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Speaker 1: This is John.

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Speaker 2: This is your og Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and.

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Speaker 3: We have some rocking stories for you coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

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Speaker 2: got a quick tune in an ad break from a

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Speaker 2: sponsors keeping the show rocking and rolling.

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Speaker 4: I have a life threatening disease and I don't know

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Speaker 4: how to tell my friend. Oh no a and trigger

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Speaker 4: warning for mentions of I recently got diagnosed with stage

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Speaker 4: four lung cancer that somehow went undetected before. I have

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Speaker 4: up to three months to live according to the doctor.

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Speaker 4: I could try treatments, but it's got to be expensive

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Speaker 4: as heck, and at most it's only going to extend

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Speaker 4: my life by a few more months before I pass away. Anyways,

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Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Agreeable Mind thirty nine

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Speaker 4: eighteen and Motor Dry Explorer thirty fifty eight And if

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Speaker 4: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 4: rsplash Okay Storytime Separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly. We're

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Speaker 4: here to give good advice goofy, but we don't have

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Speaker 4: all the answers. We only know what we do, So

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Speaker 4: let us know what you would do in the comments.

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Speaker 4: Uh op says so I decided I'd just take it

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Speaker 4: and face it head on. My best friend since forever

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Speaker 4: and his wife finally got pregnant after eight years of

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Speaker 4: trying with no luck, and they're genuinely the happiest I've

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Speaker 4: ever seen them. He knows I was in the hospital

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Speaker 4: and they came to check on me multiple times. I

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Speaker 4: just told them they shouldn't bother and that it wasn't serious.

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Speaker 4: I didn't want to make one of the happiest times

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Speaker 4: of both their lives sad because of me. I know

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Speaker 4: it's gonna happen eventually when I do go, and I

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Speaker 4: know it's going to destroy him because we're genuinely closer

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Speaker 4: to each other than we are to our own siblings.

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Speaker 4: He already told me that I'm going to be his

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Speaker 4: daughter's godfather, and I genuinely hope I get to see

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Speaker 4: her at least once before I go.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I'm gonna cry.

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Speaker 5: I'm just gonna get both of us today. Oh.

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Speaker 4: I'm single with no children, and I'm planning to split

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Speaker 4: my estate to give some to my older sister and

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Speaker 4: set up college funds for her three children, who I

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Speaker 4: love very much. I also want to give something to

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Speaker 4: my parents, something to my friend and set up a

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Speaker 4: little college fund for their future baby daughter. I'm writing

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Speaker 4: a long personalized letter to a lot of my family

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Speaker 4: and friends, and I'm writing his now. I can't stop crying.

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Speaker 4: I'm apologizing for keeping this a secret, and I said

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Speaker 4: I didn't want to take the spotlight. I wrote that

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Speaker 4: I love him and his wife and that I know

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Speaker 4: their daughter would be the most loved.

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Speaker 3: Baby in the world.

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Speaker 4: But I'm wondering if this is the right thing to

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Speaker 4: do or if it hurt him even more when I go.

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Speaker 3: Should I just tell him?

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Speaker 4: But there are some comments which we'll get.

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Speaker 3: Into in a moment. But what do you think?

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Speaker 6: Oh?

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Speaker 5: Wow, Yeah, I mean.

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Speaker 4: I think it's a super difficult decision, and you know,

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Speaker 4: don't feel pressured to do anything. Yeah that you're you know,

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Speaker 4: you don't want to do because it is completely your decision. However,

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Speaker 4: I think if you don't have a lot of time left,

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Speaker 4: I think your friend would be very sad, obviously, but

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Speaker 4: probably appreciate those three months and you know, spending more

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Speaker 4: time with you now that he you know, if he.

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Speaker 5: Knew right that he was knowing could prompt the like, well,

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Speaker 5: let's hang out a bit more.

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Speaker 4: Being more intentional with your time. Yeah, because it's it's

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Speaker 4: it's really really hard. Uh, and nothing is going to

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Speaker 4: make this easier. He's not going to take it well.

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Speaker 5: Right, and he's going to be sad either now, yeah,

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Speaker 5: in months from now. So having that time to start, yeah,

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Speaker 5: him knowing.

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Speaker 4: Notable comment says, it's your life. But I guarantee you

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Speaker 4: he'll wish he'd known when you were gone so he

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Speaker 4: could have said a proper goodbye. I've had friends experience

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Speaker 4: this when a loved one didn't tell them the end

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Speaker 4: was near, and it destroyed them emotionally to just wake

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Speaker 4: up to learn they were gone.

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Speaker 3: That's the thing. I know.

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Speaker 4: It'll destroy him when he gets that call. But I

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Speaker 4: also don't like people feeling sorry for me. Outside of

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Speaker 4: my parents and sister, nobody knows yet.

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Speaker 3: This is op now.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and another comment says, bro, I need to be

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Speaker 4: honest with you. I know the feeling of not wanting

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Speaker 4: to be a burden, but trust me, the feeling he

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Speaker 4: will have knowing you didn't tell him will be much

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Speaker 4: more painful. And there is an update. Yeah, I think yeah,

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Speaker 4: I think you got it. I think you should tell him.

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Speaker 4: I agree almost all of you suggested telling him about it,

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Speaker 4: and y'all gave me perspectives. I honestly didn't think about

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Speaker 4: I did it last night right now at six am

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Speaker 4: over here. But last night, after I posted it and

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Speaker 4: got most of your messages, I called him. He answered

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Speaker 4: on the second ring, and I just broke down and

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Speaker 4: started crying. I told him everything about why I was

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Speaker 4: really in the hospital, about my diagnosis and the fact

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Speaker 4: I have up to three months to live. He broke

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Speaker 4: down and called me a beaster and a liar and

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Speaker 4: told me to stop effing with him. Then he hung up.

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Speaker 4: About fifteen minutes later, he came over, still in his pajamas,

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Speaker 4: and we just hugged and cried. I showed him my

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Speaker 4: medical records and reports, and I showed him the post

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Speaker 4: and the comments. He called me crazy and a damn

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Speaker 4: idiot for even thinking about not telling him.

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Speaker 3: He said he'd have hated.

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Speaker 4: Me and himself if I had passed away without telling

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Speaker 4: him beforehand. He said, I'm more important to him than

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Speaker 4: a million babies. We stayed up the entire night just

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Speaker 4: talking about life, reliving memories, laughing and crying. He even

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Speaker 4: took a video of us just talking, and he asked

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Speaker 4: if I really wanted to leave something to him and

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Speaker 4: his daughter, and I said yes. I joked that I

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Speaker 4: wouldn't be needing the money anyway, and that I'm basically

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Speaker 4: throwing it in the trash, and he laughed like it

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Speaker 4: was the funniest thing ever. He left because his wife

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Speaker 4: had an early doctor appointment. I begged him before that

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Speaker 4: that I didn't want any pity or sadness from him

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Speaker 4: or anyone else, and he said, which, I'd never cry

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Speaker 4: for you, even after crying himself the entire night. He

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Speaker 4: hugged me, told me to get some sleep and rest

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Speaker 4: because we have a long day today. I asked what

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Speaker 4: he meant and he.

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Speaker 3: Said I'd see.

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Speaker 5: So.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like a huge weight was lifted off me,

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Speaker 4: and it's mainly thanks to all of you. Thanks again

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Speaker 4: and comments from Ope. Yeah, I love him to my

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Speaker 4: last breath. Uh pun intended, no, homo, though it's joke,

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Speaker 4: He honestly flirts with me, probably more than he does

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Speaker 4: with his wife. She actually has my number saved his

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Speaker 4: side chick knowing him, he'd put the worst picture of

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Speaker 4: me ever there, which is why I'm leaving my funeral planning.

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Speaker 3: Solely to my parents.

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Speaker 4: It's definitely not easy knowing you're passing away soon, especially

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Speaker 4: since I'm twenty eight and thought i'd have much more time.

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Speaker 3: But it is what it is.

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Speaker 4: I guess I'm glad too. I'm just really sad I

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Speaker 4: won't be there to comfort him when I passed away,

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Speaker 4: because I know he'd be destroyed.

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Speaker 3: There is another update, and we're just gonna get into that.

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Speaker 3: So there was no doctor's appointments.

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Speaker 4: Instead, he had his wife bake me this family recipe

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Speaker 4: cake that I absolutely love, and they came over at

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Speaker 4: around ten am with the cake. His wife gave me

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Speaker 4: the biggest mama bear hug and cried and said she

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Speaker 4: loves me and asked if it was true and I

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Speaker 4: said yeah, and we sat down and cried. They were

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Speaker 4: crying for me, but I was crying because the cake

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Speaker 4: was so gosh dang good. They then took me out

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Speaker 4: for a family fun day and it was honestly so good.

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Speaker 4: We went to the mall and watch the Conjuring movie

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Speaker 4: in the cinema because we all love horror, and we

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Speaker 4: even did karting just me and my friend though, because

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Speaker 4: she's too pregnant for this. They took me to my

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Speaker 4: favorite restaurant and refused to let me pay for anything

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Speaker 4: the entire day. We then went to a beach and

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Speaker 4: watched the sun go down and we just talked more

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Speaker 4: about it and we cried some more. I told them

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Speaker 4: when I passed away, I don't want them to be

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Speaker 4: sad at all for me or else I'd haunt them forever.

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Speaker 4: And I told them to love their baby daughter extra

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Speaker 4: hard for me, and they filmed multiple videos of me

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Speaker 4: saying they wanted to remember my voice, which honestly hit

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Speaker 4: me really hard. They told me they wanted me to

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Speaker 4: move in with them until I go because they wanted

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Speaker 4: as much time with me as possible and would love

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Speaker 4: having me around. And honestly, it's perfect timing because my

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Speaker 4: least literally ends two weeks. Lao, you got jokes. They

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Speaker 4: said they don't want to leave me alone. So they're

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Speaker 4: both sleeping at my place tonight and we're giving my

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Speaker 4: bed to his wife and we're taking the couches.

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Speaker 5: We're both trying not to cry, like I still have

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Speaker 5: to read.

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Speaker 3: I can't cry. Oh, there's really nothing that you can do.

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Speaker 5: I think that was like tell them and you did. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: I'm so happy you did me too.

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Speaker 4: It seems like you got You're getting a lot of

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Speaker 4: time to spend with them, and I'm sure that he'll

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Speaker 4: appreciate that for the rest of his life. Yeah, and

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Speaker 4: you'll still be, you know, his daughter's godfather, and you

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Speaker 4: know she'll have she'll grow up knowing all these like

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Speaker 4: wonderful things.

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Speaker 3: About you and having those videos. Oh.

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Speaker 4: I don't wish this sickness on my worst enemy, but honestly,

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Speaker 4: I'm feeling so lucky in loved right now. They literally

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Speaker 4: would not leave me alone, and honestly, I couldn't be

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Speaker 4: any happier. I just wish I'd get to meet their

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Speaker 4: baby at least once before I pass away, and it's

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Speaker 4: possible because she sent her seventh month. Tomorrow, I'm planning

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Speaker 4: to go and tell the rest of my closest family

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Speaker 4: and friends again. Thanks for all your nice words to

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Speaker 4: meet oh Pi, says Elmeo. Uh, you think, go surreal.

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Speaker 4: I want to be a ghost so bad and just

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Speaker 4: f with them after I pass away. They're not letting

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Speaker 4: me go easy. My friend took the entirety of next

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Speaker 4: week off work for this crap. They're not letting me sleep, lameo.

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Speaker 4: They want to keep doing crap. They say they want

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Speaker 4: every last minute possible, and I couldn't be happier today.

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Speaker 4: We filmed way too many videos of us, mainly me

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Speaker 4: doing so much stupid crap and just having fun. They've

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Speaker 4: filmed the video of me talking to Emily, which is

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Speaker 4: what they're calling her, and I was talking about the

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Speaker 4: time me and her dad ended up in a police

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Speaker 4: station on Christmas Eve. I wish I got to tell

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Speaker 4: her these stories alive, but oh well, thanks. Yes, they're

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Speaker 4: wonderful people and I just know that little girl would.

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Speaker 3: Be so loved.

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Speaker 4: They say I'm a test run for them as parents,

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Speaker 4: and that's the end of the story.

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Speaker 5: My best friend blamed me for her problems in front

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Speaker 5: of everyone.

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Speaker 7: It's not my fault.

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Speaker 5: This comes directly from the r slash Okay Storytime separated

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Speaker 5: it woo, it's one of you guys. Back in twenty ten,

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Speaker 5: I currently thirty five had a falling out with my

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Speaker 5: high school best friend and held a grudge for too long,

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Speaker 5: dang losing most of my friends. Mira currently thirty five

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Speaker 5: was also part of the larger friend group and was

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Speaker 5: on the outs with the core friend group as well,

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Speaker 5: and we clicked. I will admit that I did imprint

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Speaker 5: on her at.

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Speaker 4: First Twilight You're a duckling.

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Speaker 3: My daughter.

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Speaker 5: After this monster, we were very close over the next

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Speaker 5: ten years, even after she met her husband Joe, and

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Speaker 5: the three of us would often hang out by the way.

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Speaker 5: This comes from Random Thoughts three seven four and if

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Speaker 5: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 5: r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Sophia, and

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Speaker 5: we're here to give good advice goofuy, but we don't

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Speaker 5: have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

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Speaker 5: so let us know what you would do in the comments,

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Speaker 5: and Opie says. I eventually lost my job and went

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Speaker 5: back to school. During this time, I made friends with

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Speaker 5: my classmates and often tried to include Mira in my

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Speaker 5: new friend groups, but she expressed that she either felt

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Speaker 5: uncomfortable or uninterested, so I stopped. I worked part time

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Speaker 5: jobs on weekends and at my folks place, where they

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Speaker 5: gave me a living loan that I'm still repaying. Mira

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Speaker 5: reintroduced me to our brother's old boy Scout leader Mike

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Speaker 5: and his wife Mary. Currently in their mid sixties, Mike

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Speaker 5: acted as a pseudo father figure to Mira, and we

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Speaker 5: often hung out as a group. Mike also has a

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Speaker 5: business and would offer me gigs to help me out. Eventually,

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Speaker 5: Mira and Joe moved out of state for his work.

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Speaker 5: While away, Mira and I would video call bi weekly

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Speaker 5: and send each other care packages. I did worry that

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Speaker 5: it didn't seem like she was making and keeping friends. Eventually,

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Speaker 5: she did find someone to do some things with, and

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Speaker 5: the jokes were made as long as I I remained

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Speaker 5: best friend, or I'm the best friend and they are

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Speaker 5: just friend. Over the years, we have both said these

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Speaker 5: or something similar. I eventually reconnected with old friends and

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00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:14,080
Speaker 5: fostered new friendships. While Mira did talk about a few people,

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Speaker 5: it was never long lasting. Every year I pinched pennies

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Speaker 5: so I could travel to Mira and spend the holidays

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Speaker 5: with her. I would stay with them for two to

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Speaker 5: three weeks my entire winter break for the three years

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Speaker 5: they lived in that state. I saved all year to

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Speaker 5: do this, which was a lot for a broke college student.

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00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:36,920
Speaker 5: Mira visited twice, once for a funeral and another for

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Speaker 5: an award service for Mike. He paid for her trip.

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00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:45,000
Speaker 5: Mira has a complicated relationship with her family and often

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Speaker 5: used me as a buffer or to decompress afterward. I

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Speaker 5: often acted as a buffer between her and her mother.

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Speaker 5: After she broke up with her mom and went no contact.

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Speaker 5: Mira and Joe moved to another state, but only stayed

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Speaker 5: there for less than a year. They moved back locally

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Speaker 5: in January twenty nineteen, and we tried to pick up

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Speaker 5: where we left off. I was dealing with some family

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Speaker 5: stress and finishing up my degree when the VID hit.

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Speaker 5: We were all stressed, and at the time, Mary was

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Speaker 5: diagnosed with some severe health problems, and we both stepped

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00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:19,880
Speaker 5: up to help. I graduated and was offered a job

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Speaker 5: across the state and moved in twenty twenty. Mira and

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Speaker 5: I resumed video calls, and I would often visit after

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Speaker 5: restrictions lifted. Mira eventually started talking about a new friend, Kelly.

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Speaker 5: I was happy to hear that she was making a

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Speaker 5: new friend. I never pushed to meet Kelly during any

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Speaker 5: of our visits. I lived across state for two and

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Speaker 5: a half years and made nearly quarterly visits. She only

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Speaker 5: visited once for my birthday, and the second time to

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Speaker 5: participate in a large scale obstacle marathon in which I

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Speaker 5: cheered for her. I was beyond proud of her for

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Speaker 5: her achievement. In the last year I lived there, Mary's

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Speaker 5: health declined and she had to receive trainsplant surgeries. I

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00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,800
Speaker 5: spent every day off I had by her bedside and

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Speaker 5: helping Mike where I could. The Scots were very grateful.

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00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,640
Speaker 5: The Scots traveled often and had offered both of us

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Speaker 5: overseas trips since they saw us as pseudo daughters, which

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00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:19,200
Speaker 5: I was extremely honored. I was never in a place

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Speaker 5: financially to take them up on this offer. I returned

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Speaker 5: to our hometown. Mira decided to return to school as well.

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00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:29,520
Speaker 5: I tried to offer advice on how I handled challenging

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00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:32,920
Speaker 5: material and had to balance school and work. Whenever she

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00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:36,920
Speaker 5: complained or vent stress, I eventually stopped and would just

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00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,880
Speaker 5: listen to her event since I started noticing her shutdown.

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Speaker 5: There was an event we were both interested in going

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00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:46,360
Speaker 5: to a few hours away, and we discussed making a

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00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,800
Speaker 5: girl's trip of it. Mira invited Kelly and we discussed

303
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,520
Speaker 5: I should meet her since we'd be sharing a hotel room.

304
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:55,480
Speaker 5: We all met and I liked her. We went on

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00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:59,120
Speaker 5: the trip and all was well. We exchanged numbers so

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00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:02,000
Speaker 5: we could find each other if we got separated. After

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00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:04,280
Speaker 5: the trip, the three of us had a few meetups,

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00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:07,360
Speaker 5: but I never talked to Kelly outside of the group setting.

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Speaker 5: Mia was invited by her mom to join her and

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Speaker 5: her brother on a trip for the holidays, and Joe

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Speaker 5: couldn't go, so Mira invited me to act as a buffer. Again,

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00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:21,800
Speaker 5: we split responsibility for preparing pre meals and things to take.

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Speaker 5: I expressed I didn't want to travel five plus hours

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Speaker 5: with eggs and intended to buy some items while there. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: Mira was short with me about this.

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Speaker 3: What wait, what's the problem? You just buy the eggs there.

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00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:38,560
Speaker 5: We also got there and I forgot my jacket back home.

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Speaker 3: No, that's the worst.

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Speaker 5: I also took the opportunity to let her know that

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Speaker 5: I was taking the Scot's offer to travel overseas with them.

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00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:49,200
Speaker 5: She became very short with me after this, and there

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00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:52,400
Speaker 5: was a lot of friction. I was confused since she

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00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:56,040
Speaker 5: was also offered the trip opportunity. The second day, I

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00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,360
Speaker 5: asked to borrow her car while she did things with

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00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,440
Speaker 5: her brother so I could get the rest of my

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00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:03,280
Speaker 5: items and get a jacket. While I was out, I

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00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:06,120
Speaker 5: topped off her car and put oil in it. I

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00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:09,120
Speaker 5: let her know, and she seemed grateful, but the tension

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00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,640
Speaker 5: just seemed to grow to the point it felt heavy

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00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:15,120
Speaker 5: being around her. She would be snappy or lock herself

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Speaker 5: in her room. I later learned she spent all day

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Speaker 5: in her room drinking on her own. She continued to

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00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:24,240
Speaker 5: use me as an emotional one toeing bag, and we

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00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:28,080
Speaker 5: both decided to leave Christmas Eve, going home three days early.

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00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:32,240
Speaker 5: The next four months, Mira became more short and tempered

336
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:35,120
Speaker 5: with me. I would ask what was wrong and tried

337
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:38,200
Speaker 5: to listen to her stresses, hoping I could help provide relief.

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00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,760
Speaker 5: I know this story is past ten, so you've probably

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00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:44,280
Speaker 5: already done this, but I feel like we needed to

340
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:48,360
Speaker 5: just at that point address why the tension immediately started

341
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:50,200
Speaker 5: in the car and what happened, and not let it

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Speaker 5: stew for three months.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, probably shouldn't have waited so so long, but you know, hindsight.

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Speaker 3: Just for the future. The future.

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00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:02,920
Speaker 5: Let's she had the blood really quiy Kelly's birthday came

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00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,240
Speaker 5: up in May and she invited me. I originally agreed,

347
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:08,720
Speaker 5: but felt weird about it since she was Mira's friend,

348
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:12,200
Speaker 5: not mine. I told Mira I was thinking of pulling out,

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00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,160
Speaker 5: and she told me I had to go for her,

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00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:17,000
Speaker 5: that she needed someone else she knew at the dinner

351
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:20,960
Speaker 5: with new people, I reluctantly agreed to go. The day of,

352
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,320
Speaker 5: we had a previous plan to meet up with the

353
00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:27,359
Speaker 5: Scots to celebrate Mary. While with them, the topic of

354
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,639
Speaker 5: Kelly came up and I expressed that she was Kelly's friend,

355
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:34,640
Speaker 5: not mine, in which Mira snapped, yeah, because we all

356
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,240
Speaker 5: know that you steal friends.

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00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,640
Speaker 3: Dude, Mira, why being nasty?

358
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:43,119
Speaker 5: This caught all of us off guard. The whole table

359
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:47,399
Speaker 5: was shocked, silent. Mira quickly said, well, that was inappropriate.

360
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:49,320
Speaker 5: I'm leaving and left.

361
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Speaker 3: Wait wait wait she.

362
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,840
Speaker 5: Just got up and left after that.

363
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,679
Speaker 3: Who's I thought? Mira said that?

364
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,359
Speaker 5: And then Mira said that was inappropriate and got it.

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00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,480
Speaker 3: Wait sorry, I'm sorry.

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00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:01,399
Speaker 4: Mira went yeah, I know you still friends, and then

367
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:05,400
Speaker 4: went that was inappropriate, And.

368
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,399
Speaker 5: I think it was kind of more of like a

369
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:10,480
Speaker 5: like yeah, self, like, oh, that was inappropriate. I'm gonna leave, but.

370
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:13,639
Speaker 4: She went oops, sorry I said that out loud.

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00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:18,240
Speaker 5: Oh sorry, Like so she's mad with the Scots like

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00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:22,600
Speaker 5: she's been, like, girl, what have no idea. The Scots

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00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:25,360
Speaker 5: and I were very worried, since this was out of character.

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00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,200
Speaker 5: I waited a few hours and texted Mira that, considering

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Speaker 5: what had happened that day, I wouldn't be going to

376
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:36,640
Speaker 5: Kelly's thing. She guilted me into still going. I arrived,

377
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,920
Speaker 5: wished birthday wishes, and when Myra and I were alone,

378
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,399
Speaker 5: I told her we needed to talk later. She said, no,

379
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,800
Speaker 5: we're talking now and had me follow her outside into

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Speaker 5: the parking lot. Before I could get a word out,

381
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,080
Speaker 5: she said that we needed a break and that between school,

382
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,840
Speaker 5: part time work, and life, she didn't have enough spoons for.

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Speaker 3: Me, and then those spoons.

384
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:01,000
Speaker 5: Spoons, and then I needed to leave and wait until

385
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,879
Speaker 5: she was done with school in a year. I broke

386
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,439
Speaker 5: down and was like, what the heck? Just talk to me.

387
00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:12,640
Speaker 5: She exploded and told me three things. One, my jealousy

388
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:16,000
Speaker 5: is the reason she couldn't make and keep friends. What

389
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,880
Speaker 5: was there to be jealous about. I have friends outside

390
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,399
Speaker 5: of her that I've tried to incorporate her into, but

391
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,199
Speaker 5: she refused. Two, she didn't want to take care of

392
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:27,320
Speaker 5: me anymore. I'm a grown woman. I take care of myself.

393
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 5: I survived and thrived the six years, we've lived in

394
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:35,919
Speaker 5: different area codes without her three I'm selfish, Yeah I

395
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,239
Speaker 5: can be, but so can she? Is she referring to

396
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,919
Speaker 5: me taking the Scots offer, since that seems to be

397
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,679
Speaker 5: when I noticed the biggest change in her attitude. The

398
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,879
Speaker 5: Scots also offered her the same thing, but with her

399
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:52,199
Speaker 5: husband as well. After this meltdown, Mira also distanced herself

400
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,040
Speaker 5: from the Scots. They would ask me if I had

401
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:57,600
Speaker 5: heard from her, and all information I had was from

402
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:01,320
Speaker 5: social media, where she posted maybe one a year. I

403
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,840
Speaker 5: spent the next six months spiraling in hurt and anger.

404
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,639
Speaker 5: She had spent the better part of four months using

405
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:12,240
Speaker 5: me as a one toing bag, and she wants a break.

406
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 5: I eventually calmed down and let it go. I still

407
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:19,000
Speaker 5: loved her, and I understood how stressful school and work

408
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:22,360
Speaker 5: could be. Fast forward almost a year and I saw

409
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,840
Speaker 5: her at an event we both attend. I smiled, waved

410
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:29,359
Speaker 5: and said hi, and she ignored me. I shrugged it

411
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 5: off and continued on my way. Later, it became extremely

412
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,040
Speaker 5: obvious she was actively avoiding me.

413
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:40,520
Speaker 4: At one point, Oh man, this was just an exhausting friendship.

414
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,159
Speaker 5: Yeah, kind of seems like it's good for both of

415
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,600
Speaker 5: you guys yet to have a break.

416
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:45,240
Speaker 3: I agree, Like.

417
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,120
Speaker 4: Gobi's like she was treating me like terribly and now

418
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,800
Speaker 4: she wants to take up break. It's like, you know what, honestly,

419
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,880
Speaker 4: if she was treating you terribly, yeah, take that break,

420
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:53,520
Speaker 4: take that break.

421
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:54,600
Speaker 3: Take her up on that offer.

422
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,840
Speaker 5: At one point, we ran into each other in the

423
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 5: hallway and she turned around and went back down the

424
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 5: way she came, leaving her friends to trail after her.

425
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:05,720
Speaker 5: The friend I was with saw and asked what was

426
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:09,199
Speaker 5: going on. I cried in my car that night. She

427
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:13,200
Speaker 5: graduated in June with honors. I'm extremely proud of her

428
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:18,080
Speaker 5: who I lost my mother very suddenly in July. Many

429
00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:21,480
Speaker 5: old friends reached out to me to offer support and condolences.

430
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:25,560
Speaker 5: My oldest friend, who I've grown apart from just due

431
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 5: to life and hadn't seen in years, was on my

432
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:32,560
Speaker 5: doorstep within twenty five minutes of hearing the news. Kara

433
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,679
Speaker 5: has been a great support. She checks in on me

434
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:39,159
Speaker 5: and helped me with the service. Mira only texted me

435
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:42,160
Speaker 5: days after as simple I heard from Mike. I'm so

436
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 5: sorry you lost your mom My thoughts are with you.

437
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 5: No offer of actual support or anything more this angered me.

438
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,160
Speaker 5: If she lost her mom, I'd be on her doorstep

439
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:56,280
Speaker 5: offering everything I have for her, just like Kara did

440
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 5: for me.

441
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 4: But I think this just kind of shows that this

442
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 4: is not a friend and that you know is gonna

443
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:02,760
Speaker 4: be in your life anymore.

444
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:06,040
Speaker 5: I think after you knew she was actively avoiding you,

445
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 5: still yeah, we probably unfortunately couldn't expect any more from

446
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 5: her exactly.

447
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:14,440
Speaker 4: It's like, it's not to say that she's like, it's

448
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:16,680
Speaker 4: not letting her off the hook for it, but it

449
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:20,000
Speaker 4: is just saying like she has never she's not consistently

450
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,439
Speaker 4: not shown up for you. So it's like we can

451
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:24,760
Speaker 4: no longer expect this from a person who has just

452
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:26,640
Speaker 4: not been there for you, which is any.

453
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:29,800
Speaker 5: Other great This just opened my eyes that perhaps I

454
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 5: was the only one putting effort into this relationship. Seems

455
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,200
Speaker 5: so I loved this woman like my sister, And while

456
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:39,240
Speaker 5: I still don't understand what went wrong in our relationship,

457
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,000
Speaker 5: it's been a year and a half since our breakup,

458
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,639
Speaker 5: and I honestly don't know if I'll hear from her again.

459
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,360
Speaker 5: I feel like the last fifteen years have all been

460
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:52,280
Speaker 5: nothing to her. Why couldn't she simply talk to me

461
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:55,360
Speaker 5: if there was something bothering her, why didn't she talk

462
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,800
Speaker 5: to me about the best friend joke? If it made

463
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:01,399
Speaker 5: her uncomfortable, I would have apologized and stopped. What do

464
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:05,119
Speaker 5: I do from here? My heart feels broken? Do I

465
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,199
Speaker 5: continue to wait or just cut my losses? Was I

466
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,119
Speaker 5: the toxic friend she needed to cut out of her life?

467
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:12,840
Speaker 5: That's the end of that story.

468
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:16,639
Speaker 4: I don't think it's like a question of toxic friend

469
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:17,920
Speaker 4: who did wrong?

470
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 3: Bah bah blah.

471
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:21,919
Speaker 4: I think it's just you guys didn't work as friends together,

472
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,160
Speaker 4: and sometimes friends are not meant to stay in.

473
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 3: Your life forever.

474
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:28,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it's unfortunate, but it happens. And it's never

475
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 5: fun to be the one that's like not initiating that especially,

476
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,639
Speaker 5: I mean, it's never fun for either side, but just

477
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:35,719
Speaker 5: to have it sprung on you.

478
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 3: But yeah, I think it's just best to like limit that.

479
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:43,359
Speaker 4: Contact there and you have Kara, Yeah, focus on the

480
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:44,440
Speaker 4: friends that are showing.

481
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 3: Up for you.

482
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly.

483
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:50,080
Speaker 4: My friend chose my mother's side over me. Now I

484
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 4: feel betrayed.

485
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,720
Speaker 5: Oh that's strange.

486
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 4: So I seventeen mail just got my license a couple

487
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 4: of months ago, and I was super excited to find

488
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,639
Speaker 4: I only have some freedom and be able to drive

489
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 4: places with my friends. One of the big things we

490
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 4: had been planning was going to this roller coaster park

491
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 4: that's about a two hour drive away. By the way,

492
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,800
Speaker 4: This comes from able Locksmith ninety five sixteen and if

493
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:14,200
Speaker 4: you want to sumit your own stories, go to the

494
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 4: r slash Okay story time, separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly,

495
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 4: and we're here to give good advice. Goofy, but we

496
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,960
Speaker 4: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

497
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 4: so let us know what you would do in the

498
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:27,160
Speaker 4: comments and op says. When I told my mom about

499
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 4: my plans, she said she didn't want me to go.

500
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 4: She said it was too far of a drive for

501
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,680
Speaker 4: someone who's still a new driver. I tried to tell

502
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,040
Speaker 4: her that it would be a good driving experience and

503
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:40,879
Speaker 4: something fun and memorable to do before we graduated, but

504
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,320
Speaker 4: she didn't budge. I was frustrated, but at the same

505
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,880
Speaker 4: time I get that she's my mom and her whole

506
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:47,880
Speaker 4: job is to worry.

507
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:49,960
Speaker 3: About my safety, so it wasn't that mad at her.

508
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 5: You can also get that like maybe driving two hours

509
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 5: away and potentially getting stuck. Yeah, becaure's a lot of drivers,

510
00:24:58,520 --> 00:24:59,119
Speaker 5: maybe get.

511
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 7: Some more driving exper before that.

512
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,480
Speaker 4: I think that's I think that's a reasonable thing for

513
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:06,200
Speaker 4: her to be, like, yeah, we were to wait, um

514
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 4: and that we wouldn't get to have this fun road

515
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:12,639
Speaker 4: trip I had planned. Later that night, I messaged my friends.

516
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 4: I just let them know that the whole thing was

517
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:17,440
Speaker 4: off because my mom said no and I was basically

518
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 4: venting a little. Most of my friends responded, how I.

519
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,920
Speaker 3: Expected, Yeah, that sucks basically.

520
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:26,240
Speaker 4: But one of my friends, let's call him Jim, so

521
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:29,159
Speaker 4: that we should respect my mom's decisions because she just

522
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:35,359
Speaker 4: wants us to be safe, okay, Jim, as as Jim's

523
00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 4: giving the exact advice that we just gave, Like, all right.

524
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:44,960
Speaker 7: Jim, allow down there, Jim Jeeves safety.

525
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh, we got a captain safety over here. I said.

526
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 4: It felt like he was taking my mom's side of

527
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:55,400
Speaker 4: her mind. That's when Jim told me I was acting immature.

528
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,959
Speaker 4: What made it worse was that my other friends started

529
00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,720
Speaker 4: siding with him and telling me that I need a

530
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 4: oh up for being annoyed about this. I told my

531
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 4: mom about this conversation I had. I was curious if

532
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 4: she thought my friends should side with me on this

533
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 4: because they're my friends, or her because they agree with her,

534
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:13,240
Speaker 4: instead of getting where I was coming from.

535
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 3: She praised Jim.

536
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 4: She said this showed I had good friends, and then

537
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 4: added that good friends don't just back you up when

538
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 4: you're wrong. That's stung way more than her original no.

539
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 5: And also some great continuing of advice from mom.

540
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, mom's mom is nailing it.

541
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:32,480
Speaker 3: All of your friends are nailing it.

542
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,960
Speaker 5: Oh, he's gonna watch it. It'd be like two more

543
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 5: people that don't say stop.

544
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.

545
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 4: Op, you're seventeen, you'll understand when you're older.

546
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:45,639
Speaker 5: And I one hundred percent agreed that it's good that

547
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:47,560
Speaker 5: your friends don't just agree with you.

548
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 7: Yeah, I think it can be really badly.

549
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 3: I don't think it'll work just yes, man.

550
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 5: Yeah.

551
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:56,240
Speaker 3: One friends's gonna.

552
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 4: Be like dude, yeah, you know, like your mom's right,

553
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:01,879
Speaker 4: And then when you say, what the heck weren't you

554
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 4: starting with me, They're gonna be like dude.

555
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:06,200
Speaker 3: Okay, come on, let's get over it.

556
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 5: Yeah.

557
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 4: At this point, I'm not even mad at my mom anymore.

558
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 4: I get what she said. No, what really bugs me

559
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,760
Speaker 4: is Jim, I was just benting about how disappointed I was,

560
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,359
Speaker 4: and he turned around and made me feel like I

561
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:20,040
Speaker 4: was the wrong for even being upset. Feels like both

562
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,159
Speaker 4: of them ended up on the same side and I

563
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 4: was the odd one out. I keep thinking, if the

564
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,200
Speaker 4: roles were reversed, I wouldn't have done that to him.

565
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:29,960
Speaker 4: Am I really the one and the wrong here? Is

566
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 4: Jim right and I'm being immature? Or am I justified

567
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 4: being annoyed at how he handled it? There are some

568
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:39,240
Speaker 4: comments you're being immature, but you're seventeen.

569
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:43,080
Speaker 5: Right, But this time then maybe we start growing up

570
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 5: from these things.

571
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:48,160
Speaker 4: It's no big deal. Everyone's got you know, I'm annoyed

572
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 4: at my mom and you want your friends to get her.

573
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:55,240
Speaker 5: Sure, but then we move on, we row and then you.

574
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 4: Go okay, and it seems like you understand that both

575
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:02,200
Speaker 4: are right here right. Wanted your friends to be like, yeah,

576
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:09,119
Speaker 4: that sucks, man, and you know, maybe that's super fair, but.

577
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 5: But we can't get mad from them, just like innocently.

578
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:14,880
Speaker 3: Right, I get it.

579
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 4: Commenter one says you're the ale. You're being immature about it.

580
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 4: Op says they were on board with the trip until

581
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 4: my mom said she didn't approve how was that maturity?

582
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:27,159
Speaker 4: I shared this post in the group chat and they

583
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:30,959
Speaker 4: renamed it Jonah's mom is always right. I'm not the

584
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:36,560
Speaker 4: only immature one here lmao. That's just common one, says Ah. Yes,

585
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,840
Speaker 4: doubling down is going to help. Op says I've been

586
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,920
Speaker 4: placed in a no win situation. All I wanted was

587
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 4: to go on a fun trip. My mom shoots it down.

588
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 4: I say, I'm disappointed, that's how she feels, and ask

589
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 4: if we should go anyway, and my friends turn on me.

590
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 5: Okay, you.

591
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,240
Speaker 3: That you didn't say that.

592
00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 7: I just said you dropped it.

593
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, you said I just complained about it. You didn't

594
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,400
Speaker 4: say that. You try to convince them to go anyway.

595
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 4: My crime was being a newly qualified driver and wanting

596
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 4: to take advantage of that. Does that really make me

597
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,240
Speaker 4: a villain? Common or two says villain?

598
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:15,680
Speaker 3: No.

599
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 4: Not realizing that your friends have your back even if

600
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 4: they disagree with you. Yeah, seriously, you have a friend

601
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 4: who will go Is this a good idea instead of

602
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 4: going with the flow.

603
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 3: That's huge.

604
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,400
Speaker 4: It shows he actually cares about you and what happens

605
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 4: to you.

606
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 3: Yeah.

607
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 4: That being said, you're a newly qualified driver and you

608
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 4: want to take a two hour road trip to a

609
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 4: theme park with friends. Have you ever driven with a

610
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 4: bunch of hyped up, excited teenage boys. They're effing distracting.

611
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 4: Have you ever driven when you're mentally exhausted? It would

612
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 4: not recommend. Have you ever driven when crap goes sideways?

613
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 4: What do you do if you get a flat? You're

614
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 4: a brand new driver, practice driving first before making road trips.

615
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 4: Commoner three says, you're the a hole. Yeah, Jim is right,

616
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 4: you're being immature. Take a deep breath and apologize. Op says,

617
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 4: I just feel like it's seventeen. It's fine to be

618
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 4: willing to take risks. I actually find it kind of

619
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,480
Speaker 4: puzzling that my mom not approving was enough to change

620
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,640
Speaker 4: his mind, because earlier he did want to go on

621
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 4: the trip.

622
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:19,480
Speaker 5: He causably also went to his parents. Yeah, and they

623
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 5: also said this isn't a great idea, And he was.

624
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 4: Like, yeah, you're right, Yeah, it's it's not puzzling to me.

625
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 4: This is like you go to your parents and you

626
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,840
Speaker 4: say I want to go on this crazy trip and

627
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 4: they say, hey, here are the reasons why we don't

628
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,560
Speaker 4: think that's a good idea. Yeah, and you go oh,

629
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:35,640
Speaker 4: those are good reasons.

630
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 5: He also might not have agreed with you the whole

631
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:40,880
Speaker 5: time and just didn't have a reason to say.

632
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:41,959
Speaker 3: It was a good idea.

633
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:44,440
Speaker 4: Common or for says it's fine to be willing to

634
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 4: take risks, but it's not fine to be willing to

635
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,719
Speaker 4: risk the lives and safety of all of your friends.

636
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 4: As an inexperienced driver trying to take a long I

637
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:57,480
Speaker 4: assume highway drive which you will have to drive everyone

638
00:30:57,520 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 4: home from after a long day when you're tired. For

639
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 4: all we know, maybe nothing would happen, but maybe you crash,

640
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 4: Maybe you and your friends could get hurt or worse.

641
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 4: Everyone takes risks at seventeen, you're right, but is it

642
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:16,480
Speaker 4: worth taking this risk? After some reconsideration, which is normal

643
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 4: and happens often when people hear different perspectives and opinions,

644
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 4: it seems your friends are no longer comfortable taking that risk.

645
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 4: That's okay. Commenter five says, info is driver's ad really

646
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 4: that lacking? Wherever op is even during lessons we go

647
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:34,440
Speaker 4: on the highway here root on exam is decided by raffle,

648
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 4: and even that can include highway. If we have twenty

649
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 4: hour official driving lessons we could drive anywhere in the

650
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 4: country by ourselves as long as the education center signs

651
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 4: off that we are qualified, as long as we don't

652
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 4: take passengers, so we can keep practicing until our exams.

653
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 4: Commenter six says in Vermont, drivers under eighteen get a

654
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:54,520
Speaker 4: junior license for the first six months with restrictions no

655
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 4: driving for work and no passengers, and under eighteen for

656
00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 4: the first three months. Twenty years ago, in New Hampshire

657
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:03,080
Speaker 4: Driver's Ed we add a two hour lesson on the

658
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,440
Speaker 4: party in your car. The more distractions a driver has,

659
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:10,640
Speaker 4: the higher the accident risk. Statistics showed a huge difference

660
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 4: between new drivers alone versus those with friends in the car.

661
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:17,680
Speaker 4: We practice this by sorting cards while listening to music,

662
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:22,480
Speaker 4: doing math problems, and aving classmates distract us. Our instructors

663
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 4: gave personalized warning lists of things we passed on but

664
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 4: still worried them. Mine was driving on roads with three

665
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 4: or more lanes, lane changes in traffic. Others got warnings

666
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 4: about night driving, bad weather, or making increasing mistakes after

667
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:40,640
Speaker 4: thirty minutes behind the wheel. So putting a new driver

668
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 4: in a car with several distractions for a long drive,

669
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 4: presumably through traffic and lane changes, is asking for trouble.

670
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 4: OHP might still convince his mom. Options include a driver run. Hey, Mom,

671
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 4: I want to treat you and younger sibling to the

672
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 4: amusement park. If I drive both there and back with

673
00:32:58,080 --> 00:32:59,720
Speaker 4: you in the car and pay for our day there,

674
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:02,640
Speaker 4: will you let me do it again with friends? Mom

675
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 4: as the option to take over if she deems Op's

676
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 4: behavior unsafe, or change the date to April or May

677
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 4: next year. Opie says he's seventeen and wants to do

678
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 4: this before graduation. Most graduations are in May or June.

679
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 4: Six or more months of extra practice and volunteering to

680
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 4: drive for longer periods could help so she stops worrying,

681
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:26,080
Speaker 4: or choose a closer location. The ocean is a two

682
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:28,000
Speaker 4: and a half hour drive, but a nice big lake

683
00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:30,960
Speaker 4: with a beach is forty five minutes. Comina five says, yeah,

684
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:34,160
Speaker 4: I missed that he's seventeen, but still if he passed,

685
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 4: it either means he's a good enough driver or exams

686
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 4: don't mean much there. I totally disagree with that. I totally,

687
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:44,360
Speaker 4: I totally disagree with that. I'm sorry. An exam can

688
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:47,240
Speaker 4: tell you a couple things. It can tell you that

689
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 4: you know how to use you know your blinker. Yeah,

690
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:55,200
Speaker 4: that you know at a park that you know how

691
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 4: to make a K to make a turn.

692
00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 6: Yeah.

693
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 5: I remember taking my toe and then being out driving

694
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 5: with my parents after still and having not done a

695
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:07,240
Speaker 5: lot of the things I was still encountering because we

696
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,280
Speaker 5: only practiced for the test.

697
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:13,719
Speaker 4: Yes, but even even if you have an incredibly extensive,

698
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:18,799
Speaker 4: thorough test, it's still you still just do not have.

699
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 4: It's like saying a person who has studied all of

700
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 4: the like if they're going to medical school or something.

701
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:28,440
Speaker 3: A person that's taken.

702
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 4: Like a biology class or an anatomy class and knows

703
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:35,319
Speaker 4: all of the information about the body is able to

704
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 4: operate on a human. You don't have the experience.

705
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:43,319
Speaker 3: You might have the like knowledge of it.

706
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:45,840
Speaker 5: We're just lacking wrong.

707
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:50,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, you knowing how like being comfortable enough in the

708
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:52,759
Speaker 4: car to know that you need to swerve or not

709
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,080
Speaker 4: swerve when someone is coming at you.

710
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:57,600
Speaker 5: The tired driving one, I think is a big one

711
00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:00,720
Speaker 5: after a full day in a theme part. So oh, differends,

712
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:02,799
Speaker 5: they're probably your rowdy friends on the way up are

713
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:03,879
Speaker 5: all gonna be asleep when.

714
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 4: You just don't have that stamina.

715
00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:07,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's it's it's just.

716
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 4: I totally disagree with that comment. Commoner continues, here, you

717
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:16,160
Speaker 4: can take your theoretical at seventeen and your classes as well,

718
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:18,239
Speaker 4: so you can be ready to take your practical exam

719
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 4: when you're eighteen. When you have your permanent license, you

720
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:23,480
Speaker 4: need to go back to retest after about six months

721
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 4: to make sure everything's stuck. Though that's a fairly new rule,

722
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 4: I asked, because I know not all countries have the

723
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:33,800
Speaker 4: same standard on driver's head nor regulations about it. Plus,

724
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,080
Speaker 4: not every country has the same concept on what a

725
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:39,239
Speaker 4: long drive entails. Here, a lot of people drive over

726
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,000
Speaker 4: an hour to work, so a two hour drive for

727
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:44,239
Speaker 4: fun is rather minor, though on a low traffic day

728
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,279
Speaker 4: it could get you to literally the other side of

729
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,280
Speaker 4: the country. Heck, Co'm twenty minutes to two hours driving

730
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:53,840
Speaker 4: away from four other countries with current traffic cognitions. Again, commenter,

731
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:54,880
Speaker 4: you're wrong.

732
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:56,320
Speaker 5: We're not in Europe.

733
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,239
Speaker 4: We're not in Europe. You seem to be because I'm

734
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:01,919
Speaker 4: thinking about like the eight I mean, you're a whole state.

735
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:04,880
Speaker 4: Well also just being eighteen, Like, yeah, the laws there,

736
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:08,200
Speaker 4: we're not in Europe. You also don't know what the

737
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:11,440
Speaker 4: traffic conditions are like in this place, right, person driving

738
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 4: in LA totally different than a person driving in the countryside. Right.

739
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 5: And if he's in a big state in the middle

740
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:20,399
Speaker 5: of countryside, sure traffic could be lighter. But then that

741
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,080
Speaker 5: truly leads to the like, if something goes wrong, you

742
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 5: are stuck. You're sing stuck.

743
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 4: There are so many different scenarios and stuff that depend

744
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 4: on where you live. I wunder six says, I don't

745
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,279
Speaker 4: know if times are just changing or you just have

746
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 4: very responsible friends.

747
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:33,759
Speaker 6: Ah.

748
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 4: Back when I was sixteen or seventeen and one of

749
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,600
Speaker 4: my parents told me I couldn't drive somewhere no way,

750
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:40,880
Speaker 4: And heck would I or any of my friends say

751
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:44,359
Speaker 4: we should respect your mom's decision. Ah, we would figure

752
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:46,320
Speaker 4: out a way to do it anyway without getting caught

753
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:50,360
Speaker 4: bad advice from that commentary and the verdict.

754
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:50,520
Speaker 5: Is a whole.

755
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:52,120
Speaker 4: I don't think you're an a whole. I think you're

756
00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 4: just a seventeen year old who wants to do something

757
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 4: and thinks that you're invisible. Yeah, which is almost seventeen

758
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:00,320
Speaker 4: year olds. But there is an update, eight.

759
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:01,879
Speaker 3: Folks, So let's get into it.

760
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 4: I've spent the past couple of hours trying to think

761
00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 4: about what part of this truly bothered me. At first,

762
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 4: I thought I was just mad because he sided with

763
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 4: my mom, But after really thinking about it, I realized

764
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 4: the real issue was that I didn't know how to

765
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:16,799
Speaker 4: respond to what he said in the moment when I

766
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 4: was venting. I was expecting the kind of support you

767
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 4: usually get from friends when you're frustrated, even if they

768
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:24,839
Speaker 4: don't agree one hundred percent, they just let you blow

769
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:29,360
Speaker 4: off steam. But instead Jim called me imature. That totally

770
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:32,000
Speaker 4: caught me off guard, and I didn't have any comeback

771
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 4: or way to defend myself. It felt like he had

772
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:36,680
Speaker 4: kind of put me in a corner in front of everyone,

773
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:39,920
Speaker 4: and that made me even more upset. Another part of

774
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 4: why I took it so hard is because honestly, I

775
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:44,200
Speaker 4: really wanted this trip to be something that would bring

776
00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:46,920
Speaker 4: me closer to everyone. I've always felt like I'm on

777
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:48,960
Speaker 4: the edge of the group sometimes, and I thought being

778
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 4: the one to drive us on this big adventure would

779
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:54,440
Speaker 4: show them I was dependable and fun to be around.

780
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:58,479
Speaker 5: All oh, oh, Pie, that's very cute, I will say,

781
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:00,759
Speaker 5: You're probably not gonna talk about to these people when

782
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 5: you probably not, probably not, but you handled that way

783
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 5: more mature in the sitting back and thinking about it

784
00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:09,320
Speaker 5: and rethinking.

785
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:11,920
Speaker 4: It all through and und so. I guess the reason

786
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 4: I was annoyed is because the whole situation made me

787
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 4: feel powerless. I couldn't convince my mom to let me go,

788
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 4: I couldn't get my friends to see my side, and

789
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:23,319
Speaker 4: I couldn't even properly explain why I was upset. It's

790
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 4: like I was frustrated on three different levels at once,

791
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:27,840
Speaker 4: and it all came out as me being mad at Jim.

792
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:31,640
Speaker 4: I'm still disappointed the trip didn't happen, but I think

793
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:33,759
Speaker 4: the reason I was upset with Jim has more to

794
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:36,080
Speaker 4: do with me feeling like I lost control of the

795
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 4: situation than with what he actually said. I just don't

796
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 4: know how to deal with that in the moment. I

797
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 4: did talk to Jim afterward, and we managed.

798
00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 3: To clear the air good.

799
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:47,680
Speaker 4: He said he hadn't meant to make me feel singled out,

800
00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:50,160
Speaker 4: and he genuinely thought he was just looking out for us.

801
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:53,439
Speaker 4: Once we both explained where we were coming from, things

802
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 4: felt a lot better and we were good again.

803
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:59,120
Speaker 3: And there you go. There you go, Love that love

804
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:02,360
Speaker 3: that a better Hey, it's Sam.

805
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 2: We'll get back to the stories, but here's three minutes

806
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 2: of ads from our sponsors.

807
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:09,640
Speaker 7: My boyfriend cheated and gas led me into thinking that

808
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 7: I was the problem.

809
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:12,200
Speaker 6: He sucked.

810
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:15,719
Speaker 7: I thirty female, was with my ex for eight and

811
00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 7: a half years, Dang. Six of those years were long

812
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:22,239
Speaker 7: distance before he finally moved from Sydney to Melbourne so

813
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:25,440
Speaker 7: we could build a life together. We even bought a house.

814
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 7: I thought we were unshakable. Instead, he turned out to

815
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 7: be a manipulative, gaslighting coward who betrayed me with the colleague.

816
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:35,919
Speaker 7: And by the way, this comes from a difficult view

817
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:37,800
Speaker 7: sixty eight to forty five. And if you want to

818
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 7: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay,

819
00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:44,919
Speaker 7: storytime Supreddit And I'm Angie, I'm Sophia, and we're here

820
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,640
Speaker 7: to give good advice goofully, But we don't have all

821
00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 7: the answers, so we're just gonna guess.

822
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:51,120
Speaker 3: What we would do in this situation.

823
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:53,520
Speaker 7: But let us know what you would do down below,

824
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:57,359
Speaker 7: so Opie says. The beginning of the end came on

825
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:01,520
Speaker 7: the seventh of March. He rolled in at four am

826
00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 7: after celebrating with graduates at work. Meanwhile, my younger brother,

827
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:09,920
Speaker 7: who was at the same event, was already home by midnight.

828
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:13,880
Speaker 7: He had barely texted me all day, ignored my calls,

829
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:16,719
Speaker 7: and later brushed it off with excuses like, oh, my

830
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:19,680
Speaker 7: phone battery was low and I was keeping people safe.

831
00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:20,640
Speaker 3: I don't buy it.

832
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:25,120
Speaker 7: When he finally crawled into bed, I snapped. I told

833
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,920
Speaker 7: him I wished I had broken up with him two.

834
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:29,400
Speaker 3: And a half years earlier.

835
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:33,399
Speaker 7: Yeah, because deep down I had never recovered from an

836
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:38,880
Speaker 7: earlier betrayal. Oh wow. On our first anniversary living together,

837
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:42,719
Speaker 7: I found a USB almost entirely full of corn of

838
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:46,520
Speaker 7: one influencer with edits so warped I couldn't even tell

839
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:50,080
Speaker 7: if it was her body or something he had fabricated. Yikes,

840
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 7: my god, I've never cared about corn itself. What cut

841
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 7: deep was that he once brushed her off to me

842
00:40:56,719 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 7: as just average. Finding those images was and when I

843
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:04,000
Speaker 7: hit a major career milestone, he didn't even show up.

844
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:06,719
Speaker 7: This is the same man who had just quit his

845
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 7: job to fly to Vietnam for a Bucks trip. It

846
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:13,640
Speaker 7: but somehow the trip from Sydney to Melbourne for me

847
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 7: it was too much. He didn't celebrate my graduation or

848
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 7: me being a keynote speaker at my workplace. The cracks

849
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:23,320
Speaker 7: in our relationship weren't just showing, they were gaping.

850
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:26,080
Speaker 4: I'm kind of shocked that they lasted as long as

851
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:26,479
Speaker 4: they did.

852
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:27,239
Speaker 3: Yeah. Right.

853
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:30,400
Speaker 7: His reaction to my outburst floored me, not because it

854
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,759
Speaker 7: was genuine, but because it was straight out of a

855
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 7: bad soap opera. He cried, clutched his chest like he

856
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 7: was having a heart attack, and acted utterly shattered. The

857
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:43,480
Speaker 7: very next day, he asked for a break, saying that

858
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:48,760
Speaker 7: something in him had shifted. March was heck. I blamed

859
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 7: myself every single day, begging for forgiveness, chasing after him

860
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:55,280
Speaker 7: all while trying to hold it together as a bride'smaid.

861
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:57,360
Speaker 7: At a wedding where he could barely look at me,

862
00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:59,719
Speaker 7: he didn't want to take pictures with me at all,

863
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,360
Speaker 7: and that broke me even more. I begged him to

864
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:04,719
Speaker 7: try couples counseling, to spend time with me, to take

865
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:06,799
Speaker 7: time off of work, even just to read a book

866
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:10,719
Speaker 7: on communication. He refused every single thing because drama was

867
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:14,319
Speaker 7: easier for him than actually doing the work. Then, on

868
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:16,880
Speaker 7: the twenty fourth of March, my gut told me to

869
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:21,240
Speaker 7: check our shared iPad. What I found made my stomach drop.

870
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:26,279
Speaker 7: YouTube searches from March sixth like should you leave her

871
00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:30,480
Speaker 7: on red? Ways to text women first kiss, advice, how

872
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:33,480
Speaker 7: to make a girl want you, It's embarrassing. It was

873
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:38,040
Speaker 7: very embarrassing. From there, everything started unraveling. I messaged my

874
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:40,400
Speaker 7: younger brother, who had actually gotten him his job, and

875
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:44,400
Speaker 7: finally the truth spilled out. Colleagues had warned my brother

876
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:47,880
Speaker 7: that my ex was getting close to a twenty year

877
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:50,640
Speaker 7: old named Tiffany. He was going to tell me the

878
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:52,520
Speaker 7: day before, but my ex was with.

879
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:53,439
Speaker 3: Me when we went over.

880
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:57,960
Speaker 7: Suddenly, all the excuses of late trains, comforting a colleague

881
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:01,319
Speaker 7: I need to be in office all lined up. My

882
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:04,120
Speaker 7: sister's boyfriend even said that he had seen someone who

883
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 7: looked like him with a girl in the city. I

884
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:11,600
Speaker 7: completely broke down. My mom and brothers literally held me

885
00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:14,399
Speaker 7: as I had a panic attack. When I confronted him,

886
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:17,120
Speaker 7: he followed me around the house, blocked me from leaving,

887
00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:21,799
Speaker 7: and dripbed had missions. First, nothing happened, and then I

888
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:23,760
Speaker 7: confide it in her because I had no one else.

889
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 7: Then she held my hand outside work in front of

890
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:30,400
Speaker 7: the building. Then I didn't even realize she was holding

891
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:33,279
Speaker 7: my hand until we crossed the road. He's like, I

892
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:38,279
Speaker 7: get really scared crossing road. We're taught to hold.

893
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:40,040
Speaker 4: You know, our buddy's hand.

894
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then look.

895
00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:47,800
Speaker 7: Both ways sides, always minimizing, always twisting, always deflecting. Around

896
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 7: that time, I was also suddenly cooked off our home

897
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 7: security system, something he brushed off, claiming he couldn't fix it.

898
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:57,440
Speaker 7: His mom begged me to forgive him, saying, if he

899
00:43:57,560 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 7: does one more thing wrong, then you can tim ap.

900
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 7: She even asked me to make sure that my mom

901
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 7: didn't tell anyone in the extended family, just to protect

902
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:10,759
Speaker 7: their image. Meanwhile, I was drowning in evidence lingerie. He

903
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:13,680
Speaker 7: claimed that he bought for me that was actually hers,

904
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 7: a photo strip of them together. He insisted the date

905
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:19,480
Speaker 7: was wrong and that he looked happy.

906
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:19,920
Speaker 3: But he wasn't.

907
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 7: Messages from her saying I love you, I miss you, baby,

908
00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 7: I wish you were in my bed, and eventually videos

909
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:32,600
Speaker 7: and photos of them sleeping together. He had tried to

910
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:34,880
Speaker 7: delete them, but I found them sitting in his Google

911
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,640
Speaker 7: account's trash folder all on my birthday.

912
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 4: That's embarrassing for him that really didn't even figure out

913
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 4: how to delete them, honestly, and also, it sucks that

914
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 4: it was on your birthday, and at all we were

915
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 4: supposed to have dinner together that night.

916
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,720
Speaker 7: I'll never forget the feeling of scrolling through these photos

917
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:53,600
Speaker 7: and videos as my heart shattered all over again. Through

918
00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:56,760
Speaker 7: it all, he still played the victim. He cried about

919
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,560
Speaker 7: being effed up and rotting in his own guilt. He

920
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:02,520
Speaker 7: told me I'd be fine because everyone loves you, while

921
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 7: he had no one, yeah, except the boys back home.

922
00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:09,719
Speaker 7: He never bothered to call guest speed dial only worked

923
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 7: for Tiffany. He even punched a hole in the wall

924
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 7: during a heated argument when I said her name, demanding

925
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 7: why I kept bringing her up and swearing that he

926
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:22,880
Speaker 7: was done with her because she had moved departments. Meanwhile,

927
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:25,320
Speaker 7: the phone records show that he was calling her almost

928
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:27,600
Speaker 7: every single day, even on the days that he swore

929
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 7: he loved me, that I was his endgame, and that

930
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:33,919
Speaker 7: he wanted to propose in Japan twenty twenty five, and

931
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,440
Speaker 7: that I was meant to be the mother of his children.

932
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 7: Nothing but lies. Honestly, I wish I'd checked sooner and

933
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:43,440
Speaker 7: saved myself a few more months of this crap show.

934
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 3: Shout out to.

935
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 7: Facebook reels for giving me the inspiration to dig through

936
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:51,920
Speaker 7: the records. Best LOL I've had in hindsight. What also

937
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:55,200
Speaker 7: disgusted me was when he went away for a weekend

938
00:45:55,239 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 7: to stay with his relatives. I finally had some quiet

939
00:45:57,719 --> 00:46:00,600
Speaker 7: time to journal and process my thoughts, which I later

940
00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:02,880
Speaker 7: read to him. I didn't even make it halfway and

941
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:06,800
Speaker 7: he was already acting up. He sneered, whatever you're saying,

942
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:09,560
Speaker 7: why are you writing this weird crap? It's like you

943
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 7: haven't listened to me for the past two to three months.

944
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:16,560
Speaker 7: You're acting like the victim. Am I not a victim

945
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:21,239
Speaker 7: of his infidelity. The lying just never stopped. Even in

946
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:24,360
Speaker 7: our first and only couples counseling session, when the therapist

947
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:27,480
Speaker 7: asked so when you slept with Tiffany, he denied it

948
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:31,480
Speaker 7: to her face Oscar worthy performance if the category was

949
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:36,440
Speaker 7: best gaslighter. I finally reached out to Tiffany on July fifth.

950
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:39,600
Speaker 7: At first, she didn't want to talk and said, I

951
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 7: don't think we should be having this conversation without Brad. Honestly,

952
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:45,960
Speaker 7: that told me everything I needed to know. I went

953
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:49,279
Speaker 7: in thinking maybe she'd been manipulated like me, But come on,

954
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:53,840
Speaker 7: my clothes, my things, my life was everywhere in that house.

955
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:56,000
Speaker 7: There's no way that.

956
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 3: She didn't know.

957
00:46:57,160 --> 00:46:59,840
Speaker 7: She admitted she'd asked him multiple times if he was single.

958
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:03,560
Speaker 7: She wasn't about to get into a relationship with someone

959
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:07,719
Speaker 7: who wasn't, and he lied every time. According to her,

960
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:11,080
Speaker 7: they'd been official since late February, while he was still

961
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:14,439
Speaker 7: sleeping in my bed. She confirmed that she had been

962
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:17,760
Speaker 7: in my house. She confirmed the Yellow Lingerie was hers.

963
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:20,960
Speaker 7: She confirmed that I was the one who initially wanted counseling,

964
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 7: but after Tiffany's involvement, he wanted to push for multiple sessions,

965
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 7: and he spun it as though he was just supporting me.

966
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:32,080
Speaker 7: Classic the same man who begged to go then flipped

967
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,759
Speaker 7: it to make me look needy. And the cherry on

968
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:39,440
Speaker 7: top he was intimate with both of us. Unprotected romantic

969
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:44,719
Speaker 7: right yikes? Yeah, no, just disgusting. I told her to

970
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:47,439
Speaker 7: get tested just in case. I know my body count

971
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:50,560
Speaker 7: is one, but god knows where else he's been. Internet

972
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:52,719
Speaker 7: history was absolutely tragic.

973
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:53,800
Speaker 3: Forget endgame.

974
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:55,719
Speaker 7: This thirty one year old man was stuck on the

975
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:58,000
Speaker 7: tutorial level asking Google how to play?

976
00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:02,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, literally yeah, He's literally like, oh, how have kids

977
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:03,280
Speaker 4: would kiss.

978
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:05,839
Speaker 3: How do you know if a girl likes you soon?

979
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:08,640
Speaker 7: Can you hold a girl's hand? From February through May,

980
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:11,359
Speaker 7: he searched things like how to attract women and ten

981
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:15,759
Speaker 7: psychology techniques crazy. Three ways to make women fall for

982
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 7: you on a first date. How to make her want

983
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,360
Speaker 7: you without trying hard? How to kiss someone for the

984
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 7: first time, Get a girl that just got out of

985
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:26,280
Speaker 7: a relationship. What, How to pursue a woman without being needy?

986
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:28,200
Speaker 7: Four ways to attract.

987
00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:30,680
Speaker 3: Women without saying a word. Oh my god, there's the

988
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:31,200
Speaker 3: worst part.

989
00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 4: So many who just doesn't know how to talk to women.

990
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:36,920
Speaker 7: Yeah, how to behave around a girl you like? The

991
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 7: science of getting girls? First kiss, advice, age, bad kisser,

992
00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 7: and more. How to become more handsome without changing your appearance?

993
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,040
Speaker 7: AI girlfriend, Oh.

994
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:52,799
Speaker 4: My gosh, I would be honestly, the cheating is terrible, right,

995
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:55,640
Speaker 4: but I would be like, damn, I'm dating a loser,

996
00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:59,720
Speaker 4: and honestly like this guy sug talks.

997
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:04,719
Speaker 7: Oh my god, he actually played the game on the

998
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:07,239
Speaker 7: date that was printed on the photo strip too.

999
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:07,959
Speaker 3: Oh my god.

1000
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:12,680
Speaker 7: I found the game and went into it. The man

1001
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:15,720
Speaker 7: was playing in the early morning hours. When I asked

1002
00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:18,200
Speaker 7: about the YouTube videos. He swore that they were random

1003
00:49:18,239 --> 00:49:20,560
Speaker 7: ones that popped up, and that I knew he always

1004
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:23,440
Speaker 7: had YouTube running on his other monitor, but I never

1005
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:27,839
Speaker 7: believed him. Algorithms don't jump from NBA highlights to how

1006
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:30,640
Speaker 7: to kiss a girl tutorials. Not to mention, he used

1007
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:34,080
Speaker 7: a different YouTube account on his PC. He studied it

1008
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:37,239
Speaker 7: in Tafe two, not sure what kind of fly he

1009
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:39,680
Speaker 7: was trying to make. A few hours after I booted

1010
00:49:39,719 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 7: him out, he threatened legal action to claim de facto

1011
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:46,759
Speaker 7: rights after all the destruction he caused. He ended it

1012
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:49,719
Speaker 7: with sorry for the crap person that I am. Now

1013
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:52,600
Speaker 7: I'm left to clean up the mess he made emotionally,

1014
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 7: legally financially, Whilst he gets to move on, My nervous

1015
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:59,919
Speaker 7: system is still wrecked. I live in flight or fight,

1016
00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:03,279
Speaker 7: But I also feel lighter because at the end of

1017
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:06,479
Speaker 7: the day I dropped dead weight. I'm surrounded by love

1018
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:09,200
Speaker 7: and will forever be grateful to anyone who has supported

1019
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 7: me my life. My life honestly feels like it turned

1020
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:15,640
Speaker 7: into a real life K drama. I love watching them,

1021
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:20,080
Speaker 7: but a living one, nah man, I'm good. Betrayal plot twists,

1022
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:23,879
Speaker 7: side characters, the whole circus, the only problem my so

1023
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 7: called leading man skipped the redemption arc and continued to

1024
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:31,480
Speaker 7: play the diabolical villain. Plus there was no good looking

1025
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:36,399
Speaker 7: second lead male, so that was sad. Yeah, but screw him,

1026
00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:39,400
Speaker 7: Screw his crocodile's ears, Screw the way he tried to

1027
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:42,600
Speaker 7: convince me that I wasn't enough. I always was enough.

1028
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:46,080
Speaker 7: He just wasn't man enough. He wasn't my endgame. He

1029
00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:48,440
Speaker 7: was just a badly written side quest that taught me

1030
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 7: my own worth. I hope the last time I ever

1031
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:54,000
Speaker 7: have to cross paths with him was on seventeenth of August,

1032
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:57,279
Speaker 7: which he came to pick up the last of his belongings.

1033
00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:00,520
Speaker 7: Couldn't resist a little send off. I placed this spicy

1034
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:05,439
Speaker 7: toy packaging that he bought to use with Tiffany and

1035
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:08,319
Speaker 7: tried to hide it as a private purchase, but the

1036
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 7: genius left the email confirmation in this in box. I

1037
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:13,719
Speaker 7: left it right on top of his stuff, along with

1038
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:16,280
Speaker 7: his ed medication for his uncles to see.

1039
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:20,759
Speaker 4: Dang man, you really you're like Adam Good. It's not

1040
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:22,560
Speaker 4: that hard to get a guy that gives it all

1041
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:24,799
Speaker 4: to you. It's like it's like like in like one

1042
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:28,560
Speaker 4: of those old movies where you have like stereotypes of

1043
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 4: like all the high school like jocks and the nerds

1044
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:30,960
Speaker 4: and stuff.

1045
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:33,719
Speaker 3: If the nerd like went up to the jock and was.

1046
00:51:33,719 --> 00:51:39,360
Speaker 4: Like, I'm head of the math club and also I

1047
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:41,080
Speaker 4: have allergies, and.

1048
00:51:41,239 --> 00:51:42,880
Speaker 3: Just like gave them like the.

1049
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:47,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, and they were like, well, you're gonna get punched

1050
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:49,520
Speaker 4: now to locker like you get.

1051
00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:52,400
Speaker 7: He gave you everything, everything that you needed, and you

1052
00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:53,440
Speaker 7: stood up for yourself.

1053
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:54,719
Speaker 3: Good for you.

1054
00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:56,680
Speaker 7: I'm sorry it took so long for you to figure

1055
00:51:56,680 --> 00:52:00,200
Speaker 7: out Yeah is rough, but it's tough to dude.

1056
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:00,600
Speaker 3: It's tough.

1057
00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:02,719
Speaker 7: Got there eventually you did, And there is a little

1058
00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:06,280
Speaker 7: bit more to this story. He clocked it and shoved

1059
00:52:06,320 --> 00:52:09,880
Speaker 7: them straight into the bin. When he got distracted, I

1060
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:13,480
Speaker 7: went downstairs, fished the packaging right back out of the

1061
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:15,680
Speaker 7: bin and put it right in front of his uncles.

1062
00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:18,680
Speaker 7: This time he spotted it, ripped it up, and stuffed

1063
00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:22,879
Speaker 7: it deeper in the trash. To anyone else surviving infidelity,

1064
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:25,040
Speaker 7: I hope you heal and find the peace and love

1065
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:28,279
Speaker 7: that you truly deserve. Please never doubt you're worth or

1066
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:31,080
Speaker 7: silence your intuition. I gave my ex far too many

1067
00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:35,160
Speaker 7: chances to come clean and almost went insane. Most importantly,

1068
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:38,120
Speaker 7: remind yourself that there's still light out there. Look for

1069
00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:42,080
Speaker 7: the stars and not the bars wherever you can. And

1070
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:43,759
Speaker 7: that is the end of that story. What a good

1071
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:44,279
Speaker 7: note to leave.

1072
00:52:45,280 --> 00:52:47,640
Speaker 3: Ope, you're gonna do all right, you're gonna do okay.

1073
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:48,680
Speaker 7: Yeah, good job.

1074
00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:48,919
Speaker 3: Op.

1075
00:52:49,520 --> 00:52:52,600
Speaker 7: I'm glad you're out of there. And you're still very young.

1076
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:54,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, you got time.

1077
00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:58,640
Speaker 7: You're good dude, So good luck to you. But that's

1078
00:52:58,719 --> 00:52:59,720
Speaker 7: the end of that story.

1079
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:03,120
Speaker 2: John here og host. We're gonna get back to these stories,

1080
00:53:03,120 --> 00:53:05,800
Speaker 2: but a quick three minute break from hops from our sponsors.

1081
00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:09,640
Speaker 8: My wife hid the truth for seventeen years and now

1082
00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:11,840
Speaker 8: I'm questioning our entire marriage.

1083
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:13,200
Speaker 6: You can't handle the truth.

1084
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:16,160
Speaker 8: I thirty nine male, and my wife, forty two female,

1085
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:20,320
Speaker 8: have been married for seventeen years. We were married exactly

1086
00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 8: two years to the day that we met. We hit

1087
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:26,759
Speaker 8: it off quickly. Our meeting story is a good one.

1088
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:29,200
Speaker 8: She yelled at me. This was the first time I

1089
00:53:29,239 --> 00:53:31,279
Speaker 8: had ever asked a girl out. On the day I

1090
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:33,960
Speaker 8: met her, we had a great first date. And by

1091
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:36,640
Speaker 8: the way, this comes from user Darryl Valen And if

1092
00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:38,440
Speaker 8: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

1093
00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:41,480
Speaker 8: r slash Okay, story time subburn it. I'm Dakota and

1094
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:44,400
Speaker 8: I'm Keon with allergies, and we're here to give you

1095
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:47,440
Speaker 8: good advice. Goofully, But we don't have all the answers.

1096
00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:48,880
Speaker 8: We only know what we would do, So if you

1097
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:51,240
Speaker 8: would do something different, let us know in the comments.

1098
00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:55,359
Speaker 8: As Op says, she even invited me back to her

1099
00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:59,359
Speaker 8: apartment and we watched a movie. There was no intimacy

1100
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 8: beyond me kissing her good night. I was actually a virgin.

1101
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:07,080
Speaker 8: I spent the next six weeks seeing her three to

1102
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:09,440
Speaker 8: five days a week, whether it was for a quick lunch,

1103
00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:13,760
Speaker 8: a simple dinner, or hanging out watching TV, or actual dates.

1104
00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:16,680
Speaker 8: When I couldn't see her, I called her and it

1105
00:54:16,719 --> 00:54:19,520
Speaker 8: seemed perfect. At the time, I had just finished my

1106
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:23,279
Speaker 8: freshman year of college and she had already graduated and

1107
00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:24,520
Speaker 8: was working full time.

1108
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:26,800
Speaker 6: Whoh all right, interesting?

1109
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:29,960
Speaker 8: Okay, still no full intimacy at this point, but we

1110
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:32,799
Speaker 8: were still very close, she offered, but.

1111
00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:33,800
Speaker 1: I just wasn't ready.

1112
00:54:34,239 --> 00:54:36,520
Speaker 8: I had a summer job as a camp counselor and

1113
00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:39,560
Speaker 8: had to leave for the next seven weeks. I called

1114
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:41,879
Speaker 8: her almost every night and talked about us being able

1115
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:44,520
Speaker 8: to get back together. I was giving her the full

1116
00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:47,840
Speaker 8: boyfriend treatment and she was giving me the full girlfriend treatment.

1117
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:50,960
Speaker 8: When I got back at the end of the summer,

1118
00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:53,600
Speaker 8: we jumped right back into our old habits of seeing

1119
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:57,080
Speaker 8: each other constantly. In October, I had to leave school

1120
00:54:57,080 --> 00:55:01,480
Speaker 8: over money problems and went back home. December, I proposed

1121
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:05,600
Speaker 8: and she accepted. We continued our long distance relationship until

1122
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:08,560
Speaker 8: June of the next year, when she moved to me.

1123
00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:12,280
Speaker 8: We saw each other every other weekend and talked nightly.

1124
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:14,279
Speaker 8: When she moved down.

1125
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:15,600
Speaker 1: We all but moved in together.

1126
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:17,200
Speaker 3: Life was good.

1127
00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:19,719
Speaker 8: We married two years to the day that we met.

1128
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:22,960
Speaker 8: We have two kids, we're fourteen and eleven, and our

1129
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:25,480
Speaker 8: marriage has had its ups and downs, but we've always

1130
00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:29,319
Speaker 8: stuck together. She is my one and only. She has

1131
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:31,800
Speaker 8: had a lot of health problems, both mental and physical,

1132
00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:34,279
Speaker 8: and they have really affected her, and I've stood by

1133
00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:37,680
Speaker 8: her even when these problems have negatively impacted our marriage.

1134
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:39,000
Speaker 6: In sickness and in health.

1135
00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:41,759
Speaker 1: Ooh, yeah, that's what you signed up for, my guy.

1136
00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:44,880
Speaker 8: When I've told friends about her health issues, they often

1137
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:47,680
Speaker 8: seem surprised it affects her so much, as they are

1138
00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:50,720
Speaker 8: not crazy problems. I've had a lot of people reply

1139
00:55:50,840 --> 00:55:52,640
Speaker 8: she needs to buckle down and.

1140
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:54,080
Speaker 6: Push through oki down.

1141
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,719
Speaker 1: I've always defended her in these situations.

1142
00:55:56,960 --> 00:56:00,520
Speaker 8: The last five years have been really rough. Say, out

1143
00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:04,000
Speaker 8: of seventeen years of marriage, we've had ten years where

1144
00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:08,239
Speaker 8: the medical issues have negatively impacted her. Around two years ago,

1145
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:11,680
Speaker 8: I started feeling neglected. She'd given up on life in

1146
00:56:11,719 --> 00:56:14,200
Speaker 8: a lot of ways, and I was always the last

1147
00:56:14,239 --> 00:56:16,880
Speaker 8: priority to her, or at least that's the way I

1148
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:20,480
Speaker 8: perceived it. This year, it really began to impact me.

1149
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:24,240
Speaker 8: I thought she didn't want me anymore. I kept quiet

1150
00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:28,120
Speaker 8: mistake because I attributed it to her health issues. And

1151
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:30,759
Speaker 8: I'm not that guy who's going to abandon her just

1152
00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:33,239
Speaker 8: because I'm not getting what I need. Hey, buddy, Like,

1153
00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:36,960
Speaker 8: bringing issues to light does not equate to abandonment.

1154
00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:38,759
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, you know.

1155
00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:41,520
Speaker 8: It's valid to be like, hey, I feel like you

1156
00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:44,400
Speaker 8: could come to her empathetically and say, you know, I

1157
00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:47,880
Speaker 8: want to make everything perfectly clear at first. First thing,

1158
00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 8: I want to make perfectly clear I am not blaming

1159
00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:54,040
Speaker 8: you because of your health issues. I'm simply just stating

1160
00:56:54,080 --> 00:57:00,680
Speaker 8: how I feel. Boom Op says. It festered up and

1161
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:03,400
Speaker 8: I began to question a lot of things. Did I

1162
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:06,280
Speaker 8: make a mistake marrying the first girl out of high school,

1163
00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:09,040
Speaker 8: the first girl that I slept with. I felt like

1164
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:11,760
Speaker 8: my marriage was changing forever and that I had missed

1165
00:57:11,800 --> 00:57:15,640
Speaker 8: out getting married so young. I finally broke down and

1166
00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:19,120
Speaker 8: told her how I felt. She was very understanding and

1167
00:57:19,160 --> 00:57:21,720
Speaker 8: assured me she still wanted me and was attracted to me.

1168
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:25,080
Speaker 8: I started putting more effort into myself, trying to be

1169
00:57:25,120 --> 00:57:27,800
Speaker 8: more attractive to her. We had some good days over

1170
00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:30,880
Speaker 8: those next couple of weeks. Here is whether the problem

1171
00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:32,200
Speaker 8: comes in from.

1172
00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:32,560
Speaker 1: The get go.

1173
00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:35,480
Speaker 8: She lied about her past with men. She told me

1174
00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:37,600
Speaker 8: she had only been with one guy, and I was

1175
00:57:37,640 --> 00:57:41,120
Speaker 8: stupid and believed her multiple guys were reaching out to

1176
00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:44,320
Speaker 8: her even after we were engaged. She got STD tests

1177
00:57:44,400 --> 00:57:47,040
Speaker 8: during our early relationship, even though she and I weren't

1178
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:50,360
Speaker 8: having zispasa sleep. As the years went on, I learned

1179
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:53,320
Speaker 8: more about her past and she let certain things slip.

1180
00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:56,120
Speaker 8: I questioned her on whether she was sleeping with guys

1181
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:58,400
Speaker 8: when we first started dating when I was at camp,

1182
00:57:58,400 --> 00:57:59,200
Speaker 8: but she told me no.

1183
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:01,320
Speaker 1: I later learned her true.

1184
00:58:01,480 --> 00:58:03,760
Speaker 8: At least I must take her word for it body

1185
00:58:03,840 --> 00:58:06,720
Speaker 8: count which it didn't bother me. Other than that she

1186
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:10,440
Speaker 8: had lied to me because that was before me. However,

1187
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:13,919
Speaker 8: little things kept coming out. The guy she kept going

1188
00:58:13,960 --> 00:58:16,600
Speaker 8: back to before me was still friends on Facebook with

1189
00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:19,520
Speaker 8: her and reached out even after we'd been married over

1190
00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:22,120
Speaker 8: ten years. I told her to unfriend him, and she

1191
00:58:22,280 --> 00:58:25,880
Speaker 8: did it, but hesitantly. The last thing that came out

1192
00:58:25,960 --> 00:58:29,280
Speaker 8: before D Day was the guy she said was always

1193
00:58:29,280 --> 00:58:31,760
Speaker 8: wanting to date her even after we got together, was

1194
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:34,880
Speaker 8: someone she had actually slept with. She'd always said she

1195
00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:36,920
Speaker 8: couldn't stand him and turn him down. But because I

1196
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:39,600
Speaker 8: was feeling so down and questioning the past, all the

1197
00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:42,440
Speaker 8: little hints I'd missed over nineteen years started coming to

1198
00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:46,000
Speaker 8: my mind, and I couldn't stop myself from asking. Fast

1199
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:48,520
Speaker 8: forward to D Day, A couple of weeks after I

1200
00:58:48,560 --> 00:58:51,439
Speaker 8: told her I was feeling neglected. My suspicion was really

1201
00:58:51,480 --> 00:58:53,760
Speaker 8: strong that she was sleeping around on me while I

1202
00:58:53,840 --> 00:58:55,640
Speaker 8: was at the camp, but I didn't want to believe it.

1203
00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:58,880
Speaker 8: I had asked her years earlier and she told me no,

1204
00:58:59,480 --> 00:59:01,440
Speaker 8: she'd had a couple of drinks. I was in my

1205
00:59:01,520 --> 00:59:04,080
Speaker 8: head and I asked her. She confirmed she had been

1206
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:07,000
Speaker 8: sleeping with other guys plural while I was at camp

1207
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,320
Speaker 8: and maybe even before while I was still in town.

1208
00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:12,960
Speaker 8: I was absolutely devastated. She seemed surprised.

1209
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:13,920
Speaker 1: I was mad.

1210
00:59:14,160 --> 00:59:16,560
Speaker 8: She then hit me with we weren't together during that time,

1211
00:59:16,680 --> 00:59:19,000
Speaker 8: so she didn't think it was cheating. She also hit

1212
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:21,000
Speaker 8: me with she didn't know how I felt about us,

1213
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:23,600
Speaker 8: which was why she didn't think we were together. I

1214
00:59:23,720 --> 00:59:26,400
Speaker 8: was shocked because I thought it was clear. I assured

1215
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:28,760
Speaker 8: her I still loved her, and we had a long talk.

1216
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:32,280
Speaker 6: All right, I mean it's the hey, you want a

1217
00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:33,360
Speaker 6: time machine again? Brother?

1218
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:36,040
Speaker 8: I mean, if it's not if you look when I

1219
00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:38,360
Speaker 8: was like eighteen, I did this with like a girlfriend

1220
00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:42,000
Speaker 8: where I just assumed that we both, you know, thought

1221
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:44,280
Speaker 8: we were like crazy for each other and we were dating,

1222
00:59:44,760 --> 00:59:48,800
Speaker 8: and she assumed the exact opposite because I didn't say anything,

1223
00:59:49,200 --> 00:59:49,840
Speaker 8: and we ended up.

1224
00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:51,000
Speaker 1: Getting together for a long time.

1225
00:59:51,040 --> 00:59:53,760
Speaker 8: But like, yeah, it's if you guys were in a

1226
00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:55,760
Speaker 8: place where it wasn't clear that you guys were together

1227
00:59:55,840 --> 00:59:59,960
Speaker 8: on both sides, and being like, yep, we're dating, we're together.

1228
01:00:00,720 --> 01:00:03,720
Speaker 8: You can't really fault her for doing that. So she

1229
01:00:03,880 --> 01:00:06,160
Speaker 8: told me that it stopped over the summer before I

1230
01:00:06,200 --> 01:00:09,560
Speaker 8: got back, after she realized from one of our phone

1231
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:12,880
Speaker 8: conversations how I felt. The next day, she called me

1232
01:00:12,960 --> 01:00:15,520
Speaker 8: at work because she knew I was upset, and asked

1233
01:00:15,560 --> 01:00:18,840
Speaker 8: if I wanted to separate. Well, I told her no,

1234
01:00:19,040 --> 01:00:20,600
Speaker 8: and I thought I could live with this because it

1235
01:00:20,680 --> 01:00:23,480
Speaker 8: was so long ago. The last two months have been

1236
01:00:23,680 --> 01:00:26,800
Speaker 8: a struggle. All of this has made me distant and cold.

1237
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:29,640
Speaker 8: I can't stop thinking about it. She told me she

1238
01:00:29,680 --> 01:00:31,600
Speaker 8: wished she'd never told me, and that if it wasn't

1239
01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:33,600
Speaker 8: for the fact she'd had some drinks, she would have

1240
01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:34,200
Speaker 8: lied to me.

1241
01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:35,959
Speaker 1: Again, Well, that's not good.

1242
01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:38,440
Speaker 6: That's well, both not good.

1243
01:00:38,640 --> 01:00:41,200
Speaker 1: Couples counseling, please, thank you, and.

1244
01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:44,280
Speaker 6: Therapy for yourself, my guy, where you're like, no, I

1245
01:00:44,280 --> 01:00:45,960
Speaker 6: don't want to separate, But all I can think about

1246
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:49,480
Speaker 6: is that you lie to me seventeen years ago when

1247
01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:53,760
Speaker 6: we weren't together. If you guys were officially together and

1248
01:00:54,200 --> 01:00:59,840
Speaker 6: you know, like title relationship, boyfriend, girlfriend, it's a different story. Yeah,

1249
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:02,760
Speaker 6: But the fact that you guys were not labeled and like, yes,

1250
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:06,600
Speaker 6: you're still talking, but that you guys were never adamant

1251
01:01:06,640 --> 01:01:08,720
Speaker 6: on like what are we kind of thing? Or like

1252
01:01:08,760 --> 01:01:12,160
Speaker 6: are we mutually exclusive? Come on, come on now.

1253
01:01:12,560 --> 01:01:15,680
Speaker 8: She asked me, multiple times if I wanted to separate

1254
01:01:15,720 --> 01:01:19,000
Speaker 8: and then started crying, telling me she can't live without me.

1255
01:01:19,560 --> 01:01:21,720
Speaker 8: She's told me she's afraid to ever tell me anything

1256
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:24,440
Speaker 8: again because of how this has affected me. And here's

1257
01:01:24,480 --> 01:01:28,040
Speaker 8: the most messed up part. She's mad I'm not over it.

1258
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:30,640
Speaker 8: She has on a few occasions fussed at me for

1259
01:01:30,720 --> 01:01:33,160
Speaker 8: how I've made her feel that I've broken her and

1260
01:01:33,240 --> 01:01:36,320
Speaker 8: don't seem like her husband anymore. She acknowledged I'm hurting,

1261
01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:38,800
Speaker 8: but expects me to push on. She makes it about

1262
01:01:38,840 --> 01:01:41,040
Speaker 8: what I'm doing to her, not what she's done to me.

1263
01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:42,320
Speaker 8: When she gets upset, what did.

1264
01:01:42,280 --> 01:01:43,000
Speaker 3: She do to you?

1265
01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:47,080
Speaker 6: Brother, brother, Opie? What are we doing?

1266
01:01:47,640 --> 01:01:49,920
Speaker 8: That's the thing. If she was like, if she had

1267
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:53,400
Speaker 8: cheated on you, that's one thing. Okay, if you guys

1268
01:01:53,400 --> 01:01:56,280
Speaker 8: had kids together and she cheated on you, that's one thing.

1269
01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:58,520
Speaker 8: Guys didn't have kids together and she'd cheatd on you

1270
01:01:58,520 --> 01:01:59,920
Speaker 8: and y'all wre together, that's one.

1271
01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:02,440
Speaker 6: Thing again, But y'all were not clearly together.

1272
01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:05,600
Speaker 8: Clearly, you guys have had very You guys have had

1273
01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:08,800
Speaker 8: struggles with communication, probably your entire relationship.

1274
01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:09,880
Speaker 1: Opie says.

1275
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:12,360
Speaker 8: I try to put a brave face on focus on

1276
01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:14,480
Speaker 8: the good times and try to make good times now.

1277
01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 8: But man, is it hard. I feel hurt, betrayed and

1278
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:21,360
Speaker 8: angry constantly, especially when I'm alone. Whether she thinks it

1279
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:24,200
Speaker 8: or not, I feel like she cheated or that she

1280
01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:26,360
Speaker 8: led me on because she liked the attention.

1281
01:02:26,480 --> 01:02:28,160
Speaker 1: But was it ready for a relationship?

1282
01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:30,160
Speaker 6: Do you see where you are right now?

1283
01:02:30,400 --> 01:02:33,320
Speaker 8: It makes any sense you like, whether she did it

1284
01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:35,720
Speaker 8: or not. I feel like it's cheating, but it wasn't.

1285
01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:39,720
Speaker 6: It wasn't cheating. Yes, we're get together. It sucks, but

1286
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:43,280
Speaker 6: how do you It's like it you spilled. The milk

1287
01:02:43,320 --> 01:02:45,520
Speaker 6: has been spilled. How are you to clean it up?

1288
01:02:45,560 --> 01:02:47,480
Speaker 6: And it seems like you are not cleaning this up,

1289
01:02:47,560 --> 01:02:49,160
Speaker 6: You're spreading the milk more.

1290
01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:51,600
Speaker 8: I feel lied to and that I ended up in

1291
01:02:51,680 --> 01:02:54,320
Speaker 8: a marriage that was founded on a lie, a lie

1292
01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:57,240
Speaker 8: she would have kept until the end. I feel like

1293
01:02:57,280 --> 01:02:59,560
Speaker 8: I should never have married her. I don't even know

1294
01:02:59,560 --> 01:03:01,880
Speaker 8: what this is coming from, but it's coming from your friends,

1295
01:03:01,880 --> 01:03:03,720
Speaker 8: because it started with your friends being like, oh, it

1296
01:03:03,720 --> 01:03:05,840
Speaker 8: feels like she should just be able to not have

1297
01:03:05,840 --> 01:03:08,920
Speaker 8: those medical issues affect her, and then it's all snowballed

1298
01:03:08,920 --> 01:03:09,320
Speaker 8: from there.

1299
01:03:09,560 --> 01:03:12,560
Speaker 6: I yeah, it's very I don't know. This is very weird, Opie,

1300
01:03:13,160 --> 01:03:15,080
Speaker 6: Oh man, you need you need some help.

1301
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:18,000
Speaker 8: She was hurt that I said if I knew back then,

1302
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:20,000
Speaker 8: i'd have broken up with her. I mean, if i'd

1303
01:03:20,040 --> 01:03:22,600
Speaker 8: known ten years ago, i'd have left. Ugh, Jude, then

1304
01:03:22,640 --> 01:03:25,200
Speaker 8: you should just leave. I also don't know what else

1305
01:03:25,240 --> 01:03:27,480
Speaker 8: she may be hiding because she thinks i'd leave. The

1306
01:03:27,560 --> 01:03:29,880
Speaker 8: kids are the biggest reason I haven't left. I also

1307
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:32,080
Speaker 8: don't want to throw away seventeen years of marriage because

1308
01:03:32,120 --> 01:03:33,360
Speaker 8: I still love and care about her.

1309
01:03:33,400 --> 01:03:34,720
Speaker 1: But it is a struggle.

1310
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:38,120
Speaker 8: I mean therapy, but the therapist isn't helping much. I

1311
01:03:38,200 --> 01:03:40,160
Speaker 8: try and reframe things like he tells me too, but

1312
01:03:40,200 --> 01:03:43,760
Speaker 8: I end up angry again. I haven't expressed this to her.

1313
01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:45,600
Speaker 6: It just seems like every time you see your wife

1314
01:03:45,680 --> 01:03:49,480
Speaker 6: now is just like liar, liar, liar, you like me,

1315
01:03:49,600 --> 01:03:53,200
Speaker 6: you suck you cheated on me seventeen years ago when

1316
01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:54,520
Speaker 6: we were together. I hate you.

1317
01:03:55,040 --> 01:03:57,360
Speaker 8: Yeah, And really it's instead of looking at your wife,

1318
01:03:57,360 --> 01:03:58,920
Speaker 8: you really need to look within and see where this

1319
01:03:58,960 --> 01:04:01,320
Speaker 8: is coming from. Because it's very clear that, at least

1320
01:04:01,560 --> 01:04:04,760
Speaker 8: to me, it's like this is coming from a kind

1321
01:04:04,760 --> 01:04:08,040
Speaker 8: of an angle of jealousy. Where it's like because your

1322
01:04:08,040 --> 01:04:09,720
Speaker 8: wife has like.

1323
01:04:09,640 --> 01:04:11,480
Speaker 6: You didn't like, oh, you assumed that you you were

1324
01:04:11,480 --> 01:04:13,640
Speaker 6: in a relationship, and like, oh I could have talked

1325
01:04:13,640 --> 01:04:15,560
Speaker 6: to other girls, or I could have done this, or right,

1326
01:04:15,640 --> 01:04:18,280
Speaker 6: I'm regretting that I married the first girl I fell

1327
01:04:18,280 --> 01:04:19,919
Speaker 6: in love with dude, and.

1328
01:04:19,840 --> 01:04:23,040
Speaker 1: It's you know, like, well I didn't get to do that. Yeah,

1329
01:04:23,040 --> 01:04:23,880
Speaker 1: but you could have.

1330
01:04:24,040 --> 01:04:26,840
Speaker 3: But look what your choice built, Look what you have.

1331
01:04:27,480 --> 01:04:28,680
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1332
01:04:28,720 --> 01:04:30,720
Speaker 8: I guess it's just a fomo and jealousy and like,

1333
01:04:30,760 --> 01:04:34,040
Speaker 8: stop it, let's finish this story. She accused me of

1334
01:04:34,080 --> 01:04:36,440
Speaker 8: being afraid to move on, But what I'm afraid of

1335
01:04:36,560 --> 01:04:39,360
Speaker 8: is losing my temper, which I've never even done that

1336
01:04:39,560 --> 01:04:42,480
Speaker 8: with her ever, and saying hurtful things because I'm so

1337
01:04:42,640 --> 01:04:45,000
Speaker 8: angry at her. I'm angry at her for what she

1338
01:04:45,080 --> 01:04:47,480
Speaker 8: did and how she turns it around on me. I

1339
01:04:47,480 --> 01:04:49,960
Speaker 8: think about leaving, but then fold up when she confronts

1340
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:53,160
Speaker 8: my distance, usually talking about how it hurts.

1341
01:04:52,880 --> 01:04:54,400
Speaker 1: Her and she doesn't know what she'd do if I

1342
01:04:54,440 --> 01:04:54,920
Speaker 1: was gone.

1343
01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:57,400
Speaker 8: I don't want to ruin my family, especially the kids,

1344
01:04:57,400 --> 01:04:59,320
Speaker 8: but I don't know how long it will take for

1345
01:04:59,400 --> 01:05:01,200
Speaker 8: me to learn to live with this and if she'll

1346
01:05:01,240 --> 01:05:02,360
Speaker 8: give me that time.

1347
01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:04,560
Speaker 6: So what are you working to do to better that?

1348
01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:08,919
Speaker 8: It's the therapy, couple's therapy for God's say, you guys

1349
01:05:08,960 --> 01:05:12,160
Speaker 8: are in like a communication stalemate. Yeah, Like you're like,

1350
01:05:12,320 --> 01:05:14,520
Speaker 8: I can't communicate because I'll just get mad and leave her.

1351
01:05:14,520 --> 01:05:16,760
Speaker 8: And she's like, I can't communicate because I'm afraid you'll

1352
01:05:16,760 --> 01:05:17,600
Speaker 8: get mad and leave me.

1353
01:05:18,120 --> 01:05:25,919
Speaker 1: So y'all need emergency emergency communication like assistance therapy. Every

1354
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:26,840
Speaker 1: day is a struggle.

1355
01:05:27,240 --> 01:05:29,040
Speaker 8: I guess I needed to get this out because I

1356
01:05:29,040 --> 01:05:30,439
Speaker 8: have nowhere else to get it out.

1357
01:05:30,640 --> 01:05:33,320
Speaker 6: Oh man, I wish the others. I wish there were comments.

1358
01:05:33,360 --> 01:05:36,480
Speaker 8: And that is the end of that story. Go to

1359
01:05:37,040 --> 01:05:41,320
Speaker 8: therapy with your wife, Go to it out, tell like

1360
01:05:41,920 --> 01:05:44,520
Speaker 8: nowhere else to put it. Yeah, talk to your wife.

1361
01:05:44,480 --> 01:05:46,560
Speaker 6: Keep walking forward and what's going to be the best

1362
01:05:46,560 --> 01:05:49,440
Speaker 6: for you and especially the one that you'll You keep saying,

1363
01:05:49,640 --> 01:05:52,480
Speaker 6: I love my wife, I love my life. What are

1364
01:05:52,520 --> 01:05:53,120
Speaker 6: you doing to fix it?

1365
01:05:53,400 --> 01:05:53,560
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1366
01:05:53,560 --> 01:05:55,680
Speaker 6: What are you doing to make it better rather than

1367
01:05:55,760 --> 01:05:58,080
Speaker 6: make things worse? And I'm not saying and I'm not

1368
01:05:58,080 --> 01:06:00,880
Speaker 6: telling op to like, hey, suppress your feelings and just

1369
01:06:00,880 --> 01:06:02,920
Speaker 6: be like move it on, move on. This is definitely

1370
01:06:02,960 --> 01:06:05,400
Speaker 6: something that's bothering you. Talk about it and see what

1371
01:06:05,640 --> 01:06:08,440
Speaker 6: you can do to make things better, and work on it.