WEBVTT - The Fifth Hour: The Doc Returns & the Con Continues 0:00:00.680 --> 0:00:01.440 Kubbooms. 0:00:02.279 --> 0:00:05.360 If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes 0:00:05.400 --> 0:00:09.160 a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants 0:00:09.160 --> 0:00:12.480 of the old Republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He 0:00:12.560 --> 0:00:15.480 treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the 0:00:15.600 --> 0:00:17.439 rich pill poppers in the penthouse. 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:18.360 Wow. 0:00:18.560 --> 0:00:22.280 The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. 0:00:22.640 --> 0:00:29.400 The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now. 0:00:28.920 --> 0:00:35.280 In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with me Ben Maler, 0:00:35.920 --> 0:00:40.160 Hello and Danny g Radio. A Happy Friday to year, 0:00:40.200 --> 0:00:44.880 the twelfth day of September. As we are one game 0:00:44.960 --> 0:00:49.000 in two week number two, week number two of the 0:00:49.080 --> 0:00:52.400 NFL season of the Packers and the Commanders last night, 0:00:52.880 --> 0:00:56.520 and now you have a full weekend of the Fifth Hour, 0:00:57.040 --> 0:00:59.800 and we kick it off right now on this edition 0:00:59.840 --> 0:01:05.000 the Friday Special, after a very long overnight show, The 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:12.039 Friday Special. We've got bugs, Bunny Truman, and possibly some 0:01:12.200 --> 0:01:15.120 other things. But we're gonna begin with this. So, as 0:01:15.120 --> 0:01:19.679 you know, the Fifth Hour a tribute to the Overnight Show. 0:01:19.720 --> 0:01:22.759 Let me talk about whatever pops up in the head 0:01:22.800 --> 0:01:25.000 that I have on top of my body here. So 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:29.200 the text arrived the other day. It was during the 0:01:29.319 --> 0:01:33.720 radio show and the text said are you on the radio? 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:36.160 Which I thought was odd because I was literally doing 0:01:36.200 --> 0:01:38.720 the show. It was like midway through the show and 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:41.960 the text came in, are you on the radio? And 0:01:42.000 --> 0:01:46.840 so I wrote back, yes, I'm on the radio, and 0:01:46.880 --> 0:01:52.760 then silence, and minutes later, the call screening board in 0:01:52.800 --> 0:01:55.760 my computer lit up. Now, they keep the studio usually 0:01:55.760 --> 0:01:59.640 pretty dark, except when we're recording the YouTube videos, so 0:02:01.120 --> 0:02:02.960 the callboard lights up. Now. I had a bunch of 0:02:03.000 --> 0:02:06.280 other calls and then I see the name and it 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:10.920 starts flashing on my left hand side. I see the name, 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:14.000 and there's the city the callers from. It's from Chicago. 0:02:14.560 --> 0:02:18.840 Callers from Chicago, and not just any caller. This is 0:02:18.880 --> 0:02:22.240 not just your run of the mill radio caller. If 0:02:22.240 --> 0:02:26.120 you missed it. This week we had the glorious return 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:31.639 of Doc Mike. Doc Mike popped up out of nowhere. 0:02:31.760 --> 0:02:34.119 He is back, well, he was back for one day. 0:02:34.160 --> 0:02:38.040 He called the show the other night. Now his first 0:02:38.040 --> 0:02:40.000 call and much. I actually got some email from people 0:02:40.560 --> 0:02:43.440 who have listened to the show for a very brief 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:45.480 amount of time and they're like, tell me more about 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:49.359 this guy, Doc Mike, and so rather than right back 0:02:49.360 --> 0:02:51.120 to people, because I'm very bad about that. If you've 0:02:51.120 --> 0:02:53.359 emailed me, I probably haven't written back. Bad job by me. 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:56.160 I'm a schmuck. So I said, rather than right back 0:02:56.160 --> 0:03:00.280 to these people, I will use my platform, the pie 0:03:00.280 --> 0:03:03.359 pulpit here on the fifth hour, and I will reminisce 0:03:03.960 --> 0:03:07.560 about the caller known as Doc Mike. So Doc did 0:03:07.600 --> 0:03:09.280 return to the show. He called for the first time 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:13.079 in probably five six months, maybe longer than that. It 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:15.320 seemed like it had been years. Seemed like it had 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:20.560 been years. I'm going to decapitate a goat, let's do it. 0:03:20.560 --> 0:03:23.359 It felt like, Hey, I was running into an old friend. 0:03:24.160 --> 0:03:25.919 You everyone into somebody at the grocery store or something 0:03:25.960 --> 0:03:27.600 like that. He sah, look at that. I didn't know 0:03:27.639 --> 0:03:29.480 you were still around. Yeah, I didn't know you were 0:03:29.480 --> 0:03:32.440 around either. And it's like the old friend, the one 0:03:32.480 --> 0:03:38.280 who always has a story, that really good storyteller, And 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:42.760 in this case, this is our friend that's got stories 0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:49.480 that are half brilliant, half insane, and completely unforgettable, completely unforgettable. 0:03:49.520 --> 0:03:51.760 That is Doc Mike in a nutshell. He's not just 0:03:51.840 --> 0:03:56.840 a radio caller, he's a headline. He's also a Hasmad 0:03:56.920 --> 0:04:00.840 alert as you're gonna learn if you've don't know that story. 0:04:01.320 --> 0:04:04.840 And he's the reason, one of the reasons that sports 0:04:04.920 --> 0:04:08.240 radio is never just about the sports. Now, we learned 0:04:08.320 --> 0:04:12.360 during the pandemic years ago, that's not really about the sports. 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:14.960 It's not We had the most listeners we've ever had 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:18.240 to Fox Sports Radio when there were no baseball games, 0:04:18.400 --> 0:04:21.760 there was no NBA playoff games, there was no sports. 0:04:22.120 --> 0:04:24.159 We had more people listening in the middle of the 0:04:24.200 --> 0:04:29.080 pandemic than we've ever had since or before. I mean, 0:04:29.120 --> 0:04:32.159 it was insane. So many of you have been with 0:04:32.240 --> 0:04:36.400 me on this audio journey out into the twilight Zone, 0:04:37.800 --> 0:04:40.360 and so some of you know these stories. But for 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:43.080 those that are new, and we love that there are 0:04:43.080 --> 0:04:44.760 new people that find the show because they end up 0:04:44.760 --> 0:04:46.760 working the dreaded overnight shift. All I say it's the 0:04:46.800 --> 0:04:48.680 dreaded day shift. For them, they say it's the dreaded 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:52.360 overnight shift. So you know the Goadhead story. I think 0:04:52.400 --> 0:04:55.560 everyone does. I mentioned it briefly the other day. He 0:04:56.400 --> 0:04:58.760 left one at Wrigley Field. He's actually done this a 0:04:58.760 --> 0:05:03.680 couple of times. Doc Mike, the Mayor of Chicago. One 0:05:03.680 --> 0:05:06.560 of the great stories as long as I'm around, I'll 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:08.800 remember this, and when I died, that'll be it. But 0:05:09.560 --> 0:05:13.400 the Mayor of Chicago, Rama Manuel, at the time, the 0:05:14.040 --> 0:05:18.080 cub head, our goathead knocked was dropped off. They knocked 0:05:18.080 --> 0:05:21.320 on the cub's offices, dropped off this goathead, right, So 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:24.320 the story was and the cub game got rained out 0:05:24.360 --> 0:05:26.200 that day, so there was no story, and so the 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:30.200 media latched on to the goatthead. The mayor of Chicago 0:05:30.520 --> 0:05:33.120 at the time, Ram Emmanuel, comes out and says that 0:05:33.240 --> 0:05:37.320 all police resources would be used to find out whoever 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:40.160 did it. They wanted to get to the bottom of it. 0:05:40.160 --> 0:05:42.880 They didn't treat it like some prank. They were very upset. 0:05:43.839 --> 0:05:47.080 So think about that a goat heead in a box 0:05:47.400 --> 0:05:50.640 created the same level of urgency for the city of 0:05:50.720 --> 0:05:55.279 Chicago as a citywide manhunt. How ridiculous is that? And 0:05:55.360 --> 0:05:57.920 my favorite part of that story is that Doc Mike 0:05:58.120 --> 0:06:02.360 was kind enough to call me up as he was 0:06:02.520 --> 0:06:07.440 arriving at Iconic Wrigley Field, Chicago, and he had his 0:06:07.520 --> 0:06:11.480 phone and he was doing play by play. He saw Ben, 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:14.440 I got the goathhead. I'm going to go here. He's 0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:17.159 describing where he's dropping the goat head off. He's doing 0:06:17.160 --> 0:06:21.560 play by play as this is going on. So juxtapose 0:06:21.680 --> 0:06:24.320 that I'm playing back this message because I was sleeping 0:06:24.320 --> 0:06:27.159 when he sent it. It was early in the morning 0:06:27.160 --> 0:06:29.400 in Chicago. Cubs were playing a day game. I think 0:06:29.440 --> 0:06:32.720 they're playing at Giants. So I'm hearing this, and then 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:35.200 I'm seeing on the internet. I'm seeing the Mayor of 0:06:35.279 --> 0:06:38.440 Chicago say, hey, we got to find who did this. 0:06:39.160 --> 0:06:42.440 And it was the funniest thing. I still chuckle about it. 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:45.359 And then there's the time that Doc Mike decided that 0:06:45.520 --> 0:06:48.240 I needed a goat head and he mailed me a 0:06:48.880 --> 0:06:52.279 goat actually mail a couple, and there was a problem 0:06:52.360 --> 0:06:54.919 with one of them send it to the Fox Sports 0:06:55.040 --> 0:07:02.560 radio studios. Now one famously leaked blood through the packaging, 0:07:03.360 --> 0:07:06.680 and this created a very tent situation in the mail room. 0:07:06.720 --> 0:07:09.480 They didn't know what's in the box. They had no 0:07:09.600 --> 0:07:12.280 idea what was in the box, so this became a 0:07:12.440 --> 0:07:17.640 hazmat situation. I get yelled at. People are screaming at 0:07:17.640 --> 0:07:20.240 me and management. Management's changed. They were screaming, what are 0:07:20.280 --> 0:07:22.600 you doing. You can't be having this, Senor. I didn't 0:07:22.600 --> 0:07:24.400 tell them to send it. You can't be having this 0:07:24.440 --> 0:07:28.480 stuff center. I'm not in control of the United States 0:07:28.520 --> 0:07:31.680 Postal Service. I cannot stop someone from sending something to me. 0:07:31.880 --> 0:07:34.600 You shouldn't have people send this stuff here. I understand, 0:07:34.600 --> 0:07:36.760 but I didn't tell the person to send it. They 0:07:36.840 --> 0:07:39.160 chose to send it. You can't send it here. I 0:07:39.240 --> 0:07:42.240 know that, but I told you I someone can mail 0:07:42.280 --> 0:07:45.679 me something all they want. It's not illegal to mail 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:50.360 something unless it's a hazard. Anyway, we went back and forth, 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:54.880 and as a result, I was banned embargoed to everyone 0:07:55.000 --> 0:07:58.600 say I could not receive mail. I believe it was 0:07:58.640 --> 0:08:01.160 like six months. They would not not receive any mail. 0:08:01.200 --> 0:08:03.840 He just returned all mail that was sent to me 0:08:04.360 --> 0:08:08.920 as an active protest. Now Doc mailed, as we say, 0:08:09.360 --> 0:08:14.160 several goattheads in that whole thing. Miranda Marino was my producer. 0:08:14.240 --> 0:08:17.280 She got a GoAhead, which she didn't want at the time. 0:08:18.080 --> 0:08:23.120 Another fun factoried about Doc Mike. Every presidential election since 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:26.360 twenty zero four, so we are over twenty years. Doc 0:08:26.440 --> 0:08:29.640 Mike has run for president one of these fringe parties 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:32.080 that gets no votes. So Doc Mike has run for 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:35.839 president and he's always been kind enough to include me 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:40.720 as his vice presidential candidate. You see, there's no caucus. 0:08:40.960 --> 0:08:43.800 When Doc Mike decides to run for president, he just 0:08:44.000 --> 0:08:48.400 does it. Unfortunately, we never picked up any votes. That's 0:08:48.440 --> 0:08:50.600 not true. We did get some votes people would send me. 0:08:51.520 --> 0:08:55.439 It was like twenty oh eight. I vaguely remember people 0:08:55.480 --> 0:08:58.800 sending me photos they were in the ballot box and 0:08:58.840 --> 0:09:01.319 they wrote they wrote in Mike and Ben Maller in 0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:04.400 the Battle of Box. I thought, well, that's both wonderful 0:09:04.480 --> 0:09:08.720 and horrific at the same time. So then there was 0:09:08.760 --> 0:09:13.960 the Cansa City story. Doc big fan of the show, 0:09:14.040 --> 0:09:18.280 drove down from Chicago to Kansas City. Not that bad 0:09:18.320 --> 0:09:21.920 a drive, but still a decent trip. And he shows 0:09:22.000 --> 0:09:25.000 up to the Malar Meet and greet and he sets 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:28.520 up his own table. Now this is a Malar branded 0:09:28.559 --> 0:09:30.559 meet and greet, this is not a Doc Mike meet 0:09:30.600 --> 0:09:33.040 and greet. So he shows up there, He's got a 0:09:33.080 --> 0:09:37.360 table in the back. He puts a stack of T 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:40.840 shirts out with his face on it, and then he 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:44.000 starts signing autographs and giving medical advice to people that 0:09:44.040 --> 0:09:47.120 were there to eat chicken fingers. And it's like, bugs, Bunny, 0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:47.679 what's up? 0:09:47.800 --> 0:09:48.120 Doc? 0:09:48.800 --> 0:09:52.720 It's like Doc Mike made himself the headliner at someone 0:09:52.720 --> 0:09:55.640 else's party. Who does that, Doc Mike, That's who does that. 0:09:55.720 --> 0:09:59.760 Doc Mike's the one that does that. Now, later outside 0:09:59.840 --> 0:10:02.000 the the event had ended. I was preparing to leave. 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:05.160 The event had come to a close, and I'm not 0:10:05.200 --> 0:10:07.520 familiar with Kansas City. I don't know where the good 0:10:07.559 --> 0:10:09.560 part in the bad part are. I can kind of 0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:11.360 tell when you drive around. This looks better. This is 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:13.400 probably the good part. That doesn't look so good. That 0:10:13.480 --> 0:10:15.720 must be the hard scrabble streets, but you don't really know. 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:18.640 And the restaurant, which was not the landing, It was 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:21.040 the restaurant before the landing, which is we're not going 0:10:21.080 --> 0:10:22.400 to give them a plug because they don't have the 0:10:22.400 --> 0:10:25.800 food anymore, the ben Maler chicken fingers. So go out. 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:28.840 It was nighttime and it was another nice, warm Kansas 0:10:28.880 --> 0:10:32.400 City night, one hundred degrees with seven hundred degree humidity, 0:10:33.760 --> 0:10:37.200 seven hundred percent whatever humidity. So I go out the 0:10:37.320 --> 0:10:40.439 dark street at night, getting ready to leave, and Doc says, hey, 0:10:41.080 --> 0:10:44.840 I want to show you something. Okay, So I am 0:10:44.960 --> 0:10:47.640 with my wife, my then girlfriend, she is with me, 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:52.959 and Dox says, give me a sack. He then goes 0:10:53.720 --> 0:10:58.840 into his glove box, and in the glove box he 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:00.640 grabs something I didn't know what. I'm not sure what 0:11:00.679 --> 0:11:04.160 it was. He then walks back out again the street 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:06.640 starked as a little bit of a street lamp kind 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:08.600 of gleaning on the face of Doc Mike. And then 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:12.040 he opened his right eye a little bit and it 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:16.240 had this like sparkle, and he puts his other hand 0:11:16.320 --> 0:11:19.640 in the air and he's got a screwdriver. He's holding 0:11:19.720 --> 0:11:23.680 up a screwdriver. And in that moment, I thought, this 0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:28.040 is it. I'm going to be murdered by my most 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:34.800 dedicated listener. But no, it turns out that Doc Mike 0:11:34.960 --> 0:11:39.600 just wanted to give me the license plate literally off 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:43.559 of his car, literally off of his car, a souvenir 0:11:43.840 --> 0:11:48.080 Doc Mike license plate, and he did. He just took 0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:50.320 it off the car and said, here you go. And 0:11:50.360 --> 0:11:52.160 he had some trouble futzing around trying to get the 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:54.920 license plate off the car, and then he autographed he 0:11:55.040 --> 0:11:57.000 signed it. I still have it, believe it or not. 0:11:57.040 --> 0:11:58.960 I still have that item. There's a couple of license 0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:01.160 plates I have. I have the one from Doc Mike, 0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:03.440 and there was a gentleman from Florida who I've been 0:12:03.480 --> 0:12:06.640 asked not to name because he's a lifetime member of 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:09.960 the country club in Florida. And this guy, big fan 0:12:10.320 --> 0:12:12.160 of the Ben Maler Show, used to listen all the time. 0:12:12.200 --> 0:12:16.400 I haven't heard from much anymore anymore because it's hard 0:12:16.440 --> 0:12:18.440 to contact people when you're in prison. Costs a lot 0:12:18.440 --> 0:12:21.280 of money to send those letters. Anyway, back then, it 0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:24.080 did anyone. I don't know it's like now. So he 0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:28.120 was deputized. That's probably not the right word. But his 0:12:28.240 --> 0:12:31.080 job in prison was to make license plates, and so 0:12:31.480 --> 0:12:34.520 he made a Florida license plate with my name on it. Now, 0:12:34.520 --> 0:12:37.760 that part is one thing. The next part is you're 0:12:37.760 --> 0:12:39.360 not allowed to do that. How do you get it 0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:42.120 out of the prison. I still don't know how he 0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:44.120 got it out of the prison, but I did receive 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:46.120 it in the mail. So I have a Doc Mike 0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:50.000 license plate and a my name license plate. It's pretty funny. 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:54.840 It's a Florida plate and it's as amateur radio on it, 0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:56.439 which is really a tribute to my dad as well 0:12:56.440 --> 0:13:00.000 as Big Ham radio operator. So you don't forget stuff 0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:02.160 like this. You just don't back to the Doc Mike 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:06.720 angle to it. So let's flash way back, way way 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:11.000 back during the pandemic. So Doc Mike somehow became the 0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:14.120 producer of the Ben mathershw No, we really don't have 0:13:14.160 --> 0:13:16.800 a producer on the overnight show. He's going to produced 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:18.480 the show and do the show and all that. So 0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:23.200 Doc Mike somehow became the producer. Now, this is another 0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:24.959 one of those stories. I'm not sure how it all 0:13:25.000 --> 0:13:28.800 went down. It was a bit of a foggy situation. 0:13:29.480 --> 0:13:32.840 One minute, I'm on the radio talking about Tom Brady 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:36.800 and the whole situation with Brady, and at that time, 0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:39.520 he was leaving the Patriots, He's going to go to 0:13:39.640 --> 0:13:42.480 Tampa Bay, and there was all these stories about Tom Brady. 0:13:42.760 --> 0:13:49.000 And the next thing, I've got Doc Mike lining up guests. Now, 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:56.000 not athletes, not coaches. Doc Mike ended up lining up doctors, 0:13:56.600 --> 0:13:59.600 like real or at least those that believe they're real. 0:14:00.600 --> 0:14:05.680 Uh So he put these people on and during the pandemic, 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:08.360 we didn't really have many rules. We just had to 0:14:08.360 --> 0:14:11.000 fill the airtime. And the bosses were like, listen, there's 0:14:11.000 --> 0:14:13.200 no sports going on. We hired you to do sports. 0:14:13.960 --> 0:14:15.839 Just talk about whatever you want to talk about. So 0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:18.280 I was like, all right, Doc's going to book a guest. 0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:19.960 No one else's booking guests for me. I don't have 0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:23.480 a producer, so let's let's do it. And so he 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:28.680 puts these doctors on to do urine therapy on national radio. 0:14:29.080 --> 0:14:33.040 Urine therapy. One even got so worked up and do 0:14:33.160 --> 0:14:37.560 a tizzy that they cursed on the air. Now I 0:14:37.600 --> 0:14:40.200 should have been furious. I should have been very upset. 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:43.000 That's a very bad thing to do. You're not supposed 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:47.360 to curse on the air. Instead, I laughed, because when 0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:50.080 you let Doc Mike drive the bus, when you put 0:14:50.160 --> 0:14:53.120 him in the driver's seat and you let him drive 0:14:53.160 --> 0:14:57.400 the bus, you do not complain. Do not complain when 0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:02.160 it crashes. Don't do that. You just and you hope 0:15:02.240 --> 0:15:04.520 the fire isn't too big when the bus crashes, because 0:15:04.560 --> 0:15:06.840 you know it's going to crash. And then there was 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:09.760 the wedding. Now some of you attended this, if you 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:13.760 went to the Mallard meet and greet in the Great 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:18.040 State of Minnesota, a fake wedding at the Iconic Mermaid 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:22.920 where Hollering James was there and a bunch of other 0:15:23.000 --> 0:15:26.160 big stars there from the Great State of Minnesota. They 0:15:26.160 --> 0:15:29.320 were all hanging out and also other states around there. 0:15:29.360 --> 0:15:34.840 So Doc Mike and Regina, also known as spin Cycle Regina, 0:15:36.040 --> 0:15:40.200 they had a wedding. It wasn't real, of course, but 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:43.400 it was, if you'll excuse me, the most real fake 0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:46.600 thing I've ever been a part of, Doc Mike saying 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:51.800 I do in front of radio listeners. I was dragged 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:57.720 into that. It was funny, it was bizarre, and it 0:15:57.760 --> 0:16:00.200 really was perfect in many ways for that of it. 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:03.560 It was perfect for that event. You could tell part 0:16:03.600 --> 0:16:05.880 of Doc Mike believed that he was actually getting married, 0:16:06.520 --> 0:16:08.760 even if it was all theater. He played along, good acting. 0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:13.280 And here's the thing about Doc Mike, and I'll sum 0:16:13.280 --> 0:16:16.440 it up like this, he shouldn't matter. Doc Mike should 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:19.960 not matter in the context of a talk radio show. 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:25.000 He's just one guy calling in to the overnight a 0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:28.600 sports talk radio show. And yet some of the funniest, 0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:32.760 most memorable, most bizarre things in the history of the 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:40.920 show have happened because of Doc Mike. He's chaos, he's theater. 0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:44.120 He's the best and worst of what makes sports radio 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:48.880 so addictive and the passion of sports radio. So yes, 0:16:48.920 --> 0:16:53.480 Doc Mike, he has called the show again, and yes, 0:16:53.720 --> 0:16:57.760 it was wonderful to hear from him, because Doc Mike 0:16:57.920 --> 0:17:02.960 is a reminder, at least for me and maybe for you. 0:17:03.000 --> 0:17:04.840 But he's a reminder to me. Doc Mike is that 0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:08.080 it's kind of why we do what we do in 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:12.720 the first place. And it's not just about the sports. 0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:17.000 It's about the people around the sports, the goat heads, 0:17:17.080 --> 0:17:21.280 the screw drivers, the fake weddings that never happen. So 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:24.520 Doc Mike is back, and I say, at least for 0:17:24.520 --> 0:17:26.800 the Ben Mallor Show, and I would say for a larger, 0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:31.080 larger group of sports radio that means the world's just 0:17:31.119 --> 0:17:33.600 a little more interesting again, at least when he chooses 0:17:33.640 --> 0:17:34.960 to call in, he say he's going to call in 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:39.080 more often. We'll see if that actually happens. I have 0:17:39.240 --> 0:17:41.280 my doubts, but he said he's gonna call in more often, 0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:44.400 so we'll see. Now, I did want to rant about 0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:51.639 something else, and there's a need to filibuster for me. 0:17:51.840 --> 0:17:54.520 For me now, I mentioned this in the previous episode 0:17:54.560 --> 0:17:58.800 of the radio show. I would like to now mention 0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:01.320 it again. I want to expand on what has become 0:18:01.320 --> 0:18:04.840 a pet peeve of mine. And there are people in 0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:08.119 this world that collect baseball cards. There are some people 0:18:08.119 --> 0:18:12.240 that collect snaps stamps, there's some people that collect Disney stuff. 0:18:13.400 --> 0:18:15.960 Whatever your jam is, I don't know what you collect. 0:18:16.440 --> 0:18:18.919 It's not my business unless you want to make it 0:18:19.000 --> 0:18:24.400 my business. So what we're all collecting though, and we're 0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:26.720 not realizing it, Well, I'm realizing it. I've had the 0:18:28.640 --> 0:18:34.480 point of epiphanation where having an epiphany. But we're all, 0:18:34.680 --> 0:18:41.720 all of us are collecting illusions. The greatest hustle of 0:18:41.800 --> 0:18:46.160 the modern age is not Bernie made Off, It's not Enron, 0:18:46.400 --> 0:18:53.240 it's not the Larry David endorsed crypto that went under. No, 0:18:53.520 --> 0:19:02.520 it's the curated, digitalized, algorithm driven social media mirage that 0:19:02.560 --> 0:19:06.080 we are living in a fund zone at the count 0:19:06.119 --> 0:19:10.280 of all, a fun zone of mirrors, and it rubs 0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:13.960 me the wrong way it does. And so the inside 0:19:14.000 --> 0:19:18.000 skinning on this, a lot of us know it's a 0:19:18.080 --> 0:19:24.959 really slick trick, and yet we still clap like seals 0:19:25.160 --> 0:19:28.440 at a show when the magician pulls the rabbit out 0:19:28.440 --> 0:19:33.480 of that. Social media is the wile wild West. There 0:19:33.640 --> 0:19:39.080 is no sheriff, just tumbleweeds, tumbleweeds of bots, rolling, rolling, 0:19:39.240 --> 0:19:43.040 rolling across the digital wasteland that is your feet whatever 0:19:43.040 --> 0:19:49.080 your algorithm happens to be. However, here's the con. The 0:19:49.240 --> 0:19:55.560 con is there are major companies, billion dollar, multi billion 0:19:55.680 --> 0:19:59.879 dollar companies who I believe are run by really smart people, 0:20:00.640 --> 0:20:04.240 really really smart people who are very sharp in business 0:20:04.320 --> 0:20:07.280 and know exactly what they're doing. And yet these really 0:20:07.359 --> 0:20:12.440 really smart people, the top one percent of one percent, 0:20:12.880 --> 0:20:17.960 those people are falling for it. They get dragged in. 0:20:18.080 --> 0:20:22.640 Look at these numbers. Millions of followers, billions of views, 0:20:24.040 --> 0:20:29.080 except spoiler alert, spoiler alert, the followers are fake. The 0:20:29.240 --> 0:20:33.639 views are inflated, the downloads bought in bulk like you 0:20:33.640 --> 0:20:39.560 would buy tubs of mayonnaise at Costco or discount toothpaste. 0:20:40.240 --> 0:20:44.440 Now we're told that that artist is blowing up, this 0:20:44.600 --> 0:20:50.320 influencer is a star, and this show is a smash 0:20:50.440 --> 0:20:57.639 hit except when, and it always happens, when the curtain lifts. 0:20:58.480 --> 0:21:02.560 The tickets aren't selling, the arenas are mostly empty, the 0:21:02.720 --> 0:21:05.480 ratings look like they're a minor league team on a 0:21:05.560 --> 0:21:10.399 Tuesday in Toledo. It is a Potempkin village, is what 0:21:10.520 --> 0:21:16.040 it is. It's a facade built out of bots, fake likes, 0:21:16.600 --> 0:21:21.800 and the illusion of relevance. And it turns out that 0:21:22.520 --> 0:21:24.440 a lot of these people that have been going around 0:21:24.560 --> 0:21:28.440 trying to sell music or sell their takes on certain 0:21:28.480 --> 0:21:34.600 shows that the fans with just an algorithm in Uzbekistan 0:21:35.440 --> 0:21:39.000 some clicking refresh and there's some new followers and all 0:21:39.000 --> 0:21:42.399 that stuff. And you see, the matrix is a rigged game. 0:21:43.080 --> 0:21:48.359 It is a rigged game. Red pill, blue pill, guess 0:21:48.359 --> 0:21:56.600 what same destination destination fraud, capital f fraud. And now 0:21:56.760 --> 0:22:04.439 entering the chat, half man lizard person Adam Silver, who's 0:22:04.680 --> 0:22:08.080 supposed to be supposed to be the grown up in 0:22:08.119 --> 0:22:10.480 the room, supposed to be the grown up in the room. 0:22:10.760 --> 0:22:13.639 He gets on his soapbox this week. Now, I mentioned 0:22:13.640 --> 0:22:14.919 this on the radio show, but I would like to 0:22:14.920 --> 0:22:16.920 expand on this because it really ties into what I'm 0:22:16.920 --> 0:22:19.000 thinking about. And this is my train of thought, and 0:22:19.040 --> 0:22:21.920 I'm the conductor true on my own train of thought. 0:22:22.920 --> 0:22:24.959 So I've just explained to you how I think this 0:22:25.000 --> 0:22:28.280 great hustle is going on. And it's a Potempkin village. 0:22:28.280 --> 0:22:30.920 It's all just an illusion, and it's like a movie set. 0:22:30.960 --> 0:22:34.600 It's like being over at the Universal Lot and they've 0:22:34.600 --> 0:22:37.120 got the downtown New York scene and that whole deal. 0:22:37.800 --> 0:22:42.639 It's like that. So Adam Silver, who's supposed to be 0:22:42.720 --> 0:22:44.919 one of those grown ups in the room. Adam Silver, 0:22:45.520 --> 0:22:49.800 he gets on his soapbox or his spaceship is flying 0:22:49.840 --> 0:22:53.399 saucer the other day and he says the NBA is 0:22:53.440 --> 0:22:57.840 a highlight sport. He said it. He was asked about 0:22:58.040 --> 0:23:02.200 people not wanting to money for the various streaming services, 0:23:02.200 --> 0:23:06.359 and Adam Silber, without missing the beat, says, well, listen, 0:23:07.160 --> 0:23:09.720 just watch the highlights. Don't bother watching the games. Just 0:23:09.760 --> 0:23:13.720 snack on twelve second dunks and three point shots that 0:23:13.760 --> 0:23:17.040 are about eight seconds on TikTok, and you're good, which 0:23:17.080 --> 0:23:21.320 is the equivalent if if you were the CEO of 0:23:21.960 --> 0:23:26.240 Ruth Chris Steakhouse said, I know you can't afford our steak. 0:23:26.359 --> 0:23:30.160 You can't afford our delicious mashed potatoes or the mac 0:23:30.240 --> 0:23:33.399 and cheese. You can't afford anything because you're poor. So 0:23:33.440 --> 0:23:35.840 what I'm gonna do for you is you don't need 0:23:35.840 --> 0:23:39.560 the steak, you don't need the mashed potatoes, you do 0:23:39.680 --> 0:23:43.280 not need the mac and cheese. Just lick the plate. 0:23:43.440 --> 0:23:46.000 That's all you need, right, you don't need the steak. 0:23:46.119 --> 0:23:49.760 Just lick the plate. That's what it's all about. So 0:23:49.840 --> 0:23:53.919 the NBA business model. The NBA makes the lion's share 0:23:54.160 --> 0:23:59.440 of their money off television when no one's watching television anymore. 0:23:59.520 --> 0:24:02.320 That may, it may not be true, but television is 0:24:03.440 --> 0:24:07.439 what pays the bills, the real money. Social media, for 0:24:07.680 --> 0:24:10.680 all of the glitter and all the metrics and all that, 0:24:11.000 --> 0:24:17.679 is a cotton candy economy. It's sweet, fluffy and evaporates 0:24:18.119 --> 0:24:22.400 the second it touches your tongue e. And the other 0:24:22.440 --> 0:24:25.479 thing about is, once you've seen how the trick is done, 0:24:26.080 --> 0:24:27.680 and this is with all magic, but this is a 0:24:27.720 --> 0:24:30.080 bit of a magic trick. Once you've seen how the 0:24:30.119 --> 0:24:33.600 trick is done, you no longer say abercadabor, hocus pocus. 0:24:34.320 --> 0:24:37.080