WEBVTT - Introducing: An Unlikely Affair 

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<v Speaker 1>Hi, Amber, Hilelah, Welcome to an unlikely affair.

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<v Speaker 2>It's fucking air. I can't believe it.

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<v Speaker 3>I know, right, it's been like four or five years, right, yes,

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<v Speaker 3>since we want to do something, and every time we

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<v Speaker 3>talk about it, the timing is off.

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<v Speaker 1>And now we're sitting here recording from the same couch,

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<v Speaker 1>on the same freaking couch.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm sitting on the couch with the ex mistress. Well wow, yeah, sorry,

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<v Speaker 4>was that too much?

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<v Speaker 2>No? I think it's great.

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<v Speaker 1>I think I am in my era of calling things

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<v Speaker 1>like they are. I don't need anyone to sugarcoat anything.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't need anybody to like watch what they say

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<v Speaker 1>because my feelings may be hurt. It is what it is.

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<v Speaker 1>Take all of the nuance out of it. I also

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<v Speaker 1>like life is so nuanced, But after like filming this

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<v Speaker 1>new show, I'm like, I don't care about the nuances.

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<v Speaker 1>Cut to the fucking point, black or white. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>want to know every avenue. This is the true wances out.

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<v Speaker 1>You are the wife, I was the mistress. Whatever it is,

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<v Speaker 1>what it is. I feel so liberated.

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<v Speaker 3>But you know what, I fucking love you now. I

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<v Speaker 3>really fucking love like a time where thank you I didn't.

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't love you so much, Laala, but now I.

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<v Speaker 2>Can't imagine why. Oh geez, I.

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<v Speaker 3>Don't know here, let me ask my little Oh okay, yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>we're here. No, I'm really excited about the show, so

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<v Speaker 3>much to talk about. I just you know, I think

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<v Speaker 3>for me, I want to keep it real. I want

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<v Speaker 3>to keep it so honest, and I want women to

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<v Speaker 3>feel like it's okay to be messy.

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<v Speaker 4>Moms. It's okay to be messy.

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<v Speaker 3>We're not supposed to be perfect. This is not fucking Pinterest.

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<v Speaker 3>This is not a Pinterest podcast, no at all.

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<v Speaker 1>So we're gonna have not even on Pinterest. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>I use it for inspiration, and a lot of people do.

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<v Speaker 3>But this is gonna be messy and funny and sad

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<v Speaker 3>and sweet. And I can not wait to hear about

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<v Speaker 3>all of your dating stories and what the hell is

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<v Speaker 3>going on in that Kent house because well, I feel.

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<v Speaker 1>The same way because you've moved to Montana. You You

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<v Speaker 1>and I like very different types of men are girls

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<v Speaker 1>except that one stent in life.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, sorry, how funny that I said that.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, we like really different guys, which the whole

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<v Speaker 1>reason we know each other is because of one person.

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<v Speaker 4>You know, we should put on the back of this

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<v Speaker 4>wall like all the men.

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<v Speaker 1>No, that would be bad, that would be so bad,

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<v Speaker 1>we would never get laid again.

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<v Speaker 4>Na, you would definitely get laid you.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, have you seen those photos of you on

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<v Speaker 3>Instagram that you posted of your wonderful donc you know?

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<v Speaker 1>But thinking once I got back to the mainland, I

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<v Speaker 1>would want to slide into so many dms after I

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<v Speaker 1>posted that, and then I got back and was just like,

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<v Speaker 1>so fucking sick.

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<v Speaker 2>You're in Hawaii.

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<v Speaker 3>Why didn't you slide into dms while you were there?

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<v Speaker 1>Because I feel weird sliding into dms when my children

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<v Speaker 1>are like sleeping next to me or I'm playing with them.

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<v Speaker 2>Is that is that nerd?

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<v Speaker 4>No, that's normal. That makes you a good mom, but

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<v Speaker 4>a good present mom.

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<v Speaker 1>Like if you were like, no, I'm like all slide

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<v Speaker 1>into dms when I'm like home and settled.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I got back and.

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<v Speaker 4>Felt like death. So it's timing.

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<v Speaker 1>It's timing as everything. I don't think God wanted me

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<v Speaker 1>to slide into any dms. No, No, when I had

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<v Speaker 1>you on untraditionally La La for the first ever podcast

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<v Speaker 1>episode of my rebrand or relaunch or you know jujing

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<v Speaker 1>I love a good ji, I.

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<v Speaker 2>Love a good jug.

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<v Speaker 1>People were so excited, Yeah, what's judj ourselves?

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, what happened? People were excited about just the two

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<v Speaker 4>of us.

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<v Speaker 2>We've never really spoken.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I've spoken about you, but the two of

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<v Speaker 1>us have never been out there like this, having conversations

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<v Speaker 1>and addressing things. Everyone thinks that they know the story,

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<v Speaker 1>which I think I think some people do.

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<v Speaker 2>And I just said that I hate nuance, but in

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<v Speaker 2>this case.

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<v Speaker 1>Doing this podcast, I think it's going to give a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of people hope and co parenting, or I guess

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<v Speaker 1>for us, parallel parenting is very difficult. We have the

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<v Speaker 1>holiday coming up, and even though you may have a

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<v Speaker 1>set agreement in order, like life doesn't really.

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<v Speaker 4>Work like that.

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<v Speaker 3>No. I think one of the biggest things that about

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<v Speaker 3>co parenting it teaches you to be flexible and you

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<v Speaker 3>got to pick and choose your battles. You're like, you

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<v Speaker 3>know what this is about all I'm not willing to

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<v Speaker 3>fight because it's going to interrupt my sanity, it's going

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<v Speaker 3>to interrupt the holidays, and.

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<v Speaker 4>It's like, yeah, yeah, it's a whole thing.

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<v Speaker 3>But I think one of the going back to your

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<v Speaker 3>point is that I think a lot of people, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>from what they see on TV and what they know

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<v Speaker 3>of me, is that they think we're really different. But

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<v Speaker 3>as I've gotten to know you over the years, I

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<v Speaker 3>think there's a lot of similarities, and I think it

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<v Speaker 3>will be nice for people to hear those similarities.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, at the beginning, what did you think, what

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<v Speaker 1>is super different? Or what have people said that they

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<v Speaker 1>think we're super different? I mean, I know that I'm

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<v Speaker 1>very much. Here's the difference though, ambers You are an actress,

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<v Speaker 1>So while you go out and have an incredible talent,

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<v Speaker 1>and you know you're going off of a script and

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<v Speaker 1>then you kind of go into your real life. My

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<v Speaker 1>line of work is going on a show and like

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<v Speaker 1>being an elevated version of myself. Right, So we're going

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<v Speaker 1>to seem very different because you're going out and you're

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<v Speaker 1>very poised, and I love that about you.

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<v Speaker 2>But when we're behind closed.

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<v Speaker 1>Doors, the two of us can get down and taking

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<v Speaker 1>about some pretty insane things.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah and yeah, a lot of insane things. But I

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<v Speaker 3>think a lot of people I've done a lot of work,

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<v Speaker 3>I've done a lot of healing. I'm like arrived at

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<v Speaker 3>a new place in my life where I think what

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<v Speaker 3>I've been kind of hiding is this fire.

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<v Speaker 4>That I have in me that.

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<v Speaker 3>A lot of people probably wouldn't expect. And I think

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<v Speaker 3>that fire, like probably has stemmed from having to really

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<v Speaker 3>fucking fight for myself and fight for my children and

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<v Speaker 3>fight for the truth and what's right at the same time,

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<v Speaker 3>not like land on my ass and like.

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<v Speaker 4>Look like a fool.

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<v Speaker 3>But I think that's kind of where you and I

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<v Speaker 3>are similar. Like I see that like outward expression of

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<v Speaker 3>this badass that you are and you just fucking say

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<v Speaker 3>it how it is, and I'm like, I have that

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<v Speaker 3>in me, but I don't know how to express it right,

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<v Speaker 3>like because again, like you give me a script and

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<v Speaker 3>I'm I'm good. I could play those like you know,

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<v Speaker 3>all these characters that I've played over the years on

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<v Speaker 3>television or in film have been these really strong, badass women,

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<v Speaker 3>but in life, I'm a little It's like I'm a

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<v Speaker 3>little more reserved or like that little Mormon girl or

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<v Speaker 3>those voices come out going like you have to be

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<v Speaker 3>buttoned up and you have to but that's not the truth.

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<v Speaker 3>Like I think that's one of the beautiful things about

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<v Speaker 3>aging as women, you just give less fucks.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I love that part.

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<v Speaker 1>But also can I tell you and I can't wait

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<v Speaker 1>to deep dive into so many different conversations on this podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>But as I, as I get older, I'm realizing that

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't even want to call it baggage because

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<v Speaker 1>I don't look at it that way. But depending on

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<v Speaker 1>who you meet when you're trying to find a partner

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<v Speaker 1>you I now have a life where it's like, this

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<v Speaker 1>is what comes comes with me.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, take it or leave it, right, And you know

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<v Speaker 2>what I tell people.

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<v Speaker 4>I tell people listen, I'm a.

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<v Speaker 2>Package deal one hundred percent.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't need you to pay for my kids. But

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<v Speaker 3>just so you know, my kids are arriving at the

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<v Speaker 3>doorstep with.

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<v Speaker 2>Me one hundred percent.

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<v Speaker 3>Actually, and a few dogs maybe and a few dogs,

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<v Speaker 3>few for babies.

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<v Speaker 2>But you know I have this.

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<v Speaker 1>I have a very specific I won't date older than forty,

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<v Speaker 1>give or take a couple of years. And twenty five

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<v Speaker 1>so ten years younger. And I've been leaning more towards

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<v Speaker 1>the younger side. I feel like many different ages Mentally,

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like I am twenty one years old.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, we have so much in common. What are

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<v Speaker 2>you talking about? Yeah, yeah, young blood.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, But then I'm like, no, I am thirty five,

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<v Speaker 1>I am self sufficient, I have two babies. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>need shit from you. And then physically I feel like

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<v Speaker 1>I'm one hundred.

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<v Speaker 3>You wear a lot of different hats, and I think

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<v Speaker 3>a lot of women feel that way, like a lot

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<v Speaker 3>of women. Yeah, speaking of hats, the holidays are coming up,

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<v Speaker 3>and do you get overwhelmed with the amount of like

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<v Speaker 3>people that either show up at your house or like

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<v Speaker 3>navigating the co parenting of I mean, we share the

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<v Speaker 3>same baby, daddy, but like the competition of Christmas because

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<v Speaker 3>it's it's it's Disneyland over there.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean it's but so yeah, that's what I wanted

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<v Speaker 4>to ask you, you know, because I'm struggling with this.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you yeah?

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<v Speaker 4>Big time? Big time lately?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, well, well again, you and I have very we

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<v Speaker 1>have different ages, and it is like Disneyland over there, and.

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<v Speaker 2>I know that, and if I was a kid, I

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<v Speaker 2>would want to live over there too.

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<v Speaker 3>I'd be like, oh, why we're going to Disneyland because

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<v Speaker 3>it's fucking Tuesday.

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<v Speaker 2>Right.

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<v Speaker 1>No, when I got that, trust me, Like the gifts,

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<v Speaker 1>the gifts are amazing when you're a child. But what

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<v Speaker 1>I have what I have noticed, is that my job

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<v Speaker 1>is to not provide Ocean with a bunch of shit.

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<v Speaker 1>My job with Ocean is to provide her with my time,

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<v Speaker 1>to provide her with discipline and structure and consistency, and

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<v Speaker 1>that is where she thrives.

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<v Speaker 3>That's the greatest gift you can give your children.

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<v Speaker 1>When she goes to his house and comes back and

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<v Speaker 1>wants to talk about all of the things that she

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<v Speaker 1>got and the you know, ten pound bag of candy

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<v Speaker 1>that she got, I tell her how amazing that is.

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<v Speaker 1>And then when we go to the store and she's

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<v Speaker 1>throwing things in the cart, it is a conversation of

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<v Speaker 1>we're not getting it because of this reason. And I

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<v Speaker 1>find that empowering, because there's gonna be a day where

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<v Speaker 1>my child is older and raising kids and she's not.

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<v Speaker 2>There's gonna be a day where she doesn't care about

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<v Speaker 2>the shit. She doesn't want a ten pound bag of candy.

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<v Speaker 2>And let's be honest.

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<v Speaker 1>This is the other thing that I tell myself in

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<v Speaker 1>my head. When she wants to talk about everything that

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<v Speaker 1>her dad gets here, I'm like, her dad's a fucking renter.

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<v Speaker 2>Her mom's an owner bitch.

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<v Speaker 4>Whoa mic drop, Mike drop.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh there's anything wrong with that?

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<v Speaker 1>Let me be very clear. Yeah, let me be clear again.

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<v Speaker 1>Nothing wrong with renting. Nothing, there's nothing wrong with renting.

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<v Speaker 1>It's the fact that you want to buy all this

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<v Speaker 1>stuff for these kids.

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<v Speaker 2>But I have my.

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<v Speaker 1>Business manager saying I can't get a hold of home boy.

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<v Speaker 1>He owes you X amount of thousands of dollars intuition

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<v Speaker 1>and child support.

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<v Speaker 3>You just say, you provide structure, and I really commend

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<v Speaker 3>you for that, and it's like the greatest I didn't

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<v Speaker 3>I wasn't able to give my kids that because I

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<v Speaker 3>was literally in chaos.

0:11:33.120 --> 0:11:35.240
<v Speaker 4>I was survived. I was literally trying not to kill

0:11:35.240 --> 0:11:37.080
<v Speaker 4>myself at that time.

0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:37.920
<v Speaker 2>Not to go dark.

0:11:37.960 --> 0:11:40.720
<v Speaker 3>But I'm just like, you provide structure, and your kids

0:11:40.720 --> 0:11:42.440
<v Speaker 3>are still young, so I'm like sitting.

0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:44.040
<v Speaker 4>Across from the couchpoint like.

0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:47.520
<v Speaker 3>You could just fucking keep doing it.

0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:49.920
<v Speaker 4>Like what you're doing is like the right move.

0:11:52.120 --> 0:11:54.240
<v Speaker 2>But then, like you said, as they get older, it's

0:11:54.280 --> 0:11:55.320
<v Speaker 2>it's much hard.

0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:56.199
<v Speaker 4>Let me tell you something.

0:11:56.640 --> 0:11:59.480
<v Speaker 3>Riley came home with a fucking pair of Gucci sunglasses

0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:01.400
<v Speaker 3>from New York.

0:12:02.320 --> 0:12:03.680
<v Speaker 2>Why did she go to New York?

0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:06.480
<v Speaker 3>She went from Ohio where they were filming, to New

0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:09.320
<v Speaker 3>York and she came back and I said, Okay, you

0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:11.600
<v Speaker 3>know what, that's great, Riley. They look actually really good

0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:14.280
<v Speaker 3>on you. I'm really happy for you. Yeah, And I

0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:16.360
<v Speaker 3>said it in a very genuine way, and then she

0:12:16.400 --> 0:12:17.800
<v Speaker 3>was off bouncing around.

0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:23.840
<v Speaker 4>You know, but that stuff that hurts my ego, right,

0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:26.280
<v Speaker 4>that's not like that because.

0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:28.359
<v Speaker 2>You can't go buy her Gucci sunglasses.

0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:30.080
<v Speaker 4>I don't want to buy her Gucci sunglasses.

0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:35.480
<v Speaker 3>It's just that I know what he's doing and it

0:12:36.200 --> 0:12:40.440
<v Speaker 3>breaks my heart for her in London. And it also

0:12:40.600 --> 0:12:44.360
<v Speaker 3>is like I can't compete with that, and nor do

0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:48.080
<v Speaker 3>I want to. Like I just I've arrived like materialistic

0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:51.400
<v Speaker 3>things like I walk around with now a TJ Max bag,

0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:53.520
<v Speaker 3>and I fucking love this bag. I love it more

0:12:53.559 --> 0:12:56.480
<v Speaker 3>than any other bag I've ever owned. OK, maybe that's

0:12:56.520 --> 0:12:58.880
<v Speaker 3>not true, but like close, yeah.

0:12:59.480 --> 0:13:02.280
<v Speaker 1>Can I tell tell you there. I used to think

0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:04.640
<v Speaker 1>that all of that shit was so cool. And I'll

0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:08.400
<v Speaker 1>be honest. I I for both of my girls on

0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:11.240
<v Speaker 1>their first birthdays. I got them designer bags because I

0:13:11.280 --> 0:13:13.079
<v Speaker 1>wanted to be the first person to give them their

0:13:13.080 --> 0:13:13.960
<v Speaker 1>first designer bag.

0:13:14.160 --> 0:13:17.200
<v Speaker 2>Whatever. Sosa too, Sosa too, Sosa.

0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:19.360
<v Speaker 1>That might be a good lunch, but a little like

0:13:19.559 --> 0:13:25.000
<v Speaker 1>Gucci tiny little bag. Right, it's cute, it's whatever. I

0:13:25.760 --> 0:13:29.360
<v Speaker 1>did it for Sosa, because I did it for Oh.

0:13:29.280 --> 0:13:31.280
<v Speaker 4>That's a whole nother problem had. Oh my got.

0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:35.120
<v Speaker 1>But let me tell you, as as someone who has

0:13:35.400 --> 0:13:38.839
<v Speaker 1>had and you have too, had a lot of shit

0:13:38.960 --> 0:13:40.920
<v Speaker 1>thrown at them that I have not paid for, and

0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:42.720
<v Speaker 1>then getting to a place where I can pay for

0:13:42.760 --> 0:13:44.440
<v Speaker 1>that stuff, and then going to a place where all

0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:47.880
<v Speaker 1>you want is safety, security, and even if your peace

0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:49.840
<v Speaker 1>means living in a fucking box, you don't care.

0:13:50.160 --> 0:13:53.480
<v Speaker 2>I am met in to Chanel uh in.

0:13:53.520 --> 0:13:56.680
<v Speaker 1>Hawaii and I was like, I'm ready to fucking blow

0:13:56.720 --> 0:13:59.200
<v Speaker 1>some money. I walked in and I was like, I

0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:02.240
<v Speaker 1>don't care about any of this fucking shit. No.

0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:04.960
<v Speaker 3>Well, okay, first of all, Chanel like, you could buy

0:14:05.240 --> 0:14:08.040
<v Speaker 3>a really nice boy bag for thirty five hundred, forty

0:14:08.080 --> 0:14:08.520
<v Speaker 3>five hundred.

0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:10.480
<v Speaker 4>Now they're like eight thousands.

0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:13.479
<v Speaker 1>Me the one I was looking at was like almost,

0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:15.040
<v Speaker 1>I want to say, eight thousand dollars.

0:14:15.040 --> 0:14:15.839
<v Speaker 2>You know what this means.

0:14:16.880 --> 0:14:17.600
<v Speaker 4>We're maturing.

0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:19.960
<v Speaker 1>But let me tell you, I was like, this will

0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:24.560
<v Speaker 1>not bring me an ounce of fucking happiness, no at all,

0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:29.480
<v Speaker 1>because my good ball sack mite. Oh but give me

0:14:29.680 --> 0:14:32.680
<v Speaker 1>all the twenty five year old's dick in the world.

0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:37.280
<v Speaker 1>I want a young, hot, tight big dick tight balls.

0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:40.920
<v Speaker 2>Wow, can we put this on your dating profile?

0:14:49.560 --> 0:14:52.880
<v Speaker 1>Twenty five is fine? Right, I'm thirty five? Yeah, like

0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:53.800
<v Speaker 1>a weird no.

0:14:53.800 --> 0:14:56.000
<v Speaker 4>No, you're having fun just I deserve it.

0:14:57.120 --> 0:15:00.840
<v Speaker 3>I didn't say to you.

0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:02.680
<v Speaker 2>Who are you my mom? Okay, I'm not.

0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:08.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm rejecting my freaking mother and my brother. They're like

0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:10.680
<v Speaker 1>grossed out by me right now, and I'm like, what

0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:11.280
<v Speaker 1>the fuck?

0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:13.880
<v Speaker 4>Oh my gosh, let me let me.

0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:16.920
<v Speaker 1>I want to go on them, let them let me

0:15:17.280 --> 0:15:20.080
<v Speaker 1>yet we please, And this is exactly the kind of

0:15:20.040 --> 0:15:21.680
<v Speaker 1>ship we're talking about on this podcast.

0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:23.440
<v Speaker 2>I love it all right.

0:15:23.480 --> 0:15:26.360
<v Speaker 1>There was just like a little taste, just the tip

0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:28.160
<v Speaker 1>of an unlikely affair.

0:15:28.880 --> 0:15:29.400
<v Speaker 2>Oh.

0:15:29.560 --> 0:15:30.440
<v Speaker 4>I love a good tip.

0:15:30.480 --> 0:15:35.280
<v Speaker 1>I just so does he. That's what I've heard. At least,

0:15:36.240 --> 0:15:38.360
<v Speaker 1>we're going to catch all the men.

0:15:38.480 --> 0:15:40.680
<v Speaker 2>The tip is where it's at, The tip is where

0:15:40.680 --> 0:15:42.120
<v Speaker 2>it's at. Anywhere, We're going to catch you.

0:15:42.200 --> 0:15:45.280
<v Speaker 1>January eighth, for a full episode, Love y'all, Thank you

0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:46.480
<v Speaker 1>to the crazy.

0:15:46.720 --> 0:15:47.000
<v Speaker 2>Yes