Speaker 1: Hand Me My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 1: So as I was perusing on the internet today, I
Speaker 1: saw something that said and it was old, it was
Speaker 1: posted a long time ago, but I saw something that
Speaker 1: I thought is a perfect description for like what the
Speaker 1: healing process kind of looks like in short, and it says,
Speaker 1: how do you find self love? You dig, you isolate,
Speaker 1: and you ache from being lonely, you heal, you accept,
Speaker 1: you look in the mirror and see God. And that
Speaker 1: came from an account on Instagram at Milan Dea Jean Claude,
Speaker 1: and I thought that it was beautiful and beautifully stated.
Speaker 1: And when you get to the place where you dig
Speaker 1: and you have isolated and you have ached from being lonely,
Speaker 1: and you start to heal, and you heal and you accept,
Speaker 1: and then you look in the mirror and you finally
Speaker 1: see God because you realize that God is in you.
Speaker 1: And if God is in me, please explain to me
Speaker 1: how anything is ever wrong or not perfect about me.
Speaker 1: It don't work like that. I can't see what's up, y'all.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Hand Me My Purse the podcast. I am
Speaker 1: Mimi Walker, and I will be here forever. Host each
Speaker 1: and every single time you tune into this podcast. So
Speaker 1: go ahead and get comfortable. Get yourself a glass of
Speaker 1: your favorite beverage, whether that's a glass of warm water
Speaker 1: with lemon, some tampico google it if you don't know
Speaker 1: what that is, or a glass of chardonnagg Go light
Speaker 1: yourself a candle, some incense, or burn some sage and
Speaker 1: just get ready to chill out and have a good time.
Speaker 1: What's up, friends and Ken, it's Resident Auntie Supreme here
Speaker 1: at handing my purse Mimi, And today I'm sipping on
Speaker 1: some room temperature filtered water from the sink. Yes, I
Speaker 1: have a filter on my sink. I'm not gonna say
Speaker 1: what brand it is because they're not paying for any
Speaker 1: ad space. They're not sponsoring this podcast, so I shan't say.
Speaker 1: But I'm sipping on a forty ounce of water and
Speaker 1: I'm drinking it from a dupe or a knockoff of
Speaker 1: the Stanley mug. Anyone who knows me knows that I
Speaker 1: am addicted, and I will say addicted. I am addicted
Speaker 1: to buying cups, bottles, anything that houses beverages. I'm addicted
Speaker 1: to liquid vessels that can hold liquid that you drink from.
Speaker 1: It's kind of my jam. My Starbucks cup collection is ridiculous,
Speaker 1: and I wanted to my hydro. I have so many
Speaker 1: hydro flasks, flasks, not flask. And I bought this Stanley
Speaker 1: dupe because I was gonna get the real one, but
Speaker 1: then I saw the dupes on Amazon. I was like,
Speaker 1: let me just get this. And then my little cousin
Speaker 1: Lindsay found some dupes in TJ max or Marshalls, and
Speaker 1: I just went and got one. However, I digress anyway,
Speaker 1: Like I was saying, I'm drinking water, and it's not
Speaker 1: cold water, it's not exciting water. It's just water. Because
Speaker 1: I am always on a quest to consume more quality
Speaker 1: H two O, and I don't drink enough of it.
Speaker 1: I just don't think I drink enough and I need
Speaker 1: to drink more, period. And guess what, I bet you
Speaker 1: five dollars that you need to drink more water too.
Speaker 1: So for today's jam, I dug in the crates a
Speaker 1: little bit and I chose one of my favorite songs
Speaker 1: to do car karaoke to. And it's funny. I mentioned
Speaker 1: my little cousin Lindsay because this is our jam maw
Speaker 1: okay and one day we're gonna take our act on
Speaker 1: the road. We definitely are a car karaoke duo that
Speaker 1: would win top notch awards. Shout out to my little cousin, Lindsay.
Speaker 1: But it is one of our jams and we used
Speaker 1: to sing it. She'll be twenty five this year. We
Speaker 1: used to sing it when she was in high school.
Speaker 1: I introduced her to this song and it is when
Speaker 1: I tell you, it's our jam, and it's so funny
Speaker 1: because you wouldn't expect a high school student to be
Speaker 1: singing this in the New Millennium, but you know, the
Speaker 1: girl's got good taste. So the song is by Freddie
Speaker 1: Jackson and it is called Jam Tonight. And just to
Speaker 1: give you an idea of how I come up with
Speaker 1: my jams for these episodes, I have a long list
Speaker 1: of songs that are part jams, but what happens is
Speaker 1: I rarely end up using them because when I'm preparing
Speaker 1: for episodes, while I'm sitting and working, I'm usually listening
Speaker 1: to music. And if I'm listening to music, in a
Speaker 1: song you know stands out or I want to play
Speaker 1: it over again, or it's like, ooh, this is my jam.
Speaker 1: Usually it's if I repeat the song or put the
Speaker 1: song on repeat, I'm like, yeah, this is the jam
Speaker 1: for this episode. So it's really organic. It's like, you know,
Speaker 1: it speaks to me, and so I go with it.
Speaker 1: So whilst I was in Starbucks working because that seems
Speaker 1: to be my new thing, I'm listening to my music
Speaker 1: with my headphones and this comes on and I start
Speaker 1: singing and I'm like, you can't do this in a
Speaker 1: public place, Mimi, You've got to calm down, okay. And
Speaker 1: so I'm like, this has to be the jam. And
Speaker 1: so I want to tell you another reason why I
Speaker 1: love this song so much is because it's so fun.
Speaker 1: It's so fun and so happy, and essentially Freddie Jackson
Speaker 1: is just saying like, don't you want to jam to night?
Speaker 1: Like don't you want to go out and have a
Speaker 1: good time? Like don't you want to have fun? And
Speaker 1: sometimes when I see people and they look sad, or
Speaker 1: I see people in there obviously in a space of
Speaker 1: misery or you know, just down or just not really
Speaker 1: in a space of gratitude or just grateful for well
Speaker 1: fuck grateful for their life. Because let's be real, like
Speaker 1: we should all be grateful, just to be breathing, but
Speaker 1: like people who are just in this constant space or
Speaker 1: even a temporary well, I'm gonna give you a break
Speaker 1: if it's temporary, but in this constant space of just
Speaker 1: negative energy, like don't you want to go have a
Speaker 1: good time? Like don't you want to do something fun?
Speaker 1: Don't you want to live a fun life? Because essentially
Speaker 1: that's what he's saying. He's like, let's go out, We're
Speaker 1: gonna go dance and teach me how to do this
Speaker 1: new dance. I'm gonna teach you how to do this
Speaker 1: new dance. And for me, it's just a fun song.
Speaker 1: And so uh the lyrics that I'm gonna read, he says,
Speaker 1: there's a new dance in town. Now, who could be
Speaker 1: sitting down? You've got to meet in time. The time
Speaker 1: must have tell you have got the beat. It's not
Speaker 1: too hard to keep once you start to jam. Oh, now,
Speaker 1: don't you want to jam tonight? Don't you want to
Speaker 1: jam tonight? It's real simple, like don't you want to
Speaker 1: jam tonight? So I want you to listen to the song.
Speaker 1: Maybe listen to it on a Saturday or when you're
Speaker 1: doing something like Saturday, because you know, most people clean
Speaker 1: up on Saturdays Saturday morning. But listen to it while
Speaker 1: you're driving, Listen to it while you're doing something that
Speaker 1: doesn't require a lot of thinking, because it's just a
Speaker 1: happy song. He's like, let's go out on the town.
Speaker 1: It's a new place to go out. This new club
Speaker 1: just opened up. Girl, Let's go out and have a
Speaker 1: good time. And so in the show notes, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: put the live version because the live version I liked that.
Speaker 1: He had a nice I think it's jakard is what
Speaker 1: I could thoroughly be butchering this word. But I'm pretty
Speaker 1: sure it's called jaquard or bricard. I don't know either way.
Speaker 1: I think it's jakard jaccai if we were singing in French.
Speaker 1: But it looked like your grandma couch or your grandmama
Speaker 1: curtains from the eighties, and it's like champagne and it's
Speaker 1: like embroidery. He has this jacket on. It's very nice.
Speaker 1: I really like it a lot. I'm gonna put the
Speaker 1: live version and i'm gonna put the album version. If
Speaker 1: you guys like it. If you don't, that's none of
Speaker 1: my business, because it is the jam for this episode
Speaker 1: and it's one of my faves. And if you don't
Speaker 1: like it, that's fine.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: And if you don't like Freddy Jackson, I don't really
Speaker 1: know which your deal is, because he is all of
Speaker 1: the joy that we all need. So I hope you
Speaker 1: guys enjoy the jam. Let's go ahead and get this
Speaker 1: party started. Really today, friends and ken, we are going
Speaker 1: to talk about something that is plaguing our world, plaguing
Speaker 1: the universe, and really exposing people's mental unwellness. And yes,
Speaker 1: that's a word. I thought I made it up, but
Speaker 1: something told me to just go look it up, and
Speaker 1: what do you know, it's a real deal word unwellness.
Speaker 1: Here's the definition. Unwellness denotes a state of being ill,
Speaker 1: but tends to suggest a lesser degree of ailment than
Speaker 1: would be indicated by the terms illness or sickness. So
Speaker 1: that just goes to show. But I say here that
Speaker 1: I do know some things without even knowing that I
Speaker 1: know somethings. So anyway, this episode is going to possibly
Speaker 1: make a few people a little upset, but at this
Speaker 1: point we know that I am not really concerned about that. Clearly,
Speaker 1: I'm not here to offend anybody that is never my intention.
Speaker 1: It's not what I want to do. But I want
Speaker 1: to hold us all accountable, including myself, and offending people
Speaker 1: is not my focus it I'm not rude to that extent.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, nor am I concerned with being malicious or
Speaker 1: desire to just go around offending people, especially people I
Speaker 1: don't know in real life, Like it's pointless. However, some
Speaker 1: things just need to be said out right. So I
Speaker 1: was laying in bed one night and my insomnia was
Speaker 1: on a trilliawn it was on a trillion and a
Speaker 1: good friend of mine sent me a video on Instagram
Speaker 1: of a woman sitting in her car sobbing. Really, my
Speaker 1: friend and I both share a disgust for these kind
Speaker 1: of videos because I don't understand what the fuck is
Speaker 1: it about, Like why are you doing this? And it's
Speaker 1: a bit egregious, And I mean, this woman was like
Speaker 1: weeping and on top of the crying, there were words.
Speaker 1: There was a sound, right, but it wasn't the sound
Speaker 1: of her crying. She's also done a voiceover on the
Speaker 1: video about why she was crying. So it's one thing
Speaker 1: to make a video of yourself sobbing with the sound
Speaker 1: of you crying and talking. It's another strategic thing to
Speaker 1: strategically ridiculous. I'll say thing to make a video of
Speaker 1: you crying, not have sound of the crying, but then
Speaker 1: you doing a voiceover over the crying. The crying is
Speaker 1: silenced of course, about why you were crying. And you know,
Speaker 1: God has blessed me with a serious spirit of discernment.
Speaker 1: And it was clear to me that this woman was
Speaker 1: really like pushing this cry out of her, like she
Speaker 1: was trying to give birth, and like, you know, just
Speaker 1: to be honest, like she was just she was acting
Speaker 1: at some point and she was I'm going to give
Speaker 1: her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she was sitting
Speaker 1: in her car and she was upset and she did
Speaker 1: start to cry at some point and then began to record.
Speaker 1: That could be so like, maybe that happened. I could
Speaker 1: totally see that happening. But some of those tears were
Speaker 1: not organic. Now, this show is not about that woman
Speaker 1: in particular. However, it's about doing the absolute most on
Speaker 1: good sister Kiki Palmer's Internet for attention. It sends me
Speaker 1: up a freaking wall, like I don't understan stand it
Speaker 1: at the hell all. It makes no sense to me.
Speaker 1: I don't get it. Well, I get people wanting to
Speaker 1: go viral, right, but I don't get people wanting to
Speaker 1: go viral. I also don't understand how people don't realize
Speaker 1: how silly it is, Like it's so ridiculous they look ridiculous.
Speaker 1: And the time you spend sitting in those behaviors and
Speaker 1: doing those things could be spent really getting to know
Speaker 1: who you actually are and not who you are pretending
Speaker 1: to be, and being a better you so that you
Speaker 1: can actually like your own damn self and not spend
Speaker 1: time trying to get millions of people who don't really
Speaker 1: give a damn about you at all to see you
Speaker 1: and like your posts. But anyway, again I digress. I
Speaker 1: want to discuss validation, in particular seeking external validation, like
Speaker 1: seeking external validation on the internet. So let's start by
Speaker 1: establishing that wanting to be validated and accepted is not
Speaker 1: a bad thing. It's a normal thing. It's a human thing,
Speaker 1: it's a human it's a natural human desire to want
Speaker 1: to be accepted and validated, valued, understood by your fellow humans. Period. However,
Speaker 1: the constant need to seek outside validation under no circumstances
Speaker 1: can that be healthy and some of us are on
Speaker 1: these internets daily looking for approval, validation, acceptance, and admiration
Speaker 1: and some emotion. So you know me, let's go on
Speaker 1: ahead and look at some of the root causes for
Speaker 1: this behavior, because we got to get to the root
Speaker 1: of it. Okay, So, as I was perusing the good
Speaker 1: internets preparing for this episode, I found something and it reads,
Speaker 1: if you don't feel accepted in your real life, you
Speaker 1: might search for validation online. Sometimes online communities can really
Speaker 1: help people, and sometimes they can make us feel even
Speaker 1: more alone. I also read this adverse childhood experiences and
Speaker 1: having low self esteem may influence why we seek approval.
Speaker 1: If you have a fragile sense of self worth, it
Speaker 1: can be hard to validate your own experiences, so you
Speaker 1: may feel the need to seek approval from others. Okay.
Speaker 1: Folks who tend to deal with feelings of insecurity, even
Speaker 1: if they don't overtly show it or they think that
Speaker 1: they do a good job of masking it, can and
Speaker 1: do seek out constant external validation, and ultimately they become
Speaker 1: addicted to the temporary high that they feel when they
Speaker 1: experience that false sense of validation from somewhere outside of
Speaker 1: themselves and the moment it takes away the weight of
Speaker 1: their feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, and they begin to
Speaker 1: feel like an immediate shift in their and their false
Speaker 1: sense where sense of self worth right. People who tend
Speaker 1: to deal with, or who have dealt with a lot
Speaker 1: of rejection in their life are also seeking to reverse
Speaker 1: those experiences. And to me, that is normal, as someone
Speaker 1: who has dealt with a lot of rejection and I
Speaker 1: mean rejection trauma like that, it's normal, like if you
Speaker 1: get a lot of adverse, if your trauma goes left,
Speaker 1: you want to pull it right. You want to pull
Speaker 1: a lot of right. You want to go right. I
Speaker 1: get that. Like I said before, it's human to desire
Speaker 1: to reverse your negative feelings and experiences. It's human to
Speaker 1: desire outside acceptance and admiration and validation from other people.
Speaker 1: I get that. However, we got to be realistic about
Speaker 1: how we go about doing that, because constantly looking for
Speaker 1: other people to make us feel good about ourselves and
Speaker 1: our existence, just our mere existence on this planet, it's
Speaker 1: not the answer long term, and to be quite honest,
Speaker 1: it's not sustainable. And this kind of behavior for some
Speaker 1: people can serve as a subconscious coping strategy for dealing
Speaker 1: with some serious mental health issues. And I mean, let's
Speaker 1: be honest, like it's not helping, it's not helping you
Speaker 1: at all. What in the world is that it's merely
Speaker 1: a distraction from what the real issue is that we're
Speaker 1: dealing with. It's the real it's a way to get
Speaker 1: away from what's really happening. And that's the fact that
Speaker 1: you need to get some professional help. Like I don't
Speaker 1: know how else to say it. Like, you know, if
Speaker 1: you are constantly looking for someone else to validate your beautiful,
Speaker 1: perfectly made in the eyes of God, human existence, you
Speaker 1: got to get some help to get to the root
Speaker 1: of why you are feeling this way. There are some
Speaker 1: serious mental health diagnoses that are associated with the constant
Speaker 1: need for external validation, and there are some that are
Speaker 1: not as heavy. But I am not a clinician, so
Speaker 1: I'm not going to get into that. Just get a
Speaker 1: therapist and see where you may fit on the mental
Speaker 1: health spectrum, because mental health is definitely a spectrum. It's
Speaker 1: not a monolith. All quote unquote crazy because people think
Speaker 1: that because you see a therapist or because you say, yes,
Speaker 1: I have some mental health issues I believe that we
Speaker 1: all everyone on this planet deals with mental health issues.
Speaker 1: And I think that mental health I view mental health
Speaker 1: as a spectrum and we are all somewhere on that spectrum,
Speaker 1: all of us. And I think it's important for us
Speaker 1: to address those issues when we are constantly going outside
Speaker 1: of ourselves to get the things that we need to
Speaker 1: sustain our joy, our piece, our freedom, our peace of mind,
Speaker 1: our happiness, our gratitude, being gentle and kind to ourselves.
Speaker 1: We need to go find out why we have a
Speaker 1: hard time with that period because those things should come
Speaker 1: natural for us, like realistically. And I've actually also heard
Speaker 1: of research done that states that validation from external sources
Speaker 1: can feed our dopamine. There are lots of studies that
Speaker 1: have been done about, particularly about social media and how
Speaker 1: likes and viral videos and feeling like feeling like you
Speaker 1: to men are feeling like you to shit online it
Speaker 1: feeds our need for that chemical dopamine. What is dopamine?
Speaker 1: Dopamine is the chemical that is released in our brain
Speaker 1: when we experience temporary pleasure. You know, dopamine is present
Speaker 1: in a lot of situations. I'm gonna read it again.
Speaker 1: What is dope? It's just the chemical that is released
Speaker 1: in our brain when we experience temporary pleasure. Use your imagination, friends,
Speaker 1: Dopamine is what goes off when the pleasure button is pushed. Okay,
Speaker 1: bing bang bing bing bing. That was my own little sample,
Speaker 1: bing bing bing, bing bing. That's what it sounds like
Speaker 1: when the pleasure button is pushed. I guess, bing bing
Speaker 1: bing bing bing. So, of course, anyway, think about it, Okay,
Speaker 1: when that pleasure button is pushed, we want more. You
Speaker 1: want more, You want more, more, more, more, more, more more.
Speaker 1: You know the little girl from that commercial. We really
Speaker 1: like it, so we want more, we want more. I
Speaker 1: kind of feel like with seeking that outside validation. Excuse me,
Speaker 1: there's also the desire and the need, and maybe it's
Speaker 1: a subconscious need and like I mean a strong need
Speaker 1: to feed our broken spaces, to feed the cracks inside
Speaker 1: of us that are caused by unaddressed trauma, sadness, loneliness,
Speaker 1: mental health, illness, like all those things. And when I
Speaker 1: talk about trauma, I mean all kinds of trauma, emotional trauma,
Speaker 1: sexual trauma, psychological trauma, psychological trauma. Just making sure I
Speaker 1: said that correctly, physical trauma, spiritual trauma, all the traumas,
Speaker 1: all the traumas. I am tired, and here's what I'm noticing.
Speaker 1: It sounds a lot like what people experience when they
Speaker 1: are dealing with addiction. Because let's just be real, you
Speaker 1: can be addicted to more than just cigarettes, crack pills, whiskey,
Speaker 1: lean or even sex, food, thrill seeking. Some people are
Speaker 1: addicted to risk taking, some people are addicted to money.
Speaker 1: You can be addicted to all kinds of things anything,
Speaker 1: and realistically, some of y'all are out here just straight
Speaker 1: up addicted to external valid from strangers. And if it
Speaker 1: sounds crazy, please be advised. The shit looks just as
Speaker 1: crazy as it sounds to people that are watching from
Speaker 1: the outside.
Speaker 2: Boom, ma'am, oh by, And let me just be clear,
Speaker 2: I'm not like, I'm not trying to judge nobody because
Speaker 2: I got you know, I got my shit, Like I'm
Speaker 2: never sitting up on a hill looking down judging nobody
Speaker 2: because I got some shit.
Speaker 1: Like some shit, and I'm not fully healed. I don't
Speaker 1: even believe that being fully healed is a thing. I
Speaker 1: think that healing is a journey. I do believe that
Speaker 1: there's a destination that we're all trying to get to.
Speaker 1: But the truth of the matters that we're not going
Speaker 1: to get there because you're going to forever be trying
Speaker 1: to heal whatever wounds you have inside. But I think that,
Speaker 1: you know, I want people to understand that the only
Speaker 1: way to heal us as a ashe umans, but more
Speaker 1: particularly in order for us to heal in our community,
Speaker 1: in the black community, is that we have to hold
Speaker 1: each other accountable, and we have to say shit that
Speaker 1: other people may not want to say, or other people
Speaker 1: may not want to hear. We got to say the
Speaker 1: shit that don't feel good, you know, And I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say it. That's it, And I just want you to
Speaker 1: know that I'm not saying it or I'm not coming
Speaker 1: from a place of judgment, because who am I to judge?
Speaker 1: As Andrew Caldwell says, who are me to judge? Who
Speaker 1: are me to judge? You know what I mean? I
Speaker 1: can't judge anybody because I got my own stank that
Speaker 1: I'm over here working on. So I just want to
Speaker 1: say that, and I want it to be known that
Speaker 1: I'm never I'm never showing up with an observation without
Speaker 1: a solution. People who come to the table with a
Speaker 1: lot of complaint and a lot of grumpy, negative, whiny
Speaker 1: whan why energy, particularly negative complaining energy, but never have
Speaker 1: any solutions or never have any ideas about how to
Speaker 1: get better at the thing that they're complaining about. Like,
Speaker 1: those are not the kind of people you want around you,
Speaker 1: because those people are stuck. Anyway, I just wanted to
Speaker 1: say that let's move forward. Okay, So how are we
Speaker 1: going to tackle dealing with the aforementioned feelings and with
Speaker 1: realizing that some of us could very well be addicted
Speaker 1: to external validation. First thing we need to do is
Speaker 1: going to be to examine our childhood experiences. What in
Speaker 1: the world is that we need to consider taking an
Speaker 1: inventory of the experiences of invalidation that maybe we have
Speaker 1: experienced in our lives throughout our childhood and even throughout adulthood.
Speaker 1: Because the truth of the matter is that as adults,
Speaker 1: we experience people being nasty to us. We experience rejection,
Speaker 1: oftentimes from people that we hold the dearest to our hearts,
Speaker 1: people that we love the most. We experience malicious or maltreatment,
Speaker 1: malicious treatment or maltreatment from people that we look up
Speaker 1: to or that we see in a certain light, and
Speaker 1: we have to heal those things too. Because people talk
Speaker 1: a lot about healing your childhood trauma, and I just
Speaker 1: mentioned examining your childhood experiences, but we also have to
Speaker 1: examine our adult experiences too. We can't disregard the fact
Speaker 1: that we experience trauma as adults too. And just because
Speaker 1: you're grown or you're an adult, or you pay your
Speaker 1: own bills, or you graduate from highschool or college and
Speaker 1: you got a driver's license or you got a good job,
Speaker 1: that don't mean that you don't have feelings. That doesn't
Speaker 1: negate the fact that you hurt and you feel pain
Speaker 1: and you experience trauma. So anyway, you want to ask
Speaker 1: yourself this question, did I feel invisible or like I
Speaker 1: was deprived of healthy attention and praise as a child.
Speaker 1: I'm going to also say, do I or are there
Speaker 1: times when I feel invisible or like I am deprived
Speaker 1: of healthy attention as an adult? And if so, in
Speaker 1: what ways? Then you want to consider how you may
Speaker 1: be able to give yourself the healthy praise and attention
Speaker 1: and validation, love and attention. If I set attention twice,
Speaker 1: sorry that you never received or that you feel you
Speaker 1: never received. Because the truth of the matter, is that
Speaker 1: you can say you never received it, you know, particularly
Speaker 1: as a child, because this happens a lot with parents.
Speaker 1: You can say, oh, you didn't do X Y for me,
Speaker 1: and your parent will say, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: I always did that. So your experience and your parent
Speaker 1: experience parents experience may not be the same, but whatever
Speaker 1: it is, you can't expect them to fix it for
Speaker 1: you today. You got to fix it for yourself. So
Speaker 1: figure it out for you. Next what you want to
Speaker 1: do or the next thing that you can do is
Speaker 1: you can use self care. You know, here we always
Speaker 1: talk about self care. Use self care to self validate, Okay,
Speaker 1: try replacing your excessive validation seeking behaviors and thoughts with
Speaker 1: some self soothing methods that work out for you, such
Speaker 1: as mindfulness practices, meditation, yoga, or whatever it is. You know.
Speaker 1: I say all the time that it's not all about
Speaker 1: textbook meditation. Meditation could be taken a long shower. Meditation
Speaker 1: could be going for a walk. Meditation could be going
Speaker 1: to the beach and listening to the waves. I just
Speaker 1: went to the beach last week, this last weekend. When
Speaker 1: I tell you it is something about me with sand
Speaker 1: it's funny because the sand really flares up my eggsama
Speaker 1: on my feet. I think I'm allergic to sand. But
Speaker 1: that's not the end there. But it's something about the
Speaker 1: water and like the ocean and seeing the water come
Speaker 1: up on the shore that really is meditative for me.
Speaker 1: You gotta figure out which your thing is. And I
Speaker 1: read this on the internet. It says a twenty eleven
Speaker 1: study found that eight weeks of mindfulness meditation could physically
Speaker 1: change the brain, increasing gray matter in area I don't
Speaker 1: even know what the hell that is, but whatever, increasing
Speaker 1: gray matter in areas of the brain related to decision making, empathy,
Speaker 1: and emotional regulation. Listen, emotional regulation. We all need some
Speaker 1: of that. I'm getting ready to get on an eight
Speaker 1: week mindfulness meditation practice just for emotional regulation. Practicing your
Speaker 1: meditations or your mindfulness may also help you to improve
Speaker 1: your self control when it comes to setting boundaries and
Speaker 1: making decisions that are aligned with what you really and
Speaker 1: truly want. I'm gonna say that again. Practicing meditation and
Speaker 1: mindfulness may help you to improve your self control when
Speaker 1: it comes time to set boundaries and make decisions that
Speaker 1: are aligned with what you truly want. Also, using positive
Speaker 1: affirmations can be used for self validation. I'm the queen
Speaker 1: of positive affirmations. I write them down, I put them up.
Speaker 1: I listen to podcasts about that, just say them over
Speaker 1: and over. I listen to songs people have turned. Let
Speaker 1: me tell you how black people are so awesome. I
Speaker 1: know some black folks that have some songs. They create songs,
Speaker 1: and they turn the songs into positive affirmations. We dope
Speaker 1: like that. And the funny part is that the song
Speaker 1: will be a whole bop and you'll be just saying
Speaker 1: the same thing. I am perfect, I am perfect, I
Speaker 1: am valid. Jamming not even realizing that you're affirming yourself.
Speaker 1: And what you want to do is you want to
Speaker 1: tailor your affirmations to whatever your specific needs are, because
Speaker 1: they shift and they change. Having a problem at work,
Speaker 1: you need some affirmations about work. Having a problem in
Speaker 1: your relationship, you need some affirmations about your relationship. Dealing
Speaker 1: with grief, need affirmations about grief. That's a good part.
Speaker 1: You can do whatever you want. Next, you need to
Speaker 1: learn how to practice. Now, you need to learn how
Speaker 1: to practice. You need to start practice saying no no.
Speaker 1: There's one way people pleasing and seeking validation can be
Speaker 1: a hard habit to break. I know because I deal
Speaker 1: with that. I deal with people pleasing because I've kind
Speaker 1: of been raised to be a people pleaser. I have,
Speaker 1: and it's it's especially hard when you have a fear
Speaker 1: of abandonment or when you have abandonment trauma. It's hard.
Speaker 1: Abandonment trauma and seeking external validation is definitely directly connected.
Speaker 1: But I'm telling you can get free of it. I
Speaker 1: know because I have now. I know you can, And
Speaker 1: you can start by practicing saying no to smaller requests
Speaker 1: before you move on to big stuff, because it can
Speaker 1: be scary when you have to tell somebody no, if
Speaker 1: you have some issues around abandonment or if you have
Speaker 1: abandonment trauma. And sometimes I still deal with that when
Speaker 1: it comes to people that I really love, are people
Speaker 1: I'm really close to. Sometimes I still deal with it,
Speaker 1: and I'm not ashamed to say it. I'm not at
Speaker 1: all because I ain't perfect. Shit, I'm not, but you
Speaker 1: got to learn how to do it. Sometimes I have
Speaker 1: to tell myself. I tell a really good friend of mine,
Speaker 1: no is a complete sentence. Somebody asks you to do
Speaker 1: something you don't want to do. No, that's the end
Speaker 1: of the sentence. No, well why not? I don't want
Speaker 1: to And you say that if you really like them,
Speaker 1: like if you really want to explain to them or
Speaker 1: tell them why you're not doing it, you can say
Speaker 1: that I don't want to do that, that's not something
Speaker 1: that I'm interested in doing. And what they gonna say
Speaker 1: like real shit though, because you know, as someone who
Speaker 1: is you know, still working through like people pleasing, like
Speaker 1: the fear of abandonment and abandonment trauma is a real thing.
Speaker 1: It's real and I live it daily, right, But I'm
Speaker 1: telling you, baby, when you get to the point where
Speaker 1: you can just say no, I don't want to do that,
Speaker 1: it's like in your mind you hear It's almost like
Speaker 1: you hear this like I did it, and it's okay
Speaker 1: to do it. And if somebody is going to leave
Speaker 1: you or walk away from you or treat you bad
Speaker 1: because you don't want to do something, like are they
Speaker 1: really for you? Like in real life? Are they really
Speaker 1: for you? If theyre going to walk away because you
Speaker 1: choose not to do something. Come on now, next thing,
Speaker 1: surround yourself with a nourishing network of support. Listen, look
Speaker 1: at your village, of current people and ask yourself these
Speaker 1: questions about them. Are they encouraging me? Are they supportive
Speaker 1: of me? Are they helpful? Or are they emotionally draining
Speaker 1: the fuck out of me? Where do I need to
Speaker 1: go to find people that I can connect with, that
Speaker 1: can provide me with the healthy emotional validation that I
Speaker 1: need because, as I said before, with the abandonment trauma
Speaker 1: and practicing saying no, listen, if being around y'all ain't
Speaker 1: working out for me, if when I tell you no,
Speaker 1: or I'm afraid to tell you no, or if me
Speaker 1: telling you no causes too much of a riff, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go somewhere else where. It ain't this hard. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go somewhere else where it ain't this stressful. And
Speaker 1: sometimes you got to do that. If you read my
Speaker 1: show notes every week. In the show notes, there's a
Speaker 1: quote that says, go where you are loved, not where
Speaker 1: you are tolerated. Get out of there, which brings me
Speaker 1: to my next point. Detach from invalidating people. I said
Speaker 1: it last week, detachment is a key element in freedom.
Speaker 1: I didn't say that exactly. I said detachment is key.
Speaker 1: I'm adding that this week. Detachment and learning to detach
Speaker 1: from things, from feelings, from people. Detachment is key in
Speaker 1: finding your freedom or getting to freedom, So you need
Speaker 1: to detach from people who invalidate you. When you find
Speaker 1: yourself seek in validation constantly from other people, stop and
Speaker 1: ask yourself if the person you're seeking validation from is
Speaker 1: a safe person who nourishes you, who nurtures you, who
Speaker 1: nourishes and nurtures your emotions and your spirit, or do
Speaker 1: they take advantage of you during times when you are
Speaker 1: your most vulnerable. Look at whether or not they have
Speaker 1: violated your boundaries in the past, and if they have,
Speaker 1: you need to connect with someone who is more supportive instead,
Speaker 1: or talk to a therapist, or take some time out
Speaker 1: alone for your self care, or do all three. How
Speaker 1: about that do all of them. Instead of seeking validation
Speaker 1: from other people, consider slowing down for a minute and
Speaker 1: just asking yourself what you need because really, you know,
Speaker 1: I've said this many times before. If you go back
Speaker 1: and listen to as Carla said, go back and listen
Speaker 1: to the catalog, you'll understand it's all about you. It's
Speaker 1: about what you need you first, because if you ain't right,
Speaker 1: how the hell you're going to be right for anybody else.
Speaker 1: So slow down and ask yourself what you need and
Speaker 1: find some more healthy, sustainable ways to provide yourself with
Speaker 1: the validation that you need. Stop looking for other people
Speaker 1: to do it. They'll owe you nothing. Only person that
Speaker 1: is word I owe you something is you and all
Speaker 1: in all, friends and ken. What I'm trying to say
Speaker 1: is the point that I'm making is that external validation
Speaker 1: may be desired in the moment for some instant gratification
Speaker 1: or to give you a quick ego boost if you
Speaker 1: feel you need that, but self validation, in building your
Speaker 1: own self worth and sense of value up is key
Speaker 1: to cultivating and maintaining healthy self esteem long term. It's
Speaker 1: not a temporary thing. It's not a shot of dopamine.
Speaker 1: This is long term joy, long term peace, long term happiness,
Speaker 1: and we need to be on that train. That's what
Speaker 1: we need to be looking for. Boom ma'am oh By
Speaker 1: the most important thing that we need to remember is
Speaker 1: that how you feel about you is going to teach
Speaker 1: other people how to treat you. How you treat you
Speaker 1: is teaching the world how to treat you. So if
Speaker 1: we are not taking the time out to love ourselves
Speaker 1: and treat ourselves with grace, kindness, and to be gentle
Speaker 1: with ourselves. We can't expect for anyone else to do
Speaker 1: so either. We need to foster healthy connections and a
Speaker 1: healthy view of ourselves because that's the only way to
Speaker 1: create long lasting positive feelings of self worth, to have
Speaker 1: a healthy view of your own value, because seeking outside
Speaker 1: of you, looking outside of ourselves is not going to
Speaker 1: fix our broken spaces. Trust me, Been there, done that,
Speaker 1: got a T shirt, got bleach on it, through it
Speaker 1: in the trash. If you are unsure by where to start,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm going to always have a link in
Speaker 1: the show notes to help guide you to where you
Speaker 1: can find a therapist in your area. So go on
Speaker 1: ahead and get hit them. Show notes up. Going to
Speaker 1: the show notes, because that's where that's where where it's at.
Speaker 1: We're gonna go to the show notes. You're gonna scroll
Speaker 1: down to where you see Mimi's jam in this case,
Speaker 1: Mimi's Jam number fifty six for this episode, and then
Speaker 1: under it a couple links. You gonna see a link
Speaker 1: where it tells you to find yourself a therapist. Click
Speaker 1: that link, put in your zip code, find yourself a therapist,
Speaker 1: and no psychology today. Ain't paying me to say none
Speaker 1: of this. I don't have no ads based on psychology today.
Speaker 1: They not giving me no checks. But I want us
Speaker 1: to heal. I don't even it. Ain't even about a check.
Speaker 1: I want black folks to get it together. I want
Speaker 1: all folks to get it together. If you want me
Speaker 1: to be honest, because shit, I'm gonna be sorry. If
Speaker 1: everybody get it together, maybe people will leave us the
Speaker 1: fuck alone. But we gotta get it together, Black folks, Okay,
Speaker 1: please do it for your ancestors and do it for yourself.
Speaker 1: Do it for the people that's coming after us. I
Speaker 1: love y'all, so friends and kN I'm gonna go ahead
Speaker 1: and get into the straight fast question because it's hot,
Speaker 1: it's kid and hid in here.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: The question comes from Hillary Jenkins of des Moines, Iowa. Listen,
Speaker 1: Come on, Hillary, you know good and well? Why you
Speaker 1: always line? Ain't nobody named Hillary Jenkins of the Moye, Iowa.
Speaker 1: Listen to this podcast. But it's all good. I love
Speaker 1: I love the names when we make the names up.
Speaker 1: I love it anyway. Ms Hillary says, should I be
Speaker 1: worried if my man asks me to use a dildo
Speaker 1: on him while having sex. Well really, so, I don't
Speaker 1: you know, there's only one answer for this for me
Speaker 1: in my mind, and the answer is for me, the
Speaker 1: answer is no, you shouldn't be worried because he's asking
Speaker 1: you to use it on him while you're having sex.
Speaker 1: So why would you be worried if he wants you
Speaker 1: to use it on him and not somebody else, So
Speaker 1: that should take your worry away. Say what you want
Speaker 1: to say, Hilary, you know, say it with your chest
Speaker 1: because we all know what you're trying to say, because
Speaker 1: we're smart here. And the answer to that question that
Speaker 1: the question that you won't directly ask is I don't
Speaker 1: know should you be worried? Does it make you uncomfortable?
Speaker 1: Because I can't answer that. If it makes you uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: then it makes you uncomfortable. In my mind, if it doesn't,
Speaker 1: because there are people who that kind of stuff doesn't
Speaker 1: it doesn't make them uncomfortable, And if it doesn't make
Speaker 1: them uncomfortable, then well it doesn't make them uncomfortable. Nobody
Speaker 1: should answer this question and say yes you should be worried,
Speaker 1: or know you shouldn't be worried, because the truth of
Speaker 1: the matter is that if you're worried, then you're worried,
Speaker 1: and if you're not worried, then you're not worried. But
Speaker 1: I can't answer that for you, Like I ain't that kind.
Speaker 1: I ain't about to be like girl, you should be
Speaker 1: concerned because because what goes on in my bedroom is
Speaker 1: not going to be what goes on in your bedroom.
Speaker 1: How I process information may not be the same way
Speaker 1: you process information and feelings and everybody the same way.
Speaker 1: I think mental health is a spectrum. I think that
Speaker 1: sexuality is a spectrum. And let's just be honest physiologically,
Speaker 1: the man's pleasure button, like it's in his butt, Like
Speaker 1: what the fuck? Like, let's just keep it a butt
Speaker 1: his What was the sound? I mean, dang, I can't
Speaker 1: even remember b B B bride bright, I don't remember
Speaker 1: what it was. I either way, I just feel like
Speaker 1: now it's a great time to do this. But like
Speaker 1: his pleasure button that you know, one of them, because
Speaker 1: we're humans and we're made up of all kinds of things.
Speaker 1: Like it's in his anus, it's it's up there. So
Speaker 1: if he wants you to use it on him, maybe
Speaker 1: that makes it. Maybe that feels good to him. And
Speaker 1: the truth of the matter is that most men won't
Speaker 1: ask you to do it because they think that that
Speaker 1: makes them gay. If you say you know, if you
Speaker 1: say that, but that's something you know, that's their business.
Speaker 1: They got to figure that out. But if you're not uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: then don't be uncomfortable. And if you're worried about people
Speaker 1: judging him, here's a tip. Don't tell people what you
Speaker 1: do in your bedroom. Sis. That's part of y'all problem.
Speaker 1: Y'all talk too much about your personal business. Don't tell people.
Speaker 1: And know that doesn't mean that I use a dialdo
Speaker 1: on men when I have sex, or that men I've
Speaker 1: dated men, or I've had sex with men who've asked me.
Speaker 1: That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is is
Speaker 1: strictly that if you want to do it, or if
Speaker 1: you're not uncomfortable with it, then do it. If you
Speaker 1: are uncomfortable, then don't do it. But at least he
Speaker 1: asks you. At least he didn't go ask somebody else
Speaker 1: to do it. So that just goes to show for
Speaker 1: me that he feels a sense of comfort with you
Speaker 1: and he doesn't mind, you know, being vulnerable with you.
Speaker 1: If you want to do it? Do a girl, do it,
Speaker 1: knock yourself out, have fun, and I hope he likes it. Shoot,
Speaker 1: if he likes it, I hope you like it too, though,
Speaker 1: because don't nobody want to be doing nothing in the
Speaker 1: bedroom and one person like it and the other one don't.
Speaker 1: That is never fun ever gone Girl, Live your best
Speaker 1: life by Friends in King. The text for today's we
Speaker 1: Got to Do Better segment is from a book that
Speaker 1: I purchased a few years ago at a pop up
Speaker 1: shop at KSM Candle Company here in Baltimore. Shout out
Speaker 1: to KSM Candle Company and My Girl Letter. So I
Speaker 1: got the book because the title caught my attention And
Speaker 1: the title of the book is the Book of Tiny Prayers,
Speaker 1: and it's really a journal with amazing quotes and writing prompts,
Speaker 1: and it's written by a sister from DC. Her name
Speaker 1: is Reagan Gabrielle Mathis, and I referenced this book before
Speaker 1: on the show, maybe more than once, because it's so
Speaker 1: damn good. I ended up eventually meeting Reagan one day
Speaker 1: in KSM Candle Company after a few Instagram interactions. She
Speaker 1: came in and I happened to be there and her
Speaker 1: Ara really radiated power and positivity and understanding, and she
Speaker 1: actually ended up being a guest on the show. I
Speaker 1: want to say it was the show that was the
Speaker 1: wrap up for season one of Handing My Purse, which
Speaker 1: might be episode number seventeen or eighteen. It might be
Speaker 1: episode eighteen. And it was really great having her be
Speaker 1: a part of such a pivotal moment for me and
Speaker 1: for this show, when I closed the first phase or
Speaker 1: the first leg of this journey for me and the
Speaker 1: first leg of the journey for Handing My Purse. It
Speaker 1: was really awesome to have her on, to have someone
Speaker 1: on who I referenced their work and then they were
Speaker 1: able to be a guest on the show. And she
Speaker 1: says such beautiful things about the show and about the
Speaker 1: work that I'm doing, and I really appreciated that. And
Speaker 1: it's amazing how, you know, God allows things to unfold
Speaker 1: for us when we just trust God's process. Oh, let
Speaker 1: me tell you how good this book is. I paint,
Speaker 1: and when I paint, it is a part of like
Speaker 1: it's a mental health cope and strategy for me. When
Speaker 1: I'm really feeling out of whack or imbalance, I will
Speaker 1: pull out my paint brushes and my paint. I will
Speaker 1: lay my top down and I will get to work.
Speaker 1: I have like three or four unfinished pieces pieces, excuse me.
Speaker 1: And my apartment is kitted out with like five pieces
Speaker 1: that I've painted. I've given my cousin Christian like three
Speaker 1: or four pieces. My cousin Lindsay has a piece. My
Speaker 1: cousin Daryl has a piece. I can't. I have two
Speaker 1: pieces in KSM Candle Company. Shout out to KSM Candle
Speaker 1: Company in Baltimore City. My friend Schanise has a piece
Speaker 1: up in her house. Like I paint and sometimes people
Speaker 1: like it right, but I really just paint to get
Speaker 1: it out. It's like I'm getting something out and off
Speaker 1: of me. This book is so good that because Reagan
Speaker 1: is also a mixed media artist and she has up
Speaker 1: on her Instagram like ways that she has like decorated
Speaker 1: her journal, and so I was inspired by that, and
Speaker 1: I took some pages from the book The Book of
Speaker 1: Tiny Prayers and used them in a mixed media piece
Speaker 1: for myself and I have it up in my bedroom
Speaker 1: and it's a really important piece to me. So I'm
Speaker 1: just telling you that to tell you that it's really
Speaker 1: like it's a beautiful piece of work. The sad part,
Speaker 1: friends in Ken, is that I'm pretty sure the book
Speaker 1: is sold out and out of print, and it has
Speaker 1: been for a while. Oh man. But this is why
Speaker 1: it's important to get things when you see them if
Speaker 1: they speak to your spirit. And that's what I did.
Speaker 1: You got to get stuff when you see it because
Speaker 1: you never know when you won't see it again. Maybe
Speaker 1: if you send her a message or something, maybe maybe
Speaker 1: the book will come back. Pray. Why don't you say
Speaker 1: a little tiny prayer, maybe the book will come back.
Speaker 1: I'm going to link in the show notes the link
Speaker 1: to the book, just so that you could see it. However,
Speaker 1: it's definitely sold out, friends and kN so stop playing
Speaker 1: with time. Things won't always be there. And that is
Speaker 1: a lesson for me as i'm talking to you about that.
Speaker 1: But let's go on to the text. This excerpt is
Speaker 1: called the Good Steward. It says, once I found more
Speaker 1: of myself, once I found my passion, I was less lonely.
Speaker 1: Once I found out what I loved, there was less
Speaker 1: time for longing. Fill yourself with the good, nourish yourself,
Speaker 1: take care of you, be good to yourself, be kind
Speaker 1: and loving to yourself. A good steward takes care of
Speaker 1: all that God has given us, beginning with ourselves. If
Speaker 1: that ain't all types of beautiful men, I don't know
Speaker 1: what the hell is that was beautiful man? I might
Speaker 1: go ask her, girl, can you bring this book back?
Speaker 1: Because more people need it? It's so good? All right,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm stop rubbing it in forens again. The
Speaker 1: first thing that I want to do is say thank
Speaker 1: you to God, because God is supreme and I recognize
Speaker 1: and appreciate the grace, the mercy, the empathy, the understanding
Speaker 1: that God extends my way every single day and my
Speaker 1: black ass life. I want to say thank you to
Speaker 1: my folk, to my people, the people, my tribe, my village,
Speaker 1: the people who have been rocking with me ever since
Speaker 1: day one, since March the first of twenty twenty listening.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I appreciate you. You are in my heart.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you guys for being here. And if you
Speaker 1: just started listening today, or if you just started listening
Speaker 1: on June thirteenth when I launched on iHeart, I thank
Speaker 1: you for that as well. I'm happy for you to
Speaker 1: be here. I'm so grateful. Either way, I'm just glad
Speaker 1: that you're here now, even if you just started listening today.
Speaker 1: I'm glad. I'm grateful. I'm thankful for my family. I'm
Speaker 1: thankful for my friends, my friends and ken, all my supporters,
Speaker 1: and of course, most importantly, every single one of you
Speaker 1: guys out there listening right now. I love each of
Speaker 1: you so much, and it's nothing short of an honor
Speaker 1: for me to share my time and my energy with you,
Speaker 1: especially if you keep coming back to spend time with me,
Speaker 1: and I'll look forward to the next time that we
Speaker 1: get to do this with one another. Now, before you
Speaker 1: exit out of whatever streaming service you're using, the listen
Speaker 1: to this podcast, stop what you're doing, and if you
Speaker 1: haven't already done so, look for the subscribe or follow button.
Speaker 1: Click on it if it's an option for you on
Speaker 1: the streaming service where you're listening. Next, head on over
Speaker 1: to Instagram and follow me at Handy My Purse Underscore Podcast.
Speaker 1: Also follow me on Twitter at HMMP Underscore podcast, and
Speaker 1: on Facebook just search hand Me my Purse podcast. And
Speaker 1: now there's a new thing. It's called threads, and it's
Speaker 1: basically Instagram's Twitter. If you go over to Instagram and
Speaker 1: follow me and hand me my purse. You'll see a
Speaker 1: little number and my profile. Click on that, it'll take
Speaker 1: you to my threads profile. Follow me there due because
Speaker 1: who doesn't want to hear my random streams of consciousness?
Speaker 1: And if you listen on the streaming service or medium
Speaker 1: that will allows you to do so. Please don't make
Speaker 1: me beg y'all. Okay, but I ain't too proud to beg. Okay,
Speaker 1: please take two minutes out to rate and review the
Speaker 1: show or give your thumbs up if you've got some time.
Speaker 1: And I know you got two minutes because you go
Speaker 1: to the bathroom, take your phone in the bathroom and
Speaker 1: review my show. Okay, go let you listen to it.
Speaker 1: And I know you listening, and you listening all over
Speaker 1: the world. I implore you. Matter of fact, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: implore all the people who listen in Canada go review
Speaker 1: my show please, and you listen in Canada, because I
Speaker 1: see it. I'm gonna give a shout out to Canada today. Today.
Speaker 1: The shout out is for Canada. Where are we at?
Speaker 1: Where are we at? Shout out to my listeners in
Speaker 1: Canada today, All of my Canadian friends in can go
Speaker 1: over to Apple Podcasts or stitch here if you listen there,
Speaker 1: and leave me a review. If you're not listening on
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts or Stitcher, go to answer AMSWERDAMMP. Go over
Speaker 1: to Instagram and leave me a comment about how much
Speaker 1: you like the show. If you don't want to be public,
Speaker 1: send me a DM. I want some feedback. I want
Speaker 1: to hear what you got to say, unless you're gonna
Speaker 1: say something mean, because I don't have time for that. Okay,
Speaker 1: moving forward, Friends and Kim, be sure to share hanm
Speaker 1: Me My Purse with your friends, your loved ones, and
Speaker 1: even your enemies. Because the best way for people to
Speaker 1: find out about the show is by you guys telling
Speaker 1: them all about it. So tell a friend boom to
Speaker 1: tele a friend boom to tell a friend. I want
Speaker 1: you to submit your questions for the straight Fact segment
Speaker 1: to Hello at Hanmymipurse dot com with the subject line
Speaker 1: straight Facts, or feel free to send me a DM
Speaker 1: on Instagram or Twitter. Who knows your question may be
Speaker 1: featured on an upcoming show. Recently, I put a link
Speaker 1: or a button. There's a link in my what am
Speaker 1: I saying? There's a link in my Instagram profile? And
Speaker 1: it'll take you to where you can see where you
Speaker 1: can listen. And in those buttons or links, there should
Speaker 1: be a button for you to submit a question to
Speaker 1: stray facts. Submit a question, go on to the profile,
Speaker 1: click on the link and go on down and find it.
Speaker 1: Submit a question and your question could be the very
Speaker 1: next question featured on an upcoming show. Also, I want
Speaker 1: you to remember that show notes are always available in
Speaker 1: the episode description. Also, be sure to take a look
Speaker 1: at the show notes because that's where I put all
Speaker 1: of the links and all the other information that I
Speaker 1: mentioned during the show that you might want to check out,
Speaker 1: in addition to some stuff that I just want to
Speaker 1: share with you. Also, just so you know, the music
Speaker 1: that you hear on Handing my Purse has been created
Speaker 1: by none other than West Baltimore's own Gloomy Tunes Friends. Again,
Speaker 1: I want you to know one thing. I look forward
Speaker 1: to you looking forward to listening to Handing my Purse
Speaker 1: the podcast each and every Tuesday, and I'm off this bitch. Peace.
Speaker 1: Hand Me my Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 1: For more shows from iHeart Podcasts, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,