WEBVTT - Ep. 6 — Lynnette "The Money Coach" Khalfani-Cox 0:00:01.280 --> 0:00:03.840 What's up, guys. It's Brown Ambition Episode five. 0:00:04.040 --> 0:00:06.200 So Mandy said, I can't say hey, hey hey anymore. 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:10.280 I just suggested nicely that perhaps she'd like to explore 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:12.600 a different way of introducing herself to the podcast we're on. 0:00:12.720 --> 0:00:13.640 But I like, hey hey. 0:00:13.720 --> 0:00:16.880 So if you don't want me to say hey hey anymore, then, 0:00:17.079 --> 0:00:19.000 or if you do want me to say it, then 0:00:19.079 --> 0:00:22.560 tweet us at the BA podcast on Twitter at the 0:00:22.560 --> 0:00:24.640 BA podcast, and we're gonna take a vote. 0:00:24.960 --> 0:00:27.360 Yay, hey, hey, hey, nay, hey hey. 0:00:27.240 --> 0:00:38.919 Hey, Okay, fine, it's the democracy Twitter democracy. Well, let's 0:00:38.960 --> 0:00:41.480 start to show you guys today. We have an amazingly 0:00:41.560 --> 0:00:44.320 special show for you. This is not the Brown Ambition 0:00:44.360 --> 0:00:45.159 you would come to. 0:00:45.400 --> 0:00:46.000 Know so far. 0:00:46.120 --> 0:00:48.760 We have a special guest you're not just gonna keep 0:00:48.840 --> 0:00:52.040 hearing from us today. And her name what we call 0:00:52.120 --> 0:00:56.480 her our fairy money godmother. Yes, she truly is Lynette 0:00:56.480 --> 0:01:01.320 Califani Cox, aka the Money Coach. She is an amazing 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:05.280 personal finance expert. She's all over the television, she's all 0:01:05.319 --> 0:01:08.720 over radio. She's authored more than a dozen books, including 0:01:08.720 --> 0:01:11.840 a New York Times bestseller called Zero Debt, The Ultimate 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:15.520 Guide to Financial Freedom. Lynette has come back from having 0:01:15.520 --> 0:01:18.400 one hundred thousand dollars in credit card debt to paying 0:01:18.400 --> 0:01:20.759 it all up in three years. She now owns her 0:01:20.760 --> 0:01:23.880 own company. She's owned it for well over a decade now. 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:26.679 She was a former correspondent at Wall Street Journal and 0:01:26.720 --> 0:01:27.560 for CNBC. 0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:31.320 She's been on opwah, The Big Oh of course, Yes, uh, 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:35.360 Steve Harvey, The Today Show, Good Morning America, Doctor Phil, 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:38.280 Doctor Oz. I mean, honestly, this is a woman who 0:01:38.360 --> 0:01:40.600 has hit all of the benchmarks. 0:01:40.920 --> 0:01:43.240 She is our hero, she's our Shiro, and we are 0:01:43.280 --> 0:01:45.680 sharing her with you today and we just want this, 0:01:45.880 --> 0:01:48.240 We want this podcast to be all about Lynette, because 0:01:48.280 --> 0:01:50.400 she has so much wisdom and so much guidance, and 0:01:50.440 --> 0:01:53.200 she literally gave us life, yes for these forty five 0:01:53.200 --> 0:01:55.560 minutes that she was generous enough to speak with us. So, 0:01:56.120 --> 0:01:59.440 without further ado, here's our interview with Lynette called Fani. 0:01:59.280 --> 0:02:15.120 Cox Brown Ambition Family. We have an extra special guest 0:02:15.200 --> 0:02:16.040 on today's. 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:18.000 Show, our fairy money godmother. 0:02:18.120 --> 0:02:24.519 Yes, my mentor in my head, the awesome, the amazing, 0:02:24.880 --> 0:02:27.880 the extraordinary, Lynette Califani Cox. 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:32.680 I'll pay you guys one hundred dollars, I promised later. Okay, 0:02:32.800 --> 0:02:34.799 so you. 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:36.560 Know, it's so super fun what I do as a 0:02:36.600 --> 0:02:40.160 money coach because I get to kind of geek. 0:02:40.000 --> 0:02:43.040 Out about my favorite topic. I'm talking about money. 0:02:42.800 --> 0:02:45.720 All day long and doing it through a variety of 0:02:45.760 --> 0:02:48.080 different platforms. A huge part of what I do to 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:53.000 teach people about personal finances is to make it understandable 0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:54.600 and fun and engaging and. 0:02:55.120 --> 0:02:56.720 Just like the kind of stuff you talk to your 0:02:56.760 --> 0:02:58.320 sister or your friend or your mom about. 0:02:59.280 --> 0:03:03.519 And the media in all its you know, various formats 0:03:03.520 --> 0:03:05.800 is one way that I can do just that. 0:03:06.200 --> 0:03:08.240 So, Lenna, I know that you wound up at the 0:03:08.240 --> 0:03:10.320 Wall Street Journal, and you were there for several years. 0:03:10.360 --> 0:03:14.520 You were you had a recurring spot on CNBC as 0:03:14.520 --> 0:03:18.040 their personal finance correspondent for a long time, and then 0:03:18.639 --> 0:03:22.200 what happened you? Somehow, at some point you segued into 0:03:22.280 --> 0:03:25.640 being this money mogul and owning your own business, building 0:03:25.639 --> 0:03:28.400 your own brand, writing a dozen books. But can you 0:03:28.440 --> 0:03:30.400 walk us back to how you transition from a nine 0:03:30.440 --> 0:03:33.800 to five into the empire that you're building today? 0:03:34.320 --> 0:03:37.240 Sure, what happened was that I got fired? 0:03:37.520 --> 0:03:43.680 I mean, is there a delicate I mean, so I 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:45.840 was with dal Jones for about ten years. 0:03:45.840 --> 0:03:47.280 I was I went through a whole bunch of jobs. 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:49.480 I was a bureau chief, I was a special writer 0:03:49.600 --> 0:03:50.880 and reporter. I was a. 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:54.080 Deputy managing editor and Wall Street Journal reporter for CNBC. 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:56.560 So my last couple of years I was on air 0:03:56.600 --> 0:03:59.720 at CNBC and my official title was Wall Street Journal 0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:04.000 Report or for CNBC. But long story short, you know, 0:04:04.040 --> 0:04:06.920 it was one of the first waves of downsizing in 0:04:06.960 --> 0:04:10.440 the media business. And one day my boss came to 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:13.200 me and to you know, two hundred other people and said, 0:04:13.880 --> 0:04:16.240 all you, you know, kind of six figure way journers, we 0:04:16.240 --> 0:04:17.120 can't afford you anymore. 0:04:17.120 --> 0:04:19.040 You gotta go buy figures. 0:04:19.120 --> 0:04:21.240 Oh my god, this was a different era. 0:04:21.600 --> 0:04:25.080 Yeah, it totally was so but you know, the long 0:04:25.120 --> 0:04:26.719 and short of it is, I was like, oh. 0:04:26.640 --> 0:04:28.960 It's not right, it's not fair. Hey wait, why me? 0:04:29.160 --> 0:04:30.320 You know, I went through that whole thing. 0:04:30.640 --> 0:04:32.360 And then one of my friends who's still at the 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:36.120 Journal today, Melanie Trumpman, and she was like, she was 0:04:36.160 --> 0:04:38.599 like ever so gingerly trying to tell me, well, Lynette, 0:04:38.600 --> 0:04:40.640 did you kind of always want to do your own 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:43.479 thing and maybe this is you know, a cue for 0:04:43.520 --> 0:04:45.520 you to be an entrepreneur. And I was like, but 0:04:45.560 --> 0:04:48.680 I didn't want it this way, you know, I wanted 0:04:48.680 --> 0:04:51.680 to leave on my own terms, you know. So now 0:04:51.720 --> 0:04:54.039 I tell people that, you know, when you leave corporate America, 0:04:54.120 --> 0:04:57.520 it's typically with a feather or a baseball bat. 0:04:57.720 --> 0:04:57.919 You know. 0:04:58.680 --> 0:05:01.000 The feather is the nice party, the going away thing, 0:05:01.160 --> 0:05:03.480 and like, oh, she's going on to greener pastures or 0:05:03.520 --> 0:05:05.479 to retire, or to spend time with family or bigger 0:05:05.520 --> 0:05:08.159 project whatever. But the baseball bat is kind of like bam, 0:05:08.200 --> 0:05:10.400 they just hit you upside the head. You know, it's 0:05:10.400 --> 0:05:14.320 like goodbye. So but long story short, I really loved 0:05:14.320 --> 0:05:16.359 my time at Dawd Jones. And now I don't have 0:05:16.400 --> 0:05:18.320 any complaints. I mean, you see me, I go on 0:05:18.360 --> 0:05:20.360 CNBC all the time. Now, I did it probably about 0:05:20.400 --> 0:05:23.159 five times this year. I'm still great friends over there, 0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:28.880 no problems. But I transitioned because I was forced to, 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:30.400 and it turned out. 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:31.680 To be a blessing in disguise. 0:05:32.480 --> 0:05:35.919 And I had my last day on air as a 0:05:35.920 --> 0:05:39.560 full time correspondent. I was a daily television reporter at CNBC. 0:05:40.040 --> 0:05:42.680 My last day on air was March first, two thousand 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:46.520 and three, and that very same month I started my company, 0:05:47.000 --> 0:05:50.600 and so I made it work, you know, where's the 0:05:50.600 --> 0:05:51.479 wood for me to knock on? 0:05:51.880 --> 0:05:52.160 You know? 0:05:52.600 --> 0:05:55.800 And I just really never looked back. It's been a 0:05:55.839 --> 0:06:00.120 great ride ever since. And the twelve years now that 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:04.839 I've owned my business have been so much fun, so 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:09.680 amazingly surprising to me in terms of the opportunities that 0:06:09.680 --> 0:06:13.080 I've had, the fun that I've had, and the freedom 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:15.880 that I've had, which is what I enjoyed most of all. 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:18.680 Now that sounds very nice, but I feel like starting 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:22.040 a business must be difficult. Was there anything that can 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:23.640 you take us, like to some real talk and what 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:26.640 were some of the challenges that you found. I know Tiffany, 0:06:26.680 --> 0:06:29.719 obviously she's an entrepreneur, and you know she makes it 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:31.200 look easy, as you both do, but I know there 0:06:31.279 --> 0:06:33.200 must be something. It can't be that easy. 0:06:33.120 --> 0:06:34.320 A lot of ram and noodle nights. 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:39.400 And I'm not suggesting that there weren't hardships and that 0:06:39.440 --> 0:06:42.920 it wasn't difficult at times, because frankly, it very much was. 0:06:43.360 --> 0:06:45.840 In my case, I rated my four O one K, 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:50.080 which I would obviously not recommend that anybody do in 0:06:50.160 --> 0:06:52.400 order to start a business and kind of get things going. 0:06:53.360 --> 0:06:55.839 I was in an unhappy marriage at the time, and 0:06:55.880 --> 0:07:00.640 I was you know, anticipating divorce, and I did obviously 0:07:00.640 --> 0:07:02.760 in fact divorced later and I. 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:05.480 Subsequently remarried in two thousand and seven. 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:10.680 But for me, it was sort of financial pressures, you know, 0:07:10.840 --> 0:07:14.840 loss of salary, going through a ton of money in 0:07:14.920 --> 0:07:19.840 terms of my retirement savings, going through a crumbling marriage. 0:07:19.400 --> 0:07:21.040 And trying to hold it all together. And I was 0:07:21.040 --> 0:07:22.720 the only breadwinner in. 0:07:22.680 --> 0:07:25.720 My family at the time because my ex husband, he 0:07:26.320 --> 0:07:28.960 was still in school. What was frankly supposed to be 0:07:29.160 --> 0:07:31.760 you know, kind of a five year program turned into 0:07:32.000 --> 0:07:34.560 six years and seven and eight and nine and ten 0:07:34.720 --> 0:07:37.800 and then eleven long years before he got his PhD. 0:07:38.080 --> 0:07:41.040 So I was the only one working during that time period. 0:07:41.200 --> 0:07:46.160 So yes, you know, the hardest part for me initially 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:51.600 was the transition from having a big brand name behind you. 0:07:52.040 --> 0:07:54.000 Because let me tell you, when you say I'm coming 0:07:54.000 --> 0:07:55.760 from the Wall Street Journal, people are gonna take your call. 0:07:56.040 --> 0:07:58.320 When you you know, pick up the phone and say 0:07:58.360 --> 0:08:00.680 you want to be interviewed on CNBC, it's like, how 0:08:00.760 --> 0:08:03.880 quickly can I get there? And so after that, because 0:08:03.920 --> 0:08:07.600 I knew I wanted to do the very same exact 0:08:07.640 --> 0:08:09.600 things that I had been doing. I wanted to talk 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:12.520 about money. I wanted to write. I wanted to write books. 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:14.760 I wanted to teach people about money. I wanted to 0:08:14.760 --> 0:08:19.440 be on TV and leverage my journalism background. It's easier 0:08:19.440 --> 0:08:21.640 to do that when you have a big name behind 0:08:21.680 --> 0:08:24.520 you and a brand and that kind of platform than 0:08:24.560 --> 0:08:28.040 it is to establish the platform on your own. So 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:31.160 for me, that was probably the biggest challenge of it all. 0:08:31.640 --> 0:08:35.559 And even through that, you know, there were trial and 0:08:35.960 --> 0:08:39.400 many trials and errors. I feel like the first couple 0:08:39.400 --> 0:08:42.600 books that I published, well, certainly the first one when 0:08:42.640 --> 0:08:45.080 I did investing success, oh my god, I spent so 0:08:45.160 --> 0:08:49.960 much money. I wasted, frankly, so much money. And I'm 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:53.959 glad that I learned the lessons though, because it really 0:08:54.720 --> 0:08:58.640 made me appreciate having both sides of the equation, knowing 0:08:58.720 --> 0:09:03.720 the traditional public world and knowing the self publishing world. 0:09:04.520 --> 0:09:07.040 And again I looked out and that my husband happens 0:09:07.040 --> 0:09:09.800 to be a book agent, and so he taught me 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:13.080 a lot of the ropes and showed me the things 0:09:13.080 --> 0:09:16.640 that I was doing incorrectly and that could be modified 0:09:16.640 --> 0:09:19.000 and improved upon, and the things that I could really 0:09:19.000 --> 0:09:22.120 do well that would leverage my own skill set and 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:24.120 the things that I was, you know, just already kind 0:09:24.120 --> 0:09:28.280 of passionate about where I had connections and how I 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:31.560 could sort of make one plus one equal three or four. 0:09:31.960 --> 0:09:34.600 So you mentioned Earl. You know that he's your manager 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:36.920 as well as your husband. Mandy and I were just 0:09:36.960 --> 0:09:40.160 both talking. We're both in long term relationships, and we 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:44.640 were both just fantasizing on how how that would look 0:09:44.960 --> 0:09:47.040 with our booze and I just don't see it. I'm like, 0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:49.800 how because when I first met this is a whole. 0:09:49.600 --> 0:09:52.480 New This is how much ty we have. This is 0:09:52.480 --> 0:09:53.560 a segment unto itself. 0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:56.640 Ladies, Okay, what struck me when I first first met 0:09:56.640 --> 0:09:59.520 you a few years ago is that when you mentioned 0:09:59.520 --> 0:10:03.439 Earl then and even now, your faith lights up, you know, 0:10:03.600 --> 0:10:05.240 And I just love that. And I'm like, wow, not 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:06.839 to say my face doesn't light up with boo but 0:10:06.880 --> 0:10:08.600 it's been two years, so you know, we're still new. 0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:10.920 So how do you maintain that? 0:10:11.000 --> 0:10:15.479 How do you work together and still maintain this amazing relationship. 0:10:17.000 --> 0:10:19.560 Earl is truly my best friend, I mean, and we 0:10:19.640 --> 0:10:23.760 started off in a business capacity and I trusted him 0:10:23.760 --> 0:10:25.959 with a lot of things to kind of manage some 0:10:26.080 --> 0:10:29.000 things on the brand. Side for me to consult with me, 0:10:29.200 --> 0:10:32.280 to teach me what I didn't know, and I was 0:10:32.320 --> 0:10:35.559 always sort of attracted to the intellectual and creative side 0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:37.640 of him, and I always felt like, Gosh, this is 0:10:37.640 --> 0:10:40.080 somebody who I can and I like to learn a lot, 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:43.480 and so I'm sort of more naturally attracted to people who. 0:10:43.320 --> 0:10:44.120 Teach me stuff. 0:10:45.200 --> 0:10:48.960 But even beyond that, I would say, we really do 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:53.079 actively work at what is no question about it. The 0:10:53.160 --> 0:10:56.760 number one thing to strengthen any relationship, and certainly any 0:10:57.280 --> 0:11:01.240 romantic relationship, which is communication. So I've had so many 0:11:01.280 --> 0:11:04.680 friends tell us because we have a home office and 0:11:04.720 --> 0:11:08.000 we literally sit side by side, we have our two 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:10.920 macs set up, and some people have told me, in 0:11:10.960 --> 0:11:14.240 no uncertain terms, I would jump off the roof, Okay, 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:16.440 I would slit my wrists if I had to work 0:11:16.440 --> 0:11:19.160 with my husband or my boyfriend in business all day long. 0:11:19.280 --> 0:11:21.400 And they were like, you guys are like in the house, 0:11:21.600 --> 0:11:24.320 like all like twenty four to seven, you see each 0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:26.000 other in your work, And I'm like, yeah, pretty much, 0:11:26.040 --> 0:11:28.200 you know, so you really do. 0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:29.000 Have to like the person. 0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:34.000 But I will say this that since we were both 0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:37.360 previously married, Earl was married like in the I don't know, 0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:39.920 late eighties or nineties or something. You know, well before 0:11:39.920 --> 0:11:43.000 I met him in two thousand and three, two thousand 0:11:43.040 --> 0:11:47.119 and four time period. But he was in a bad marriage. 0:11:47.200 --> 0:11:50.760 I frankly was in an unhappy marriage. And we have 0:11:51.040 --> 0:11:54.840 so much gratitude now for having had a previous sort 0:11:54.840 --> 0:11:58.760 of negative experience that we can appreciate each other. And 0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:01.360 we were you know, we were older when we got married. 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:03.439 We you know, second time around. 0:12:03.120 --> 0:12:03.839 Teaches you a lot. 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:06.360 You learn about yourself, You're a lot more mature. You 0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:08.800 understand what you can tolerate and what you can't. You 0:12:08.840 --> 0:12:11.000 know what your needs are, and you. 0:12:11.120 --> 0:12:12.280 Learn a lot of lessons. 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:15.040 So I certainly don't put you know, everything for a 0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:18.280 failed marriage in the past on my ex because I 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:21.600 know so much of what I did that contributed to 0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:24.800 the deterioration of the marriage, et cetera. But I also 0:12:24.920 --> 0:12:27.040 know now that I know what it takes to keep 0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:29.360 a marriage together and to keep it healthy and strong, 0:12:29.720 --> 0:12:31.280 And for us, a lot, a lot, a lot of 0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:34.200 it is about communication. So many times, like when I 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:36.040 talk to my mother on the phone if I'm tired, 0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:37.959 I'm like, oh, you know, Earl and I were up 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:40.040 it was like two o'clock in the morning, but we 0:12:40.040 --> 0:12:40.520 were talking. 0:12:40.679 --> 0:12:41.760 We were just talking in the bed and. 0:12:41.800 --> 0:12:44.240 She's like, mmmm, y'all are talking and I'm like, no, 0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:48.560 we were seriously like talking, you know. But we're like 0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:52.320 always like bouncing off the you know, off the walls 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:56.520 with ideas, and you know, the passion is there because 0:12:56.800 --> 0:12:59.880 we have the love interests, we have the partnership and 0:13:00.200 --> 0:13:03.600 the sort of affinity factor for one another. There's a 0:13:03.640 --> 0:13:06.880 tremendous amount of respect and we try to stay in 0:13:06.880 --> 0:13:09.760 our own lanes. So you know, I had a photographer 0:13:09.840 --> 0:13:12.840 once who met us, and you know, after he kind 0:13:12.880 --> 0:13:14.640 of dealt with us for a couple of hours and 0:13:14.679 --> 0:13:15.280 he asked. 0:13:15.120 --> 0:13:16.080 Us a lot about our business. 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:19.560 He said, ah, I get it. He said, Lynnette you're 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:25.640 the Wow, and Earl you're the haw. And we were like, yeah, 0:13:25.679 --> 0:13:28.439 that's pretty much it. 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:52.000 Well, I feel like as a writer and I run 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:55.079 into this too, I so very little want to acknowledge 0:13:55.080 --> 0:13:58.360 that people may be underestimating, underestimating my abilities as a 0:13:58.440 --> 0:14:00.720 woman of color, because I just you know, it's like 0:14:00.760 --> 0:14:02.520 you said, when people tell you not to do something, 0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:05.560 you just want to strive forward improve them wrong. And 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:07.640 I never really think, well, are they not believing in 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:09.440 me because of my color or is it just because 0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:11.680 of my gender? Have you ever you know, when you 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:12.240 were going. 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:17.160 My god, totally, you know, Mandy, I experienced what you feel, 0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:22.560 probably threefold because of the area of financial writing that 0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:24.920 I was doing. Can you imagine me being, you know, 0:14:25.760 --> 0:14:29.360 twenty seven years old writing for a Wall Street Journal 0:14:29.400 --> 0:14:32.120 and Dow Jones and going to interview some investment bankers 0:14:32.160 --> 0:14:35.920 on Wall Street from Merrill Lynch, JP, Morgan, Chase, Solomon Brothers, 0:14:36.640 --> 0:14:42.600 talking to traders, investors, money managers, stockbrokers, investment analysts, and 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:44.600 nine times out of ten I walked in the room, 0:14:44.640 --> 0:14:47.080 I was the only person of color, certainly frequently the 0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:52.640 only woman. And I could just see, Okay, are they thinking, Hey, 0:14:53.000 --> 0:14:53.800 who is this woman? 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:57.480 Who is this black woman? Who is this young black woman? 0:14:57.800 --> 0:14:58.040 You know? 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:01.720 So in my head as a professional, I kind of 0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:05.080 always wanted to be older than I was, just to 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:08.160 like eliminate that part of it, that part of the 0:15:09.400 --> 0:15:13.120 trifecta that was like a negative, you know. And so 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:16.880 it was so funny because when I started, you know, 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:20.640 when I dated Earle and I, you know, we got 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:22.920 married and everything, and I was like, oh, you know. 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:24.920 I was telling him things like oh, I can't wait 0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:30.200 to turn forty, and he was like, Lynette, slow your role, 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:34.480 trust me, he said, I'm five years ahead of you. 0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:37.200 I know you're saying this right now, but it gets 0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:40.280 different and you're gonna And it didn't happen until I 0:15:40.320 --> 0:15:45.240 was about maybe forty three forty four that I was like, oh, okay, 0:15:45.320 --> 0:15:47.360 I see what he's talking about. I was like, gosh, 0:15:47.400 --> 0:15:49.960 my eyes. I was like, I've never worn glasses. Do 0:15:50.040 --> 0:15:53.200 I like need glasses now? And I was like, what's 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:53.960 going on with my body? 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:54.440 Come? 0:15:54.480 --> 0:15:55.840 My body is changing so much? 0:15:55.880 --> 0:15:58.840 And you know, I so identify though with that feeling 0:15:58.880 --> 0:16:00.720 like you just want you wish you were older, Like 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:02.480 when I was just starting on as a reporter and 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:05.680 I was you know, you know, I so identified talking 0:16:05.720 --> 0:16:08.280 to the stockburgers and traders and even now wealth managers. 0:16:08.480 --> 0:16:08.680 YEP. 0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:10.600 I wish my voice was deeper. I wish that I 0:16:10.600 --> 0:16:13.800 were older. I wish I sounded more professional, and eventually 0:16:13.840 --> 0:16:15.280 I just you know, I'm still working on it, but 0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:17.360 I just try and tell myself to just stop thinking 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:18.120 about it, fake it. 0:16:18.080 --> 0:16:20.760 Time, make it, and honestly, that's what you have to do. 0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:23.360 You just have to kind of get over yourself and 0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:26.840 understand that if somebody is going to have those kind 0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:31.960 of preconceived notions and prejudices and sort of misconceptions about 0:16:32.120 --> 0:16:35.920 your capabilities, all you need to do is shine. 0:16:35.960 --> 0:16:38.400 All you need to do is be excellent. All you 0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:38.800 need to. 0:16:38.760 --> 0:16:42.000 Do is write copy that is so flawless that they're like, 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:43.320 oh my god, this was a good story. 0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:45.520 I can't I want her to interview me again. 0:16:46.000 --> 0:16:50.520 I have never, ever once in my entire career had 0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:53.680 somebody come to me and say, oh, oh my god, 0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:55.840 this was so awful, this was bad, this was this 0:16:55.960 --> 0:16:57.720 was you know, this was totally wrong. 0:16:57.800 --> 0:16:59.080 This was you know, have I had. 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:01.840 A correction ever or something that was a typo or something, Well, yes, 0:17:01.880 --> 0:17:03.520 I'm not gonna, you know, say, I'm like, you know, 0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:07.200 Christine perfect that kind of thing. But I'm saying substantively, 0:17:07.760 --> 0:17:10.600 nobody's ever been able to pick holes in my work ever, 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:13.920 and so and it's because I hold myself to an 0:17:13.920 --> 0:17:18.359 extremely high standard of excellence and my sister Debbie and 0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:21.040 among the other people you know, taught me that. And 0:17:21.440 --> 0:17:23.159 after a while, it's like, what can they do? They 0:17:23.160 --> 0:17:25.280 can't mess with you when you just you know when 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:27.760 you're when you're when you're just doing you, and just 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:29.280 so you just have to kind of put that stuff 0:17:29.280 --> 0:17:30.719 in the back of your mind, just go about your 0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:33.199 work and just do you. And honestly, Mandy, before you 0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:34.760 know it, you're gonna be like thirty two and you'll 0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:35.400 be thirty seven. 0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:37.919 Then you'd be like, ooh, I remember Lene told me 0:17:38.920 --> 0:17:40.879 I'm thirty five and nine. I'm like, whoa, what did 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:41.760 this happen? 0:17:42.040 --> 0:17:42.200 Well. 0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:43.840 One of the things that you said at FENCN that 0:17:43.880 --> 0:17:46.479 was so striking was at this conference we were all 0:17:46.520 --> 0:17:48.960 at last week was that you should never use someone 0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:53.480 else's success as your own bar of excellence. But I 0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:55.280 feel like I want to break that rule because I 0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:57.200 don't think I'll be doing myself a disservice if I 0:17:57.320 --> 0:18:00.560 make you my bar. Oh really down. I think I 0:18:00.840 --> 0:18:02.879 think I'll just keep reaching and maybe if I hit 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:04.720 that level, I'll be even if I don't have If 0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:06.720 I get one level below that, I'll bet. 0:18:07.880 --> 0:18:10.320 That's so so flattering. I'm so humble to hear you 0:18:10.320 --> 0:18:10.560 say that. 0:18:10.600 --> 0:18:13.680 But you know what, I read the ten X rule 0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:17.800 by Grant Cardone and he was talking about competition and 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:20.159 just different things. And he's like, crush the competition, you 0:18:20.280 --> 0:18:23.879 just dominate, you know. But his philosophy is in large 0:18:23.880 --> 0:18:27.720 part outwork everybody be willing to do ten times as much. 0:18:28.280 --> 0:18:31.880 And I'm like, I totally identify with that because I'm 0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:33.919 a hustler and I believe in hard work, and I 0:18:33.920 --> 0:18:38.359 have a tremendous work ethic. But he also said something 0:18:38.400 --> 0:18:41.800 that was I think very relevant when he said if 0:18:41.840 --> 0:18:46.000 you must, he was like, if you must benchmark yourself 0:18:46.040 --> 0:18:51.040 against somebody, make make it somebody that's so epically beyond 0:18:51.200 --> 0:18:55.280 your plane. And and and Mandy, I am not epically 0:18:55.320 --> 0:18:57.800 beyond your plane. Don't don't say oh I want to 0:18:57.840 --> 0:19:00.280 be you know still and that I'm I want you 0:19:00.359 --> 0:19:02.679 to like go to like Oprah level. Okay, here, something 0:19:03.600 --> 0:19:06.720 that's the that's ten x thinking. It's the it's the 0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:12.080 idea that you go well, well way beyond your kind 0:19:12.080 --> 0:19:14.800 of wildest imagination. So for the person who said, you 0:19:14.800 --> 0:19:17.199 know what, yeah, I'm making one hundred thousand dollars and 0:19:17.240 --> 0:19:19.760 my goal is to make five hundred thousand dollars a year, 0:19:20.000 --> 0:19:22.320 why not say my goal is to make five million 0:19:22.359 --> 0:19:25.680 a year, Because then it's sort of like that expression 0:19:25.720 --> 0:19:27.920 you've heard, you know, kind of you know, reach. 0:19:27.800 --> 0:19:30.600 For the moon or or the sun or the stars 0:19:30.680 --> 0:19:32.720 or whatever, and at least you'll fall among the stars 0:19:32.800 --> 0:19:33.879 or whatever the expression is. 0:19:34.480 --> 0:19:37.359 It's to get you to go way, way, way out 0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:42.679 of your comfort zone and to just go for enormous 0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:46.040 stretch goals and then you'll surprise yourself. You'll see like, 0:19:46.440 --> 0:19:50.040 holy cow, this actually you know, this actually worked. 0:19:50.200 --> 0:19:52.240 And what's the worst that could happen if it doesn't work? 0:19:52.680 --> 0:19:54.960 You know, for the person who says, for example, or 0:19:54.960 --> 0:19:57.920