WEBVTT - Love Lessons from Liliana Montenegro

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<v Speaker 1>I repeat this a million times in my life. People

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<v Speaker 1>don't change. We are who we are.

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<v Speaker 2>You can't change them.

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<v Speaker 1>No, and we can't change ourselves either. We are already

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<v Speaker 1>said in those ways. But we can truly compromise. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>if you get to a point in your relationship where

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<v Speaker 1>you have to start thinking about how to spice it up,

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<v Speaker 1>you've already screwed up.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh Jane, Okay, sure, I just kidding.

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<v Speaker 1>Hello.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome to a special love edition of Cheeky's and Chill

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<v Speaker 2>You guys. I am excited because today's guest she has

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of experience, a beautiful personality, and I can't

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<v Speaker 2>wait for you guys to meet her. Her name is

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<v Speaker 2>Leliana Mategro. She is an actress. She's a comedian and

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<v Speaker 2>the co host of a podcast name Date My. I

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<v Speaker 2>will lead that first on Michael Tura. So welcome here.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much, so much for being here.

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<v Speaker 1>It is an honor. It is such a privilege to

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<v Speaker 1>be here with you and talking about love, specially my

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<v Speaker 1>favorite subject in the world.

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<v Speaker 2>I know I have a lot of questions, by the way,

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<v Speaker 2>so I hope you don't mind.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my goodness, I am.

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<v Speaker 2>A hopeless I guess a hopeless romantic and away. I

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<v Speaker 2>love to love and to be loved. So I thought,

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<v Speaker 2>you know what, what better than to have a conversation

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<v Speaker 2>with a woman who has been married five times. We'll

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<v Speaker 2>get into that right now, you guys, which I to

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<v Speaker 2>me is very intriguing.

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<v Speaker 1>Not at the same time, let's clarify that.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's clarify that. But and it's it's the week of

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<v Speaker 2>Valentine's Day, so I said this, let's talk about everything

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<v Speaker 2>that has to do with love. So, so thank you,

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<v Speaker 2>thank you for taking the time to be here with me.

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<v Speaker 2>It's my brand new said. I'm still getting used to it.

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<v Speaker 2>I've done audio for so long. Thank you so much.

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<v Speaker 2>I wanted you to be warm. Yes, okay, so do

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<v Speaker 2>you feel like it's hugging you?

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<v Speaker 1>It is very much hugging me.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, first of.

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<v Speaker 1>All, in which I know are very almost sixty eight

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<v Speaker 1>years of desserth what in March sixty.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not even joking. I did not think you.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm approaching this seventy with a lot of hope.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you look you look great, and you have a

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<v Speaker 2>beautiful energy. It's my first time meeting her, you guys,

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<v Speaker 2>But to me, it's like I feel your energy and

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<v Speaker 2>you're very like you're just a big, beautiful personality. I

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<v Speaker 2>love it. I love it, and so Okay, first of all,

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<v Speaker 2>I'd like to ask you the podcast date Malita. First,

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<v Speaker 2>why why the name the title? I just I want

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<v Speaker 2>to know.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, the title came I Love It from the creators, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>Leo clam They put the name together, and it was

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<v Speaker 1>their job to find the Awlita they wanted for this

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<v Speaker 1>particular show. You know, I never thought in my entire life,

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<v Speaker 1>as crazy as I have been, as much as people

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<v Speaker 1>call me the firecracker, as much as people like you

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<v Speaker 1>tell me you have a great energy, I've always believed

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<v Speaker 1>that you have to stay young, no matter how old. Absolutely,

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<v Speaker 1>we never change who we are. When we become this

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<v Speaker 1>beautiful person as a child, and then a teenager and

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<v Speaker 1>then an adult, we're already set on who we are. Me.

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<v Speaker 1>I love love, just like you just mentioned to me before.

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<v Speaker 1>I love to love. I love being loved. And that

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<v Speaker 1>comes not only with your children, with your friends, with

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<v Speaker 1>your co workers, and with those that you choose as

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<v Speaker 1>your life partners. It's not an easy thing.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not it's a big risk, but it's something that

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<v Speaker 2>you get addicted to in a way, It's like, that's

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<v Speaker 2>what I always say. Love is the moving forward of

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<v Speaker 2>the universe, and sinamore Without love, how do we even exist.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like, even for me, it's like you're busy, you

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<v Speaker 2>have so many things to do, but then at the

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<v Speaker 2>end of the day, you want to be hugged, even

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<v Speaker 2>if it isn't by a partners, by maybe a friend

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<v Speaker 2>with benefits, a sibling, I don't know, just hug me.

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<v Speaker 2>I just need to be held love. It doesn't have

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<v Speaker 2>to just be a significant other. It's just love is

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<v Speaker 2>such a beautiful thing. It's a scary thing. It's a risk,

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<v Speaker 2>but I love to feel it and I love challenging. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>it is challenging, very challenging.

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<v Speaker 1>But you know, when we are little, we're already set

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<v Speaker 1>and who loves us, and that love stays within us.

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<v Speaker 1>Like for me, my biggest love ever was Mayawulita was

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<v Speaker 1>both may Aulita, as though I was closer to my

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<v Speaker 1>mother's mother, I have never in my life met a

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<v Speaker 1>more gentle, kinder soul than that woman was to me,

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<v Speaker 1>where she would rush in the mornings to the fresh

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<v Speaker 1>bakery to get me that sweet bread that I could

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<v Speaker 1>take to school, and I could see her running from

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<v Speaker 1>the bakery to where I was taking the bus, with

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<v Speaker 1>her little belly, just bouncing down the street and going literally,

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<v Speaker 1>Lily your bread. That to me was love, Yes, caring

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<v Speaker 1>for others, giving of yourself. Absolutely, But we don't work

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<v Speaker 1>hard enough at it anymore. Times have changed so much

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<v Speaker 1>that we have kind of forgotten what love is all about.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's the only in my mind and in my heart.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like you just said, it's the only thing that

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<v Speaker 1>moves the world, and it's the one thing that we

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<v Speaker 1>are letting go off.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my gosh, yes, and we have to.

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<v Speaker 1>Bring it back. And that's why date may Awlita first wife,

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<v Speaker 1>because a wilitas know what it's about. Some of us

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<v Speaker 1>like I am Annawalita, I am an Awelita. I have

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<v Speaker 1>two grandsons, and I am so happy that they're boys

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<v Speaker 1>because I can teach them.

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<v Speaker 2>This is the way you do it, my boys, this

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<v Speaker 2>is the way you treat a woman. As Conquistas tell

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<v Speaker 2>us a little bit about like the you know, just

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<v Speaker 2>the concept of date Malita.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely. For those of you who will be joining us

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<v Speaker 1>brand new on season two, I'm goa dated oh, thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>Date may Awilita first. Now you're not dating me, no, no, no,

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<v Speaker 1>though I would love the possibilities. But what it is

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<v Speaker 1>is we have one main data and three possible contestants

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<v Speaker 1>and the three of them have to go through games

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<v Speaker 1>and questions with a Wilita and my beautiful co host,

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<v Speaker 1>Vihico Ortiz, and we ask all these questions and they

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<v Speaker 1>have to go through me, meaning I have to like them,

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<v Speaker 1>I have to accept what they're saying. I have to

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<v Speaker 1>really really get to the bottom of it all because

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<v Speaker 1>you know, as a Wlita as we know it all.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, oh my god, I love that.

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<v Speaker 1>And at the very end, the main data ends with

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<v Speaker 1>one of the contestants.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my goodness. Okay, So that's why I wanted to know.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, okay, date my Wilita first, because you

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<v Speaker 2>think like you said, and I would, and it brings warmth,

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<v Speaker 2>it brings just something to your heart. And when you

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<v Speaker 2>say that right now, it made me. It made me like,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, wow, Unfortunately I don't have that right now,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, but it's.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you day. You can call me anytime or not.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what, I've been reading a lot lately, you

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<v Speaker 1>know how on social media. They put these little sayings

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<v Speaker 1>and they put older people nowadays, which they tell everyone.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, Oh, I don't care what people say anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>I just want to love everybody. I'm going to be

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<v Speaker 1>as open as I can. But there's one thing that

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<v Speaker 1>keeps being repeated, and that is the fact that don't

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<v Speaker 1>come to me the day that I die and tell

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<v Speaker 1>me how much you loved me. Tell me now while

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<v Speaker 1>I'm still alive. You know, when I and all these

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<v Speaker 1>five marriages that we have mentioned, was I in love

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<v Speaker 1>every time? I know it's a question because when people

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<v Speaker 1>find out that I've been married five times, the first

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<v Speaker 1>thing that comes to their faces is laughter, and I go,

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<v Speaker 1>that's pretty cool, that it's pretty cool that my life

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<v Speaker 1>can make you smile. But it wasn't that easy for me,

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<v Speaker 1>because every time I was in love, every time I

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<v Speaker 1>wanted it to be the last.

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<v Speaker 3>One gave it.

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<v Speaker 1>Every time I wanted to be loved like never before. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and every time I failed. Every time we failed, we

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<v Speaker 1>failed to communicate, we failed to share, we failed to

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<v Speaker 1>remember that we can get to this sixty seven, approaching

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<v Speaker 1>your seventies really quick. And if you don't hold on

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<v Speaker 1>to that love you're going to be alone, and I

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<v Speaker 1>am alone. I am alone every single day of my life.

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<v Speaker 1>Because the family has moved on. Many of my love

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<v Speaker 1>to ones have passed away. My child and my grandkids

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<v Speaker 1>are in another state. So who do I love? I

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<v Speaker 1>love Cheeky when she welcomes me into her studio. I

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<v Speaker 1>love Leo when he takes me to lunch. I love

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<v Speaker 1>everyone that I meet along the way because that's what

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<v Speaker 1>my heart tells me to do.

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<v Speaker 2>You're so beautiful. I can't hold on, Guys, I'm sorry.

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<v Speaker 1>I know it's love is very spiritual, that is very

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<v Speaker 1>much a conscious choice. Yes, and we have to be kind.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a choice. Yeah. And when you say that, the

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<v Speaker 2>world people have even sometimes stop loving. I feel like

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<v Speaker 2>where is I go to different states and obviously we

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<v Speaker 2>live here in California, but sometimes I feel like it's

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<v Speaker 2>just the hustle and bustle, and it's you go to

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<v Speaker 2>another state and they open the door and they say

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<v Speaker 2>good morning. I'm like, this is so like, that's that's loving,

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<v Speaker 2>that's thank you, thank you for opening There other times

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<v Speaker 2>when I open the door for someone and they won't

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<v Speaker 2>even say thank you, and I'm just like, okay, cool,

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<v Speaker 2>you're welcome.

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<v Speaker 4>You know.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like it's like little things like that that show love,

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<v Speaker 2>that show compassion, that show and I know I feel like, no,

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<v Speaker 2>we have to and I'm glad we're having this conversation.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm glad you guys have date Maiwalita first because

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<v Speaker 2>we have to have this conversation so people don't forget

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<v Speaker 2>the importance of love and how we need to be

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<v Speaker 2>love based. And I always tell myself because for a

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<v Speaker 2>long time I was afraid of loving. I was afraid

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<v Speaker 2>of falling in love. So I had to And this

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<v Speaker 2>is a mantra of mine or an affirmation every morning

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<v Speaker 2>where I tell myself it is safe for me to

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<v Speaker 2>love and to be loved every day because I have

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<v Speaker 2>gotten hurt by people, even by my own parents, even

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<v Speaker 2>by just it just happens, you know what I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>And you feel I had for a long time the

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<v Speaker 2>fear of abandonment and I had to heal that and

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<v Speaker 2>it was because I love so hard. But because I

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<v Speaker 2>love so hard, I also hurt very hard. Because it's

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<v Speaker 2>like I told it, told them, I'm giving you everything.

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<v Speaker 2>And this is how come on with padas in a way,

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<v Speaker 2>if you don't mind me asking how when was the

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<v Speaker 2>first time? How old were you when you when you

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<v Speaker 2>first got married?

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<v Speaker 1>My very first time, I got married at nineteen. I

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<v Speaker 1>got pregnant at eighteen. I always said I came from

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<v Speaker 1>a very abusive upbringing when it comes to my mother.

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<v Speaker 1>But there was one word that I wanted to mention

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<v Speaker 1>to you when you were just saying all of this.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a matter and I've said it before, loving is

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<v Speaker 1>a matter of forgiving. We have to forgive ourselves. We

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<v Speaker 1>have to forgive our parents. Like my mom might have

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<v Speaker 1>done a lot of no nos, but she was so young.

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<v Speaker 1>She was seventeen when she had me, and she didn't

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<v Speaker 1>know any better.

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<v Speaker 3>It came from an abusive family all on her own.

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<v Speaker 1>She was the last child of nine and by that

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<v Speaker 1>time my grandfather, who was the chief of police, was

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<v Speaker 1>just so radical in his ways, and my grandmother, who

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<v Speaker 1>was the kindest, sweetest, but there was abuse there too.

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<v Speaker 1>It came from generations. Is that cultural baggage that we

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<v Speaker 1>just can't get rid of? But yes we can, and

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<v Speaker 1>yes we should because it's not taking us anywhere as Latinos.

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<v Speaker 1>We need to get rid of all of that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yep, we gotta stop in it, but I agree. I

0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:41.160
<v Speaker 2>agreed breaking generational curses guys.

0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:46.360
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, and we have to love. It's it's it's crazy

0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:51.840
<v Speaker 1>to think how far we have come in life and society,

0:12:52.640 --> 0:12:57.079
<v Speaker 1>but really, as Latinos, we haven't. Yeah, we have forgotten

0:12:57.080 --> 0:12:59.640
<v Speaker 1>that we were. We have been loved since we were.

0:13:00.840 --> 0:13:05.559
<v Speaker 1>We have so much to offer, so much. And I

0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:09.280
<v Speaker 1>have forgiven my mother, I have forgiven my past, I

0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:12.720
<v Speaker 1>have I have even forgiven husband number four, who died

0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:17.880
<v Speaker 1>on my birthday. Oh I know you loved me. It

0:13:17.960 --> 0:13:23.520
<v Speaker 1>was your last way of telling me. Okay, But yeah,

0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:26.200
<v Speaker 1>you have to forgive and you have to forgiving.

0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:29.080
<v Speaker 2>Is it gives you the wings to fly to sore?

0:13:29.280 --> 0:13:31.760
<v Speaker 2>I have a whole book on it because I had

0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:34.679
<v Speaker 2>to learn to forgive and really forgive, not just say it,

0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:37.920
<v Speaker 2>you know what it's like, really meaning it and really

0:13:37.960 --> 0:13:41.120
<v Speaker 2>just letting go of that baggage and resentment makes you sick.

0:13:41.160 --> 0:13:42.880
<v Speaker 2>It's like, it's not it's not healthy for you, it's

0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:45.240
<v Speaker 2>not healthy for the other person. So it's like it's

0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:47.400
<v Speaker 2>a gift. Forgiveness is a gift to ourselves, which is

0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:50.000
<v Speaker 2>also a part of loving. And do you still believe

0:13:50.000 --> 0:13:52.280
<v Speaker 2>in love? Do you feel like if you know, is

0:13:52.320 --> 0:13:54.439
<v Speaker 2>there another husband out there for you? I mean I

0:13:54.720 --> 0:13:55.000
<v Speaker 2>feel that.

0:13:55.160 --> 0:14:01.160
<v Speaker 1>I mean I am always looking for non say, it's

0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:08.200
<v Speaker 1>a great number let me tell you. Okay, so number one,

0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:10.680
<v Speaker 1>since you come from an abusive home, all you want

0:14:10.760 --> 0:14:14.040
<v Speaker 1>to do is run away from it. And I think

0:14:14.080 --> 0:14:16.560
<v Speaker 1>that the first time that I married, that's exactly what

0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:20.360
<v Speaker 1>I was looking for. However, I was blessed with a

0:14:20.480 --> 0:14:28.520
<v Speaker 1>child and having my beautiful Dela Gabriella. Ah, what a gift,

0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:34.120
<v Speaker 1>What a gift having her? Not only was it a

0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:36.280
<v Speaker 1>gift from her, but it's something that I don't talk

0:14:36.400 --> 0:14:40.400
<v Speaker 1>much or I haven't mentioned much on season one of

0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:45.000
<v Speaker 1>Dey Maya Wilita, But I am going to bring him

0:14:45.080 --> 0:14:51.040
<v Speaker 1>into the stage light, and that is God, because walking

0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:55.080
<v Speaker 1>in faith and living in that faith is the hardest

0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:58.640
<v Speaker 1>thing to do, especially when you are hurt, when you're

0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:01.600
<v Speaker 1>so young, when you don't know, especially when the years

0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:04.800
<v Speaker 1>go by. So when I had Delba, a couple of

0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:08.480
<v Speaker 1>years later, I had my first bout with cancer and

0:15:08.560 --> 0:15:13.600
<v Speaker 1>at that point I couldn't have any more children. So

0:15:13.760 --> 0:15:18.080
<v Speaker 1>that was my most beautiful gift ever, was to have her.

0:15:20.160 --> 0:15:22.800
<v Speaker 1>Of course, husband number one left me because he wanted

0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:23.680
<v Speaker 1>more kids.

0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:27.720
<v Speaker 2>Oh so that okay, Well, you know what, he came

0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:31.560
<v Speaker 2>and served his purpose to give you your baby girl. Yeah,

0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:33.920
<v Speaker 2>because people ask me that all the time. This was

0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:36.240
<v Speaker 2>very hard for me to get married. First I've been

0:15:36.240 --> 0:15:39.160
<v Speaker 2>married and divorced, and then when we had we got

0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:41.120
<v Speaker 2>separated out to versall. It was so difficult. I was

0:15:41.160 --> 0:15:43.000
<v Speaker 2>just because I wanted to make it work. I was

0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:47.040
<v Speaker 2>I had I grew up in a household where you know,

0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:50.240
<v Speaker 2>marriage didn't work, and that's you know, I don't judge

0:15:50.240 --> 0:15:52.520
<v Speaker 2>my mother, and if anything, I've learned so much from it.

0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:54.080
<v Speaker 2>But I really I was like, yo, I want to

0:15:54.080 --> 0:15:55.760
<v Speaker 2>make it work, and I'm gonna try, and I'm gonna

0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:58.359
<v Speaker 2>try and I let go or should I say I

0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:01.480
<v Speaker 2>ignored a lot of red flags. But it broke my

0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:04.400
<v Speaker 2>heart so bad to get divorced because I wanted it

0:16:04.440 --> 0:16:06.640
<v Speaker 2>to work, and I was like, I don't want to

0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:11.040
<v Speaker 2>fall in the same steps. But it's like, in a

0:16:11.080 --> 0:16:13.320
<v Speaker 2>way back then, now I learned my lesson, but I

0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:16.840
<v Speaker 2>was in a way being judgmental and thinking not knowing

0:16:16.880 --> 0:16:19.920
<v Speaker 2>how difficult really marriage is and thinking, oh, it's easy,

0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:23.480
<v Speaker 2>we can make this work, and in a way not

0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:28.400
<v Speaker 2>blaming my mom because she had reasons to leave susparekas

0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:31.280
<v Speaker 2>you know her marriages, but I guess I just wanted

0:16:31.280 --> 0:16:33.760
<v Speaker 2>to ask. I was like, I want to make this work,

0:16:34.120 --> 0:16:36.280
<v Speaker 2>but it broke my heart. But now I'm like, you

0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:38.760
<v Speaker 2>know what I believe in marriage. I want to get married.

0:16:38.800 --> 0:16:41.320
<v Speaker 2>If I get married, I've said this before, I think

0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:44.520
<v Speaker 2>in interviews where I'm like, you know what, I'll be

0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:46.880
<v Speaker 2>like jayl you know with that she finds a man

0:16:47.000 --> 0:16:49.880
<v Speaker 2>and she gets married. Hey, whatever, love is love, and

0:16:50.040 --> 0:16:51.680
<v Speaker 2>you get married as many times as you want. So

0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:54.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm with you on that. You know, we're gonna pray

0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:57.000
<v Speaker 2>for a good number six for you, Thank you very much.

0:16:57.120 --> 0:17:02.440
<v Speaker 1>The only thing that I satrifice throughout all these marriages

0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:07.280
<v Speaker 1>was my relationship with my child. That was a love

0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:13.840
<v Speaker 1>that I misunderstood for a very long time. You never

0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:19.200
<v Speaker 1>stop having that conflict, not only with yourself but with

0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:22.359
<v Speaker 1>your child. I mean, had I had a boy, it

0:17:22.440 --> 0:17:26.959
<v Speaker 1>might have been different. But I have a daughter. And

0:17:27.320 --> 0:17:31.040
<v Speaker 1>of course we don't want our same choices and mistakes

0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:35.080
<v Speaker 1>to be passed on or the way that they see

0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:38.400
<v Speaker 1>us and they judge us, especially as you get older

0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:44.399
<v Speaker 1>and older and your child leaves you behind. So we

0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:48.439
<v Speaker 1>have to learn to not only forgive ourselves, but to

0:17:48.640 --> 0:17:52.560
<v Speaker 1>love ourselves more than we love that guy or that

0:17:52.680 --> 0:17:56.159
<v Speaker 1>idea of marriage. I would love to have ass my

0:17:56.280 --> 0:17:59.000
<v Speaker 1>number six. Let me tell you, I would love to

0:17:59.080 --> 0:18:03.080
<v Speaker 1>have a wonder man in my life because I thought

0:18:03.119 --> 0:18:06.760
<v Speaker 1>I loved number one. No, he gave me a beautiful gift.

0:18:07.160 --> 0:18:10.959
<v Speaker 1>I thought I loved number two. He was mean and abusive.

0:18:11.560 --> 0:18:15.520
<v Speaker 1>I thought I loved number three. I was a boring situation.

0:18:16.280 --> 0:18:19.560
<v Speaker 1>I thought I loved number four. Again he was mean

0:18:19.600 --> 0:18:23.320
<v Speaker 1>and demeaning. And I thought I loved number five, which

0:18:23.400 --> 0:18:26.840
<v Speaker 1>to this day I still do. But he was twenty

0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:33.439
<v Speaker 1>years younger. He was my spirit and for that reason

0:18:33.600 --> 0:18:36.760
<v Speaker 1>I still love him. But that a man has come

0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:39.159
<v Speaker 1>into my life and said I'm going to treat you

0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:41.720
<v Speaker 1>like the queen that you are, or I'm going to

0:18:41.840 --> 0:18:44.879
<v Speaker 1>give you all my love. No, that hasn't happened. So

0:18:45.000 --> 0:18:47.280
<v Speaker 1>if you are out there and you will like to

0:18:47.320 --> 0:18:48.280
<v Speaker 1>be number.

0:18:47.960 --> 0:18:51.840
<v Speaker 2>Six, make sure you're a good man. Though, no, we don't.

0:18:51.880 --> 0:18:52.119
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:18:52.240 --> 0:18:53.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you're still breathing.

0:18:53.760 --> 0:18:56.800
<v Speaker 2>You're still breathing, Oh my goodness. But with from every

0:18:56.800 --> 0:18:58.960
<v Speaker 2>person that you've you've been with and been married to,

0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:02.000
<v Speaker 2>you learn something. You grew you. And that's what I

0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:05.640
<v Speaker 2>feel like. I'm like, Okay, we learn where they're all teachers,

0:19:05.680 --> 0:19:08.240
<v Speaker 2>they're masters, and it's up to us what lesson we

0:19:08.320 --> 0:19:11.680
<v Speaker 2>learn to make ourselves better for the next person or

0:19:11.840 --> 0:19:14.119
<v Speaker 2>for ourselves even you know, but you did. That's something

0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:16.840
<v Speaker 2>that I speak about a lot on the podcast is

0:19:16.880 --> 0:19:19.560
<v Speaker 2>the importance of loving yourself. And you can only love

0:19:19.600 --> 0:19:22.040
<v Speaker 2>people as much as you love and respect yourself. And

0:19:22.080 --> 0:19:24.679
<v Speaker 2>you need to give yourself your place. And my mom

0:19:24.720 --> 0:19:27.480
<v Speaker 2>would always say, you know, you have your main meal,

0:19:27.840 --> 0:19:31.760
<v Speaker 2>your main course, and then your partner is the dessert.

0:19:31.840 --> 0:19:34.440
<v Speaker 2>They're there to compliment your life. They shouldn't be your

0:19:34.480 --> 0:19:37.560
<v Speaker 2>whole life. It's you respect them, they respect you, and

0:19:37.600 --> 0:19:39.880
<v Speaker 2>it's they're your dessert. And I'll never forget out.

0:19:40.000 --> 0:19:45.119
<v Speaker 1>And that is one thing that because we don't learn,

0:19:46.000 --> 0:19:49.400
<v Speaker 1>because we come from such a culture full of baggage

0:19:49.440 --> 0:19:54.320
<v Speaker 1>when it comes to the love department, we don't learn

0:19:55.560 --> 0:19:59.639
<v Speaker 1>to be kind or to give it our best shot,

0:20:00.560 --> 0:20:04.439
<v Speaker 1>or to really open up our hearts, or to accept

0:20:04.480 --> 0:20:07.280
<v Speaker 1>them for who they are. We always want to try

0:20:07.320 --> 0:20:12.159
<v Speaker 1>and change everyone around us. Yeah, and that is so silly,

0:20:12.280 --> 0:20:18.040
<v Speaker 1>you know. We need to just love everyone. Yeah, no

0:20:18.040 --> 0:20:21.280
<v Speaker 1>matter how we love them, accept them for who they are.

0:20:21.560 --> 0:20:24.280
<v Speaker 1>I repeat this a million times in my life. People

0:20:24.320 --> 0:20:26.600
<v Speaker 1>don't change. We are who we are.

0:20:26.800 --> 0:20:27.720
<v Speaker 2>You can't change them.

0:20:27.920 --> 0:20:31.000
<v Speaker 1>No, and we can't change ourselves either. We are already

0:20:31.040 --> 0:20:34.159
<v Speaker 1>said in those ways. But we can truly compromise. Yeah,

0:20:34.320 --> 0:20:37.160
<v Speaker 1>we can compromise. We can accept them for who they are,

0:20:37.440 --> 0:20:41.840
<v Speaker 1>and maybe in the communication process of creating that new relationship,

0:20:42.240 --> 0:20:45.920
<v Speaker 1>then you know have your best friend. And that's what

0:20:46.080 --> 0:20:47.760
<v Speaker 1>I miss about husband number five.

0:20:48.320 --> 0:20:49.600
<v Speaker 3>He was my best friend.

0:20:49.640 --> 0:20:51.560
<v Speaker 2>He was like your soul, like your soul mad he

0:20:51.640 --> 0:20:55.040
<v Speaker 2>totally was he totally. Was it a mutual like separation

0:20:55.200 --> 0:20:55.600
<v Speaker 2>is nice?

0:20:55.720 --> 0:20:56.919
<v Speaker 1>No, that was all me.

0:20:57.320 --> 0:20:59.200
<v Speaker 2>Okay, it was all me, And.

0:20:59.119 --> 0:21:03.280
<v Speaker 1>That is what I'm saying about not learning from our

0:21:03.320 --> 0:21:06.400
<v Speaker 1>own I've been alone now for fourteen years.

0:21:06.840 --> 0:21:08.040
<v Speaker 2>Okay, that was my next question.

0:21:08.040 --> 0:21:10.840
<v Speaker 1>Okayeen fourteen years, and those years I've had a lot

0:21:10.880 --> 0:21:16.320
<v Speaker 1>of time to get to know myself. But the reason

0:21:16.400 --> 0:21:21.240
<v Speaker 1>that I pushed him away One, he was younger. Two,

0:21:21.280 --> 0:21:24.680
<v Speaker 1>I thought he would be a great father. I thought

0:21:24.720 --> 0:21:27.840
<v Speaker 1>he needed to find a younger woman. And I just

0:21:27.920 --> 0:21:30.879
<v Speaker 1>pushed him completely away from my life. And is the

0:21:30.920 --> 0:21:32.080
<v Speaker 1>worst mistake.

0:21:31.840 --> 0:21:33.320
<v Speaker 3>I have ever made.

0:21:33.480 --> 0:21:35.120
<v Speaker 2>I think you're speaking to my soul right now.

0:21:35.160 --> 0:21:35.639
<v Speaker 3>Because my.

0:21:37.200 --> 0:21:40.040
<v Speaker 2>Partner, my fiance, is seven years younger, and I've been

0:21:40.080 --> 0:21:42.240
<v Speaker 2>battling with this and this is something I haven't spoken

0:21:42.800 --> 0:21:46.360
<v Speaker 2>to anyone really out loud because he's seven years younger,

0:21:46.600 --> 0:21:48.840
<v Speaker 2>and I wasn't sure for a long time if I

0:21:48.880 --> 0:21:50.240
<v Speaker 2>want to have kids or not, if I can even

0:21:50.320 --> 0:21:53.639
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, you know. And I was kind of

0:21:53.640 --> 0:21:55.440
<v Speaker 2>in a way pushing him away. I'm like, you know what,

0:21:55.760 --> 0:21:58.359
<v Speaker 2>maybe you need a younger girl and someone that hasn't

0:21:58.359 --> 0:22:00.400
<v Speaker 2>been married and hasn't been through all this stuff. I'm

0:22:00.400 --> 0:22:02.840
<v Speaker 2>a workaholic, you know. Because you say, hey, I said

0:22:02.920 --> 0:22:06.320
<v Speaker 2>that before that, I felt like, but he's so good

0:22:06.359 --> 0:22:08.680
<v Speaker 2>to me, Matra Tauben and he just says that I'm

0:22:08.720 --> 0:22:10.359
<v Speaker 2>the best thing that's ever happened. And he treats me.

0:22:10.359 --> 0:22:11.919
<v Speaker 2>It's not just he just says it. He treats me

0:22:12.040 --> 0:22:15.119
<v Speaker 2>very well. And I feel like, right now you're speaking

0:22:15.160 --> 0:22:16.920
<v Speaker 2>to me, It's like, so, why are.

0:22:16.800 --> 0:22:21.520
<v Speaker 3>You still it all? Yeah, because that's exactly what we do.

0:22:21.920 --> 0:22:24.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I feel like it's more in a way of like,

0:22:26.880 --> 0:22:28.119
<v Speaker 2>you know, self destructive.

0:22:28.119 --> 0:22:31.400
<v Speaker 1>I don't know it totally is, but in that process

0:22:31.440 --> 0:22:34.720
<v Speaker 1>of talking about how you have forgiven yourself? How have

0:22:34.760 --> 0:22:37.520
<v Speaker 1>you really mm hmm or what are you waiting for?

0:22:37.760 --> 0:22:39.560
<v Speaker 1>Who are you waiting to give you?

0:22:40.480 --> 0:22:40.800
<v Speaker 2>Hello?

0:22:41.880 --> 0:22:47.600
<v Speaker 1>Knock knock, chicky or knock knock on your heart? Yes,

0:22:48.000 --> 0:22:51.879
<v Speaker 1>seven years younger. So what he can bring some bright

0:22:52.080 --> 0:22:55.719
<v Speaker 1>light and some enthusiasm and some something new to your

0:22:55.760 --> 0:22:58.840
<v Speaker 1>relationship that you don't know anything about. And you think

0:22:58.880 --> 0:23:01.119
<v Speaker 1>you can let go of that? Do you know what

0:23:01.200 --> 0:23:04.360
<v Speaker 1>a gift that is? Don't ever let go of that

0:23:05.160 --> 0:23:08.080
<v Speaker 1>when you just said that he treats you, well, that's

0:23:08.119 --> 0:23:15.440
<v Speaker 1>all you need is that love, that constant care and companionship,

0:23:16.040 --> 0:23:22.960
<v Speaker 1>that youthfulness, that rightness, that light, enjoy it and everywhere

0:23:22.960 --> 0:23:26.000
<v Speaker 1>that comes to your mind where you go, oh no,

0:23:26.160 --> 0:23:29.800
<v Speaker 1>you know, or my mom did this, or my uncle

0:23:29.920 --> 0:23:33.320
<v Speaker 1>or Gino Leskina, whoever it is. We don't care about that.

0:23:33.440 --> 0:23:35.960
<v Speaker 1>We care what is happening and what Chiky is feeling

0:23:36.240 --> 0:23:40.240
<v Speaker 1>right now from this moment on. And you love him

0:23:40.440 --> 0:23:43.920
<v Speaker 1>for who he is, and you give him those children

0:23:44.280 --> 0:23:48.560
<v Speaker 1>if you want them, that is your choice. But I

0:23:48.640 --> 0:23:51.480
<v Speaker 1>tell you, I'm just very happy I have one little

0:23:52.280 --> 0:23:56.359
<v Speaker 1>girl that can stay in this world. I know that

0:23:56.680 --> 0:24:01.520
<v Speaker 1>the new generations are kind of staying away from being parents,

0:24:02.440 --> 0:24:06.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, and that's how our world is changing.

0:24:06.240 --> 0:24:09.680
<v Speaker 2>Yes, yeah, I mean my OBGYN told me the other day,

0:24:09.760 --> 0:24:12.359
<v Speaker 2>she said, you know, something that stuck to me. I

0:24:12.359 --> 0:24:14.320
<v Speaker 2>think for a long time I was afraid of having

0:24:15.000 --> 0:24:21.120
<v Speaker 2>a baby because of the beautiful and also I don't

0:24:21.119 --> 0:24:22.520
<v Speaker 2>know what the word is, but with my mom and

0:24:22.560 --> 0:24:24.640
<v Speaker 2>we were so close in age, we were like sisters.

0:24:24.680 --> 0:24:27.560
<v Speaker 2>We had a very very difficult relationship but a very

0:24:27.560 --> 0:24:29.800
<v Speaker 2>beautiful one at the same time. And I always thought, like,

0:24:29.840 --> 0:24:32.440
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, if you know, I've already raised my siblings,

0:24:32.480 --> 0:24:33.920
<v Speaker 2>like I want to kind of do my own thing.

0:24:34.000 --> 0:24:37.040
<v Speaker 2>And I made up all these excuses, you know, And

0:24:37.800 --> 0:24:39.960
<v Speaker 2>it was out of fear I think of just I

0:24:39.960 --> 0:24:42.119
<v Speaker 2>don't know, maybe repeating the same pattern. But I'm like,

0:24:42.119 --> 0:24:44.080
<v Speaker 2>it's up to me. Maybe that's what I have to do,

0:24:44.160 --> 0:24:46.720
<v Speaker 2>is have a child to heal that relationship, you know.

0:24:48.440 --> 0:24:51.119
<v Speaker 1>But she told me once, you want to have a

0:24:51.200 --> 0:24:54.080
<v Speaker 1>child to heal which relationship.

0:24:53.720 --> 0:24:55.840
<v Speaker 2>With my mom? Because I thought, if I have a girl,

0:24:55.880 --> 0:24:57.639
<v Speaker 2>if I because I always wanted a boy for the

0:24:57.640 --> 0:25:00.480
<v Speaker 2>same reason. Still now you feel that way, No, now

0:25:00.560 --> 0:25:00.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't.

0:25:01.000 --> 0:25:01.119
<v Speaker 1>Now.

0:25:01.359 --> 0:25:03.920
<v Speaker 2>Now I'm like, okay, look at Rioskira, whatever God wants.

0:25:04.000 --> 0:25:05.919
<v Speaker 2>If I do have a girl, then maybe through that

0:25:06.040 --> 0:25:08.760
<v Speaker 2>relationship with my daughter, I can heal my relationship with

0:25:08.800 --> 0:25:10.919
<v Speaker 2>my mom. And if it's a boy, then you know,

0:25:11.119 --> 0:25:12.359
<v Speaker 2>now it was like I want a boy. I want

0:25:12.359 --> 0:25:13.960
<v Speaker 2>a boy. If not, I don't want a kiss. It

0:25:14.040 --> 0:25:16.720
<v Speaker 2>was kind of like that because of the fear of

0:25:16.760 --> 0:25:20.119
<v Speaker 2>the relationship that I had, you know, even til the

0:25:20.200 --> 0:25:22.200
<v Speaker 2>end of my mom's days, you know. And now it's

0:25:22.240 --> 0:25:25.000
<v Speaker 2>like it's crazy because we were like, we're so close,

0:25:25.600 --> 0:25:27.440
<v Speaker 2>and people come and they see that you're so close

0:25:27.440 --> 0:25:29.120
<v Speaker 2>to your mom and you have such an important place

0:25:29.119 --> 0:25:31.320
<v Speaker 2>in her life that Kiki and Kita they want to

0:25:31.359 --> 0:25:33.600
<v Speaker 2>cause issues, you know, and make up lies and do

0:25:33.640 --> 0:25:36.240
<v Speaker 2>all these things, and unfortunately things stay that way. The

0:25:36.240 --> 0:25:37.840
<v Speaker 2>good thing is I've gone through therapy and I do

0:25:37.880 --> 0:25:40.240
<v Speaker 2>therapy and I do self work every single day, so

0:25:40.640 --> 0:25:42.159
<v Speaker 2>I don't carry that with me anymore. I'm like, you

0:25:42.160 --> 0:25:44.000
<v Speaker 2>know what, my mom and I are good, So I've

0:25:44.040 --> 0:25:47.080
<v Speaker 2>healed that. Now. I feel like if he's the only person,

0:25:47.240 --> 0:25:49.439
<v Speaker 2>my partner is the only one that has made me think, okay,

0:25:49.800 --> 0:25:51.880
<v Speaker 2>he'd be a great father if he wants a kid

0:25:52.040 --> 0:25:55.560
<v Speaker 2>and God allows it, I guess it's whatever is meant

0:25:55.560 --> 0:25:57.480
<v Speaker 2>to happen. I'm more open to it for sure. Now

0:25:57.880 --> 0:26:01.040
<v Speaker 2>now I'm like, you know, here here, here are my ovaries.

0:26:01.160 --> 0:26:05.480
<v Speaker 2>Take them. But but yeah, I mean, also, my OBG.

0:26:05.600 --> 0:26:06.760
<v Speaker 2>I was some me right now that you were telling

0:26:06.760 --> 0:26:08.520
<v Speaker 2>about your daughter. She told me. She says, you know what,

0:26:08.520 --> 0:26:10.439
<v Speaker 2>You're never going to regret having a child, but you

0:26:10.480 --> 0:26:12.840
<v Speaker 2>will regret not having one. Yes, And I said, oh,

0:26:13.480 --> 0:26:14.960
<v Speaker 2>well she told me. I was like, oh, okay, that

0:26:15.040 --> 0:26:17.400
<v Speaker 2>changes things a little bit. I'm like, okay, so now

0:26:17.440 --> 0:26:19.080
<v Speaker 2>you're like, you know, you're you're happy you had one,

0:26:19.119 --> 0:26:22.679
<v Speaker 2>and you're she's in the world and she's your legacy.

0:26:22.800 --> 0:26:25.040
<v Speaker 2>So I don't know, you know, I know this has

0:26:25.040 --> 0:26:28.919
<v Speaker 2>been kind of like a heavy conversations. It's been a

0:26:28.960 --> 0:26:30.240
<v Speaker 2>heavy beautiful relationship's going to.

0:26:30.240 --> 0:26:31.600
<v Speaker 1>Gain some way at the end of the show.

0:26:33.720 --> 0:26:36.280
<v Speaker 2>But I'm telling you, guys, I love I love her personality. Okay,

0:26:36.359 --> 0:26:38.560
<v Speaker 2>So would you mind if we ask you, if we

0:26:38.680 --> 0:26:40.040
<v Speaker 2>if I ask you a few questions?

0:26:40.160 --> 0:26:40.680
<v Speaker 1>Oh please?

0:26:40.720 --> 0:26:42.320
<v Speaker 2>I don know I've asked you quite a bit, but

0:26:44.000 --> 0:26:47.879
<v Speaker 2>I mean there there's some fun ones, you know, But okay,

0:26:47.920 --> 0:26:50.160
<v Speaker 2>first of all, this is just one of my personal questions.

0:26:50.320 --> 0:26:53.800
<v Speaker 2>What what's your sign? What's your your signal?

0:26:54.040 --> 0:26:58.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm a p with what was that word? I think

0:26:58.880 --> 0:27:02.959
<v Speaker 1>rising my right seeing his pisces. Okay, a full on pieces?

0:27:03.000 --> 0:27:05.879
<v Speaker 2>You're a full on Oh wow, you're a full of pieces. Nice. Okay,

0:27:06.119 --> 0:27:07.600
<v Speaker 2>so we have a lot in common. I'm in cancer

0:27:08.080 --> 0:27:09.320
<v Speaker 2>and my mom was a cancer Know.

0:27:09.280 --> 0:27:12.200
<v Speaker 1>Much about since Yeah, I'll tell you later.

0:27:12.640 --> 0:27:16.240
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So since it's Valentine's Day week, let's start with this. Okay,

0:27:16.400 --> 0:27:19.160
<v Speaker 2>what are your thoughts on the holiday? Do you celebrate it?

0:27:19.200 --> 0:27:21.399
<v Speaker 2>Is it corner to you? Are you the type that, like,

0:27:21.720 --> 0:27:24.520
<v Speaker 2>you know, you like to spend time by yourself, you

0:27:24.520 --> 0:27:25.960
<v Speaker 2>go out with your Amiga's Like, what is it that

0:27:26.000 --> 0:27:27.200
<v Speaker 2>you like doing for Valentine's Day?

0:27:27.680 --> 0:27:30.679
<v Speaker 1>Again, we have to go into the topic of how

0:27:30.720 --> 0:27:34.879
<v Speaker 1>the years go by and at our different ages. Like

0:27:35.400 --> 0:27:38.680
<v Speaker 1>if there is people who are in their twenties or thirties,

0:27:39.400 --> 0:27:43.000
<v Speaker 1>let's talk about when I was at that age. Oh yes,

0:27:43.040 --> 0:27:47.160
<v Speaker 1>I would celebrate everything. Yeah, as the years have gone by,

0:27:48.119 --> 0:27:50.240
<v Speaker 1>what will I do in a couple of days in

0:27:50.359 --> 0:27:54.440
<v Speaker 1>Valentine's Day? I will probably call those that I love

0:27:54.520 --> 0:27:59.080
<v Speaker 1>the most. There will probably be on one hand the

0:27:59.160 --> 0:28:03.760
<v Speaker 1>number of people I will call because most people, like

0:28:03.840 --> 0:28:08.760
<v Speaker 1>I mentioned before, are too busy. People have very busy lives,

0:28:08.880 --> 0:28:12.160
<v Speaker 1>and in the process of their busy lives, they don't

0:28:12.200 --> 0:28:15.560
<v Speaker 1>have time for anyone else. And as I was growing

0:28:15.640 --> 0:28:19.920
<v Speaker 1>up in my thirties, my forties, my fifties, even until

0:28:19.960 --> 0:28:22.639
<v Speaker 1>my fifties before I sold my house a couple of

0:28:22.720 --> 0:28:26.280
<v Speaker 1>years ago and finally, you know, got rid of all

0:28:26.280 --> 0:28:29.719
<v Speaker 1>those memories from the past, big parties, lots of people,

0:28:30.040 --> 0:28:32.520
<v Speaker 1>and then it's just you living in a little cubicle

0:28:33.000 --> 0:28:35.840
<v Speaker 1>because you have gotten older and everybody has moved on.

0:28:36.440 --> 0:28:39.240
<v Speaker 1>Up until then, I would celebrate all the time. I

0:28:39.280 --> 0:28:42.720
<v Speaker 1>would dress for the occasion. I will wear flowers, I

0:28:42.760 --> 0:28:46.320
<v Speaker 1>will buy flowers, I will send cards. I would call,

0:28:46.400 --> 0:28:50.200
<v Speaker 1>I would love, I would hug, I would kiss. Now,

0:28:51.000 --> 0:28:55.400
<v Speaker 1>as you get older, nobody calls you. You don't make

0:28:55.440 --> 0:28:58.640
<v Speaker 1>that many more phone calls. The cards are not as

0:28:58.680 --> 0:29:02.120
<v Speaker 1>many that you buy. You pass by the aisles where

0:29:02.120 --> 0:29:04.920
<v Speaker 1>the chocolates and the hearts are, and you don't have

0:29:05.080 --> 0:29:15.720
<v Speaker 1>anyone to buy them for anymore. Well, when I say

0:29:16.480 --> 0:29:21.400
<v Speaker 1>love everyone around you, do it until the day they die.

0:29:22.440 --> 0:29:26.120
<v Speaker 1>Don't let them be all by themselves. Love your mothers,

0:29:26.240 --> 0:29:28.040
<v Speaker 1>your aunts, your grandmothers.

0:29:28.640 --> 0:29:33.920
<v Speaker 2>Show them there, show them, and you and everyone might agree,

0:29:34.200 --> 0:29:36.520
<v Speaker 2>might agree with me right now by looking at me.

0:29:37.840 --> 0:29:43.240
<v Speaker 1>But wait, just wait until those twenty years go by,

0:29:43.320 --> 0:29:46.480
<v Speaker 1>and you'll be sitting in a chair and you'll be going, oh,

0:29:46.520 --> 0:29:51.280
<v Speaker 1>my goodness. I remember talking to Alita, and this is

0:29:51.320 --> 0:29:54.920
<v Speaker 1>what she was talking about. We don't do it because

0:29:54.920 --> 0:29:59.400
<v Speaker 1>we're mean people. We don't do it because you know,

0:29:59.480 --> 0:30:02.080
<v Speaker 1>we've been taught, Hey, you have to be like this

0:30:02.240 --> 0:30:06.680
<v Speaker 1>when you get to this age. No, we are always

0:30:07.000 --> 0:30:09.760
<v Speaker 1>we always keep that child in us. There's a commercial

0:30:09.800 --> 0:30:15.040
<v Speaker 1>that just came out. I'm not gonna say the name

0:30:15.080 --> 0:30:18.160
<v Speaker 1>of the company because I always forget anyway, but there's

0:30:18.200 --> 0:30:21.640
<v Speaker 1>three ladies sitting on a bench and they're in their

0:30:21.800 --> 0:30:27.240
<v Speaker 1>probably eighties, and they're watching all these children going down

0:30:27.640 --> 0:30:31.560
<v Speaker 1>the snow, sliding down the snow. And one of the

0:30:31.640 --> 0:30:35.800
<v Speaker 1>ladies decides to buy some pillows to put on the

0:30:35.880 --> 0:30:38.840
<v Speaker 1>little I don't know, the sliding.

0:30:39.960 --> 0:30:43.720
<v Speaker 2>Little things that you used to go, yes, yes, the side, yeah, yeah.

0:30:43.920 --> 0:30:48.800
<v Speaker 1>And you see these three ladies, three ladies in their eighties,

0:30:48.840 --> 0:30:53.719
<v Speaker 1>sitting there enjoining going down the slope of this little

0:30:53.760 --> 0:30:57.760
<v Speaker 1>snow hill, just like when they were children.

0:30:59.240 --> 0:31:01.720
<v Speaker 3>Why because we always are.

0:31:02.480 --> 0:31:05.960
<v Speaker 1>Because that love, that desire, that the want to have

0:31:06.160 --> 0:31:08.880
<v Speaker 1>fun and be loving and show the world. And what

0:31:08.920 --> 0:31:11.120
<v Speaker 1>do you see when they get to the bottom.

0:31:11.440 --> 0:31:15.120
<v Speaker 3>Oh, they're smiling. How they're feeling that lung?

0:31:15.200 --> 0:31:20.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, healing their inner child. Oh yeah, yeah, but don't

0:31:20.200 --> 0:31:24.440
<v Speaker 2>make me cry anymore. Oh, I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

0:31:24.600 --> 0:31:27.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry. Okay, Well, I mean yeah, I think I

0:31:27.400 --> 0:31:29.480
<v Speaker 2>think even like getting I always say this too on

0:31:29.480 --> 0:31:31.240
<v Speaker 2>the podcast, I'm like, you know what, even if you

0:31:31.240 --> 0:31:33.560
<v Speaker 2>don't have a partner, you know, go and whatever it

0:31:33.680 --> 0:31:35.800
<v Speaker 2>is that makes you happy. Maybe that's what you're you know,

0:31:35.800 --> 0:31:37.440
<v Speaker 2>you're gonna wake up that and see how you feel.

0:31:37.440 --> 0:31:38.720
<v Speaker 2>If you want to go to lunch, if you want

0:31:38.720 --> 0:31:40.280
<v Speaker 2>to take a bath, if you want to cover my house,

0:31:40.520 --> 0:31:42.040
<v Speaker 2>whatever you want to do. On Valantine's that you let

0:31:42.080 --> 0:31:42.280
<v Speaker 2>me know.

0:31:42.400 --> 0:31:44.560
<v Speaker 1>What's her address? Just write it down from it?

0:31:44.640 --> 0:31:52.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, okay, yes, yes, please write it down. Okay, okay.

0:31:52.320 --> 0:31:55.240
<v Speaker 2>Next question for those in a long in long term relationships,

0:31:55.560 --> 0:31:58.200
<v Speaker 2>do you have any advice on how to spice it up?

0:31:58.280 --> 0:32:02.240
<v Speaker 2>You know what? If well, how long was your longest marriage?

0:32:02.440 --> 0:32:05.320
<v Speaker 1>That's a very good question. Let's see. Let me backtrack here.

0:32:07.320 --> 0:32:10.360
<v Speaker 1>The longest was my last one. Okay, it was eleven

0:32:10.440 --> 0:32:17.440
<v Speaker 1>years and they were amazing. Yeah, they were amazing. We

0:32:17.520 --> 0:32:21.760
<v Speaker 1>had a lot, a lot of fun. I continue to

0:32:21.840 --> 0:32:27.320
<v Speaker 1>be very young through those years. If you get to

0:32:27.360 --> 0:32:29.480
<v Speaker 1>a point in your relationship where you have to start

0:32:29.600 --> 0:32:33.800
<v Speaker 1>thinking about how to spice it up, you've already screwed up.

0:32:34.080 --> 0:32:40.440
<v Speaker 2>Okay, okay, sure, no, we need to keep it spicy.

0:32:40.520 --> 0:32:44.680
<v Speaker 2>But in both ways, right, not just the woman. Okay, cool,

0:32:44.800 --> 0:32:48.440
<v Speaker 2>this man out there, Oh no, senor is you.

0:32:48.520 --> 0:32:51.959
<v Speaker 1>Have to you have to show your queen who she is.

0:32:52.640 --> 0:32:57.400
<v Speaker 1>You have to treat her as such. We've done enough

0:32:57.480 --> 0:33:00.920
<v Speaker 1>damage to this cultural baggage thing. It's move on and

0:33:01.160 --> 0:33:02.600
<v Speaker 1>just love them.

0:33:02.800 --> 0:33:07.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this machismo thing of like no, you know, yes,

0:33:08.160 --> 0:33:10.400
<v Speaker 2>that is so, and it has to be both ways.

0:33:10.400 --> 0:33:15.760
<v Speaker 2>Like I said, you know, women conquistar romance are men.

0:33:15.880 --> 0:33:17.480
<v Speaker 2>As I was trying to find the word in my head, okay,

0:33:17.840 --> 0:33:19.800
<v Speaker 2>and I always that's and that's that's another thing that

0:33:20.000 --> 0:33:23.800
<v Speaker 2>as women, we want men to know exactly what we

0:33:23.840 --> 0:33:26.240
<v Speaker 2>want and how we what we want. The truth is

0:33:27.640 --> 0:33:28.960
<v Speaker 2>we need to tell them. We need to let them

0:33:28.960 --> 0:33:31.600
<v Speaker 2>know what we expect, what we like. Hey, bring me chocolates.

0:33:31.640 --> 0:33:34.400
<v Speaker 2>I like flowers. I like this conquista. We also have

0:33:34.440 --> 0:33:37.200
<v Speaker 2>to communicate, you know, so just a little. That's my bo.

0:33:37.680 --> 0:33:40.440
<v Speaker 1>Even and I think we were just talking. There was

0:33:40.440 --> 0:33:43.840
<v Speaker 1>a conversation going on today that even if you go

0:33:43.960 --> 0:33:47.200
<v Speaker 1>on a first date and at the beginning of the

0:33:47.280 --> 0:33:50.080
<v Speaker 1>night you both have this idea of where it should go,

0:33:51.120 --> 0:33:55.840
<v Speaker 1>talk about it. Yes, mention it, communicate, communicate even from

0:33:55.840 --> 0:33:57.560
<v Speaker 1>the very beginning, so that at the end of the

0:33:57.640 --> 0:34:01.040
<v Speaker 1>day you don't go, oh, is that how you felt?

0:34:01.240 --> 0:34:03.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh is that what you thought? Because no, we need

0:34:04.000 --> 0:34:06.400
<v Speaker 1>to talk about it. Yes, I messed up something. I

0:34:06.560 --> 0:34:09.799
<v Speaker 1>actually went out last night and there was a very

0:34:09.840 --> 0:34:13.799
<v Speaker 1>good looking younger man than me but closer to my

0:34:13.920 --> 0:34:16.279
<v Speaker 1>age next to me at the barket trying to get

0:34:16.280 --> 0:34:19.239
<v Speaker 1>a drink, And for like the few minutes that he

0:34:19.400 --> 0:34:21.840
<v Speaker 1>was there, I was like, Okay, in my mind, okay,

0:34:21.880 --> 0:34:25.000
<v Speaker 1>you're cute. And he's looking at me like okay, you're cute,

0:34:25.120 --> 0:34:28.399
<v Speaker 1>and let's get a drink. Why don't you get a drink?

0:34:28.440 --> 0:34:30.400
<v Speaker 1>Why don't we take a picture? And we do, and

0:34:30.440 --> 0:34:33.399
<v Speaker 1>then he leaves and I'm like, I messed that up.

0:34:34.800 --> 0:34:39.160
<v Speaker 2>Hey, here's my number? Oho, what is leana drink at

0:34:39.160 --> 0:34:40.880
<v Speaker 2>a bar. I want to know what's your drink, what's

0:34:40.680 --> 0:34:42.719
<v Speaker 2>your go to drink?

0:34:42.880 --> 0:34:47.360
<v Speaker 1>Actually, I have stopped drinking. Oh, okay, during the beginning

0:34:47.760 --> 0:34:53.080
<v Speaker 1>of January this year, a year already, I became a vegetarian.

0:34:53.440 --> 0:34:56.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh for her health purposes, Okay. I wanted to make

0:34:57.000 --> 0:35:01.000
<v Speaker 1>sure that I live a lot longer, and I decided

0:35:01.080 --> 0:35:04.279
<v Speaker 1>that coffee is now my drink of choice. Okay, and

0:35:05.040 --> 0:35:09.080
<v Speaker 1>once in a while, maybe just a tiny little bit

0:35:09.120 --> 0:35:11.040
<v Speaker 1>of vodka with some cranberry juice.

0:35:11.080 --> 0:35:12.640
<v Speaker 2>Okay, that's about and that's about it.

0:35:12.719 --> 0:35:14.760
<v Speaker 1>But I feel so much likely.

0:35:16.080 --> 0:35:19.759
<v Speaker 2>M girl. I know I've been thinking about that. It's

0:35:19.840 --> 0:35:22.319
<v Speaker 2>like my long term goal. I love tequila, but I'm

0:35:22.360 --> 0:35:24.880
<v Speaker 2>just like, yeah, I'm gonna cleanse Okay, you got to

0:35:24.920 --> 0:35:28.359
<v Speaker 2>cleanse it out. But but I I just it's part

0:35:28.360 --> 0:35:31.200
<v Speaker 2>of my shows, it's part of my culture, our culture,

0:35:31.320 --> 0:35:34.160
<v Speaker 2>you know. But I do want to hopefully want to

0:35:34.480 --> 0:35:34.839
<v Speaker 2>that is.

0:35:34.760 --> 0:35:39.080
<v Speaker 1>My alcoholic baggage.

0:35:40.120 --> 0:35:43.279
<v Speaker 2>Kidding, but but yeah, I mean I commend you for that.

0:35:43.280 --> 0:35:46.600
<v Speaker 2>That's admirable because that's honestly one of my desires is

0:35:46.640 --> 0:35:49.400
<v Speaker 2>to be vegetarian and not drink any alcohol at all.

0:35:49.520 --> 0:35:51.480
<v Speaker 2>So okay, I want to ask you said you were

0:35:51.480 --> 0:35:52.560
<v Speaker 2>at a bar, so I was like, I wonder what

0:35:52.640 --> 0:35:53.000
<v Speaker 2>she drinks.

0:35:53.120 --> 0:35:55.560
<v Speaker 1>Well, you know, the one thing that I truly believe in.

0:35:56.040 --> 0:35:58.319
<v Speaker 2>Is willpower mm hmm, big time.

0:35:58.880 --> 0:36:01.480
<v Speaker 1>And willpower is very hard to have and.

0:36:01.360 --> 0:36:04.640
<v Speaker 2>Keep yup and keep As we get older, I've noticed

0:36:04.719 --> 0:36:06.520
<v Speaker 2>it's harder and harder. But will part that's something I

0:36:06.560 --> 0:36:08.640
<v Speaker 2>love to do. That's why I do these cleanses. I

0:36:08.680 --> 0:36:11.919
<v Speaker 2>like to challenge myself, my body, my mind. So that's

0:36:11.960 --> 0:36:14.319
<v Speaker 2>one thing that I feel has been lost as well,

0:36:14.760 --> 0:36:16.440
<v Speaker 2>besides love. It's like I don't want to challenge one

0:36:16.480 --> 0:36:18.480
<v Speaker 2>everything easy. We want that magic pill that's gonna make

0:36:18.520 --> 0:36:22.040
<v Speaker 2>us everything just so easy and fast. So that's awesome. Willpower.

0:36:22.160 --> 0:36:23.879
<v Speaker 1>I'm so glad it's willpower.

0:36:23.880 --> 0:36:24.360
<v Speaker 2>Willpower.

0:36:24.560 --> 0:36:26.319
<v Speaker 1>That's one thing that I can say I have a

0:36:26.360 --> 0:36:30.040
<v Speaker 1>lot of, and I think that willpower is also what

0:36:30.280 --> 0:36:34.160
<v Speaker 1>helped me make it through each relationship because I might

0:36:34.160 --> 0:36:36.560
<v Speaker 1>have been married five times, but I also did a

0:36:36.560 --> 0:36:42.080
<v Speaker 1>lot of dating in between. What can I tell? What

0:36:42.160 --> 0:36:44.960
<v Speaker 1>can I tell you that I am fourteen years behind?

0:36:45.480 --> 0:36:46.680
<v Speaker 1>So number six.

0:36:46.560 --> 0:36:47.320
<v Speaker 3>Move right along?

0:36:47.400 --> 0:36:52.440
<v Speaker 2>Hello, Hello, I keep insisting, Okay, so I have a

0:36:52.440 --> 0:36:54.840
<v Speaker 2>great question and talk about this. No A partner. Number

0:36:54.880 --> 0:36:58.759
<v Speaker 2>six okay, just if someone's watching. What qualities make a

0:36:58.760 --> 0:36:59.400
<v Speaker 2>good partner?

0:37:00.120 --> 0:37:05.600
<v Speaker 1>Oh, kindness, kindness, humility.

0:37:06.640 --> 0:37:08.839
<v Speaker 2>Is it important that he believes in God as well

0:37:08.880 --> 0:37:09.640
<v Speaker 2>or has your same faith?

0:37:09.800 --> 0:37:12.759
<v Speaker 1>Yes, he has to believe in God. He has to

0:37:12.800 --> 0:37:16.400
<v Speaker 1>have some form of faith, you know, to keep on going.

0:37:17.320 --> 0:37:20.080
<v Speaker 1>It's so hard to hold onto it. But and he's

0:37:20.120 --> 0:37:22.920
<v Speaker 1>got to have a little bit of good looks. I mean,

0:37:23.000 --> 0:37:25.600
<v Speaker 1>I gotta have something good to look at. I'm giving

0:37:25.680 --> 0:37:27.040
<v Speaker 1>him my back, yes.

0:37:27.320 --> 0:37:29.600
<v Speaker 2>Yes, and a good package of money. And I'm.

0:37:31.160 --> 0:37:33.400
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know what she was going with that joking.

0:37:34.040 --> 0:37:35.040
<v Speaker 2>Pablo's over there, like.

0:37:34.960 --> 0:37:36.920
<v Speaker 1>What money is? What we're talking about? Money?

0:37:37.040 --> 0:37:40.200
<v Speaker 2>Yes? Money, Okay, I'm just kidding. No, you guys, I'm not.

0:37:40.320 --> 0:37:42.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm not. Honestly, I'm not that type of girl. I'm

0:37:42.200 --> 0:37:46.480
<v Speaker 2>not like a gold digger. Because I agree with you,

0:37:46.560 --> 0:37:49.200
<v Speaker 2>I need a man. Then, Also, how to communicate that

0:37:49.360 --> 0:37:53.080
<v Speaker 2>is kind Kindness goes. That's a part of your character,

0:37:53.200 --> 0:37:56.839
<v Speaker 2>you know when someone's kind, like when how they treat

0:37:56.920 --> 0:37:59.560
<v Speaker 2>other people, you know, I just little things like that.

0:37:59.600 --> 0:38:02.200
<v Speaker 2>I am very observant, so kindness is huge, huge, and

0:38:02.239 --> 0:38:04.920
<v Speaker 2>of course faith for me. Okay, so we have another question.

0:38:06.239 --> 0:38:11.279
<v Speaker 2>Are you four or against situationships, like, what are the

0:38:11.280 --> 0:38:12.880
<v Speaker 2>pros and the cons there? What do you think?

0:38:13.760 --> 0:38:14.600
<v Speaker 1>What do you mean by that?

0:38:14.640 --> 0:38:18.320
<v Speaker 2>A situation ship? So a situationship is a friend with benefits.

0:38:18.360 --> 0:38:20.680
<v Speaker 2>I don't have a relationship, but I have a situationship.

0:38:21.040 --> 0:38:24.480
<v Speaker 2>We we well, there's no title, we just you know.

0:38:24.719 --> 0:38:25.680
<v Speaker 1>Is that what it's called? Now?

0:38:25.680 --> 0:38:28.920
<v Speaker 2>It's a situationship and it's a huge thing. Or or

0:38:28.960 --> 0:38:32.520
<v Speaker 2>my sneaky link, your sneaky link? Do you have a

0:38:32.560 --> 0:38:36.799
<v Speaker 2>sneaky link? Leana? Oh, I wish I had to ask.

0:38:38.360 --> 0:38:39.920
<v Speaker 2>I'll find you and I'm just kidding, you know.

0:38:42.560 --> 0:38:44.760
<v Speaker 1>Wow, who's coming up with these words?

0:38:44.840 --> 0:38:51.399
<v Speaker 4>I don't know, But that's nuship situations No, I had

0:38:51.400 --> 0:38:55.279
<v Speaker 4>the opportunity to have one, maybe a couple of years ago,

0:38:55.520 --> 0:38:58.160
<v Speaker 4>with a much younger man.

0:38:58.239 --> 0:39:00.120
<v Speaker 1>Again because younger man look for me.

0:39:00.480 --> 0:39:02.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because you have a very young spirit for sure.

0:39:02.760 --> 0:39:07.319
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. But no, no, no, no, I wouldn't want to

0:39:08.000 --> 0:39:10.960
<v Speaker 1>at this point. No, hell, I don't have time for situationships,

0:39:10.960 --> 0:39:13.239
<v Speaker 1>situations You know what, if I died next year, I

0:39:13.280 --> 0:39:17.880
<v Speaker 1>want the one yearship, a one yearship, whatever life ship

0:39:18.320 --> 0:39:19.280
<v Speaker 1>comes my way.

0:39:19.520 --> 0:39:23.200
<v Speaker 2>I like that she likes live ships, for instance. Do

0:39:23.320 --> 0:39:25.960
<v Speaker 2>you feel that or have you learned from your own

0:39:26.000 --> 0:39:30.080
<v Speaker 2>experiences that having someone just to have sex with, Let's

0:39:30.120 --> 0:39:32.320
<v Speaker 2>just put it the way it is. It's like you.

0:39:33.040 --> 0:39:36.400
<v Speaker 2>For me, I've learned, I think that just giving yourself

0:39:36.440 --> 0:39:40.720
<v Speaker 2>to someone sexually, it's just you're exchanging energy. Like I don't.

0:39:41.239 --> 0:39:43.440
<v Speaker 2>I can't. I can't have just sex to have sex, like,

0:39:43.480 --> 0:39:44.840
<v Speaker 2>I have to have some type of feeling, you know,

0:39:44.960 --> 0:39:48.360
<v Speaker 2>situations I wouldn't work for me personally because I and

0:39:48.400 --> 0:39:50.239
<v Speaker 2>I've told my friend this and I'm not gonna say who,

0:39:50.360 --> 0:39:51.520
<v Speaker 2>but I told her, I said, you know what, I

0:39:51.560 --> 0:39:53.600
<v Speaker 2>think you need to stop having sex with these random guys.

0:39:53.680 --> 0:39:56.239
<v Speaker 2>You know, it's it's you're not allowing God in the

0:39:56.320 --> 0:39:59.120
<v Speaker 2>universe to bring in the right person because God and

0:39:59.520 --> 0:40:01.839
<v Speaker 2>the universe, so whatever you want to call it, thinks

0:40:01.920 --> 0:40:07.080
<v Speaker 2>you're busy because you are exchanging energy. Just chill, use

0:40:07.120 --> 0:40:08.360
<v Speaker 2>your vibrator. Okay.

0:40:08.600 --> 0:40:12.680
<v Speaker 1>Sorry, Like I say, I have a lot of sex.

0:40:12.920 --> 0:40:14.040
<v Speaker 1>There's just nobody there.

0:40:14.080 --> 0:40:18.680
<v Speaker 2>I love you. Yes, I'm not friend. I'm not friend that.

0:40:18.719 --> 0:40:23.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, look, i'd rather you save that and use this.

0:40:23.360 --> 0:40:24.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm the friend that's going to give you a vibrator

0:40:24.840 --> 0:40:27.200
<v Speaker 2>because I'm like, you know what this is safer. This

0:40:27.320 --> 0:40:30.680
<v Speaker 2>is safer for your feelings, and don't catch anything. It's

0:40:30.760 --> 0:40:33.920
<v Speaker 2>just better in every way. Just use this thing. So anyways,

0:40:33.920 --> 0:40:35.719
<v Speaker 2>we got into a whole other conversation. But that's what

0:40:35.760 --> 0:40:38.080
<v Speaker 2>she thinks on situations. Okay, I love it.

0:40:38.200 --> 0:40:41.799
<v Speaker 1>Oh no, no, no, they should know people. That's why

0:40:41.840 --> 0:40:44.920
<v Speaker 1>people are not loving each other. Yeah, because they're too busy.

0:40:45.080 --> 0:40:46.560
<v Speaker 1>Just one moment here, one moment there.

0:40:46.640 --> 0:40:46.839
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:40:46.920 --> 0:40:52.560
<v Speaker 1>Now, how many situations ships that's one person have And

0:40:52.600 --> 0:40:55.120
<v Speaker 1>how do you know or not know that these are

0:40:55.160 --> 0:40:58.200
<v Speaker 1>going on? And does it not bother.

0:40:58.040 --> 0:41:00.359
<v Speaker 2>You that you might not be the only one?

0:41:00.560 --> 0:41:04.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? How about diseases and things like that? How about no?

0:41:05.320 --> 0:41:09.120
<v Speaker 2>Yes, no on a situation? She doesn't like them. I honestly,

0:41:09.239 --> 0:41:10.600
<v Speaker 2>it's too too much.

0:41:10.600 --> 0:41:13.479
<v Speaker 1>And I'm with you now, I'm understanding the cancer prices link.

0:41:13.560 --> 0:41:13.759
<v Speaker 2>Here.

0:41:14.239 --> 0:41:15.960
<v Speaker 1>We have to have that feeling.

0:41:16.120 --> 0:41:18.719
<v Speaker 2>Ah for sure, that I loving feeling. Yeah, I'm like

0:41:18.760 --> 0:41:20.680
<v Speaker 2>I need to be attracted. I need to feel that

0:41:20.760 --> 0:41:22.840
<v Speaker 2>you want me. I need to just feel it. Okay,

0:41:22.840 --> 0:41:25.919
<v Speaker 2>So I have one more question for you, Only only

0:41:25.960 --> 0:41:28.520
<v Speaker 2>one more. It's okay though, because I've had such a

0:41:28.520 --> 0:41:29.839
<v Speaker 2>great time with you, I feel like we've only been

0:41:29.840 --> 0:41:33.640
<v Speaker 2>here for like fifteen minutes. Okay, So what's your best

0:41:33.680 --> 0:41:38.880
<v Speaker 2>advice on getting over an X? Listen up, guys, Okay,

0:41:38.960 --> 0:41:40.000
<v Speaker 2>what's your best advice on that?

0:41:40.600 --> 0:41:41.800
<v Speaker 3>Okay, that's your advice.

0:41:44.600 --> 0:41:49.799
<v Speaker 1>Remember to look in the mirror and just love yourself

0:41:51.040 --> 0:41:54.239
<v Speaker 1>when that person when you have a breakup, And I

0:41:54.280 --> 0:41:59.040
<v Speaker 1>can tell you after each breakup, yes, and I'm talking

0:41:59.080 --> 0:42:02.200
<v Speaker 1>not only a breakup of a relationship with a man.

0:42:02.480 --> 0:42:05.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm talking about a friendship with a woman. I'm talking

0:42:05.920 --> 0:42:10.240
<v Speaker 1>about a relationship with one of your parents, or your siblings,

0:42:10.320 --> 0:42:14.520
<v Speaker 1>or even your children. In order to continue with that,

0:42:14.800 --> 0:42:17.280
<v Speaker 1>you have to be number one, very honest with yourself,

0:42:18.400 --> 0:42:22.399
<v Speaker 1>love yourself, look in the mirror the very next day,

0:42:22.440 --> 0:42:25.840
<v Speaker 1>and go, I gave it my all. But you have

0:42:26.000 --> 0:42:29.359
<v Speaker 1>to absolutely be sure that you gave it your all,

0:42:29.680 --> 0:42:32.279
<v Speaker 1>because I'm gonna tell you, like it or not, I

0:42:32.400 --> 0:42:37.680
<v Speaker 1>gave each marriage and each relationship my very best. I

0:42:37.880 --> 0:42:40.759
<v Speaker 1>loved them. I might have not been too smart about it.

0:42:41.680 --> 0:42:45.200
<v Speaker 1>I might have made a lot of mistakes and silly choices,

0:42:45.719 --> 0:42:47.920
<v Speaker 1>but in my heart of hearts, I gave it my

0:42:47.960 --> 0:42:49.960
<v Speaker 1>all and I love them.

0:42:49.840 --> 0:42:51.160
<v Speaker 3>The best way that I could.

0:42:52.040 --> 0:42:54.880
<v Speaker 1>But I wasn't loved back the same way. So you

0:42:54.960 --> 0:42:55.920
<v Speaker 1>have to let them go.

0:42:56.200 --> 0:42:59.840
<v Speaker 2>I think that cats. It's not easy, but it's possible.

0:43:01.000 --> 0:43:04.880
<v Speaker 2>Know that you know what, This too shall pass.

0:43:05.200 --> 0:43:09.160
<v Speaker 1>And remember that the new relationship has nothing to do

0:43:09.200 --> 0:43:14.680
<v Speaker 1>with the old one. Nothing, not your past experiences, not

0:43:14.800 --> 0:43:17.760
<v Speaker 1>the mistakes that you made, not even the silly thoughts

0:43:17.760 --> 0:43:20.319
<v Speaker 1>that run in your mind every single day about the

0:43:20.400 --> 0:43:23.520
<v Speaker 1>mistakes from the past. When you have someone new in

0:43:23.560 --> 0:43:29.200
<v Speaker 1>your life, you give them that advice. Absolutely, do it all,

0:43:29.320 --> 0:43:32.640
<v Speaker 1>do it all all over and beautiful. And my best

0:43:32.680 --> 0:43:36.359
<v Speaker 1>advice to you is love this relationship that you are

0:43:36.400 --> 0:43:41.440
<v Speaker 1>in because it makes you so light and airy and bright.

0:43:42.160 --> 0:43:46.480
<v Speaker 1>Your eyes shine and your smile is so pretty. And

0:43:46.600 --> 0:43:50.480
<v Speaker 1>you're just thinking about it and I don't know him

0:43:50.800 --> 0:43:54.480
<v Speaker 1>and I just met you, But open up your heart,

0:43:54.800 --> 0:43:57.399
<v Speaker 1>open up your mind, and he will do the same.

0:43:57.480 --> 0:43:58.400
<v Speaker 3>He already.

0:44:00.400 --> 0:44:01.800
<v Speaker 1>And I want them by the wedding.

0:44:02.000 --> 0:44:04.680
<v Speaker 2>It's absolutely it's you guys heard it here and she

0:44:04.719 --> 0:44:07.919
<v Speaker 2>given chill, It's gonna happen. Oh no, thank you so much.

0:44:07.960 --> 0:44:10.359
<v Speaker 2>That means a lot to me. I love giving. I

0:44:10.400 --> 0:44:12.520
<v Speaker 2>love hearing. Should I say I love hearing that that

0:44:12.520 --> 0:44:14.919
<v Speaker 2>that advice from from you from like now, I haven't

0:44:14.920 --> 0:44:17.879
<v Speaker 2>Alita appreciate you have.

0:44:18.000 --> 0:44:21.440
<v Speaker 1>Me as you're Alita, my number anytime you want, you know,

0:44:21.600 --> 0:44:26.520
<v Speaker 1>I say this all anytime if you have a moment

0:44:26.560 --> 0:44:29.080
<v Speaker 1>when you have you just want to cry and you

0:44:29.160 --> 0:44:32.160
<v Speaker 1>just go, hey, Lily, listen up. That's all. I will

0:44:32.200 --> 0:44:34.640
<v Speaker 1>be there, just to listen to your tears, just to

0:44:34.680 --> 0:44:37.839
<v Speaker 1>listen to one word you have to say. I want

0:44:37.880 --> 0:44:40.960
<v Speaker 1>people to think of me as there a Alita. I

0:44:41.000 --> 0:44:45.319
<v Speaker 1>want people to help me live through them, to help

0:44:45.480 --> 0:44:47.960
<v Speaker 1>me give them a little bit of of the loving

0:44:48.040 --> 0:44:52.640
<v Speaker 1>advice that I never got because I would have been.

0:44:53.040 --> 0:44:55.640
<v Speaker 2>But look once, You're amazing. Thank you so much.

0:44:56.160 --> 0:44:58.640
<v Speaker 1>Yes, you are amazing.

0:44:59.440 --> 0:45:01.960
<v Speaker 2>It was a as It was a beautiful, beautiful conversation

0:45:02.040 --> 0:45:03.680
<v Speaker 2>and I'm so grateful that we were able to talk

0:45:03.680 --> 0:45:07.399
<v Speaker 2>about this. It's such an important subject, you know, love,

0:45:07.560 --> 0:45:11.760
<v Speaker 2>So you guys remember be loved based Okay, always open

0:45:11.800 --> 0:45:13.759
<v Speaker 2>your heart to love. That's the best way to live.

0:45:14.160 --> 0:45:16.759
<v Speaker 2>Don't give up all love. Like Lily said, you know,

0:45:17.320 --> 0:45:20.480
<v Speaker 2>to get over your ex, you just look within and say,

0:45:20.480 --> 0:45:23.279
<v Speaker 2>you know, what can I have done different? What can

0:45:23.320 --> 0:45:27.319
<v Speaker 2>I do better? And that always helps. You're like, okay, cool,

0:45:27.320 --> 0:45:29.319
<v Speaker 2>it didn't work here forgive that person so you can

0:45:29.400 --> 0:45:32.719
<v Speaker 2>move on. And I love what you said about giving yourself,

0:45:33.120 --> 0:45:36.000
<v Speaker 2>your newness to that new person. You know they should

0:45:36.000 --> 0:45:38.759
<v Speaker 2>not suffer because of your past. So that's another thing.

0:45:38.800 --> 0:45:41.719
<v Speaker 1>And I remember that if you're holding on to that

0:45:41.800 --> 0:45:44.680
<v Speaker 1>relationship you just broke up, but you're holding on to

0:45:44.800 --> 0:45:48.200
<v Speaker 1>that pain, to that resentment, And all that God is

0:45:48.239 --> 0:45:51.960
<v Speaker 1>saying to you is I have someone new that you

0:45:52.000 --> 0:45:52.959
<v Speaker 1>got to clear that slave.

0:45:53.000 --> 0:45:54.839
<v Speaker 2>You got to say, you gotta clear it, You gotta

0:45:54.960 --> 0:45:56.280
<v Speaker 2>let go of that baggage.

0:45:55.960 --> 0:45:57.160
<v Speaker 1>So I can bring him down.

0:45:57.320 --> 0:46:01.520
<v Speaker 2>Yes, thank you, you're such your so pleasant and thank

0:46:01.560 --> 0:46:04.080
<v Speaker 2>you guys for watching and listening to another episode of

0:46:04.120 --> 0:46:05.840
<v Speaker 2>Cheekys and Chill and I will see you guys on

0:46:05.880 --> 0:46:16.240
<v Speaker 2>the next one. Do you need advice on love, relationships,

0:46:16.440 --> 0:46:19.680
<v Speaker 2>health emails? I'm so excited to share with you that

0:46:19.680 --> 0:46:22.480
<v Speaker 2>my Cheekys and Chill podcast will have an extra episode

0:46:22.560 --> 0:46:26.520
<v Speaker 2>drop each week. I'll be answering all your questions. Just

0:46:26.600 --> 0:46:31.920
<v Speaker 2>leave me a voice message person, Menday. All you have

0:46:32.000 --> 0:46:34.480
<v Speaker 2>to do is go to speak pipe dot com, slash

0:46:34.560 --> 0:46:37.359
<v Speaker 2>Cheeky's and Chill podcast and record your questions. I can't

0:46:37.400 --> 0:46:40.440
<v Speaker 2>wait to hear from you. This is a production of

0:46:40.520 --> 0:46:45.080
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0:46:45.120 --> 0:46:49.400
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