, three, and seven. Currently 461 00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:29,680 Speaker 1: works four days a week, like an eighty percent schedule, 462 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,240 Speaker 1: completely from home in a job she loves. So sounded 463 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,720 Speaker 1: pretty good so far. She says, I have a fair 464 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,280 Speaker 1: amount of flexibility. She can work out during the day, 465 00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:38,800 Speaker 1: pick up the kids early if she needs to go 466 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,440 Speaker 1: to appointments, and so does her husband. Again, all sounded 467 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,680 Speaker 1: very good. This year, I will be taking on more 468 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,920 Speaker 1: responsibility and as a result, will be up for promotion midyear. 469 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,800 Speaker 1: My boss has made it clear that I can continue 470 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:53,320 Speaker 1: to work in my current part time schedule forever if 471 00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:56,400 Speaker 1: I want to, but if I want to go full time, 472 00:23:56,440 --> 00:24:00,320 Speaker 1: he fully supports and encourages that. So this listen says 473 00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:02,439 Speaker 1: that on one hand, she feels like she may do 474 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,600 Speaker 1: the same amount of work as a full time person 475 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:07,440 Speaker 1: and it would be nice to get paid for it. However, 476 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,159 Speaker 1: and she's saying the extra day of work time if 477 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:11,760 Speaker 1: she went to up to one hundred percent, might give 478 00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,520 Speaker 1: her a space to focus on more forward thinking projects 479 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 1: and professional development, at least in theory. On the other hand, 480 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,159 Speaker 1: she really likes to have Fridays off to do whatever 481 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,119 Speaker 1: she wants. I mean something she does is a longer 482 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:25,399 Speaker 1: workout lunch with her husband, Aaron's household management. If she 483 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,480 Speaker 1: needs to do that, it gives her flexibility if the 484 00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:29,639 Speaker 1: kids are sick er, school is canceled, and life happens 485 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,600 Speaker 1: to still be able to get everything done. So what 486 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,320 Speaker 1: should she do? She knows Sarah recently went up to 487 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:38,240 Speaker 1: full time, so she wants our thoughts about it. So 488 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:41,040 Speaker 1: my thoughts were, and I guess when I first read 489 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,800 Speaker 1: this question, I thought the promotion was definitely happening, But 490 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,720 Speaker 1: she says up for more promotions, so I guess we 491 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:49,080 Speaker 1: don't totally know. I don't know whether this promotions happening. 492 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,080 Speaker 1: I assume it's going to. And the way you worded 493 00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:52,800 Speaker 1: it made it sound like you could have that promotion 494 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:56,720 Speaker 1: either at eighty percent or at one hundred, which is great, 495 00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:58,919 Speaker 1: and I'm so glad that they are not, you know, 496 00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,480 Speaker 1: putting you in a box where you're not at a 497 00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:02,760 Speaker 1: certain FTEs then you can't be at a certain level. 498 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,560 Speaker 1: So my thought, yea, that is a way people maintain 499 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:08,160 Speaker 1: a glass ceiling. By the way, yes that's a pretty 500 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,600 Speaker 1: common one. But yeah, so I'm happy that that doesn't 501 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,040 Speaker 1: sound like that's the case for this person. I think 502 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:15,919 Speaker 1: it depends on how sacred you are with those fridays, 503 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:19,040 Speaker 1: if you want to like wall off those fridays, and 504 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:22,120 Speaker 1: you truly think it is going to be possible even 505 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:25,600 Speaker 1: with the promotion, and you're happy, and maybe you're getting like, 506 00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,000 Speaker 1: you know, an increase in pay anyway with the raise, 507 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 1: but you want to like shut off work on Fridays 508 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,360 Speaker 1: completely and be able to say, like, I don't work Fridays, 509 00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 1: then I think eighty percent is the answer. If, however, 510 00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:39,439 Speaker 1: you find it, especially with the promotion, stuff is going 511 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:41,439 Speaker 1: to bleed in anyway, and you're gonna end up like 512 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,160 Speaker 1: doing one meeting here and sending a couple emails there, 513 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:46,440 Speaker 1: to the point where your time is getting a little 514 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:50,080 Speaker 1: bit like polluted. Then I say just go full time 515 00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:53,840 Speaker 1: and you know, maybe just try to maintain since your 516 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,960 Speaker 1: job is nice and flexible, maybe Fridays could be like 517 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,960 Speaker 1: a lighter day, but at least you're get paying for everything. 518 00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,639 Speaker 1: So I think it just depends on how how much 519 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,520 Speaker 1: of a while you want around your Fridays. Yeah, my 520 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,480 Speaker 1: sense is that you are probably correct that you are 521 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:08,159 Speaker 1: doing as much as the average full time person in 522 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:11,919 Speaker 1: your organization, because I'm sure you are a diligent and 523 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:15,640 Speaker 1: hard working person who listens to this podcast. And so 524 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:17,840 Speaker 1: my theory is that, yes, you should be getting paid 525 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:19,920 Speaker 1: for one hundred percent if you are doing one hundred 526 00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:23,159 Speaker 1: percent of the work, and I think you might be 527 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:27,520 Speaker 1: able to mostly wall off Fridays anyway. Again, if you 528 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:29,600 Speaker 1: are doing a lot of the work already that a 529 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,600 Speaker 1: full time person would be doing, and you're managing to 530 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:35,280 Speaker 1: keep your Fridays pretty clear. You could probably keep doing that. 531 00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:36,760 Speaker 1: I mean, you could just make it very clear that 532 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:38,439 Speaker 1: Friday is not a good day to meet with you. 533 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:41,159 Speaker 1: And you know, if you're working from home, nobody's going 534 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,159 Speaker 1: to be seeing what you're doing anyway, so they're not 535 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:47,399 Speaker 1: going to be asking you questions like why are you 536 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,520 Speaker 1: not there at exactly one pm? I mean, you can 537 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:52,639 Speaker 1: just sort of say, like, you know these I don't 538 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:55,159 Speaker 1: want to do meetings on Fridays because that's when I 539 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,760 Speaker 1: think about long term projects or whatever you want to say, 540 00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:01,119 Speaker 1: and then discourage that from on your schedule. I'm not 541 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:02,919 Speaker 1: saying it will never happen, but I think if you 542 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:08,080 Speaker 1: are very good about pushing, then you will have more 543 00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:12,879 Speaker 1: time open on Fridays then you might think you will. Again, 544 00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:15,480 Speaker 1: it's just it's the kind of thing I suggest people 545 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,760 Speaker 1: try to do anyways, not schedule a lot on Fridays, 546 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:19,920 Speaker 1: because you need a backup for, as you said, where 547 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:22,920 Speaker 1: stuff happens and you need a space for it to go. 548 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:27,159 Speaker 1: So you know, given that that's good calendar management in general, 549 00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:29,000 Speaker 1: I think you know you might be able to make 550 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,760 Speaker 1: it work in a full time position as well, and 551 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,879 Speaker 1: if you have flexibility, it might be worth working like 552 00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,160 Speaker 1: a little longer on same Monday or Tuesday, if that's 553 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:40,159 Speaker 1: an option in your life, and try to sort of 554 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:42,600 Speaker 1: get some of that overflow to that time to again, 555 00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:45,680 Speaker 1: try to keep Fridays off if that's a really attractive 556 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:47,480 Speaker 1: thing for you. I'm pretty sure you will still be 557 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:49,280 Speaker 1: able to work out on Fridays and have lunch with 558 00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:51,600 Speaker 1: your husband on Fridays. Well, it sounds like she does 559 00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:53,440 Speaker 1: that anyway, she does that anyway, it's a good job, 560 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,399 Speaker 1: it's a good Yeah, yeah, I think I think so. 561 00:27:56,480 --> 00:28:00,800 Speaker 1: My vote would be full time and then just as 562 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,520 Speaker 1: much as possible, try to keep some of that open space, 563 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,639 Speaker 1: knowing that you are a very efficient person who can 564 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,520 Speaker 1: probably get a lot of your work done in you know, 565 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,440 Speaker 1: and knowing that from my experience, trying to wall off 566 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:16,320 Speaker 1: a day as sort of entirely is a little bit futile. Anyway. Yeah, yeah, 567 00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:19,119 Speaker 1: so there you go, all right. Our love of the week, Sarah, 568 00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:22,440 Speaker 1: what's yours? Yeah? So I used to follow this fashion 569 00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:26,760 Speaker 1: blog called Unfancy and then it disappeared. But if you 570 00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:29,560 Speaker 1: keep like a blogger that you like on your reader, 571 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,600 Speaker 1: then you'll know when they reappear. And so she came 572 00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:33,880 Speaker 1: back after like more than a year of being completely 573 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:36,880 Speaker 1: gone and now she's doing daily outfit photos. Her name 574 00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:40,680 Speaker 1: is Caroline. She lives in Texas. She's very casual like 575 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:44,200 Speaker 1: with her style, very intentional, very minimal. I love it. 576 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:47,920 Speaker 1: I just want all her outfits. I'm sure she probably 577 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:51,360 Speaker 1: posts links to them. You could buy them. Yeah, I'm 578 00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:54,400 Speaker 1: gonna gradually slide in until I just copy all of 579 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,000 Speaker 1: her No, I'm just kidding, but it's really good and 580 00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,320 Speaker 1: I just like that. It just felt cool to be like, oh, 581 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,560 Speaker 1: I only know she's because I kept this on my reader. 582 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:04,040 Speaker 1: So pro tip, if you have someone you like that 583 00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:07,280 Speaker 1: you're following, don't delete it just because they went away 584 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,080 Speaker 1: for a while. They might come back. They might come 585 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:13,320 Speaker 1: back or not. Sometimes they disappear forever. So my love 586 00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:17,480 Speaker 1: of the week is Charleston shoes. And they were laughing 587 00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:20,600 Speaker 1: because I had a total like shoe fail. So I 588 00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:24,880 Speaker 1: brought a pair of like slip on, rusticky sandal type 589 00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:26,760 Speaker 1: things with me here to Florida. I think they would 590 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,840 Speaker 1: look comfortable, look cute, but they gave me a really 591 00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,600 Speaker 1: awful blister when we were walking around last night. I 592 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,880 Speaker 1: don't know what. Something just went wrong. It's I hadn't 593 00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,120 Speaker 1: warn them in a long time. Maybe they shrank or 594 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:40,320 Speaker 1: my shoot, my feet expanded, I don't know. And so 595 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:43,240 Speaker 1: then you know, I looked I had a band aid 596 00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:44,720 Speaker 1: on it, and I looked down when we were at 597 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:48,040 Speaker 1: our brunch and there's like bloody stain on the back 598 00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:51,000 Speaker 1: of my like the old Grimm fairy tale of like 599 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:54,480 Speaker 1: Cinderella with blood on the track. It's just yeah, exactly, 600 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,280 Speaker 1: it was. It was. It was something. So we made 601 00:29:57,320 --> 00:30:00,000 Speaker 1: an emergency stop at Charleston Shoes, which is a cute 602 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,080 Speaker 1: little shoe store. By yeah, I mean, what was the 603 00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:04,040 Speaker 1: chance that I was like, oh, look, there's two shoe 604 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:07,080 Speaker 1: boutiques one walk away walk away from our brunch spot. 605 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:11,000 Speaker 1: So we went in and I bought a pair of 606 00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 1: very comfortable shoes. It was sort of an elastic key 607 00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:18,959 Speaker 1: back part and top and cut, very cute. The boutique 608 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:22,200 Speaker 1: person gave me a ten percent to discount for my 609 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,360 Speaker 1: shoe emergency, not because she knew it was going to 610 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 1: be a love of the week, No, we did not. 611 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:27,920 Speaker 1: She threw out my old shoes for me, and she 612 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:30,360 Speaker 1: gave me a band aid, so it was all nice. 613 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,600 Speaker 1: We did not play the podcast ad, so this is 614 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:37,200 Speaker 1: this is completely nonspawn, non sponsor. Yes, but I'm happy 615 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:39,960 Speaker 1: to have new shoes now, very exciting. A little souvenir 616 00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:43,360 Speaker 1: from Vero Beach where we are here on our Many retreat, 617 00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:47,320 Speaker 1: talking all things Many Retreat in this very meta episode. 618 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,480 Speaker 1: But we will be back next week with more on 619 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:54,120 Speaker 1: making work and life fit together. Thanks for listening. You 620 00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:57,120 Speaker 1: can find me Sarah at the shoe Box dot com 621 00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:00,840 Speaker 1: or at the Underscore shoe Box on Instagram, and you 622 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:05,040 Speaker 1: can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This 623 00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:08,440 Speaker 1: has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join 624 00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:11,240 Speaker 1: us next time for more on making work and life 625 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:12,080 Speaker 1: work together.