WEBVTT - House Bunny with Crystal Hefner

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<v Speaker 1>Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio Podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Happy Valentine's Day, Happy Loveday, You're my bad like Valentine's Day.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel fine about it. Do you know I make

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<v Speaker 2>Preston ask me every Valentine's Day to be as Valentine.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh that's cute, it's not assumed. Ah. Yeah, he asked

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<v Speaker 2>me like a week and a half ago this time.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh that's cute.

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<v Speaker 2>That's really cute. Yeah, it's my favorite. Oh, we don't

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<v Speaker 2>do anything crazy? Do you do crazy? What are you

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<v Speaker 2>doing tonight? Nothing? We're actually going to a Ruba tomorrow.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry. What so I'm going to just pack and

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<v Speaker 2>we're gonna celebrate tomorrow.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>He has a show where one why he has a show? Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>which and it's great, Like we're going to go just

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<v Speaker 2>have a minute with the kids. No, how many days?

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<v Speaker 2>Two full days, three sleeps? Okay, you got this. I

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<v Speaker 2>know that's hard for me. I haven't been to a

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<v Speaker 2>Ruba since I was like twenty Tuba was quick, haven't

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<v Speaker 2>never been well. I hate this. What I just the

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<v Speaker 2>most part of anxiety gets me Bia. Oh friend from

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<v Speaker 2>Natalie Holloway is all I think of with. I know

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<v Speaker 2>that is so dark, and I'm Aruba is beautiful and

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<v Speaker 2>it's not that it was so long ago. That's where

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<v Speaker 2>it was. Yeah, all I know is a Aruba Jamaica

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<v Speaker 2>and everyone in their car singing along. Yeah. All it's

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<v Speaker 2>the each boys, it is. Yeah, it is what loves

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<v Speaker 2>of each boys? CoCom That's right. What are you doing?

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<v Speaker 2>Do you love it? Valentine's Day? I'm going to get

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<v Speaker 2>over my fear and it's going to be great. What

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<v Speaker 2>are you afraid of? Everything? Getting kidnapped or no, just

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<v Speaker 2>everything pretty much, from being stuck to stuck where anywhere,

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<v Speaker 2>anywhere but my home. I'm just very nasty this time.

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<v Speaker 2>I I know exactly what you're feeling because I feel

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<v Speaker 2>the same way about a trip I'm going on next

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<v Speaker 2>weekend for the first time ever. And how many sleeps?

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<v Speaker 2>Three sleeps? See, okay, it's almost like two. I'm okay.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why Windown works for me so well, because I'm like, oh, yay,

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<v Speaker 2>my friend for two sleeps and then I go back

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<v Speaker 2>to the kids. Yeah, but it's the being so far away.

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<v Speaker 2>Where are you going? Can I know Mexico, Alan, I've

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<v Speaker 2>never taken a vacation together that didn't involve work, and

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<v Speaker 2>we've never actually done a vacation. Mine is like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>one day we would like, let's go here, but it

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<v Speaker 2>always book ended or started with work. Sure, so we're

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<v Speaker 2>taking a vacation finally together, which we know is important. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>And I just have so much anxiety same, I don't

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<v Speaker 2>I want to be Yeah, close to home is my

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<v Speaker 2>safety net. It's weird because I have this feeling like

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<v Speaker 2>even when I'm away from the baby right now, and

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<v Speaker 2>I know this is very postpartum, and I think it's

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<v Speaker 2>just like what is that called primal? Yeah, like when

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<v Speaker 2>I get home, the first thing I have to do

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<v Speaker 2>after I wash my hands because the world is Jeremy

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<v Speaker 2>is like put her heart to heart with me, and

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<v Speaker 2>it feels like I plug back into the wall. It's

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<v Speaker 2>this like weird like huh okay. Yeah, but again like

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<v Speaker 2>they just came out of our bodies, so that's I think,

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<v Speaker 2>very normal. Yeah, it's babies like baby Roman. I still

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<v Speaker 2>don't like being far away from the kids, like when

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<v Speaker 2>I did the movie in Arizona, I don't. I just

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<v Speaker 2>have anxiety when I'm not with them. I know, even

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<v Speaker 2>when they're at their dads. I get anxiety like the

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<v Speaker 2>other last weekend. I'm like, it just doesn't feel right

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<v Speaker 2>to not have your babies with you. Yeah, like in

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<v Speaker 2>the cave. Everybody nested in the cave. I know, but

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<v Speaker 2>you're gonna have so much fun and it's good for you,

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<v Speaker 2>im Preston, It is so good for us. It's tricky

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<v Speaker 2>because we started dating and then we like finally like

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<v Speaker 2>we met. It was pretty like speed daity as you know,

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<v Speaker 2>and so we never really dated until like the last

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<v Speaker 2>year kind of, and then we get pregnant with the

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<v Speaker 2>baby because I think we were dating so much, but

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like we I like love being with him,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's fun for both of us to be like

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<v Speaker 2>the center of each other's attention for a minute. I

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<v Speaker 2>actually like really like being alone with him now, So

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<v Speaker 2>I know I'm good. Once we like get on a

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<v Speaker 2>plane or wherever. It just takes me. It's it's almost

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<v Speaker 2>like not fair, impossible, Like he's presenting me with this

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<v Speaker 2>amazing trip. He has one show while we're there. We

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<v Speaker 2>extended it because it's Valentine's Day, and I still just

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<v Speaker 2>can't go like whoo a ruba or bust. I am like, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>what happens if you know what though, and I'm saying

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<v Speaker 2>this to myself, walking in with that just steals the

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<v Speaker 2>joy of it, I know, and I don't. We're stealing

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<v Speaker 2>yourself of the joy and the excitement and the fun

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<v Speaker 2>because at the end of the day, you're gonna come

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<v Speaker 2>back and you're gonna be like, oh well, I just

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<v Speaker 2>why was I so anxious? I just stole moments of joy,

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<v Speaker 2>I know, and I don't want that anymore this year. Actually,

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<v Speaker 2>that's kind of like I think because of all the

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<v Speaker 2>death the years before. Like Amy and I really talked

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<v Speaker 2>about this. She was I said, I think I'm like

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<v Speaker 2>ready to be fun and have fun. Yeah, and she

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<v Speaker 2>was like, I'm excited for you because I don't feel

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<v Speaker 2>like I've been that girl for a while. But the

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<v Speaker 2>post part of anxiety, like I get it. It's a

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<v Speaker 2>thing and you just have to overcome it. Like that's

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<v Speaker 2>where when I spoke to Amy about it, She's like,

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<v Speaker 2>you just have to do it to overcome it. That's right.

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<v Speaker 2>She's like, Okay, do it and go once you're on

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<v Speaker 2>the because my thing is like it because I got

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<v Speaker 2>off that one plane with anxiety. Now it's in my

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<v Speaker 2>head like I can't do it. I can't fly because

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<v Speaker 2>I got off that one plane when I was pregnant,

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<v Speaker 2>I had a kidne infection, didn't know it, I was sick.

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<v Speaker 2>So like I have a little like but like still

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<v Speaker 2>I now in my head go that equated to I

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<v Speaker 2>can't fly, So let's do so for each other. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>just saying, like it's it's once you do it, you'll

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<v Speaker 2>be fine. What did you say to me just a

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<v Speaker 2>second ago? You got to do it to what? Mm

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<v Speaker 2>you get over it? Through it? Maybe don't want to

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<v Speaker 2>rewind it. Yeah, but I'm gonna need that, I think,

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<v Speaker 2>and we'll hold each other accountable. So I'll help you

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<v Speaker 2>this week. You I feel the tightness. Yeah, yeah, for sure,

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<v Speaker 2>I get I'm already gone. In next week, I'll be here.

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<v Speaker 2>Well you're away, so like I like that you're around,

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<v Speaker 2>and I could be like if I need you at

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<v Speaker 2>my house or whatever, I get it, and I would

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<v Speaker 2>be right here to throw your sweet baby off a

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<v Speaker 2>sleep schedule and hold him too long. But tonight though,

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<v Speaker 2>Alan surprised me with a sleepover here. No, we have

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<v Speaker 2>a sleepover every I know. I was confused. No, he's

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<v Speaker 2>so sweet, so we had Uh, this is actually really cute.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh.

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<v Speaker 2>I like it when you get girly about him. I

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<v Speaker 2>just love that's cool. Oh he's the best. Okay, Well,

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<v Speaker 2>first of all, he woke up this morning with I've

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<v Speaker 2>never been woken up with roses, so like he I

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<v Speaker 2>rolled over and he like had a rose like right there,

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<v Speaker 2>like on the bed. I was like, you are so sweet.

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<v Speaker 2>He got all the kids, well, we got Jolie and roses,

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<v Speaker 2>and then Jasey got him something else. But we did

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<v Speaker 2>like our little open just very small things or whatever

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<v Speaker 2>this morning with the kids. I got them like squishy

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<v Speaker 2>mellows or whatever. And then Alan said he planned it all.

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<v Speaker 2>Talked to the sitter that we've been using a few

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<v Speaker 2>times a week and that was like the best too.

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<v Speaker 2>When they take charge of that everything. He's like, we're

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<v Speaker 2>leaving it three. I'm like no, no, but he's like no, no,

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<v Speaker 2>she's gonna, you know, be here. And we've got massages

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<v Speaker 2>at the one hotel. So we met at the one hotel.

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<v Speaker 2>I remember, because this is where I want to actually

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<v Speaker 2>have your shower. Oh. I was trying to make it sentimental.

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<v Speaker 2>Close the loops. That's really cute. Yeah, I like that.

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<v Speaker 2>But he then so when he was staying at the

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<v Speaker 2>one hotel. I can't remember the room number. He knows it,

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<v Speaker 2>but uh, he got that same room number because when

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<v Speaker 2>we were when I saw him, I'm not a hussy, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>So it wasn't the first night, but he went up

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<v Speaker 2>to the room because when I was sitting in the lobby,

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<v Speaker 2>like someone recognized me or whatever, and it was just

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I didn't want to like be down

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<v Speaker 2>there people say anything. And I also think, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>when it's something special, when you want the privacy of it. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>so I was like, let's just go up. We can

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<v Speaker 2>have dinner up in the room. So we had dinner.

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<v Speaker 2>It was like the sweetest. We had dinner in the room,

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<v Speaker 2>had wine. I went home because I had the kids, obviously,

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<v Speaker 2>and you don't sleep over on the first day, that's right,

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<v Speaker 2>or turning a leaf in the next chapter exactly, not

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<v Speaker 2>a hussy on the right. So that it was just

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<v Speaker 2>like that hotel and that room and just like, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>so good acting and getting to each other was really sweet.

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<v Speaker 2>So he's taking me back there and yeah, a little sleepover.

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<v Speaker 2>I love it. And you know what's interesting, I think

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<v Speaker 2>because we're so tired that like one night feels incredible. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so excited to just like sleep in because we

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<v Speaker 2>have we're always even though he's sleeping like Roman sleeps

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<v Speaker 2>in the night now, but it's the monitor still there

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<v Speaker 2>and I still here as little grunts, you know, So

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<v Speaker 2>I know you don't really get to sleep, no, And

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<v Speaker 2>that's and also like we did that for my birthday.

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<v Speaker 2>We just went away and I loved it. It was

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<v Speaker 2>twenty minutes down the road and it was beautiful and

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<v Speaker 2>I slept with no clothes on, and I like it.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh well, once in a while, yes, just to be

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<v Speaker 2>like an adult or something. I don't know. Did you

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<v Speaker 2>watch Super Bowl, by the way, just usher, just usher,

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<v Speaker 2>so you didn't see the Travis Kelsey thing. I saw

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<v Speaker 2>him screaming as coach that was everywhere. What are your thoughts? Well,

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<v Speaker 2>I understand being passionate, but it doesn't make what he

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<v Speaker 2>did right if you so I don't. I thought to me,

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<v Speaker 2>I thought it was very disrespectful to scream at a coach,

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<v Speaker 2>just in general. And I and I asked Alan, and

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<v Speaker 2>I go, what do you think of that? And he's

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<v Speaker 2>just like extremely disrespectful. And that matters to me because

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<v Speaker 2>Alan's in sports. Yeah, he'sthing like I get the energy

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<v Speaker 2>and of like passion. I get that so much. And

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<v Speaker 2>someone like Alan, like you know, he's he screams when

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<v Speaker 2>he's on you know, the pitch, and he's co and

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<v Speaker 2>all those things, but he's not screaming like to have

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<v Speaker 2>a player like can imagine like a Tom Brady or

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, and maybe they have I don't know,

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<v Speaker 2>but like I just the people that are in that position,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't see them being to me. It was very

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<v Speaker 2>disrespectful and also slightly triggering from sorry, but not to like,

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<v Speaker 2>but it was triggering from my past to see that

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<v Speaker 2>because I've been with that kind of person in that

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<v Speaker 2>kind of world that had that anger in my face

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<v Speaker 2>and it's and it triggered me. And I'm people can

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<v Speaker 2>say whatever they want to say about it, but it

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<v Speaker 2>did not feel good to be back in that like

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<v Speaker 2>scared place to see that comparison to Serena. Do you

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<v Speaker 2>remember when Serena got passionate to one of the No,

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<v Speaker 2>but I need to pull it up, pull it up.

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<v Speaker 2>But one of the things I want to say too

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<v Speaker 2>is what I didn't like is one of the because

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<v Speaker 2>I've now just watched to see what people have done

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<v Speaker 2>with it. I don't like the fact that he didn't. Again,

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<v Speaker 2>if you're a role model to someone, I don't like

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<v Speaker 2>the fact that you didn't be like yeah, he's like,

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<v Speaker 2>oh yeah, you saw that. I'm like, yeah, everyone did,

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<v Speaker 2>and you should be like yeah, no matter what passionate,

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<v Speaker 2>was not right to screaming your coach like be a

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<v Speaker 2>better example, in my opinion, yes. Second thing is it's

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<v Speaker 2>turned into like a funny meme joke. It's not funny

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<v Speaker 2>to be disrespectful to someone. Third thing is I also

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<v Speaker 2>just don't think that how do I say this? When

0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:27.440
<v Speaker 2>they did try to talk about it on air, one

0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:29.319
<v Speaker 2>of the guys goes, you know, and I didn't really

0:11:29.360 --> 0:11:31.120
<v Speaker 2>like the fact that Travis you know, did that to

0:11:31.200 --> 0:11:34.240
<v Speaker 2>his coach. Someone cut him off so immediately to defend

0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:36.400
<v Speaker 2>and to change the subject. I'm like, why are we

0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:38.360
<v Speaker 2>changing the subject, like the kind of a voice. Let

0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:41.319
<v Speaker 2>it be that that wasn't right, because it right. And

0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:43.520
<v Speaker 2>other people are like, oh, stop being such like a

0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:47.199
<v Speaker 2>a p us, you know, and just like you know,

0:11:47.640 --> 0:11:50.720
<v Speaker 2>so sensitive and sports. Again, it's not right to scream

0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:53.000
<v Speaker 2>your coach's face and it's not funny. Well, It's also

0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:56.760
<v Speaker 2>interesting to me because I would say I am right

0:11:56.840 --> 0:11:59.000
<v Speaker 2>now raising a swifty like love is so all in

0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:01.839
<v Speaker 2>on Taylor Swift. It's crazy to me because I'm not

0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:03.600
<v Speaker 2>a swiftie, so I'm not sure where it came from.

0:12:03.960 --> 0:12:06.360
<v Speaker 2>But Taylor, to me is such a role model and

0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:09.320
<v Speaker 2>the way that she at thousand percent. If I was her,

0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:11.880
<v Speaker 2>I'd have been like, oh, I was uh and it

0:12:12.120 --> 0:12:14.400
<v Speaker 2>isn't my boyfriend. Yeah, Like I was like yike cus

0:12:14.440 --> 0:12:19.400
<v Speaker 2>Like it felt a little I will just get so

0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:22.000
<v Speaker 2>many dms. It felt a little full of himself. It

0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:25.800
<v Speaker 2>felt a little like that's your boss, that's my whole thing, coach,

0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:28.360
<v Speaker 2>player or whatever I could have. There is not a

0:12:28.559 --> 0:12:30.400
<v Speaker 2>time in my life where I could have ever screamed

0:12:30.440 --> 0:12:33.840
<v Speaker 2>to anyone professionally and gotten away with it. Yeah, super

0:12:33.880 --> 0:12:35.839
<v Speaker 2>Bowl or no super Bowl. And it kind of took

0:12:35.880 --> 0:12:37.920
<v Speaker 2>away to me the win a little bit, like it

0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:41.080
<v Speaker 2>tarnished it to me. It put the biggest yeah taste

0:12:41.120 --> 0:12:43.079
<v Speaker 2>of just like in my mouth too when I saw it.

0:12:43.080 --> 0:12:45.040
<v Speaker 2>And it's like fine, like he didn't push any losses

0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:47.559
<v Speaker 2>like footing and the coach too, to be like he

0:12:48.000 --> 0:12:50.960
<v Speaker 2>kept me young. It's that's again, that's not you should

0:12:51.080 --> 0:12:53.040
<v Speaker 2>be as stronger. I don't want to say it, but

0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:56.200
<v Speaker 2>like to to say, you don't scream in my face.

0:12:56.320 --> 0:12:58.480
<v Speaker 2>You can be passionate and you can be like, oh,

0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:01.240
<v Speaker 2>just put me in, but like, not in that manner.

0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:04.920
<v Speaker 2>That was an angry aggressive that I personally didn't like,

0:13:04.960 --> 0:13:08.559
<v Speaker 2>and I wouldn't want that to be role modeled. That's it.

0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:11.160
<v Speaker 2>And we're like trying to teach sportsmanship in our house

0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:13.560
<v Speaker 2>right now, like winning and losing games, like even board games,

0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:15.760
<v Speaker 2>you know, because things get heated and legend is passionate

0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:18.160
<v Speaker 2>and I like watch stuff like that. I'm like, this

0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:20.319
<v Speaker 2>is not what you want your kids to be watching.

0:13:20.400 --> 0:13:23.520
<v Speaker 2>And I get it. I it's NFL blah blah blah,

0:13:23.559 --> 0:13:26.959
<v Speaker 2>but I also am just just not handsome behavior to me.

0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:29.360
<v Speaker 2>I also know that there's so many people watching you,

0:13:29.800 --> 0:13:34.200
<v Speaker 2>especially that's more now so because it's t swift. So again,

0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:36.199
<v Speaker 2>that's why I look straight to Alan and go, what

0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:37.640
<v Speaker 2>did you just think of that? And he has his

0:13:37.880 --> 0:13:40.240
<v Speaker 2>choice words for it. So do you think he did

0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:44.200
<v Speaker 2>it on purpose? Like more again, I've seen people yell

0:13:44.360 --> 0:13:47.800
<v Speaker 2>and like have fights or whatever. It's I don't like

0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:50.280
<v Speaker 2>the physicality of it, whether he just he got a

0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:53.560
<v Speaker 2>little too close. You can have a little like fine,

0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:55.760
<v Speaker 2>be aggressive, not aggressive, but you can be like, oh,

0:13:55.800 --> 0:13:57.199
<v Speaker 2>I just like I want to be in because I

0:13:57.240 --> 0:13:57.480
<v Speaker 2>get that.

0:13:57.600 --> 0:13:58.000
<v Speaker 1>I get that.

0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:00.319
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean type you don't need to be in

0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:04.840
<v Speaker 2>the face, no screaming it he's an old man. Yeah.

0:14:05.080 --> 0:14:06.959
<v Speaker 2>Also I'll just say it. I mean it's older. Yeah,

0:14:07.040 --> 0:14:09.400
<v Speaker 2>for sure. Respect your elders, Respect your coaches, Respect your boss.

0:14:09.400 --> 0:14:11.199
<v Speaker 2>He's your boss. You can be frustrated. You can throw

0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:13.040
<v Speaker 2>the iPad like time. You know, again, I don't love

0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:16.319
<v Speaker 2>when they do. But again, you're frustrated, you're whatever, Like

0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:19.960
<v Speaker 2>you don't need to be in that close a vicinity

0:14:20.200 --> 0:14:23.000
<v Speaker 2>to someone and they make screaming. It's hard for me

0:14:23.080 --> 0:14:25.800
<v Speaker 2>because so many little girls look up to Taylor Swift.

0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:31.360
<v Speaker 2>And so I'll just leave that for people to marinate on.

0:14:31.560 --> 0:14:33.240
<v Speaker 1>I think, just real quick.

0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:35.040
<v Speaker 2>I just didn't want to misquote you, but I just

0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:37.960
<v Speaker 2>from a guy's opinion of the Travis incident. I'm just

0:14:38.320 --> 0:14:41.560
<v Speaker 2>not incident but him with this coach. I remember I

0:14:41.600 --> 0:14:43.680
<v Speaker 2>looked to you and I was like, what did you think.

0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:46.840
<v Speaker 3>Well, the first thing you think is you go straight

0:14:46.960 --> 0:14:52.120
<v Speaker 3>to it's disrespectful towards the coach. Therefore disrespects the coach,

0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:56.480
<v Speaker 3>it disrespects the locker room. On the flip side of that,

0:14:56.720 --> 0:15:01.960
<v Speaker 3>he's obviously passionate, but so whether but I don't know

0:15:02.040 --> 0:15:05.720
<v Speaker 3>the relationship between him and his coach, So whether he's

0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:07.680
<v Speaker 3>crossed the line, I don't know in my opinion, doesn't

0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:10.160
<v Speaker 3>matter on it. They'll know between the coach and the player.

0:15:14.400 --> 0:15:17.520
<v Speaker 3>But it all goes back to, like I mentioned it

0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:19.880
<v Speaker 3>to you at the time, that may put a question

0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:25.360
<v Speaker 3>mark on the environment and how like how close the

0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:27.920
<v Speaker 3>players are and the coach relationship to the players. But

0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:31.800
<v Speaker 3>they've went and won the match, right, so therefore what

0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:36.200
<v Speaker 3>he did provoked a reaction somewhere, which is maybe where

0:15:36.240 --> 0:15:41.080
<v Speaker 3>Travis Kelsey is intelligent, because it provoked a reaction, not

0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:43.600
<v Speaker 3>saying that's what made them win the game, but I'm

0:15:43.640 --> 0:15:46.600
<v Speaker 3>sure they dealt with it internally at halftime and that

0:15:46.760 --> 0:15:49.520
<v Speaker 3>might have been the spark they needed in the second half.

0:15:50.040 --> 0:15:53.600
<v Speaker 3>Although it seems wrong unless you know that locker room,

0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:55.400
<v Speaker 3>where you know that team and you know that environment,

0:15:55.480 --> 0:15:58.920
<v Speaker 3>then it's it's difficult to judge from a football perspective,

0:15:59.320 --> 0:16:04.280
<v Speaker 3>as in football that would Yeah, that doesn't happen a

0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:05.680
<v Speaker 3>lot mm hmm.

0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:07.440
<v Speaker 2>With the person like a bench or something.

0:16:08.840 --> 0:16:11.520
<v Speaker 3>The person would probably be lucky to stay on the field.

0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:14.800
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm mm hmm, even if it's your star player.

0:16:15.360 --> 0:16:15.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:16:16.840 --> 0:16:19.360
<v Speaker 2>Wow, So there's just more respect maybe or what is

0:16:19.440 --> 0:16:23.120
<v Speaker 2>the different culture altogether?

0:16:23.320 --> 0:16:26.200
<v Speaker 3>Probably a different culture, but they've also got and then

0:16:26.280 --> 0:16:29.960
<v Speaker 3>again it goes back to what are the other factors

0:16:30.040 --> 0:16:32.840
<v Speaker 3>that Kansas have been winning together, So there'll be a

0:16:32.920 --> 0:16:35.400
<v Speaker 3>closeness there where they feel like that's acceptable.

0:16:35.640 --> 0:16:39.720
<v Speaker 2>Do you think it's acceptable to scream in your coach's face? No, okay,

0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:42.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't thank you for coming on, mindan, thanks for

0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:49.320
<v Speaker 2>being deposed call it. So we have Crystal Heffner coming on.

0:16:50.480 --> 0:16:56.440
<v Speaker 2>She has a book out that is basically her life

0:16:56.920 --> 0:17:01.720
<v Speaker 2>in the Playboy mansion she married. She was the last

0:17:01.760 --> 0:17:07.440
<v Speaker 2>wife of half She's a third wife from December twenty

0:17:07.560 --> 0:17:13.680
<v Speaker 2>twelve until his death in twenty seventeen. She said she

0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:17.320
<v Speaker 2>had to play mind games to survive. She was relieved

0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:19.879
<v Speaker 2>when the sex was over because she said he was

0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:22.480
<v Speaker 2>not good in bed. She said she felt trapped in

0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:27.320
<v Speaker 2>the marriage and Krystal Heffner says late husband Hugh Hefner

0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:30.600
<v Speaker 2>wanted her to remain skinny with big fake boobs. I

0:17:30.640 --> 0:17:33.840
<v Speaker 2>have a lot of questions for her, so many questions,

0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:36.520
<v Speaker 2>So let's take a break and then get her on.

0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:53.080
<v Speaker 2>First of all, you're doing your book tour, I assume,

0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:56.720
<v Speaker 2>and it's just madness right now because you've got obviously

0:17:56.800 --> 0:17:58.720
<v Speaker 2>a lot of articles out right now that we just

0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:02.879
<v Speaker 2>chatted about here, and it just it has to be

0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:03.639
<v Speaker 2>a lot, right.

0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:06.119
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Yeah, it's been a lot. I just got back

0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:10.800
<v Speaker 1>from the UK and it's definitely been a lot.

0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:16.360
<v Speaker 2>Do you do you have any now that it's out

0:18:16.880 --> 0:18:19.080
<v Speaker 2>and your or at least I have it. It's out

0:18:19.160 --> 0:18:20.240
<v Speaker 2>rayah yeah.

0:18:20.320 --> 0:18:24.119
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. So it went out like January twenty third, and

0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:27.200
<v Speaker 1>then yeah, and then I want to New York. I

0:18:27.280 --> 0:18:29.320
<v Speaker 1>did a New York tour LA and then I just

0:18:29.440 --> 0:18:32.639
<v Speaker 1>got back from UK and UK was intense. I you know,

0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:34.840
<v Speaker 1>spoke in front of like a hundred people's first time

0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:35.520
<v Speaker 1>I've ever done that.

0:18:36.240 --> 0:18:40.800
<v Speaker 2>Good for you. Oh gosh, now that the book is out,

0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:43.480
<v Speaker 2>is there something in there that you're like, Oh, shouldn't

0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:45.960
<v Speaker 2>of I wish I didn't write that because now it's

0:18:46.040 --> 0:18:47.080
<v Speaker 2>become a headline.

0:18:49.359 --> 0:18:54.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't think so. I feel probably the opposite, which

0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:58.840
<v Speaker 1>is cool, Like I feel that everything's there. It's written

0:18:58.880 --> 0:19:02.760
<v Speaker 1>in a way that's to digest and for people to understand,

0:19:02.960 --> 0:19:04.560
<v Speaker 1>and I feel good about it.

0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:06.640
<v Speaker 2>Why did you want to write the book?

0:19:08.200 --> 0:19:13.800
<v Speaker 1>Well, I went to therapy after the Mansion. I was

0:19:13.880 --> 0:19:18.400
<v Speaker 1>having problems with dating and just ordinary life. It's such

0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:21.000
<v Speaker 1>a bubble at the Mansion. And it was also pre

0:19:21.160 --> 0:19:24.040
<v Speaker 1>me too, and pre like talking about mental health. So

0:19:24.280 --> 0:19:25.840
<v Speaker 1>some of the terms I didn't know, Like I didn't

0:19:26.359 --> 0:19:28.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, I didn't know half was a narcissist. While

0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:29.840
<v Speaker 1>I was there, I had no idea. I just thought

0:19:29.880 --> 0:19:32.399
<v Speaker 1>that was his personality and the misogyny and all of

0:19:32.440 --> 0:19:36.520
<v Speaker 1>that stuff. So, you know, having the terms and understanding

0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:39.800
<v Speaker 1>it more just really helped me. And then I thought, okay,

0:19:39.840 --> 0:19:41.560
<v Speaker 1>I need to write this down and get this in

0:19:41.640 --> 0:19:42.640
<v Speaker 1>a book and out to people.

0:19:43.359 --> 0:19:46.439
<v Speaker 2>How old were you when you started at the mansion?

0:19:47.359 --> 0:19:47.880
<v Speaker 1>Twenty one?

0:19:48.440 --> 0:19:50.840
<v Speaker 2>That's young. That's really young.

0:19:51.480 --> 0:19:53.359
<v Speaker 1>You feel like when you're that age, you feel like

0:19:53.440 --> 0:19:56.119
<v Speaker 1>you're grown up. But looking back, I'm thirty seven, and

0:19:56.200 --> 0:19:58.320
<v Speaker 1>looking back at me at twenty one, I'm like such

0:19:58.359 --> 0:20:00.320
<v Speaker 1>a baby. Yeah.

0:20:00.440 --> 0:20:02.320
<v Speaker 2>I mean, there's so many things that happened at twenty

0:20:02.359 --> 0:20:04.960
<v Speaker 2>one that I'm like the forty year old version now

0:20:05.119 --> 0:20:07.440
<v Speaker 2>is like girl, like why were you hiding in a

0:20:07.480 --> 0:20:09.119
<v Speaker 2>bushes from an abuser? You know what I mean? Or like,

0:20:09.200 --> 0:20:11.159
<v Speaker 2>w how did you let that happen? Like it's just

0:20:11.359 --> 0:20:15.320
<v Speaker 2>but you're you're so moldable in that age too, that

0:20:15.480 --> 0:20:19.600
<v Speaker 2>when you get with someone that is a narcissist or

0:20:20.000 --> 0:20:22.440
<v Speaker 2>they just make you feel like you are this is

0:20:22.480 --> 0:20:24.240
<v Speaker 2>as good as life is going to get for you.

0:20:25.600 --> 0:20:26.840
<v Speaker 1>Yes, did you?

0:20:27.200 --> 0:20:31.119
<v Speaker 2>Okay? So tell me where? Okay? So pre mansion, what

0:20:31.400 --> 0:20:34.399
<v Speaker 2>is Crystal? Like? Like are you a college kid? Are

0:20:34.400 --> 0:20:37.160
<v Speaker 2>you wild? Are you? Are you coming from a home

0:20:37.240 --> 0:20:38.920
<v Speaker 2>that you're just like this is I just want out?

0:20:39.119 --> 0:20:41.320
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I know there's I've kind of followed. I

0:20:41.440 --> 0:20:45.040
<v Speaker 2>used to watch Girls next Door a little bit so

0:20:45.240 --> 0:20:48.240
<v Speaker 2>because I followed, like I had this fascination with people

0:20:48.480 --> 0:20:51.280
<v Speaker 2>leaving essentially kind of leaving the lives that they had

0:20:51.359 --> 0:20:53.879
<v Speaker 2>and kind of going in that direction because they of

0:20:53.960 --> 0:20:55.960
<v Speaker 2>course made it look sexy on TV and all the things.

0:20:56.040 --> 0:20:59.360
<v Speaker 2>But who is Crystal and why does she choose then

0:20:59.480 --> 0:21:01.440
<v Speaker 2>to why do twenty one year old Crystal say this

0:21:01.600 --> 0:21:02.720
<v Speaker 2>is a great option for me.

0:21:03.840 --> 0:21:07.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Absolutely, that's a great question. And when I was young,

0:21:07.680 --> 0:21:10.359
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know who I was at all, as you

0:21:10.440 --> 0:21:12.159
<v Speaker 1>know most of us don't. But I came from a

0:21:13.960 --> 0:21:16.600
<v Speaker 1>hard childhood. And you know, I lost my dad when

0:21:16.600 --> 0:21:19.600
<v Speaker 1>I was twelve. My parents are from England. They came

0:21:19.640 --> 0:21:23.200
<v Speaker 1>to America. My dad was a singer and he passed away.

0:21:23.760 --> 0:21:26.080
<v Speaker 1>My mom and I had no money. We were living

0:21:26.160 --> 0:21:29.399
<v Speaker 1>in a bedroom and some other family's home. You know,

0:21:29.440 --> 0:21:31.240
<v Speaker 1>I talk about in the in the book like it's

0:21:31.440 --> 0:21:34.840
<v Speaker 1>you know, smelling someone else's unfamiliar cooking, and feeling like

0:21:36.480 --> 0:21:39.320
<v Speaker 1>not really a family anymore, just the leftover scraps of one.

0:21:40.680 --> 0:21:43.000
<v Speaker 1>My mom married to get her green card, this guy

0:21:43.160 --> 0:21:46.159
<v Speaker 1>named Lyle, and he had a daughter, and he treated

0:21:46.240 --> 0:21:49.040
<v Speaker 1>her so much better than he treated me. And so

0:21:49.200 --> 0:21:51.480
<v Speaker 1>I learned at an early age just to stay small

0:21:51.720 --> 0:21:55.360
<v Speaker 1>and be small, to fit in and just go along

0:21:55.400 --> 0:21:57.399
<v Speaker 1>with what other people wanted. Everyone. You know, when you

0:21:57.480 --> 0:21:59.600
<v Speaker 1>see other people when you have nothing and other people

0:21:59.640 --> 0:22:02.280
<v Speaker 1>have money, you're like, oh, they're better than me. And

0:22:02.359 --> 0:22:05.680
<v Speaker 1>so there's this just feeling of never being enough or

0:22:05.720 --> 0:22:09.000
<v Speaker 1>feeling like you're enough. And I did see Playboy magazines.

0:22:09.800 --> 0:22:12.280
<v Speaker 1>My stepdad had them, and I saw these women and

0:22:12.359 --> 0:22:15.760
<v Speaker 1>they're just they seemed very powerful and they have the

0:22:15.880 --> 0:22:19.159
<v Speaker 1>world at their feet and yeah, I guess that was

0:22:19.240 --> 0:22:22.640
<v Speaker 1>something The celebrities then were like carmenal Electra, Pam Anderson,

0:22:22.720 --> 0:22:25.520
<v Speaker 1>Jennie McCarthy and like, while these women are powerful and

0:22:25.680 --> 0:22:27.719
<v Speaker 1>they're respected, and I want to be just like them.

0:22:27.760 --> 0:22:31.200
<v Speaker 1>So I started molding myself to be that way.

0:22:32.160 --> 0:22:34.760
<v Speaker 2>I remember, I mean, I'm not much older than you.

0:22:34.840 --> 0:22:36.359
<v Speaker 2>We're not very much older than you at all.

0:22:37.600 --> 0:22:39.920
<v Speaker 1>Thirty seven, Yeah, you guys seem younger than me.

0:22:40.040 --> 0:22:43.760
<v Speaker 2>Forty oh wow, forty too. Yeah, we're really but I

0:22:43.840 --> 0:22:46.720
<v Speaker 2>think it's the same. That's why I'm so fascinated and

0:22:47.119 --> 0:22:49.080
<v Speaker 2>honestly for what it's worth. And aylis is like a

0:22:49.160 --> 0:22:51.280
<v Speaker 2>weird word to use for someone that is a stranger,

0:22:51.359 --> 0:22:55.840
<v Speaker 2>but like really proud of you, because I think that's

0:22:55.920 --> 0:22:58.760
<v Speaker 2>like a huge I mean that is Hugh Hefner. I mean,

0:22:58.800 --> 0:23:01.520
<v Speaker 2>we're watching Girls next door. Were all fascinated, right, like

0:23:02.320 --> 0:23:04.720
<v Speaker 2>sisters my body to be there, I probably would have

0:23:04.800 --> 0:23:07.560
<v Speaker 2>checked myself into Lantica midnight dreams when I used to

0:23:07.600 --> 0:23:10.240
<v Speaker 2>live in Los Angeles or whatever. Those midnight dream is that.

0:23:10.240 --> 0:23:12.240
<v Speaker 1>What I about Midsummer night stream.

0:23:12.280 --> 0:23:15.440
<v Speaker 2>It's like, so I and you dress up and it

0:23:15.560 --> 0:23:17.960
<v Speaker 2>was me my best friend Lisa from high school. And

0:23:18.160 --> 0:23:20.359
<v Speaker 2>it was pretty much right when I moved, not right

0:23:20.400 --> 0:23:21.879
<v Speaker 2>when I moved to Los Angeles, but it was a

0:23:21.920 --> 0:23:24.119
<v Speaker 2>couple of years in and I just remember going, like

0:23:25.040 --> 0:23:26.879
<v Speaker 2>I get to go to the Playboy Mansion and like

0:23:26.960 --> 0:23:30.280
<v Speaker 2>you arrived, it was just this really so I could

0:23:30.359 --> 0:23:33.080
<v Speaker 2>see how you could get sucked in. Not saying that's

0:23:33.480 --> 0:23:35.800
<v Speaker 2>your words at all, but like that's I was just like, wow,

0:23:35.960 --> 0:23:39.159
<v Speaker 2>everything is just so shiny, and everything's like and money

0:23:39.320 --> 0:23:42.080
<v Speaker 2>and just influence and like it's just it was a

0:23:42.359 --> 0:23:44.879
<v Speaker 2>very like and I'm just this like wide eyed Michigan

0:23:44.960 --> 0:23:46.520
<v Speaker 2>girl just being like, oh my god, I made it.

0:23:46.960 --> 0:23:48.840
<v Speaker 2>Well that's how I met you. It's like if I

0:23:48.920 --> 0:23:51.119
<v Speaker 2>had the body, I mean, I might have been like trying.

0:23:51.200 --> 0:23:53.040
<v Speaker 2>That's what I'm saying. The one thing that kept me

0:23:53.200 --> 0:23:57.280
<v Speaker 2>is probably the scoliosis and the hello, sweet boobs, blessed.

0:23:57.359 --> 0:24:01.240
<v Speaker 2>But I feel like I like loved watching the girls

0:24:01.320 --> 0:24:03.400
<v Speaker 2>because I thought that too. I'm like, they're just stunning

0:24:03.480 --> 0:24:06.119
<v Speaker 2>and they're so comfortable and their sexuality and they're not

0:24:06.280 --> 0:24:10.679
<v Speaker 2>afraid or embarrassed. Yeah, it just was so like contagious

0:24:10.760 --> 0:24:12.760
<v Speaker 2>to me. And I know there are some people listening

0:24:12.840 --> 0:24:15.720
<v Speaker 2>that will be like, well, that's crazy because it is

0:24:16.200 --> 0:24:21.000
<v Speaker 2>so obviously like this like male you know dominated thing.

0:24:21.040 --> 0:24:24.160
<v Speaker 2>I mean, he created his own little kingdom and recruited

0:24:24.200 --> 0:24:26.680
<v Speaker 2>the hottest I mean, look at your you're literally like

0:24:26.920 --> 0:24:30.720
<v Speaker 2>just beautiful and like light. But I it's crazy that

0:24:30.920 --> 0:24:32.840
<v Speaker 2>I was even attracted to that, and I was twenty

0:24:32.880 --> 0:24:34.720
<v Speaker 2>one and never went. So that's why I asked that,

0:24:34.960 --> 0:24:38.160
<v Speaker 2>because so from an outsider, we're going, Okay, these girls

0:24:38.200 --> 0:24:41.639
<v Speaker 2>are so confident you inside the house, were you just

0:24:41.760 --> 0:24:42.960
<v Speaker 2>at your most insecure?

0:24:44.000 --> 0:24:46.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? I think some of the most beautiful women I've

0:24:46.640 --> 0:24:48.760
<v Speaker 1>ever met in my entire life are the most insecure

0:24:48.800 --> 0:24:52.040
<v Speaker 1>women I've ever met my entire life. It's I don't

0:24:52.119 --> 0:24:54.880
<v Speaker 1>understand it, but it's it's definitely interesting.

0:24:55.080 --> 0:24:56.600
<v Speaker 2>And I don't want to like bust anything of the

0:24:56.600 --> 0:24:59.040
<v Speaker 2>book because I'm actually excited to get in and read,

0:24:59.240 --> 0:25:02.359
<v Speaker 2>especially when you use words like you smell unfamiliar, cooking,

0:25:03.040 --> 0:25:04.879
<v Speaker 2>like you paint a picture. So that's what makes me

0:25:05.000 --> 0:25:07.920
<v Speaker 2>feel excited to like get in and read. But do

0:25:08.080 --> 0:25:10.639
<v Speaker 2>you were do you still have Is there anybody that

0:25:10.680 --> 0:25:13.119
<v Speaker 2>you were friends with then that you're still friends with

0:25:13.240 --> 0:25:16.440
<v Speaker 2>now or do you feel like it's all kind of

0:25:17.560 --> 0:25:21.120
<v Speaker 2>kind of separated and like, yeah, played it faded away.

0:25:21.640 --> 0:25:24.080
<v Speaker 1>I mean I do remember meeting just thousands and thousands

0:25:24.119 --> 0:25:27.280
<v Speaker 1>of women, and I maybe have three friends from there.

0:25:27.640 --> 0:25:30.639
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, there's a girl named Amber that was in

0:25:30.680 --> 0:25:34.040
<v Speaker 1>the book and I'm friends with her still. She was

0:25:34.080 --> 0:25:37.080
<v Speaker 1>a very close friend of AF and I, and you know,

0:25:37.160 --> 0:25:39.680
<v Speaker 1>we just share this weird experience, so we're still friends.

0:25:40.240 --> 0:25:42.360
<v Speaker 2>What was that so, like, you know, obviously you said

0:25:42.359 --> 0:25:44.440
<v Speaker 2>a lot like you had to play mind games to survive.

0:25:45.119 --> 0:25:48.440
<v Speaker 2>You talked about how he was bad at sex. What

0:25:48.680 --> 0:25:50.400
<v Speaker 2>was the thing that you drew you to him?

0:25:52.320 --> 0:25:54.320
<v Speaker 1>I think, you know, have you seen those magazines when

0:25:54.320 --> 0:25:57.879
<v Speaker 1>I was younger and just thinking the Playboy was the

0:25:57.960 --> 0:26:02.359
<v Speaker 1>place of freedom and expression and all the things that

0:26:02.440 --> 0:26:04.680
<v Speaker 1>were was fed you know, they fed to the media

0:26:04.720 --> 0:26:07.760
<v Speaker 1>about it. But when I first met hef I thought

0:26:07.800 --> 0:26:09.960
<v Speaker 1>he was very magnetic. But it was also in a

0:26:10.000 --> 0:26:15.280
<v Speaker 1>place where he's the center of the universe. And yeah,

0:26:15.320 --> 0:26:17.119
<v Speaker 1>I just I was drawn to it. It was it

0:26:17.200 --> 0:26:19.840
<v Speaker 1>was magnetic. It was a place where I thought, Wow,

0:26:21.720 --> 0:26:24.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm being chosen. It's like those little green aliens for

0:26:24.800 --> 0:26:28.440
<v Speaker 1>toy story, like you have been chosen your special It

0:26:28.560 --> 0:26:32.680
<v Speaker 1>definitely gave me validation, and I thought, oh, wow, maybe

0:26:32.720 --> 0:26:35.080
<v Speaker 1>this is a place I could I really feel.

0:26:34.840 --> 0:26:38.159
<v Speaker 2>Like I belonged. When you talk about being trapped in

0:26:38.200 --> 0:26:41.200
<v Speaker 2>the book, was there? What can you go back to

0:26:41.280 --> 0:26:43.920
<v Speaker 2>that moment that first time, feeling like I made the

0:26:44.040 --> 0:26:47.720
<v Speaker 2>wrong decision, like I don't this does not this is

0:26:47.840 --> 0:26:49.240
<v Speaker 2>not it, this does not feel right.

0:26:50.359 --> 0:26:52.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, I moved in and you know, the everything

0:26:53.000 --> 0:26:55.520
<v Speaker 1>revolved around helf there, and so I just made myself like,

0:26:56.160 --> 0:26:57.879
<v Speaker 1>you know, the person hef wanted me to be, and

0:26:58.400 --> 0:27:01.520
<v Speaker 1>became his mirror, just reflecting a self importance back at him.

0:27:01.640 --> 0:27:05.120
<v Speaker 1>And yeah, I'm like, oh, I thought I was doing

0:27:05.160 --> 0:27:09.040
<v Speaker 1>a good job. And it's it's weird having that that mindset.

0:27:09.160 --> 0:27:11.040
<v Speaker 1>But I remember gaining a bit of wake because you

0:27:11.080 --> 0:27:12.800
<v Speaker 1>can order whatever you want from the kitchen. I got

0:27:12.880 --> 0:27:15.200
<v Speaker 1>up to like one hundred and thirty four pounds, and

0:27:16.320 --> 0:27:18.840
<v Speaker 1>I remember like hitting my thigh. He said, oh, someone

0:27:18.880 --> 0:27:22.920
<v Speaker 1>needs to tone up. It was like tap my roots

0:27:23.000 --> 0:27:25.760
<v Speaker 1>because they had to be like white, bleach white, and

0:27:26.680 --> 0:27:30.159
<v Speaker 1>the die always like gave me blisters. And I don't know.

0:27:30.320 --> 0:27:31.840
<v Speaker 1>One time I said he had a nightmare that I

0:27:32.000 --> 0:27:35.920
<v Speaker 1>was a brunette. I suppose like it it's awful, like

0:27:36.040 --> 0:27:38.040
<v Speaker 1>it's like and that's what color my hair is. So

0:27:39.800 --> 0:27:42.639
<v Speaker 1>the control, like the physical control. He would tell me

0:27:42.680 --> 0:27:46.040
<v Speaker 1>where the flag, which is the bunny head logo, wear

0:27:46.200 --> 0:27:49.960
<v Speaker 1>more colorful shirt, what kind of and nick I could have?

0:27:50.119 --> 0:27:52.560
<v Speaker 1>And at first I'm like, oh, I needed I can

0:27:52.600 --> 0:27:54.440
<v Speaker 1>do better. I'm slipping. But after a while I'm like,

0:27:54.480 --> 0:27:58.159
<v Speaker 1>I'm being completely controlled by this man and he's just

0:27:59.080 --> 0:28:01.600
<v Speaker 1>given me some idea entity that I just took on.

0:28:03.280 --> 0:28:06.440
<v Speaker 2>Did you tell me if you if this feels like

0:28:06.560 --> 0:28:08.920
<v Speaker 2>safe enough when you go back to your wedding day,

0:28:10.840 --> 0:28:12.320
<v Speaker 2>what is the first feeling you feel.

0:28:13.480 --> 0:28:16.680
<v Speaker 1>I just wanted it to be over. I thought hef

0:28:16.760 --> 0:28:19.520
<v Speaker 1>wants this good pr story before he dies. If I

0:28:19.600 --> 0:28:21.600
<v Speaker 1>would have said no, I would probably be kicked out

0:28:21.600 --> 0:28:22.920
<v Speaker 1>of the house. I don't know where I would go.

0:28:23.720 --> 0:28:25.639
<v Speaker 1>So I just wanted the wedding. Wanted the wedding to

0:28:25.720 --> 0:28:30.160
<v Speaker 1>be over quickly. He was saying to the I don't

0:28:30.160 --> 0:28:32.440
<v Speaker 1>know minister person, like keep it short. My back hurts,

0:28:32.600 --> 0:28:35.680
<v Speaker 1>like oh perfect. So it was just very quick and

0:28:36.520 --> 0:28:37.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm grateful for that.

0:28:38.280 --> 0:28:40.640
<v Speaker 2>Inside because how long were you actually married to him? Then?

0:28:40.840 --> 0:28:42.720
<v Speaker 2>For three years?

0:28:42.920 --> 0:28:45.440
<v Speaker 1>I was there almost ten years, and I married to

0:28:45.480 --> 0:28:46.600
<v Speaker 1>him for five five?

0:28:47.640 --> 0:28:49.720
<v Speaker 2>Did was there because it said that, you know you

0:28:49.800 --> 0:28:52.680
<v Speaker 2>wrote in the book. You know, I was relieved when

0:28:52.920 --> 0:28:54.600
<v Speaker 2>it stopped referring to sex.

0:28:54.840 --> 0:28:55.120
<v Speaker 1>Was there?

0:28:57.280 --> 0:28:59.520
<v Speaker 2>Did he have like a specific amount that he wanted

0:28:59.520 --> 0:29:01.120
<v Speaker 2>you to have set like is like okay, you have

0:29:01.240 --> 0:29:02.840
<v Speaker 2>to have sex than this many times? Like was it

0:29:02.960 --> 0:29:06.160
<v Speaker 2>more of like a contract with him rather than you know,

0:29:06.200 --> 0:29:06.680
<v Speaker 2>a marriage?

0:29:06.720 --> 0:29:10.200
<v Speaker 1>I guess yeah, it felt like it felt like that. Uh,

0:29:10.920 --> 0:29:13.560
<v Speaker 1>we would have movie nights usually the sex would have

0:29:13.560 --> 0:29:17.040
<v Speaker 1>happened on the weekends. I wasn't ever, and I'm entirely

0:29:17.120 --> 0:29:19.440
<v Speaker 1>sure when he wanted to, but I do remember sitting

0:29:19.480 --> 0:29:21.040
<v Speaker 1>next to him on the couch like during the movie

0:29:21.080 --> 0:29:23.360
<v Speaker 1>and he'd reach in his pocket and pull out a

0:29:23.720 --> 0:29:26.520
<v Speaker 1>piece of tissue that had like the blue Viagra pill

0:29:26.560 --> 0:29:29.120
<v Speaker 1>in it and put it in his mouth. And it's like, oh,

0:29:29.640 --> 0:29:32.360
<v Speaker 1>oh that cringe moment where and I'm like, okay, that's

0:29:32.400 --> 0:29:33.240
<v Speaker 1>what he's expecting.

0:29:34.600 --> 0:29:38.000
<v Speaker 2>I mean, it's crazy to me because you are so

0:29:38.280 --> 0:29:40.640
<v Speaker 2>and I don't mean this like objectifying, like you're just

0:29:40.880 --> 0:29:44.959
<v Speaker 2>very intelligent, well spoken, you're also beautiful thing. And then

0:29:45.000 --> 0:29:47.800
<v Speaker 2>this like and I'm gonna probably get hate for saying

0:29:47.840 --> 0:29:50.080
<v Speaker 2>it's like this like raisin of a man. He's a

0:29:50.160 --> 0:29:52.120
<v Speaker 2>raisin at this point, right, Like he's not it's not

0:29:52.440 --> 0:29:54.760
<v Speaker 2>it's not hot, he's not hot, right, Like how does

0:29:54.840 --> 0:29:55.280
<v Speaker 2>he get you?

0:29:55.680 --> 0:29:55.840
<v Speaker 1>You know?

0:29:56.680 --> 0:29:59.560
<v Speaker 2>Like that she feels like she's I know she's trapped.

0:29:59.600 --> 0:30:02.520
<v Speaker 2>I know she's literally trapped. Sorry we're talking about you're

0:30:02.520 --> 0:30:05.360
<v Speaker 2>not here. But and I'm like, and then Crystal, and

0:30:05.360 --> 0:30:07.239
<v Speaker 2>when is she coming into town? We need her here

0:30:07.320 --> 0:30:09.120
<v Speaker 2>for her? No, but I mean, like that's just but

0:30:09.320 --> 0:30:13.280
<v Speaker 2>I mean, honestly, it's like I'm getting I'm my like

0:30:13.520 --> 0:30:16.160
<v Speaker 2>my heart hurts for you, Like I feel like sad

0:30:16.200 --> 0:30:18.160
<v Speaker 2>because like I know that girl, I've been that girl

0:30:18.280 --> 0:30:20.920
<v Speaker 2>and different when the walls are closing in, yeah, and

0:30:21.040 --> 0:30:24.760
<v Speaker 2>it's just you just want to like go rescue yourself

0:30:24.800 --> 0:30:26.760
<v Speaker 2>from it. Like you obviously were in it and you

0:30:26.880 --> 0:30:29.520
<v Speaker 2>didn't want to be and you felt this, but you

0:30:29.560 --> 0:30:31.320
<v Speaker 2>didn't have Okay, where would I go? How would I

0:30:31.320 --> 0:30:33.520
<v Speaker 2>afford it? All the all the things. And then you're

0:30:33.600 --> 0:30:35.600
<v Speaker 2>just like, Okay, I'm just gonna now have sex with

0:30:35.640 --> 0:30:37.760
<v Speaker 2>this man just because I have no other choice. And

0:30:37.800 --> 0:30:40.160
<v Speaker 2>to have no other choice like breaks my heart for

0:30:41.120 --> 0:30:43.760
<v Speaker 2>you in that situation. And you know other people that

0:30:43.840 --> 0:30:47.160
<v Speaker 2>have obviously been in that same situation. It's like, it's

0:30:47.280 --> 0:30:50.480
<v Speaker 2>just it's not fair, it's not right, and is it

0:30:50.640 --> 0:30:52.160
<v Speaker 2>Is it still hard for you or are you kind

0:30:52.160 --> 0:30:55.520
<v Speaker 2>of now because of the therapy you feel like you're

0:30:55.520 --> 0:30:56.280
<v Speaker 2>in a better place.

0:30:57.360 --> 0:30:59.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I feel that I'm in a much better place.

0:30:59.760 --> 0:31:05.360
<v Speaker 1>And you know, being emotionally abused in all the ways

0:31:05.800 --> 0:31:11.200
<v Speaker 1>there and also financially abused was very hard. And one

0:31:11.240 --> 0:31:13.840
<v Speaker 1>thing that I'm proud of myself for is like starting

0:31:13.880 --> 0:31:16.920
<v Speaker 1>to save money the best way I could, you know.

0:31:16.960 --> 0:31:19.560
<v Speaker 1>I started getting into doing social media ads, I learned

0:31:19.560 --> 0:31:21.280
<v Speaker 1>how to DJ and anything I could do during the

0:31:21.600 --> 0:31:25.400
<v Speaker 1>day to just try and build myself financially because then

0:31:25.440 --> 0:31:27.680
<v Speaker 1>it's like okay if I'm good on my own, because

0:31:27.680 --> 0:31:30.320
<v Speaker 1>he would give us like an allowance, but it was

0:31:30.400 --> 0:31:32.959
<v Speaker 1>never enough to it was like a thousand dollars every Friday.

0:31:32.960 --> 0:31:36.280
<v Speaker 1>It was never enough to be able to leave. You'd

0:31:36.360 --> 0:31:37.800
<v Speaker 1>have to ask him for it, so you feel like

0:31:37.800 --> 0:31:39.520
<v Speaker 1>you're begging for money, and he'd count out the bills

0:31:39.600 --> 0:31:42.400
<v Speaker 1>like one hundred, two hundred, like put them all together,

0:31:42.480 --> 0:31:45.160
<v Speaker 1>or here you go. So I need to do something,

0:31:45.240 --> 0:31:47.640
<v Speaker 1>and so I started making money on social media. I

0:31:47.720 --> 0:31:50.640
<v Speaker 1>started getting into like crypto stuff. I just started trying

0:31:50.880 --> 0:31:52.920
<v Speaker 1>to build on my own while I was in there,

0:31:52.960 --> 0:31:54.920
<v Speaker 1>and I was able to do that, and I think

0:31:55.000 --> 0:31:57.600
<v Speaker 1>that helped me. Like looking back now, it's like I

0:31:57.720 --> 0:32:00.400
<v Speaker 1>don't ever kind of have to be in that situation again.

0:32:01.200 --> 0:32:03.200
<v Speaker 1>And I do have friends that are and I tell them,

0:32:03.200 --> 0:32:06.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, save your money, save your money. And you know,

0:32:06.960 --> 0:32:10.080
<v Speaker 1>I didn't recognize my situation was so bad in the beginning,

0:32:10.160 --> 0:32:12.000
<v Speaker 1>but once I did, you know, at least I now

0:32:12.200 --> 0:32:14.280
<v Speaker 1>have the tools that I can try and help other

0:32:14.360 --> 0:32:16.400
<v Speaker 1>people that are in bad situations.

0:32:16.480 --> 0:32:19.120
<v Speaker 2>But well, I think a lot of us go through that.

0:32:19.240 --> 0:32:21.920
<v Speaker 2>Like it's a slow conditioning almost. It's not like you

0:32:22.040 --> 0:32:24.640
<v Speaker 2>go from like freedom to captivity. It's like the sexy

0:32:24.800 --> 0:32:28.160
<v Speaker 2>lure of a lifestyle, right, and then then you're in

0:32:28.440 --> 0:32:30.360
<v Speaker 2>and then there's one more layer and then pretty soon

0:32:30.440 --> 0:32:33.400
<v Speaker 2>you just find yourself kind of like stripped of what

0:32:33.520 --> 0:32:35.040
<v Speaker 2>you know to be true and then you have this

0:32:35.160 --> 0:32:37.680
<v Speaker 2>disassociation like, wait, that's not how who I know to be.

0:32:38.440 --> 0:32:42.600
<v Speaker 2>So tell me, does he like when he's getting towards

0:32:42.640 --> 0:32:45.480
<v Speaker 2>the end of life and this is going to be

0:32:45.800 --> 0:32:47.240
<v Speaker 2>You can just say yes or no if you feel

0:32:47.280 --> 0:32:49.720
<v Speaker 2>like not saying too many words. I get it where

0:32:49.720 --> 0:32:51.560
<v Speaker 2>you obviously just pass. It's wind down. We do what

0:32:51.600 --> 0:32:54.520
<v Speaker 2>we want. But does it feel like freedom is coming

0:32:55.480 --> 0:32:59.360
<v Speaker 2>for you when? Or does does him dying become this

0:32:59.440 --> 0:33:02.000
<v Speaker 2>whole other thing that you feel obligated to be and like,

0:33:02.040 --> 0:33:03.000
<v Speaker 2>what does that feel like?

0:33:04.600 --> 0:33:08.200
<v Speaker 1>It's interesting because hef was like old for so long,

0:33:08.320 --> 0:33:10.400
<v Speaker 1>like everyone knew him as like being old. So I

0:33:10.520 --> 0:33:13.640
<v Speaker 1>definitely thought that he was like immortal in some way,

0:33:14.760 --> 0:33:19.000
<v Speaker 1>like that he would be around forever. So I wasn't

0:33:19.080 --> 0:33:21.720
<v Speaker 1>really planning for that or or what would happen after,

0:33:23.680 --> 0:33:26.440
<v Speaker 1>you know, when I was in there. This is also

0:33:26.520 --> 0:33:28.960
<v Speaker 1>a man that was praised so highly by the media,

0:33:29.400 --> 0:33:32.160
<v Speaker 1>Like the media put him on such a pedestal, and

0:33:33.800 --> 0:33:36.040
<v Speaker 1>he would say horrible things in the media, like I've

0:33:36.440 --> 0:33:38.640
<v Speaker 1>I look back on this interview where he said he

0:33:38.760 --> 0:33:41.320
<v Speaker 1>went from seven girlfriends to three and then he said,

0:33:41.400 --> 0:33:44.360
<v Speaker 1>oh I thinned the herd. And this stuff was just

0:33:45.080 --> 0:33:49.040
<v Speaker 1>everywhere perpetuated in the media and people idolized him. So

0:33:49.320 --> 0:33:51.840
<v Speaker 1>when I started having those kind of doubts creep in

0:33:51.960 --> 0:33:55.200
<v Speaker 1>and all those things, I would think, Okay, like maybe

0:33:55.280 --> 0:33:58.480
<v Speaker 1>something's wrong with me, because he's put this is all

0:33:58.560 --> 0:33:59.120
<v Speaker 1>pre me too.

0:33:59.800 --> 0:34:01.560
<v Speaker 2>And this is go.

0:34:01.680 --> 0:34:03.560
<v Speaker 1>This is just how men are, and maybe it's just

0:34:03.680 --> 0:34:06.080
<v Speaker 1>me and I need to do better. So I grappled

0:34:06.120 --> 0:34:10.200
<v Speaker 1>with that. But after he passed away, I had this

0:34:10.360 --> 0:34:14.040
<v Speaker 1>feeling of guilt and I didn't leave the house for weeks,

0:34:14.360 --> 0:34:17.120
<v Speaker 1>and I don't know why. I kept thinking, Oh, is

0:34:17.120 --> 0:34:18.560
<v Speaker 1>there something we could have done better? Is there a

0:34:18.560 --> 0:34:20.960
<v Speaker 1>different antibotic we could have given him? He died from

0:34:21.000 --> 0:34:27.239
<v Speaker 1>my ecola infection, and it was weird, And slowly I

0:34:27.480 --> 0:34:32.719
<v Speaker 1>started understanding what my freedom meant. And I started traveling

0:34:32.880 --> 0:34:36.280
<v Speaker 1>and seeing the world, and I bought a farm in Hawaii,

0:34:36.440 --> 0:34:40.360
<v Speaker 1>and now I can say I truly feel free.

0:34:53.719 --> 0:34:56.799
<v Speaker 2>How does dating look now? Do you feel at first?

0:34:56.920 --> 0:34:58.160
<v Speaker 2>When you started? Judged?

0:35:00.840 --> 0:35:04.440
<v Speaker 1>Dating was very hard in the beginning. So I had

0:35:04.440 --> 0:35:09.040
<v Speaker 1>a couple of relationships where the people were controlling, manipulative,

0:35:09.560 --> 0:35:10.400
<v Speaker 1>and I thought, you go.

0:35:10.520 --> 0:35:14.680
<v Speaker 2>From what you know, you go to the same person,

0:35:14.840 --> 0:35:17.840
<v Speaker 2>different name, same cast, different Yeah, like.

0:35:17.840 --> 0:35:19.839
<v Speaker 1>This time I'm paying the bills, like what the heck

0:35:20.400 --> 0:35:24.160
<v Speaker 1>struggling musician, an actor, and I'm paying for my own misery,

0:35:24.880 --> 0:35:29.319
<v Speaker 1>Like this is torture. And I remember a few matchmakers

0:35:29.360 --> 0:35:30.920
<v Speaker 1>and they asked me, They're like, oh, what do you

0:35:31.120 --> 0:35:34.759
<v Speaker 1>like simple for my profile, I'm like, what do I like?

0:35:34.880 --> 0:35:37.920
<v Speaker 1>I didn't even know, and I think that's when I

0:35:38.000 --> 0:35:41.200
<v Speaker 1>had to take a step back. And it's very simple.

0:35:41.360 --> 0:35:44.000
<v Speaker 1>But I'm just like, okay, what do I like? Like? Okay,

0:35:44.000 --> 0:35:46.160
<v Speaker 1>I like travel, I like nature, I like spend time

0:35:46.200 --> 0:35:49.160
<v Speaker 1>with my dog. And I had to slowly find myself

0:35:49.239 --> 0:35:52.840
<v Speaker 1>again and once I did that, I felt more powerful

0:35:53.280 --> 0:35:55.440
<v Speaker 1>and then I wouldn't put up with any thing like

0:35:55.560 --> 0:35:59.160
<v Speaker 1>that dating. And so now I am dating somebody who's

0:35:59.480 --> 0:36:03.360
<v Speaker 1>very normal, kind and caring and has a great career

0:36:03.600 --> 0:36:07.160
<v Speaker 1>and feels like my equal. So I'm like, yeah, I

0:36:08.000 --> 0:36:08.279
<v Speaker 1>made it.

0:36:09.640 --> 0:36:12.320
<v Speaker 2>How long have you guys been dating for about six months?

0:36:12.400 --> 0:36:12.520
<v Speaker 1>Now?

0:36:13.280 --> 0:36:15.200
<v Speaker 2>Oh? Good? I love that. Do you want kids?

0:36:16.080 --> 0:36:17.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Yeah, I would like kids.

0:36:18.680 --> 0:36:20.680
<v Speaker 2>You're such a tender heart. I just want the world

0:36:20.719 --> 0:36:23.880
<v Speaker 2>to have more of you. Do you ever? This is

0:36:24.000 --> 0:36:28.200
<v Speaker 2>like weird, and but people say when their loved ones

0:36:28.239 --> 0:36:30.640
<v Speaker 2>pass away, like if did you ever have anything that

0:36:30.880 --> 0:36:33.000
<v Speaker 2>You're like, oh, that was half where he entered your dream?

0:36:33.080 --> 0:36:35.160
<v Speaker 2>Or he wants like has he come back to say,

0:36:35.520 --> 0:36:39.600
<v Speaker 2>like I'll never forget My great grandma her husband was

0:36:39.600 --> 0:36:42.200
<v Speaker 2>abusive and she had told my grandma one time that

0:36:42.440 --> 0:36:45.920
<v Speaker 2>he came back in a dream and apologized, Oh, and

0:36:46.920 --> 0:36:49.040
<v Speaker 2>I just always remembered that as a kid. I don't

0:36:49.040 --> 0:36:51.239
<v Speaker 2>know why she told me that as a kid, but well,

0:36:51.320 --> 0:36:54.480
<v Speaker 2>that's like very hopeful though. Yeah, but I'm just curious.

0:36:54.520 --> 0:36:56.920
<v Speaker 2>Has he ever kind of entered in some way to

0:36:57.160 --> 0:37:01.800
<v Speaker 2>just be like I'm sorry or you know, wish you

0:37:01.840 --> 0:37:02.640
<v Speaker 2>well kind of vibe.

0:37:03.760 --> 0:37:05.840
<v Speaker 1>I think part of writing the book, like I was

0:37:05.960 --> 0:37:09.400
<v Speaker 1>having dreams, like I kept dreaming about the mansion, and

0:37:09.480 --> 0:37:12.120
<v Speaker 1>the book opens up with a dream that I had,

0:37:12.320 --> 0:37:16.080
<v Speaker 1>like dreaming that I'm still there. And the most recent

0:37:16.200 --> 0:37:18.840
<v Speaker 1>dream I've had is I go into the mansion and

0:37:19.200 --> 0:37:20.880
<v Speaker 1>I walk in a half's bedroom and I look to

0:37:20.880 --> 0:37:22.320
<v Speaker 1>the right and there's kind of pillows all over the

0:37:22.360 --> 0:37:25.080
<v Speaker 1>floor and HEF's in there with like a harem of women.

0:37:25.200 --> 0:37:28.200
<v Speaker 1>They're just all kind of on the floor. And for

0:37:28.400 --> 0:37:31.360
<v Speaker 1>some reason, I'm like I've risen above it all, and

0:37:31.440 --> 0:37:33.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh, I don't need to be here, like

0:37:33.560 --> 0:37:35.759
<v Speaker 1>you're happy you have that, Like I don't need to

0:37:35.800 --> 0:37:38.320
<v Speaker 1>be here anymore, like thank you for the lessons. So

0:37:38.440 --> 0:37:42.120
<v Speaker 1>I feel in my dream maybe I've had some closure.

0:37:42.560 --> 0:37:44.680
<v Speaker 2>Well, I think you've taken power over it too. I

0:37:44.760 --> 0:37:47.480
<v Speaker 2>think that's that to me is what I just took

0:37:47.520 --> 0:37:49.799
<v Speaker 2>from that is like you you have the power now

0:37:49.880 --> 0:37:51.919
<v Speaker 2>to go. I'm walking away from this because I don't

0:37:51.920 --> 0:37:52.720
<v Speaker 2>need to be here anymore.

0:37:53.200 --> 0:37:55.560
<v Speaker 1>Wow. Yeah, I like to think that, so thank you. Yeah.

0:37:56.239 --> 0:38:00.319
<v Speaker 2>I sometimes wonder and I think there's always divine timing

0:38:00.400 --> 0:38:04.480
<v Speaker 2>for everything. It is not lost on me that hef

0:38:05.520 --> 0:38:10.920
<v Speaker 2>died before the real awakening for women, Like we've had

0:38:10.920 --> 0:38:14.080
<v Speaker 2>a slow awakening, but we have really started to take

0:38:14.760 --> 0:38:18.440
<v Speaker 2>over and take responsibility and take ownership and we're not

0:38:18.520 --> 0:38:23.040
<v Speaker 2>afraid to speak as much. And I always wonder what

0:38:23.160 --> 0:38:25.600
<v Speaker 2>would have happened to him if he were still alive,

0:38:25.880 --> 0:38:30.320
<v Speaker 2>because his whole dynasty is exactly what we're all trying

0:38:30.880 --> 0:38:34.960
<v Speaker 2>to fight against. So if there was a HEF now,

0:38:35.239 --> 0:38:37.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't even know. Have you ever thought about, like

0:38:37.360 --> 0:38:41.960
<v Speaker 2>would that even like a twenty twenty four version of

0:38:42.080 --> 0:38:44.360
<v Speaker 2>your life? I don't even think it would exist.

0:38:45.840 --> 0:38:49.799
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you're so right. The me too happened a month

0:38:49.840 --> 0:38:53.279
<v Speaker 1>after he passed away. It's as almost almost as if

0:38:53.560 --> 0:38:57.600
<v Speaker 1>like perfect timing of his life. I don't know how

0:38:57.680 --> 0:39:00.800
<v Speaker 1>he would be behaving now. I think he would be

0:39:00.920 --> 0:39:06.319
<v Speaker 1>doing the same thing, but maybe just quiet it yeah, yeah,

0:39:06.480 --> 0:39:08.879
<v Speaker 1>more more private, because I don't think he knew anything else.

0:39:09.040 --> 0:39:12.040
<v Speaker 1>I didn't. I don't think he knew how to not

0:39:12.200 --> 0:39:13.080
<v Speaker 1>objectify women.

0:39:14.400 --> 0:39:18.160
<v Speaker 2>No, I mean it sounds it's so consistent and for

0:39:18.280 --> 0:39:20.160
<v Speaker 2>so long. I don't know that he could.

0:39:21.000 --> 0:39:21.040
<v Speaker 1>No.

0:39:22.160 --> 0:39:24.800
<v Speaker 2>So Crystal, what are you doing now? I mean, obviously

0:39:24.840 --> 0:39:26.520
<v Speaker 2>you have your book out, but what do you want

0:39:26.600 --> 0:39:30.799
<v Speaker 2>people to know because you've kept Hefner as your last name? Right?

0:39:32.080 --> 0:39:35.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, having a meeting today to talk about trying to

0:39:36.080 --> 0:39:40.719
<v Speaker 1>change it on my social socials like back to backs

0:39:40.840 --> 0:39:42.080
<v Speaker 1>my original name and what I mean.

0:39:42.120 --> 0:39:45.759
<v Speaker 2>Obviously you know we know the reasoning, but I mean,

0:39:45.880 --> 0:39:47.320
<v Speaker 2>is it just something where you just want to just

0:39:47.680 --> 0:39:50.680
<v Speaker 2>drop him completely so that you're not known for being

0:39:50.760 --> 0:39:54.080
<v Speaker 2>Hefner's ex wife? Like do you want to be? Obviously, Crystal,

0:39:54.120 --> 0:39:55.320
<v Speaker 2>what would you say it was? Harris?

0:39:55.520 --> 0:39:58.719
<v Speaker 1>Harris? Yeah, Harris, Yeah, Yeah, I think I'll always be

0:39:58.880 --> 0:40:03.319
<v Speaker 1>known Half's wife. I just hope to do some good

0:40:03.360 --> 0:40:05.560
<v Speaker 1>with it. Yeah. I'm still on the board of his foundation,

0:40:06.239 --> 0:40:09.960
<v Speaker 1>which is crazy, and we're probub to do an auction

0:40:10.080 --> 0:40:13.520
<v Speaker 1>with Julian's with lots of HEF's things and Playboy things,

0:40:14.120 --> 0:40:16.440
<v Speaker 1>And I just thought like, Okay, if I've been part

0:40:16.480 --> 0:40:19.439
<v Speaker 1>of this. Maybe we can rectify some damage that he's done.

0:40:19.520 --> 0:40:22.560
<v Speaker 1>And if we can take some of that money from

0:40:22.640 --> 0:40:26.480
<v Speaker 1>the auction proceeds and donate it to like women's charities

0:40:26.560 --> 0:40:28.520
<v Speaker 1>or anything that helps like women and children to try

0:40:28.600 --> 0:40:32.680
<v Speaker 1>and like reverse the damage he's done, then you know,

0:40:32.800 --> 0:40:36.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm on board with that. But yeah, it's interesting because

0:40:36.560 --> 0:40:38.280
<v Speaker 1>I look at Crystal Harris and I kind of googled

0:40:38.320 --> 0:40:43.160
<v Speaker 1>myself as Harris, and I remember like the meek, sad

0:40:43.600 --> 0:40:46.440
<v Speaker 1>girl that I was, and like, I actually with this

0:40:46.640 --> 0:40:50.080
<v Speaker 1>Crystal heff Nor, I empowered myself in ways that really

0:40:50.120 --> 0:40:53.719
<v Speaker 1>don't have anything to do with helf but but in

0:40:53.800 --> 0:40:55.200
<v Speaker 1>a way he helped me, you know, get there with

0:40:55.280 --> 0:40:57.520
<v Speaker 1>the way I was treated. So I don't know, I'm

0:40:57.560 --> 0:40:59.320
<v Speaker 1>conflicted still, as you can tell.

0:41:00.320 --> 0:41:03.120
<v Speaker 2>Noan, I think there's something I like the positive spin

0:41:03.200 --> 0:41:04.600
<v Speaker 2>on it, because I was thinking I was going to

0:41:04.640 --> 0:41:06.680
<v Speaker 2>ask you, like, what do you think you took from

0:41:06.719 --> 0:41:09.200
<v Speaker 2>it that was positive? And I feel like now it's

0:41:09.280 --> 0:41:11.320
<v Speaker 2>like again, you can use the name and spin it

0:41:11.400 --> 0:41:13.320
<v Speaker 2>for good. You know, what would they say with the

0:41:13.520 --> 0:41:16.759
<v Speaker 2>enemy meant for evil? He made it good. So however,

0:41:17.160 --> 0:41:18.880
<v Speaker 2>I just always butcher that, But you know what I'm saying, Like,

0:41:18.960 --> 0:41:21.839
<v Speaker 2>it's just like you get to you get to make

0:41:21.880 --> 0:41:24.040
<v Speaker 2>it good. You know, you get to be the person

0:41:24.120 --> 0:41:28.680
<v Speaker 2>that takes something that you know hurt somebody too, especially

0:41:28.719 --> 0:41:31.200
<v Speaker 2>that hurt you and devalued you and made you feel

0:41:31.280 --> 0:41:33.040
<v Speaker 2>less than you get to now take that and empower

0:41:33.120 --> 0:41:35.200
<v Speaker 2>other people and help other people. I think that's a

0:41:35.200 --> 0:41:37.719
<v Speaker 2>beautiful thing. And that's that's where i'd keep the half part,

0:41:38.040 --> 0:41:44.080
<v Speaker 2>just because you will probably get more people involved with

0:41:44.320 --> 0:41:47.360
<v Speaker 2>the Halfner name. Unfortunately. Yeah, I think it feels to

0:41:47.480 --> 0:41:53.000
<v Speaker 2>me like you're taking the Hefner and really giving it

0:41:53.160 --> 0:41:56.279
<v Speaker 2>like a poetic spin, but also some clarification and a

0:41:56.360 --> 0:41:59.279
<v Speaker 2>little like legacy in the twenty twenty four version of

0:41:59.400 --> 0:42:03.040
<v Speaker 2>what it could be. He's actually listen. I wasn't a

0:42:03.160 --> 0:42:05.600
<v Speaker 2>huge hef fan, if I'm honest, But I have to

0:42:05.640 --> 0:42:09.000
<v Speaker 2>say he's pretty smart that he picked you to be with,

0:42:09.280 --> 0:42:13.000
<v Speaker 2>because I think you were probably wildly intimidating to him

0:42:13.600 --> 0:42:16.320
<v Speaker 2>at how beautiful and smart you were, and so he

0:42:16.440 --> 0:42:18.960
<v Speaker 2>knew he needed to keep you close. Is my guest.

0:42:19.120 --> 0:42:22.040
<v Speaker 2>I have a long history with narcissists, so I don't

0:42:22.040 --> 0:42:25.600
<v Speaker 2>call myself an expert, but I would say probably something

0:42:26.640 --> 0:42:29.360
<v Speaker 2>that was most attractive to you. Is this like internal

0:42:29.440 --> 0:42:32.399
<v Speaker 2>flame and confidence that you have, So I would say

0:42:32.680 --> 0:42:36.120
<v Speaker 2>that is probably like terrifying to someone like him, and

0:42:36.280 --> 0:42:39.920
<v Speaker 2>why he made sure to make you a wife. So

0:42:40.840 --> 0:42:42.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm glad we are left with you and not him.

0:42:43.080 --> 0:42:45.279
<v Speaker 2>I hate to say it that bluntly, but I really

0:42:45.520 --> 0:42:46.640
<v Speaker 2>appreciate what you're doing.

0:42:47.480 --> 0:42:48.480
<v Speaker 1>That means a lot. Thank you.

0:42:50.160 --> 0:42:52.600
<v Speaker 2>What is one thing that you want our listeners to

0:42:53.680 --> 0:42:56.000
<v Speaker 2>leave with when it comes to your book? And just

0:42:56.200 --> 0:42:59.879
<v Speaker 2>you as like what you're taking from all of this too,

0:43:00.080 --> 0:43:02.480
<v Speaker 2>like how you've like who you are today.

0:43:04.560 --> 0:43:07.680
<v Speaker 1>When I first started writing this book, I wanted it

0:43:07.800 --> 0:43:09.719
<v Speaker 1>to be the book I wish I had when I

0:43:09.760 --> 0:43:13.560
<v Speaker 1>was twenty one, and I think I accomplished that. You know,

0:43:13.600 --> 0:43:16.120
<v Speaker 1>I've had a few like twenty one year olds actually

0:43:16.160 --> 0:43:21.080
<v Speaker 1>write to me and thank me. It's the book is

0:43:21.120 --> 0:43:25.080
<v Speaker 1>dedicated to anyone who's you know, struggled with self self

0:43:25.160 --> 0:43:28.840
<v Speaker 1>worth and self acceptance and that they're not alone. I

0:43:28.920 --> 0:43:31.040
<v Speaker 1>think it's just really important to know who you are

0:43:31.800 --> 0:43:34.000
<v Speaker 1>and love who you are, because I think the more

0:43:34.040 --> 0:43:36.640
<v Speaker 1>you do that, the less you find yourself in these

0:43:36.719 --> 0:43:37.680
<v Speaker 1>kind of situations.

0:43:38.280 --> 0:43:42.520
<v Speaker 2>So absolutely, well, I love you anytime you're in Nashville.

0:43:42.600 --> 0:43:45.560
<v Speaker 2>Let us know. You're so sweet. Thank you so much

0:43:45.640 --> 0:43:49.799
<v Speaker 2>for coming on. You're just a doll. So yeah, I'm

0:43:49.840 --> 0:43:50.839
<v Speaker 2>excited to read your book.

0:43:51.320 --> 0:43:52.840
<v Speaker 1>Thank you. I hope you like it. Let me know.

0:43:53.000 --> 0:43:56.239
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna r everyone follow Crystal Hafner and go get

0:43:56.280 --> 0:43:59.279
<v Speaker 2>her book because she's just the best. And listen, we

0:43:59.400 --> 0:44:06.399
<v Speaker 2>all we all feel we're all insecure, right and straight. Yeah,

0:44:06.560 --> 0:44:10.919
<v Speaker 2>so let's just support of the women. Do this thing, girl,

0:44:11.120 --> 0:44:12.360
<v Speaker 2>and then we'll see you in Nashville.

0:44:13.040 --> 0:44:15.520
<v Speaker 1>Sounds good, audience, all right, by hen Bye?

0:44:16.640 --> 0:44:21.279
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So I just I love her because again, think

0:44:21.280 --> 0:44:23.680
<v Speaker 2>about like your twenty one year old self and all

0:44:23.760 --> 0:44:25.839
<v Speaker 2>the things. That's why I always hate when people are

0:44:25.920 --> 0:44:29.640
<v Speaker 2>judged by their past, because you are just such a

0:44:30.360 --> 0:44:33.440
<v Speaker 2>different person and you have different experiences in your past.

0:44:33.560 --> 0:44:36.560
<v Speaker 2>Is you go into that because again, when you're you're

0:44:36.640 --> 0:44:40.200
<v Speaker 2>told something from your childhood or or whatever from the

0:44:40.280 --> 0:44:43.640
<v Speaker 2>ex boyfriend, Like I stayed in abusive relationships because that

0:44:43.840 --> 0:44:46.640
<v Speaker 2>is what I was told I deserved. So why would

0:44:46.680 --> 0:44:49.560
<v Speaker 2>I not continue abusive relationships for ten years after that?

0:44:50.160 --> 0:44:52.759
<v Speaker 2>Do you know what I'm saying? Like, and there's this

0:44:53.000 --> 0:44:57.120
<v Speaker 2>lifestyle that looks really shiny. Yeah, I mean you're twenty. Yeah,

0:44:57.120 --> 0:45:00.960
<v Speaker 2>I wish I had Lisa. I mean, I you've been there.

0:45:01.120 --> 0:45:02.640
<v Speaker 2>I have to text her. I know she has it,

0:45:03.760 --> 0:45:06.560
<v Speaker 2>but yeah, oh yeah crazy. And there was a time

0:45:06.640 --> 0:45:08.399
<v Speaker 2>in my life where I was like, oh, I want

0:45:08.440 --> 0:45:10.880
<v Speaker 2>to live at the mansion, like I mean, I literally

0:45:10.960 --> 0:45:12.680
<v Speaker 2>thought if I had the body, I would have been

0:45:12.719 --> 0:45:17.680
<v Speaker 2>outside trying to get in. Crazy again, you have an

0:45:17.719 --> 0:45:20.360
<v Speaker 2>amazing body. Oh I love my body.

0:45:20.800 --> 0:45:21.000
<v Speaker 1>Good.

0:45:21.160 --> 0:45:23.120
<v Speaker 2>But I did not have what we didn't have what

0:45:23.239 --> 0:45:25.880
<v Speaker 2>what half was looking for it in twenty one? Apparently

0:45:25.920 --> 0:45:27.640
<v Speaker 2>it didn't like Brunette, sad of it and no one

0:45:27.680 --> 0:45:30.879
<v Speaker 2>to write and make eye contact with me? Okay, yeah,

0:45:30.920 --> 0:45:32.800
<v Speaker 2>I was really bleaching. I had that going for me.

0:45:33.680 --> 0:45:36.640
<v Speaker 2>Oh dear, Okay, well everyone have a great week, and

0:45:37.320 --> 0:45:41.200
<v Speaker 2>Kristen tell me have an amazing trip to a Rubot.

0:45:41.280 --> 0:45:43.640
<v Speaker 2>You will be fine. Love and protected is what I

0:45:43.680 --> 0:45:46.000
<v Speaker 2>tell myself. But I believe it. Yep, amen to that.

0:45:46.320 --> 0:45:47.880
<v Speaker 2>I love you, Okay. Bye By