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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour, Thanks again

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Speaker 1: as usual for joining us today. How are you doing, Susan,

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Speaker 1: I'm doing great. I'm almost rehabbed here. I know you

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Speaker 1: and I with our headbands on and our burned faces,

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Speaker 1: but we're almost there. I know you're a little bit

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Speaker 1: ahead of me by three days. I'm jealous.

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Speaker 2: And ladies and gentlemen, we're so glad to be back.

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Speaker 2: If you haven't heard any of our recent episodes yet,

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Speaker 2: you don't know what you're missing. We've been having a ball.

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Speaker 2: We're answering questions, we're talking about our lives, and we

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Speaker 2: just love doing this.

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Speaker 1: We always love talking about our lives. And we know

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Speaker 1: that you want to find us, and you know the

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Speaker 1: drill by now. If you have a question for us,

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Speaker 1: or you want to leave a comment, all you have

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Speaker 1: to do is go to bachelornation dot com slash Golden

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Speaker 1: Hour send them our way. We love answering your questions.

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Speaker 1: You can ask us questions about our facelift. We're dying

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Speaker 1: to talk about it.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely all right, Today we're going to get into more

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Speaker 2: of the questions. But first, Kathy, let's get into last

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Speaker 2: night's episode of Oh Susan.

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Speaker 1: Susan Susan's Okay, we got to start. We got to

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Speaker 1: start with Chalk. Did you love the beginning where Joan

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Speaker 1: so he has what two grandchildren? Taylor and Tyler are

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Speaker 1: his children? I don't know who, but she's talking to

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Speaker 1: the little boy with his teeth and his smile. I mean,

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Speaker 1: that was a very sweet moment there, and I thought

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Speaker 1: that just shows how Joan is really close to her family,

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Speaker 1: and one's a guy that she can be close with

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Speaker 1: his family.

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Speaker 2: Let's start with Guy. First of all, he made me cry.

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Speaker 2: I actually teared up last night.

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Speaker 1: Wait, wait before whoa whoaoa. Wait before you get into guy,

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Speaker 1: did you hear one more things? Wait, but one more

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Speaker 1: thing about Jock. Since we're going out of order here,

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Speaker 1: we did so what you know, let's we're saving the first.

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Speaker 1: We're saving the best for first. She said to Chalk,

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Speaker 1: did you hear her tell him that she wants a

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Speaker 1: man that she sees a future with and is in

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Speaker 1: a commitment and she said he was on. Did you

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Speaker 1: hear her say something to that effect that she was

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Speaker 1: good with him?

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Speaker 2: She's been saying that the whole time, and that she

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Speaker 2: was attracted to him from the very beginning.

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Speaker 1: And she said that when he came back from his

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Speaker 1: mother's funeral, she felt differently. She just knew.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I just think she was scared he wasn't

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Speaker 2: going to come back. Yeah, well we already know that.

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Speaker 1: I think. I think the next question, Susan is for chalk,

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Speaker 1: and then we can move on to Guy. I just

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Speaker 1: want to see the ring he picked out for what

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Speaker 1: do you think I think he'll do good? He is

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Speaker 1: eager to please. And when she says I see a

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Speaker 1: future with him and has no reservations, I mean that

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Speaker 1: tells me everything I need to know. Mm hmm.

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Speaker 2: And she a couple times she referred to somebody as

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Speaker 2: reminding her of her husband or her late husband, which

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Speaker 2: is interesting.

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Speaker 1: But let's start with Guy. All right.

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Speaker 2: He actually opened up, I mean he really did. He

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Speaker 2: was more vulnerable, his children, his sisters, his you know,

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Speaker 2: he made me cry. He was amazing last night. He said,

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Speaker 2: you know, if you make a wish and you throw

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Speaker 2: something into like tahoe, then your wish will be granted.

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Speaker 2: He said, the prize at the end is worth taking

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Speaker 2: any risk. Like I think he knows what's you know,

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Speaker 2: what's at stake. And I really feel like he was

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Speaker 2: putting his all into this, this stake with he was

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Speaker 2: very vulnerable and he's allowing himself to love again, and

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Speaker 2: I just don't want.

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Speaker 1: Him to get his heart broken, and I feel like

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Speaker 1: he is. She brought Joan brought up John again. You know,

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Speaker 1: this is a prevailing theme on this show, not this episode,

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Speaker 1: the show where we're going back, we're talking about John,

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Speaker 1: the guilt. Can she commit? And I think to some

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Speaker 1: people that that may be a turn off, because you know,

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Speaker 1: why is she there if she can't commit? I personally

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Speaker 1: think Joan is ready to commit, but I think she

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Speaker 1: still struggles a little bit with uh, you know, the

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Speaker 1: death of John. And that's certainly understandable, right, sure, it's

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Speaker 1: three and a half years.

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Speaker 2: But one thing I noticed, and she repeated this with

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Speaker 2: two of them, Kathy, she said, I'm worried he wouldn't

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Speaker 2: pick me.

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Speaker 1: I know, I heard that. What the hell? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: She said that to Jordan, Jordan's guy, and Jordan's exactly.

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Speaker 1: And that's so interesting that she would say that because although,

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Speaker 1: well we'll get to Jordan a minute, let's finish with guy.

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Speaker 1: Guy did a great job. He did. He said, how

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Speaker 1: important family is to him, and that's it is her joan,

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Speaker 1: and that he's going all in. His family seemed to

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Speaker 1: love her and said they hadn't seen their dad behave

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Speaker 1: this way in a long time.

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Speaker 2: When he was talking to his sons and they're like dad,

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Speaker 2: and he was like, that's when he teared up and

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Speaker 2: it got crazy.

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Speaker 1: And then and then he said, sometimes you've got to

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Speaker 1: rush in where fools don't go or something I'm not

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Speaker 1: you know, sound direct quote. I just think for the

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Speaker 1: first time guy put himself that I want her, you know,

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Speaker 1: not as much as chalk in his behavior, but you could.

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Speaker 2: Tell he's really hated as well. As we'll go to

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Speaker 2: the next one, my pastoral. Let me just tell you

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Speaker 2: I loved all of it. I love the energy, maybe

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Speaker 2: because I'm in the salon. I was in the salon,

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Speaker 2: so my life compared to his, like I kept doing

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Speaker 2: comparison things all the way.

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Speaker 1: He stole my heart. You know, you guys can talk

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Speaker 1: here all night long. It'll be titillating discussion. Everyone will

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Speaker 1: be snoring at the table. But Pascal did say I

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Speaker 1: like to be in charge, and I think that's very

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Speaker 1: clear about him. I don't think I mean, it doesn't matter.

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Speaker 1: I don't think in the show he wants a partner

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Speaker 1: as much as he wants a peacock. You know, he

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Speaker 1: wants someone to show off. He wants I.

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Speaker 2: Mean, he wants a good looking woman, but he wants

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Speaker 2: to be in love. He's again, he's another one that

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Speaker 2: is protecting himself. He's had billions of girlfriends, they said,

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Speaker 2: but nothing serious he really wants. But I don't know

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Speaker 2: that he's ready to say I want to marry you.

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Speaker 1: Well, I don't know. I think we got that teaser

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Speaker 1: where Pascal's daughter, I think the name was Natalie, so

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Speaker 1: may as Natalie said, you know, but what if I

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Speaker 1: heard correctly, what she actually said was I don't think

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Speaker 1: my dad won't choose you, which is a double negative,

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Speaker 1: which means she's saying, yeah, it's out there that he

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Speaker 1: could choose you. I think Maxim, his son, you know

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Speaker 1: that they know their dad. I think the most touching

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Speaker 1: thing for me. I know I sound sort of you know,

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Speaker 1: sarcastic or whatever, but I thought he showed a lot

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Speaker 1: more emotion to his son, Maxim, you know I love you,

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Speaker 1: saying you know I've always loved you like I'm not

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Speaker 1: hearing that to Joan, I'm hearing that to his son. Well,

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Speaker 1: that's his family, how about that? Excuse me, wait in

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Speaker 1: the front. Oh my god, I want to take him

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Speaker 1: home with me. Wait a minute, Wait a minute. You

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Speaker 1: said that's his family. If he's on here to find love,

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Speaker 1: Joan would become his family. So for him, understood.

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Speaker 2: But to open up on TV and talk to your family, Yes,

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Speaker 2: you're going to say those things.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I mean, I just listen. I'm sure Pascal is

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Speaker 1: a nice guy. I'd love to meet him, but I

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Speaker 1: don't think Joan is his woman. I don't think he's

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Speaker 1: our guy. I think he's interesting, great TV for some people.

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Speaker 1: I did find it interesting that Joan said, uh, he

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Speaker 1: lives epic like John did. I think that's what a

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Speaker 1: sort of pascal. He has money, he takes charge, you know,

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Speaker 1: he'll fly on a jet to Paris. He's going to

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Speaker 1: do all those things. And that's quote epic living like

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Speaker 1: I guess her husband treated her. But other than that,

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Speaker 1: I don't see the connection with those two. I really don't.

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Speaker 1: That's your opinion, which guess what is. But you know what,

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Speaker 1: it makes him available for you? Yeah? Absolutely, And I

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Speaker 1: love Chicago. I used to live there, So to Chicago,

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Speaker 1: to Chicago. Moving on to Jordans you love it, Okay, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna I gotta say one thing about Jordan.

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Speaker 1: In short, he is not ready to commit, and in fact,

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Speaker 1: I was not surprised at all that he was sound,

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Speaker 1: not at all. He just said I don't think he

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Speaker 1: is ready, or at least during filming, I think he

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Speaker 1: was not to be ready.

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Speaker 2: But he's not one hundred percent or or perhaps now

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Speaker 2: this is a perhaps Joan isn't the right woman's when.

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Speaker 1: You really feel it, you're going to say it. Yeah, Well,

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Speaker 1: I also think you know, he said he had walls up.

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Speaker 1: Joan mentioned it to walls up, not open to the process.

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Speaker 1: I think that's very true. You and I've talked about this.

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Speaker 1: We believe in the process. That's why we would love

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Speaker 1: to have had a second chance. It can work. I

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Speaker 1: don't think it's working for Jordan and Joan and Joan again,

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Speaker 1: you know, she's talking about the fun time. Literally those

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Speaker 1: were her words. I have such a fun time with him.

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Speaker 1: That is not she said, kissing. The kissing, oh, the kissing.

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Speaker 1: That is not the stuff of romance and falling in

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Speaker 1: love and being engaged.

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Speaker 2: I just look and let me ask you something, Kathy,

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Speaker 2: when you're dating somebody.

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Speaker 1: I can't remember. Wait a minute, wait a minute, when

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Speaker 1: you're dating someone, let me let me rewind my mind. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm there.

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Speaker 2: You didn't do a lot of dating because you got

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Speaker 2: married so young, so you might not get this. But

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Speaker 2: when I'm dating somebody, the best part is the kissing.

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Speaker 2: I look forward to the kiss.

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Speaker 1: No, I mean I look for it's the whole intimate things.

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Speaker 2: Wait a minute's not finished yet, all right, I look

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Speaker 2: forward to the kiss that somebody knows how to kiss.

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Speaker 2: So you have to if you will make out to

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Speaker 2: see if that vibe is there, that connection is there.

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Speaker 1: Can I just say chemistry is there?

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Speaker 2: And she is not making out with any of them

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Speaker 2: except for Chalk.

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Speaker 1: I agree with all that tiny bit.

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Speaker 2: With Pascal in another episode, but that that's as a

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Speaker 2: tell all to me watching her kiss to me.

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Speaker 1: First of all, I just want to say, I'm very

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Speaker 1: impressed with you, Susan. While you struggle to know what

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Speaker 1: hooking up means, you've got making out down, so congratus

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Speaker 1: making it. I think you're showing your age. I think

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Speaker 1: that I agree with you to a pay point. I

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Speaker 1: don't say making out anymore? What do I come on?

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Speaker 2: Would you know you got married at twelve, and you

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Speaker 2: know what, you don't have boyfriends, So come on, I'm

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Speaker 2: going to teach you, Kath.

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Speaker 1: You're not teaching me to make out, Thank you very much.

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Speaker 1: I can do just find it on myself, thank you

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Speaker 1: very much. But I think that these other guys, including Jordan,

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Speaker 1: you know, they love their kids. They they talk about

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Speaker 1: you know, Jordan talked about his divorced from ten years ago.

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Speaker 1: These are people that have had rich lives. They've had

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Speaker 1: ups and downs just like we've had. But I think

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Speaker 1: in this case there there just isn't that connection with Joan.

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Speaker 1: And I think Jordan when when she sent him home

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Speaker 1: last night, I don't think he looks sad. He I think,

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Speaker 1: you know, maybe he was a little embarrassed or whatever

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Speaker 1: that he was surprised and then she walked him out.

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Speaker 2: She walked him out and they didn't have much to

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Speaker 2: stay out there. It was really nice getting to know you.

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Speaker 1: Yep. Yeah, but you know what, that was pretty obvious. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: But you know what, Listen, wouldn't you rather have that

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Speaker 1: than a broken heart? Wouldn't you rather have, you know what,

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Speaker 1: like Gary with Golden Bachelor. He could be, he could be.

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Speaker 1: But the point is, I love the fact that they

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Speaker 1: both seem to realize and put it out there on

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Speaker 1: national television Bachelor Nation. Jordan's a great guy, but he

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Speaker 1: wasn't for her and she wasn't for him, you know,

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Speaker 1: I I I think I think it was a great

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Speaker 1: episode in terms of we're narrowing it down really quickly,

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Speaker 1: but you and I'm still envious man that she seems

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Speaker 1: to have found a man she loves. I can't wait

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Speaker 1: for the men tell all to you know, to see

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Speaker 1: with all the people that had there. That was beautiful too.

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Speaker 1: He's got a lot of friends.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and that was so beautiful.

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Speaker 1: Isn't that what you like about this show? Though we

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Speaker 1: see family, we see it's not just two young people

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Speaker 1: fall in love and you know, picking up and moving

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Speaker 1: to New York City. It's it's people that have lives

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Speaker 1: and have loved was he wasn't he the father in

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Speaker 1: law Kathy's dad? Oh my gosh, I was special. Oh

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Speaker 1: and he just you know, he just told him, you're

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Speaker 1: in love.

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Speaker 2: He looked at him and said, I see it in

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Speaker 2: your eyes and how he was he wasn't quite ready

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Speaker 2: to actually say the words. He said everything else, yes,

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Speaker 2: but then he is going to go all in. As

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Speaker 2: he walked her to the car, that's when he said it.

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Speaker 1: He said, I love you. Yes, you know, I must

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Speaker 1: have been taking a sip of vodka. I did not

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Speaker 1: hear that. I did not miss He finally opened up,

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Speaker 1: he said, I love you. He she felt it, yep. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to rewind it and listen if that if he.

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Speaker 2: Said that after sitting with his father in law, and

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Speaker 2: he wasn't denying how he felt.

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Speaker 1: His father or his father, I'm confused. Now, who is

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Speaker 1: he sitting with the old Kathy? That's Kathy's father or

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Speaker 1: his father? No, I thought it was Kathy's father. Okay,

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Speaker 1: well he wasn't married to Kathy. Oh, Kathy's when he

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Speaker 1: was engaged to for like eight or nine years and

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Speaker 1: she passed away. They never did that was her dad, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I believe because she passed away writers, But I think anyhow,

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Speaker 1: that father, Yeah, he's the one that said, I'm looking

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Speaker 1: in your eyes. I see it in your eyes that

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Speaker 1: you're in love with her. You're in love.

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Speaker 2: And that's when I feel like he finally accepted it

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Speaker 2: and he was able to say it. Yeah, I loved

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Speaker 2: I love this that Joan needed to hear it from

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Speaker 2: any of them or all of them for her to

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Speaker 2: make that decision.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I found it touching. I found

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Speaker 1: it very touching that Kathy's dad a was there. It

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Speaker 1: shows that he has such a strong relationship with chob

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Speaker 1: or seemingly so, but also that they were he was

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Speaker 1: so welcoming to Joan, Like, those are the little nuggets

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Speaker 1: of the show that that I feel like, Oh, they

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Speaker 1: captured it, you know, they caught the love of older

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Speaker 1: people and what it means to have a relationship with

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Speaker 1: an older person. You know what. We have our children,

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Speaker 1: we have grandchildren, we have friends. In Chalk's case, he

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Speaker 1: has this woman that he, you know, came that close

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Speaker 1: to marriage with and so her dad, Kathy's dad, is

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Speaker 1: such an important part of his life. I love those

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Speaker 1: parts of the show. I love that That's what gives

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Speaker 1: it a real you know, it brings back the love,

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Speaker 1: it brings back the hope that we all have for

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Speaker 1: the future.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, but it just breaks my heart when she walked

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Speaker 2: in there and there was three roses and four men.

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Speaker 1: I get it.

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Speaker 2: Somebody's got to go home and the worst part is

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Speaker 2: yet to come after the overnight.

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Speaker 1: Somebody's got to go home, you know. Yeah, Well it

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Speaker 1: breaks my heart. No, sooner they go home, the sooner

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Speaker 1: we get to meet them. What is wrong with you?

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Speaker 1: So wait?

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Speaker 2: So you know how, they have the coming shows and

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Speaker 2: then they'll put on the bottom. If you want to

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Speaker 2: be a part of the next season, please fill out

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Speaker 2: your application. I almost downloaded it. I want to apply again.

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Speaker 2: You think they'll accept me for the next Bachelor.

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Speaker 1: I think you and I should do it together. All right, Kathy,

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Speaker 1: it's time for our question of the day. So are

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Speaker 1: you ready? Oh? I am so ready. Okay, you're gonna.

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Speaker 2: Know what's something you did as a parent that you're

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Speaker 2: incredibly proud of? Just one thoughkay, not everything. One thing

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Speaker 2: that you did as a parent that you're incredibly.

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Speaker 1: I was going to make a funny joke since I

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Speaker 1: say I got three kids to adulthood without you know,

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Speaker 1: murdering anyone. But what I would say is, and the

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Speaker 1: truth is, I am incredibly proud that all three of

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Speaker 1: my children give back to their community. They all either

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Speaker 1: have jobs where they you know, give back or they

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Speaker 1: all find time to give back to their community, and

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Speaker 1: I think that's beautiful. That's what about you.

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Speaker 2: First and foremost, all three of my children believe in God.

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Speaker 2: That we instilled that in them, and they were able

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Speaker 2: to choose what type of religion they wanted to practice

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Speaker 2: or whatever. But they got that here at home. And

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Speaker 2: I was really wanting to say, no, we really wanting

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Speaker 2: to say that they all know how to clean, but

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Speaker 2: they don't do it.

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Speaker 1: So I guess you know what, You and I share

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Speaker 1: that too. Cook Susan and I are both really very clean,

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Speaker 1: neat and tidy organized people, and some of our children are.

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Speaker 1: And some of our children were raised by bears in

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Speaker 1: the woods.

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Speaker 2: Although Brittany's trying to cook, I think Nick really took

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Speaker 2: up the cooking part cause he'll come over and ask me, Mom,

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Speaker 2: how do you make that? Again? And he does it.

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Speaker 2: So that's kind of cool. And they're all great parents,

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Speaker 2: well two of them.

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Speaker 1: Wait. Can I just tell you, you know, we beat

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Speaker 1: this one to death. I don't cook very much. We

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Speaker 1: talk a little bit. Do you know that my daughter

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Speaker 1: and my son, two of my three children are really

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Speaker 1: good cooks. No, and really good cooks. The next time

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Speaker 1: I visit, I'm going to their house. I said, what's

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Speaker 1: the matter, you don't like my frozen macaroni and cheese?

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Speaker 1: Next time I'll get you do. All right, let's get

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Speaker 1: into these fan questions. It's our favorite time. We love this.

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Speaker 1: All right, here we go Question number one. This is

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Speaker 1: from Marissa, who is forty three from Chula Vista, California. Hi,

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Speaker 1: Kathy and Susan, hope you are both doing well. I

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Speaker 1: wanted to write in about an issue I'm having with

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Speaker 1: my partner. We have been together for two years and

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Speaker 1: just moved in together earlier this year. Something I've noticed

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Speaker 1: only since we started living together is that when he

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Speaker 1: gets angry, he gives me the silent treatment. The silent

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Speaker 1: treatment really doesn't work for me because I have no

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Speaker 1: idea what he's feeling and what he's upset about. It

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Speaker 1: just makes me anxious and spiral as I'm someone who

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Speaker 1: needs to things out. I feel like it's just really

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Speaker 1: childish and we need to have better communication if we're

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Speaker 1: going to last for the long haul and possibly get married.

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Speaker 1: I've brought it up with him, and he says he

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Speaker 1: will try to be better, but it seems to only

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Speaker 1: have gotten worse. Do you think this is a major

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Speaker 1: red flag and or a deal breaker for us? If not,

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Speaker 1: how do you think we can work through this? Any

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Speaker 1: advice is welcome. Thank you ladies, and love your podcast.

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Speaker 2: Well, thank you Marissa for reaching out to us. So

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Speaker 2: this is like a two part thing for me, Kathy. Okay, A,

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Speaker 2: she did bring it up to him that it doesn't

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Speaker 2: work for her. I get that, b sometimes if you

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Speaker 2: know that's who he is, and he has to do

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Speaker 2: that silent thing for him when he's ready, he will

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Speaker 2: discuss it. Now, when I put myself in her shoes,

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Speaker 2: I feel the same way. I would haunt him, Like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I get your silent treatment. What the hell's on your mind?

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Speaker 1: What do you want to talk about?

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Speaker 2: Let's talk about it because if it goes on too long,

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Speaker 2: then I'm pissed off and I don't even know why

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Speaker 2: I'm pissed off.

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Speaker 1: I'm pissed off because you're silent, do you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean?

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Speaker 2: So try and sit him down again, have a really

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Speaker 2: serious conversation, like, Babe, let's plan on. You can only

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Speaker 2: give me the silent treatment for three hours. After that,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna go crazy.

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Speaker 1: What do you think. Well, I actually somewhat agree with you.

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Speaker 1: I think that when some people just need time to

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Speaker 1: cool off, to ponder, meditate, whatever it is they do

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Speaker 1: to process whatever's happened, the danger is, and I think

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Speaker 1: that's where Marie is going here, is my husband was

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Speaker 1: a guy that would process it internally, and then it

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Speaker 1: was over and he didn't want to talk about it.

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Speaker 1: I know, Susan, you'll be shocked to know that I

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Speaker 1: wanted to talk things out. So that was the problem.

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Speaker 1: It's not that you have to do it right in

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Speaker 1: the moment, but oftentimes it seems that people who want to,

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Speaker 1: you know, not talk about it in the moment really

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Speaker 1: are saying they don't want to talk about it at all.

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Speaker 1: So Marissam, my advice to you would be let him

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Speaker 1: excuse me.

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Speaker 2: You notice where she said she never noticed it until

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Speaker 2: they moved in together, So obviously that's just how you

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Speaker 2: wouldn't even know. Like you just made a great point,

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Speaker 2: he might have gotten over it by the time.

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Speaker 1: He saw her again exactly.

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Speaker 2: It might not even be her, it might be upset

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Speaker 2: about something else.

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Speaker 1: But the point is, if Marissa is probably a lot

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Speaker 1: like me, she wants to know what he's upset about

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Speaker 1: whether it's or exactly. So marissam my advice, she would be,

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Speaker 1: you know, Susan's wright, give it some amount of time.

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Speaker 1: But the communication I would have is that he needs

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Speaker 1: to communicy kate with you at some point. What he's

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Speaker 1: angry about where his head is how we got from

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Speaker 1: A to B, because otherwise it's just going to cause

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Speaker 1: you distress and then you're going to become resentful. So

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Speaker 1: you know, give him a space and then say we

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Speaker 1: got to talk about.

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Speaker 2: It and it's our three c's correct, Kathy, communicate, commit

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Speaker 2: it compassion.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, you know, it's interesting they're having these issues

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Speaker 1: that they've moved in and she said for the long

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Speaker 1: haul and maybe even marriage. So I'm not sure how

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Speaker 1: committed this is at this point, but Marisa, I wish

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Speaker 1: you all that We both wish you all the best,

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Speaker 1: and as bad as she thinks, right right? Is it

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Speaker 1: a major red flag? No, you know it's not a

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Speaker 1: major red flag. It's only a major red flag if

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Speaker 1: you two cannot come to an understanding about how you're

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Speaker 1: going to communicate about issues, that's when it becomes a

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Speaker 1: major red flag. I agree, Hey, Kathy, and I agree again,

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Speaker 1: I don't know who's happening here. I thank you, Marissa.

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Speaker 1: I think there's an eclipse outside. We're too much, all right.

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Speaker 2: We have question number two and this is from Alice,

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Speaker 2: who is twenty seven from Spokane, Washington, Golden Hour Podcast. Hello,

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Speaker 2: my name is Alice, and I have a question for you.

432
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 2: I am in a new relationship with a great guy.

433
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,480
Speaker 2: He checks all my boxes and seems to be what

434
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 2: I've been looking for in a partner. Well, that sentence

435
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 2: right there just gave me goosebumps.

436
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,879
Speaker 1: Well, hold your breath, because read the next sentence. I

437
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 1: like the first part.

438
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:37,359
Speaker 2: The only problem is he keeps bringing up his ex.

439
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,919
Speaker 2: Oh God, they broke up years ago, and he really

440
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:43,880
Speaker 2: does seem to be over her. He just keeps bringing

441
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:50,520
Speaker 2: her up casually, like if we go somewhere we went,

442
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:55,439
Speaker 2: or if there's a funny story. I have told him

443
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 2: that it bothers me and that I don't want to

444
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,919
Speaker 2: hear about his past because it takes me out of

445
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 2: the present and us being together. He says he understands,

446
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:08,399
Speaker 2: but has still brought her up a few times since.

447
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 2: Do you think this means he's not over her? I

448
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:15,080
Speaker 2: really can't tell, and my friends say, it seems like

449
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 2: he's obsessed with me, So maybe he just is someone

450
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 2: who is a little too nostalgic. Curious about your thoughts

451
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:24,960
Speaker 2: on this, Thank you, ladies.

452
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:30,520
Speaker 1: I think if we agree on this one, I got

453
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:34,480
Speaker 1: to say, if they broke up a long time ago

454
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:39,120
Speaker 1: and he's still talking about her, he has either not

455
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:43,640
Speaker 1: had a life in between dating her and meeting this one,

456
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,360
Speaker 1: so all he has to talk about is his ex

457
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,160
Speaker 1: from ten years ago, because apparently had no life between

458
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:53,440
Speaker 1: her and meeting this new one. Alice, But I don't

459
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,679
Speaker 1: think it's a red flag, but it does concern me

460
00:24:56,520 --> 00:25:01,360
Speaker 1: that he talks about her a lot, particularly when you said, uh,

461
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 1: it makes you uncomfortable, and he says he understands, and

462
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 1: then he keeps doing it.

463
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,439
Speaker 2: So I don't know, what do you think creature a habit?

464
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,399
Speaker 2: Like maybe he's familiarized Oh my gosh, I remember doing

465
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:15,400
Speaker 2: this with her, or she didn't say that he's complaining

466
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:17,719
Speaker 2: about her, just that he talks about her.

467
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 1: I'd like to know what it is he's talking about,

468
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,440
Speaker 1: like do you really care? Wait? Do you really care?

469
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,600
Speaker 1: I guess I don't know. I don't know if it

470
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:28,159
Speaker 1: would bother me. Oh, well let me let me just

471
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,199
Speaker 1: paint a little picture for you. I and you know

472
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,760
Speaker 1: this story. I went out on a date with a

473
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 1: guy whose wife had passed away like three years previous

474
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,920
Speaker 1: to the date. All the guy did was, I don't

475
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,120
Speaker 1: know what her name was, let's call her Susan. All

476
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 1: he did was talk about Susan Olner. I was like,

477
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:47,280
Speaker 1: get out. I understand that.

478
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:51,640
Speaker 2: I feel like, because it's his past, his wife that passed.

479
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 1: This one doesn't this is his past too, Yes, but

480
00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:58,760
Speaker 1: she's not dead. Oh so so wait a minute, I.

481
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 2: Think still grieving maybe, or still trying to compare it.

482
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 2: So let me get the tr But we're not talking

483
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:06,879
Speaker 2: about him.

484
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 1: So it's okay to talk about your dead exes, just

485
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 1: not your current not. Remember on our show, Kathy and

486
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:18,280
Speaker 1: Gary had his wife in the closet the picture, and

487
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 1: all I kept thinking was, when you pick somebody to

488
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:22,159
Speaker 1: be with.

489
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 2: I hope you put that picture away. Yeah, well somewhere

490
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,119
Speaker 2: where he could refer to it. Maybe, But you have

491
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,680
Speaker 2: to let go. You don't replace, but you let go

492
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 2: and you move on. I mean, but for this case,

493
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:39,360
Speaker 2: he says he understands, but has still brought her up

494
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 2: a few times. Yeah, honey, if you could tell me

495
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 2: in what context he's bringing her up, and that might

496
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 2: help me to say, hey, tell him to you know what.

497
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 1: Or well, also if he's made improvement, Alice, let's you know,

498
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:57,800
Speaker 1: if you brought her up all the time in the beginning,

499
00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:01,520
Speaker 1: announced just a few ten times, that's called progress. So

500
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:03,480
Speaker 1: give the guy a break, Kathy.

501
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 2: Would you be like when he brought it up, say

502
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 2: you're that? Would you be like, here we go again.

503
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:08,800
Speaker 2: I gotta hear about her?

504
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:12,680
Speaker 1: I mean, oh, we played moral quandary? No, God, don't

505
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,119
Speaker 1: even bring up Okay, So wait, wait, wait, I just

506
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 1: want I just want to say one more thing to Alice. Yes, yes,

507
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:22,400
Speaker 1: if this guy ticks all your boxes and he seems perfect,

508
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 1: I want to be the first to say mozzle to

509
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 1: you and break the bad news to you. He's not perfect.

510
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,880
Speaker 1: You know why, Alice. There's no such thing as perfect.

511
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 1: So love him and embrace him with all his imperfections,

512
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:39,680
Speaker 1: and hopefully he stops bringing up his X. But he's

513
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: making progress, so stick with that.

514
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,879
Speaker 2: That reminds me Kathy verse a poem that I sometimes

515
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,720
Speaker 2: do at a wedding, and it starts with he's not perfect,

516
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 2: Then you aren't either, But sometimes you meet somebody that

517
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 2: was perfect for you.

518
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,679
Speaker 1: Oh man, since you should, you should chisel that in

519
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:01,680
Speaker 1: stone and right front walk in. Okay, all right, let's

520
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:06,000
Speaker 1: move it along. This one is for question from Ben.

521
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 1: He's thirty six from Hollywood, Florida. I spent a summer

522
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:14,399
Speaker 1: in Hollywood, Florida. Once. Okay, hello and Susan and Cathy.

523
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 1: My wife listens to your podcast and she told me

524
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:21,080
Speaker 1: to write into y'all spoken like a true Southerner for

525
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,919
Speaker 1: some advice because she doesn't know what else to say.

526
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 1: So here I am. We are expecting our first baby

527
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:30,199
Speaker 1: early next year, and we are both excited. We just

528
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,200
Speaker 1: had our little gender reveal party with our family last

529
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 1: month and we found out we're having a boy. We

530
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: smiled and acted excited with the family, but when we

531
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 1: got home, we both broke down. We were really hoping

532
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 1: to have a girl, and now it feels like we

533
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 1: are less excited about the baby, and we feel absolutely

534
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 1: terrible about that. I don't feel like I can talk

535
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 1: to my friends about it because whenever I share that

536
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 1: I am not as excited about a boy, they think

537
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:59,080
Speaker 1: I'm crazy. I just always saw myself as one of

538
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 1: those girl dads. I know we will maybe have a

539
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:05,240
Speaker 1: girl in the future, but I can't shake this super

540
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:08,680
Speaker 1: disappointed feeling about the kind of family we thought we'd have.

541
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 1: My wife said, you both have boys and girls, so

542
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:14,280
Speaker 1: I was hoping you could give us some advice on

543
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 1: how to get excited about a baby boy. Thank you both.

544
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 1: We look forward to hearing what you have to say, ghosts,

545
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 1: because I got blessed ones. They're heart. It's blessed their heart.

546
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 2: So I will say this, when that baby comes. You're

547
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 2: gonna laugh at the feelings that you're having right now

548
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:38,400
Speaker 2: because it's something you can't even just put into words.

549
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 2: It won't matter, but I get it you were hoping

550
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 2: for something, and it was a little disappointing that, oh

551
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:46,960
Speaker 2: my gosh, it's not a girl, all the girl clothes

552
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 2: you want to buy, all the things. Usually people get

553
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,720
Speaker 2: upset when it's not a boy. So this one's a

554
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 2: little different from me.

555
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,160
Speaker 1: Now, that's just because you're Italian Suitsan. Most people don't

556
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 1: give a damn what they're having a long best, everybody

557
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 1: buys a son to carry on the name, you know.

558
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 1: But for God bless you.

559
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 2: I just hope that baby's perfectly healthy, and you will

560
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 2: never think twice about what you're feeling right now.

561
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:11,440
Speaker 1: But it's okay if you want to have a girl.

562
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 1: So yeah, here's what I would say to you. It's

563
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 1: your first child, and you didn't have to tell me

564
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:20,240
Speaker 1: this was your first child with your wife, because everything

565
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 1: you wrote screams first time parent. But here's what I'm

566
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 1: going to say to you. If the most important thing,

567
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 1: and it sounds trite, but it really isn't the most

568
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:35,800
Speaker 1: important thing is that you have a healthy child. That's

569
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 1: what matters. And whatever God or whatever higher being, if

570
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 1: you believe in that is going to give you is

571
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 1: the best thing ever healthy, ten fingers and ten toes.

572
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 1: And here's the thing, Susan's right, when you hold that

573
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 1: baby for the first time and you realize that you

574
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:02,280
Speaker 1: and your wife created this child, your heart will expand.

575
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 1: I remember I had a son. My first child was

576
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 1: a son, and I really wanted a girl. The second

577
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 1: time and I had another son, and when I held him,

578
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,360
Speaker 1: I was worried, ben I was worried I wouldn't love

579
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 1: him as much because you know, I had a son,

580
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 1: I had the perfect son. But you know what happens.

581
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 1: You you hold that baby and your heart expands. Just it.

582
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:28,040
Speaker 1: I can't explain it to you, but you love that

583
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 1: one as much as the first one, and so good

584
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 1: luck to you. Congratulate.

585
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 2: Don't don't you want to say to them, it's all

586
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,200
Speaker 2: right to have that feeling. Don't be impor it is

587
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 2: to say, oh, man, I'm disappointed. I was really hoping

588
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 2: for a girl, but I can't wait to see myself.

589
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 1: And it's okay. It's you know, it's okay to feel disappointed,

590
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 1: But as Susan said, it's going to be short lived

591
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:52,000
Speaker 1: because once you hold that baby, and oh, the first smile,

592
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,520
Speaker 1: your son will have you wrapped around his finger. Ben,

593
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:58,800
Speaker 1: So get ready. Congratulations to you both. Let us know

594
00:31:58,880 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 1: how it.

595
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 2: Don't ever ever hesitate to ask us anything. But I'm

596
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,840
Speaker 2: glad your husband went and wrote it for you. I

597
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 2: really have.

598
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 1: To both of you, all right.

599
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 2: Question number four, and this is from Cat. She's sixty

600
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,720
Speaker 2: two and she's from Syracuse, New York.

601
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 1: Good afternoon, girls.

602
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 2: I don't really have anything to ask in particular, but

603
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 2: I was just dumped and thought I turned to my

604
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:37,480
Speaker 2: podcast friends for some love. I was in a fairly

605
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:41,640
Speaker 2: new relationship. I was super excited about the for the

606
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:45,360
Speaker 2: first time since my late husband passed. It had been

607
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 2: years since I dated, and I was so happy to

608
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:52,200
Speaker 2: be feeling those butterflies again. Then about nine months in,

609
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 2: he just dumped me and blindsided me out of nowhere.

610
00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:59,600
Speaker 2: He didn't give me much of a reason, just said

611
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 2: he really that he didn't want to be tied down.

612
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 2: And she quotes what seventy year old man says this,

613
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 2: I have an answer for that. Now. We haven't talked

614
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 2: in a few weeks and I'm just totally heartbroken. I

615
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 2: can barely sleep, or eat or get out of the

616
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 2: house right now. I was so excited about finding love again.

617
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:23,600
Speaker 2: Any words of wisdom or love for a broken heart

618
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 2: are welcome. Love you girls lots, and just wanted a

619
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:30,640
Speaker 2: virtual hug. I am sorry, the biggest we are sending the.

620
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:35,120
Speaker 1: Huge you we are. Let me just say, Kat, first

621
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 1: of all, I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband.

622
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:43,240
Speaker 1: You know I'm living that life too. What seven year

623
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:46,040
Speaker 1: old man says this? What you know he does want

624
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 1: to be tied down? Probably a guy you don't say,

625
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 1: but either he was divorced or single, whatever his situation was.

626
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 1: He likes the idea this doesn't reflect on you, Kat,

627
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:01,120
Speaker 1: That's what I want you to hear. He he is

628
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:06,360
Speaker 1: obviously enjoying his freedom, his his newfound whatever it is

629
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:10,200
Speaker 1: he's doing. And either he just wants to keep it

630
00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 1: that way, or and that has no reflection on you,

631
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:16,800
Speaker 1: or he dated you for nine months and he decided,

632
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:20,120
Speaker 1: you know what, maybe that's when he realized he didn't

633
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:22,279
Speaker 1: want to be tied down. Or maybe you're not the

634
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 1: right one. And you know what, Cat, that's okay. It's

635
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:27,720
Speaker 1: okay that you're not the right one for him, because

636
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 1: you're going to meet a lot of guys who aren't

637
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 1: right for you. So we you know, I love you,

638
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:34,319
Speaker 1: We love you. I'm sorry you have a broken heart.

639
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 1: It will get better. It will get out and get

640
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:40,000
Speaker 1: out and do things though, Kat, Do not sit on

641
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:43,879
Speaker 1: your sofa just, you know, moaning, moaning the fact that

642
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 1: you guys have broken up. Get out, get up, move

643
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 1: you'll feel better. What do you think, Susan?

644
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 2: And what I want to share is I get it.

645
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:56,040
Speaker 2: What an asshole that he blinds on it? You just

646
00:34:56,120 --> 00:35:00,399
Speaker 2: when you thought things were great. It sucks, It hurts.

647
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 2: You gotta pick up the pieces. You can't go crazy

648
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:06,640
Speaker 2: trying to get him back, because.

649
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 1: Then we look foolish.

650
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 2: And trust me, I've done these foolish things, and I'm

651
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 2: so happy now today that I've overcame some of these

652
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 2: things that I would do because I wouldn't understand why.

653
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:19,360
Speaker 2: What was it something I said? Did I do something?

654
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:23,960
Speaker 2: Don't even ask? Obviously it's not the right one, and

655
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 2: it does sting. And I'm glad you reached out to us,

656
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 2: because we would hug you so much.

657
00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 1: But since I have a question, I have a question.

658
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 1: Do you think I know she feels blindsided. I know

659
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:38,400
Speaker 1: Cat feels blindsided, but I'm guessing you know the guy's

660
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:42,960
Speaker 1: not necessarily a jerk. He may have been wait, he

661
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:47,120
Speaker 1: may have been feeling undecided and maybe started pulling away

662
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 1: a little bit, and because she wanted it so much,

663
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 1: she didn't read the room. We do that when we

664
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 1: want something. That's what I'm saying. We don't know. I'm

665
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,960
Speaker 1: saying we don't know, So Cat, maybe he was struggling

666
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:02,400
Speaker 1: for the last few months to find a way to

667
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:04,520
Speaker 1: tell you, and you were just so happy you didn't

668
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:07,960
Speaker 1: want to see it. But either way, it doesn't matter.

669
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:11,840
Speaker 1: He's not the right guy for you. Please pick yourself

670
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:14,719
Speaker 1: up go get your hair with a big ouch. Though

671
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:18,359
Speaker 1: it is a big ouch, but stinks. It does stink.

672
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:22,239
Speaker 1: But you know what, sitting around and telling yourself how

673
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:25,360
Speaker 1: awful you feel and you know life did me wrong

674
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:27,280
Speaker 1: is not going to get her to a better place.

675
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:28,400
Speaker 1: So Kat, get.

676
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 2: Time, time, time, and find some.

677
00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 1: Retail therapy. That would be me, retail therapy.

678
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 2: Get your hair done, go get your nails done, or

679
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,759
Speaker 2: you know, when you get under somebody else, you'll get

680
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:43,319
Speaker 2: over that.

681
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,279
Speaker 1: Listen, Kat, I will be in Auburn, New York for

682
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:49,400
Speaker 1: Christmas because that's where my son in lawt family lives.

683
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:52,759
Speaker 1: So if you need a shopping buddy, let me know.

684
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:55,800
Speaker 1: I'll take you out. We'll paint the town white and

685
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:58,359
Speaker 1: you'll be lacking. You go to dinner and drinks with her.

686
00:36:58,400 --> 00:36:59,280
Speaker 1: I'll do the shopping.

687
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,720
Speaker 2: Thank you, but thank you for writing it and Sharon,

688
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 2: and my heart goes out to you. All right, Kathy,

689
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 2: it's time for a game today. I guess what I'm

690
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 2: so excited about. We're switching things up.

691
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 1: It's not wait game. Wait a second. Just for our listeners,

692
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:17,960
Speaker 1: I would like you to know there is no shock

693
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 1: in awe here for Susan say, we're switching things up.

694
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 1: All Susan's done is bitch Moon and complain to the

695
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:30,000
Speaker 1: producers about how much she hates moral quandary. See she's

696
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 1: still y'all can't say she's making a fan. So what

697
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:38,280
Speaker 1: these life advice Roulette? That's right? What could these wonderful

698
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:41,319
Speaker 1: producers do but make you happy? So let's get going

699
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,200
Speaker 1: and play life Advice.

700
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:47,719
Speaker 2: We're going to take turns reading some common pieces of advice,

701
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:52,200
Speaker 2: some of which are hot takes, and we will each

702
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:56,319
Speaker 2: discuss if we agree or we disagree, and why you

703
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:57,359
Speaker 2: want to read the first one?

704
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,759
Speaker 1: Kathy? All right, yeah, I got it, all right? All right,

705
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:05,520
Speaker 1: you agree or disagree. Sometimes it's okay to settle. You

706
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:09,319
Speaker 1: don't always need to chase the perfect situation. Good enough

707
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:13,160
Speaker 1: can be just fine, for example romantic relationships. You agree

708
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 1: or disagree? I disagree.

709
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 2: And you know what I like about this game because

710
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:20,880
Speaker 2: I get to say what I think about me.

711
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:23,720
Speaker 1: I can't guess what somebody else is doing, and I've

712
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 1: failed like game. Thank the producers against the producers. Yeah, yeah,

713
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 1: our producers. I love each and every one of you. Okay.

714
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 1: I think sometimes it is okay to settle, but not

715
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:43,840
Speaker 1: when it comes to a romantic relationship. Well then, but

716
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:48,840
Speaker 1: you don't Well it says you don't always need to

717
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:52,839
Speaker 1: chase the perfect situation. Listen, Susan, there are no perfect men.

718
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 1: We you and I've talked about this.

719
00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 2: Nobody said perfect men. We're talking about a perfect romance

720
00:38:58,520 --> 00:38:59,279
Speaker 2: or relationship.

721
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:02,480
Speaker 1: I'm saying, there is no perfect romance or relationship. We

722
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 1: all settle. What are you willing to put up with?

723
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:09,400
Speaker 1: We've all talked about it, So settling, I think that's

724
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:13,520
Speaker 1: the wrong word. It's it's if you know that it's

725
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 1: not something you want and something you can't live with,

726
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:18,839
Speaker 1: then you're settling. But you know, if I want a tall,

727
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,000
Speaker 1: dark and handsome guy with a thick head of hair

728
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:24,040
Speaker 1: and I meet a tall guy with a bald head,

729
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:27,439
Speaker 1: am I settling? Hell? No, Right, that's all I'm saying.

730
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 1: It depends on what it is. All right, Right, you

731
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:30,680
Speaker 1: do the next one? All Right?

732
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:33,840
Speaker 2: You don't have to love your job. It's okay to

733
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 2: just like it. Not everyone finds passion and work, and

734
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 2: that's okay.

735
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:46,279
Speaker 1: Absolutely agree, And I'll tell you what, Yes, but some

736
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:49,880
Speaker 1: people find their love and passion in their volunteer work,

737
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:54,200
Speaker 1: in their family life. Right, So you don't. It's okay,

738
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:59,959
Speaker 1: all right. The next one, I wish it was mine.

739
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 1: Oh no, it's mine, and I get to give vipen first.

740
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:09,160
Speaker 1: Fake it until you make it actually works. Confidence can

741
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 1: come through acting like you know what you're doing even

742
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 1: when you don't. And I'm going to say so strongly

743
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:20,000
Speaker 1: that I agree that this stay. I knew you would too,

744
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:24,400
Speaker 1: and you know why, because it's the old belief that

745
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 1: if you believe in yourself, if I wake up every

746
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:30,320
Speaker 1: morning and say, Kathy, you got this, then my behavior,

747
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:32,680
Speaker 1: my attitude is going to be that.

748
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:37,160
Speaker 2: All day long. Absolutely, So, yes, you make it. Friends,

749
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 2: blood is thicker than water. Family is family, and just

750
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:45,120
Speaker 2: because you don't get along doesn't mean you cut ties.

751
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:49,239
Speaker 1: Ooh, that's a tough one. It depends on what that

752
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 1: family member did. But they're right.

753
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:54,479
Speaker 2: Family is family, it's blood. You just learn to deal

754
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:58,320
Speaker 2: and you accept things that you cannot change.

755
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,960
Speaker 1: So that sounds like something out of a Norman Rockwell

756
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:03,600
Speaker 1: album that you dug up.

757
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,480
Speaker 2: I think alcoholism that's one of the steps or something.

758
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 2: Except James, Yeah, people in AA. That was one of

759
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 2: the things I learned from my ex husband going through it.

760
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, what what did you harmally as family. Well, yeah, yeah,

761
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,759
Speaker 1: and vanilla milk is vanilla milk. What's your point? My

762
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:26,080
Speaker 1: point is you cannot change, yes, but you don't. How

763
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 1: much time do you have to spend with the family

764
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:30,120
Speaker 1: that you don't like. I'll be very honest with you.

765
00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:34,320
Speaker 1: I come from a large family, and I don't spend

766
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 1: a lot of time. Granted we live in very different

767
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 1: states they Most of my family live in Massachusetts. You know.

768
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:45,279
Speaker 1: I see my brother in California, and I'm very close

769
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,200
Speaker 1: to my sister who lives in Ottawa, Canada. But the

770
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:50,040
Speaker 1: rest of them, I don't really see that much.

771
00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:52,840
Speaker 2: Okay, But we're just saying a family is family, and

772
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:56,560
Speaker 2: just because you don't get along well by definition meaning

773
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:59,440
Speaker 2: you cut the ties. So if you didn't get along,

774
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:01,319
Speaker 2: would you ties completely?

775
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:03,279
Speaker 1: Well, I got one sister, I'm thinking about it.

776
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:05,920
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, you've had a different child the most I

777
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:06,560
Speaker 2: will say.

778
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:11,359
Speaker 1: Let's move on to the next one. I know you

779
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 1: don't have to be a morning person to be successful.

780
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:18,920
Speaker 1: Productivity isn't tied to waking up early. Night owls can

781
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:23,400
Speaker 1: thrive too, absolutely, I suppose, But I like to be

782
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 1: the listen. You better believe this. Susan if you're a

783
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:28,120
Speaker 1: night nurse that works the eleven to seven shift, you

784
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:31,919
Speaker 1: better believe it. I guess any think that happened? All right?

785
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 1: Excuse me.

786
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:36,920
Speaker 2: You don't need to forgive someone to move on. Letting

787
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 2: go of resentment doesn't always mean offering forgiveness. WHOA this

788
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:42,680
Speaker 2: was meant for me?

789
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:44,880
Speaker 1: Well? Good? What do you think.

790
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 2: Letting go of resentment is really difficult? I do need

791
00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 2: to forgive, even though it will always be I might

792
00:42:57,040 --> 00:43:00,080
Speaker 2: still always resent, but I have to tell myself that

793
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:02,880
Speaker 2: I forgive some somebody for something.

794
00:43:02,719 --> 00:43:03,359
Speaker 1: To move on.

795
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 2: I can't open myself for new if I'm not past

796
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:10,880
Speaker 2: the I mean we're talking relationships, right.

797
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well I don't think it's necessarily just relationships, but I.

798
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:20,640
Speaker 2: Think I do because that's what we're talking about.

799
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:22,680
Speaker 1: Well, okay, but.

800
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:26,800
Speaker 2: You can't move on if you're still resenting somebody I

801
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 2: agree with.

802
00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:30,440
Speaker 1: You, or if you I agree. But I also think

803
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:35,000
Speaker 1: if we're talking about relationships, you can. This is something

804
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:39,359
Speaker 1: I had to learn. You can forgive someone for bad

805
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:44,640
Speaker 1: behavior or or some some issue that occurred, but that

806
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:48,839
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you need to go back. A lot I've

807
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:51,759
Speaker 1: met people who think, well, I forgave him or I

808
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 1: forgave her so I can jump back in for me,

809
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:58,319
Speaker 1: those don't go hand in hand. I think that being

810
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 1: able to move on requires that you're able to forgive

811
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:05,120
Speaker 1: and let go of the resentment. But sometimes people take

812
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 1: that as a pass. I forgave him, right.

813
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:13,279
Speaker 2: And go of resentment doesn't always mean offering forgiveness. So

814
00:44:13,719 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, we want to say we're forgiven, but

815
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:20,359
Speaker 2: we might not deep down inside, because if you're hurt that.

816
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:23,400
Speaker 1: Bad, Susan, I have, let me just tell you, I

817
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:25,840
Speaker 1: have let go of all the resentment and I have

818
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 1: forgiven you for every transgression. Whatever I go on, Oh

819
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:36,840
Speaker 1: this is so for you, This is perfect. Money can

820
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:38,760
Speaker 1: buy happiness to an extent.

821
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:46,320
Speaker 2: Financial security and comfort ran significantly improve quality of life.

822
00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 2: Do you agreeerness, I mean, money makes it easier sometimes,

823
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:53,359
Speaker 2: but then you want bigger and better things, so it's

824
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:54,359
Speaker 2: not always that.

825
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:55,560
Speaker 1: That's a hard one.

826
00:44:56,000 --> 00:45:01,400
Speaker 2: Financial security and comfort can the quality of life.

827
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 1: It doesn't say it always does, but I think that

828
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:08,759
Speaker 1: is a no brainer. It absolutely can. And people who

829
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 1: have serious illnesses, you know, who have the financial means

830
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:17,520
Speaker 1: to excuse me, who are the financial means to fight

831
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:21,680
Speaker 1: that illness because they have that money, financial security. Can

832
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:25,919
Speaker 1: you know a lot of issues in marriage come over money. Yeah,

833
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 1: over money, So yeah, I think it absolutely can. All right,

834
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:34,280
Speaker 1: your partner doesn't have to be your best friend. Different

835
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:39,480
Speaker 1: relationships serve different purposes. It's okay if they're not your everything.

836
00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 1: I can tell you. For me, I love the concept

837
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:47,879
Speaker 1: of having a partner to be my best friend. That's

838
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 1: all I live for. But I don't. My husband and

839
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:54,279
Speaker 1: I were not best friends. We knew each other, but

840
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:58,520
Speaker 1: I had lots of girlfriends. Yeah, I can't, so I

841
00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 1: have never experienced that, have you. Hmm? I want my

842
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:05,960
Speaker 1: best friend. That's what I do too. I want like I.

843
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:07,960
Speaker 2: Look at Lottie and Ray and they're best friends and

844
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:10,920
Speaker 2: they both have friends outside the marriage. They're just they

845
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:13,399
Speaker 2: would like to have the perfect marriage to me, But well,

846
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:16,720
Speaker 2: excuse me, they have what the perfect marriage?

847
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:17,239
Speaker 1: No?

848
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:20,960
Speaker 2: They do not have said to me when I look

849
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:25,759
Speaker 2: at them as a couple, to me that it's perfect.

850
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:27,680
Speaker 2: They get along, they're fun together.

851
00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:28,400
Speaker 1: Okay.

852
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:32,760
Speaker 2: You don't owe anyone an explanation for your life choices.

853
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 2: Just because someone asks doesn't mean you need to explain

854
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:37,759
Speaker 2: yourself wholeheartedly.

855
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 1: Agree wholeheartedly? Yes, I mean if it's your husband or

856
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:46,120
Speaker 1: wife or partner asking you, yet you probably own an

857
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:49,600
Speaker 1: explanation other than that not feeling like chatting about it?

858
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:55,000
Speaker 1: All right, all right, you don't speak someone just because

859
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 1: your best friend does. People's conflicts are their own and

860
00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:02,080
Speaker 1: you can form your own opinions and relationship. Duh.

861
00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:07,160
Speaker 2: All right, well, well that was way more fun, then

862
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:08,360
Speaker 2: go ahead's say it.

863
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:14,480
Speaker 1: Kay. The game I'm seriously missing called Moral Quandary. I

864
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:17,160
Speaker 1: hope they bring it back soon. It was my favorite,

865
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:20,720
Speaker 1: but of course, you know, whatever Kathy wants, Susan gets. Okay,

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00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:25,400
Speaker 1: that does it for this episode.

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00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:28,880
Speaker 2: I think I got you that one so much better

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00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:33,760
Speaker 2: than Moral So everybody be sure to submit your questions

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00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 2: to us at Bachelor nation dot com s Last Golden Hour.

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00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:39,480
Speaker 1: Wait wait, Susan, could you ask them? Could we ask

871
00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:42,680
Speaker 1: people to please write in their votes? Do they want

872
00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:45,720
Speaker 1: to see more Moral Quandary or more yes? Please?

873
00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 2: Do people? Please agree with me. I'll come find you

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00:47:50,239 --> 00:47:52,319
Speaker 2: and thank you guys for listening to us. I hope

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00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 2: you're enjoying it as much as we are.

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00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 1: We love giving you advice, We love your comments, so

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00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:01,120
Speaker 1: please keep them coming, and in the meantime, we hope

878
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 1: you will listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on

879
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:08,279
Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, or wherever you listen to podcasts. See

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00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:09,960
Speaker 1: you next time, Take you to app