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Speaker 1: Hi, Amber, Hilelah, Welcome to an unlikely affair.

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Speaker 2: It's fucking air. I can't believe it.

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Speaker 3: I know, right, it's been like four or five years, right, yes,

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Speaker 3: since we want to do something, and every time we

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Speaker 3: talk about it, the timing is off.

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Speaker 1: And now we're sitting here recording from the same couch,

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Speaker 1: on the same freaking couch.

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Speaker 4: I'm sitting on the couch with the ex mistress. Well wow, yeah, sorry,

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Speaker 4: was that too much?

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Speaker 2: No? I think it's great.

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Speaker 1: I think I am in my era of calling things

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Speaker 1: like they are. I don't need anyone to sugarcoat anything.

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Speaker 1: I don't need anybody to like watch what they say

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Speaker 1: because my feelings may be hurt. It is what it is.

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Speaker 1: Take all of the nuance out of it. I also

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Speaker 1: like life is so nuanced, But after like filming this

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Speaker 1: new show, I'm like, I don't care about the nuances.

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Speaker 1: Cut to the fucking point, black or white. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to know every avenue. This is the true wances out.

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Speaker 1: You are the wife, I was the mistress. Whatever it is,

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Speaker 1: what it is. I feel so liberated.

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Speaker 3: But you know what, I fucking love you now. I

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Speaker 3: really fucking love like a time where thank you I didn't.

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Speaker 3: I didn't love you so much, Laala, but now I.

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Speaker 2: Can't imagine why. Oh geez, I.

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Speaker 3: Don't know here, let me ask my little Oh okay, yeah,

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Speaker 3: we're here. No, I'm really excited about the show, so

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Speaker 3: much to talk about. I just you know, I think

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Speaker 3: for me, I want to keep it real. I want

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Speaker 3: to keep it so honest, and I want women to

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Speaker 3: feel like it's okay to be messy.

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Speaker 4: Moms. It's okay to be messy.

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Speaker 3: We're not supposed to be perfect. This is not fucking Pinterest.

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Speaker 3: This is not a Pinterest podcast, no at all.

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Speaker 1: So we're gonna have not even on Pinterest. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I use it for inspiration, and a lot of people do.

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Speaker 3: But this is gonna be messy and funny and sad

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Speaker 3: and sweet. And I can not wait to hear about

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Speaker 3: all of your dating stories and what the hell is

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Speaker 3: going on in that Kent house because well, I feel.

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Speaker 1: The same way because you've moved to Montana. You You

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Speaker 1: and I like very different types of men are girls

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Speaker 1: except that one stent in life.

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Speaker 2: Okay, sorry, how funny that I said that.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, we like really different guys, which the whole

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Speaker 1: reason we know each other is because of one person.

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Speaker 4: You know, we should put on the back of this

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Speaker 4: wall like all the men.

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Speaker 1: No, that would be bad, that would be so bad,

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Speaker 1: we would never get laid again.

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Speaker 4: Na, you would definitely get laid you.

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Speaker 3: I mean, have you seen those photos of you on

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Speaker 3: Instagram that you posted of your wonderful donc you know?

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Speaker 1: But thinking once I got back to the mainland, I

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Speaker 1: would want to slide into so many dms after I

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Speaker 1: posted that, and then I got back and was just like,

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Speaker 1: so fucking sick.

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Speaker 2: You're in Hawaii.

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Speaker 3: Why didn't you slide into dms while you were there?

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Speaker 1: Because I feel weird sliding into dms when my children

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Speaker 1: are like sleeping next to me or I'm playing with them.

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Speaker 2: Is that is that nerd?

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Speaker 4: No, that's normal. That makes you a good mom, but

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Speaker 4: a good present mom.

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Speaker 1: Like if you were like, no, I'm like all slide

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Speaker 1: into dms when I'm like home and settled.

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Speaker 2: And then I got back and.

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Speaker 4: Felt like death. So it's timing.

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Speaker 1: It's timing as everything. I don't think God wanted me

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Speaker 1: to slide into any dms. No, No, when I had

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Speaker 1: you on untraditionally La La for the first ever podcast

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Speaker 1: episode of my rebrand or relaunch or you know jujing

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Speaker 1: I love a good ji, I.

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Speaker 2: Love a good jug.

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Speaker 1: People were so excited, Yeah, what's judj ourselves?

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Speaker 4: Okay, what happened? People were excited about just the two

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Speaker 4: of us.

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Speaker 2: We've never really spoken.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I've spoken about you, but the two of

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Speaker 1: us have never been out there like this, having conversations

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Speaker 1: and addressing things. Everyone thinks that they know the story,

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Speaker 1: which I think I think some people do.

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Speaker 2: And I just said that I hate nuance, but in

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Speaker 2: this case.

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Speaker 1: Doing this podcast, I think it's going to give a

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Speaker 1: lot of people hope and co parenting, or I guess

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Speaker 1: for us, parallel parenting is very difficult. We have the

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Speaker 1: holiday coming up, and even though you may have a

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Speaker 1: set agreement in order, like life doesn't really.

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Speaker 4: Work like that.

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Speaker 3: No. I think one of the biggest things that about

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Speaker 3: co parenting it teaches you to be flexible and you

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Speaker 3: got to pick and choose your battles. You're like, you

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Speaker 3: know what this is about all I'm not willing to

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Speaker 3: fight because it's going to interrupt my sanity, it's going

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Speaker 3: to interrupt the holidays, and.

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Speaker 4: It's like, yeah, yeah, it's a whole thing.

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Speaker 3: But I think one of the going back to your

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Speaker 3: point is that I think a lot of people, you know,

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Speaker 3: from what they see on TV and what they know

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Speaker 3: of me, is that they think we're really different. But

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Speaker 3: as I've gotten to know you over the years, I

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Speaker 3: think there's a lot of similarities, and I think it

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Speaker 3: will be nice for people to hear those similarities.

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Speaker 1: You know, at the beginning, what did you think, what

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Speaker 1: is super different? Or what have people said that they

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Speaker 1: think we're super different? I mean, I know that I'm

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Speaker 1: very much. Here's the difference though, ambers You are an actress,

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Speaker 1: So while you go out and have an incredible talent,

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Speaker 1: and you know you're going off of a script and

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Speaker 1: then you kind of go into your real life. My

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Speaker 1: line of work is going on a show and like

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Speaker 1: being an elevated version of myself. Right, So we're going

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Speaker 1: to seem very different because you're going out and you're

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Speaker 1: very poised, and I love that about you.

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Speaker 2: But when we're behind closed.

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Speaker 1: Doors, the two of us can get down and taking

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Speaker 1: about some pretty insane things.

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Speaker 3: Yeah and yeah, a lot of insane things. But I

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Speaker 3: think a lot of people I've done a lot of work,

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Speaker 3: I've done a lot of healing. I'm like arrived at

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Speaker 3: a new place in my life where I think what

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Speaker 3: I've been kind of hiding is this fire.

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Speaker 4: That I have in me that.

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Speaker 3: A lot of people probably wouldn't expect. And I think

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Speaker 3: that fire, like probably has stemmed from having to really

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Speaker 3: fucking fight for myself and fight for my children and

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Speaker 3: fight for the truth and what's right at the same time,

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Speaker 3: not like land on my ass and like.

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Speaker 4: Look like a fool.

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Speaker 3: But I think that's kind of where you and I

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Speaker 3: are similar. Like I see that like outward expression of

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Speaker 3: this badass that you are and you just fucking say

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Speaker 3: it how it is, and I'm like, I have that

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Speaker 3: in me, but I don't know how to express it right,

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Speaker 3: like because again, like you give me a script and

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Speaker 3: I'm I'm good. I could play those like you know,

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Speaker 3: all these characters that I've played over the years on

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Speaker 3: television or in film have been these really strong, badass women,

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Speaker 3: but in life, I'm a little It's like I'm a

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Speaker 3: little more reserved or like that little Mormon girl or

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Speaker 3: those voices come out going like you have to be

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Speaker 3: buttoned up and you have to but that's not the truth.

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Speaker 3: Like I think that's one of the beautiful things about

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Speaker 3: aging as women, you just give less fucks.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that part.

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Speaker 1: But also can I tell you and I can't wait

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Speaker 1: to deep dive into so many different conversations on this podcast.

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Speaker 1: But as I, as I get older, I'm realizing that

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Speaker 1: and I don't even want to call it baggage because

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Speaker 1: I don't look at it that way. But depending on

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Speaker 1: who you meet when you're trying to find a partner

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Speaker 1: you I now have a life where it's like, this

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Speaker 1: is what comes comes with me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, take it or leave it, right, And you know

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Speaker 2: what I tell people.

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Speaker 4: I tell people listen, I'm a.

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Speaker 2: Package deal one hundred percent.

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Speaker 3: I don't need you to pay for my kids. But

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Speaker 3: just so you know, my kids are arriving at the

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Speaker 3: doorstep with.

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Speaker 2: Me one hundred percent.

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Speaker 3: Actually, and a few dogs maybe and a few dogs,

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Speaker 3: few for babies.

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Speaker 2: But you know I have this.

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Speaker 1: I have a very specific I won't date older than forty,

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Speaker 1: give or take a couple of years. And twenty five

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Speaker 1: so ten years younger. And I've been leaning more towards

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Speaker 1: the younger side. I feel like many different ages Mentally,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I am twenty one years old.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, we have so much in common. What are

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Speaker 2: you talking about? Yeah, yeah, young blood.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, But then I'm like, no, I am thirty five,

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Speaker 1: I am self sufficient, I have two babies. I don't

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Speaker 1: need shit from you. And then physically I feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm one hundred.

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Speaker 3: You wear a lot of different hats, and I think

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Speaker 3: a lot of women feel that way, like a lot

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Speaker 3: of women. Yeah, speaking of hats, the holidays are coming up,

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Speaker 3: and do you get overwhelmed with the amount of like

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Speaker 3: people that either show up at your house or like

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Speaker 3: navigating the co parenting of I mean, we share the

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Speaker 3: same baby, daddy, but like the competition of Christmas because

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Speaker 3: it's it's it's Disneyland over there.

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Speaker 4: I mean it's but so yeah, that's what I wanted

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Speaker 4: to ask you, you know, because I'm struggling with this.

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Speaker 2: Are you yeah?

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Speaker 4: Big time? Big time lately?

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Speaker 1: Okay, well, well again, you and I have very we

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Speaker 1: have different ages, and it is like Disneyland over there, and.

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Speaker 2: I know that, and if I was a kid, I

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Speaker 2: would want to live over there too.

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Speaker 3: I'd be like, oh, why we're going to Disneyland because

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Speaker 3: it's fucking Tuesday.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: No, when I got that, trust me, Like the gifts,

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Speaker 1: the gifts are amazing when you're a child. But what

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Speaker 1: I have what I have noticed, is that my job

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Speaker 1: is to not provide Ocean with a bunch of shit.

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Speaker 1: My job with Ocean is to provide her with my time,

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Speaker 1: to provide her with discipline and structure and consistency, and

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Speaker 1: that is where she thrives.

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Speaker 3: That's the greatest gift you can give your children.

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Speaker 1: When she goes to his house and comes back and

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Speaker 1: wants to talk about all of the things that she

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Speaker 1: got and the you know, ten pound bag of candy

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Speaker 1: that she got, I tell her how amazing that is.

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Speaker 1: And then when we go to the store and she's

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Speaker 1: throwing things in the cart, it is a conversation of

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Speaker 1: we're not getting it because of this reason. And I

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Speaker 1: find that empowering, because there's gonna be a day where

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Speaker 1: my child is older and raising kids and she's not.

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Speaker 2: There's gonna be a day where she doesn't care about

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Speaker 2: the shit. She doesn't want a ten pound bag of candy.

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Speaker 2: And let's be honest.

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Speaker 1: This is the other thing that I tell myself in

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Speaker 1: my head. When she wants to talk about everything that

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Speaker 1: her dad gets here, I'm like, her dad's a fucking renter.

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Speaker 2: Her mom's an owner bitch.

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Speaker 4: Whoa mic drop, Mike drop.

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Speaker 2: Oh there's anything wrong with that?

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Speaker 1: Let me be very clear. Yeah, let me be clear again.

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Speaker 1: Nothing wrong with renting. Nothing, there's nothing wrong with renting.

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Speaker 1: It's the fact that you want to buy all this

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Speaker 1: stuff for these kids.

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Speaker 2: But I have my.

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Speaker 1: Business manager saying I can't get a hold of home boy.

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Speaker 1: He owes you X amount of thousands of dollars intuition

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Speaker 1: and child support.

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Speaker 3: You just say, you provide structure, and I really commend

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Speaker 3: you for that, and it's like the greatest I didn't

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Speaker 3: I wasn't able to give my kids that because I

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Speaker 3: was literally in chaos.

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Speaker 4: I was survived. I was literally trying not to kill

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Speaker 4: myself at that time.

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Speaker 2: Not to go dark.

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Speaker 3: But I'm just like, you provide structure, and your kids

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Speaker 3: are still young, so I'm like sitting.

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Speaker 4: Across from the couchpoint like.

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Speaker 3: You could just fucking keep doing it.

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Speaker 4: Like what you're doing is like the right move.

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Speaker 2: But then, like you said, as they get older, it's

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Speaker 2: it's much hard.

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Speaker 4: Let me tell you something.

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Speaker 3: Riley came home with a fucking pair of Gucci sunglasses

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Speaker 3: from New York.

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Speaker 2: Why did she go to New York?

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Speaker 3: She went from Ohio where they were filming, to New

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Speaker 3: York and she came back and I said, Okay, you

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Speaker 3: know what, that's great, Riley. They look actually really good

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Speaker 3: on you. I'm really happy for you. Yeah, And I

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Speaker 3: said it in a very genuine way, and then she

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Speaker 3: was off bouncing around.

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Speaker 4: You know, but that stuff that hurts my ego, right,

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Speaker 4: that's not like that because.

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Speaker 2: You can't go buy her Gucci sunglasses.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to buy her Gucci sunglasses.

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Speaker 3: It's just that I know what he's doing and it

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Speaker 3: breaks my heart for her in London. And it also

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Speaker 3: is like I can't compete with that, and nor do

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Speaker 3: I want to. Like I just I've arrived like materialistic

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Speaker 3: things like I walk around with now a TJ Max bag,

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Speaker 3: and I fucking love this bag. I love it more

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Speaker 3: than any other bag I've ever owned. OK, maybe that's

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Speaker 3: not true, but like close, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Can I tell tell you there. I used to think

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Speaker 1: that all of that shit was so cool. And I'll

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Speaker 1: be honest. I I for both of my girls on

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Speaker 1: their first birthdays. I got them designer bags because I

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Speaker 1: wanted to be the first person to give them their

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Speaker 1: first designer bag.

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Speaker 2: Whatever. Sosa too, Sosa too, Sosa.

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Speaker 1: That might be a good lunch, but a little like

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Speaker 1: Gucci tiny little bag. Right, it's cute, it's whatever. I

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Speaker 1: did it for Sosa, because I did it for Oh.

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Speaker 4: That's a whole nother problem had. Oh my got.

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Speaker 1: But let me tell you, as as someone who has

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Speaker 1: had and you have too, had a lot of shit

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Speaker 1: thrown at them that I have not paid for, and

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Speaker 1: then getting to a place where I can pay for

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Speaker 1: that stuff, and then going to a place where all

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Speaker 1: you want is safety, security, and even if your peace

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Speaker 1: means living in a fucking box, you don't care.

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Speaker 2: I am met in to Chanel uh in.

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Speaker 1: Hawaii and I was like, I'm ready to fucking blow

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Speaker 1: some money. I walked in and I was like, I

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Speaker 1: don't care about any of this fucking shit. No.

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Speaker 3: Well, okay, first of all, Chanel like, you could buy

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Speaker 3: a really nice boy bag for thirty five hundred, forty

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Speaker 3: five hundred.

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Speaker 4: Now they're like eight thousands.

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Speaker 1: Me the one I was looking at was like almost,

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Speaker 1: I want to say, eight thousand dollars.

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Speaker 2: You know what this means.

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Speaker 4: We're maturing.

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Speaker 1: But let me tell you, I was like, this will

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Speaker 1: not bring me an ounce of fucking happiness, no at all,

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Speaker 1: because my good ball sack mite. Oh but give me

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Speaker 1: all the twenty five year old's dick in the world.

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Speaker 1: I want a young, hot, tight big dick tight balls.

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Speaker 2: Wow, can we put this on your dating profile?

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Speaker 1: Twenty five is fine? Right, I'm thirty five? Yeah, like

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Speaker 1: a weird no.

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Speaker 4: No, you're having fun just I deserve it.

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Speaker 3: I didn't say to you.

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Speaker 2: Who are you my mom? Okay, I'm not.

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Speaker 1: I'm rejecting my freaking mother and my brother. They're like

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Speaker 1: grossed out by me right now, and I'm like, what

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Speaker 1: the fuck?

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, let me let me.

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Speaker 1: I want to go on them, let them let me

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Speaker 1: yet we please, And this is exactly the kind of

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Speaker 1: ship we're talking about on this podcast.

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Speaker 2: I love it all right.

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Speaker 1: There was just like a little taste, just the tip

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Speaker 1: of an unlikely affair.

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Speaker 2: Oh.

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Speaker 4: I love a good tip.

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Speaker 1: I just so does he. That's what I've heard. At least,

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Speaker 1: we're going to catch all the men.

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Speaker 2: The tip is where it's at, The tip is where

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Speaker 2: it's at. Anywhere, We're going to catch you.

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Speaker 1: January eighth, for a full episode, Love y'all, Thank you

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Speaker 1: to the crazy.

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Speaker 2: Yes