1 00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:04,000 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and a few need 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:08,200 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more. Please 3 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:11,320 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to cefarvfm dot com and click 4 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:15,440 Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter. We could be you know, reading your 5 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 1: letter live on the air. It's like we're gonna read 6 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:21,360 Speaker 1: this one, yeah for you, Jay, This just like this 7 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,920 Speaker 1: one Okay, could be yours. You never know. Buggle up, 8 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,680 Speaker 1: hold on tight. We got it for ye Here it 9 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,600 Speaker 1: is the Strawberry Letter subject. I didn't know there was 10 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 1: side piece etiquette. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a thirty four 11 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:37,120 Speaker 1: year old woman, and in my past I messed up 12 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 1: with a man that was married, and I was living 13 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,280 Speaker 1: my best single life. I was getting what I needed 14 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,479 Speaker 1: as far as money in great sex when my married 15 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:48,560 Speaker 1: man and a few other men I had on the side. Hey, 16 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 1: I was young and enjoying myself. I kept it classy 17 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:55,200 Speaker 1: and I made sure my reputation state intact. I was 18 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 1: in the clubs and short dresses and heels every weekend. 19 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 1: Me and my girls took niceps, and I was in 20 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 1: a music video for a wrapper that was a one 21 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:07,200 Speaker 1: hit wonder just two years ago. I was still with 22 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 1: my married man. When I met my husband, that's when 23 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:15,319 Speaker 1: I ended the affair. I met my husband at a 24 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:18,399 Speaker 1: church festival that my mother invited me to. We fell 25 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,320 Speaker 1: in love rather quickly, and he proposed after dating for 26 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,759 Speaker 1: less than a year. He is a straight laced, handsome 27 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 1: and well dressed man. We both have great jobs in finance, 28 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,319 Speaker 1: so we're a little power couple. I cleaned up my 29 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:33,640 Speaker 1: act for him, and I dressed more conservatively and I 30 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:37,200 Speaker 1: very and I rarely wear weaves and wigs anymore. I 31 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:41,480 Speaker 1: only drink wine. I stopped smoking cigars, and I don't 32 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:45,680 Speaker 1: use profanity. I only drink wine. Like I said, it 33 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 1: was easy for me to change my ways because I 34 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 1: did all of my sinning when I was younger. He 35 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:55,760 Speaker 1: has no idea about my past, and I told I 36 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: told him my body count was only four men. So 37 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 1: here's my problem. My ex married man slash side piece 38 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: is divorced now and he's been calling me a lot, 39 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 1: begging for sex. I'm scared to block him because I 40 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaker 1: think he might do something stupid. He said, I need 41 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 1: to learn side piece etiquette, and according to that, I 42 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 1: owe him since he did it for me when he 43 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 1: was married. What am I supposed to do? Do I 44 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:27,079 Speaker 1: owe him more sex? Please help now, and you don't 45 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 1: have to do anything. You're married now, Please go on 46 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:32,959 Speaker 1: and live your life with you with your husband. And 47 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:37,120 Speaker 1: since your raggedy X brought up etiquette, please tell him 48 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 1: he needs to learn to leave you the blank alone etiquette. Okay, 49 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,600 Speaker 1: stop calling you and you could block him. You could 50 00:02:43,639 --> 00:02:47,840 Speaker 1: definitely block him forget about him. You know, as if 51 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,080 Speaker 1: the world was supposed to stop, and you know you 52 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 1: were supposed to wait on the side until he got 53 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:56,079 Speaker 1: a divorce or whatever. Now life goes on. You definitely 54 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 1: weren't sitting around waiting for him to call. You were 55 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 1: living your life, your growne lifestyle now with your new husband, 56 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:05,760 Speaker 1: who is a wonderful man who proposed to you during 57 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:08,320 Speaker 1: that time you said yes, period the end. You guys 58 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:11,640 Speaker 1: are married. Don't let your past, you know, because of 59 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:13,520 Speaker 1: your past, Don't let it make you act out of 60 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,639 Speaker 1: fear you're afraid your ex might do something stupid. Let 61 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:19,959 Speaker 1: him what can he do? I mean, really, what is 62 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,840 Speaker 1: he gonna do? Tell your husband you guys used to 63 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 1: kick it and so what I mean he knows you've 64 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:27,160 Speaker 1: been in relationships before him, talking about your husband. Now, 65 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,040 Speaker 1: I don't think your husband is gonna put up with 66 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 1: it anyway. I mean you were young and single, like 67 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 1: you said, and freeback then, you could do whatever you 68 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 1: wanted to do. I mean, yeah, it was with the merriedman. 69 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 1: Now is that right? You know the answer to that. 70 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 1: Nobody's judging you, and that part of your life is over. 71 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 1: So don't allow him to draw you back in because 72 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 1: you're scared he might do something stupid. Just block him, 73 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:52,280 Speaker 1: stop answering his calls, tell him it's over all right, 74 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:58,800 Speaker 1: and it is Steve Well, interesting man. Huh the subject alone, 75 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:02,000 Speaker 1: I didn't know that was sad piece etiquette. I have 76 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,720 Speaker 1: a surprise for you at the end of this letter. So, 77 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:10,200 Speaker 1: young lady, please pay attention very closely. You're thirty four. 78 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 1: You messed around with a man that was married, and 79 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,279 Speaker 1: then you said something interesting. I was living my best 80 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:21,680 Speaker 1: single life. I was getting what I needed as far 81 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 1: as money and great sex from my married man and 82 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 1: a few other men I had on the side. Hey, 83 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 1: I was young and enjoying myself. Now, okay, okay, that's 84 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 1: the setup. Now here's where we start to get into 85 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:39,960 Speaker 1: what the letters about. I kept it classy. I made 86 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:43,479 Speaker 1: sure my reputation stayed intact. I was in the clubs 87 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 1: and short dresses and heels every weekend. Me and my 88 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,599 Speaker 1: girls took nice trips, and I was in a music 89 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:50,719 Speaker 1: video with a rapper that was a one hit wonder 90 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 1: just two years ago. I was still with my married 91 00:04:55,720 --> 00:05:00,159 Speaker 1: man when I met my husband. That's when I at 92 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: the affair. Now, let me go over something with you. 93 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,560 Speaker 1: When you say you kept in class, he had made 94 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,560 Speaker 1: sure your reputation stayed intact. Let me tell you this. 95 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:13,839 Speaker 1: Here's the problem with sin. And I'm not gonna tell 96 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,839 Speaker 1: you now, but I'm gonna tell you in a little while. 97 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,800 Speaker 1: But you don't ever get to keep it as clean 98 00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 1: as you think ever. I met my husband at a 99 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:28,000 Speaker 1: church festival. Your mother invited me too. We fell in 100 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:31,080 Speaker 1: love quickly. He proposed he's handsome, well dressed. We got 101 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,120 Speaker 1: great jobs and financed with a little power couple. I 102 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:37,159 Speaker 1: cleaned up my act for him, and I dressed more conservatively, 103 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 1: and I rarely wear weaves and wigs anymore. I only 104 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 1: drank wine, I stopped smoking cigars, and I don't use profanity. 105 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:47,840 Speaker 1: It was easy for me to change my ways because 106 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:50,840 Speaker 1: I did all my sinning when I was younger. He 107 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,320 Speaker 1: has no idea about my past. I told him my 108 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:56,720 Speaker 1: body count was only four minutes, and then she gets 109 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:59,600 Speaker 1: ready to go. So here's my problem. I will take 110 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 1: my applause and give it to you. When you held 111 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:08,880 Speaker 1: on to the fact that your body count was foue men, Okay, 112 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 1: that's good, keep it there. My number is three for women, 113 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,080 Speaker 1: and I don't care how you are. It was three, 114 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:22,520 Speaker 1: but since it's two thousand and twenty one, you might 115 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:27,359 Speaker 1: go with foul. And we'll keep that to Max's numbers 116 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,560 Speaker 1: because she can get away with folk since she was 117 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:36,680 Speaker 1: wild and foe. Is it okay? And when we come back, 118 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:40,360 Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you my resolution for you, all right, 119 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,479 Speaker 1: So hang on, man, well, hang on. Steve will have 120 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 1: part two of his response coming up at twenty three 121 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 1: minutes after the hours. Subject I didn't know there were 122 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,440 Speaker 1: side piece etiquette. We'll get back into it right after this. 123 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 1: You're listening to show, all right, Come on, Steve, let's 124 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:01,040 Speaker 1: recap today's Strawberry Letters. Subject I did no there was 125 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 1: side piece etiquette. Yeah, and it ain't. And this guy 126 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,880 Speaker 1: that's been lying to you this whole time, and you've 127 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 1: been lying to yourself a little bit. And I hate 128 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:14,160 Speaker 1: to tell you this, but you're thirty four. And when 129 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:15,760 Speaker 1: you were younger, you was doing some while and you 130 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,640 Speaker 1: slept with the married. Then you was married man. You 131 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,560 Speaker 1: was getting all you wanted, money, great sex and everything. 132 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,360 Speaker 1: You had a few other men on the side. But 133 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,760 Speaker 1: you said you was living your best life. And you 134 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:29,920 Speaker 1: said I was keeping a classymate, shot a reputation, stayed intact. Well, 135 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:34,680 Speaker 1: that's so you thought. And then you know, using a 136 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:37,480 Speaker 1: music video, that's no problem. They took nice trips, ain't 137 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:40,680 Speaker 1: no problem. Using club short dressing heels. We every day. 138 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:44,400 Speaker 1: That's life if it happens. But just two years ago, 139 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 1: I was still with my married man. When I met 140 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 1: my husband. That's when I ended the affair. I met 141 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:52,840 Speaker 1: your husband at church festival, fell in love. I've got 142 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 1: great jobs. You dressed in servingly. Now you wear very rarely, 143 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 1: wearing weeds and wigs. You only drank wine stopps because cigars. 144 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 1: I don't use a family. Easy for you to change ways, 145 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:03,880 Speaker 1: because I did all the city when I was younger, 146 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:07,440 Speaker 1: I ain't. He has no idea about my past. I 147 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,840 Speaker 1: told him my body account was only four men. That's 148 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 1: where you do it, smart lady. Keep it there, congratulations, 149 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 1: Keep it at four. Three is my number. But you 150 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 1: said for now, so we just leave it at fall. 151 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 1: So here's my problem. My ex married man's side piece 152 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 1: is divorced now and he's been calling me a lot, okay, 153 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 1: so begging for sex. I'm scared to block him because 154 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,599 Speaker 1: I think he might do something stupid. Well, let me 155 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:44,199 Speaker 1: ask you something. First of all, you can't be surprised 156 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 1: about this that he's divorced, and you probably know why 157 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 1: he got divorced, right because you probably wasn't the only one. 158 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 1: But now I'm scared to block him because I think 159 00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 1: he might do something stupid. And what's stupid is he 160 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:07,560 Speaker 1: gonna do? Huh? What stupid thing is he gonna do? 161 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:12,200 Speaker 1: Because you know you have a husband, you have a 162 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 1: way to circumvent all stupidity, you really do so. And 163 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:23,920 Speaker 1: then he told you that you need to learn some 164 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:27,360 Speaker 1: side piece etiquette. And according to that, I owe him 165 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,680 Speaker 1: since he did it for me when he was married. 166 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:34,840 Speaker 1: First of all, there is no such thing as you 167 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 1: owe me says I did it for you since I 168 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 1: was married. Oh, this real slick pardner. I appreciate that 169 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 1: love it great, great, but there's no such thing, young lady. 170 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:49,840 Speaker 1: You don't owe him a damn thing and such of all, 171 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 1: don't let this dude blackmail you. You said, what am 172 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,960 Speaker 1: I supposed to do? Now? Do I owe him more sex? No? 173 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 1: You don't. You don't owe him a drop. You have 174 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:02,080 Speaker 1: a life now, and you can't give up your life 175 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:05,079 Speaker 1: because this butt hold and showed back up. And if 176 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,400 Speaker 1: I were you, first of all, block him. What are 177 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,640 Speaker 1: you gonna do? Tell your husband? Well, let me give 178 00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:13,360 Speaker 1: you the solution to that. First of all, you told 179 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,800 Speaker 1: your husband that your body count was for, so he 180 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:19,760 Speaker 1: was in the body count and he was the last one. 181 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:24,040 Speaker 1: Now he's gonna tell your husband what she was messing 182 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,920 Speaker 1: with me while I was married. Then you know what 183 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:33,240 Speaker 1: I want you to say, I didn't know you were married. Period. 184 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:38,760 Speaker 1: Men do it all the time. Your husband will believe you, 185 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 1: and then inform your husband that he's been calling you 186 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:48,160 Speaker 1: trying to steal you back. Oh, I got to out 187 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:54,000 Speaker 1: for you. You ain't got to worry about it. He's done. 188 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,320 Speaker 1: He can't do nothing. But now let me share something 189 00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:59,880 Speaker 1: with you, young lady, so you can understand what I've 190 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:05,240 Speaker 1: had to understand and so many other people. The problem 191 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,400 Speaker 1: with like because you said, you know, you kept it 192 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:11,520 Speaker 1: classy and made sure your reputation was intact. And that's 193 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 1: what you said. Here's the problem with past sins and regrets. 194 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:21,280 Speaker 1: Past sins and regrets, even if when you were living 195 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:28,040 Speaker 1: them with no regrets, as you age, your past sins 196 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:32,160 Speaker 1: come up with regrets, and they show up at the 197 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:35,760 Speaker 1: most inopportune moments. And this is one. So let me 198 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 1: help you understand this again. All of our past sins, 199 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,840 Speaker 1: even though when we're having them at the moment, we 200 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:46,439 Speaker 1: think is a okay. But as you age, your past 201 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:50,360 Speaker 1: sins show up not only as sins but regrets. Those 202 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,520 Speaker 1: are the lessons we learned. So while you even though 203 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:56,679 Speaker 1: thought you were keeping it classy and guarding your reputation, 204 00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,960 Speaker 1: here's a guy that's willing to bring it back up 205 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:05,640 Speaker 1: because he was a part of that pass. So everybody 206 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 1: just understand, we all have a pass. We've all make mistakes. 207 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:14,160 Speaker 1: We're not judging you. I just want everybody that's listening 208 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:18,600 Speaker 1: to this to understand that it can come up again. 209 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:23,199 Speaker 1: It really can, even though it's an oversee and it's 210 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:26,840 Speaker 1: too bad. But don't let nobody hold you to your 211 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:33,079 Speaker 1: pass nobody. Don't let nobody do that to you, including him, 212 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:36,280 Speaker 1: when you've moved on and moved forward and you got 213 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:41,400 Speaker 1: yourself together, gone about your business. That's right. Bye. And 214 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:43,960 Speaker 1: I wish he would. What are he gonna do? Block him? 215 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,320 Speaker 1: Quit talking to him. You don't owe him a damn thing. 216 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:50,080 Speaker 1: Tell him to go get something else, Go get the 217 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:54,640 Speaker 1: chick that got him to divorce. She out there all right, Steve. 218 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,720 Speaker 1: Thank you. Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at 219 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:01,480 Speaker 1: Steve HARVFM, on Instagram, and faith book, and check out 220 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:04,840 Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now. Coming up at 221 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 1: forty six minutes after the hour, we'll have more of 222 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:11,440 Speaker 1: the Steve Harvey Morning Show with Junior and Sports Talk 223 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:16,360 Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.