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Speaker 1: This is the Intergalactic John. This is Airlien Salm on

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Speaker 1: the International Oka Storytime podcast station, and we have some

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Speaker 1: human stories coming up, not alien, but before we make

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Speaker 1: a landing, stick around for this two minute not alien

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Speaker 1: ad break before we get to these interstellar stories.

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Speaker 2: My family's double wedding is filled with drama. It strained

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Speaker 2: our bond, double trouble. That's what I always say. That's

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Speaker 2: what I say too. This all happened about eight years ago,

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Speaker 2: yet this still lives in my head. Rent Free, I'm

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Speaker 2: turning twenty nine soon. My mom and my stepdad, mom's

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Speaker 2: third husband, were off to Dollywood, and I knew that

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Speaker 2: he was going to propose to her, as he was

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Speaker 2: a bit of a loud speaker. I was in college

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Speaker 2: and was more focused on my studies more than whatever

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Speaker 2: my mom or my sister chose to do with their lives.

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Speaker 2: So we all mostly kept to ourselves, but we still

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Speaker 2: had an amicable relationship where we could chat. So imagine

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Speaker 2: my surprise when out of nowhere, my sister just plops

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Speaker 2: a pregnant test right on my laptop, right on your laptop.

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Speaker 2: I'm gross, exciting, exciting though, By the way, this comes

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Speaker 2: from enraged, Aaron and if you want to spit your

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Speaker 2: own stories, go to our slash shokey story time supped it.

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Speaker 2: So I look at her. Then I look back at

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Speaker 2: the pregnancy test, and a million thoughts were running through

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Speaker 2: my mind, but the loudest ones were, okay, a pregnancy test.

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Speaker 2: She wouldn't buy one unless she thought she was pregnant.

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Speaker 2: Then when I took a closer look at the test,

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Speaker 2: it was a super faint positive. Could that be a positive?

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Speaker 2: Is she wanting me to confirm? Without saying words, she said, yes,

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Speaker 2: I need you to confirm. Does that say what I

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Speaker 2: think it says? Yes, that'll be That's a faint positive,

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Speaker 2: but it is a positive. Right at that moment, my

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Speaker 2: phone rang and it was my mom. Mom never calls

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Speaker 2: me when and she's on a date with my stepdad,

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Speaker 2: so I knew it was either an emergency or more likely,

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Speaker 2: he's popped the question. The second I answered the I

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Speaker 2: had to yank it away from my years as my

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Speaker 2: mom started excitedly screaming about how my stepdad had proposed

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Speaker 2: to mom on the top of the Ferris Peel in Dollywood.

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Speaker 2: My sister took that moment to announce the positive pregnancy test,

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Speaker 2: and all I could say is, holy crap. Thank god

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Speaker 2: the Mike auto dampened screams of a certain pitch because

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Speaker 2: I'm sure my stepdad was tone deaf from her shriek.

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Speaker 2: Big day for this family, true big minute. Yeah. So,

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Speaker 2: not only did my mom get proposed to, she was

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Speaker 2: gonna be a grandmother, something she always wanted, all on

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Speaker 2: the same day. Wow, that's so sweet. Sounds adorable and

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Speaker 2: almost like out of a child's dream. Right. Well, pull

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Speaker 2: the seat, grab a drink or a smoke or whatever

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Speaker 2: you prefer, and get comfortable. Some needed context. I've been

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Speaker 2: to a wedding prior to the ones I had ended

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Speaker 2: up attending my mom's second wedding and ended up fielding

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Speaker 2: a lot of those responsibilities as a result. My mom

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Speaker 2: and I often joked, but how I was one of

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Speaker 2: the best wedding planner she could have asked for, since

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Speaker 2: I made sure she got the bare minimum of what

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Speaker 2: she wanted and kept her from collapsing from stress. Now

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Speaker 2: with that in mind, it's easy to see where this

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Speaker 2: all ends up. At first, my mom had asked my

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Speaker 2: aunt to help her with the wedding planning so I

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Speaker 2: could focus on my studies. My aunt agreed, but she

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Speaker 2: never really ended up following through with even simple phone calls.

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Speaker 2: My mom asked me to help her with the wedding

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Speaker 2: planning after multiple failed attempts to reach my aunt. A

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Speaker 2: simple church style wedding with blue and silver accents throughout

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Speaker 2: the decor, nothing gaudy her words. She also asked me

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Speaker 2: to find ideas for a tractor cake to give to

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Speaker 2: a cousin who was willing to bake the cake. Sound

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Speaker 2: simple enough, I wouldn't have to handle much other than

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Speaker 2: communicating specifically what her desires were and running it by

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Speaker 2: her first if she liked something. During all of this,

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Speaker 2: my stepsister started showing up more often. This was weird

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Speaker 2: since ever since my stepdad had started dating my mom

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Speaker 2: to years prior to the engagement, she almost never came

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Speaker 2: around to visit her father. When my sister came into

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Speaker 2: the room during one of their visits, the topic of

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Speaker 2: my sister's pregnancy came up. It wasn't long until my

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Speaker 2: stepsister told him that she was getting married to her

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Speaker 2: boyfriend of two years. He was beyond excited that his

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Speaker 2: daughter was getting married, but what threw me was the

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Speaker 2: almost immediate volunteering of me to help with their wedding.

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Speaker 2: While planning my mother's wedding, I somehow got roped into

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Speaker 2: being my stepsister's djay all because I knew how to

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Speaker 2: work a stereo system and a laptop to boost audio.

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Speaker 2: So began to the wedding of my stepsister first. My

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Speaker 2: stepsister wanted a barn wedding, complete with a horse in

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Speaker 2: the stable, which wasn't part of the regular plan, but

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Speaker 2: went along with it. Hay bales for seats with quilts

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Speaker 2: over top, and lights strung throughout the tall rafters hanging

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Speaker 2: down to create an ambient light when the sun began

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Speaker 2: to set. Our goal was to assemble the entire barn

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Speaker 2: to thirty guests, complete with catering and a private DJ

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Speaker 2: booth for me to make sure the audio got out there.

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Speaker 2: The booth was a horse tall that smelled beyond horrid,

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Speaker 2: and the sound that came out of the speakers would

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Speaker 2: bounce back into the room. Oh gosh, there was nothing

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Speaker 2: to be done. After countless attempts to move the speaker

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Speaker 2: so I wouldn't go deaf, The plan was for me

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Speaker 2: to stay in the booth and get the music started

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Speaker 2: during the wedding procession, a loop for the reception, and

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Speaker 2: a special dancing list at the end. The last bit

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Speaker 2: of business was choosing a dress for me to wear,

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Speaker 2: which she had chosen a maroon and black gothic style

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Speaker 2: dress for me to wear. I didn't argue and wore

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Speaker 2: what the bride told me to wear, and personally it

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Speaker 2: was a nice looking dress. So far, everything seems okay.

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Speaker 2: This is so far, so far, everything's okay. I have

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Speaker 2: a feeling this is the calm, so right. A day

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Speaker 2: of the wedding comes around, It's a hot summer day,

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Speaker 2: and with an hour before guests arrive, I'm always I'm

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Speaker 2: already feeling the force of that heat just beating down

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Speaker 2: on me, even more so since I was wearing a

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Speaker 2: wig and the dark colored dress that the bride wanted.

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Speaker 2: What As soon as I arrived, I was ushered into

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Speaker 2: the booth by my stepsister's aunt telling me that the

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Speaker 2: speaker was I working and fix it. All I had

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Speaker 2: to do was put the phone on a charger and

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Speaker 2: it was fine. I ran a few audio tests, going

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Speaker 2: all the way to the altar and back to make

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Speaker 2: sure the music was hitting everywhere is planned, then went

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Speaker 2: back time for the procession, I play the music as

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Speaker 2: planned and dim it down. Once the bride gets to

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Speaker 2: the altar, I go to step out from the booth

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Speaker 2: to stand at the door to wait for my next queue,

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Speaker 2: only to be pushed back into the stall and told

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Speaker 2: that the bride wants me to stay in there. From

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Speaker 2: where the booth was located, I can't see the bride

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Speaker 2: at all or really hear the actual ceremony itself. That's

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Speaker 2: so rude what I'm why would you even want that? However,

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Speaker 2: what I could hear was if there are any objections,

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Speaker 2: speak now or forever hold your piece. And right at

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Speaker 2: that moment, the horse that was in the stall next

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Speaker 2: to the altar decided to unload a full pile right

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Speaker 2: there well with proud and loud volume. Think loud horse fart.

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Speaker 2: And that's what I heard from where I was standing.

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Speaker 2: Whereas the bride got to hear all the detail, the priest,

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Speaker 2: without missing a beat, said thank you, Stella. They are

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Speaker 2: now pronounced, and I'm to play them off then switch

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Speaker 2: to the party music. As soon as I go to

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Speaker 2: leave the booth again, I'm once more pushed back into

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Speaker 2: the booth. Yet they don't they don't want you to

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Speaker 2: actually join the party. They just want to work paying you.

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Speaker 2: They better be I'm told quite sternly to stay in

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Speaker 2: the booth. My mom and my stepdad had already gone

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Speaker 2: back to the main area to eat with the other guests. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 2: I'm sitting there wondering if I'm able to get up

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Speaker 2: and get a plate. The aunt was nowhere in sight,

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Speaker 2: and I wasn't going to trouble the bride, so I

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Speaker 2: just sat there for two hours. Why didn't your parents

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Speaker 2: get you a plate? Yeah, you got other family members

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Speaker 2: there right now. Something I end up forgetting a lot

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Speaker 2: until it happens is that I tend to have low

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Speaker 2: sugars if I don't eat small meals throughout the day.

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Speaker 2: I'm not diabetic, but this is what my body tends

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Speaker 2: to do. Me too, girl, me too. You got to

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Speaker 2: keep an eye on that, because that's what I have

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Speaker 2: to do. No, I hadn't eaten since before even showing

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Speaker 2: up to the barn, so I'm sitting in the booth

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Speaker 2: sweating my butt off. Oh and I as a person

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Speaker 2: who gets both heat stroke and also like I pass

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Speaker 2: out to the heat stroke and pass out from not eating.

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Speaker 2: Of this is a combination for you about to pass out,

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Speaker 2: and slowly started to lose grip on reality. By the

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Speaker 2: time my mom and stepdad had noticed that I wasn't

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Speaker 2: at the table. They finally checked in on me at

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Speaker 2: the booth two hours after the wedding ceremony had ended.

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Speaker 2: What is this like? I'm sorry if I was in

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Speaker 2: the booth, if I was being treated like this.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Immediately texting my parents being like, guys, I'm about to

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Speaker 2: pass out. I don't know. They keep telling me I'm

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Speaker 2: not allowed to leave this booth.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, like does no one? Did no one plan on

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Speaker 4: socializing with op Yeah, the whole.

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Speaker 2: Wad and like your parents family think about you once

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Speaker 2: for two hours? Yeah, that's crazy. I was drowsy, essentially

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Speaker 2: deaf from the reverberating of the speakers, and just so

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Speaker 2: frickin hungry. My mom sent my stepdad to go to

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Speaker 2: the catering tables, only to find out there was no

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Speaker 2: food left for me.

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Speaker 1: Oh.

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Speaker 2: They managed to ask me if I had anything to

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Speaker 2: eat or drink at all since being back there, and

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Speaker 2: all I could do was shake my head no. I

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Speaker 2: set the music to dance music and told the bride

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Speaker 2: I had to leave. She told me it was rude

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Speaker 2: to leave early, to which my mom explained that I

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Speaker 2: was having a low sugar and we have no food,

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Speaker 2: so I need to go home before we needed an ambulance.

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Speaker 2: The ride home was mostly a blur, other than them

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Speaker 2: stopping off at McDonald's and getting me a small meal.

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Speaker 2: A few months go by, my nephew was born and

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Speaker 2: my mom and stepdad are getting married. Well, nothing really

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Speaker 2: eventful happened, other than the fact my mom deliberately put

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Speaker 2: waterproof makeup on my face, knowing I hate wearing that stuff.

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Speaker 2: I spent three days trying to get that stuff off,

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Speaker 2: all while accidentally giving myself raccoonize. Naw No, So what

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Speaker 2: makes my mom's wedding so eventful is that a month

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Speaker 2: prior to my mom's wedding, my stepsister told us that

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Speaker 2: she was pregnant. It wasn't until she announced her pregnancy

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Speaker 2: that I noticed some shifting in my sister and brother

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Speaker 2: in law's relationship. If you still have that drink or

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Speaker 2: smoke nearby, now would be the time to partake, for

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Speaker 2: I will too. In retelling this, when I tell you

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Speaker 2: that my family's life can easily be mistaken for some

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Speaker 2: sort of TV drama. I'm not kidding and am fully

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Speaker 2: aware of how far fetched this all sounds, but believe me,

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Speaker 2: nothing can make me want to make this stuff up.

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Speaker 2: First bit of context, tea. My brother in law came

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Speaker 2: up to me and confessed, prior to the pregnancy announcement,

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Speaker 2: that he was beginning to have second thoughts about his

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Speaker 2: relationship with my sister. I told him that his decision

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Speaker 2: is ultimately up to him, and that I won't hold

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Speaker 2: anything against him if he leaves, as long as it

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Speaker 2: wasn't something I should be angry at, like cheating or

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Speaker 2: getting physical now. The day after my mom's wedding, while

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Speaker 2: I was still at my sister and brother in law's place,

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Speaker 2: they had a little argument. In the argument, my brother

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Speaker 2: in law asked my sister pointedly if she had baby

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Speaker 2: trapped him into the marriage. My sister said nothing. She

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Speaker 2: just turned around and locked herself in her room, and

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Speaker 2: I just sat there trying my dangdis to not eavesdrop

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Speaker 2: on that conversation. But when you do it right in

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Speaker 2: front of someone at screaming volume, that could be a

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Speaker 2: little hard. I kept my opinions to myself, but later

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Speaker 2: heard my sister say to her, now, former friend that

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Speaker 2: she had indeed baby trapped him because she was afraid

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Speaker 2: he would leave her. Wow, she admitted it. If you're wondering, Yes,

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Speaker 2: the friend did stop being friends with my sister because

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Speaker 2: of that. Yeah. Context te number two. In the time

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Speaker 2: period between my stepsister's wedding and my nephew's birth, my

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Speaker 2: stepsister got pregnant herself. Okay, so many babies, A lot

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Speaker 2: of babies. She had been mostly radio signed about the

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Speaker 2: pregnancy other than the announcement she made when she came

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Speaker 2: to our house one day. Upon coming home, I found

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Speaker 2: out something about my stepsister that even upset her father,

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Speaker 2: but not as much as he should have been. My

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Speaker 2: stepsister had isolated me on her wedding day on purpose.

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Speaker 2: She thought that I would end up stealing the spotlight

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Speaker 2: with my bad health and that apparently I and that

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Speaker 2: I apparently had when I went home due to low

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Speaker 2: blood sugar and deafness for three days. Okay, you need

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Speaker 2: to stand up for yourself. If you're going deaf and

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Speaker 2: also feeling you're gonna pass out, just leave, you know. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: Like at a certain point, the people pleasing has to

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Speaker 2: be put underneath the I'm literally gonna pass out and

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Speaker 2: my health is at risk. Gotta look out for your

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Speaker 2: house safety. Like as a person who gets like saying

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Speaker 2: things happened to me. Yeah, like when I was younger,

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Speaker 2: this would happen. It would happen a lot more because I,

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Speaker 2: you know, I wouldn't make sure that I was checking

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Speaker 2: in on myself. But now I know what the signs

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Speaker 2: are and I know that. You know, I got to

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Speaker 2: make sure I'm drinking water on hot days, I have

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Speaker 2: snacks on hot days and stuff. So that's just my

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Speaker 2: kind of I'm not a big sister, but this is

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Speaker 2: my big sister. You have to take care of yourself.

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Speaker 2: She also intentionally got pregnant after my sister hit the

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Speaker 2: three month mark because she was jealous of both my

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Speaker 2: sister and I getting attention from her father. He was

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Speaker 2: upset that she had felt that way, but did nothing

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Speaker 2: in the way of telling her that the way she

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Speaker 2: had acted was wrong. The relationships between my family are

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Speaker 2: rather strained, but they won't admit it. We only communicate

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Speaker 2: on the behalf of my of my niece, stepsister's side,

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Speaker 2: and my nephew. We don't talk to each other except

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Speaker 2: during difficult times like during twenty twenty or when there

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Speaker 2: were major family announcements like a wedding or holiday. Personally,

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Speaker 2: given the TV show drama that my family causes, it's

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Speaker 2: for the better that way. Although I am sad I

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Speaker 2: won't see the tea as much anymore and only get

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Speaker 2: it through secondhand information. I almost forgot to mention that

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00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:06,360
Speaker 2: my stepsister was fully aware of my health conditions, yet

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Speaker 2: she insisted on putting me in the conditions that were there,

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Speaker 2: even with subtle warnings like this room is a bit hot,

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Speaker 2: do you think it's safe for me? As for the

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Speaker 2: food situation, I just think nobody cared to think to

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Speaker 2: look for me, considering I am an adult, and she

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Speaker 2: was content with that, even if it meant I felt

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Speaker 2: like utter dog crap afterwards from low sugar.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's that's a moment where we need to be

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Speaker 4: not You don't want to ask people if something is

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Speaker 4: safe for you if you know it's not, Yeah, just

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Speaker 4: be like, hey, it's I'm gonna be honest. I want

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Speaker 4: to stay in there, do this work for you for

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Speaker 4: no money, but but I can't.

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Speaker 2: But it's so hot in there, I gotta take a break.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes you look at the weather online and you know

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Speaker 2: and then it feels different on the.

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Speaker 4: Day of right, like you're literally in a barn. I

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Speaker 4: don't know how much air conditioning they've got going on,

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Speaker 4: probably zero.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like if all of these things, if I don't know,

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Speaker 2: even if you didn't know about them before, if you

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Speaker 2: you notice them at the time, you gotta stand up

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Speaker 2: for yourself. So in the end, all she wanted was

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Speaker 2: for me to feel discomfort and be in no part

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Speaker 2: of her wedding whatsoever. I also forgot to mention that

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Speaker 2: my sister has a habit of doing things that suit

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Speaker 2: her ends without considering the feelings of others, which is

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Speaker 2: why I wasn't surprised by the baby trap thing or

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Speaker 2: even announcing her pregnancy the moment Mom made her announcement.

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Speaker 2: And don't worry, I do realize now not to do

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Speaker 2: that anymore, and to think of my health, even if

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00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,840
Speaker 2: it makes me look like an ale good thinking of

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Speaker 2: her health is never an ahle move never, And if

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Speaker 2: anyone makes you think that, then they are the a hole.

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Speaker 2: Yeah we're all adults. Yeah, we all have needs.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, those needs being you know, not staying in like

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Speaker 4: a heat trapped room, getting in a barn, like like

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Speaker 4: they can't understand, and if they don't, that's not your problem.

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Speaker 2: I yn't know that is totally on them. But there

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Speaker 2: is a part two. All right. My takeaways from this

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00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:03,800
Speaker 2: part one was your sister and your stepsister kind of whack. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and take care of yourself please. My mother is trying

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Speaker 2: to dictate my future wedding. I posted almost a month

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Speaker 2: ago about my family and now I've found myself in

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Speaker 2: some interesting drama regarding my relationship and my mother. Oh no,

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Speaker 2: before anyone jumps the pupew, I haven't been proposed to,

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Speaker 2: but my man and I have discussed this at length,

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Speaker 2: which is why this is becoming an issue with my mother,

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Speaker 2: of all people. Apologies for any spelling errors or grammatical mistakes.

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Speaker 2: I down three shots of gin since getting off the

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Speaker 2: phone with my mother, and I am slowly getting more

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Speaker 2: wasted as it hits. To make things clear, my man

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Speaker 2: and I discuss things with others as a general consensus

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Speaker 2: plan of what we want to do based on budget,

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Speaker 2: not time frames exclusively, and the type of company we

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Speaker 2: want to keep. Yeah, hasn't felt pressured about proposing to

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Speaker 2: me because we both know we aren't in a financial

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Speaker 2: situation that marrying me would be beneficial bunch of student

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Speaker 2: debt that I don't want to saddle in with. So

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Speaker 2: we feel no rush in this and there is no

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Speaker 2: set date context. I was raised in a heavily Christian

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Speaker 2: household that believes a church wedding is one of, if

336
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:16,080
Speaker 2: not the only, way to validate a marriage or relationship. Okay,

337
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,639
Speaker 2: my man was raised by his own beliefs and is

338
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Speaker 2: an atheist. I personally don't care about his religion and

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Speaker 2: he doesn't care about mine. He's free to believe what

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Speaker 2: he wants, and I'm free to believe what I want,

341
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Speaker 2: and we're happy with it that way. The problem my

342
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:33,240
Speaker 2: mom is so said in her ways that she wants

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Speaker 2: at least one of her two children to be wed

344
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Speaker 2: in a church under the blessings of God her words.

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Speaker 2: For years, I grew up watching my family fail relationships

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Speaker 2: left and right, like they were casual play dates at

347
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Speaker 2: the park, which deterred me from dating at a hall.

348
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Speaker 2: I always felt, why bother? The stress clearly ain't worth it,

349
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Speaker 2: let alone the drama. I know now it's just a

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Speaker 2: them thing, but back then, being a child, seeing that

351
00:17:57,280 --> 00:18:00,560
Speaker 2: it was no wonder, I grew up dismissing relationships and

352
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:04,480
Speaker 2: sticking to only friendships. That being said, I received a

353
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,919
Speaker 2: lot of pressure growing up to start dating and that

354
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:10,320
Speaker 2: i'd be happier. At the time, I was more focused

355
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,439
Speaker 2: on my health concerns and much less interested in dating.

356
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,840
Speaker 2: No point dating if there's a chance I could drop

357
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,080
Speaker 2: at any moment, was the way I thought A lot

358
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Speaker 2: back then. I didn't want whoever my significant other was,

359
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:23,960
Speaker 2: to be left alone sad because of something neither they

360
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:27,919
Speaker 2: nor I could control or predict. Most of my family

361
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:32,320
Speaker 2: gave up on pressuring me, but ever since middle school, dang,

362
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:35,400
Speaker 2: my mother had always been insistent in trying to get

363
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,959
Speaker 2: me to date. Because you have so many guy friends,

364
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,359
Speaker 2: surely one of them will date, you know. Let me

365
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,440
Speaker 2: tell you now, the friendships I have with my guy

366
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:46,000
Speaker 2: friends are literally described as me being one of the guys.

367
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:49,320
Speaker 2: You don't encroach on that territory as a galpal in

368
00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:52,000
Speaker 2: the group of guy friends, because it just generally ruins

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00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,960
Speaker 2: the vibe. I would never listen to her about it

370
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Speaker 2: because it was my life and not hers, Nor would

371
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Speaker 2: I let anyone dictate my life. That's also crazy that

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Speaker 2: she's telling you to date in middle school. Yes, it's

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Speaker 2: like you gotta get on to it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, gotta get on it in middle school, I know,

375
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Speaker 4: I feel like there are some parents like that. Yeah,

376
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,480
Speaker 4: middle school is pretty crazy, but like I feel like

377
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Speaker 4: I've definitely had some friends with their parents are like,

378
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,160
Speaker 4: so anything going on?

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Speaker 2: I mean, that's absolutely my parents. But oh yeah, I

380
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,760
Speaker 2: didn't do that in middle school. Yeah that's pretty young.

381
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:25,679
Speaker 2: These were words of wisdom my father imparted to me

382
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,800
Speaker 2: before he passed away, and I truly hold to that

383
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,960
Speaker 2: something bubbly for all of you to enjoy. When I

384
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 2: met my first and only boyfriend, we had no freaking

385
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:37,760
Speaker 2: clue we had fallen for each other. We both saw

386
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,040
Speaker 2: each other as good friends, but according to our other

387
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:43,720
Speaker 2: friends and through some humbling looking back on recordings, we

388
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,320
Speaker 2: were slowly growing more and more attached to each other.

389
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,359
Speaker 2: We were so dang oblivious to the fact we'd literally

390
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:52,280
Speaker 2: fallen for each other so hard that it took a

391
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,480
Speaker 2: friend asking us simple questions to point out that both

392
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:59,679
Speaker 2: of us emotionally and romantically constipated people had fallen for

393
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,280
Speaker 2: each other and we didn't know this had gone on

394
00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 2: for almost two weeks. We discussed it healthily and addressed

395
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:08,840
Speaker 2: her feelings. After about a week of continuing to be friends,

396
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,919
Speaker 2: we did start dating, and ever since we've been tighter

397
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,600
Speaker 2: than a vice grip. What made my relationship an issue

398
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,600
Speaker 2: to my mother was the sheer fact of the matter

399
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,720
Speaker 2: that she always tried to coach me and my sister

400
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,600
Speaker 2: to find a nice, rich, loyal boy in that area.

401
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,920
Speaker 2: The point of the matter is that the majority of

402
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:28,000
Speaker 2: the rich local boys in our areas were players and

403
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:31,320
Speaker 2: never loyal. That's what I was just thinking. Story for

404
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:33,600
Speaker 2: another time, but a bit of drama. If you're interested,

405
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,239
Speaker 2: I can retell later. My mother had an affair with

406
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:37,040
Speaker 2: one of these people.

407
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:38,439
Speaker 3: What oh, I want to know?

408
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,879
Speaker 2: My sister ended up leaving the state for several months

409
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,400
Speaker 2: and meeting a guy at the time three states away

410
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,480
Speaker 2: from us, then later coming back and marrying at the courthouse.

411
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:51,560
Speaker 2: My mother didn't exactly like the idea of them breaking

412
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,359
Speaker 2: the tradition we were raised a shop for, but dealt

413
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,919
Speaker 2: with it. Remember the earlier context about my mother raising

414
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,840
Speaker 2: us to marry in a church, Well, since my sister

415
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:03,680
Speaker 2: didn't marry at the church, that left her only other

416
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:06,600
Speaker 2: child to do so. But at the time I wasn't

417
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 2: interested in dating and continued to be that way for

418
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:12,679
Speaker 2: almost five years. So the second I got into my

419
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 2: relationship with my boyfriend, my mom started drawing up wedding plans.

420
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,680
Speaker 2: This is when I learned that there's actually a family

421
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:25,159
Speaker 2: tradition for my mother's side, specifically, the family of the

422
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,679
Speaker 2: bride pays for the wedding. Since my sister didn't have

423
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:31,159
Speaker 2: a wedding and just signed the documents at the courthouse

424
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,760
Speaker 2: and camped in my room for a week, then that

425
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:38,080
Speaker 2: left her youngest child me. Now, I won't sugarcoat it.

426
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:41,240
Speaker 2: I hate my mother, and I don't use that word lightly.

427
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:43,719
Speaker 2: I won't go into detail, but I will explain it

428
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:48,240
Speaker 2: like this. I'm a ridiculously patient person, and if I

429
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 2: managed to hate someone, it means that they did something

430
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 2: to either hurt someone I really care about, or they

431
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:56,240
Speaker 2: hurt me in a way. I will never forgive them,

432
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:59,200
Speaker 2: for I have always lived by the motto to forgive

433
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:03,160
Speaker 2: but not forget. With that in mind, you can guess

434
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:07,560
Speaker 2: that I want zero involvement from my mother, including any expenses.

435
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,239
Speaker 2: I won't go into any details, but this woman has

436
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,920
Speaker 2: done so many things towards both my sister and myself

437
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 2: that I would have willingly sponged the money off of

438
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 2: for greedily if I didn't feel like it came with

439
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:22,120
Speaker 2: some form of emotional attachment, which I know it would. Well,

440
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,560
Speaker 2: I believe in the very real world of karma and

441
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 2: tit for tat. I ain't about to have that bad

442
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:30,520
Speaker 2: mojo in my life. Tied to her our plans, what

443
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 2: we plan to do is host a BBB beer bong barbecue.

444
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,200
Speaker 2: What we don't want it to be serious at all

445
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 2: and just a basic hangout and chill a moment with

446
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,880
Speaker 2: our friends. We intend to just sign the documents at

447
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 2: the courthouse, return home, smoke some green, drink some drinks,

448
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:49,880
Speaker 2: eat some good barbecue, and be happy and have fun.

449
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 2: Any other expenses would go towards something we both could

450
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:57,159
Speaker 2: use or incredibly simple people and personally don't like the

451
00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:00,200
Speaker 2: concept of shelling out thousands of dollars for a wedding

452
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,240
Speaker 2: when we could save that for our future in some

453
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 2: way with no shade towards others who choose to do

454
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:10,080
Speaker 2: so their lives, their choices. My mom obviously takes issue

455
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:12,199
Speaker 2: with this because my sister is still married to this

456
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:16,160
Speaker 2: day and her only other living child lives seven hundred

457
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 2: miles away. Oh well, one of the biggest things my

458
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 2: mother takes issue with reverts back to the fact he

459
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 2: isn't a rich Christian local man. I don't care if

460
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:29,080
Speaker 2: he's a poor Floridian. I'm happy and that's what matters.

461
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,640
Speaker 2: She also hates the fact that we plan to introduce

462
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:33,720
Speaker 2: the green to a wedding, to which I responded that

463
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:37,480
Speaker 2: I'm a registered card holder for the stuff medical conditions,

464
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,040
Speaker 2: and that if I choose to spoke instead of drink

465
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:43,840
Speaker 2: that it was my choice. I mean, yeah, especially like

466
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 2: with the green, it's pretty similar to drinking.

467
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:51,720
Speaker 4: So yeah, depending on you know, your reaction to it

468
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:53,160
Speaker 4: and everything, how much you take.

469
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 2: But also that's kind of the same with drinking. Yeah. True,

470
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 2: though to be fair, I will do both because it

471
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:02,720
Speaker 2: is a celebration. Reasonable concern is I might feel bad after,

472
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:05,439
Speaker 2: but I always bounce back within minutes, and I have

473
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,760
Speaker 2: a decently strong self preservation instinct that won't allow me

474
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,399
Speaker 2: to get inebriated unless I one shot it like I

475
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 2: did prior to write. All right, okay, so do we

476
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 2: have a lot of self preservation? So far we've only

477
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:22,800
Speaker 2: heard stories of you having not a large amount of

478
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:26,119
Speaker 2: self preservation. I guess the hilarious part about all of

479
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 2: this is the fact that my mother admitted four years

480
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:31,879
Speaker 2: ago that she was responsible for both my sister and

481
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,440
Speaker 2: I being a constant state of baked until I was

482
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 2: twelve because one of her and dad's spoken the green,

483
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,639
Speaker 2: so let that one sink in over the phone. She

484
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 2: tells me one second, I need another shot for this one,

485
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 2: because holy beans, this makes me angry.

486
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 5: I want my baby girl to have a nice traditional wedding.

487
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,120
Speaker 5: We'd be happy to find it for you, but only

488
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 5: if you don't have the green in your wedding, which

489
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,919
Speaker 5: I'm telling you right back now that that hypocrisy is

490
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 5: so dang potent for me because of the audacity of

491
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 5: this woman. She has me baked for twelve years of

492
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 5: my childhood life and tells me I can't choose to

493
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:10,919
Speaker 5: use my medicinal HERB at my own party. Heck to that,

494
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,439
Speaker 5: I'm gonna and she can't make me do otherwise.

495
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:18,800
Speaker 2: It's my party, and don't spoke if I want to exactly,

496
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 2: I told her in polite terms that we don't want

497
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,879
Speaker 2: to rely on her money, a lie, since we admittedly

498
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:26,920
Speaker 2: do use the money she sends me every month to

499
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 2: get my medicinal HERB twenty bucks. We just don't admit

500
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 2: it to her, and that we honestly just want to

501
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 2: buy our own supplies and work for our party, since

502
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 2: nothing quite beats the taste of a homemade barbecue with

503
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,679
Speaker 2: some decent drinks and, in my opinion, a bit of

504
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,680
Speaker 2: the mellow stuff to make it more fun. Nope, he's

505
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:47,159
Speaker 2: really emphasizing. Yeah, that's not to say we don't have

506
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,639
Speaker 2: movies or games and stuff we could do. This is

507
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,280
Speaker 2: what this woman is hung up on, Like, yeah, we're

508
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 2: getting married, but come over and smoke. Yeah, we're gonna

509
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 2: watch Shrek. Yeah, I'll just be in a white dress.

510
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:01,880
Speaker 2: You guys, don't worry about it. Don't even honestly, don't

511
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:03,920
Speaker 2: even tell them that you didn't marry. She doesn't want

512
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 2: her Christian daughter to have a non Christian wedding with

513
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 2: it atheist point blank. She seems more upset that she'd

514
00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:13,200
Speaker 2: have to spend close to eight hundred dollars to drive here.

515
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,640
Speaker 2: How much it costs to move me here to see

516
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:19,639
Speaker 2: her youngest child get married. I can promise the drinks

517
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:21,639
Speaker 2: have punted in by now. But the fact that this

518
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 2: egg downer thinks that she can just dictate my wedding

519
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:27,960
Speaker 2: because she wants to follow her tradition, thinks that it will,

520
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 2: and thinks that it will fly. It just won't. She's

521
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,880
Speaker 2: losing a battle to a Floridian who brought me down

522
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,520
Speaker 2: here to get away from her, and she honestly thinks

523
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:39,119
Speaker 2: she has a say in our relationship because she brought

524
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 2: me into this world. Take this lesson for me, and

525
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:44,680
Speaker 2: don't let people dictate your life, because here I am

526
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 2: enjoying the buzz from three shots of gin and laughing

527
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 2: at the hypocrisy and entitlement of this woman to think

528
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,359
Speaker 2: that just because it's her tradition that it has to

529
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:57,439
Speaker 2: be mine. I will scream it from the rooftops if

530
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 2: I have to. This is my life and my relationship.

531
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 2: But out we can literally have an inexpensive wedding at

532
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 2: our house for only one hundred dollars plus the marriage license,

533
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:11,440
Speaker 2: and we can spend that towards our future rather than

534
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,480
Speaker 2: a picture perfect wedding she tried to have three times.

535
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 2: Could be my wasted mind rambling, but this woman has

536
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:22,120
Speaker 2: been married three times. Not very Christian of her, and

537
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 2: oh well, I guess she was a widow, but she

538
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:28,719
Speaker 2: was not an affair. And I've been thinking she's been

539
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,200
Speaker 2: trying to live through both of her children, So the

540
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:34,840
Speaker 2: last person I'd want wedding advice from is her. She

541
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:36,639
Speaker 2: went out of her way to find churches for me,

542
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,120
Speaker 2: one of which is just a seven minute walk from

543
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,479
Speaker 2: my house. I don't want her opinion on that, and

544
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,520
Speaker 2: I've made it known over the three years I've been

545
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 2: away from her. But fear not, we do intend to

546
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:49,919
Speaker 2: cut ties with her once we are financially stable. I

547
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 2: do appreciate her help to keep me healthy as a parent,

548
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 2: but I most certainly don't appreciate her trying to live

549
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:59,200
Speaker 2: her vision vicariously through me. Let that be know. Now,

550
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:02,159
Speaker 2: you can expect a parent for bringing you into this world,

551
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 2: but you don't have to tolerate unrealistic expectations on your

552
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,119
Speaker 2: life based on their own shortcomings. By the way, it

553
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 2: would be a shortcoming on your part to not listen

554
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 2: to full episodes of stories just like this. Just go

555
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 2: to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search a booky

556
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 2: story time. But there is a little bit left to

557
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 2: the story. A final thought.

558
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:25,680
Speaker 4: It's just a lot of throwing rocks and glasshouse kind

559
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:29,679
Speaker 4: of stuff, you know. Yeah, like it's dance mom energy

560
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 4: It's like, I mean, this woman was pushing her her

561
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,639
Speaker 4: daughter to date in middle school. That seems like that

562
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:40,720
Speaker 4: would be the type of person that like maybe wasn't

563
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 4: happy or isn't fulfilled in her own life and is

564
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 4: kind of wanting to live vicariously through her children. Yeah,

565
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,720
Speaker 4: and we've seen it in more than one ways.

566
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 2: So very true, very true.

567
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:55,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

568
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 2: I think that you can kind of put a little

569
00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 2: bit of distance between you and your mother. Yeah, just

570
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:04,080
Speaker 2: just set those boundaries so that she doesn't feel like

571
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 2: she can kind of dictate everything you do with your life. Yeah,

572
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,120
Speaker 2: especially before you have any you know, if you want

573
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:14,280
Speaker 2: children before you have children, Yeah, so that she doesn't

574
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:18,520
Speaker 2: kind of put her foot into that as well. Anyway,

575
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 2: I'm happy in my life and my relationship. If he

576
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 2: wants to propose to me, I'll be happy with it.

577
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 2: And we already know our plan, a fun party with friends,

578
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 2: with all of us happy and enjoying ourselves, and to me,

579
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 2: that's all I can ask for. However, I won't let

580
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 2: someone try to tell me how to marry based on

581
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 2: her or the family's traditions. Sometimes traditions are meant to

582
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:41,240
Speaker 2: be broken, and if the couple are happy together. What's

583
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,240
Speaker 2: the problem. I hope you all enjoyed. I'm gonna relax

584
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 2: now and try not to laugh myself into another dimension

585
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:50,880
Speaker 2: from this woman's delusions. And that is the end of

586
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 2: that story. Wow wowie wow.

587
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 4: So it sounds like she is distancing herself a little

588
00:29:56,080 --> 00:30:00,640
Speaker 4: bit or least yeah, at least just being like okay, yeah,

589
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:01,400
Speaker 4: I don't want it.

590
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 2: And it also kind of makes a little bit more

591
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,719
Speaker 2: sense why the mother didn't check up on op at

592
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:09,320
Speaker 2: the wedding. Yeah it's coming. Or I'm finally understanding all

593
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 2: of these weird you know, relationships and why they were

594
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 2: happening like that. Yeah, Hey, it's johny.

595
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:20,680
Speaker 1: Og Host here. We're gonna get back to the stories.

596
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 1: But here's a quick three minute break of ass from

597
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 1: our sponsors. My mother in law sued us for visitation.

598
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 1: Now she's no longer in our lives.

599
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 3: Objection leading the witness.

600
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 1: Leading the witness away from us, Thank you. I thirty

601
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:40,480
Speaker 1: females started dating my husband, thirty male, Steve, since we

602
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 1: were in the eighth grade, so we have so much

603
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 1: history together. Steve's parents divorced when he was around nine

604
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 1: years old, and it was messy. Both of his parents

605
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 1: were the type that used their children as leverage to

606
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:54,760
Speaker 1: hurt each other, so you can imagine how that went

607
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:56,960
Speaker 1: for him and his siblings. I do want to make

608
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 1: an important note that today Steve's dad is a pretty

609
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 1: chick guy and nice to be around, but it did

610
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:04,959
Speaker 1: take him several years to get to that point. By

611
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 1: the way, this comes from user rosecats fourteen, and if

612
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 1: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

613
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:13,520
Speaker 1: r slash okay story time subreddit on Reddit and submit

614
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 1: them there. Back then, Steve's mom cheated on his dad,

615
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 1: causing them to separate. During this time, she would leave

616
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 1: a younger Steve and his siblings alone at night imagine

617
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:27,720
Speaker 1: kids between one and seven years old, and my father

618
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:31,520
Speaker 1: in law looking for her for reconciliation, found all of

619
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 1: his children abandoned, and she would be back by six

620
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:36,440
Speaker 1: am as if nothing happened. So she's the type of

621
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 1: woman that prioritizes her own comfort over her children. I

622
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 1: don't know. Good that doesn't seem like a harsh enough

623
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 1: judgment of that kind of behavior. Anyways, During this time,

624
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 1: mother in law lost the house during the divorce and

625
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 1: father in law got to keep it. He remarried and

626
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 1: now has two younger children. Steve never lived with his

627
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 1: dad because back then he had some anger issues and

628
00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 1: just tried to avoid him. Steve and his siblings were

629
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 1: taken in by his paternal grandparents. However, mother in law

630
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: was still receiving child support even if they didn't live

631
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 1: with her. Father in law took her to court to

632
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 1: stop these payments, but she convinced the young children to

633
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:14,480
Speaker 1: lie to the judge and say that they indeed lived

634
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:17,480
Speaker 1: with her. This caused a retaliation from the grandparents that

635
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 1: ended up having them removed from the house. Steve was

636
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 1: around fourteen when we started high school. Steve and his

637
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,760
Speaker 1: siblings went to live with his maternal grandfather. He did

638
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 1: not have much over his roof gave them the basics

639
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:33,720
Speaker 1: such as paying utilities and a house. Meanwhile, Steve and

640
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 1: his two brothers were living with a weekly child support

641
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 1: of twenty five dollars, yes for the three of them.

642
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 1: His dad back then was basically on minimum wage. To

643
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 1: give a bit more perspective, we live in Mexico and

644
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:48,360
Speaker 1: this was five hundred dollars in pesos, still not nearly

645
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 1: enough to feed three people, let alone three teenagers. Steve

646
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 1: and his siblings started working at a very young age

647
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:56,600
Speaker 1: so they could pay for their own food. They're very

648
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 1: hard working and honest. Men. Was my mother in law

649
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 1: doing at this time? You may ask? She was supposedly

650
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 1: living with them, but in reality she had a much

651
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:09,000
Speaker 1: younger boyfriend, and she would party and disappear completely from

652
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,320
Speaker 1: three to six days a week, going out to dinners

653
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 1: or to the beach and just living her best life

654
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:16,240
Speaker 1: while her kids could only afford to eat oatmeal for

655
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:17,320
Speaker 1: months on end.

656
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 3: Wow wow, Wowow, you cheated on your husband, you left

657
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,120
Speaker 3: your kids, and you're partying it up. Kids are struggling.

658
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 1: Well, she's just teaching her kids the value of hard work. No,

659
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:33,240
Speaker 1: she's winning the worst Mom of the Year award Regional Mexico. Okay,

660
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 1: here we go. For almost a year, she took the

661
00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:38,160
Speaker 1: entirety of the child support and just spent it on

662
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 1: herself and her boyfriend. It wasn't a lot, but still

663
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 1: the little secure money they had she would take. She

664
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:46,800
Speaker 1: refused to work and provide for her kids, as working

665
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:49,720
Speaker 1: doesn't get along with her vibe, and several times during

666
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 1: this time she would even ask her kids for money

667
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 1: to go out. Her children asked her repeatedly to stay

668
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 1: with them, as they felt the need for some type

669
00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:59,720
Speaker 1: of stability and they just wanted their mom to be there.

670
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 1: But her excuse was always I already raised you and

671
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 1: I deserve to be happy, not confined in this house,

672
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 1: and proceeded to immediately leave them again for days on end.

673
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:10,000
Speaker 1: Where's dad here?

674
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 3: How did dad acking? Dad's making minimum wage.

675
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 1: And probably has anger issues. Yeah, ah, even her own

676
00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 1: father would call her out on this behavior, but she

677
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:21,320
Speaker 1: just got mad and left. Back then, I really didn't

678
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 1: have that bad of a relationship with my mother in law,

679
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:25,759
Speaker 1: but I must admit that my point of view on

680
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:28,280
Speaker 1: many things was very immature, and now that I'm older,

681
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:31,320
Speaker 1: I can clearly see that her behavior was just pure

682
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:35,360
Speaker 1: neglect and selfishness. The problems really started when we got engaged.

683
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:37,480
Speaker 1: As soon as I graduated college and started to have

684
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:40,719
Speaker 1: an income, Steve proposed and I moved in with him.

685
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:43,120
Speaker 1: This was late twenty eighteen and we were both aged

686
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:45,879
Speaker 1: twenty three. I was extremely stubborn in having my dream

687
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:48,360
Speaker 1: wedding at where I live. It was customary for the

688
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:52,120
Speaker 1: parents of the bride. I was extremely stubborn in having

689
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 1: my dream wedding and where I live it was customary

690
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,320
Speaker 1: for the parents of the bride to pay for the wedding,

691
00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 1: But in the end, my parents bailed on me, which

692
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:02,080
Speaker 1: is a whole different story for another time, and we

693
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:05,320
Speaker 1: were kindly supported by other family members. In other words,

694
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,279
Speaker 1: we had a tight budget for the wedding, and we

695
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 1: di wied many things and looked for cheaper venders for this.

696
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 1: My mother in law offered to help us with the

697
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 1: wedding invitations, the design, and the printing. I paid for

698
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 1: all of this. The real problem started when this woman

699
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:23,920
Speaker 1: took the opportunity to start inviting other people without our knowledge.

700
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:27,160
Speaker 1: When Steve and I found out, we lost it. Our

701
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 1: budget was already very limited and could not afford to

702
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 1: have more people than the ones we deemed most important.

703
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:36,479
Speaker 1: So he called his mother and started berating her, saying

704
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 1: she didn't have the right to do that and he

705
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:41,280
Speaker 1: couldn't give two f's about the people she was inviting.

706
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:45,279
Speaker 1: This woman started messaging me and calling me, accusing me

707
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 1: of pitting her son against her. She called me manipulative

708
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,840
Speaker 1: and that it was my parent's obligation to pay for

709
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 1: the wedding because our actions were making her baby upset. Yes,

710
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:56,040
Speaker 1: she literally called.

711
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:58,720
Speaker 3: Him her baby, that's not your baby. You abandoned your baby.

712
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:00,200
Speaker 3: I don't know is entire.

713
00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:03,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, this is really where is that kind

714
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:06,279
Speaker 1: of talk coming from? Where you literally neglected them their

715
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:10,760
Speaker 1: entire upbring the cognitive dissonance there is astounding.

716
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 3: Who are you to say that his mother? Yes, no,

717
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 3: you're not you're you're someone who gave birth to him

718
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:17,239
Speaker 3: and then you abandoned them.

719
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:18,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you took.

720
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:21,239
Speaker 2: The tiny amount of money that they had, Uh.

721
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 1: That was secure and you would take it to go party.

722
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:25,239
Speaker 2: That is trash can back.

723
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,400
Speaker 3: It was young, reckless.

724
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 1: She said he would never yell at her if it

725
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:32,720
Speaker 1: wasn't for me. This was literally two weeks before the wedding,

726
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:36,360
Speaker 1: and I was seriously considering calling it all off because

727
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:39,680
Speaker 1: at that time Steve didn't defend me and saw his

728
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:44,640
Speaker 1: mother's behavior as normal and somewhat justified. That's a that's

729
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 1: a big red flag just shot up into the air.

730
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,919
Speaker 1: This woman always created a fight with anyone at any

731
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 1: time if she didn't get her way, so her children

732
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 1: saw this behavior as normal. I sucked it up because

733
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,719
Speaker 1: I really loved him. But if I could go back

734
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 1: in time, I would have just eloped. We got married,

735
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:04,720
Speaker 1: and all was okay for some time. But each time

736
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:07,439
Speaker 1: this woman didn't get what she wanted, she would start

737
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:12,480
Speaker 1: telling anyone who would listen that I was psychotic, manipulative, narcissistic, possessive,

738
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:15,560
Speaker 1: and much more. If my hubby just didn't want to

739
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 1: do something, she would automatically blame me for his decisions.

740
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 1: He would repeatedly ask her to stop calling me names,

741
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:25,480
Speaker 1: and after she cooled down after several days, she would

742
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 1: apologize to him and promise it wouldn't happen again, which

743
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 1: in fact was always a lie. I would really like

744
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:34,360
Speaker 1: to say that I'm exaggerating and that I'm also the

745
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 1: problem that in some instances I could have handled this

746
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:41,279
Speaker 1: situation better, but with the simplest of decisions, such as

747
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 1: not participating in a white elephant ceremony due to money constraints,

748
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 1: she would start with these intense accusations. She had always

749
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,839
Speaker 1: felt entitled to other people's money. Always go figure. One

750
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:55,319
Speaker 1: of Steve's brothers got married and the same thing that

751
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:58,919
Speaker 1: happened to us happened to them. Gladly, this crap show

752
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:01,080
Speaker 1: of a drama made my mind. Now brother in law's

753
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 1: wife and I closer as we felt we needed some

754
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 1: type of support system in dealing with the same mother

755
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:09,480
Speaker 1: in law. I would even call Emma my best friend

756
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:10,040
Speaker 1: at this point.

757
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:11,160
Speaker 3: We love a family bond.

758
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:14,400
Speaker 1: Hey, there you go. Yeah, your mother in law is terrible,

759
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:16,520
Speaker 1: but at least she had a best friend out of it.

760
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:18,960
Speaker 3: Both of you are agreeing she like the worst.

761
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:24,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my god did Yeah. There are so many

762
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:27,120
Speaker 1: instances where my mother in law would lose her cool

763
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 1: and let her true colors shine, calling us both manipulative

764
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:35,440
Speaker 1: and narstic. But she got really intense with Emma attacking

765
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:38,239
Speaker 1: all of her family members, saying again that it was

766
00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 1: her parents' obligation to pay for anyone she wanted to

767
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:43,160
Speaker 1: invite to her son's wedding. She started to insult Emma's

768
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 1: siblings and parents, calling them ugly and lazy. They're the

769
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 1: sweetest people I know. All of them are very hard working,

770
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:52,400
Speaker 1: and I would also say attractive. That's how crazy this

771
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:55,239
Speaker 1: woman is. She would constantly compare other people with her

772
00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:58,759
Speaker 1: adult children, always saying that they're the most handsome and

773
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 1: all that stuff, because she also places the importance of

774
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:06,279
Speaker 1: people solely on their appearance. No way a party girl

775
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:10,000
Speaker 1: who neglected her own children for years and years is

776
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:14,760
Speaker 1: vain no impossible. I forgot to mention that this devil

777
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 1: woman got married with the younger dude she was dating

778
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:21,359
Speaker 1: and cheated on her ex husband. But he is a

779
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,959
Speaker 1: heavy drinker and just a terrible person all together. So yes,

780
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:26,920
Speaker 1: she's married and has a six year old girl. If

781
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:28,959
Speaker 1: you thought that was bad, let me tell you back

782
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 1: when Let me if you thought that. If you thought

783
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:33,480
Speaker 1: that was bad though, let me tell you that crap

784
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:35,839
Speaker 1: or really hit the fan when I got pregnant back

785
00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty three. When we told her about my pregnancy,

786
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 1: she wasn't really happy and was clearly faking a smile.

787
00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:43,680
Speaker 1: When we told the rest of the family, she started

788
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:46,040
Speaker 1: to rub my belly. I was just like three months

789
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:48,440
Speaker 1: in and wasn't showing, so that was really weird. And

790
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 1: she was saying that I was carrying her baby and

791
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:55,320
Speaker 1: that she was so excited to have another baby. Pause,

792
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,400
Speaker 1: not your baby, dude, Why would you even be excited

793
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 1: to have another baby? You neglected all of them more child.

794
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,440
Speaker 3: Support, literally, like I love him so much, and uh,

795
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:05,719
Speaker 3: you know what, time's the charm. Maybe that'll be that's

796
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:06,960
Speaker 3: when I'll be an actual mother.

797
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:11,200
Speaker 1: That's when I had enough and directly set a boundary

798
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:13,799
Speaker 1: with her, not via Steve and I told her to

799
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 1: not get things twisted. This was my baby and not hers.

800
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:19,720
Speaker 1: She got nervous and started laughing, but later she started

801
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 1: texting my husband that I needed psychiatric help and that

802
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:26,040
Speaker 1: I'm extremely possessive after this incident, I just wanted to

803
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 1: have a peaceful pregnancy, and Steve and I started avoiding

804
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,880
Speaker 1: her completely. I had an emergency sea section and we

805
00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:33,880
Speaker 1: didn't want any visits in the hospital. But in the

806
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:36,239
Speaker 1: last minute, Steve told me that if we didn't tell

807
00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 1: his mom, she would lose it and go nuclear on us.

808
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 1: So we called her to meet the baby. And oh, boy, peez,

809
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:44,760
Speaker 1: why Steve, why.

810
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:46,800
Speaker 3: Would you do that? You know that is just a

811
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 3: bad juju.

812
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:49,760
Speaker 1: Your wife just had an emergency sea section.

813
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:52,400
Speaker 3: The last thing she wants is probably one of the

814
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:55,160
Speaker 3: most stressful benefactors in your life.

815
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:58,799
Speaker 1: Phenomenal use of benefactor. The hospital prepared a special meal

816
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:00,920
Speaker 1: for me, and she got me that I didn't give

817
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:04,280
Speaker 1: her some of my food. Yeah, my hospital food hours

818
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:05,720
Speaker 1: after my sea section.

819
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:09,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, that you look a little tired. I think I'll

820
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:09,680
Speaker 3: take it for mim.

821
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 1: Stop and Steve needs to wake up, smell the sunshine,

822
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:16,920
Speaker 1: that his mom is a force of pure negativity. When

823
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:20,280
Speaker 1: the pediatrician came in and explained general care for the newborn,

824
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:23,319
Speaker 1: she started interrupting her and telling the story of God

825
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:25,680
Speaker 1: knows whose child got sick from that type of care.

826
00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:28,480
Speaker 1: When my gynecologist came in and explained my aftercare, she

827
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:30,880
Speaker 1: never left the room and even stayed when my guano

828
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 1: started giving me general recommendations for this spas a sleep

829
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:40,480
Speaker 1: and was just nodding along okay. In several occasions she

830
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:42,799
Speaker 1: wanted to hold my baby, but I didn't let her

831
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 1: as I was so upset by her presence and asked

832
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 1: her three different times if she was already leaving or

833
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:50,080
Speaker 1: planning to leave soon. She stayed for another hour because

834
00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:52,439
Speaker 1: she wouldn't leave as I had no right to ask

835
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:55,600
Speaker 1: her that because her precious son invited her. Where Steve,

836
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 1: what do we do? I am, Steve, sending you back

837
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,919
Speaker 1: into minecraft. Steve. The moment we had this gorgeous, healthy

838
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:03,920
Speaker 1: baby boy, Steve started to see how really toxic his

839
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 1: mom had always been, and he made a promise to

840
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:09,840
Speaker 1: himself to not let his son down as his parents

841
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:12,920
Speaker 1: did to him, and give him the best loving life possible.

842
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:15,480
Speaker 1: To be honest, some people might say that he was

843
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 1: a red flag before this for enabling the behavior in

844
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:20,879
Speaker 1: the first place, but we have to consider that this

845
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:24,440
Speaker 1: is what he grew up with, and breaking those patterns

846
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 1: is for anyone, especially when it's your parents, the people

847
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:31,080
Speaker 1: who are supposed to protect you. He's a really hard

848
00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:34,000
Speaker 1: working guy, got his degree and thanks to him, we

849
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:36,480
Speaker 1: got to buy our house at twenty six, So he's

850
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 1: a pretty great guy and I couldn't be prouder of

851
00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 1: the man he's become. Now back to the story, we

852
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 1: didn't want anyone to visit us as we were really

853
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:46,239
Speaker 1: scared of our new board catching something, mostly because his

854
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:49,640
Speaker 1: family members tend to be very irresponsible. Think of as

855
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:52,879
Speaker 1: an example. During the VID, they were sick and told

856
00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:55,280
Speaker 1: no one so they could still go out at family functions.

857
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 1: They're that type of people, so we didn't really trust

858
00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:00,040
Speaker 1: them near our baby. Mother in law never liked this

859
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:03,239
Speaker 1: and called us paranoid and that they deserved to visit

860
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 1: the baby whenever they wanted. She even called our rules stupid.

861
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:10,240
Speaker 1: This woman is an actual leech, as she has always

862
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:12,200
Speaker 1: said that she doesn't like to work and that her

863
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:15,080
Speaker 1: children have the obligation to take care of her. In

864
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:18,720
Speaker 1: her mind, she excuses this as the only reason people

865
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 1: have children's.

866
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:22,959
Speaker 3: Oh it's all coming together. Oh brother, it's all coming together.

867
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,560
Speaker 1: Now, it's all coming anytime she asked for money, she

868
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:28,799
Speaker 1: would use the emotional blackmail of I deserve this because

869
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:30,760
Speaker 1: I'm your mother and I raised you. No, you didn't.

870
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:32,719
Speaker 1: You wouldn't have had all those things if it wasn't

871
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:34,839
Speaker 1: for me. Actually I would have had more. I would

872
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 1: have had more things because you were taking the child's support.

873
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:40,280
Speaker 3: What things? The only thing that was there oatmeal?

874
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:42,440
Speaker 1: Think of all the oatmeal you would have missed out

875
00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:44,719
Speaker 1: on if it wasn't for me taking your money from you.

876
00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:46,759
Speaker 3: The only thing that was there wasn't you.

877
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:49,959
Speaker 1: So what are these things? You may be asking. That's

878
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,600
Speaker 1: the same thing we were wondering, because this woman always

879
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:56,080
Speaker 1: comes up with the most insane lies to make herself

880
00:43:56,120 --> 00:43:58,439
Speaker 1: be the victim in the main character. Whenever she did

881
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:00,880
Speaker 1: something for them, it was because she asked like five

882
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,719
Speaker 1: different people for money. But as an example, she would

883
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:06,560
Speaker 1: usually fall behind in college payments, and for a couple

884
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:09,280
Speaker 1: times Steve was at risk of losing an entire semester

885
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:12,040
Speaker 1: since Steve got a well paying job, she would ask

886
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:14,280
Speaker 1: him for money, but since the birth of our baby,

887
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:16,080
Speaker 1: we were running a bit short and he would say no.

888
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 1: She never liked this, but would start with her emotional blackmail.

889
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 1: So on this one specific time, she started berating him

890
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:28,000
Speaker 1: and accusing him of being possessed by the data, referring

891
00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 1: to me, of course, and that he was living with

892
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:33,200
Speaker 1: a nartist. When he told her that she was the

893
00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:36,879
Speaker 1: narcis if anyone, and she was trying to gaslight him,

894
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:40,040
Speaker 1: she told him that's impossible because nar only like that

895
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,959
Speaker 1: with their significant other and people they live with. Because

896
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:46,319
Speaker 1: apparently now she's an expert, This woman is outrageous, an

897
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,480
Speaker 1: outrageous woman. She also said that back in high school

898
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:52,279
Speaker 1: in college he never struggled with money and that he

899
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:56,680
Speaker 1: worked for pleasure, completely demeaning all of the hard he

900
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 1: put in to have a better life. Their argument really

901
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:02,120
Speaker 1: started to escalate to the point where she said she

902
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:06,200
Speaker 1: was disgusted by me because I'm a spicy worker. So

903
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:09,800
Speaker 1: my personal list of offenses has a new entry. Hooray

904
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 1: for that extra context. Back in twenty twenty one, I

905
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 1: did have an of for just two months to help

906
00:45:15,719 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 1: pay some bills because I was unemployed. My hobby always

907
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 1: knew about this and encouraged me because he insisted I

908
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 1: could get some good money out of it, but I

909
00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:23,440
Speaker 1: got a steady job instead and just left that. In

910
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,440
Speaker 1: the past, I never really posted intense things, just like

911
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:29,719
Speaker 1: little Spicy cosplays. The problem is that she believes that

912
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 1: platform is explicitly for soliciting spicy employees, and even with

913
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:38,879
Speaker 1: a quick Google search, still prefers to believe that it's

914
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 1: used for that. He blocked her after insulting me like that,

915
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:46,560
Speaker 1: but that didn't stop her. She started stalking us and

916
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:48,840
Speaker 1: came to our house banging on the door to be

917
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:50,839
Speaker 1: let in, and my hobby was so mad at her

918
00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 1: that he never did let her in. I was breastfeeding

919
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 1: a two month old at the time, and instead they

920
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:57,880
Speaker 1: started to argue outside for three hours straight. Mother in

921
00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:00,240
Speaker 1: law started to tell him that he could not escape

922
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:03,040
Speaker 1: her and that she would always find her children, that

923
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,200
Speaker 1: all of them are like parts of her body, and

924
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:09,680
Speaker 1: insisted that I was a nasty, spicy work After three hours,

925
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:12,920
Speaker 1: she faked several apologies, talked about how other people did

926
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:15,720
Speaker 1: insane stuff for their mothers and her children did nothing,

927
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,359
Speaker 1: how she was embarrassed of them because even with good

928
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:20,960
Speaker 1: study jobs, they never gave her any money and so on.

929
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:23,880
Speaker 1: She's just an actual leech.

930
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:26,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, she just wants she wants money.

931
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:29,960
Speaker 1: She just wants from you, to the point where she's

932
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:33,640
Speaker 1: literally openly said, people only have kids so that the

933
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:38,440
Speaker 1: kids take care of them. That's a crazy perspective.

934
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:40,879
Speaker 3: I only want a thousand kids so I can create

935
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 3: an army, yes, to take care of me.

936
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:48,120
Speaker 1: A thousand kids for one army, one army of mine. Okay.

937
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:51,480
Speaker 1: At the end, just so she would leave, it was

938
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:54,680
Speaker 1: late and getting cold, Steve just walked her to her car,

939
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:58,560
Speaker 1: nodded a couple times, and he never unblocked her until

940
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:01,799
Speaker 1: she tried reaching out on Christmas and there was another

941
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 1: fight because she was fully expecting to see the baby.

942
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 1: Even after all of those insults, She started calling Steve

943
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:11,799
Speaker 1: a narth as well and said that I was controlling him,

944
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 1: that all of his actions and words aren't his, and

945
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 1: that I was influencing him to leave his family behind.

946
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:20,160
Speaker 1: She started to say that she deserves to have a

947
00:47:20,239 --> 00:47:23,439
Speaker 1: relationship with our baby. He could not take that away

948
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:25,960
Speaker 1: from her. We just cut contact completely because she was

949
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:29,319
Speaker 1: so exhausting and with a baby, we barely had any

950
00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 1: energy for ourselves, let alone having a relationship with someone

951
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:35,719
Speaker 1: that enjoys creating conflict as much as she does. We

952
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:38,320
Speaker 1: never saw her again until she came to our house

953
00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:42,200
Speaker 1: again on my baby's first birthday. Man, she's persistent. My

954
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 1: husband and I were home preparing some stuff for his

955
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:48,359
Speaker 1: birthday while he was at daycare having his own party there,

956
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:51,520
Speaker 1: when this crazy woman started banging on our door and

957
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 1: stayed for thirty minutes waiting to be let in. In

958
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:57,480
Speaker 1: this time, she started to spute some nonsense where she

959
00:47:57,520 --> 00:48:00,200
Speaker 1: went from crying to yelling to laughing in the span

960
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:02,239
Speaker 1: of a minute. We never opened the door and had

961
00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:04,240
Speaker 1: to call the police to remove her from our property.

962
00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:06,120
Speaker 1: We live in a private suburb where you need to

963
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:09,719
Speaker 1: request access via security personnel. In the two occasions that

964
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:12,719
Speaker 1: she got to our house, she bypassed security, so we

965
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:15,120
Speaker 1: have the authorization to call the police and remove her

966
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:17,840
Speaker 1: from the premises. When she saw the police, she started

967
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:22,319
Speaker 1: yelling that I cheated on my husband with her husband doubt,

968
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:25,239
Speaker 1: and that it's her son's house and that she has

969
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:27,480
Speaker 1: the right to be there. And when my husband went

970
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:30,280
Speaker 1: out to the officers and explained the situation. She started

971
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:33,839
Speaker 1: calling him disgusting because he had new tattoos, remember she's

972
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:35,799
Speaker 1: hadn't seen him in almost a year, and some other

973
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:39,120
Speaker 1: crazy stuff. Faithfully, the police did escort her away, but

974
00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:43,160
Speaker 1: this incident only ended up fueling her intense anger. She

975
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:45,880
Speaker 1: sued us with what money does she I don't know.

976
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:48,640
Speaker 1: I guess her new husband. I guess her new hot,

977
00:48:48,719 --> 00:48:51,400
Speaker 1: young husband that she cheated on her ex with. Maybe

978
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:53,479
Speaker 1: he's give miss your money bag. So yeah, you read

979
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:57,799
Speaker 1: that right. She sued us for visitation rights over our son,

980
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,720
Speaker 1: and we've heard from other family members that she isn't

981
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:03,880
Speaker 1: really interested in him. She's doing all of this just

982
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:07,400
Speaker 1: so she can see her own son. She has shown

983
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:12,320
Speaker 1: some weird obsession over her children that I cannot quite describe.

984
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:15,239
Speaker 1: She makes them responsible for the craziest things, and when

985
00:49:15,239 --> 00:49:18,520
Speaker 1: she doesn't have control over a situation or someone, that's

986
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 1: when she loses it. Some may argue that it's important

987
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:24,160
Speaker 1: for a child to have their grandparent there, and I

988
00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:28,799
Speaker 1: agree the whole family dynamic is important. However, when the

989
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:33,160
Speaker 1: relationship is so troublesome and the adult is so controlling manipulative,

990
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:36,759
Speaker 1: does not respect simple boundaries and is so neglectful. I

991
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:40,439
Speaker 1: wholeheartedly believe that they shouldn't be involved in the child's life.

992
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:43,920
Speaker 1: Children also deserve respect and a loving family circle. My

993
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 1: mother in law does have a child, and I don't

994
00:49:46,239 --> 00:49:48,719
Speaker 1: really want to go into that much detail because I

995
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:51,440
Speaker 1: do believe this child's privacy is important, but I will

996
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:54,400
Speaker 1: say awfully neglectful of her, and several times in the

997
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:57,040
Speaker 1: past would brag that she wouldn't shower her for weeks

998
00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:00,879
Speaker 1: because children don't like baths and it's two hiresome. This

999
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 1: woman needs to be in jail. I can't know that

1000
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:05,960
Speaker 1: that's like criminal neglects the child.

1001
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:09,400
Speaker 3: It's too tired to obay the child. When you said, hmm,

1002
00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:11,560
Speaker 3: they're supposed to take care of me, so they're gonna

1003
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 3: be too tired to keep you com.

1004
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:15,000
Speaker 1: Up, dude, I hope they just have barely enough energy

1005
00:50:15,040 --> 00:50:17,560
Speaker 1: to throw you into the ocean, back to the pits

1006
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:20,920
Speaker 1: that spawned you. If this woman won't take care of

1007
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:23,560
Speaker 1: her own child, how can I entrust her with mine

1008
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:27,040
Speaker 1: when she apparently despises me so much. We don't even

1009
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:29,520
Speaker 1: know how the f she got the money to start

1010
00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:31,799
Speaker 1: a legal process, but she's the type of person that

1011
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:35,600
Speaker 1: has so so much energy to create and maintain conflict.

1012
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:38,240
Speaker 1: We wanted to cut off contact, but she just won't

1013
00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:40,840
Speaker 1: let us. So there's that. When I have more updates,

1014
00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:42,640
Speaker 1: I'll make sure to let you all know, because, oh

1015
00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:45,000
Speaker 1: my goodness, this woman will just not give up. Whenever

1016
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:47,360
Speaker 1: you feel you have a mother in law spawn from help,

1017
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:50,600
Speaker 1: please remember me and this post. This one might be

1018
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:53,080
Speaker 1: a hard one to beat. And we have an update.

1019
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:54,480
Speaker 1: It's a good one.

1020
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:56,760
Speaker 3: I hope. So I saw it comes first.

1021
00:50:56,840 --> 00:51:02,239
Speaker 1: So we got a restraining order. Yeah, I mean, there's

1022
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:03,439
Speaker 1: no way she was gonna win.

1023
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 3: She just she'd be like that paper won't stop.

1024
00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:08,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, but the police that will come when you ignore

1025
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 1: the paper will stop you. We have submitted all of

1026
00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:13,680
Speaker 1: the evidence in our response against our mother in law

1027
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:17,279
Speaker 1: that includes witnesses, video evidence of her yelling and when

1028
00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:19,480
Speaker 1: she came to our house, even when the police had

1029
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:22,840
Speaker 1: to escort her away. Having security cameras was really for

1030
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:25,920
Speaker 1: the best. Steve's brothers, dad, and aunt are some of

1031
00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:28,840
Speaker 1: our witnesses that can testify that this woman is indeed

1032
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:31,760
Speaker 1: a train wreck. For the whole duration of this legal process,

1033
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:34,440
Speaker 1: the restraining order will be valid and permanent. We got

1034
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:37,600
Speaker 1: a great lawyer until a judge decides otherwise. By the way,

1035
00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 1: you can be the judge of the full episodes with

1036
00:51:41,719 --> 00:51:44,840
Speaker 1: stories like this that you can find on Spotify and

1037
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:48,640
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and Apple podcasts wherever you have podcasts to listen to.

1038
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:51,920
Speaker 1: Just search Okay story Time and you'll find twelve hundred

1039
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:55,400
Speaker 1: and forty eight worth of stories and counting. By the

1040
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:57,839
Speaker 1: time this comes out, probably like at least twenty more

1041
00:51:57,840 --> 00:51:58,239
Speaker 1: hours than that.

1042
00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:00,480
Speaker 3: More more, more, more, more more more, just.

1043
00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:04,560
Speaker 1: An endless stream of wah juicy goodness. So we do

1044
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:07,600
Speaker 1: have some more story. Let's finish it off. We're right

1045
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:10,960
Speaker 1: at the end here. We had also requested a psychological

1046
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 1: evaluation on her and her daughter. We do think the

1047
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:17,480
Speaker 1: kid needs to be checked before there's some permanent emotional damage,

1048
00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:20,160
Speaker 1: but the judge denied the evaluation on the kid and

1049
00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:23,880
Speaker 1: requested my husband and I also get in evaluation. Also,

1050
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:26,440
Speaker 1: Social services will come to both my mother in law's

1051
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 1: house and our house to determine if the environment is

1052
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:33,360
Speaker 1: appropriate for miners. If the witnesses and environment showcase everything

1053
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 1: isn't best for her child, then another investigation will be

1054
00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:39,200
Speaker 1: opened and CPS will get involved. This will not go

1055
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:43,319
Speaker 1: as she intended. She wanted to forcefully make us see her,

1056
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:46,760
Speaker 1: but so far she's forcefully not allowed to be close

1057
00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:49,520
Speaker 1: to us. And that is the end of that story.

1058
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:52,319
Speaker 1: And I really hope the best. I wish the best

1059
00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:54,680
Speaker 1: for that child, for all the children involved. I wish the.

1060
00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 3: Best needs to be pinned up on a wall.

1061
00:52:57,200 --> 00:52:59,640
Speaker 1: Put it on the front door, put a copy of

1062
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:03,120
Speaker 1: it on the lights around it, big at shrine to it.

1063
00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:05,160
Speaker 3: Literally, like you walk you like you just wake up.

1064
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:07,040
Speaker 3: You walk out and you see it like in the

1065
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:08,920
Speaker 3: hall or like in the like the living room, and

1066
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:10,040
Speaker 3: you're like, ah.

1067
00:53:11,040 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 1: It's nice. And then you hear bang bang bang bang

1068
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:15,319
Speaker 1: bang on the front door and you're like, no, let

1069
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:17,640
Speaker 1: me take it. Ah, And then you just grab the

1070
00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:19,319
Speaker 1: phone that's right next to it. It's like a hot

1071
00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:21,839
Speaker 1: line to the police station. Ah.

1072
00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:24,600
Speaker 3: There was no bone in this price.

1073
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:25,520
Speaker 1: It didn't sound like it.

1074
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:27,399
Speaker 3: No a single remorseful.

1075
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:30,239
Speaker 1: She just was like, kids are tools I used to

1076
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:31,760
Speaker 1: financially enrich myself.

1077
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:35,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's crazy for game, not in any loving manner.

1078
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:36,960
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go party in it.

1079
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:40,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, so weird, so weird. Oh lord, if you have

1080
00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:43,759
Speaker 1: a relative like this woman, or you find similarities to

1081
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:45,719
Speaker 1: this woman. I wish you both all the help in

1082
00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:46,040
Speaker 1: the world.

1083
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:47,320
Speaker 3: That's the end of that story.

1084
00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:50,719
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your ogi host here. Bring it back

1085
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:52,880
Speaker 1: to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from our sponsor.

1086
00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:57,200
Speaker 2: My mother in law insists on staying long term. I

1087
00:53:57,200 --> 00:53:58,040
Speaker 2: had to set.

1088
00:53:57,880 --> 00:53:59,879
Speaker 3: Boundaries make it short term.

1089
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:01,919
Speaker 2: My husband and I have been married for almost two

1090
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 2: years and our son is ten months old. We live

1091
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:07,440
Speaker 2: in Canada. I grew up here while my husband immigrated

1092
00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:10,359
Speaker 2: as a student. My parents lived nearby, which has been

1093
00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:13,560
Speaker 2: invaluable during my pregnancy, and since my mom comes over

1094
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:15,839
Speaker 2: regularly to help us out, she and my husband are

1095
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:17,839
Speaker 2: on good terms, so it's been going well. By the way,

1096
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:20,680
Speaker 2: this comes from Reward Specialists thirty three ninety and if

1097
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:22,080
Speaker 2: you want to spend your own stories, go to our

1098
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:25,600
Speaker 2: Slashowkay storytime sub reread it. His parents live in another country.

1099
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:28,120
Speaker 2: We have visited them once since we got married, which

1100
00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:30,560
Speaker 2: was seven months ago. The time before that was our

1101
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:33,279
Speaker 2: wedding itself, which took place there. My husband has been

1102
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:35,920
Speaker 2: talking about his mom visiting soon for a long stay,

1103
00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:38,640
Speaker 2: which I was happy with. We recently moved into our

1104
00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:40,960
Speaker 2: new house. I've done a good job decorating it. We

1105
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:43,239
Speaker 2: have a large guest room, and I was looking forward

1106
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:45,920
Speaker 2: to hosting her, especially since it would make my husband happen.

1107
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:48,359
Speaker 2: A couple of days ago, he was complaining about how

1108
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:51,560
Speaker 2: detailed her visa application was. I told him I was

1109
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:55,080
Speaker 2: surprised it was so thorough. He explained that regular visa

1110
00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:57,560
Speaker 2: forms allow a stay of six months max. But this

1111
00:54:57,640 --> 00:55:00,760
Speaker 2: one allows for two years. I asked why she would

1112
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:03,960
Speaker 2: need to stay for more than six months. He said

1113
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:06,600
Speaker 2: she had been thinking of winding up her medical practice

1114
00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:08,959
Speaker 2: and basically retiring, and this would allow her to stay

1115
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:11,280
Speaker 2: for a longer visit if we all decided it worked.

1116
00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:13,360
Speaker 2: I was stunned. I told him he should just do

1117
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:15,759
Speaker 2: the regular application because his mom wouldn't be staying for

1118
00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:17,320
Speaker 2: anywhere close to six months.

1119
00:55:17,640 --> 00:55:18,359
Speaker 3: Who would want that?

1120
00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:20,080
Speaker 2: In my mind, I had assumed she would be here

1121
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:22,040
Speaker 2: for about a month. That's how long we stayed when

1122
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 2: we visited her. He said that she's his mom. She

1123
00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:27,279
Speaker 2: tells him how alone she feels. She can't go to

1124
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:29,880
Speaker 2: my brother in law's because he lives with roommates, and

1125
00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:31,719
Speaker 2: we can't just put a timer on her visit.

1126
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:34,160
Speaker 3: What's the difference between you and your brother.

1127
00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:35,640
Speaker 2: Because he lives with roommates.

1128
00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:38,240
Speaker 3: I'm sorry that's the reasoning.

1129
00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:40,360
Speaker 2: He said. She's been looking forward to helping us with

1130
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:42,480
Speaker 2: our son, and I've been looking forward to not having

1131
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:43,239
Speaker 2: her in our house.

1132
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:46,160
Speaker 3: So a month, maybe two months, six months is crazy.

1133
00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:48,680
Speaker 3: All should have been communicated way before.

1134
00:55:49,239 --> 00:55:51,520
Speaker 2: I told him we don't need help. We managed fine

1135
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:53,600
Speaker 2: on her own and with my mom's help. I wanted

1136
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 2: to host his mom as a guest, not have her

1137
00:55:55,520 --> 00:55:58,000
Speaker 2: become part of our household. He complained that it wasn't

1138
00:55:58,080 --> 00:56:00,440
Speaker 2: fair and my parents could visit whenever they wanted. Well,

1139
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:01,160
Speaker 2: his couldn't.

1140
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:03,959
Speaker 3: Mama's boy alert Mama's boy.

1141
00:56:04,080 --> 00:56:07,000
Speaker 2: Woo oo ooo. That hurt because my parents have helped

1142
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:09,120
Speaker 2: us out a lot. I asked him if he wanted

1143
00:56:09,160 --> 00:56:11,680
Speaker 2: us to limit how often my mom visits. He said no,

1144
00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:13,960
Speaker 2: that's not what he meant. That he likes her, but

1145
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:16,400
Speaker 2: it wasn't fair to his parents. I told him that

1146
00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:18,680
Speaker 2: when my mom comes, she goes home at the end

1147
00:56:18,719 --> 00:56:20,759
Speaker 2: of the day. That wouldn't be the case with his mom.

1148
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:21,120
Speaker 1: Yet.

1149
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:23,399
Speaker 2: The thing is he's not saying like, oh, I want

1150
00:56:23,440 --> 00:56:25,040
Speaker 2: her to come more often. He's saying, I want her

1151
00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:27,359
Speaker 2: to live in our house for six months straight.

1152
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:28,000
Speaker 3: I want her.

1153
00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:30,560
Speaker 2: I ended the conversation by saying he should look into

1154
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:34,320
Speaker 2: the easier regular visa application because she couldn't be thinking

1155
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:36,880
Speaker 2: of staying that long. That night, he chose to sleep

1156
00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:38,840
Speaker 2: on the couch and has been cold with me since.

1157
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:41,520
Speaker 2: I hate that. We've never been cold to each other

1158
00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:43,959
Speaker 2: like this. I talked to my mom too. She said

1159
00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:46,120
Speaker 2: that having his mom lived with us for long stretches

1160
00:56:46,160 --> 00:56:49,120
Speaker 2: would definitely affect me and that this is worth fighting for.

1161
00:56:49,360 --> 00:56:52,799
Speaker 2: I haven't seen him since working on the application. Last night,

1162
00:56:52,840 --> 00:56:54,799
Speaker 2: he went out when his mom called. When he came back,

1163
00:56:54,880 --> 00:56:56,799
Speaker 2: I asked how she took it. He told me he

1164
00:56:56,840 --> 00:56:59,600
Speaker 2: had said he was looking into what application best suited her.

1165
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:01,600
Speaker 2: Then he asked if I had changed my mind. I

1166
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:04,120
Speaker 2: said no. He just shook his head and started watching TV.

1167
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:05,399
Speaker 3: Am I the A Hole?

1168
00:57:05,440 --> 00:57:09,400
Speaker 2: And there is an update? Say we name no Nay

1169
00:57:10,040 --> 00:57:12,200
Speaker 2: and the names have it? What are you talking about?

1170
00:57:12,280 --> 00:57:15,120
Speaker 2: Am I the A Hole? Your husband is trying to

1171
00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:17,520
Speaker 2: move his mother in for six months.

1172
00:57:17,880 --> 00:57:23,160
Speaker 3: That's insane without talking to you, without having you say anything,

1173
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:23,840
Speaker 3: And then when.

1174
00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:25,680
Speaker 2: You say no, I don't want to do that, he

1175
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:27,800
Speaker 2: tells his mom. Yeah, we're working it out.

1176
00:57:27,880 --> 00:57:31,520
Speaker 3: No, I want my mommy here, Mommy, he's gonna help us,

1177
00:57:31,600 --> 00:57:34,480
Speaker 3: and like he's not that long. He's like, your mom's

1178
00:57:34,480 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 3: here all the time. It's not shut up, shut up.

1179
00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:40,640
Speaker 2: Update. Thank you for the feedback in the original post. Yesterday,

1180
00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:42,880
Speaker 2: when he came back from work, I tried to start

1181
00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:45,080
Speaker 2: the conversation again. You had been giving me the cold

1182
00:57:45,120 --> 00:57:47,440
Speaker 2: shoulders since all this started. I told him I'm his

1183
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:50,160
Speaker 2: wife two years and the mother of his child. This

1184
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:53,880
Speaker 2: isn't how we're going to communicate. We started talking after that.

1185
00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:56,280
Speaker 2: I owed my ground that his mom staying with us

1186
00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 2: for long wasn't tenable. She wanted to visit Canada for

1187
00:57:59,720 --> 00:58:01,720
Speaker 2: long than a couple of months. She would have to

1188
00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:05,000
Speaker 2: live in her own apartment, learn how to drive or

1189
00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:07,840
Speaker 2: use public transport she's used to being driven by a

1190
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:10,480
Speaker 2: higher driver in Pakistan, and a whole bunch of other

1191
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:13,200
Speaker 2: changes that she needed to get used to. I don't

1192
00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:15,840
Speaker 2: see myself changing my mind on this, so he needs

1193
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:17,960
Speaker 2: to be honest with her and himself and not go

1194
00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:20,640
Speaker 2: down the We'll keep her options open realm. He said

1195
00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:22,560
Speaker 2: that he knows her living with us for an extended

1196
00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:25,000
Speaker 2: stay would require some changes on our part, but he

1197
00:58:25,080 --> 00:58:26,880
Speaker 2: was asking me to do this as a favor to

1198
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:29,600
Speaker 2: him that I claim I love him, yet can't do

1199
00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:32,520
Speaker 2: this favor for his mom. That is so manipulative. This

1200
00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:35,480
Speaker 2: isn't a favor. She's living with you guys for six months.

1201
00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:36,280
Speaker 2: That's not a favor.

1202
00:58:36,480 --> 00:58:39,160
Speaker 3: If it was like, oh, the process it takes so

1203
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 3: like three months. OHP's like, doesn't take that long exactly.

1204
00:58:42,600 --> 00:58:45,240
Speaker 2: I actually started sobbing when he said this. It was

1205
00:58:45,320 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 2: so hurtful that he was using this as a litmus

1206
00:58:47,560 --> 00:58:49,760
Speaker 2: test for our love. I said her being around for

1207
00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:52,720
Speaker 2: years would ruin our parenthood with our first child. I

1208
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:54,800
Speaker 2: want us to raise our child the way we see fit,

1209
00:58:55,080 --> 00:58:58,040
Speaker 2: not his mom. Also, all the intimate moments we have,

1210
00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:02,120
Speaker 2: our spicy sleep life, everything suffer. My parents are Pakistani two.

1211
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:04,400
Speaker 2: I know this will happen. He again asked me not

1212
00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:06,760
Speaker 2: to just shut the door completely, that I'll tell his

1213
00:59:06,800 --> 00:59:08,360
Speaker 2: mom the steak can only be a month or so,

1214
00:59:08,720 --> 00:59:10,479
Speaker 2: and I can let him know if the change wasn't

1215
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:13,280
Speaker 2: too much, And we landed on a compromise that for

1216
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:16,040
Speaker 2: now they'll do the regular visa app that only allows

1217
00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:18,920
Speaker 2: a max stay of six months. If I changed my mind,

1218
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:21,960
Speaker 2: he'll do the super visa. You didn't compromise. That's like

1219
00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:22,680
Speaker 2: he got his way.

1220
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:24,600
Speaker 3: It sounds like he was just like I gave him.

1221
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:26,560
Speaker 2: He then had a long call with his mom, which

1222
00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:29,560
Speaker 2: his older sister also joined, and actually lasted an hour

1223
00:59:29,600 --> 00:59:31,200
Speaker 2: and a half. He was in the backyard for the

1224
00:59:31,200 --> 00:59:33,200
Speaker 2: call and came back in to grab a chair. It

1225
00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:35,320
Speaker 2: was that long also, from what I could see, he

1226
00:59:35,400 --> 00:59:38,080
Speaker 2: was mostly listening during the conversation. When he came back,

1227
00:59:38,120 --> 00:59:40,160
Speaker 2: he told me to just not answer any calls or

1228
00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:43,280
Speaker 2: messages from his mom or sister. Meanwhile, I've received like

1229
00:59:43,400 --> 00:59:46,880
Speaker 2: four miss calls and twenty messages from them, mostly Islamic

1230
00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:49,200
Speaker 2: quotes about the rights of parents. I told him that

1231
00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:51,439
Speaker 2: I can't talk right now since I'm busy with my son.

1232
00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:53,560
Speaker 2: That's my ride as a parent. I asked him how

1233
00:59:53,560 --> 00:59:55,760
Speaker 2: it went, and he said as well as he could

1234
00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:56,400
Speaker 2: have expected.

1235
00:59:56,640 --> 00:59:58,680
Speaker 3: How did go? Why do you think you're getting so

1236
00:59:58,840 --> 00:59:59,880
Speaker 3: many app phone calls?

1237
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:02,960
Speaker 2: He's like, obviously not good, but he's not giving me

1238
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:05,880
Speaker 2: the cold shoulder anymore. I do feel guilty because, like

1239
01:00:05,920 --> 01:00:08,440
Speaker 2: I said, I was actually looking forward to hosting her

1240
01:00:08,440 --> 01:00:09,960
Speaker 2: for a month. I think this whole thing may have

1241
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:12,760
Speaker 2: caused irreparable damage not just to my relationship with my

1242
01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:14,880
Speaker 2: mother in law and sister in law, but my husband's

1243
01:00:14,920 --> 01:00:17,080
Speaker 2: relationship with his mom and sister. I've told my mother

1244
01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:18,680
Speaker 2: in law i'll call her back in a couple of

1245
01:00:18,720 --> 01:00:21,920
Speaker 2: hours once my husband's back. I'm dreading that conversation, but

1246
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:24,040
Speaker 2: I know what my boundaries are. Thank you for the

1247
01:00:24,040 --> 01:00:27,080
Speaker 2: feedback it helped and edit. Also one thing that I

1248
01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:29,320
Speaker 2: had to clarify a few times last post. A lot

1249
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:31,160
Speaker 2: of people were like, this is what happens when you

1250
01:00:31,160 --> 01:00:33,040
Speaker 2: marry out sid your culture. My husband and I are

1251
01:00:33,040 --> 01:00:35,680
Speaker 2: both of Pakistani descent. Just thought I was born here

1252
01:00:35,920 --> 01:00:38,240
Speaker 2: while he immigrated here as a student. But he's been

1253
01:00:38,280 --> 01:00:40,720
Speaker 2: here for like a decade now too. And there is

1254
01:00:40,760 --> 01:00:43,280
Speaker 2: a second update. It seems like you're handling this the

1255
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:46,160
Speaker 2: right way. Seems like your husband is finally listening to you, which.

1256
01:00:46,040 --> 01:00:48,959
Speaker 3: Just understanding, like you know what my wife's is down.

1257
01:00:49,120 --> 01:00:49,880
Speaker 3: I will respect that.

1258
01:00:50,040 --> 01:00:52,640
Speaker 2: I will respect it. Update two. I spoke to my

1259
01:00:52,680 --> 01:00:55,200
Speaker 2: mother in law since her miscalls and text messages were

1260
01:00:55,240 --> 01:00:57,160
Speaker 2: asking me to call her. I figured I should be

1261
01:00:57,200 --> 01:00:59,240
Speaker 2: the one to call, not my husband, but I put

1262
01:00:59,240 --> 01:01:01,000
Speaker 2: my phone on speaker so that my husband, who was

1263
01:01:01,040 --> 01:01:02,960
Speaker 2: lying on the couch could also hear it. She said

1264
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:04,640
Speaker 2: that my husband had told her he thought it'd be

1265
01:01:04,640 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 2: best if she restricts her trip to one month, since

1266
01:01:07,120 --> 01:01:09,120
Speaker 2: it was her first time in Canada and because we

1267
01:01:09,120 --> 01:01:11,080
Speaker 2: were really busy with my son. She said that ever

1268
01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:13,320
Speaker 2: since my husband had gone to Canada as an eighteen

1269
01:01:13,400 --> 01:01:15,440
Speaker 2: year old, he'd always wanted her to visit for a

1270
01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:17,960
Speaker 2: long duration. Now all of a sudden, he was asking

1271
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:20,000
Speaker 2: her restrict it when she wanted to help her with

1272
01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:22,320
Speaker 2: her grandson. She said she knew I must be the

1273
01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:24,840
Speaker 2: reason why. I said it was a joint decision because

1274
01:01:24,880 --> 01:01:27,160
Speaker 2: of the circumstances, but she wouldn't hear of it. She

1275
01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:29,200
Speaker 2: said that if her visiting for more than a month

1276
01:01:29,320 --> 01:01:31,720
Speaker 2: was so outrageous to us, then that's fine she would

1277
01:01:31,760 --> 01:01:34,000
Speaker 2: limit her stay. But I should know that in Pakistan

1278
01:01:34,120 --> 01:01:35,800
Speaker 2: in laws live in the same house, but the married

1279
01:01:35,800 --> 01:01:38,240
Speaker 2: couple like my sister in law does heay, because we're

1280
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:38,760
Speaker 2: in Canada.

1281
01:01:38,880 --> 01:01:41,120
Speaker 3: Yeah? Literally, where are we Canada.

1282
01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:43,000
Speaker 2: She also said that she had thought I was in

1283
01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:45,400
Speaker 2: touch with my Islamic in Pakistani roots when I was

1284
01:01:45,440 --> 01:01:47,600
Speaker 2: getting married, because that's what my husband had told her,

1285
01:01:47,640 --> 01:01:49,800
Speaker 2: But she was disappointed at how whitewashed.

1286
01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:51,640
Speaker 3: I was, Oh, wow, now we're getting there.

1287
01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:54,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, just the laying on the guilt ripping.

1288
01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:57,439
Speaker 3: You're just mad you didn't get your way, mad because bad.

1289
01:01:57,720 --> 01:01:58,040
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1290
01:01:58,080 --> 01:02:00,320
Speaker 2: At this point, my husband asked me to give him

1291
01:02:00,360 --> 01:02:02,360
Speaker 2: the phone, but not before I told her that I

1292
01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:05,040
Speaker 2: was totally comfortable with how in tune with my heritage

1293
01:02:05,080 --> 01:02:07,320
Speaker 2: I was, and apparently so was her son. I handed

1294
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:09,440
Speaker 2: him the phone and he went into the yard to talk,

1295
01:02:09,480 --> 01:02:12,160
Speaker 2: but I was so angry I decided to eavesdrop. He

1296
01:02:12,240 --> 01:02:14,240
Speaker 2: was talking to both my mother in law and father

1297
01:02:14,320 --> 01:02:15,960
Speaker 2: in law. He told him that it's not like he

1298
01:02:16,040 --> 01:02:17,640
Speaker 2: fled to Canada in the middle of the night as

1299
01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:19,840
Speaker 2: a student. They both had happily seen him off at

1300
01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:22,400
Speaker 2: the airport, and when he had introduced me, he hadn't

1301
01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:24,000
Speaker 2: kept the fact that I was born and raised in

1302
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:26,520
Speaker 2: Canada a secret either. He told him, they can't expect

1303
01:02:26,520 --> 01:02:29,240
Speaker 2: to treat us like a couple in Pakistan. By the way,

1304
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:32,160
Speaker 2: you can't expect to listen to full episodes stories just

1305
01:02:32,360 --> 01:02:35,600
Speaker 2: like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio

1306
01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:38,240
Speaker 2: and search at Boky storytime. But there is a little

1307
01:02:38,280 --> 01:02:40,640
Speaker 2: bit left to the story. Do you have any final thoughts.

1308
01:02:40,720 --> 01:02:42,680
Speaker 3: The one thing that was said in like that last

1309
01:02:43,120 --> 01:02:45,120
Speaker 3: my son wanted me to visit him for so long

1310
01:02:45,160 --> 01:02:46,720
Speaker 3: and wanted me to stay for so long when he

1311
01:02:46,840 --> 01:02:47,800
Speaker 3: was eighteen.

1312
01:02:48,240 --> 01:02:49,919
Speaker 2: When he was eighteen, he had just left home.

1313
01:02:50,160 --> 01:02:51,760
Speaker 3: He was like, Yeah, I want my mom to see

1314
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:53,280
Speaker 3: where I'm I live now now.

1315
01:02:53,280 --> 01:02:55,880
Speaker 2: Not when he's got a baby and you.

1316
01:02:55,880 --> 01:02:58,680
Speaker 3: Have a family. That's like, what are you saying?

1317
01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:01,240
Speaker 2: Gosh, but there's a little bit left. Then he listened

1318
01:03:01,240 --> 01:03:02,920
Speaker 2: a whole lot for like a half an hour. I

1319
01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:05,040
Speaker 2: gave him a chair again and kept telling him that

1320
01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:07,800
Speaker 2: it's different now. They ended the call with him saying

1321
01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:09,840
Speaker 2: that we were both really looking forward to her visit

1322
01:03:10,080 --> 01:03:12,160
Speaker 2: and that will make sure it's a great thirty or

1323
01:03:12,160 --> 01:03:14,880
Speaker 2: so days with us and her grandson. He apologized to

1324
01:03:14,920 --> 01:03:17,080
Speaker 2: me on behalf of his mom and asked me to

1325
01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:19,400
Speaker 2: please let her lecture go and still be on board

1326
01:03:19,440 --> 01:03:21,480
Speaker 2: with the one month plan. I'm looking forward to it

1327
01:03:21,560 --> 01:03:23,880
Speaker 2: much less than I was, And I said, fine, I

1328
01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:26,200
Speaker 2: think you know, I think this is the best way

1329
01:03:26,360 --> 01:03:26,880
Speaker 2: could have gone.

1330
01:03:26,960 --> 01:03:29,960
Speaker 3: Honestly, I want to give it the circumstances. Hopefully the

1331
01:03:30,040 --> 01:03:32,400
Speaker 3: trip went well, hope, but like.

1332
01:03:32,360 --> 01:03:34,320
Speaker 2: I hope, so I hope she's not making all this fuss.

1333
01:03:34,360 --> 01:03:36,320
Speaker 3: A month is a very long time.

1334
01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:39,120
Speaker 2: It's a long time with a kid. Yeah, yeah, I

1335
01:03:39,120 --> 01:03:40,040
Speaker 2: mean six months would have been.

1336
01:03:41,640 --> 01:03:43,400
Speaker 3: And you guess what, if you like it, you can

1337
01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:45,600
Speaker 3: come back exactly what I think, that's what you should

1338
01:03:45,600 --> 01:03:48,760
Speaker 3: always do. A month is two to like four weeks

1339
01:03:48,880 --> 01:03:51,520
Speaker 3: is a perfect amount of seeing a country. If you

1340
01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:53,680
Speaker 3: like it, if you don't like it, if you love it, Yeah,

1341
01:03:53,720 --> 01:03:55,520
Speaker 3: if you made it, move there.

1342
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:57,560
Speaker 2: Honestly, Yeah, you don't have to move in with us.

1343
01:03:57,400 --> 01:03:59,680
Speaker 3: But you can move six months on a long test trial.

1344
01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:02,560
Speaker 2: But that is the end of that story.