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Speaker 1: I repeat this a million times in my life. People

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Speaker 1: don't change. We are who we are.

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Speaker 2: You can't change them.

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Speaker 1: No, and we can't change ourselves either. We are already

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Speaker 1: said in those ways. But we can truly compromise. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if you get to a point in your relationship where

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Speaker 1: you have to start thinking about how to spice it up,

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Speaker 1: you've already screwed up.

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Speaker 2: Oh Jane, Okay, sure, I just kidding.

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Speaker 3: Hello.

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Speaker 4: Welcome to a special love edition of Cheeky's and Chill

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Speaker 4: You guys. I am excited because today's guest she has

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Speaker 4: a lot of experience, a beautiful personality, and I can't

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Speaker 4: wait for you guys to meet her. Her name is

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Speaker 4: Leliana Mategro. She is an actress. She's a comedian and

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Speaker 4: the co host of a podcast name Date My. I

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Speaker 4: will lead that first on Michael Tura.

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Speaker 2: So welcome here. Thank you so much, so much for

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Speaker 2: being here.

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Speaker 1: It is an honor. It is such a privilege to

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Speaker 1: be here with you and talking about love, specially my

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Speaker 1: favorite subject in the world.

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Speaker 3: I know I have a.

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Speaker 2: Lot of questions, by the way, so I hope you

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Speaker 2: don't mind.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, I am a.

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Speaker 4: Hopeless I guess a hopeless romantic and away. I love

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Speaker 4: to love and to be loved. So I thought, you

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Speaker 4: know what, what better than to have a conversation with

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Speaker 4: a woman who has been married five times. We'll get

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Speaker 4: into that right now, you guys, which I to me

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Speaker 4: is very intriguing.

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Speaker 1: Not at the same time, let's clarify that.

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Speaker 2: Let's clarify that.

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Speaker 4: But and it's it's the week of Valentine's Day, so

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Speaker 4: I said this, let's talk about everything that has to

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Speaker 4: do with love. So, so thank you, thank you for

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Speaker 4: taking the time to be here with me. It's my

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Speaker 4: brand new said. I'm still getting used to it. I've

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Speaker 4: done audio for so long.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much. I wanted you to be warm. Yes, okay,

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Speaker 2: so do you feel like it's hugging you?

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Speaker 1: It is very much hugging me.

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Speaker 2: Okay, first of.

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Speaker 1: All, in which I know are very almost sixty eight

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Speaker 1: years of desserth what in March sixty.

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Speaker 2: I'm not even joking. I did not think you.

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Speaker 1: I'm approaching this seventy with a lot of hope.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you look you look great, and you have a

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Speaker 4: beautiful energy. It's my first time meeting her, you guys,

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Speaker 4: But to me, it's like I feel your energy and

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Speaker 4: you're very like you're just a big, beautiful personality.

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Speaker 2: I love it.

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Speaker 4: I love it, and so Okay, first of all, I'd

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Speaker 4: like to ask you the podcast date Malita. First, why

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Speaker 4: why the name the title? I just I want to know.

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Speaker 1: Well, the title came I Love It from the creators, Okay,

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Speaker 1: Leo clam They put the name together, and it was

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Speaker 1: their job to find the Awlita they wanted for this

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Speaker 1: particular show. You know, I never thought in my entire life,

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Speaker 1: as crazy as I have been, as much as people

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Speaker 1: call me the firecracker, as much as people like you

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Speaker 1: tell me you have a great energy, I've always believed

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Speaker 1: that you have to stay young, no matter how old. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: we never change who we are. When we become this

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Speaker 1: beautiful person as a child, and then a teenager and

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Speaker 1: then an adult, we're already set on who we are.

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Speaker 4: Me.

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Speaker 1: I love love, just like you just mentioned to me before.

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Speaker 1: I love to love. I love being loved. And that

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Speaker 1: comes not only with your children, with your friends, with

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Speaker 1: your co workers, and with those that you choose as

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Speaker 1: your life partners. It's not an easy thing.

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Speaker 4: It's not it's a big risk, but I it's something

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Speaker 4: that you get addicted to in a way, It's like,

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Speaker 4: that's what I always say. Love is the moving forward

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Speaker 4: of the universe, and sinamore Without love, how do we

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Speaker 4: even exist. It's like, even for me, it's like you're busy,

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Speaker 4: you have so many things to do, but then at

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Speaker 4: the end of the day, you want to be hugged,

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Speaker 4: even if it isn't by a partners, by maybe a

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Speaker 4: friend with benefits, a sibling, I don't know, just hug me.

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Speaker 4: I just need to be held love. It doesn't have

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Speaker 4: to just be a significant other. It's just love is

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Speaker 4: such a beautiful thing. It's a scary thing. It's a risk,

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Speaker 4: but I love.

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Speaker 2: To feel it and I love challenging. Yes, it is challenging,

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Speaker 2: very challenging.

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Speaker 1: But you know, when we are little, we're already set

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Speaker 1: and who loves us and that love stays within us.

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Speaker 1: Like for me, my biggest love ever was Mayawulita was

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Speaker 1: both may Aulita, as though I was closer to my

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Speaker 1: mother's mother, I have never in my life met a

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Speaker 1: more gentle, kinder soul than that woman was to me,

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Speaker 1: where she would rush in the mornings to the fresh

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Speaker 1: bakery to get me that sweet bread that I could

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Speaker 1: take to school, and I could see her running from

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Speaker 1: the bakery to where I was taking the bus, with

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Speaker 1: her little belly, just bouncing down the street and going, literally,

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Speaker 1: Lily your bread. That to me was love, Yes, caring

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Speaker 1: for others, giving of yourself. Absolutely, But we don't work

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Speaker 1: hard enough at it anymore. Times have changed so much

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Speaker 1: that we have kind of forgotten what love is all about.

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Speaker 1: And it's the only in my mind and in my heart.

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Speaker 1: It's like you just said, it's the only thing that

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Speaker 1: moves the world, and it's the one thing that we

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Speaker 1: are letting go off.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, yes, and we have to.

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Speaker 1: Bring it back. And that's why date may Awlita first wife,

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Speaker 1: because a wilitas know what it's about. Some of us

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Speaker 1: like I am Annawalita, I am an Awelita. I have

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Speaker 1: two grandsons, and I am so happy that they're boys

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Speaker 1: because I can teach them.

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Speaker 2: This is the way you do it, my boys, this

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Speaker 2: is the way you treat a woman.

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Speaker 4: As Conquistas tell us a little bit about like the

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Speaker 4: you know, just the concept of date Malita.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely. For those of you who will be joining us

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Speaker 1: brand new on season two, I'm goa dated. Oh, thank you,

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Speaker 1: date may Awilita first. Now you're not dating me, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: though I would love the possibilities. But what it is

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Speaker 1: is we have one main data and three possible contestants

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Speaker 1: and the three of them have to go through games

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Speaker 1: and questions with a Wilita and my beautiful co host,

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Speaker 1: Vihico ortiz Ok and we ask all these questions and

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Speaker 1: they have to go through me, meaning I have to

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Speaker 1: like them, I have to accept what they're saying. I

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Speaker 1: have to really really get to the bottom of it

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Speaker 1: all because you know, as a Wlita as we.

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Speaker 2: Know it all. Yes, oh my god, I love that.

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Speaker 1: And at the very end, the main data ends with

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Speaker 1: one of the contestants.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. Okay.

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Speaker 4: So that's why I wanted to know. I was like, okay,

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Speaker 4: date my Wilita first, because you think like you said,

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Speaker 4: and I would, and it brings warmth, it brings just

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Speaker 4: something to your heart. And when you say that right now,

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Speaker 4: it made me. It made me like, I'm like, wow,

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Speaker 4: Unfortunately I don't have that right now, you know, but it's.

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Speaker 1: Thank you day. You can call me anytime or not.

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Speaker 1: You know what, I've been reading a lot lately. You

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Speaker 1: know how on social media they put these little sayings

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Speaker 1: and they put older people nowadays, which they tell everyone.

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Speaker 1: You know, Oh, I don't care what people say anymore.

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Speaker 1: I just want to love everybody. I'm going to be

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Speaker 1: as open as I can. But there's one thing that

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Speaker 1: keeps being repeated, and that is the fact that don't

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Speaker 1: come to me the day that I die and tell

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Speaker 1: me how much you loved me. Tell me now while

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Speaker 1: I'm still alive. You know, when I and all these

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Speaker 1: five marriages that we have mentioned, was I in love

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Speaker 1: every time? I know it's a question because when people

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Speaker 1: find out that I've been married five times, the first

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Speaker 1: thing that comes to their faces is laughter, and I go,

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Speaker 1: that's pretty cool, that it's pretty cool that my life

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Speaker 1: can make you smile. But it wasn't that easy for me,

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Speaker 1: because every time I was in love, every time I

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Speaker 1: wanted it to be the last one, you gave it.

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Speaker 1: Every time I wanted to be loved like never before. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and every time I failed. Every time we failed, we

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Speaker 1: failed to communicate, we failed to share, we failed to

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Speaker 1: remember that we can get to this sixty seven, approaching

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Speaker 1: your seventies really quick, and if you don't hold on

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Speaker 1: to that love, You're going to be alone, and I

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Speaker 1: am alone. I am alone every single day of my life.

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Speaker 1: Because the family has moved on, many of my love

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Speaker 1: to ones have passed away. My child and my grandkids

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Speaker 1: are in another state. So who do I love? I

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Speaker 1: love Cheeky when she welcomes me into her studio. I

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Speaker 1: love Leo when he takes me to lunch. I love

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Speaker 1: everyone that I meet along the way because that's what

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Speaker 1: my heart tells me to do.

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Speaker 2: You're so beautiful. I can't hold on, guys, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: I know it's love is very spiritual. That is very

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Speaker 1: much a conscious choice. Yes, and we have to be kind.

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Speaker 2: It's a choice. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: And when you say that, the world people have even

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Speaker 4: sometimes stop loving. I feel like where is I go

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Speaker 4: to different states and obviously we live here in California,

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Speaker 4: but sometimes I feel like it's just the hustle and bustle,

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Speaker 4: and it's you go to another state and they open

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Speaker 4: the door and they say good morning. I'm like, this

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Speaker 4: is so like, that's that's loving, that's thank you, thank

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Speaker 4: you for opening There other times when I open the

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Speaker 4: door for someone and they won't even say thank you,

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Speaker 4: and I'm just like Okay.

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Speaker 2: Cool, You're welcome.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 4: It's like it's like little things like that that show love,

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Speaker 4: that show compassion, that show and I know I feel like, no,

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Speaker 4: we have to and I'm glad we're having this conversation.

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Speaker 4: And I'm glad you guys have date Maiwalita first because

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Speaker 4: we have to have this conversation so people don't forget

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Speaker 4: the importance of love and how we need to be

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Speaker 4: love based. And I always tell myself because for a

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Speaker 4: long time I was afraid of loving.

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Speaker 2: I was afraid of falling in love.

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Speaker 4: So I had to And this is a mantra of

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Speaker 4: mine or an affirmation every morning where I tell myself

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Speaker 4: it is safe for me to love and to be

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Speaker 4: loved every day because I have gotten hurt by people,

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Speaker 4: even by my own parents, even by just it just happens,

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Speaker 4: you know what I mean. And you feel I had

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Speaker 4: for a long time the fear of abandonment and I

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Speaker 4: had to heal that and it was because I love

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Speaker 4: so hard. But because I love so hard, I also

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Speaker 4: hurt very hard. Because it's like I told it, told them,

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Speaker 4: I'm giving you everything. And this is how come on

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Speaker 4: with PaaS in a way, if you don't mind me

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Speaker 4: asking how when was the first time? How old were

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Speaker 4: you when you when you first got married?

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Speaker 1: My very first time, I got married at nineteen. I

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Speaker 1: got pregnant at eighteen. I always said I came from

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Speaker 1: a very abusive upbringing when it comes to my mother.

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Speaker 1: But there was one word that I wanted to mention

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Speaker 1: to you when you were just saying all of this.

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Speaker 1: It's a matter and I've said it before, loving is

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Speaker 1: a matter of forgiving. We have to forgive ourselves. We

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Speaker 1: have to forgive our parents. Like my mom might have

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Speaker 1: done a lot of no nos, but she was so young.

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Speaker 1: She was seventeen when she had me, and she didn't

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Speaker 1: know any better.

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Speaker 3: It came from an abusive family all on her own.

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Speaker 1: She was the last child of nine and by that

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Speaker 1: time my grandfather, who was the chief of police, was

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Speaker 1: just so radical in his ways, and my grandmother, who

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Speaker 1: was the kindest, sweetest, but there was abuse there too.

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Speaker 1: It came from generations. Is that cultural baggage that we

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Speaker 1: just can't get rid of? But yes we can, and

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Speaker 1: yes we should because it's not taking us anywhere as Latinos.

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Speaker 1: We need to get rid of all of that.

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Speaker 4: Yep, we gotta stop in it. But I agree, I

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Speaker 4: agreed breaking generational curses guys.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, and we have to love. It's it's crazy to

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Speaker 1: think how far we have come in life and society,

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Speaker 1: but really, as Latinos, we haven't. Yeah, we have forgotten

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Speaker 1: that we were. We have been loved since we were.

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Speaker 1: We have so much to offer, so much. And I

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Speaker 1: have forgiven my mother, I have forgiven my past, I

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Speaker 1: have I have even forgiven husband number four, who died

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Speaker 1: on my birthday. Oh I know you loved me. It

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Speaker 1: was your last way of telling me. Okay, But yeah.

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Speaker 2: You have to forgive, and you have to forgiving. Is

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Speaker 2: it gives you the wings to fly to sore?

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Speaker 4: I have a whole book on it because I had

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Speaker 4: to learn to forgive and really forgive, not just say it,

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Speaker 4: you know what it's like, really meaning it and really

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Speaker 4: just letting go of that baggage and resentment makes you sick.

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Speaker 4: It's like, it's not it's not healthy for you, it's

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Speaker 4: not healthy for the other person. So it's like it's

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Speaker 4: a gift. Forgiveness is a gift to ourselves, which is

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Speaker 4: also a part of loving. And do you still believe

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Speaker 4: in love? Do you feel like, if you know, is

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Speaker 4: there another husband out there for you?

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Speaker 2: I mean I feel that. I mean I.

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Speaker 1: Am always looking for non say, it's a great number,

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Speaker 1: let me tell you. Okay, so number one, since you

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Speaker 1: come from an abusive home, all you want to do

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Speaker 1: is run away from it. And I think that the

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Speaker 1: first time that I married, that's exactly what I was

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Speaker 1: looking for. However, I was blessed with a child and

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Speaker 1: having my beautiful Delabrilla. Ah, what a gift, What a

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Speaker 1: gift having her? Not only was it a gift from her,

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Speaker 1: but it's something that I don't talk much or I

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Speaker 1: haven't mentioned much on season one of Dey Maya Wilita,

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Speaker 1: But I am going to bring him into the stage light,

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Speaker 1: and that is God, because walking in faith and living

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Speaker 1: in that faith is the hardest thing to do, especially

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Speaker 1: when you are hurt, when you're so young, when you

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Speaker 1: don't know, especially when the years go by. So when

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Speaker 1: I had Delba, a couple of years later, I had

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Speaker 1: my first bout with cancer and at that point I

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Speaker 1: couldn't have any more children. So that was my most

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Speaker 1: beautiful gift ever, was to have her. Of course, husband

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Speaker 1: number one left me because he wanted more kids.

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Speaker 4: Oh so that okay, Well, you know what, he came

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Speaker 4: and served his purpose to give you your baby girl.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because people ask me that all the time. This

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Speaker 2: was very hard for me to get married.

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Speaker 4: First I've been married and divorced, and then when we

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Speaker 4: had we got separated out to versall. It was so difficult.

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Speaker 4: I was just because I wanted to make it work.

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Speaker 4: I was I had I grew up in a household

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Speaker 4: where you know, marriage didn't work, and that's you know,

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Speaker 4: I don't judge my mother, and if anything, I've learned

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Speaker 4: so much from it. But I really I was like, yo,

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Speaker 4: I want to make it work, and I'm gonna try,

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Speaker 4: and I'm gonna try and I let go or should

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Speaker 4: I say I ignored a lot of red flags. But

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Speaker 4: it broke my heart so bad to get divorced because

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Speaker 4: I wanted it to work, and I was like, I

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Speaker 4: don't want.

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Speaker 2: To fall in the same steps.

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Speaker 4: But it's like, in a way back then, now I

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Speaker 4: learned my lesson, but I was in a way being

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Speaker 4: judgmental and thinking not knowing how difficult really marriage is

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Speaker 4: and thinking, oh, it's easy, we can make this work,

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Speaker 4: and in a way.

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Speaker 2: Not blaming my mom.

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Speaker 4: Because she had reasons to leave susparekas you know her marriages,

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Speaker 4: but I guess I just wanted to ask. I was like,

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Speaker 4: I want to make this work, but it broke my heart.

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Speaker 4: But now I'm like, you know what I believe in marriage.

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Speaker 2: I want to get married. If I get married, I've

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Speaker 2: said this.

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Speaker 4: Before, I think in interviews where I'm like, you know what,

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Speaker 4: I'll be like jayl you know with that she finds

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Speaker 4: a man and she gets married. Hey, whatever, love is love,

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Speaker 4: and you get married as many times as you want.

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Speaker 2: So I'm with you on that. You know, we're gonna

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Speaker 2: pray for a good number six for you, Thank you

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Speaker 2: very much.

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Speaker 1: The only thing that I sat scrifice throughout all these

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Speaker 1: marriages was my relationship with my child. That was a

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Speaker 1: love that I misunderstood for a very long time. You

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Speaker 1: never stop having that conflict, not only with yourself but

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Speaker 1: with your child. I mean, had I had a boy,

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Speaker 1: it might have been different. But I have a daughter.

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Speaker 1: And of course we don't want our same choices and

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Speaker 1: mistakes to be passed on or the way that they

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Speaker 1: see us and they judge us, especially as you get

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Speaker 1: older and older and your child leaves you behind. So

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Speaker 1: we have to learn to not only forgive ourselves, but

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Speaker 1: to love ourselves more than we love that guy or

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Speaker 1: that idea of marriage. I would love to have ass

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Speaker 1: my number six. Let me tell you, I would love

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Speaker 1: to have a wonder man in my life because I

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Speaker 1: thought I loved number one. No, he gave me a

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Speaker 1: beautiful gift. I thought I loved number two. He was

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Speaker 1: mean and abusive. I thought I loved number three. I

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Speaker 1: was a boring situation. I thought I loved number four.

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Speaker 1: Again he was mean and demeaning. And I thought I

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Speaker 1: loved number five, which to this day I still do.

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Speaker 1: But he was twenty years younger. He was my spirit

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Speaker 1: and for that reason I still love him. But that

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Speaker 1: a man has come into my life and said I'm

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Speaker 1: going to treat you like the queen that you are,

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Speaker 1: or I'm going to give you all my love. No,

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Speaker 1: that hasn't happened. So if you are out there and

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Speaker 1: you will like to be number six, make.

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Speaker 2: Sure you're a good man. Though, no, we don't you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're still breathing.

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Speaker 2: You're still breathing, Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 4: But with from every person that you've you've been with

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Speaker 4: and been married to, you learn something.

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Speaker 2: You grew you. And that's what I feel like.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, Okay, we learn where they're all teachers, they're masters,

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Speaker 4: and it's up to us what lesson we learn to

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Speaker 4: make ourselves better for the next person or for ourselves

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Speaker 4: even you know, but you did. That's something that I

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Speaker 4: speak about a lot on the podcast is the importance

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Speaker 4: of loving yourself. And you can only love people as

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Speaker 4: much as you love and respect yourself.

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Speaker 2: And you need to give yourself your place.

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Speaker 4: And my mom would always say, you know, you have

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Speaker 4: your main meal, your main course, and then your partner

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Speaker 4: is the dessert. They're there to compliment your life. They

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Speaker 4: shouldn't be your whole life. It's you respect them, they

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Speaker 4: respect you, and it's they're your dessert. And I'll never

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Speaker 4: forget out.

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Speaker 1: And that is one thing that because we don't learn,

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Speaker 1: because we come from such a culture full of baggage

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Speaker 1: when it comes to the love department, we don't learn

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Speaker 1: to be kind or to give it our best shot,

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Speaker 1: or to really open up our hearts, or to accept

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Speaker 1: them for who they are. We always want to try

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Speaker 1: and change everyone around us. Yeah, and that is so silly,

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Speaker 1: you know. We need to just love everyone. Yeah, no

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Speaker 1: matter how we love them, accept them for who they are.

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Speaker 1: I repeat this a million times in my life. People

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Speaker 1: don't change. We are who we are.

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Speaker 2: You can't change them.

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Speaker 1: No, and we can't change ourselves either. We are already

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Speaker 1: said in those ways. But we can truly compromise. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we can compromise. We can accept them for who they are,

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Speaker 1: and maybe in the communication process of creating that new relationship,

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Speaker 1: then you know have your best friend. And that's what

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Speaker 1: I miss about husband number five.

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Speaker 3: He was my best friend.

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Speaker 2: He was like your soul, like your soul mad he

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Speaker 2: totally was he totally. Was it a mutual like separation

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Speaker 2: is nice?

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Speaker 1: No, that was all me. Okay, it was all me,

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Speaker 1: And that is what I'm saying about not learning from

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Speaker 1: our own I've been alone now for fourteen years.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that was my next question.

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Speaker 1: Okayeen fourteen years, and those years I've had a lot

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Speaker 1: of time to get to know myself. But the reason

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Speaker 1: that I pushed him away One, he was younger. Two,

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Speaker 1: I thought he would be a great father. I thought

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Speaker 1: he needed to find a younger woman. And I just

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Speaker 1: pushed him completely away from my life.

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Speaker 3: And is the worst mistake I have ever made.

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Speaker 2: I think you're speaking to my soul right now.

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Speaker 3: Because my.

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Speaker 4: Partner, my fiance, is seven years younger, and I've been

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Speaker 4: battling with this and this is something I haven't spoken

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Speaker 4: to anyone really out loud because he's seven years younger,

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Speaker 4: and I wasn't sure for a long time if I

400
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Speaker 4: want to have kids or not, if I can even

401
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Speaker 4: I don't know, you know.

402
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Speaker 2: And I was kind of in a way pushing him away.

403
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Speaker 2: I'm like, you know what, maybe you need a younger

404
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Speaker 2: girl and someone that hasn't been married and hasn't been

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Speaker 2: through all this stuff.

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Speaker 4: I'm a workaholic, you know. Because you say, hey, I

407
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Speaker 4: said that before that, I felt like, but he's so

408
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Speaker 4: good to me, Matratauvien, and he just says that I'm

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Speaker 4: the best thing that's ever happened. And he treats me.

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Speaker 4: It's not just he just says it. He treats me

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Speaker 4: very well. And I feel like, right now you're speaking

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Speaker 4: to me.

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Speaker 1: It's like, so, why are you stilling it all?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because that's exactly what we do.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like it's more in a way of like,

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Speaker 2: you know, self destructive.

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Speaker 1: I don't know it totally is, but in that process

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Speaker 1: of talking about how you have forgiven yourself? How have

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Speaker 1: you really mm hmm or what are you waiting for?

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Speaker 1: Who are you waiting to give you?

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Speaker 2: Hello?

422
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Speaker 1: Knock knock, chicky or knock knock on your heart? Yes,

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Speaker 1: seven years younger. So what he can bring some bright

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Speaker 1: light and some enthusiasm and some something new to your

425
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,840
Speaker 1: relationship that you don't know anything about. And you think

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Speaker 1: you can let go of that, do you know what

427
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:04,360
Speaker 1: a gift that is? Don't ever let go of that

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Speaker 1: when you just said that he treats you, well, that's

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Speaker 1: all you need is that love, that constant care and companionship,

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Speaker 1: that youthfulness, that rightness, that light, enjoy it and everywhere

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00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,960
Speaker 1: that comes to your mind where you go, oh no,

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Speaker 1: you know, or my mom did this, or my uncle

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Speaker 1: or Gino Leskina, whoever it is. We don't care about that.

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Speaker 1: We care what is happening and what Chiky is feeling

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Speaker 1: right now from this moment on. And you love him

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Speaker 1: for who he is, and you give him those children

437
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 1: if you want them, that is your choice. But I

438
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 1: tell you, I'm just very happy I have one little

439
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:56,359
Speaker 1: girl that can stay in this world. I know that

440
00:23:56,680 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 1: the new generations are kind of staying away from being parents,

441
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 1: you know, and that's how our world is changing.

442
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,680
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, I mean my OBGYN told me the other day,

443
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,359
Speaker 4: she said, you know, something that stuck to me. I

444
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 4: think for a long time I was afraid of having

445
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,000
Speaker 4: a baby because of the.

446
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 2: Beautiful and also.

447
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 4: I don't know what the word is, but with my

448
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,040
Speaker 4: mom and we were so close in age, we were

449
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:27,280
Speaker 4: like sisters. We had a very very difficult relationship but

450
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:29,119
Speaker 4: a very beautiful one at the same time. And I

451
00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 4: always thought, like, I don't know, if you know, I've

452
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,240
Speaker 4: already raised my siblings, like I want to kind of

453
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:36,160
Speaker 4: do my own thing. And I made up all these excuses,

454
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:39,240
Speaker 4: you know, And it was out of fear I think

455
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:41,800
Speaker 4: of just I don't know, maybe repeating the same pattern.

456
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:42,679
Speaker 2: But I'm like, it's up to me.

457
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 4: Maybe that's what I have to do, is have a

458
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,720
Speaker 4: child to heal that relationship, you know.

459
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:51,119
Speaker 1: But she told me once, you want to have a

460
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 1: child to heal which relationship.

461
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 2: With my mom? Because I thought, if I have a girl,

462
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:57,639
Speaker 2: if I because I always wanted a boy for the

463
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,480
Speaker 2: same reason. Still now you feel that way, No, now

464
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 2: I don't.

465
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:01,119
Speaker 1: Now.

466
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,920
Speaker 4: Now I'm like, okay, look at Rioskira, whatever God wants.

467
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,919
Speaker 4: If I do have a girl, then maybe through that

468
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 4: relationship with my daughter, I can heal my relationship with

469
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:10,919
Speaker 4: my mom. And if it's a boy, then you know,

470
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:12,160
Speaker 4: now it was like I want a boy.

471
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 2: I want a boy.

472
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:14,320
Speaker 4: If not, I don't want a kiss. It was kind

473
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:17,600
Speaker 4: of like that because of the fear of the relationship

474
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,399
Speaker 4: that I had, you know, even til the end of

475
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:21,399
Speaker 4: my mom's days, you know.

476
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,240
Speaker 2: And now it's like it's crazy because we were like,

477
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:26,879
Speaker 2: we're so close, and people come and they see that

478
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:28,440
Speaker 2: you're so close to your mom and you have such

479
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:30,399
Speaker 2: an important place in her life that Kiki and Kita

480
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 2: they want to cause issues, you know, and make up

481
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,880
Speaker 2: lies and do all these things, and unfortunately things save

482
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:37,480
Speaker 2: that way. The good thing is I've gone through therapy,

483
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:39,200
Speaker 2: and I do therapy and I do self work every

484
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,840
Speaker 2: single day, so I don't carry that with me anymore.

485
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 2: I'm like, you know what, my mom and I are good,

486
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 2: So I've healed that. Now. I feel like if.

487
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,199
Speaker 4: He's the only person, my partner is the only one

488
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 4: that has made me think, okay, he'd be a great

489
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 4: father if he wants a kid and God allows it,

490
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,880
Speaker 4: I guess it's whatever is meant to happen.

491
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 2: I'm more open to it for sure. Now now I'm like,

492
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 2: you know, here here, here are my ovaries. Take them.

493
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 4: But but yeah, I mean, also, my OBG. I was

494
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:07,359
Speaker 4: some me right now that you were telling about your daughter.

495
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 2: She told me. She says, you know what, You're never

496
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 2: going to regret having a child, but you will regret

497
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 2: not having one. Yes, And I said, oh, well she

498
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:15,640
Speaker 2: told me. I was like, oh, okay, that changes things

499
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 2: a little bit.

500
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:18,120
Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, so now you're like, you know, you're

501
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 4: you're happy you had one, and you're she's in the

502
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,679
Speaker 4: world and she's your legacy.

503
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,440
Speaker 2: So I don't know, you.

504
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:25,680
Speaker 4: Know, I know this has been kind of like a

505
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:30,240
Speaker 4: heavy conversations. It's been a heavy beautiful relationship's going to.

506
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 1: Gain some way at the end of the show.

507
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 2: But I'm telling you, guys, I love I love her personality.

508
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:38,440
Speaker 4: Okay, So would you mind if we ask you, if

509
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 4: we if I ask you a few questions?

510
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:40,680
Speaker 1: Oh please?

511
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 4: I don know I've asked you quite a bit, but

512
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:47,879
Speaker 4: I mean there there's some fun ones, you know, But okay,

513
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:50,160
Speaker 4: first of all, this is just one of my personal questions.

514
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,800
Speaker 2: What what's your sign? What's your your signal?

515
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:58,680
Speaker 1: I'm a p with what was that word? I think

516
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:02,959
Speaker 1: rising my right seeing his pisces? Okay, a full on pieces?

517
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 2: You're a full on Oh wow, you're full of pieces. Nice. Okay,

518
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 2: so we have a lot in common. I'm in cancer

519
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 2: and my mom was a cancer.

520
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 1: Know much about since Yeah, I'll tell you later.

521
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 4: Okay, So since it's Valentine's Day week, let's start with this. Okay,

522
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,160
Speaker 4: what are your thoughts on the holiday? Do you celebrate it?

523
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,399
Speaker 4: Is it corner to you? Are you the type that like,

524
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 4: you know, you like to spend time by yourself, you

525
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 4: go out with your Amiga's Like, what is it that.

526
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:27,200
Speaker 2: You like doing for Valentine's Day?

527
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,679
Speaker 1: Again, we have to go into the topic of how

528
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:34,879
Speaker 1: the years go by and at our different ages. Like

529
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:38,680
Speaker 1: if there is people who are in their twenties or thirties,

530
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 1: let's talk about when I was at that age. Oh, yes,

531
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:47,160
Speaker 1: I would celebrate everything. Yeah, as the years have gone by,

532
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 1: what will I do in a couple of days in

533
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:54,440
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day? I will probably call those that I love

534
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 1: the most. There will probably be on one hand the

535
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 1: number of people I will call because most people, like

536
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 1: I mentioned before, are too busy. People have very busy lives,

537
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:12,160
Speaker 1: and in the process of their busy lives, they don't

538
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 1: have time for anyone else. And as I was growing

539
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 1: up in my thirties, my forties, my fifties, even until

540
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,639
Speaker 1: my fifties before I sold my house a couple of

541
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 1: years ago, and finally, you know, got rid of all

542
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:29,719
Speaker 1: those memories from the past, big parties, lots of people,

543
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 1: and then it's just you living in a little cubicle

544
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 1: because you have gotten older and everybody has moved on.

545
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 1: Up until then, I would celebrate all the time. I

546
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 1: would dress for the occasion. I will wear flowers, I

547
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 1: will buy flowers, I will send cards. I would call,

548
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 1: I would love, I would hug, I would kiss. Now,

549
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:55,400
Speaker 1: as you get older, nobody calls you. You don't make

550
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 1: that many more phone calls. The cards are not as

551
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 1: many that you buy. You pass by the aisles where

552
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 1: the chocolates and the hearts are, and you don't have

553
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 1: anyone to buy them for anymore. Well, when I say

554
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 1: love everyone around you, do it until the day they die.

555
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 1: Don't let them be all by themselves. Love your mothers,

556
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 1: your aunts, your grandmothers.

557
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 2: Show them there, show them, and you and everyone might agree,

558
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 2: might agree with me right now by looking at me.

559
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:43,240
Speaker 1: But wait, just wait until those twenty years go by,

560
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 1: and you'll be sitting in a chair and you'll be going, oh,

561
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 1: my goodness. I remember talking to Alita, and this is

562
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 1: what she was talking about. We don't do it because

563
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 1: we're mean people. We don't do it because you know,

564
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 1: we've been taught, Hey, you have to be like this

565
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 1: when you get to this age. No, we are always

566
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 1: we always keep that child in us. There's a commercial

567
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 1: that just came out. I'm not gonna say the name

568
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 1: of the company because I always forget anyway, but there's

569
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 1: three ladies sitting on a bench and they're in their

570
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 1: probably eighties, and they're watching all these children going down

571
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 1: the snow, sliding down the snow. And one of the

572
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:35,800
Speaker 1: ladies decides to buy some pillows to put on the

573
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 1: little I don't know, the sliding.

574
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 2: Little things that you used to go, yes, yes, the slide, yeah, yeah.

575
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 1: And you see these three ladies, three ladies in their eighties,

576
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:53,719
Speaker 1: sitting there enjoining going down the slope of this little

577
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 1: snow hill, just like when they were children.

578
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 3: Why because we always are.

579
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 1: Because that love, that desire, that the want to have

580
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,880
Speaker 1: fun and be loving and show the world. And what

581
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:11,120
Speaker 1: do you see when they get to the bottom.

582
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:15,120
Speaker 3: Oh they're smiling. How they're feeling that lung?

583
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:20,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, killing their inner child? Oh yeah, yeah, but don't

584
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 2: make me cry anymore. Oh, I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

585
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.

586
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 4: Okay, Well, I mean yeah, I think I think even

587
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 4: like getting I always say this too on the podcast,

588
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:31,520
Speaker 4: I'm like, you know what, even if you don't have

589
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 4: a partner, you know, go and whatever it is that

590
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 4: makes you happy. Maybe that's what you're you know, you're

591
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:37,520
Speaker 4: gonna wake up that and see how you feel. If

592
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 4: you want to go to lunch, if you want to

593
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,280
Speaker 4: take a bath, if you want to cover my house,

594
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:41,160
Speaker 4: whatever you want to do.

595
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 2: On Valantine, did you let me know.

596
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 1: What's her address? Just write it down from it?

597
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 2: Yeah? Okay, yes, yes, please write it down. Okay, okay.

598
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:55,240
Speaker 4: Next question for those in a long in long term relationships,

599
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 4: do you have any advice on how to spice it up?

600
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 2: You know what? If? Well, how long was your longest marriage?

601
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 1: That's a very good question. Let's see. Let me backtrack here.

602
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 1: The longest was my last one. Okay, it was eleven

603
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 1: years and they were amazing. Yeah, they were amazing. We

604
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 1: had a lot, a lot of fun. I continue to

605
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 1: be very young through those years. If you get to

606
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:29,480
Speaker 1: a point in your relationship where you have to start

607
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 1: thinking about how to spice it up, you've already screwed up.

608
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 2: Ok Okay, sure, no, we need to keep it spicy,

609
00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 2: but in both ways, right, not just the woman. Okay,

610
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:48,840
Speaker 2: cool this man out there, Oh no, senor is you have.

611
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:51,959
Speaker 1: To you have to show your queen who she is.

612
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:57,400
Speaker 1: You have to treat her as such. We've done enough

613
00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 1: damage to this cultural baggage thing. It's move on and

614
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 1: just love them.

615
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, this machismo thing of like no, you know, yes,

616
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 4: that is so, and it has to be both ways.

617
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 4: Like I said, you know, women conquistar romance are men.

618
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 4: As I was trying to find the word in my head, okay,

619
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 4: and I always that's and that's that's another thing that

620
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,800
Speaker 4: as women, we want men to know exactly what we

621
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 4: want and how we what we want. The truth is

622
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 4: we need to tell them. We need to let them

623
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,600
Speaker 4: know what we expect, what we like. Hey, bring me chocolates,

624
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 4: I like flowers. I like this conquista. We also have

625
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 4: to communicate, you know, so just a little.

626
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 1: That's my even and I think we were just talking.

627
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 1: There was a conversation going on today that even if

628
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 1: you go on a first date and at the beginning

629
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 1: of the night you both have this idea of where

630
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:54,480
Speaker 1: it should go, talk about it. Yes, mention it, communicate,

631
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,120
Speaker 1: communicate even from the very beginning, so that at the

632
00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 1: end of the day you don't go, oh is that

633
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 1: how you felt? Oh is that what you thought? Because no,

634
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 1: we need to talk about it. Yes, I messed up something.

635
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 1: I actually went out last night and there was a

636
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 1: very good looking younger man than me but closer to

637
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 1: my age next to me at the barket trying to

638
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:19,080
Speaker 1: get a drink, And for like the few minutes that

639
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:21,840
Speaker 1: he was there, I was like, Okay, in my mind, okay,

640
00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 1: you're cute. And he's looking at me like okay, you're cute,

641
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:28,399
Speaker 1: and let's get a drink. Why don't you get a drink?

642
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:30,400
Speaker 1: Why don't we take a picture? And we do, and

643
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:33,399
Speaker 1: then he leaves and I'm like, I messed that up.

644
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:39,160
Speaker 4: Hey, here's my number? Oho, what is leana drink at

645
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:40,880
Speaker 4: a bar? I want to know what's your drink, what's

646
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:42,719
Speaker 4: your go to drink?

647
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:47,360
Speaker 1: Actually, I have stopped drinking. Oh, okay, during the beginning

648
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:53,080
Speaker 1: of January this year, a year already, I became a vegetarian.

649
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 1: Oh for her health purposes, Okay, I wanted to make

650
00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:01,000
Speaker 1: sure that I live a lot longer, and I decided

651
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 1: that coffee is now my drink of choice. Okay, and

652
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:09,080
Speaker 1: once in a while, maybe just a tiny little bit

653
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 1: of vodka with some cranberry juice.

654
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 2: Okay, that's about and that's about it.

655
00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:14,760
Speaker 1: But I feel so much likely.

656
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:19,759
Speaker 2: M girl. I know I've been thinking about that. It's

657
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:20,799
Speaker 2: like my long term goal.

658
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,879
Speaker 4: I love tequila, but I'm just like, yeah, I'm gonna

659
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:27,400
Speaker 4: cleanse Okay, you got to cleanse it out. But but

660
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,359
Speaker 4: I I just it's part of my shows, it's part

661
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 4: of my culture, our culture, you know.

662
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:34,839
Speaker 2: But I do want to hopefully want to that is.

663
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:39,320
Speaker 1: My alcoholic baggage.

664
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:43,279
Speaker 2: Kidding, but but yeah, I mean I commend you for that.

665
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 4: That's admirable because that's honestly one of my desires is

666
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,400
Speaker 4: to be vegetarian and not drink any alcohol at all.

667
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 2: So okay, I want to ask you said you were

668
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 2: at a bar so I was like, I wonder what

669
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 2: she drinks.

670
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,280
Speaker 1: Well, you know, the one thing that I truly believe

671
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:56,759
Speaker 1: in is willpower.

672
00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:58,319
Speaker 2: Mm hmm big time.

673
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 1: And willpower is very hard to have and.

674
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,640
Speaker 4: Keep yup and keep As we get older, I've noticed

675
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 4: it's harder and harder. But will part that's something I

676
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:08,640
Speaker 4: love to do. That's why I do these cleanses. I

677
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:11,919
Speaker 4: like to challenge myself, my body, my mind. So that's

678
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:14,319
Speaker 4: one thing that I feel has been lost as well

679
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,440
Speaker 4: besides love. It's like I don't want to challenge one

680
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 4: everything easy. We want that magic pill that's gonna make

681
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 4: us everything just so easy and fast. So that's awesome. Willpower.

682
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:23,879
Speaker 1: I'm so glad it's willpower.

683
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:24,360
Speaker 2: Willpower.

684
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 1: That's one thing that I can say I have a

685
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 1: lot of. And I think that willpower is also what

686
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 1: helped me make it through each relationship because I might

687
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 1: have been married five times, but I also did a

688
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:37,720
Speaker 1: lot of dating in between.

689
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 3: What can I tell?

690
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 1: What can I tell you that I am fourteen years behind?

691
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 1: So number six.

692
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:47,320
Speaker 3: Move right along?

693
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, I keep insisting.

694
00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:53,520
Speaker 4: Okay, so I have a great question and talk about

695
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:56,920
Speaker 4: this now a partner Number six, Okay, just if someone's watching.

696
00:36:57,800 --> 00:36:59,400
Speaker 4: What qualities make a good partner?

697
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 1: Oh, kindness, kindness, humility.

698
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:08,839
Speaker 4: Is it important that he believes in God as well

699
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 4: or has your same faith?

700
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,759
Speaker 1: Yes, he has to believe in God. He has to

701
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:16,400
Speaker 1: have some form of faith, you know, to keep on going.

702
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,080
Speaker 1: It's so hard to hold onto it. But and he's

703
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,920
Speaker 1: got to have a little bit of good looks. I mean,

704
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 1: I gotta have something good to look at. I'm giving

705
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 1: him my back.

706
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and a good package of money. And I'm.

707
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,400
Speaker 1: I didn't know where she was going with that joking.

708
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 2: Pablo's over there, like.

709
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 1: What money is? What we're talking about? Money?

710
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 2: Yes? Money, Okay, I'm just kidding. No, you guys, I'm not.

711
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:42,160
Speaker 2: I'm not. Honestly, I'm not that type of girl. I'm

712
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:46,480
Speaker 2: not like a gold digger. Because I agree with you,

713
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 2: I need a man.

714
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:50,960
Speaker 4: Then, also, how to communicate that is kind Kindness goes,

715
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:54,480
Speaker 4: That's a part of your character, you know when someone's kind,

716
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:58,560
Speaker 4: like when how they treat other people, you know, I

717
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:00,719
Speaker 4: just little things like that. I am very observant, so

718
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 4: kindness is huge, huge, and of course faith for me. Okay,

719
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:10,880
Speaker 4: So we have another question. Are you four or against situationships? Like,

720
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:12,480
Speaker 4: what are the pros and the cons there? What do

721
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:12,880
Speaker 4: you think?

722
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 1: What do you mean by that?

723
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:18,320
Speaker 4: A situation ship? So a situationship is a friend with benefits.

724
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 4: I don't have a relationship, but I have a situationship.

725
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:24,480
Speaker 4: We we well, there's no title, we just you know.

726
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 1: Is that what it's called?

727
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 3: Now?

728
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,920
Speaker 4: It's a situationship and it's a huge thing. Or or

729
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:31,560
Speaker 4: my sneaky link, your sneaky link?

730
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:35,920
Speaker 2: Do you have a sneaky link? Leana? Oh, I wish

731
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:39,479
Speaker 2: I had to ask. I'll find you and I'm just kidding,

732
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 2: you know.

733
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,760
Speaker 1: Wow, who's coming up with these words?

734
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 2: I don't know, But that's that's nuship situations.

735
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:54,360
Speaker 1: No, I had the opportunity to have one, maybe a

736
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:58,560
Speaker 1: couple of years ago, with a much younger man. Again

737
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:00,120
Speaker 1: because younger man look for me.

738
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:02,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you have a very young spirit for sure.

739
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:07,319
Speaker 1: Yeah. But no, no, no, no, I wouldn't want to

740
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 1: at this point. No, hell, I don't have time for

741
00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:13,040
Speaker 1: situationships situations. You know what, if I died next year,

742
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:17,440
Speaker 1: I want the one yearship, a one yearship, whatever life

743
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:19,280
Speaker 1: ship comes my way.

744
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:22,160
Speaker 2: I like that. She likes live ships, for instance.

745
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:25,759
Speaker 4: Do you feel that or have you learned from your

746
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:29,759
Speaker 4: own experiences that having someone just to have sex with,

747
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 4: Let's just put it the way it is.

748
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:32,320
Speaker 2: It's like you.

749
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:36,400
Speaker 4: For me, I've learned, I think that just giving yourself

750
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:39,440
Speaker 4: to someone sexually, it's just you're exchanging energy.

751
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:42,279
Speaker 2: Like I don't. I can't. I can't have.

752
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:43,840
Speaker 4: Just sex to have sex, like, I have to have

753
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:46,640
Speaker 4: some type of feeling, you know, situations I wouldn't work

754
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 4: for me personally because I and I've told my friend

755
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:50,920
Speaker 4: this and I'm not gonna say who, but I told her,

756
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:52,000
Speaker 4: I said, you know what, I think you need to

757
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 4: stop having sex with these random guys. You know, it's

758
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 4: it's you're not allowing God in the universe to bring

759
00:39:57,080 --> 00:40:00,120
Speaker 4: in the right person because God and the universe, so

760
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,840
Speaker 4: whatever you want to call it, thinks you're busy because

761
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 4: you are exchanging energy.

762
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:08,360
Speaker 2: Just chill, use your vibrator. Okay.

763
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 1: Sorry, Like I say, I have a lot of sex.

764
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 1: There's just nobody there.

765
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 2: I love you. Yes, I'm not friend.

766
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:20,000
Speaker 4: I'm not friend that. I'm like, look, i'd rather you

767
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:24,120
Speaker 4: save that and use this. I'm the friend that's going

768
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 4: to give you a vibrator because I'm like, you know

769
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 4: what this is safer. This is safer for your feelings,

770
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:31,759
Speaker 4: and don't catch anything. It's just better in every way.

771
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:34,400
Speaker 4: Just use this thing. So anyways, we got into a

772
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 4: whole other conversation. But that's what she thinks on situations.

773
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 2: Okay, I love it.

774
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, they should know people. That's why

775
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 1: people are not loving each other. Yeah, because they're too busy.

776
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:46,560
Speaker 1: Just one moment here, one moment there.

777
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:46,839
Speaker 2: Yeah.

778
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:52,560
Speaker 1: Now, how many situations ships that one person have? And

779
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 1: how do you know or not know that these are

780
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:58,200
Speaker 1: going on? And does it not bother.

781
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:00,400
Speaker 2: You that you might not be the only one?

782
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 1: Yeah? How about diseases and things like that? How about no?

783
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:09,120
Speaker 4: Yes, no on a situation? She doesn't like them. I honestly,

784
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:10,600
Speaker 4: it's too too much.

785
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:13,160
Speaker 1: And I'm with you now, I'm understanding the cancer prices

786
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 1: link here. We have to have that feeling.

787
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 2: Ah for sure, that I loving feeling.

788
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:19,879
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm like I need to be attracted. I need

789
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:21,719
Speaker 4: to feel that you want me. I need to just

790
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:23,600
Speaker 4: feel it. Okay, So I have one more.

791
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:27,839
Speaker 2: Question for you, Only only one more. It's okay though,

792
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 2: because I've had such a great time with you.

793
00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:32,400
Speaker 4: I feel like we've only been here for like fifteen minutes. Okay,

794
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 4: so what's your best advice on getting over an X?

795
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:40,000
Speaker 4: Listen up, guys, Okay, what's your best advice on that?

796
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:41,800
Speaker 3: Okay, that's your advice.

797
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:49,799
Speaker 1: Remember to look in the mirror and just love yourself

798
00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:54,239
Speaker 1: when that person when you have a breakup, and I

799
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:59,040
Speaker 1: can tell you after each breakup, yes, and I'm talking

800
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 1: not only a breakup of a relationship with a man.

801
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:05,880
Speaker 1: I'm talking about a friendship with a woman. I'm talking

802
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:10,240
Speaker 1: about a relationship with one of your parents, or your siblings,

803
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 1: or even your children. In order to continue with that,

804
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:17,280
Speaker 1: you have to be number one, very honest with yourself,

805
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:22,399
Speaker 1: love yourself, look in the mirror the very next day,

806
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:25,840
Speaker 1: and go, I gave it my all. But you have

807
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:29,359
Speaker 1: to absolutely be sure that you gave it your all,

808
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 1: because I'm gonna tell you, like it or not, I

809
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 1: gave each marriage and each relationship my very best. I

810
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:40,759
Speaker 1: loved them. I might have not been too smart about it.

811
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:45,200
Speaker 1: I might have made a lot of mistakes and silly choices,

812
00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:47,920
Speaker 1: but in my heart of hearts, I gave it my

813
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 1: all and I love them.

814
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:51,160
Speaker 3: The best way that I could.

815
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:54,880
Speaker 1: But I wasn't loved back the same way. So you

816
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:55,920
Speaker 1: have to let them go.

817
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:59,840
Speaker 2: I think that cant. It's not easy, but it's possible.

818
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:04,880
Speaker 4: Know that you know what, This too shall pass.

819
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 1: And remember that the new relationship has nothing to do

820
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 1: with the old one. Nothing, not your past experiences, not

821
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,760
Speaker 1: the mistakes that you made, not even the silly thoughts

822
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:20,319
Speaker 1: that run in your mind every single day about the

823
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 1: mistakes from the past. When you have someone new in

824
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:28,080
Speaker 1: your life, you give them that a that advice. Absolutely,

825
00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:31,400
Speaker 1: do it all, do it all all over and beautiful.

826
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:35,759
Speaker 1: And my best advice to you is love this relationship

827
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:39,920
Speaker 1: that you are in because it makes you so light

828
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:45,120
Speaker 1: and airy and bright. Your eyes shine and your smile

829
00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:48,880
Speaker 1: is so pretty. And you're just thinking about it and

830
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:53,359
Speaker 1: I don't know him and I just met you. But

831
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:56,640
Speaker 1: open up your heart, open up your mind, and he

832
00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:57,399
Speaker 1: will do the same.

833
00:43:57,480 --> 00:43:58,400
Speaker 3: He already.

834
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:01,800
Speaker 1: And I want them by the wedding.

835
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,680
Speaker 4: It's absolutely it's you guys heard it here and she

836
00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:05,960
Speaker 4: given a chill, It's gonna happen.

837
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 2: Oh no, thank you so much. That means a lot

838
00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:10,920
Speaker 2: to me. I love giving. I love hearing.

839
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:13,120
Speaker 4: Should I say I love hearing that that that advice

840
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 4: from from you from like now, I haven't Alita, appreciate

841
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:17,879
Speaker 4: you have.

842
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 1: Me as you're Alita, my number anytime you want, you know,

843
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 1: I say this all anytime if you have a moment

844
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:29,080
Speaker 1: when you have you just want to cry and you

845
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:30,719
Speaker 1: just go, hey, Lily, listen up.

846
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:31,759
Speaker 3: That's all.

847
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:33,880
Speaker 1: I will be there just to listen to your tears,

848
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:36,759
Speaker 1: just to listen to one word you have to say.

849
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:39,760
Speaker 1: I want people to think of me as there are, Alita.

850
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:44,840
Speaker 1: I want people to help me live through them, to

851
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 1: help me give them a little bit of of the

852
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:52,640
Speaker 1: loving advice that I never got because I would have been.

853
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:55,640
Speaker 2: But look once, You're amazing. Thank you so much.

854
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:58,640
Speaker 1: Yes, you are amazing.

855
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 4: It was a as it was a beautiful, beautiful conversation,

856
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 4: and I'm so grateful that we were able to talk

857
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:07,399
Speaker 4: about this. It's such an important subject, you know, love,

858
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:11,760
Speaker 4: So you guys remember be loved based Okay, always open

859
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:12,520
Speaker 4: your heart to love.

860
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:15,080
Speaker 2: That's the best way to live. Don't give up all love.

861
00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:18,280
Speaker 4: Like Lily said, you know, to get over your ex,

862
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:20,680
Speaker 4: you just look within and say.

863
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 2: You know, what can I have done different? What can

864
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 2: I do better? And that always helps.

865
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:28,560
Speaker 4: You're like, okay, cool, it didn't work here forgive that

866
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 4: person so you can move on. And I love what

867
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 4: you said about giving yourself, your newness to that new person.

868
00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:37,480
Speaker 4: You know they should not suffer because of your past.

869
00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:38,759
Speaker 4: So that's another thing.

870
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:41,719
Speaker 1: And I remember that if you're holding on to that

871
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 1: relationship you just broke up, but you're holding on to

872
00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:48,200
Speaker 1: that pain, to that resentment, And all that God is

873
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:51,960
Speaker 1: saying to you is I have someone new that you

874
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:52,959
Speaker 1: got to clear that slave.

875
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:54,839
Speaker 4: You got to say, you gotta clear it, You gotta

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00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:56,120
Speaker 4: let go of that baggage so.

877
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 1: I can bring him down.

878
00:45:57,320 --> 00:46:01,520
Speaker 4: Yes, thank you, you're such your so pleasant and thank

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00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 4: you guys for watching and listening to another episode of

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00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:05,840
Speaker 4: Cheekys and Chill and I will see you guys on

881
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:16,240
Speaker 4: the next one. Do you need advice on love, relationships,

882
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:19,680
Speaker 4: health emails? I'm so excited to share with you that

883
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 4: my Cheekys and Chill podcast will have an extra episode

884
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:23,720
Speaker 4: drop each week.

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00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 2: I'll be answering all your questions.

886
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:31,719
Speaker 4: Just leave me a voice message person a Monday. All

887
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:33,839
Speaker 4: you have to do is go to speak pipe dot

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00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 4: com slash Cheeky's and Chill podcast and record your questions.

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00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:38,320
Speaker 2: I can't wait to hear from you.

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00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:43,480
Speaker 4: This is a production of iHeartRadio and mike Wa podcast Network.

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00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:47,640
Speaker 4: Follow us on Instagram at Miketura Podcasts and follow me

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00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:51,400
Speaker 4: Cheeky's That's c h i q u y s. For

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00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:56,200
Speaker 4: more podcasts, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

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00:46:56,280 --> 00:47:03,640
Speaker 4: you listen to your favorite shows.