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Speaker 1: I repeat this a million times in my life. People

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Speaker 1: don't change. We are who we are.

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Speaker 2: You can't change them.

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Speaker 1: No, and we can't change ourselves either. We are already

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Speaker 1: said in those ways. But we can truly compromise. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if you get to a point in your relationship where

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Speaker 1: you have to start thinking about how to spice it up,

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Speaker 1: you've already screwed up.

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Speaker 2: Oh Jane, Okay, sure, I just kidding.

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Speaker 1: Hello.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to a special love edition of Cheeky's and Chill

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Speaker 2: You guys. I am excited because today's guest she has

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Speaker 2: a lot of experience, a beautiful personality, and I can't

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Speaker 2: wait for you guys to meet her. Her name is

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Speaker 2: Leliana Mategro. She is an actress. She's a comedian and

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Speaker 2: the co host of a podcast name Date My. I

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Speaker 2: will lead that first on Michael Tura. So welcome here.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much, so much for being here.

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Speaker 1: It is an honor. It is such a privilege to

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Speaker 1: be here with you and talking about love, specially my

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Speaker 1: favorite subject in the world.

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Speaker 2: I know I have a lot of questions, by the way,

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Speaker 2: so I hope you don't mind.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, I am.

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Speaker 2: A hopeless I guess a hopeless romantic and away. I

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Speaker 2: love to love and to be loved. So I thought,

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Speaker 2: you know what, what better than to have a conversation

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Speaker 2: with a woman who has been married five times. We'll

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Speaker 2: get into that right now, you guys, which I to

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Speaker 2: me is very intriguing.

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Speaker 1: Not at the same time, let's clarify that.

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Speaker 2: Let's clarify that. But and it's it's the week of

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Speaker 2: Valentine's Day, so I said this, let's talk about everything

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Speaker 2: that has to do with love. So, so thank you,

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Speaker 2: thank you for taking the time to be here with me.

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Speaker 2: It's my brand new said. I'm still getting used to it.

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Speaker 2: I've done audio for so long. Thank you so much.

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Speaker 2: I wanted you to be warm. Yes, okay, so do

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Speaker 2: you feel like it's hugging you?

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Speaker 1: It is very much hugging me.

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Speaker 2: Okay, first of.

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Speaker 1: All, in which I know are very almost sixty eight

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Speaker 1: years of desserth what in March sixty.

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Speaker 2: I'm not even joking. I did not think you.

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Speaker 1: I'm approaching this seventy with a lot of hope.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you look you look great, and you have a

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Speaker 2: beautiful energy. It's my first time meeting her, you guys,

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Speaker 2: But to me, it's like I feel your energy and

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Speaker 2: you're very like you're just a big, beautiful personality. I

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Speaker 2: love it. I love it, and so Okay, first of all,

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Speaker 2: I'd like to ask you the podcast date Malita. First,

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Speaker 2: why why the name the title? I just I want

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Speaker 2: to know.

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Speaker 1: Well, the title came I Love It from the creators, Okay,

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Speaker 1: Leo clam They put the name together, and it was

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Speaker 1: their job to find the Awlita they wanted for this

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Speaker 1: particular show. You know, I never thought in my entire life,

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Speaker 1: as crazy as I have been, as much as people

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Speaker 1: call me the firecracker, as much as people like you

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Speaker 1: tell me you have a great energy, I've always believed

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Speaker 1: that you have to stay young, no matter how old. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: we never change who we are. When we become this

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Speaker 1: beautiful person as a child, and then a teenager and

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Speaker 1: then an adult, we're already set on who we are. Me.

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Speaker 1: I love love, just like you just mentioned to me before.

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Speaker 1: I love to love. I love being loved. And that

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Speaker 1: comes not only with your children, with your friends, with

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Speaker 1: your co workers, and with those that you choose as

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Speaker 1: your life partners. It's not an easy thing.

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Speaker 2: It's not it's a big risk, but it's something that

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Speaker 2: you get addicted to in a way, It's like, that's

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Speaker 2: what I always say. Love is the moving forward of

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Speaker 2: the universe, and sinamore Without love, how do we even exist.

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Speaker 2: It's like, even for me, it's like you're busy, you

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Speaker 2: have so many things to do, but then at the

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Speaker 2: end of the day, you want to be hugged, even

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Speaker 2: if it isn't by a partners, by maybe a friend

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Speaker 2: with benefits, a sibling, I don't know, just hug me.

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Speaker 2: I just need to be held love. It doesn't have

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Speaker 2: to just be a significant other. It's just love is

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Speaker 2: such a beautiful thing. It's a scary thing. It's a risk,

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Speaker 2: but I love to feel it and I love challenging. Yes,

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Speaker 2: it is challenging, very challenging.

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Speaker 1: But you know, when we are little, we're already set

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Speaker 1: and who loves us, and that love stays within us.

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Speaker 1: Like for me, my biggest love ever was Mayawulita was

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Speaker 1: both may Aulita, as though I was closer to my

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Speaker 1: mother's mother, I have never in my life met a

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Speaker 1: more gentle, kinder soul than that woman was to me,

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Speaker 1: where she would rush in the mornings to the fresh

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Speaker 1: bakery to get me that sweet bread that I could

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Speaker 1: take to school, and I could see her running from

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Speaker 1: the bakery to where I was taking the bus, with

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Speaker 1: her little belly, just bouncing down the street and going literally,

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Speaker 1: Lily your bread. That to me was love, Yes, caring

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Speaker 1: for others, giving of yourself. Absolutely, But we don't work

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Speaker 1: hard enough at it anymore. Times have changed so much

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Speaker 1: that we have kind of forgotten what love is all about.

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Speaker 1: And it's the only in my mind and in my heart.

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Speaker 1: It's like you just said, it's the only thing that

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Speaker 1: moves the world, and it's the one thing that we

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Speaker 1: are letting go off.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, yes, and we have to.

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Speaker 1: Bring it back. And that's why date may Awlita first wife,

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Speaker 1: because a wilitas know what it's about. Some of us

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Speaker 1: like I am Annawalita, I am an Awelita. I have

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Speaker 1: two grandsons, and I am so happy that they're boys

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Speaker 1: because I can teach them.

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Speaker 2: This is the way you do it, my boys, this

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Speaker 2: is the way you treat a woman. As Conquistas tell

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Speaker 2: us a little bit about like the you know, just

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Speaker 2: the concept of date Malita.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely. For those of you who will be joining us

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Speaker 1: brand new on season two, I'm goa dated oh, thank you.

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Speaker 1: Date may Awilita first. Now you're not dating me, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: though I would love the possibilities. But what it is

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Speaker 1: is we have one main data and three possible contestants

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Speaker 1: and the three of them have to go through games

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Speaker 1: and questions with a Wilita and my beautiful co host,

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Speaker 1: Vihico Ortiz, and we ask all these questions and they

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Speaker 1: have to go through me, meaning I have to like them,

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Speaker 1: I have to accept what they're saying. I have to

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Speaker 1: really really get to the bottom of it all because

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Speaker 1: you know, as a Wlita as we know it all.

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Speaker 2: Yes, oh my god, I love that.

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Speaker 1: And at the very end, the main data ends with

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Speaker 1: one of the contestants.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. Okay, So that's why I wanted to know.

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Speaker 2: I was like, okay, date my Wilita first, because you

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Speaker 2: think like you said, and I would, and it brings warmth,

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Speaker 2: it brings just something to your heart. And when you

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Speaker 2: say that right now, it made me. It made me like,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, wow, Unfortunately I don't have that right now,

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Speaker 2: you know, but it's.

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Speaker 1: Thank you day. You can call me anytime or not.

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Speaker 1: You know what, I've been reading a lot lately, you

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Speaker 1: know how on social media. They put these little sayings

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Speaker 1: and they put older people nowadays, which they tell everyone.

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Speaker 1: You know, Oh, I don't care what people say anymore.

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Speaker 1: I just want to love everybody. I'm going to be

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Speaker 1: as open as I can. But there's one thing that

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Speaker 1: keeps being repeated, and that is the fact that don't

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Speaker 1: come to me the day that I die and tell

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Speaker 1: me how much you loved me. Tell me now while

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Speaker 1: I'm still alive. You know, when I and all these

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Speaker 1: five marriages that we have mentioned, was I in love

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Speaker 1: every time? I know it's a question because when people

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Speaker 1: find out that I've been married five times, the first

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Speaker 1: thing that comes to their faces is laughter, and I go,

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Speaker 1: that's pretty cool, that it's pretty cool that my life

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Speaker 1: can make you smile. But it wasn't that easy for me,

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Speaker 1: because every time I was in love, every time I

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Speaker 1: wanted it to be the last.

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Speaker 3: One gave it.

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Speaker 1: Every time I wanted to be loved like never before. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and every time I failed. Every time we failed, we

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Speaker 1: failed to communicate, we failed to share, we failed to

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Speaker 1: remember that we can get to this sixty seven, approaching

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Speaker 1: your seventies really quick. And if you don't hold on

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Speaker 1: to that love you're going to be alone, and I

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Speaker 1: am alone. I am alone every single day of my life.

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Speaker 1: Because the family has moved on. Many of my love

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Speaker 1: to ones have passed away. My child and my grandkids

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Speaker 1: are in another state. So who do I love? I

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Speaker 1: love Cheeky when she welcomes me into her studio. I

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Speaker 1: love Leo when he takes me to lunch. I love

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Speaker 1: everyone that I meet along the way because that's what

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Speaker 1: my heart tells me to do.

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Speaker 2: You're so beautiful. I can't hold on, Guys, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: I know it's love is very spiritual, that is very

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Speaker 1: much a conscious choice. Yes, and we have to be kind.

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Speaker 2: It's a choice. Yeah. And when you say that, the

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Speaker 2: world people have even sometimes stop loving. I feel like

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Speaker 2: where is I go to different states and obviously we

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Speaker 2: live here in California, but sometimes I feel like it's

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Speaker 2: just the hustle and bustle, and it's you go to

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Speaker 2: another state and they open the door and they say

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Speaker 2: good morning. I'm like, this is so like, that's that's loving,

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Speaker 2: that's thank you, thank you for opening There other times

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Speaker 2: when I open the door for someone and they won't

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Speaker 2: even say thank you, and I'm just like, okay, cool,

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Speaker 2: you're welcome.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 2: It's like it's like little things like that that show love,

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Speaker 2: that show compassion, that show and I know I feel like, no,

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Speaker 2: we have to and I'm glad we're having this conversation.

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Speaker 2: And I'm glad you guys have date Maiwalita first because

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Speaker 2: we have to have this conversation so people don't forget

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Speaker 2: the importance of love and how we need to be

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Speaker 2: love based. And I always tell myself because for a

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Speaker 2: long time I was afraid of loving. I was afraid

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Speaker 2: of falling in love. So I had to And this

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Speaker 2: is a mantra of mine or an affirmation every morning

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Speaker 2: where I tell myself it is safe for me to

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Speaker 2: love and to be loved every day because I have

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Speaker 2: gotten hurt by people, even by my own parents, even

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Speaker 2: by just it just happens, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 2: And you feel I had for a long time the

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Speaker 2: fear of abandonment and I had to heal that and

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Speaker 2: it was because I love so hard. But because I

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Speaker 2: love so hard, I also hurt very hard. Because it's

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Speaker 2: like I told it, told them, I'm giving you everything.

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Speaker 2: And this is how come on with padas in a way,

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Speaker 2: if you don't mind me asking how when was the

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Speaker 2: first time? How old were you when you when you

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Speaker 2: first got married?

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Speaker 1: My very first time, I got married at nineteen. I

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Speaker 1: got pregnant at eighteen. I always said I came from

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Speaker 1: a very abusive upbringing when it comes to my mother.

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Speaker 1: But there was one word that I wanted to mention

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Speaker 1: to you when you were just saying all of this.

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Speaker 1: It's a matter and I've said it before, loving is

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Speaker 1: a matter of forgiving. We have to forgive ourselves. We

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Speaker 1: have to forgive our parents. Like my mom might have

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Speaker 1: done a lot of no nos, but she was so young.

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Speaker 1: She was seventeen when she had me, and she didn't

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Speaker 1: know any better.

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Speaker 3: It came from an abusive family all on her own.

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Speaker 1: She was the last child of nine and by that

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Speaker 1: time my grandfather, who was the chief of police, was

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Speaker 1: just so radical in his ways, and my grandmother, who

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Speaker 1: was the kindest, sweetest, but there was abuse there too.

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Speaker 1: It came from generations. Is that cultural baggage that we

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Speaker 1: just can't get rid of? But yes we can, and

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Speaker 1: yes we should because it's not taking us anywhere as Latinos.

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Speaker 1: We need to get rid of all of that.

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Speaker 2: Yep, we gotta stop in it, but I agree. I

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Speaker 2: agreed breaking generational curses guys.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, and we have to love. It's it's it's crazy

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Speaker 1: to think how far we have come in life and society,

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Speaker 1: but really, as Latinos, we haven't. Yeah, we have forgotten

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Speaker 1: that we were. We have been loved since we were.

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Speaker 1: We have so much to offer, so much. And I

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Speaker 1: have forgiven my mother, I have forgiven my past, I

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Speaker 1: have I have even forgiven husband number four, who died

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Speaker 1: on my birthday. Oh I know you loved me. It

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Speaker 1: was your last way of telling me. Okay, But yeah,

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Speaker 1: you have to forgive and you have to forgiving.

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Speaker 2: Is it gives you the wings to fly to sore?

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Speaker 2: I have a whole book on it because I had

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Speaker 2: to learn to forgive and really forgive, not just say it,

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Speaker 2: you know what it's like, really meaning it and really

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Speaker 2: just letting go of that baggage and resentment makes you sick.

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Speaker 2: It's like, it's not it's not healthy for you, it's

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Speaker 2: not healthy for the other person. So it's like it's

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Speaker 2: a gift. Forgiveness is a gift to ourselves, which is

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Speaker 2: also a part of loving. And do you still believe

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Speaker 2: in love? Do you feel like if you know, is

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Speaker 2: there another husband out there for you? I mean I

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Speaker 2: feel that.

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Speaker 1: I mean I am always looking for non say, it's

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Speaker 1: a great number let me tell you. Okay, so number one,

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Speaker 1: since you come from an abusive home, all you want

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Speaker 1: to do is run away from it. And I think

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Speaker 1: that the first time that I married, that's exactly what

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Speaker 1: I was looking for. However, I was blessed with a

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Speaker 1: child and having my beautiful Dela Gabriella. Ah, what a gift,

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Speaker 1: What a gift having her? Not only was it a

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Speaker 1: gift from her, but it's something that I don't talk

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Speaker 1: much or I haven't mentioned much on season one of

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Speaker 1: Dey Maya Wilita, But I am going to bring him

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Speaker 1: into the stage light, and that is God, because walking

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Speaker 1: in faith and living in that faith is the hardest

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Speaker 1: thing to do, especially when you are hurt, when you're

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Speaker 1: so young, when you don't know, especially when the years

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Speaker 1: go by. So when I had Delba, a couple of

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Speaker 1: years later, I had my first bout with cancer and

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Speaker 1: at that point I couldn't have any more children. So

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Speaker 1: that was my most beautiful gift ever, was to have her.

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Speaker 1: Of course, husband number one left me because he wanted

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Speaker 1: more kids.

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Speaker 2: Oh so that okay, Well, you know what, he came

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Speaker 2: and served his purpose to give you your baby girl. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because people ask me that all the time. This was

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Speaker 2: very hard for me to get married. First I've been

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Speaker 2: married and divorced, and then when we had we got

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Speaker 2: separated out to versall. It was so difficult. I was

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Speaker 2: just because I wanted to make it work. I was

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Speaker 2: I had I grew up in a household where you know,

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Speaker 2: marriage didn't work, and that's you know, I don't judge

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Speaker 2: my mother, and if anything, I've learned so much from it.

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Speaker 2: But I really I was like, yo, I want to

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Speaker 2: make it work, and I'm gonna try, and I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: try and I let go or should I say I

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Speaker 2: ignored a lot of red flags. But it broke my

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Speaker 2: heart so bad to get divorced because I wanted it

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Speaker 2: to work, and I was like, I don't want to

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Speaker 2: fall in the same steps. But it's like, in a

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Speaker 2: way back then, now I learned my lesson, but I

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Speaker 2: was in a way being judgmental and thinking not knowing

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Speaker 2: how difficult really marriage is and thinking, oh, it's easy,

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Speaker 2: we can make this work, and in a way not

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Speaker 2: blaming my mom because she had reasons to leave susparekas

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Speaker 2: you know her marriages, but I guess I just wanted

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Speaker 2: to ask. I was like, I want to make this work,

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Speaker 2: but it broke my heart. But now I'm like, you

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Speaker 2: know what I believe in marriage. I want to get married.

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Speaker 2: If I get married, I've said this before, I think

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Speaker 2: in interviews where I'm like, you know what, I'll be

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Speaker 2: like jayl you know with that she finds a man

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Speaker 2: and she gets married. Hey, whatever, love is love, and

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Speaker 2: you get married as many times as you want. So

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Speaker 2: I'm with you on that. You know, we're gonna pray

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Speaker 2: for a good number six for you, Thank you very much.

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Speaker 1: The only thing that I satrifice throughout all these marriages

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Speaker 1: was my relationship with my child. That was a love

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Speaker 1: that I misunderstood for a very long time. You never

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Speaker 1: stop having that conflict, not only with yourself but with

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Speaker 1: your child. I mean, had I had a boy, it

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Speaker 1: might have been different. But I have a daughter. And

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Speaker 1: of course we don't want our same choices and mistakes

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Speaker 1: to be passed on or the way that they see

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Speaker 1: us and they judge us, especially as you get older

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Speaker 1: and older and your child leaves you behind. So we

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Speaker 1: have to learn to not only forgive ourselves, but to

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Speaker 1: love ourselves more than we love that guy or that

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Speaker 1: idea of marriage. I would love to have ass my

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Speaker 1: number six. Let me tell you, I would love to

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Speaker 1: have a wonder man in my life because I thought

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Speaker 1: I loved number one. No, he gave me a beautiful gift.

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Speaker 1: I thought I loved number two. He was mean and abusive.

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Speaker 1: I thought I loved number three. I was a boring situation.

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Speaker 1: I thought I loved number four. Again he was mean

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Speaker 1: and demeaning. And I thought I loved number five, which

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Speaker 1: to this day I still do. But he was twenty

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Speaker 1: years younger. He was my spirit and for that reason

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Speaker 1: I still love him. But that a man has come

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Speaker 1: into my life and said I'm going to treat you

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Speaker 1: like the queen that you are, or I'm going to

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Speaker 1: give you all my love. No, that hasn't happened. So

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Speaker 1: if you are out there and you will like to

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Speaker 1: be number.

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Speaker 2: Six, make sure you're a good man. Though, no, we don't.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're still breathing.

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Speaker 2: You're still breathing, Oh my goodness. But with from every

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Speaker 2: person that you've you've been with and been married to,

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Speaker 2: you learn something. You grew you. And that's what I

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Speaker 2: feel like. I'm like, Okay, we learn where they're all teachers,

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Speaker 2: they're masters, and it's up to us what lesson we

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Speaker 2: learn to make ourselves better for the next person or

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Speaker 2: for ourselves even you know, but you did. That's something

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Speaker 2: that I speak about a lot on the podcast is

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Speaker 2: the importance of loving yourself. And you can only love

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Speaker 2: people as much as you love and respect yourself. And

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Speaker 2: you need to give yourself your place. And my mom

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Speaker 2: would always say, you know, you have your main meal,

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Speaker 2: your main course, and then your partner is the dessert.

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Speaker 2: They're there to compliment your life. They shouldn't be your

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Speaker 2: whole life. It's you respect them, they respect you, and

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Speaker 2: it's they're your dessert. And I'll never forget out.

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Speaker 1: And that is one thing that because we don't learn,

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Speaker 1: because we come from such a culture full of baggage

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Speaker 1: when it comes to the love department, we don't learn

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Speaker 1: to be kind or to give it our best shot,

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Speaker 1: or to really open up our hearts, or to accept

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Speaker 1: them for who they are. We always want to try

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Speaker 1: and change everyone around us. Yeah, and that is so silly,

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Speaker 1: you know. We need to just love everyone. Yeah, no

360
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Speaker 1: matter how we love them, accept them for who they are.

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Speaker 1: I repeat this a million times in my life. People

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Speaker 1: don't change. We are who we are.

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Speaker 2: You can't change them.

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Speaker 1: No, and we can't change ourselves either. We are already

365
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Speaker 1: said in those ways. But we can truly compromise. Yeah,

366
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Speaker 1: we can compromise. We can accept them for who they are,

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Speaker 1: and maybe in the communication process of creating that new relationship,

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Speaker 1: then you know have your best friend. And that's what

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Speaker 1: I miss about husband number five.

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Speaker 3: He was my best friend.

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Speaker 2: He was like your soul, like your soul mad he

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Speaker 2: totally was he totally. Was it a mutual like separation

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Speaker 2: is nice?

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Speaker 1: No, that was all me.

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Speaker 2: Okay, it was all me, And.

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Speaker 1: That is what I'm saying about not learning from our

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Speaker 1: own I've been alone now for fourteen years.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that was my next question.

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Speaker 1: Okayeen fourteen years, and those years I've had a lot

380
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Speaker 1: of time to get to know myself. But the reason

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Speaker 1: that I pushed him away One, he was younger. Two,

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Speaker 1: I thought he would be a great father. I thought

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Speaker 1: he needed to find a younger woman. And I just

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Speaker 1: pushed him completely away from my life. And is the

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Speaker 1: worst mistake.

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Speaker 3: I have ever made.

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Speaker 2: I think you're speaking to my soul right now.

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Speaker 3: Because my.

389
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Speaker 2: Partner, my fiance, is seven years younger, and I've been

390
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 2: battling with this and this is something I haven't spoken

391
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Speaker 2: to anyone really out loud because he's seven years younger,

392
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Speaker 2: and I wasn't sure for a long time if I

393
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Speaker 2: want to have kids or not, if I can even

394
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Speaker 2: I don't know, you know. And I was kind of

395
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,440
Speaker 2: in a way pushing him away. I'm like, you know what,

396
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:58,359
Speaker 2: maybe you need a younger girl and someone that hasn't

397
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Speaker 2: been married and hasn't been through all this stuff. I'm

398
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,840
Speaker 2: a workaholic, you know. Because you say, hey, I said

399
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Speaker 2: that before that, I felt like, but he's so good

400
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:08,680
Speaker 2: to me, Matra Tauben and he just says that I'm

401
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:10,359
Speaker 2: the best thing that's ever happened. And he treats me.

402
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:11,919
Speaker 2: It's not just he just says it. He treats me

403
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Speaker 2: very well. And I feel like, right now you're speaking

404
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:16,920
Speaker 2: to me, It's like, so, why are.

405
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Speaker 3: You still it all? Yeah, because that's exactly what we do.

406
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:24,320
Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like it's more in a way of like,

407
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Speaker 2: you know, self destructive.

408
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Speaker 1: I don't know it totally is, but in that process

409
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Speaker 1: of talking about how you have forgiven yourself? How have

410
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 1: you really mm hmm or what are you waiting for?

411
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 1: Who are you waiting to give you?

412
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:40,800
Speaker 2: Hello?

413
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:47,600
Speaker 1: Knock knock, chicky or knock knock on your heart? Yes,

414
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Speaker 1: seven years younger. So what he can bring some bright

415
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:55,719
Speaker 1: light and some enthusiasm and some something new to your

416
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,840
Speaker 1: relationship that you don't know anything about. And you think

417
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,119
Speaker 1: you can let go of that? Do you know what

418
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:04,360
Speaker 1: a gift that is? Don't ever let go of that

419
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,080
Speaker 1: when you just said that he treats you, well, that's

420
00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:15,440
Speaker 1: all you need is that love, that constant care and companionship,

421
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 1: that youthfulness, that rightness, that light, enjoy it and everywhere

422
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 1: that comes to your mind where you go, oh no,

423
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 1: you know, or my mom did this, or my uncle

424
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:33,320
Speaker 1: or Gino Leskina, whoever it is. We don't care about that.

425
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Speaker 1: We care what is happening and what Chiky is feeling

426
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Speaker 1: right now from this moment on. And you love him

427
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,920
Speaker 1: for who he is, and you give him those children

428
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Speaker 1: if you want them, that is your choice. But I

429
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Speaker 1: tell you, I'm just very happy I have one little

430
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:56,359
Speaker 1: girl that can stay in this world. I know that

431
00:23:56,680 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 1: the new generations are kind of staying away from being parents,

432
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 1: you know, and that's how our world is changing.

433
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,680
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I mean my OBGYN told me the other day,

434
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,359
Speaker 2: she said, you know, something that stuck to me. I

435
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 2: think for a long time I was afraid of having

436
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:21,120
Speaker 2: a baby because of the beautiful and also I don't

437
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 2: know what the word is, but with my mom and

438
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:24,640
Speaker 2: we were so close in age, we were like sisters.

439
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 2: We had a very very difficult relationship but a very

440
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 2: beautiful one at the same time. And I always thought, like,

441
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 2: I don't know, if you know, I've already raised my siblings,

442
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:33,920
Speaker 2: like I want to kind of do my own thing.

443
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,040
Speaker 2: And I made up all these excuses, you know, And

444
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,960
Speaker 2: it was out of fear I think of just I

445
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,119
Speaker 2: don't know, maybe repeating the same pattern. But I'm like,

446
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 2: it's up to me. Maybe that's what I have to do,

447
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,720
Speaker 2: is have a child to heal that relationship, you know.

448
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:51,119
Speaker 1: But she told me once, you want to have a

449
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 1: child to heal which relationship.

450
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 2: With my mom? Because I thought, if I have a girl,

451
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:57,639
Speaker 2: if I because I always wanted a boy for the

452
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,480
Speaker 2: same reason. Still now you feel that way, No, now

453
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 2: I don't.

454
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:01,119
Speaker 1: Now.

455
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,920
Speaker 2: Now I'm like, okay, look at Rioskira, whatever God wants.

456
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,919
Speaker 2: If I do have a girl, then maybe through that

457
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 2: relationship with my daughter, I can heal my relationship with

458
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:10,919
Speaker 2: my mom. And if it's a boy, then you know,

459
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 2: now it was like I want a boy. I want

460
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 2: a boy. If not, I don't want a kiss. It

461
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,720
Speaker 2: was kind of like that because of the fear of

462
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:20,119
Speaker 2: the relationship that I had, you know, even til the

463
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:22,200
Speaker 2: end of my mom's days, you know. And now it's

464
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 2: like it's crazy because we were like, we're so close,

465
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,440
Speaker 2: and people come and they see that you're so close

466
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,120
Speaker 2: to your mom and you have such an important place

467
00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 2: in her life that Kiki and Kita they want to

468
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:33,600
Speaker 2: cause issues, you know, and make up lies and do

469
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 2: all these things, and unfortunately things stay that way. The

470
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:37,840
Speaker 2: good thing is I've gone through therapy and I do

471
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 2: therapy and I do self work every single day, so

472
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,159
Speaker 2: I don't carry that with me anymore. I'm like, you

473
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 2: know what, my mom and I are good, So I've

474
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 2: healed that. Now. I feel like if he's the only person,

475
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,439
Speaker 2: my partner is the only one that has made me think, okay,

476
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:51,880
Speaker 2: he'd be a great father if he wants a kid

477
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 2: and God allows it, I guess it's whatever is meant

478
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:57,480
Speaker 2: to happen. I'm more open to it for sure. Now

479
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 2: now I'm like, you know, here here, here are my ovaries.

480
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:05,480
Speaker 2: Take them. But but yeah, I mean, also, my OBG.

481
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:06,760
Speaker 2: I was some me right now that you were telling

482
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:08,520
Speaker 2: about your daughter. She told me. She says, you know what,

483
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:10,439
Speaker 2: You're never going to regret having a child, but you

484
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 2: will regret not having one. Yes, And I said, oh,

485
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 2: well she told me. I was like, oh, okay, that

486
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,400
Speaker 2: changes things a little bit. I'm like, okay, so now

487
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 2: you're like, you know, you're you're happy you had one,

488
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:22,679
Speaker 2: and you're she's in the world and she's your legacy.

489
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,040
Speaker 2: So I don't know, you know, I know this has

490
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:28,919
Speaker 2: been kind of like a heavy conversations. It's been a

491
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:30,240
Speaker 2: heavy beautiful relationship's going to.

492
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 1: Gain some way at the end of the show.

493
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 2: But I'm telling you, guys, I love I love her personality. Okay,

494
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:38,560
Speaker 2: So would you mind if we ask you, if we

495
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 2: if I ask you a few questions?

496
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:40,680
Speaker 1: Oh please?

497
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 2: I don know I've asked you quite a bit, but

498
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,879
Speaker 2: I mean there there's some fun ones, you know, But okay,

499
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:50,160
Speaker 2: first of all, this is just one of my personal questions.

500
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,800
Speaker 2: What what's your sign? What's your your signal?

501
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 1: I'm a p with what was that word? I think

502
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:02,959
Speaker 1: rising my right seeing his pisces. Okay, a full on pieces?

503
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 2: You're a full on Oh wow, you're a full of pieces. Nice. Okay,

504
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 2: so we have a lot in common. I'm in cancer

505
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 2: and my mom was a cancer Know.

506
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 1: Much about since Yeah, I'll tell you later.

507
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 2: Okay, So since it's Valentine's Day week, let's start with this. Okay,

508
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,160
Speaker 2: what are your thoughts on the holiday? Do you celebrate it?

509
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,399
Speaker 2: Is it corner to you? Are you the type that, like,

510
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 2: you know, you like to spend time by yourself, you

511
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 2: go out with your Amiga's Like, what is it that

512
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:27,200
Speaker 2: you like doing for Valentine's Day?

513
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,679
Speaker 1: Again, we have to go into the topic of how

514
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:34,879
Speaker 1: the years go by and at our different ages. Like

515
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:38,680
Speaker 1: if there is people who are in their twenties or thirties,

516
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 1: let's talk about when I was at that age. Oh yes,

517
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:47,160
Speaker 1: I would celebrate everything. Yeah, as the years have gone by,

518
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 1: what will I do in a couple of days in

519
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:54,440
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day? I will probably call those that I love

520
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 1: the most. There will probably be on one hand the

521
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 1: number of people I will call because most people, like

522
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 1: I mentioned before, are too busy. People have very busy lives,

523
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:12,160
Speaker 1: and in the process of their busy lives, they don't

524
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 1: have time for anyone else. And as I was growing

525
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 1: up in my thirties, my forties, my fifties, even until

526
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,639
Speaker 1: my fifties before I sold my house a couple of

527
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 1: years ago and finally, you know, got rid of all

528
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:29,719
Speaker 1: those memories from the past, big parties, lots of people,

529
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 1: and then it's just you living in a little cubicle

530
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 1: because you have gotten older and everybody has moved on.

531
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 1: Up until then, I would celebrate all the time. I

532
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 1: would dress for the occasion. I will wear flowers, I

533
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 1: will buy flowers, I will send cards. I would call,

534
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 1: I would love, I would hug, I would kiss. Now,

535
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:55,400
Speaker 1: as you get older, nobody calls you. You don't make

536
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 1: that many more phone calls. The cards are not as

537
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 1: many that you buy. You pass by the aisles where

538
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 1: the chocolates and the hearts are, and you don't have

539
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 1: anyone to buy them for anymore. Well, when I say

540
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 1: love everyone around you, do it until the day they die.

541
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 1: Don't let them be all by themselves. Love your mothers,

542
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 1: your aunts, your grandmothers.

543
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 2: Show them there, show them, and you and everyone might agree,

544
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 2: might agree with me right now by looking at me.

545
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:43,240
Speaker 1: But wait, just wait until those twenty years go by,

546
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 1: and you'll be sitting in a chair and you'll be going, oh,

547
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 1: my goodness. I remember talking to Alita, and this is

548
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 1: what she was talking about. We don't do it because

549
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 1: we're mean people. We don't do it because you know,

550
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 1: we've been taught, Hey, you have to be like this

551
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 1: when you get to this age. No, we are always

552
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 1: we always keep that child in us. There's a commercial

553
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 1: that just came out. I'm not gonna say the name

554
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 1: of the company because I always forget anyway, but there's

555
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 1: three ladies sitting on a bench and they're in their

556
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 1: probably eighties, and they're watching all these children going down

557
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 1: the snow, sliding down the snow. And one of the

558
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:35,800
Speaker 1: ladies decides to buy some pillows to put on the

559
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 1: little I don't know, the sliding.

560
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 2: Little things that you used to go, yes, yes, the side, yeah, yeah.

561
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 1: And you see these three ladies, three ladies in their eighties,

562
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:53,719
Speaker 1: sitting there enjoining going down the slope of this little

563
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 1: snow hill, just like when they were children.

564
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 3: Why because we always are.

565
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 1: Because that love, that desire, that the want to have

566
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,880
Speaker 1: fun and be loving and show the world. And what

567
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:11,120
Speaker 1: do you see when they get to the bottom.

568
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:15,120
Speaker 3: Oh, they're smiling. How they're feeling that lung?

569
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:20,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, healing their inner child. Oh yeah, yeah, but don't

570
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 2: make me cry anymore. Oh, I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

571
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Okay, Well, I mean yeah, I think I

572
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 2: think even like getting I always say this too on

573
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 2: the podcast, I'm like, you know what, even if you

574
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:33,560
Speaker 2: don't have a partner, you know, go and whatever it

575
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 2: is that makes you happy. Maybe that's what you're you know,

576
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 2: you're gonna wake up that and see how you feel.

577
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:38,720
Speaker 2: If you want to go to lunch, if you want

578
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:40,280
Speaker 2: to take a bath, if you want to cover my house,

579
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 2: whatever you want to do. On Valantine's that you let

580
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 2: me know.

581
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 1: What's her address? Just write it down from it?

582
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, yes, yes, please write it down. Okay, okay.

583
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:55,240
Speaker 2: Next question for those in a long in long term relationships,

584
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 2: do you have any advice on how to spice it up?

585
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 2: You know what? If well, how long was your longest marriage?

586
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 1: That's a very good question. Let's see. Let me backtrack here.

587
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 1: The longest was my last one. Okay, it was eleven

588
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 1: years and they were amazing. Yeah, they were amazing. We

589
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 1: had a lot, a lot of fun. I continue to

590
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 1: be very young through those years. If you get to

591
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:29,480
Speaker 1: a point in your relationship where you have to start

592
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 1: thinking about how to spice it up, you've already screwed up.

593
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, sure, no, we need to keep it spicy.

594
00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 2: But in both ways, right, not just the woman. Okay, cool,

595
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 2: this man out there, Oh no, senor is you.

596
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:51,959
Speaker 1: Have to you have to show your queen who she is.

597
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:57,400
Speaker 1: You have to treat her as such. We've done enough

598
00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 1: damage to this cultural baggage thing. It's move on and

599
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 1: just love them.

600
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, this machismo thing of like no, you know, yes,

601
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 2: that is so, and it has to be both ways.

602
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 2: Like I said, you know, women conquistar romance are men.

603
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 2: As I was trying to find the word in my head, okay,

604
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 2: and I always that's and that's that's another thing that

605
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,800
Speaker 2: as women, we want men to know exactly what we

606
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 2: want and how we what we want. The truth is

607
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 2: we need to tell them. We need to let them

608
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,600
Speaker 2: know what we expect, what we like. Hey, bring me chocolates.

609
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 2: I like flowers. I like this conquista. We also have

610
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 2: to communicate, you know, so just a little. That's my bo.

611
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:40,440
Speaker 1: Even and I think we were just talking. There was

612
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 1: a conversation going on today that even if you go

613
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:47,200
Speaker 1: on a first date and at the beginning of the

614
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 1: night you both have this idea of where it should go,

615
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:55,840
Speaker 1: talk about it. Yes, mention it, communicate, communicate even from

616
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 1: the very beginning, so that at the end of the

617
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:01,040
Speaker 1: day you don't go, oh, is that how you felt?

618
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,960
Speaker 1: Oh is that what you thought? Because no, we need

619
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,400
Speaker 1: to talk about it. Yes, I messed up something. I

620
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,799
Speaker 1: actually went out last night and there was a very

621
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 1: good looking younger man than me but closer to my

622
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,279
Speaker 1: age next to me at the barket trying to get

623
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:19,239
Speaker 1: a drink, And for like the few minutes that he

624
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:21,840
Speaker 1: was there, I was like, Okay, in my mind, okay,

625
00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 1: you're cute. And he's looking at me like okay, you're cute,

626
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:28,399
Speaker 1: and let's get a drink. Why don't you get a drink?

627
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:30,400
Speaker 1: Why don't we take a picture? And we do, and

628
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:33,399
Speaker 1: then he leaves and I'm like, I messed that up.

629
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:39,160
Speaker 2: Hey, here's my number? Oho, what is leana drink at

630
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:40,880
Speaker 2: a bar. I want to know what's your drink, what's

631
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:42,719
Speaker 2: your go to drink?

632
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:47,360
Speaker 1: Actually, I have stopped drinking. Oh, okay, during the beginning

633
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:53,080
Speaker 1: of January this year, a year already, I became a vegetarian.

634
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 1: Oh for her health purposes, Okay. I wanted to make

635
00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:01,000
Speaker 1: sure that I live a lot longer, and I decided

636
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 1: that coffee is now my drink of choice. Okay, and

637
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:09,080
Speaker 1: once in a while, maybe just a tiny little bit

638
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 1: of vodka with some cranberry juice.

639
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 2: Okay, that's about and that's about it.

640
00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:14,760
Speaker 1: But I feel so much likely.

641
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:19,759
Speaker 2: M girl. I know I've been thinking about that. It's

642
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 2: like my long term goal. I love tequila, but I'm

643
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,880
Speaker 2: just like, yeah, I'm gonna cleanse Okay, you got to

644
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:28,359
Speaker 2: cleanse it out. But but I I just it's part

645
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 2: of my shows, it's part of my culture, our culture,

646
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:34,160
Speaker 2: you know. But I do want to hopefully want to

647
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:34,839
Speaker 2: that is.

648
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 1: My alcoholic baggage.

649
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:43,279
Speaker 2: Kidding, but but yeah, I mean I commend you for that.

650
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 2: That's admirable because that's honestly one of my desires is

651
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,400
Speaker 2: to be vegetarian and not drink any alcohol at all.

652
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 2: So okay, I want to ask you said you were

653
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 2: at a bar, so I was like, I wonder what

654
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 2: she drinks.

655
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,560
Speaker 1: Well, you know, the one thing that I truly believe in.

656
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:58,319
Speaker 2: Is willpower mm hmm, big time.

657
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 1: And willpower is very hard to have and.

658
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,640
Speaker 2: Keep yup and keep As we get older, I've noticed

659
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 2: it's harder and harder. But will part that's something I

660
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:08,640
Speaker 2: love to do. That's why I do these cleanses. I

661
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:11,919
Speaker 2: like to challenge myself, my body, my mind. So that's

662
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:14,319
Speaker 2: one thing that I feel has been lost as well,

663
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,440
Speaker 2: besides love. It's like I don't want to challenge one

664
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 2: everything easy. We want that magic pill that's gonna make

665
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 2: us everything just so easy and fast. So that's awesome. Willpower.

666
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:23,879
Speaker 1: I'm so glad it's willpower.

667
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:24,360
Speaker 2: Willpower.

668
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 1: That's one thing that I can say I have a

669
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 1: lot of, and I think that willpower is also what

670
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 1: helped me make it through each relationship because I might

671
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 1: have been married five times, but I also did a

672
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:42,080
Speaker 1: lot of dating in between. What can I tell? What

673
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 1: can I tell you that I am fourteen years behind?

674
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 1: So number six.

675
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:47,320
Speaker 3: Move right along?

676
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:52,440
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, I keep insisting, Okay, so I have a

677
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:54,840
Speaker 2: great question and talk about this. No A partner. Number

678
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:58,759
Speaker 2: six okay, just if someone's watching. What qualities make a

679
00:36:58,760 --> 00:36:59,400
Speaker 2: good partner?

680
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 1: Oh, kindness, kindness, humility.

681
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:08,839
Speaker 2: Is it important that he believes in God as well

682
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 2: or has your same faith?

683
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,759
Speaker 1: Yes, he has to believe in God. He has to

684
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:16,400
Speaker 1: have some form of faith, you know, to keep on going.

685
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,080
Speaker 1: It's so hard to hold onto it. But and he's

686
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,920
Speaker 1: got to have a little bit of good looks. I mean,

687
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 1: I gotta have something good to look at. I'm giving

688
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 1: him my back, yes.

689
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 2: Yes, and a good package of money. And I'm.

690
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,400
Speaker 1: I didn't know what she was going with that joking.

691
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 2: Pablo's over there, like.

692
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 1: What money is? What we're talking about? Money?

693
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 2: Yes? Money, Okay, I'm just kidding. No, you guys, I'm not.

694
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:42,160
Speaker 2: I'm not. Honestly, I'm not that type of girl. I'm

695
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:46,480
Speaker 2: not like a gold digger. Because I agree with you,

696
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:49,200
Speaker 2: I need a man. Then, Also, how to communicate that

697
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 2: is kind Kindness goes. That's a part of your character,

698
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:56,839
Speaker 2: you know when someone's kind, like when how they treat

699
00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:59,560
Speaker 2: other people, you know, I just little things like that.

700
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 2: I am very observant, so kindness is huge, huge, and

701
00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:04,920
Speaker 2: of course faith for me. Okay, so we have another question.

702
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:11,279
Speaker 2: Are you four or against situationships, like, what are the

703
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:12,880
Speaker 2: pros and the cons there? What do you think?

704
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 1: What do you mean by that?

705
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:18,320
Speaker 2: A situation ship? So a situationship is a friend with benefits.

706
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 2: I don't have a relationship, but I have a situationship.

707
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:24,480
Speaker 2: We we well, there's no title, we just you know.

708
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 1: Is that what it's called? Now?

709
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,920
Speaker 2: It's a situationship and it's a huge thing. Or or

710
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 2: my sneaky link, your sneaky link? Do you have a

711
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:36,799
Speaker 2: sneaky link? Leana? Oh, I wish I had to ask.

712
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 2: I'll find you and I'm just kidding, you know.

713
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,760
Speaker 1: Wow, who's coming up with these words?

714
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:51,399
Speaker 4: I don't know, But that's nuship situations No, I had

715
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:55,279
Speaker 4: the opportunity to have one, maybe a couple of years ago,

716
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 4: with a much younger man.

717
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:00,120
Speaker 1: Again because younger man look for me.

718
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:02,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you have a very young spirit for sure.

719
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:07,319
Speaker 1: Yeah. But no, no, no, no, I wouldn't want to

720
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,960
Speaker 1: at this point. No, hell, I don't have time for situationships,

721
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,239
Speaker 1: situations You know what, if I died next year, I

722
00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:17,880
Speaker 1: want the one yearship, a one yearship, whatever life ship

723
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:19,280
Speaker 1: comes my way.

724
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 2: I like that she likes live ships, for instance. Do

725
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,960
Speaker 2: you feel that or have you learned from your own

726
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:30,080
Speaker 2: experiences that having someone just to have sex with, Let's

727
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:32,320
Speaker 2: just put it the way it is. It's like you.

728
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:36,400
Speaker 2: For me, I've learned, I think that just giving yourself

729
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:40,720
Speaker 2: to someone sexually, it's just you're exchanging energy. Like I don't.

730
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:43,440
Speaker 2: I can't. I can't have just sex to have sex, like,

731
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:44,840
Speaker 2: I have to have some type of feeling, you know,

732
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:48,360
Speaker 2: situations I wouldn't work for me personally because I and

733
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:50,239
Speaker 2: I've told my friend this and I'm not gonna say who,

734
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:51,520
Speaker 2: but I told her, I said, you know what, I

735
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 2: think you need to stop having sex with these random guys.

736
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 2: You know, it's it's you're not allowing God in the

737
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 2: universe to bring in the right person because God and

738
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:01,839
Speaker 2: the universe, so whatever you want to call it, thinks

739
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:07,080
Speaker 2: you're busy because you are exchanging energy. Just chill, use

740
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:08,360
Speaker 2: your vibrator. Okay.

741
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 1: Sorry, Like I say, I have a lot of sex.

742
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 1: There's just nobody there.

743
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 2: I love you. Yes, I'm not friend. I'm not friend that.

744
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 2: I'm like, look, i'd rather you save that and use this.

745
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:24,840
Speaker 2: I'm the friend that's going to give you a vibrator

746
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 2: because I'm like, you know what this is safer. This

747
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 2: is safer for your feelings, and don't catch anything. It's

748
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:33,920
Speaker 2: just better in every way. Just use this thing. So anyways,

749
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 2: we got into a whole other conversation. But that's what

750
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 2: she thinks on situations. Okay, I love it.

751
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, they should know people. That's why

752
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 1: people are not loving each other. Yeah, because they're too busy.

753
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:46,560
Speaker 1: Just one moment here, one moment there.

754
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:46,839
Speaker 2: Yeah.

755
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:52,560
Speaker 1: Now, how many situations ships that's one person have And

756
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 1: how do you know or not know that these are

757
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:58,200
Speaker 1: going on? And does it not bother.

758
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:00,359
Speaker 2: You that you might not be the only one?

759
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 1: Yeah? How about diseases and things like that? How about no?

760
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:09,120
Speaker 2: Yes, no on a situation? She doesn't like them. I honestly,

761
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:10,600
Speaker 2: it's too too much.

762
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:13,479
Speaker 1: And I'm with you now, I'm understanding the cancer prices link.

763
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 2: Here.

764
00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 1: We have to have that feeling.

765
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:18,719
Speaker 2: Ah for sure, that I loving feeling. Yeah, I'm like

766
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 2: I need to be attracted. I need to feel that

767
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:22,840
Speaker 2: you want me. I need to just feel it. Okay,

768
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:25,919
Speaker 2: So I have one more question for you, Only only

769
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 2: one more. It's okay though, because I've had such a

770
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:29,839
Speaker 2: great time with you, I feel like we've only been

771
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 2: here for like fifteen minutes. Okay, So what's your best

772
00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:38,880
Speaker 2: advice on getting over an X? Listen up, guys, Okay,

773
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:40,000
Speaker 2: what's your best advice on that?

774
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:41,800
Speaker 3: Okay, that's your advice.

775
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:49,799
Speaker 1: Remember to look in the mirror and just love yourself

776
00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:54,239
Speaker 1: when that person when you have a breakup, And I

777
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:59,040
Speaker 1: can tell you after each breakup, yes, and I'm talking

778
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 1: not only a breakup of a relationship with a man.

779
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:05,880
Speaker 1: I'm talking about a friendship with a woman. I'm talking

780
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:10,240
Speaker 1: about a relationship with one of your parents, or your siblings,

781
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 1: or even your children. In order to continue with that,

782
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:17,280
Speaker 1: you have to be number one, very honest with yourself,

783
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:22,399
Speaker 1: love yourself, look in the mirror the very next day,

784
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:25,840
Speaker 1: and go, I gave it my all. But you have

785
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:29,359
Speaker 1: to absolutely be sure that you gave it your all,

786
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 1: because I'm gonna tell you, like it or not, I

787
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 1: gave each marriage and each relationship my very best. I

788
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:40,759
Speaker 1: loved them. I might have not been too smart about it.

789
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:45,200
Speaker 1: I might have made a lot of mistakes and silly choices,

790
00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:47,920
Speaker 1: but in my heart of hearts, I gave it my

791
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 1: all and I love them.

792
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:51,160
Speaker 3: The best way that I could.

793
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:54,880
Speaker 1: But I wasn't loved back the same way. So you

794
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:55,920
Speaker 1: have to let them go.

795
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:59,840
Speaker 2: I think that cats. It's not easy, but it's possible.

796
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:04,880
Speaker 2: Know that you know what, This too shall pass.

797
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 1: And remember that the new relationship has nothing to do

798
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 1: with the old one. Nothing, not your past experiences, not

799
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,760
Speaker 1: the mistakes that you made, not even the silly thoughts

800
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:20,319
Speaker 1: that run in your mind every single day about the

801
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 1: mistakes from the past. When you have someone new in

802
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 1: your life, you give them that advice. Absolutely, do it all,

803
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:32,640
Speaker 1: do it all all over and beautiful. And my best

804
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:36,359
Speaker 1: advice to you is love this relationship that you are

805
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:41,440
Speaker 1: in because it makes you so light and airy and bright.

806
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:46,480
Speaker 1: Your eyes shine and your smile is so pretty. And

807
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 1: you're just thinking about it and I don't know him

808
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:54,480
Speaker 1: and I just met you, But open up your heart,

809
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:57,399
Speaker 1: open up your mind, and he will do the same.

810
00:43:57,480 --> 00:43:58,400
Speaker 3: He already.

811
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:01,800
Speaker 1: And I want them by the wedding.

812
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,680
Speaker 2: It's absolutely it's you guys heard it here and she

813
00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:07,919
Speaker 2: given chill, It's gonna happen. Oh no, thank you so much.

814
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:10,359
Speaker 2: That means a lot to me. I love giving. I

815
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:12,520
Speaker 2: love hearing. Should I say I love hearing that that

816
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:14,919
Speaker 2: that advice from from you from like now, I haven't

817
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:17,879
Speaker 2: Alita appreciate you have.

818
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 1: Me as you're Alita, my number anytime you want, you know,

819
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 1: I say this all anytime if you have a moment

820
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:29,080
Speaker 1: when you have you just want to cry and you

821
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 1: just go, hey, Lily, listen up. That's all. I will

822
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 1: be there, just to listen to your tears, just to

823
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:37,839
Speaker 1: listen to one word you have to say. I want

824
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 1: people to think of me as there a Alita. I

825
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:45,319
Speaker 1: want people to help me live through them, to help

826
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:47,960
Speaker 1: me give them a little bit of of the loving

827
00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:52,640
Speaker 1: advice that I never got because I would have been.

828
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:55,640
Speaker 2: But look once, You're amazing. Thank you so much.

829
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:58,640
Speaker 1: Yes, you are amazing.

830
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 2: It was a as It was a beautiful, beautiful conversation

831
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 2: and I'm so grateful that we were able to talk

832
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:07,399
Speaker 2: about this. It's such an important subject, you know, love,

833
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:11,760
Speaker 2: So you guys remember be loved based Okay, always open

834
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:13,759
Speaker 2: your heart to love. That's the best way to live.

835
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 2: Don't give up all love. Like Lily said, you know,

836
00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:20,480
Speaker 2: to get over your ex, you just look within and say,

837
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 2: you know, what can I have done different? What can

838
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:27,319
Speaker 2: I do better? And that always helps. You're like, okay, cool,

839
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:29,319
Speaker 2: it didn't work here forgive that person so you can

840
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:32,719
Speaker 2: move on. And I love what you said about giving yourself,

841
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:36,000
Speaker 2: your newness to that new person. You know they should

842
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,759
Speaker 2: not suffer because of your past. So that's another thing.

843
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:41,719
Speaker 1: And I remember that if you're holding on to that

844
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 1: relationship you just broke up, but you're holding on to

845
00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:48,200
Speaker 1: that pain, to that resentment, And all that God is

846
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:51,960
Speaker 1: saying to you is I have someone new that you

847
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:52,959
Speaker 1: got to clear that slave.

848
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:54,839
Speaker 2: You got to say, you gotta clear it, You gotta

849
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:56,280
Speaker 2: let go of that baggage.

850
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 1: So I can bring him down.

851
00:45:57,320 --> 00:46:01,520
Speaker 2: Yes, thank you, you're such your so pleasant and thank

852
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 2: you guys for watching and listening to another episode of

853
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:05,840
Speaker 2: Cheekys and Chill and I will see you guys on

854
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:16,240
Speaker 2: the next one. Do you need advice on love, relationships,

855
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:19,680
Speaker 2: health emails? I'm so excited to share with you that

856
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 2: my Cheekys and Chill podcast will have an extra episode

857
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 2: drop each week. I'll be answering all your questions. Just

858
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 2: leave me a voice message person, Menday. All you have

859
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 2: to do is go to speak pipe dot com, slash

860
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:37,359
Speaker 2: Cheeky's and Chill podcast and record your questions. I can't

861
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:40,440
Speaker 2: wait to hear from you. This is a production of

862
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