Speaker 1: Of the law and order franchises. SVU is considered especially watchable.
Speaker 2: We are the amateur detectives who kind of investigate the
Speaker 2: vicious felonies.
Speaker 3: These episodes are based on.
Speaker 1: These are our stories.
Speaker 4: Done done, Yay.
Speaker 1: Hello, Welcome to the first episode of that Messed Up
Speaker 1: n SVU podcast. We are comedians slash sv super fans.
Speaker 1: I'm Kara Clink, I'm Liza Trigger and we're very excited.
Speaker 1: We're so excited.
Speaker 2: And obviously this is about SVU true crime and we
Speaker 2: will get into all of that. But first we want
Speaker 2: to introduce each other because I guess.
Speaker 1: It's like a first date. We want you guys to
Speaker 1: know who we are, Like, who are these random women
Speaker 1: that are.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that look beautiful in our drawing and lego, You're like, who, who?
Speaker 2: Who are these gals with such great hair?
Speaker 3: And we will let you know. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So we're both comedians. I've been doing comedy for about
Speaker 1: twelve years, stand up comedy for about twelve years. I'm
Speaker 1: married to another stand up comedian. We have a twenty
Speaker 1: month old toddler baby girl, and.
Speaker 2: Rosie did start saying my name. I don't know if
Speaker 2: you didn't want to tell anyone her name.
Speaker 1: But Rosie does say Liza's name. And also she now
Speaker 1: when I am busy, she goes mama podcasts like, so
Speaker 1: she'll be like even if I'm like in the bathroom,
Speaker 1: I can hear her being like mama podcast.
Speaker 2: My favorite is when she goes nut Anyways, I'm a
Speaker 2: comedian as well. I've been doing it eleven years. Nine
Speaker 2: is when I started, and you know, I dabble in
Speaker 2: some acting, but mostly mostly we do comedy. And I
Speaker 2: am not married. I would like to be married. My
Speaker 2: ulterior motive to my whole career is to find a spouse.
Speaker 2: But you can't be like to you can't know too
Speaker 2: much about me, but you have Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I am looking for a wife. I will settle for
Speaker 2: a husband, but I would prefer I would prefer a wife.
Speaker 2: And then I but I am child free by choice.
Speaker 2: But I'm an aunt in the traditional sense where I have
Speaker 2: nieces and nephews. And then I do feel like I
Speaker 2: have kind of babies coast to coast that I like
Speaker 2: buying presents for and hugging.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that.
Speaker 1: May definitely have a relationship with my daughter. So I'll
Speaker 1: tell people a little bit about you Lisa, so that
Speaker 1: you don't actually have to like brag on yourself, because
Speaker 1: you do have a very impressive life slash resume. Lisa
Speaker 1: came to this country at age three from Russia. She
Speaker 1: has it's like, actually very delightful to hear her speak
Speaker 1: in like rush English to her parents on the phone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's even better is trying to explain to my
Speaker 2: parents what a podcast is. That's been the most fun
Speaker 2: thing to try to explain. She's a Chicago native. She
Speaker 2: moved to New York after doing stand up in Chicago.
Speaker 1: For a long time, and that's where we met Hanna,
Speaker 1: who is our intrepid producer. Hannah Say Hi, what's up.
Speaker 1: If you ever hear a third voice talking on our podcast,
Speaker 1: it's usually Hannah, our amazingly organized producer. We both have
Speaker 1: known her for years and years through comedy. Lisa has
Speaker 1: had a half hour on Comedy Central. She's got a
Speaker 1: half hour special on Netflix as part of the Degenerates. Also,
Speaker 1: she says she dabbles in acting. She recently I thought
Speaker 1: was a scene stealer in the Amazon movie King of
Speaker 1: Staten Island. So if you want to go check that
Speaker 1: out and get a little bit more of an idea
Speaker 1: of what if you want to see me in a
Speaker 1: low ponytail and a tie.
Speaker 3: That's movie.
Speaker 1: That's what your waitress outfit in that movie is exactly
Speaker 1: like what my waitress outfit was like pretty much like
Speaker 1: just so unflattering. I had a clip on tie, like
Speaker 1: I very much identified with your character.
Speaker 2: And in the makeup chair, I kept being like, are
Speaker 2: you sure we just can't raise the ponytail maybe a
Speaker 2: fun messy bun, and they're like no, And I kept
Speaker 2: trying to fight and they're like jud said no. I'm like,
Speaker 2: I just can't imagine jud Is like give her a
Speaker 2: low ponytail or else this side park and jellet down.
Speaker 2: But I guess he did do that. You were also
Speaker 2: an amazing stand up and I guess I did just
Speaker 2: call myself amazing.
Speaker 3: But we are.
Speaker 2: And I loved going to your album recording. Your album
Speaker 2: Undefeated is so fucking good. I love the Disney Princess joke.
Speaker 2: There's a if you're looking for the best transitional lenses
Speaker 2: joke that there is. Undefeated is the album for you.
Speaker 2: And I remember sitting on the floor and it was
Speaker 2: because it was sold out and it was so much
Speaker 2: fun and then you are a very skilled writer. I
Speaker 2: always love when I type how I talk into something
Speaker 2: and then you make it palatable for the world and grammar,
Speaker 2: which is amazing. But yeah, girl code younger and then
Speaker 2: the biggest brag of all fucking time, as you wrote
Speaker 2: for drag Race, which is amazing. We like to say
Speaker 2: our ven diagram of friendship is SVU Drag Race Housewives.
Speaker 3: That is us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we love housewives and back today you're gonna get
Speaker 1: a little taste of housewives.
Speaker 3: And we didn't even plan that. That's pretty fucking cool.
Speaker 2: It just naturally are all of our passions collide. Now,
Speaker 2: I just need Miley Cyrus to do an episode and
Speaker 2: I'll wear.
Speaker 1: There have a bit more drag Queen episodes also of
Speaker 1: U s view. We need to facilitate that.
Speaker 3: I'll message some agents.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so yeah, we have a lot of common interests.
Speaker 2: And before I met you, Kara, I like, even though
Speaker 2: I was living in Chicago, I knew who you were,
Speaker 2: and I think you knew like all girl comics know
Speaker 2: each other, right, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're all like
Speaker 2: pretty on board with each other.
Speaker 3: And when we started there were less.
Speaker 2: Now it's like so fun to have so many Housewife
Speaker 2: fans as comedians everywhere. But we met at UCB East
Speaker 2: at your show If You Build.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we had we had met, I think, but this
Speaker 1: was like the first time we truly connected was at
Speaker 1: my show. In the green room. We started talking about
Speaker 1: how we both like one of us brought up us
Speaker 1: for you and we were like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: love that. And then you told me about this Twitter account. Yes,
Speaker 1: doink Doink, which is and it's amazing.
Speaker 2: It will it tweets anytime any Law and Order is
Speaker 2: on television, what episode, what channel, and when it starts,
Speaker 2: and it influences my life.
Speaker 3: Sometimes I'm on Twitter and I'm like, oh my.
Speaker 2: God, in three minutes and I'll like go to eye
Speaker 2: on immediately.
Speaker 1: So yeah, we discovered that we both love SVU, we
Speaker 1: both love true crime. We have a favorite forensic pathologist
Speaker 1: in common.
Speaker 3: Doctor Michael Badden.
Speaker 1: I don't we love him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you have another favorite, let us know, because
Speaker 2: he is the king of.
Speaker 4: Lee.
Speaker 1: Doctor Lee is a good one, the one who did
Speaker 1: like I think OJ and stuff like that. He's also
Speaker 1: a good friends of pathologist.
Speaker 2: But doctor Topsy, it was just so good because people
Speaker 2: would write to him and be like please help, please.
Speaker 2: You got to switch the death certificate to be not
Speaker 2: natural so we can investigate. And I just love that
Speaker 2: he's a superhero and travels with his little briefcase from
Speaker 2: town to town solving crimes. But yeah, and we love
Speaker 2: SVU in the way that I'm assuming everyone does, which
Speaker 2: is you want to have sex with either Christopher Maloney
Speaker 2: or Murushka harget Day or both of them at the
Speaker 2: same time. Like that is that now while we're watching
Speaker 2: a glimpse of Stabler shirtless and angry and you know,
Speaker 2: contemplating about his divorce, that's what that's what we want.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have like loved this show from the beginning.
Speaker 1: It premiered on my birthday in nineteen ninety nine, really,
Speaker 1: so yeah, it's a I think it's written in the
Speaker 1: stars for me to be obsessed with the show.
Speaker 2: I remember one time I went to a Pailey Center
Speaker 2: event and it was the SVU panel, and I bought
Speaker 2: my ticket too late, so I didn't even get to
Speaker 2: sit in the room with the people. I had to
Speaker 2: sit in a side room at the event and watch
Speaker 2: it on the screen. And then afterwards, me and a
Speaker 2: few like ten women just stood outside in the rain,
Speaker 2: waiting to see Marishka and Peter walk out, and then
Speaker 2: afterwards we were just deflated.
Speaker 3: And if you were.
Speaker 2: One of those women, please let me know if you
Speaker 2: were standing in the rain with me.
Speaker 1: And you can do that at That's Messed Up pod
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com.
Speaker 5: I watch.
Speaker 2: Because I did feel very I felt happy to see
Speaker 2: a glimpse of them together and in love, but then
Speaker 2: also sad for myself that I was willing to get
Speaker 2: wet just to look at her once.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: She lived on my same neighborhood in New York for
Speaker 1: eleven years and I never saw. My sister did, but
Speaker 1: I never saw her. If we can see, I mean
Speaker 1: it's her house. I would love to see that. She
Speaker 1: needs to do a seventy three questions. I'm on for Vogue.
Speaker 1: I want to see the inside of her home so bad.
Speaker 1: So this podcast is two years in the making, over
Speaker 1: two years. I originally came up with this idea in
Speaker 1: like twenty seventeen and had a sorry Lisa, I had
Speaker 1: a different partner associated we recorded a bunch of episodes
Speaker 1: together and then just scheduling wise, it wasn't going to
Speaker 1: work out with her. She's her name is Jackie Zebrowski.
Speaker 1: You should all follow her and listen to her podcast.
Speaker 1: Page seven is one of her podcasts, and it's very popular,
Speaker 1: and I don't think she just had time for this.
Speaker 2: So yeah, thank you, Jackie. Honestly so glad you couldn't
Speaker 2: do it. This is a dream come true that now
Speaker 2: when I watch us view.
Speaker 3: We're like, what are you doing. I'm like, I'm working.
Speaker 3: I can't do anything with you.
Speaker 1: So Lisa perfectly was moving to LA at the same time,
Speaker 1: so it like all worked out, and then you know,
Speaker 1: we ended up going to pitching exactly right, and Hannah
Speaker 1: had already been thinking of doing something like this, so
Speaker 1: it was like a perfect match.
Speaker 2: What I love so much is in the emails, Like
Speaker 2: when our manager messaged us to say that Hannah also
Speaker 2: wanted to do an SU podcast was the same day
Speaker 2: that you gave birth to Rosie. Yeah, so it's just
Speaker 2: so cute that I'm like, oh, this is great news.
Speaker 2: She is in labor. But then I still emailed you
Speaker 2: being like, I know you're in labor, but we have
Speaker 2: to write this thing for the thing, and our manager
Speaker 2: was like, leave Kara alone.
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, okay, you're right.
Speaker 3: You're right, we should let her give birth to Rosie.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, so a labor of love. This has been
Speaker 1: a long time coming and we're so excited that now
Speaker 1: you guys are hearing it. And it's called that's messed up,
Speaker 1: and that is a for those who know and for
Speaker 1: those who don't, it is a reference to Iced Tea.
Speaker 1: Iced Ta used to say that's messed up all the time.
Speaker 1: Apparently writers it was apparently it was a big drinking
Speaker 1: game and the writers stopped writing it in for him.
Speaker 1: But from seasons like two to nine or ten, I
Speaker 1: think you can catch Iced Tea saying, oh, that's messed
Speaker 1: up about a lot of stuff, and it's true. Like
Speaker 1: when Lie'sa and I are researching these true crimes or
Speaker 1: watching these episodes, we definitely say that to each other
Speaker 1: all the time.
Speaker 3: Yes, very heinous crimes. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So essentially the layout of the show, in case you're
Speaker 1: just stumbling upon it right now, is we are going
Speaker 1: to jump all over the show's twenty two season history.
Speaker 1: We're going to pick episodes that we like and that
Speaker 1: are based on true crimes, and we're going to do
Speaker 1: a recap, little analysis of the episode, and then we're
Speaker 1: going to do a deep dive into the true crime
Speaker 1: that the episode is based on, and then.
Speaker 2: Our dream come true for us as we get to
Speaker 2: interview and act from the show from that episode. So
Speaker 2: every episode we get to talk to a person from
Speaker 2: the episode.
Speaker 3: Can you believe it? Oh my god, And.
Speaker 1: We're talking to some really awesome people. So yeah, we're
Speaker 1: really excited.
Speaker 2: And we recognize that Sview is a fantasy about the
Speaker 2: legal system, and we love the show, we love the characters,
Speaker 2: but we do also realize this is not the reality
Speaker 2: of how cops behave. This is absolutely not how the
Speaker 2: justice system works, and we plan to call that out
Speaker 2: whenever we can.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, the show is called SVU and the
Speaker 1: show is about special victims, and our podcast is called
Speaker 1: That's Messed Up. So obviously we plan to tackle some
Speaker 1: pretty intense subject matter, whether it is fictional or not.
Speaker 1: And we're comedians, so our goal is to entertain, but
Speaker 1: we will also be taking a page from Olivia Benson's
Speaker 1: book and always being respectful of the victims and our listeners.
Speaker 2: So we're going to get into our episode. And side note,
Speaker 2: we did record this before the election, so if you
Speaker 2: hear us talking about forty five as present day. That's
Speaker 2: because we did not have our celebratory election yet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're so excited for you guys to hear this
Speaker 1: podcast and to get started. And I mean, ultimately my
Speaker 1: goal is just to be able to afford Hulu without ads, guys, and.
Speaker 2: I want to meet those women in the rain and
Speaker 2: find a spouse. No, and we need and we want
Speaker 2: to be guest stars on the show.
Speaker 3: We want this.
Speaker 2: We need to become so popular that the SV writer's
Speaker 2: room is like, well, I guess these ladies have.
Speaker 1: To find a dead body. They just let us find
Speaker 1: a body. We're not asking to like be incorporated into
Speaker 1: the cat. We just want to find a body.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Pre theme song, pre theme song. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay,
Speaker 1: let's get into Bully Season twelve, episode eighteen. This starts
Speaker 1: with like the classic disclaimer that's like, this is a
Speaker 1: fictional story and does not depict any real person or event.
Speaker 3: We don't believe you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we started a podcast about it. It also starts
Speaker 1: in an art gallery and it made me miss New York.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, it starts singling wine. This episode opens hot
Speaker 1: with a cameo from Viva La Diva herself Luenela Countess
Speaker 1: Luenne de la Sepp.
Speaker 2: Can you believe that our interests just intertwine so hard?
Speaker 1: And she was wearing a silly hat too. I'm actually like, no,
Speaker 1: she's not. But I'm actually really surprised that more Housewives
Speaker 1: have not done cameos on this, Like I feel like
Speaker 1: they get like Paty, No, not Patrie. What's the name
Speaker 1: pat the guy from New York one.
Speaker 3: I have no idea.
Speaker 1: He's like iconic New York guy. He's always like doing
Speaker 1: little news clips other episodes we're watching. I have Tamaron Hall,
Speaker 1: like all kinds of like New York journalistic people and
Speaker 1: uh Sus Simmons like Chuck Scarborough, like people that do
Speaker 1: local news in New York are always in these episodes,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, the Housewives are part of that canon.
Speaker 2: I just wonder if, shockingly lu Anne is the best
Speaker 2: actor of them.
Speaker 1: All, Like I know maybe that like Ramona, like I
Speaker 1: don't know how to behave, I don't know they know
Speaker 1: how to behave in there.
Speaker 3: Ramona is a terror.
Speaker 2: I mean, Luanne's nuts, But yeah, I think Luanne has
Speaker 2: a level of professionalism that maybe the other queen's and.
Speaker 1: She just had to play. She just had to play
Speaker 1: like sort of a pompous like art person and that
Speaker 1: kind of like works for her. Uh so, yeah, we
Speaker 1: started this gallery opening Leuyne like Waltz is in like
Speaker 1: just yelling the name of the artist in the middle
Speaker 1: of a gallery, just Andreas, where are you? And who
Speaker 1: walks into an event like that? She brings him back
Speaker 1: back like to like the behind the scenes of the
Speaker 1: art gallery to be like, I love this new piece
Speaker 1: you did. It's so beautiful and it's just drips of
Speaker 1: red going down a wall. And he's like, that's not
Speaker 1: my piece of art, that's real blood. So dunt dun
Speaker 1: you know how some they should have an all musical
Speaker 1: episode of sv you okay, I mean that's definitely something
Speaker 1: you could pitch. I don't know how that Daria did it?
Speaker 3: Why not?
Speaker 1: So the blood is coming from upstairs where all like
Speaker 1: a body has been murdered, the body of Ellen Seslin.
Speaker 1: She's the CSFO of a company called Luscious Grape, which
Speaker 1: is like a high end alcohol distributor, and she's just
Speaker 1: lying there with her blood pooling down this vent that
Speaker 1: has now gone into the art gallery. The cause of
Speaker 1: death is an exsanguinated from a severed carotid. She also
Speaker 1: has anal trauma. There's no DNA and there's signs of
Speaker 1: a struggle.
Speaker 2: And this always reminds me of the John mulaney joke,
Speaker 2: and I'm mad at him so hard that he has
Speaker 2: the best SVU jokes that have ever been written and
Speaker 2: every episode but it is like, you know, you can't
Speaker 2: swear on TV, but you can.
Speaker 3: Say anal trauma.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not even before the credits, like what the Oh,
Speaker 1: the credits are just getting started when they're talking about
Speaker 1: anal trauma. And so yeah, they find out that the
Speaker 1: show downstairs is called Dollars in Death The Politics of Blood.
Speaker 1: So it's all just very coincidental. And the squad initially
Speaker 1: thinks that this is just like a date gone wrong,
Speaker 1: and that's how we piece out of the cold open.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: So we go to the site of Luscious Grape. So
Speaker 1: you need to understand to understand this episode, you got
Speaker 1: to meet all the characters at the Luscious Grape Company. Okay,
Speaker 1: this high end liquor distributor, wine and alcohol distributor. So
Speaker 1: the first person do not fancy or sexy job like
Speaker 1: of all the businesses, it's just like a distributor no,
Speaker 1: when you work in wine and alcohol distribution like you do,
Speaker 1: like wine and dine big clients, like I do, think
Speaker 1: it is a kind of a cool I don't know.
Speaker 1: I know people who work at like Diagio and like
Speaker 1: big alcohol companies and you get to go to like
Speaker 1: a lot of parties and like do and it sounds
Speaker 1: like a pretty fun job.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: You could sell booze like this tastes great.
Speaker 2: I did always when I waitress, get excited when the
Speaker 2: beer guys would come, you.
Speaker 3: Know, yeah, like you want this beer.
Speaker 1: For example, here's some koozies.
Speaker 3: I did enjoy that.
Speaker 1: I think it's really the next natural step would be
Speaker 1: you weren't running an international company of alcohol distribution.
Speaker 3: Too many spreadsheets?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, working on this with you, I'm like
Speaker 2: so impressed with your organization and all the tabs and
Speaker 2: the spreadsheets, and so I was, you know, hyping you
Speaker 2: up to a friend and she goes, yeah, we make spreadsheets.
Speaker 3: I work in an office.
Speaker 1: Why are you?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have spreadsheets. And then someone else was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: tabs in a spreadsheet.
Speaker 3: I do that too. Like no one is shocked.
Speaker 2: They've been doing it for decades and I've been talking
Speaker 2: about it for two weeks NonStop.
Speaker 1: How there's multiple tabs in a spreadsheet. Never seen it before,
Speaker 1: but hey, I love your adoration of my spreadsheet, so
Speaker 1: you can keep it coming, Okay. So basically on the
Speaker 1: Luscious Grabe website, there's this super fucking weird video. It's
Speaker 1: like a cult recruitment video, honestly, Like you first meet
Speaker 1: a nett Cole who is the president CEO. Then you
Speaker 1: meet Ellen, who is the dead woman, who is the CFO,
Speaker 1: and it's like they we started this in our garage
Speaker 1: Jersey City. I'm like, okay, and then what is this
Speaker 1: whole thing with starting companies and garages? And we all
Speaker 1: have to give it round of applause? No one cares. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's crazy. You had a garage in Jersey City. I
Speaker 1: lived in a one bedroom apartment in New York with
Speaker 1: two one window. So you meet all the different characters
Speaker 1: at this place. I'm gonna just break it down for
Speaker 1: you who they all are. So there's kind of like
Speaker 1: a young douche named Justin. There's a young girl like
Speaker 1: a baby spice named Carinn. There's an old Australian dude
Speaker 1: named Donald, and then there's like a gay dude named Bruce.
Speaker 1: I would never just call somebody just the gay dude,
Speaker 1: but they literally do that in the episode like ten times,
Speaker 1: Like it's his only identity is that he's a gay
Speaker 1: man and his name is Bruce. And his name is Bruce.
Speaker 3: That's the gayest name on earth.
Speaker 1: So those are the main characters that we meet in
Speaker 1: this like insane recruitment video, and all they talk about
Speaker 1: is how like much they love working there and how
Speaker 1: it's this like amazing workplace. And I'm like, you just know,
Speaker 1: somebody thought something's fucked. No one talks about their workplace
Speaker 1: that way, Like you can be like, oh, it's great
Speaker 1: to work here, but they're like, this is a family.
Speaker 1: It's just too creepy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know something from the internet.
Speaker 2: If company keeps saying we're family, that's not sign Yeah.
Speaker 1: So their luscious grape dot net is their website. I
Speaker 1: guess lusciuscrape dot com was taken by like a drag
Speaker 1: queen or something. They're also I need to point out
Speaker 1: to our producer there is a co producer on the
Speaker 1: show named Speedweed. We need to get that person for
Speaker 1: an interview. Just let's make a note like who is Speedweed.
Speaker 1: I always see their name in the credits, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: are you a man or you a woman? I need
Speaker 1: to know more about Speedweed. So a neighbor approaches Benson.
Speaker 1: A stabler tells them that Andreas the artist is kind
Speaker 1: of a creep that turns out to be sort of
Speaker 1: a dead end. He's like a douche, but he's not
Speaker 1: the guy that killed Ellen. He goes for hotter girls.
Speaker 1: Basically like this is another episode where they keep acting
Speaker 1: like Ellen is the ugliest woman on the planet, but
Speaker 1: she's actually just like a perfectly lovely looking person who's
Speaker 1: not a supermodel. And Andreas has continued to use Ellen's
Speaker 1: blood on an art piece, which is creepy, but he
Speaker 1: has an alibi, so he's not He's not like a
Speaker 1: suspect anymore. So then we get into meeting Annette cole
Speaker 1: in person, who is the CEO and founder of the company.
Speaker 1: She's like, Ellen was my best friend, the younger sister
Speaker 1: I never had, we had dinner the night before. Luscious
Speaker 1: Grape was our life, Jersey City family whatever. It's like
Speaker 1: Red Flag Central. I think, I mean, just the way
Speaker 1: she's talking, like no one has I don't know such
Speaker 1: a perfect relationship with their coworker and business partner. But
Speaker 1: maybe I'm jaded.
Speaker 2: We also have to lie to the cops because if
Speaker 2: you say one thing, it could be used against you.
Speaker 2: What if she was like, yeah, she was kind of lazy,
Speaker 2: and then.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're like it's you. Yeah, Amanda an Ox, perfect example,
Speaker 1: said a couple weird things and was in jail for
Speaker 1: like three years. Okay, so Bruce kind of gives us
Speaker 1: an insight into Ellen. That's a little bit different saying
Speaker 1: that she was a blast at parties. They call her
Speaker 1: a fruit fly. I don't think we're allowed to say
Speaker 1: that anymore. It's like there's a couple words for women
Speaker 1: that have a lot of gay male friends, and I
Speaker 1: don't think any of them really fly anymore, including fruit flies.
Speaker 1: Fruitfly is probably the nicest, probably the nicest, but I
Speaker 1: don't think that many gig guys like being called a fruit.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this episode they call them a fruit four times,
Speaker 1: Like it's very I mean, what year is this episode from.
Speaker 2: It's uh, I just have so many fruit tattoos that
Speaker 2: to me, it only only gives me.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I know, it's like I would love to be fruity,
Speaker 1: but I understand, you know. Yeah, So Bruce reveals that
Speaker 1: they've gone to AA. She's sober, so it appears she's
Speaker 1: been drinking the night of the murder. So that's a
Speaker 1: weird thing.
Speaker 2: Like yeah, they say, they say that she gets drunk
Speaker 2: so she can fuck because no one wants to fuck
Speaker 2: her ugly face.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they actually she is deformed. So the cops get
Speaker 1: into Ellen's phone and then we get into like a
Speaker 1: serious tangent in this episode. So I'm just going to
Speaker 1: go into it really quickly because it does waste a
Speaker 1: ton of time. But there's this tangent where Ellen has
Speaker 1: been buying leather goods at a website called My Leather Fantasy,
Speaker 1: not SNM. It's high end leather goods. The guy who
Speaker 1: owns it his name Wan Alvarez. He's been harassing her,
Speaker 1: so they find they go to find him. He gets
Speaker 1: shot by a man in the street who says he
Speaker 1: killed my Peggy because he harassed this other man's wife
Speaker 1: Peggy until she had a heart attack, because he thinks
Speaker 1: that harassing people will cause them to leave bad reviews online,
Speaker 1: and a bad review is just as good as a
Speaker 1: good review. So this is some kind of psychotic YELP conspiracy,
Speaker 1: where like people are still going to go to your
Speaker 1: website because they have reviews that this man calls me
Speaker 1: in the middle of the night and screams at me,
Speaker 1: I think I would pass on my leather fantasy.
Speaker 2: He also has a great quote quote of this episode
Speaker 2: for me, and he goes, Okay, so I harassed the bitch.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's great. Yeah.
Speaker 1: He's like, I didn't kill anyone. I just called an
Speaker 1: old woman with Alzheimer's at three am and screamed at
Speaker 1: her about paying for her leather. So basically he's like yes,
Speaker 1: and he presses God, Yeah, any press.
Speaker 3: Is good for us exactly.
Speaker 1: So once we get to the end of this tangent,
Speaker 1: he's got an alibi for Ellen's murder. So even though
Speaker 1: he was harassing or he didn't do anything, now we
Speaker 1: get the flip. The script is flipped a little bit.
Speaker 1: Warner comes in our girl Tamaratuni not to me the
Speaker 1: luggage brand, and she's saying it might not be murder.
Speaker 1: She's ruling the manner of death as undetermined. And we
Speaker 1: also discover, which I feel like you and I were
Speaker 1: just talking about this the other day, that Ellen has trickotillomania,
Speaker 1: which is when you pull your hair out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have a friend who who does that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh no, I was talking about with my husband
Speaker 1: because in an episode of Pen fifteen one of the
Speaker 1: girls pulled out a piece of her hair. I thought
Speaker 1: maybe they were going to go into a tricotillomania plot,
Speaker 1: but it was not that. I'm just impressed that you
Speaker 1: can say it fully. Yeah, I mean it's it's actually
Speaker 1: pretty fanetic.
Speaker 2: But yeah, there's also another fun quote. Yeah, Benson goes
Speaker 2: and got anal trauma on the way down.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I don't remember, but I have it in.
Speaker 1: All big letters, right, Like they're basically like, sh it's
Speaker 1: possible that she just fell against this vase because she
Speaker 1: was so drunk and the big chunk of glass like
Speaker 1: severed her carotid artery. Oh my god, Way is the
Speaker 1: kordit artery in your buttthole? No, it's in your neck.
Speaker 1: That's where the that's where the cut was. But yeah,
Speaker 1: that's why Benson's saying. She's like what and then she
Speaker 1: somehow got anal trauma like it during the fall, Like
Speaker 1: she's like not buying that this was an accident.
Speaker 3: Okay, so everyone Grape.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you guys are such good friends that she said
Speaker 1: is it in your butthole? And you didn't even comment
Speaker 1: on that just but no, it's in the neck and
Speaker 1: we're so loving towards her. Wait, your karate artery being
Speaker 1: in your butthole is really funny. Okay, So everyone at
Speaker 1: Luscia's Grape is stonewalling in like a very creepy way,
Speaker 1: like they're all saying the same words. They're all saying
Speaker 1: like her death is a major loss to our company,
Speaker 1: Like they're all it's very culty.
Speaker 3: They've been told instructed what to see.
Speaker 1: And Benson's like, if you guys are a family, why
Speaker 1: didn't you know that your best friend and sisters ripping
Speaker 1: hair out of her hand? Yeah, mental illness is not
Speaker 1: a game. No no, So again they break someone breaks
Speaker 1: into Ellen's loft, the cops go over. They find immediately
Speaker 1: they find the one thing that the brak the person
Speaker 1: that broke in was looking for, which is this little
Speaker 1: panda flash drive. The flash drive has tons of videos
Speaker 1: on it twist with Annette the CEO, like completely terrorizing
Speaker 1: her employees, like in a way that's not just like, hey, guys,
Speaker 1: we need to up productivity today. You guys messed up
Speaker 1: last week. It's like, well, that's not even kind of menacing. No, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, I'm just saying a boss, Yeah, you're right,
Speaker 1: it's how you do yours.
Speaker 2: Okay, my mein boss that's not criminal, would be like,
Speaker 2: are you stupid?
Speaker 1: I asked for that an hour ago? Yeah yeah, yes, Okay.
Speaker 1: So we're like, it's Miranda Priestley. It's kind of like
Speaker 1: the level I think of. She wouldn't even say stupid.
Speaker 2: Randa Priestley would go, I demand excellence, bring fifty skirts
Speaker 2: to the appointment today.
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't ask me another question.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't have time for your bullshit. Yeah. So
Speaker 1: she's calling, she's like making homophobic slurs, she's terrorizing them.
Speaker 1: She slaps Ellen across the base. Okay, so they confronted
Speaker 1: at with the videos. It's twenty films of her being
Speaker 1: a complete psycho. The waiter from the dinner the night
Speaker 1: before says that she was also screaming at Ellen the
Speaker 1: night before she was murdered, and that is just like denying,
Speaker 1: pretending to cry.
Speaker 3: It's like crazy, how she.
Speaker 1: Almost she offers like no excuse, She's like, this is
Speaker 1: out of context. It's like there's no context where slapping
Speaker 1: your employee across the face is like help.
Speaker 3: A good thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And then Ic goes the Queen of means on
Speaker 1: a tear. Queen of Mean, so Bruce. So as they
Speaker 1: go check in with all the different people that are
Speaker 1: in the Little Luscious Grape cast list, So Bruce, the
Speaker 1: gay guy has a two hundred thousand dollars car. Corinn
Speaker 1: the young girl is in therapy. I don't know why
Speaker 1: that is considered something lavish, but I guess it's like
Speaker 1: they think something's going on with her. Justin, the young
Speaker 1: douche has this really nice house with like multiple levels,
Speaker 1: which in New York is a staircase in New York
Speaker 1: is weird and like very that's a step. He lives
Speaker 1: with his mother, and we hear his mother yelling down
Speaker 1: Justin mother needs her juice, and it's like, really, what's
Speaker 1: going on? His mother is a disabled former opera singer. Okay,
Speaker 1: keep that in mind for later. So Huang tells them.
Speaker 1: That tells the squad that all these people have Stockholm syndrome,
Speaker 1: Like they've all bonded to this woman emotionally to prevent
Speaker 1: being abused by her, which kind of makes sense. And
Speaker 1: they find out also that this company's about to be
Speaker 1: sold for five hundred million dollars. We get a Morning
Speaker 1: Joe segment. Okay, so the tapes get leaked to the
Speaker 1: media because Ellen sent them before she died. She sent
Speaker 1: them to the media like I can't handle this anymore,
Speaker 1: probably right after the dinner she had with a net
Speaker 1: where Anette was yelling at her and threw a glass
Speaker 1: at her.
Speaker 4: I think.
Speaker 1: So we get to this mob scene where all these
Speaker 1: people are attacking a net. It's like, honestly iconic, Like,
Speaker 1: she looks amazing. She's got dark sunglasses on, like probably
Speaker 1: something with like a fur collar at a don't really remember,
Speaker 1: like a head scarf over her head. And she's like
Speaker 1: and they're like construction workers are yelling suck it, bitch
Speaker 1: at her. Look. I don't condone calling women a bitch
Speaker 1: in this way, but it honestly, like really makes me
Speaker 1: giggle in this context. You need to watch the episode.
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm gonna sue the NYPD for emotional distress
Speaker 1: and she's just like, out of my way. It's just
Speaker 1: kind of a fun scene. It reminds me of Ela. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's Cruella. It's Sunset Boulevard, Like, it's just very John Collins, Yes,
Speaker 1: very jone call. Yeah. So all this press comes out,
Speaker 1: the half a billion dollar offer is rescinded. The press
Speaker 1: is completely savaging in it. Annette calls a press conference.
Speaker 1: She's weepy, she's apologizing, she's like, I'm so sorry to everyone,
Speaker 1: and then she literally flips the switch, tells everybody, totally
Speaker 1: pulls a fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, doesn't tell
Speaker 1: anyone they're cool, fuck you, fuck you, and then kills
Speaker 1: herself at this press conference in front of everybody. So
Speaker 1: that's like a with a gun, Yeah, with a gun. Sorry,
Speaker 1: sho sells out a gun and is like boom, blows
Speaker 1: her brains out. Shocking, it's very shocked. I don't know
Speaker 1: one got ideas from this episode. No, very shocking. So
Speaker 1: Huang said, it's like kind of classic. She like feigned
Speaker 1: contrition to draw people in, but then traumatizes them. So
Speaker 1: it's like what you get when you mix a sociopath
Speaker 1: and a narcissist, A ticking time bomb, That's what Huang says.
Speaker 1: So Annette leaves every penny in her will to her dog.
Speaker 1: Nothing goes to her quote unquote family members at Luscious Grape,
Speaker 1: and then Bruce gets nailed in a hit and run.
Speaker 1: We essentially find out that all the Luscious Grape employees
Speaker 1: are turning on one another because they were all holding
Speaker 1: on just until this five hundred million dollars sale so
Speaker 1: they could like be rich, and they all thought that
Speaker 1: each other was the one that killed Ellen and like
Speaker 1: jeopardized the whole thing. So Baby Spice is the one
Speaker 1: that hits Bruce with her grandfather's scar because she thinks
Speaker 1: Bruce is the one that killed Ellen, and Bruce is like,
Speaker 1: I didn't do it. She was dead when I got
Speaker 1: to her house. So then they basically kind of figure
Speaker 1: out old Australian guys the one who did the break in.
Speaker 1: They all had their own little crimes. The last person
Speaker 1: left is Justin, the douche who lives with his mom.
Speaker 1: So they get to his house and Warner shows up,
Speaker 1: and we figure out that the reason Ellen was drunk
Speaker 1: is because someone got her drunk through her butthole. See
Speaker 1: your butthole. You were right about something with the butthole.
Speaker 2: Yes, And this is why we watch us view yeah
Speaker 2: for her last second, a.
Speaker 1: Last second, but chugging trist Yeah.
Speaker 2: And the thing is, it's not like someone or the
Speaker 2: medical examiner told Benson like, hey, by the way, something
Speaker 2: with the alcohol.
Speaker 1: She's just like the opera singer the throat.
Speaker 2: It's a butto Yeah, like she just like I love detective.
Speaker 3: Work like that.
Speaker 2: Well she pieces together, yeah, because what was there her
Speaker 2: blood alcohol.
Speaker 1: Was Like, how did they know she didn't drink it
Speaker 1: because there was no alcohol in her stomach, So there
Speaker 1: was no alcohol in her actual stomach. But she had
Speaker 1: a blood alcohol of one point six, which is way
Speaker 1: over the limit. So they basically say, oh, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: an old alcoholics trick to put alcohol like through your anus,
Speaker 1: or girls do it with tampons. I had heard of
Speaker 1: girls doing it with tampons. I've never tried it. I
Speaker 1: like to just get drunk the old fashioned way. But
Speaker 1: so basically Benson realizes that they have to go to
Speaker 1: Justin Okay, and we kind of figure this out as
Speaker 1: we go. At the end, Justin admits that he came
Speaker 1: on to Alan, she rejected him. He tried again, she
Speaker 1: slapped him, He pushed her. She fell into the vase
Speaker 1: and saw the gl and then the glass was in
Speaker 1: her neck. So that actually was an accident, and he's like,
Speaker 1: there was so much blood. So then he put the
Speaker 1: alcohol up her butt to make it seem like she
Speaker 1: was drunk and had this accident, right, and then the
Speaker 1: cops basically get it out of him that he grew
Speaker 1: up learning how to do this trick because his mother
Speaker 1: is an alcoholic opera singer who couldn't damage her vocal cords.
Speaker 1: And so that's how he help his mom get drunk
Speaker 1: is like pudding. That's why the entire episode, when we've
Speaker 1: gone to Justin's house, the mom keeps going, mother needs
Speaker 1: her juice. It's like her special juice. Oh, so he's
Speaker 1: but he's been helping.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: You know, as he's getting carried away by the cops.
Speaker 2: The cops don't even care about this old woman. She's
Speaker 2: just left literally just and like the cops are like
Speaker 2: bye man, Yeah, and he goes mother's very clever.
Speaker 1: She taught me a lot of things, and you're like, what.
Speaker 2: Else He in the end is very willy lowman, where
Speaker 2: it's like they all wanted money, they all try and
Speaker 2: they get nothing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, very willy wonka.
Speaker 1: They you get nothing. You stole a physy, lifting drinks.
Speaker 1: You let your boss slap you across the face, you
Speaker 1: get nothing.
Speaker 2: How much money would you work on a like if
Speaker 2: let's say you were treated like this set a job,
Speaker 2: slapped in the face, insulted.
Speaker 1: What would be the paycheck you'd need for slaps? Well,
Speaker 1: I mean millions? Okay, I don't know, I can't, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I want to get into the million a year.
Speaker 1: You'd be okay with your boss pulling your hair and
Speaker 1: slapping you once a week. Ten ten million, ten million
Speaker 1: to gets lapped once a week. Oh, it's a once
Speaker 1: a week slap. Yeah, yeah, I guess you'd get used
Speaker 1: to it. Yeah, that sounds terrible, all right, all right,
Speaker 1: let's move on. I love this episode though. It's got
Speaker 1: so much. It's just like a it's it's got twists and.
Speaker 2: Turns and got chugs a housewife. Yeah, leather fantasy. You
Speaker 2: knew that we were going to start gay from the past. Yeah,
Speaker 2: a baby spice reference just from you. A grandpa, the
Speaker 2: name Peggy, our friend's mom's name Peggy.
Speaker 3: We like that. Yeah, it was a good episode.
Speaker 1: Well, we're gonna take a quick break and we come back.
Speaker 1: We're going to get into the actual scenario that this
Speaker 1: is based on Welcome Back Great Ads, So this is fun.
Speaker 2: This is not even a full time like is there
Speaker 2: There was a little tax evasion, but this character is
Speaker 2: based on a New York legend, Leona Hemsley, and I
Speaker 2: watched an ID channel Barbara Investigates Barbara Walters as one
Speaker 2: of my heroes, and so I was really happy to
Speaker 2: see their interview. And this interview took place like right
Speaker 2: before she was going to jail, so she was not happy.
Speaker 2: She was pissed, and she kept playing like I'm the
Speaker 2: good person, I've done nothing wrong. So it was like
Speaker 2: really lovely while walking around her mansion. So I loved that.
Speaker 2: So who Leona is? She was a billionaire Hotel maven
Speaker 2: and her biggest rival was Donald Trump, which.
Speaker 1: You've got me on Leona Helmsley's side immediately.
Speaker 2: And you know what's crazy? Who brought Leona down was
Speaker 2: Rudy Giuliani. Oh my god, which now is all connected?
Speaker 2: Like were they friends even back then in the eighties?
Speaker 2: Were they always conniving to this evil?
Speaker 1: You know why?
Speaker 3: Supremacist lunacy? I don't. I just don't know what it is.
Speaker 2: Or so that's just interesting how this is all happening
Speaker 2: it was the eighties.
Speaker 1: Greed was good, baby.
Speaker 2: She was known for lavish parties celebrities and she never
Speaker 2: had to pay for her parties because they were in
Speaker 2: her hotels. But like Elizabeth Taylor would party Michael Jackson.
Speaker 2: Like in the eighties, the Hemsleys were the fucking party
Speaker 2: billionaires of New York.
Speaker 1: I just want to say really quick that my family
Speaker 1: has stayed at the Hemsley sand Castle in Sarasota, Florida,
Speaker 1: and it's not that nice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is the eighties. I bet they.
Speaker 1: We stayed there in the two thousands and it was
Speaker 1: not great. Yeah, that's like most of Vegas. It's like
Speaker 1: this used to be nice, so fucking gross. The eighties
Speaker 1: were pretty.
Speaker 3: Garish. Is that a word? Okay?
Speaker 2: So she I'll just give you some stats though. Fifty
Speaker 2: thousand apartments they owned her and her husband, four five
Speaker 2: hundred hotel rooms, and seven million square feet of office space,
Speaker 2: and they lived on the top floor of their most
Speaker 2: grand hotel, the Park Lane Hotel.
Speaker 3: She didn't grow up rich.
Speaker 2: She was a nineteen twenties daughter Jew immigrants from Lithuania.
Speaker 3: Poor dad made hats.
Speaker 2: She dropped out of high school at sixteen, married and
Speaker 2: divorced twice mother by twenty so, you know, nothing too wild.
Speaker 2: But then she became a receptionist at a real estate firm.
Speaker 2: Within a few months was a broker, and within a
Speaker 2: few years top realtor.
Speaker 3: She was a closer baby.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, immigrants know how to work hard.
Speaker 2: And so when she met her husband, she was older
Speaker 2: and she was forty and she was worth a million dollars.
Speaker 2: And I just feel like, as a single chick, single
Speaker 2: mom in New York, being worth a million dollars is impressed.
Speaker 1: In eighties. Yeah, it's super impressive and big fun thing.
Speaker 2: Harry was married. So she met this dude and she's like,
Speaker 2: we're in love. And he left his Quaker wife life
Speaker 2: in a second for this party bitch because he wanted
Speaker 2: to live a fun life. And his other wife like
Speaker 2: they didn't drink no coffee, just like very religious losers.
Speaker 3: And he also started out poor.
Speaker 2: He would collect rent for tenements and then he crushed
Speaker 2: it during the depression because the banks needed someone to
Speaker 2: manage all these buildings, and so he started managing buildings.
Speaker 3: For banks during the depression. Oh okay, and so that's
Speaker 3: how we made money.
Speaker 2: And he found investors and yeah, so he became a
Speaker 2: real estate person.
Speaker 3: I don't really know.
Speaker 1: They're like this real estate power couple. Then once they
Speaker 1: get together, yeah.
Speaker 2: And he like they really did love each other. It
Speaker 2: seems like I don't think it was just for money.
Speaker 2: I mean, maybe it was, but he was excited to
Speaker 2: finally live this like gold fancy fun lifestyle after like
Speaker 2: living with his wife of forty years. Who are They
Speaker 2: were married for thirty four years and Leona was more fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know it was there a big age difference.
Speaker 3: No, I don't think. I don't know. Okay, good question, But.
Speaker 1: I just feel like if he was managing buildings and
Speaker 1: like the depression, he's probably a little older than Leo.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he died before her. Yeah, so you're right.
Speaker 3: Also he did.
Speaker 2: Okay, So in nineteen sixty one he had his dreams
Speaker 2: come true and he bought the Empire State Building.
Speaker 3: So he owned the Empire State Building.
Speaker 2: I try to see who owns it now, and it's
Speaker 2: just a giant trust and I was like, I can't,
Speaker 2: I cannot, I can't weed through this. I can't wea
Speaker 2: through all these people who own it. But the Empire.
Speaker 2: He owned the Empire State Building. But he didn't treat
Speaker 2: it like a jewel. And that's the thing, like he wanted.
Speaker 2: He grew up poor, and when you're poor, I think
Speaker 2: it fucks up your brain because like he reduced the
Speaker 2: maintenance crew and the cleaning.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was cheaper light building in the eighties. I
Speaker 1: feel like the first time I went through was in
Speaker 1: the eighties or the nineties, and it was not nice,
Speaker 1: it was gross. Yeah, he just didn't let it.
Speaker 2: He just had that hold your money tight vibe and
Speaker 2: so he didn't even do anything fun whatever. So they
Speaker 2: had money, they married, and she just revolutionized his life
Speaker 2: through gold on everything and bought all these luxury hotels.
Speaker 2: Her and Trump are fighting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's weird that they're fighting because they're like twin people.
Speaker 1: They're like, they say, well, so they don't like each other.
Speaker 1: Narcissis don't want another narciss rights.
Speaker 3: That's true.
Speaker 2: And then and they know their tricks. So and we
Speaker 2: talked about this before we recorded. When is a woman
Speaker 2: an actual like bitch, evil person or is she just
Speaker 2: like a Miranda Priestley and really good at her job
Speaker 2: and being judged unfairly and like men want a mommy
Speaker 2: to baby them and not a boss. Right, so it's like,
Speaker 2: was she evil or not? You were asking this bitch
Speaker 2: is crazy. She loved firing people. She would fire people
Speaker 2: on the spot. Someone would be at the elevator. She
Speaker 2: would be like, ugh, you're fired. Like she loved to
Speaker 2: fire people. She was a micromanager and.
Speaker 1: Her nickname was the Queen of mean yeah, which they
Speaker 1: say in this episode about.
Speaker 2: So what happened was she joined with this advertising company
Speaker 2: and they were like, this is what we're going to do,
Speaker 2: and no one's ever done this before. They're like, you're
Speaker 2: the queen of your castle and we're going to put
Speaker 2: you in the commercials and you are the queen at
Speaker 2: the hotels and if people come to these hotels, they get.
Speaker 3: To hang out with the fucking queen.
Speaker 1: And then she fired the person who made the advertising coming.
Speaker 3: So that's what happened.
Speaker 2: But yeah, she was an iron fist, like she wanted
Speaker 2: shit to be perfect and why not she you know her,
Speaker 2: her name's on it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So she.
Speaker 3: Loved firing people.
Speaker 2: She was suspicious of everyone, suspicious of her son. Everyone's
Speaker 2: stealing stuff. And you're asking, is she evil or she
Speaker 2: just a tough boss? Okay, So her son dies about
Speaker 2: forty two, she turned on her daughter in law, gave
Speaker 2: her the bill for the funeral and to move the
Speaker 2: body from New York to Florida, and evicted her and
Speaker 2: her grandchild from the Hemsley property.
Speaker 5: Wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's like despicable, and she was cheap and just
Speaker 2: fought with people like haggled constantly, even though she had
Speaker 2: a lot of money.
Speaker 1: And this she sounds like she could be president, except
Speaker 1: that she's a woman. That is what's upsetting. I'd rather
Speaker 1: Leona be the president.
Speaker 2: At least she had a sense of humor, you know, like,
Speaker 2: at least she had dime like dressed well yeah, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean, not a boxy suit. Like it
Speaker 2: is crazy to have these two despicable lunatics from the
Speaker 2: eight and one is the leader of our country right
Speaker 2: now it is, or hopefully not, you know, we'll see
Speaker 2: when the stairs. But anyway, so that this is her
Speaker 2: downfall and what she got in trouble for. She bought
Speaker 2: a mansion in Connecticut in nineteen eighty three. You're from Connecticut.
Speaker 2: She bought it for eleven million dollars and she wanted
Speaker 2: to renovate. And at the time her renovation seemed crazy,
Speaker 2: but now I'm like, this bitch was on fire. She
Speaker 2: wanted speakers in the bushes so she can listen to
Speaker 2: music and play tennis. Yeah, seems not out of line
Speaker 2: at all.
Speaker 1: Who doesn't want to like hit a couple balls around
Speaker 1: with Iya the Tiger playing come on. Yeah, and she
Speaker 1: wanted a marble dance floor on top of the pool. Again,
Speaker 1: it seems fuel.
Speaker 2: It's just crazy how much house renovation standards have changed
Speaker 2: from the eighties till now, because I'm like, this doesn't.
Speaker 1: Seem very easy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but she wanted to save money, and just like
Speaker 2: our forty fifth president, she decided not to pay any
Speaker 2: of her contractors and charged everything to.
Speaker 1: The business, which is a legal Yeah.
Speaker 2: So if Rudy was on her side and not his,
Speaker 2: maybe she would be in charge in their country, like
Speaker 2: they're they're the same.
Speaker 3: So she didn't pay anyone.
Speaker 2: So they got an anonymous tip to a New York
Speaker 2: Post reporter. He got a call and said, Leona is
Speaker 2: a crook and do you want to win a Pulitzer prize?
Speaker 3: Whoa, And that's all he got. So that's like spicy,
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So he agreed to meet this reporter agreed to
Speaker 2: meet someone in Manhattan. He got these files, started calling
Speaker 2: people and started figuring shit out, and then the US
Speaker 2: Attorney Juliani started to investigate from the New York Post article.
Speaker 2: So the New York Post posted this article on all
Speaker 2: of her schemings and how she's not paying people and
Speaker 2: that she's a crook. Giuliani starts investigating, and he says,
Speaker 2: usually it's really really hard to get witnesses to talk.
Speaker 2: He said, people were volunteering everywhere because they hated her
Speaker 2: so much, so they just sat back and people, like
Speaker 2: dozens of people were just calling and calling and being like,
Speaker 2: she didn't pay me here, she did this, she did that,
Speaker 2: she's this.
Speaker 1: Like she wasn't able to successfully Stockholm syndrome the mall
Speaker 1: with the promises of millions of dollars like in this episode.
Speaker 2: But no, no, Les's just scrape no anybody. So the
Speaker 2: hatred was so huge for her, and she abused so
Speaker 2: many people that April fourteenth, nineteen eighty eight, they announced
Speaker 2: an indictment of Leona Hemsley and thirty five counts of
Speaker 2: tax evasion false records that showed personal as business expenses.
Speaker 2: I do this too, but that's because I'm so I
Speaker 2: am really scared that one day I've enough money. But
Speaker 2: I definitely just put everything in my bad I just
Speaker 2: h know, at the end, my account's always like this
Speaker 2: isn't a business.
Speaker 1: What are you doing? I'm like, I'm just I'm confused.
Speaker 3: But what sucks? And I am on her side.
Speaker 2: Here it says she only didn't pay four million dollars
Speaker 2: in taxes, but she is in total paid six hundred
Speaker 2: million dollars in taxes, so it's like a small percentage
Speaker 2: of what she was doing.
Speaker 3: So she's pissed.
Speaker 2: She's like, oh, everyone thinks I don't pay taxes. I've
Speaker 2: paid six hundred million in taxes.
Speaker 1: So another reason she's above Trump is that she'll show
Speaker 1: her tax returns.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, but so million. And she says that she
Speaker 2: brought a blank check to the government. I don't know
Speaker 2: how you do this, and here's four million here, we'll
Speaker 2: pay it. We don't care, And they didn't.
Speaker 1: They still want her to go to jail. Yeah. So,
Speaker 1: and guess who her lawyer is.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Alan Dershowitz is in here, and he's like, it's a misdemeanor. Chill, relax,
Speaker 1: what are you doing?
Speaker 2: Like she but I'm gonna get ahead of myself because
Speaker 2: it's too funny. She didn't pay him, She never paid,
Speaker 2: she never Paiditz.
Speaker 3: She was pissed and didn't pay him. So I love that.
Speaker 1: But he was like whatever, Like I don't understand why
Speaker 1: he's being why this is happening.
Speaker 3: It's not that big of a deal.
Speaker 2: And a housekeeper overheard Leona Hamsley saying, we don't pay taxes.
Speaker 1: Only little people paid taxes. Oh yeah, that's a famous
Speaker 1: quote of hers. Yeah, so the housekeeper heard her say that.
Speaker 1: And also her husband, Harry was like old and sick
Speaker 1: and couldn't stand trial, so it was all it was
Speaker 1: all her. Oh I didn't even realize he was still
Speaker 1: a he was still alive at the span.
Speaker 2: Eight And yeah, Harry was old and sick and got
Speaker 2: off the ticket. So only she stood trial and then
Speaker 2: the media just came out and so so yeah.
Speaker 1: So go on, So what did she get for a sentence?
Speaker 2: But the thing, so Trump had called her a disgrace
Speaker 2: to humanity, which is takes one to no one. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and then the mayor called her a wicked witch.
Speaker 3: Well like that's the thing.
Speaker 2: So they also said she wasn't able to get a
Speaker 2: fair trial because the press was not.
Speaker 1: In New York City when everybody like she was just
Speaker 1: such a hater to hate her. Yeah, she was just
Speaker 1: like I was saying, when I grew up, Leona Helmsley
Speaker 1: was like a punchline, Like you just I knew who
Speaker 1: she was. And I was like eight or nine, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like I just knew what was
Speaker 1: up that she was some kind of like mean lady.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and yeah, you grew up on the East Coast,
Speaker 2: because I also use four and I don't really remember this.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah, yeah, East Coast, like not that far
Speaker 1: from New York. Also, I'm from Connecticut, so she was
Speaker 1: I don't know where she bought this house, but it's
Speaker 1: probably near me where I grew up. Her lawyer revealed
Speaker 1: her age in court, and she was pissed, and she said,
Speaker 1: I have a temper. I have a temper, but I
Speaker 1: won't say it's terrible. So I love that.
Speaker 2: August thirtieth, day before my birthday, eighty nine, she was
Speaker 2: found guilty of thirty three counts of tax evasion and
Speaker 2: sentenced to four years in prison, but she got Dershowitz
Speaker 2: got the state to drop their charges, just not federal charges,
Speaker 2: and so she did, and that's why she refused to
Speaker 2: pay him. And Dershowitz is talking about how he's poor
Speaker 2: and he still uses tea bags three or four times.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but also like just being her lawyer probably got
Speaker 1: him so much business, you know what I mean? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just I was like a very sensational trial. I remember. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I just hate when rich people are like, oh but
Speaker 2: I still reuse my tea bag and it's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: but you still hire a mate, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: It's like, you have these symbolic poor behaviors, but you
Speaker 2: don't actually live like a poor person. You're trying to
Speaker 2: relate to us, and it's just not working. I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: And you're not a bad person. If you use a
Speaker 2: tea bag one, it's like, what do you shut up?
Speaker 2: Her West Side three bedroom is filled with old tea bags,
Speaker 2: and she said she does community service, but I don't
Speaker 2: know who knows. She didn't want to go to jail
Speaker 2: because she's like, Harry needs me, he can't.
Speaker 3: Live without me.
Speaker 2: But no one fucking cared. So she served eighteen months
Speaker 2: in jail and two months house arrest.
Speaker 1: Eighteen months in jail at like a white collar probably, yeah,
Speaker 1: like a Martha Stewart.
Speaker 2: They said that she tried to turn the prison into
Speaker 2: the Hamsley Mansion, and she hired other inmates to make
Speaker 2: her bed and sort mail and do laundry. Oh, from jail,
Speaker 2: she ordered a birthday cake for Harry from the Four
Speaker 2: Seasons while she was in prison, So I gotta love that.
Speaker 2: Ninety seven Harry died and she started to sell off
Speaker 2: parts of the real estate empire and she went up.
Speaker 2: She went out with like younger men here and there,
Speaker 2: but she never married again.
Speaker 1: Her found love again, but she loved her dog. And
Speaker 1: her dog's name was Trouble, Trouble, Trouble.
Speaker 2: She learn Cindy Adams is in this episode of ID
Speaker 2: Investigates with Barbara Walters, and Cindy Adams and her were
Speaker 2: best friends. Cydy Adams Adams columns right, yeah, so they
Speaker 2: were really good friends. And Cindy also stopped talking to
Speaker 2: Leona because she invited Missus Adams to stay in her
Speaker 2: Palm Beach house and then had federal marshals kick her
Speaker 2: mother and her out of the house.
Speaker 1: Okay, why just to do it.
Speaker 2: I'm moving the pan Okay, so you know, and there
Speaker 2: are some good things she wanted to push nine eleven.
Speaker 2: She walked to a firehouse gave them five million dollars.
Speaker 2: She gave five million dollars to her.
Speaker 1: Because she still had a ton of money when she
Speaker 1: got out of jail. It wasn't like a ruined her well,
Speaker 1: because she still owned all of the papers, Like four millions,
Speaker 1: not enough to like repossess things, right, So yeah, she
Speaker 1: just sold off a bunch of stuff and had time,
Speaker 1: so she got charitable at nine to eleven.
Speaker 2: Yeah, nine to eleven brought the best out on her.
Speaker 2: And well that's what's crazy. Nine to eleven happens in
Speaker 2: this evil bitch gives five million dollars and our president
Speaker 2: celebrated that he had the tallest building in New York.
Speaker 3: Now when nine to eleven happens, So you know who's
Speaker 3: more evil?
Speaker 1: I mean you're right about like maybe she is an
Speaker 1: evil bitch, but like how we view evil bitches towards
Speaker 1: evil bastards is not fair.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like he is our president. He's done worse crat whatever.
Speaker 2: I can't even keep talking about it. Two thousand and seven,
Speaker 2: she died of heart failure at eighty seven years old,
Speaker 2: and she gave most of her five billion billion with
Speaker 2: a b dollars to a charitable trust. She gave her
Speaker 2: two grandkids five million each. Her other two grandkids got nothing. Ah,
Speaker 2: oh my god. Five million out of a billion, though,
Speaker 2: is like feels like nothing. But I think that's nice.
Speaker 2: But I think Bill Gates is doing something like that too.
Speaker 2: Oh you're only getting ten million, and go live your
Speaker 2: life and.
Speaker 1: Like, hopefully you can make that work. I always heard
Speaker 1: she left the money to her dog. So she left
Speaker 1: twelve million dollars to her dog Trouble, okay, and the
Speaker 1: news that's what it got sensationalized. And that's the only
Speaker 1: way I knew of her. When I say I didn't
Speaker 1: really know of her as a child. Was the woman
Speaker 1: that gave all her money to super Dog?
Speaker 2: Yeah it wasn't. It wasn't all her money. Did she
Speaker 2: give more to the dog than both.
Speaker 1: Her grand children came?
Speaker 5: Bye?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, But nobody wanted to take care of Trouble
Speaker 2: because she was a bit too.
Speaker 3: Trouble bit everyone and it bits.
Speaker 1: And it was shit. It would shit, wouldn't it shit?
Speaker 1: I feel like I read somewhere that it would like
Speaker 1: shit inside and she would just make people pick it up.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm sure, but it had a security guard because
Speaker 2: it had too many death threats.
Speaker 1: New York is the greatest city in the world. They're
Speaker 1: going to kill a dog that has too much money.
Speaker 2: Trouble died in twenty eleven at twelve years old, and
Speaker 2: it's it wanted it.
Speaker 3: She wanted the dog to be buried with her. They
Speaker 3: didn't allow it.
Speaker 2: And then Leona has a three million dollar trust to
Speaker 2: keep her mausoleum clean because she hates dust.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: And so that's the story of Leona Hemsley. I'm glad
Speaker 2: she didn't commit suicide and I'll stress.
Speaker 1: But well, speaking of that, I just want to really
Speaker 1: quickly touch on that part of the of the episode.
Speaker 1: That part of the episode, the public suicide like on camerade,
Speaker 1: is based on a politician from Pennsylvania named our Bud Dwyer.
Speaker 1: I didn't know this, yes, and he in nineteen eighty seven.
Speaker 1: He was he was like a state senator in Pennsylvania
Speaker 1: and a state treasurer. He was accused of, like you know,
Speaker 1: misappropriating funds and he was going to lose his job
Speaker 1: and his family was going to lose their pension, like
Speaker 1: any rights they had to like money that he would
Speaker 1: they would get upon his death. So he called a
Speaker 1: press conference the same way as the character in the show.
Speaker 1: But in his press conference, he gave letters out each
Speaker 1: of his children and to his wife and kept saying like,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry for what I'm about to do. It was
Speaker 1: like anyone with a brain would have been like, something
Speaker 1: fucked up is about to happen. And he just kept
Speaker 1: saying I'm sorry, Like and if this is going to
Speaker 1: bother you or traumatize you, if you have a weak stomach,
Speaker 1: you should leave now. Like he said stuff like that
Speaker 1: to people like you should never just kept sitting, and
Speaker 1: people just kept sitting. And then it wasn't until he
Speaker 1: pulled a gun out of a Manila envelope that people
Speaker 1: were like, oh wait a minute. Well, he literally in
Speaker 1: his speech said thank you to my wife, I love
Speaker 1: you for making my life so happy, goodbye to all
Speaker 1: of you. Please make sure the sacrifice of my life
Speaker 1: is not in vain. And still no one like rushed
Speaker 1: him or did anything until he pulled out the gun,
Speaker 1: and then he yeah, he shot himself, and his family
Speaker 1: ended up getting a one point two million dollar payout,
Speaker 1: which they never would have gotten if he had lived.
Speaker 1: So I think he did it. That's why he did it.
Speaker 2: That's so sad that he thought that one point two
Speaker 2: million dollars would be better for his family than him.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's really sad.
Speaker 1: And he maintained his innocence the whole time, which is
Speaker 1: also crazy. How you don't do that, I know, but
Speaker 1: I think I said that he was like, if I'm
Speaker 1: going to if they're going to lose everything, I don't know,
Speaker 1: but he maintained his innocence and said it wasn't like.
Speaker 3: So this is what I have to say.
Speaker 2: How do we know about Leona giving money to a dog,
Speaker 2: but we don't know about I don't know about this
Speaker 2: guy publicly killing himself in front of press that sat
Speaker 2: there doing nothing as he handed goodbye notes to his family.
Speaker 1: Maybe it was just because it was like Pennsylvania and
Speaker 1: like it wasn't a like a glamorous.
Speaker 3: Little I love the eighties on VH. I've never seen
Speaker 3: it once.
Speaker 1: And in the eighties. This isn't really as related because
Speaker 1: it wasn't at a press conference. But in the eighties,
Speaker 1: a woman named Christine Chubbick in Sarasota, Florida, where the
Speaker 1: Helmsley's in Castle is. She killed herself on air. But
Speaker 1: that was like a depression thing, and.
Speaker 3: She was I think she was kind of.
Speaker 1: Depressed too, Yes, but she was trying to make a statement,
Speaker 1: I think. And I saw a movie about that with
Speaker 1: Rebecca Hall. It was really interesting. Anyway, thank you for
Speaker 1: telling us all about Leona, the Queen of Me, and
Speaker 1: thanks for telling us about the public suicide. She is
Speaker 1: a Leona Hemsey is a iconic New York character.
Speaker 3: I think I got a Pomeranian.
Speaker 1: I would name it Leona in honor of her.
Speaker 3: Or Trouble. I love that.
Speaker 1: Trouble just reminded me that Chevy Chaseable a classic, classic classic.
Speaker 1: Our first guest today is a renowned character actress, a
Speaker 1: star of stage and screen and Hollywood royalty. Honestly, if
Speaker 1: you look into her, you've seen her on Grey's Anatomy,
Speaker 1: on Scandal, and on the best comedy of all time Veep.
Speaker 1: We are so pumped to talk to a net call
Speaker 1: the Bully of Luscious Gray, herself, Kate Burton.
Speaker 2: So this SPU episode, Bully is out of control. You're
Speaker 2: amazing in it. Yeah, it's iconic, and we just want
Speaker 2: to know when you saw the script and read that,
Speaker 2: you're gonna, you know, publicly commit suicide and slap people
Speaker 2: and call them fruits.
Speaker 3: Like, how did you feel?
Speaker 5: Well, here's the thing. I mean, you know, as a
Speaker 5: New York actor, as you know SBU, Law and Order,
Speaker 5: the Mothership and Criminal Intent. I mean honestly that you
Speaker 5: know you, I mean, I can honestly tell you and
Speaker 5: I've been doing this for almost forty years. And those shows,
Speaker 5: those three shows are like annuities. I mean, you know,
Speaker 5: for a New York actor to be in those shows.
Speaker 5: I was in the Mothership five times and playing two
Speaker 5: different characters, and then I did Criminal Intent the second episode,
Speaker 5: and I had never done SVU. So when they present
Speaker 5: I mean, and I was the hand of the script,
Speaker 5: they offered it to me, and they said, we want
Speaker 5: you to do SVU and I was like, the trifecta
Speaker 5: I've done, so I will have done them all. And
Speaker 5: that is a big thing for a New York actor.
Speaker 5: So and SVU, I mean, SCU is unbelievable. I you know,
Speaker 5: to be honest, I don't watch SVU as much as
Speaker 5: I do The Mothership because it's a little too gritty
Speaker 5: for me sometimes. Although the Mothership it's very gritty towards
Speaker 5: towards the end. But sometimes I'm like, oh god.
Speaker 3: S you has more living victims, so you see.
Speaker 5: Well Special Victims Unit. Yeah, well exactly, it's not about murder,
Speaker 5: it's about sexual assault. It's about all this, you know,
Speaker 5: and so you know, and these are things we watch
Speaker 5: right before we go to sleep at night. Right, I
Speaker 5: don't generally watch SVU before we go to sleep at night.
Speaker 5: Having said that, yeah, so Bully was you know, I
Speaker 5: for some I'm really nice lady. I you know, I
Speaker 5: have two kids, I'm you know, very happily married. I
Speaker 5: play so many of these mad women.
Speaker 1: Oh you do?
Speaker 5: I play Oh my god, yeah, well, I mean Ellie's
Speaker 5: Gray and graceyaw Me, Sally Langston on Scandal, Sally Langston particularly.
Speaker 5: You know, they're crazy, like, I mean, they're there. I
Speaker 5: play crazy megal ladies. Those are that's my thing, crazy
Speaker 5: megal ladies who kill people.
Speaker 1: But are they usually ones that start out sort of sweet?
Speaker 1: Like because at the beginning, Elly, You're like, oh, this
Speaker 1: woman seems so a nice woman.
Speaker 5: I know she's got a problem. But listen, the thing
Speaker 5: about Bully that was so incredible was just you know,
Speaker 5: getting to you know, commit suicide in front of people.
Speaker 5: That's always fun, you know. And that's the thing is that,
Speaker 5: you know, I think that what what Long Order with
Speaker 5: the casting directors and what Dick Wolfe you know, always
Speaker 5: did so incredibly is you know, they mined their New
Speaker 5: York actors. They had this plethora they have still this
Speaker 5: plethora of New York acting talent. And you know, those
Speaker 5: early years of the Mothership were like nobody had seen
Speaker 5: New York like so gritty and true and real and
Speaker 5: and it was so I mean, he really did break
Speaker 5: them olded. So you know, then you know, continues on
Speaker 5: and here's and here's SVU. And I think svu staying
Speaker 5: power is that it's you know, ripped from the headlines literally.
Speaker 5: And I think also marishka Arkite, I mean, I think
Speaker 5: she is so extraordinarily amazing as that as that woman,
Speaker 5: and she, you know, to watch this great female protagonist
Speaker 5: got us through these terrible stories over yeah, you know,
Speaker 5: and I have tendency to say yes to everything, so
Speaker 5: that's sometimes not a good thing. But I will tell you,
Speaker 5: like I did, when you do anything to do with
Speaker 5: law and order, you always know, even if it's the
Speaker 5: grittiest stuff in the world, it's still going to be
Speaker 5: a classy.
Speaker 2: Another thing that was so great about that character, and
Speaker 2: I don't know if you had any say in air collaboration,
Speaker 2: was the wardrobe.
Speaker 3: The hair and makeup was so good.
Speaker 5: Well, wardrobe on lawn orders in general are all. I mean,
Speaker 5: it's they have the well, you know, they have costume
Speaker 5: designers that have experienced in theater, in film, because you know,
Speaker 5: New York is a one. You know, everything happens in
Speaker 5: New York, you know, if in terms of all the
Speaker 5: different media. Yeah, and so you know the costume. You know,
Speaker 5: I've always had a costumes. My only sadness is that
Speaker 5: I haven't been able to keep any of them because
Speaker 5: they need to keep them there for other guest stars
Speaker 5: to come in and be glamorous.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, that's with that point in Bully where
Speaker 1: you're trying to push through the crowd that saw like
Speaker 1: the mob that's coming after you, and you're wearing like
Speaker 1: dark glasses and like a sort of a hooded scarp
Speaker 1: and you're like out of my way. Like it's like
Speaker 1: just it's well, can I say you know this podcast,
Speaker 1: we sort of talk about the episode and the true
Speaker 1: situation or crime that was based on so the episode
Speaker 1: what your character I think was loosely probably based on
Speaker 1: Leona Helmsley.
Speaker 5: Oh you know, I didn't even totally know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 5: You know that you're telling me this years later.
Speaker 1: She was this, you know, incredibly mean.
Speaker 5: And remember those advertisements.
Speaker 1: To your dog Your character left everything to her dogs.
Speaker 1: It's like very similar.
Speaker 5: Please you have such memories of this episode. Thank you
Speaker 5: for reminding me. Yes, well, you know those advertisements that
Speaker 5: you used to see in your times with like the
Speaker 5: Queen is in her palace. Yes, you know, there she
Speaker 5: be Leona Halmsley. I mean, Leona Helmsley is like a
Speaker 5: character out of a cartoon. I mean, you can't even
Speaker 5: make stuff up.
Speaker 2: It also is nice to hear that you're probably amazing
Speaker 2: to work with, considering Shonda keeps using you in the
Speaker 2: law and order world, keeps using you, and that's like
Speaker 2: pretty amazing.
Speaker 5: Yeah, thank you. Well, I do love working with all
Speaker 5: those folks.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, you.
Speaker 5: Know, the key is heart. One of the hardest things
Speaker 5: about being an actor, and especially of my age group,
Speaker 5: is that you you know, we came from sort of
Speaker 5: one of the thrills for me, to be honest, is
Speaker 5: I really thought by my mid forties i'd be done.
Speaker 5: I mean I really thought, you know, when I was
Speaker 5: first coming out of Yale twenty I was twenty four,
Speaker 5: you know, I thought, Okay, well I kind of got
Speaker 5: twenty years and here we are and I'm sixty three. Yeah,
Speaker 5: and the reality is thank you. And the reality is
Speaker 5: is that I'm still working. My great friends Steporah Monk
Speaker 5: and Christine Nilsen, who are even a little bit older
Speaker 5: than me, They're constantly working. And so the notion of
Speaker 5: there are interesting roles for women who are older.
Speaker 4: How great.
Speaker 5: It's amazing, you know. And I moved to LA when
Speaker 5: I was forty nine, and I always say what my
Speaker 5: age is because I'm like, why not? And I have
Speaker 5: had the most interesting parts, you know, Ella, I came with,
Speaker 5: I grived with Ellis Gray, Sally Langston, Senator Barbara hallows
Speaker 5: En VP.
Speaker 1: You know, Aunt Marie, I can't believe that just hit me.
Speaker 1: That's like our favorite. I mean, I can't the favorite.
Speaker 5: That's our favorite chart.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I don't go on television.
Speaker 5: Well, she's a genius, and so is Armando u Nucci
Speaker 5: so and so is every single person on that s
Speaker 5: want to say, it's.
Speaker 2: Perfectly cast every and every detail of every character.
Speaker 1: Yeah, funny, I.
Speaker 5: Mean Tony Hell, Tony Hall. I mean even in the
Speaker 5: read through for the pilot, Tony Hale, I remember just
Speaker 5: sitting at the table just like will hold me back?
Speaker 5: I mean, and you know, But the thing is is
Speaker 5: that I'm so I feel so blessed that I've gotten
Speaker 5: to play all these different, really interesting parts.
Speaker 2: So, since you have been in all the law and
Speaker 2: order worlds, we were wondering if you needed the help
Speaker 2: of detectives, which which detectives.
Speaker 3: Would you go to?
Speaker 1: Original Criminal Intent or SV you.
Speaker 5: Oh, I have to say, well, Mrshka Hargate is pretty
Speaker 5: hard to beat.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would.
Speaker 5: I would if I could combine them, I would go
Speaker 5: to Marishka Hargate and Christopher Notes.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't know if this is appropriate to ask or not,
Speaker 2: but we just if you have an Elizabeth Taylor tail
Speaker 2: or a.
Speaker 1: Little Elizabeth Taylor's stepdaughter.
Speaker 5: You're asking me this with two but it's just fair.
Speaker 5: But she was a dream. I love her so much.
Speaker 5: I mean, I love her personally. We always got along great.
Speaker 5: She was always incredibly dear and sweet and just really great.
Speaker 5: I mean incredible sense of humor. She was amazing, and
Speaker 5: I mean, you know, honestly, you know, I mean one
Speaker 5: of the sort of I actually told the story a
Speaker 5: few times. But you know, she had these jewels that
Speaker 5: she really really loved, and I mean they were grout.
Speaker 5: There were very fancy jewels, and one of them my
Speaker 5: favorite thing that she ever had. There were a couple
Speaker 5: of things, but one of them was this pearl. It
Speaker 5: was a pearl, beautiful pearl, sort of teardrop shape, but
Speaker 5: a huge like this size tear drop, very large, and
Speaker 5: it was actually an unbelievable had an unbelievable history because
Speaker 5: you can see this pearl in the hole mind portrait
Speaker 5: of Mary Bloody Mary Mary Tudor, who is the daughter
Speaker 5: of Henry Dight, who became the first of his children
Speaker 5: to sit on the throne of England. You see it
Speaker 5: in the picture. It's in the portrait. So that's how
Speaker 5: old pearl is. Anyway, so the pearl had gotten missing,
Speaker 5: couldn't find the pearl, and everybody was running around the
Speaker 5: house looking for the pearl, and she had washed She
Speaker 5: liked to wash her jewels and baby ship, so she'd
Speaker 5: washed the pearl and somehow the pearl, like I don't
Speaker 5: do you even know? I mean, this is the this
Speaker 5: sitting on the side of the sink, sitting in a dish.
Speaker 5: Who the hell knows. Somehow the dog got hold of
Speaker 5: the pearl, and we're running around the dog, and the
Speaker 5: dog is sitting in the middle of the room like
Speaker 5: just chewing on something. Somehow somebody stopped and went, wait
Speaker 5: a minute, and looked down at this little fluffy dog
Speaker 5: so cute, going like chewing and it had the pearl.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much for taking the time out
Speaker 1: of your schedule, because I know you seem very busy.
Speaker 3: You know, pandemic.
Speaker 5: You're so welcome.
Speaker 1: That was thrilling. Oh my god, I'm like buzzed from
Speaker 1: talking to Cape Burton. Yeah, she loves acting. She's good
Speaker 1: at it. She's been in everything you've ever watched. Like,
Speaker 1: I don't think anyone can say they've never seen this
Speaker 1: woman on their screen. I can't eve we've forgot VP.
Speaker 1: I mean I must have just zipped over that in
Speaker 1: her IMDb or something. I don't know how I miss that,
Speaker 1: but like iconic.
Speaker 2: What a career, and that she's been in all the
Speaker 2: law and order universes, and she loves them Risca.
Speaker 3: As much as we love Marisa.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's nice to know that even if you're
Speaker 2: a stepmom's Elizabeth Taylor, you will be blinded by Mariska
Speaker 2: har charm, beauty work.
Speaker 1: She wants to call Marishka in the event of a problem. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's her decision. And yeah, so post mortem, Okay, let's
Speaker 1: do let's break it down. I mean, what do we
Speaker 1: learn from balacious grape?
Speaker 2: Don't let your boss slap you take him to court, right,
Speaker 2: have a lawsuit, Tape stuff. Actually we learn if you're
Speaker 2: getting abused at work, take record, record it.
Speaker 1: Don't end up dead, right, but record it. Get a
Speaker 1: good lawyer. Yeah. I have a friend who actually just
Speaker 1: had a very high profile lawsuit against like a creep
Speaker 1: o like billionaire boss, and she recorded stuff and that's
Speaker 1: I think how she eventually brought him down. Yeats to record.
Speaker 2: So record before you quit and press charges. Yeah, don't
Speaker 2: I don't. Don't pour alcohol in your butt, don't butt chug.
Speaker 1: Don'tchug even if you're trying to have if you're trying
Speaker 1: to get your opera singer mom drunk, like put her
Speaker 1: in a home. I think there's got even edible. You know,
Speaker 1: find another addiction. There's gonna be another way.
Speaker 2: So yeah, don't butt chug. Also, don't trust your coworkers.
Speaker 2: They're gonna rat you. Also, there's cameras everywhere. Don't steal
Speaker 2: your grandfather's car.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and try to run over one of your coworkers.
Speaker 3: I think those are all the lessons.
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I was gonna say, if you want
Speaker 2: to come in suicide, do it with a crowd, but
Speaker 2: don't do that.
Speaker 1: Don't do that, don't say that, none of that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this was a good one. This was a great episode,
Speaker 1: a great interview. I mean, the crime is just Leona
Speaker 1: do yourself a favor and looking more into Leona Helmsley.
Speaker 1: She's a true, like Kate said, like a comic book character,
Speaker 1: like comic book villain. Yeah, cartoon I guess she said.
Speaker 1: I guess we also learned don't make villains like that
Speaker 1: the president.
Speaker 3: I don't know if we learned that.
Speaker 1: Just right this episode, but I mean I stay with
Speaker 1: her just because she was mortal enemies with Donald Trump.
Speaker 2: Also, I'd like to say, if there's a press conference
Speaker 2: and someone is reading suicide notes and apologizing to their family, stop.
Speaker 1: Don't go for that go for that have the gun.
Speaker 1: Don't just wait it out as they're fully confessing what's
Speaker 1: about to Yes, so I think you know that's Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you see someone that's on the on the brink,
Speaker 1: maybe help them out. Don't just watch for a story. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and is less just grape a thing?
Speaker 2: I don't know, it doesn't work somewhere where people think that,
Speaker 2: like they say that your family, Yeah, don't let yeah
Speaker 2: pay your taxes, babies pay your taxes.
Speaker 1: And don't leave all your money to your dog. That's
Speaker 1: honestly the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. Not all
Speaker 1: she only left twelve million, all right, Lisa.
Speaker 3: More than her kids twelve million.
Speaker 1: But the dog has like a ten year life expectancy
Speaker 1: after your death. Probably what that happens to the money?
Speaker 1: Who does the dog bequeath the money.
Speaker 3: To the dog's eating?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 3: Wagoo? Is that how you're saying? Yeah, waggoo bee every day?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Rachel Ray dog food? What's doesn't Rachel Ray have
Speaker 1: a dog food?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Which is weird. Someone has a joke about this.
Speaker 1: That's why I looked at you so weird, because the
Speaker 1: joke is like, you're a chef and you're coming out
Speaker 1: with dog food. What let's say about you? I think
Speaker 1: it was Mateo If anyone cares about follow Mateo Lane
Speaker 1: on Instagrams. And he actually didn't really drink. I don't
Speaker 1: think he butt chunks though. We got to talk to him.
Speaker 1: You got to come on the pod. Okay, So we
Speaker 1: are here as always inspired by Murushka Hargatea, but she
Speaker 1: also does a lot of charity work. She has her
Speaker 1: Joyful Heart Foundation, and we would like to use our platform,
Speaker 1: however small it may be, to spread awareness on certain things.
Speaker 1: So this segment is going to be at the end
Speaker 1: of every episode. It's called what would Sister Peg Do?
Speaker 1: Shout out to the nun and savior of many runaway girls.
Speaker 1: Sister Peg an amazing recurring character r I P. And
Speaker 1: So at the every end of every episode, we're going
Speaker 1: to call out a resource or an organization where you
Speaker 1: can go to learn more about or contribute to a
Speaker 1: specific issue that we touched upon in this episode. So
Speaker 1: for today's episode, if you would like more information on
Speaker 1: workplace bullying, please go to workplace bullying dot org where
Speaker 1: you can get a lot of resources on how to
Speaker 1: handle that.
Speaker 3: And if you'd like to watch along with us.
Speaker 2: Next week's episode, we're going to be covering Damaged, one
Speaker 2: of my favorites of all time. Season four, episode eleven.
Speaker 2: All of the episodes are on Hulu.
Speaker 1: That's how I watch, and if you're more of a
Speaker 1: Peacock TV type person, it's available there as well.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for listening. Tell a friend, give
Speaker 2: us a fun review, you know. Follow us on Instagram.
Speaker 2: We're going to post some fun games and gifts and
Speaker 2: SVU art.
Speaker 1: We'll see you guys next week.
Speaker 2: That's Messed Up as an exactly right production. If you
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Speaker 1: please see our show notes for sources and more information.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much to our producer and fellow s
Speaker 2: View super fan, Hannah Kyle Craton.
Speaker 1: Thank you to our heroes. Stephen Ray Morris and Annalie
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Speaker 1: To our artistic Queen, Carly gen Andrews for all of
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