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Speaker 1: What I'm in New York City. I'd like to keep

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Speaker 1: the windows open when I'm recording from New York City

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Speaker 1: so everybody who's not in New York City can feel

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Speaker 1: the ambiance. Anyway, I am Michael Rappaport, and you are

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Speaker 1: now listening to the I Am or Rappaport podcast. I

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Speaker 1: just came back from the nail saloon. I had to

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Speaker 1: go get a pedicure, manicure or whatever. My girl told

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Speaker 1: me I couldn't put my fingers in the cookie jar

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Speaker 1: with my cuticles in the shape they were in. So

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Speaker 1: I went and got a pedicure and uh manicure, and uh,

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Speaker 1: now my fingernails are looking nice. And and let me

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Speaker 1: tell you something, I don't feel emasculated one bit by

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Speaker 1: going in there to get a manicure. My fingers are

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Speaker 1: nice and smooth, my cuticles are good, and uh, I

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Speaker 1: don't have any ingrown nails. I don't have any Everything

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Speaker 1: looks nice. So I'm really glad that I got a

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Speaker 1: manicure and now I could hopefully, uh hopefully, uh my

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Speaker 1: lady will continue to let me put my fingers in

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Speaker 1: the cookie jar, if you know what I mean. Today

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Speaker 1: we are doing the second installment of Wiga Please. All right.

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Speaker 1: People are going crazy all over the world for the

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Speaker 1: first installment of Wiga Please. Today we're gonna do the

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Speaker 1: second installment of Wiga Please. All right. We've added some

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Speaker 1: dynamics to it, and uh it's big. It's big, very topical, sir. Uh,

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Speaker 1: It's like, uh the CNN of podcasts. Wiga Please has

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Speaker 1: become like the CNN of podcast that segment it's it's

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Speaker 1: it's knocking down barriers, knocking down walls, it's doing all

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Speaker 1: sorts of ship. We are also going to introduce the

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Speaker 1: Verse of the Week, all right. And what that's gonna

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Speaker 1: be is my nephew, Duncan. He loves hip hop. It's

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Speaker 1: got good taste, all right. He's a rappaport. My brother's uh,

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Speaker 1: my brother's kid, Duncan, and he, uh, you know, sometimes

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Speaker 1: I drive him to his games. I'm no longer coaching

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Speaker 1: his team. Uh that's a story that I'll get into

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Speaker 1: it another time. Uh. The lawyers are dealing with it.

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Speaker 1: I was coaching his flag football team. I've been asked

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Speaker 1: to no longer coach, but uh, that's up for litigation.

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Speaker 1: Lawyers are involved. I was actually removed from the league. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we won the championship a few years ago. Who brought

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Speaker 1: them to the championship? Me that's who. Okay, basketball team,

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Speaker 1: we won the championship. Who brought them to the championship? Me?

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Speaker 1: That's who. But I've been removed from coaching my nephew

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Speaker 1: Duncan's team. But he's got good taste in music, loves

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Speaker 1: hip hop. So I've asked him to come on and

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Speaker 1: recite the verse of the week, the song that that

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Speaker 1: that we get hyped to on the way to the

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Speaker 1: games that I'm no longer coaching. He's gonna come on

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Speaker 1: and he's gonna he's gonna say them and then I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna talk about the verse. It's it's always something, uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, hip hop, something good. The kids got good taste.

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Speaker 1: So we're gonna do all that and many many, many

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Speaker 1: other more things. Got fantasy football. As you know or

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Speaker 1: may not know, I am now in the Howard Sterns

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Speaker 1: Fantasy Football League, and currently four games into the season,

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Speaker 1: my team Rappaport's Delight is on top all right now,

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Speaker 1: these Stern people, we have, uh Matt Berry, the fantasy

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Speaker 1: football Google Rule. He's like the fantasy football professor Uh,

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Speaker 1: top dog, he's got a PhD in fantasy football. He's

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Speaker 1: on ESPN, he's on BBC, you know all kinds of ship.

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Speaker 1: He's the big fantasy guy if you don't know who

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Speaker 1: he is. And then we got fa fa foui Gary

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Speaker 1: de la Bonte. We got Scott the Engineer, who's a

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Speaker 1: fucking player hater. The the thing about the Howard Stern

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Speaker 1: Fantasy Football League is that you would think Howard Stern

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Speaker 1: Fantasy would be like the ship talking, you know, gambling, degenerate,

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Speaker 1: fucking the most fun fantasy football league. You got Scott

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Speaker 1: the Engineer. You got a porno star, Lisa Anne. I

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Speaker 1: have actually never seen her work. She's not my cup

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Speaker 1: of tea when it comes to uh porno, not my thing,

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Speaker 1: but apparently she's a big time porno chick. Uh. You

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Speaker 1: got Will Murray. I don't know all the all the

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Speaker 1: fucking cast of characters. So we do this. They invited me.

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Speaker 1: I yes, somebody dropped out and they're like, oh, they

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Speaker 1: call me. So I get in there and I'm just

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Speaker 1: assuming we we have the we have the draft on

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Speaker 1: on on the show. It's playing on the Howard Stern Show.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking shit because it's fantasy football. It's not fucking real.

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Speaker 1: And if you cannot talk ship and fantasy football, where

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Speaker 1: can you talk shit? So the season starts. I won

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Speaker 1: my first game. I don't remember who I was playing,

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Speaker 1: but I was talking shit. You fuck. You suck, your

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Speaker 1: team sucks, your mom sucks, everything about you sucks. You know.

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Speaker 1: In the second week, I play somebody else and I

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Speaker 1: actually I lost. I was talking. I was playing Lisa

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Speaker 1: and she's talking ship back. You know we're on a

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Speaker 1: group ee mill. You know I'm gonna fucking bury you.

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Speaker 1: No you're not. Let's make a side bay. You give

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Speaker 1: me a free a lifelong pass to you your website, Lee,

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Speaker 1: saying if I win, and if not, I'll donate that

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Speaker 1: amount of money to charity. She winds up beating me.

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Speaker 1: She talks, She's a good sport. She understands that the

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Speaker 1: ship talking, and then like we three. You know, I'm

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Speaker 1: playing somebody else. I think it was Jason Caplan or

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Speaker 1: Matt Berry. Scott, the fucking engineer who's been with the

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Speaker 1: Howard Stern Show from for for years, sends an email

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Speaker 1: saying to me, Mr Repport, if you don't rather, you're

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Speaker 1: not This is an email so I never heard, I

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Speaker 1: never met Scott. I'm sure he's a nice guy. I

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Speaker 1: know he's got a smoking problem. He started smoking cigarettes again.

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Speaker 1: He had quit apparently, and they've been haranguing this motherfucker

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Speaker 1: on the Howard Stern Show every day, watching him the

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Speaker 1: decline of him. So he gets it all the time.

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Speaker 1: So I'm doing my ship over email and then he

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Speaker 1: sends an email back saying either basically just stop talking,

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Speaker 1: shoot or just leave or whatever. And I'm like, Scott

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Speaker 1: the snot fuck you, Scott, come fucking turn on my internet.

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Speaker 1: You get it? Because I was like, he's an engineer,

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Speaker 1: he probably knows how to like do ship like that.

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Speaker 1: I don't hear anything back, so I'm thinking, you know,

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Speaker 1: like I offended Scott the fucking engineer. But then I'm

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Speaker 1: also know that Scott the engineers highly irritable because he uh,

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Speaker 1: he's just started smoking. He just gets shipped on all

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Speaker 1: the time. Howard burrates him. They always just they just

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Speaker 1: they just ride him hard. The next week, I play

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Speaker 1: Matt Berry. I am going in on Matt Barry. My

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Speaker 1: team actually beat Matt Berry's team, and I taunted him

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Speaker 1: into saying, can you give me some advice before the game,

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Speaker 1: and he's like, I'm not giving you any advice, And

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Speaker 1: I was like, but you're Matt Berry. You invented fantasy football.

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Speaker 1: You should be so confident in your skills that if

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Speaker 1: you invented fantasy football, you should still be able to

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Speaker 1: give me advice. So he gives me the advice I want.

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Speaker 1: I manipulated this fucking guy, Matt Barry and giving me

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Speaker 1: the advice I want. Then my beats him and then

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Speaker 1: I talk shit to him. I tell him he's a fraud.

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Speaker 1: He sucks, his cousin sucks. His dog has you know cancer,

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Speaker 1: is his cat has cancer. He's a piece of ship,

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Speaker 1: the car he drives as a piece of ship. And

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Speaker 1: I don't hear anything from anybody, and then he starts

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Speaker 1: sort of oh, and then I hear anything from anybody.

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Speaker 1: Then I get an email from him on on you know,

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Speaker 1: basically he's like kind of it sounds like from the

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Speaker 1: tone of the email. You never know from emails because

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Speaker 1: you can't read it into sarcasm. And I don't know

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Speaker 1: any of these guys. I just know that personalities from

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Speaker 1: the Howard Thurnshell. I know Gary a little bit and

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Speaker 1: and really barely so I'll get an email from Matt Barry,

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Speaker 1: you know, kind of saying basically, he was saying, you're

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Speaker 1: an obnoxious funk, but he's saying it in this kind

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Speaker 1: of witty way. And I'm like, fuck you, fuck you,

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Speaker 1: fuck you. Oh you're so smart, Matt Barry, You're you're

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Speaker 1: so witty blah blah blah blah blah. And then I

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Speaker 1: write him on an email on ohmo my, on a

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Speaker 1: side email. I go, ya, I hope you don't take

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Speaker 1: this seriously because it's fantasy football. You gotta talk ship.

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Speaker 1: And he's like, oh, of course not. I'm like, but

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Speaker 1: I think this. I I get the feeling that maybe

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Speaker 1: Matt Berry's really offended that I manipulated him then beat

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Speaker 1: his ass in fantasy football. And those of you who

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Speaker 1: don't know about fantasy football, it's all stat driven, Okay,

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Speaker 1: So you you draft players from multiple teams. So I

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Speaker 1: have let's say, Peyton Manning and I have uh, Philip Rivers,

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Speaker 1: and I have the Peyton Manning is is a Denver

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Speaker 1: Bronco and Philip Rivers is another quarterback and he's from

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Speaker 1: the San Diego Charges, and I have the defense from

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Speaker 1: the Seattle Seahawks, and you take all these players that

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Speaker 1: you you you said, it's called you're an owner of

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Speaker 1: this team. So I have a fantasy team, like an

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Speaker 1: an all star team of players, and your team that

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Speaker 1: you've drafted plays against other teams, and your statistics add

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Speaker 1: up for each week. So you usually average around ninety

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Speaker 1: to a hundred twenty if you're super duper lucky, a

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Speaker 1: hundred thirty maybe a hundred forty points a week. And

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Speaker 1: the winner, obviously who you play. You know, one person

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Speaker 1: each week, the one who has the most points wins

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Speaker 1: the game. So it's all stat driven. It's total football

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Speaker 1: nerd geek shit. Okay, And I don't even know how

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Speaker 1: the fucking scoring even actually works. My twelve year old

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Speaker 1: son and as a eleven year old friend, they did

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Speaker 1: all the drafting for me. I just like talking ship.

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Speaker 1: I don't even like fantasy football. I just like to

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Speaker 1: talk ship. So this past week, Week five, I get

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Speaker 1: to play Scott Salem. Scott, the cranky, fucking uptight engineer

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Speaker 1: of the Howard Stern Show who wrote me a ship

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Speaker 1: ship email basically telling me I'm a dick and take

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Speaker 1: it easy, dude, and all this bullshit and his team

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Speaker 1: is actually really good. His fantasy team is is actually

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Speaker 1: really good, and I think it was winning the league.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, his team starts out destroying my team. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm there's no way I'm gonna win, and this guy

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Speaker 1: is gonna be so happy to beat me. Now, no

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Speaker 1: one's emailing me. I'm not hearing from anybody. I feel

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Speaker 1: like there's a whole sidebar going on without me, So

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Speaker 1: it seems destroying me. The first you know, there's the

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Speaker 1: one one pm games, and then there's the four pm games,

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Speaker 1: and then there's a Thursday night game. So during the

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Speaker 1: one pm games, I was down by like fifty points.

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Speaker 1: My best player, Jimmy Graham from the New Orleans Saints.

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Speaker 1: He gets hurt. I'm like, there's no way I'm gonna win.

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Speaker 1: Cut to Peyton fucking Manning. He comes back. He scores

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Speaker 1: thirty nine points, which has got to be, you know,

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Speaker 1: probably the highest anybody scored this week. And the game

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Speaker 1: gets close, and then another good player scores you know,

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Speaker 1: ten points, and then another person scores seven points. So

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Speaker 1: I'm close into the game. So by the time Sunday's over,

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Speaker 1: I'm down fifteen points to Scott Salem I'm down fourteen points.

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Speaker 1: I need fifteen to win. So last night the game

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Speaker 1: Monday Night Football, my Seattle Seahawks defense and my also

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Speaker 1: they're playing against each other. So if you don't understand it,

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Speaker 1: my DeShawn Jackson was playing the Washington Redskins. He's an

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Speaker 1: offensive player, he's a wide receiver. And my Seattle Seahawks.

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Speaker 1: The combination of those guys under my team. If this

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Speaker 1: makes any sense, we win, And we fucking kicked Scott

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Speaker 1: the fucking Engineers, motherfucking ass. And during these games, I

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Speaker 1: am texting, I am emailing. Nobody's responding to me. You know,

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Speaker 1: at the end of the week, Jason Kaplan from The

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Speaker 1: Howard Stern Show, he sends out these recaps. The recaps.

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Speaker 1: In the beginning of the season, we're long and details.

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Speaker 1: Now it's like nothing. And and when I get the recaps,

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Speaker 1: I right back. I fucked you, Scott. I don't get anything.

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Speaker 1: Fuck you Gary, fuck you Jason. I'm getting nothing. And

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe these guys are like we shouldn't

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Speaker 1: never ever even invited Michael Rapp report into the uh

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Speaker 1: Stern Fantasy Show league. But I'm winning. I whooped Scott

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Speaker 1: the engineer's ass. And listen, if you could find this

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Speaker 1: fucking guy on Twitter harassed as motherfucker, he hates it,

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Speaker 1: and anybody who hates getting harassed, of course I love

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Speaker 1: to harass them. More so if you could find Scott

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Speaker 1: Salem or Scott the Engineer on fucking Twitter, or Jason

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Speaker 1: Caplan and those guys on Twitter, harangue them about sucking

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Speaker 1: in fantasy football because they think that I take it seriously.

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Speaker 1: I don't take it seriously. If I lose, I don't

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Speaker 1: give a shit. But when I win, I'm gonna make

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Speaker 1: you fucking I want to ruin your whole week. And

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Speaker 1: the more I do, the more irritable and more irritated

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Speaker 1: all these Howard Stern people get. So anyway, that's my

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Speaker 1: week in fantasy football. I destroyed Scott the Engineer last week.

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Speaker 1: I kicked Matt Berry's ass. The week before that, I

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Speaker 1: kicked Jason Caplan's ass, and and and my team is

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Speaker 1: now winning. And remember I didn't even my my son

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Speaker 1: and he's eleven year old friend made all the draft picks. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so I'm not like you know, I love basketball and

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Speaker 1: I love football, but I'm not like Johnny Sports I'm

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Speaker 1: not like one of these stat nerds, is you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't even know the a f C teams from

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Speaker 1: the NFC teams. I don't know all these details, Like

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Speaker 1: if you show it to me on paper, I I

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Speaker 1: got it all. But I just my mind doesn't work

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Speaker 1: like that I got. I could barely remember, you know

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Speaker 1: what fucking apartment I live in, and I go I

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Speaker 1: live on the fourth floor. Sometimes I go to the

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Speaker 1: ninth floor. I don't know. I forget these things. But

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Speaker 1: but winning is so great. I when I lost to

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Speaker 1: Lisa An, I didn't like it. I was upset, especially

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Speaker 1: because I talked so much ship. But now that I'm

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Speaker 1: on top of the league and destroying all these guys,

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Speaker 1: I want to just bust their fucking balls. And I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna be on the Howard Sterns Show, the wrap Up Show,

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Speaker 1: because I'm not invited. I'm not cool enough to be

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Speaker 1: on the actual Howard Stern Show anymore. I used to be,

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Speaker 1: but now, if you know, I'm just I'm not cool enough.

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Speaker 1: But I think that it's actually better than I go

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Speaker 1: on the wrap Up Show. So on the wrap Up

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Speaker 1: Show on October twenty one, I'm gonna be on there,

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Speaker 1: face to face with all my fantasy football people and

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Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen. You can expect me to bust balls

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Speaker 1: to my very best. I am going to bust their

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Speaker 1: fucking balls face to face, and I love it. I

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Speaker 1: feel like it's a privilege. I love the Howard Stern

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Speaker 1: shown us, but I don't take it serious. Even though

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Speaker 1: I'm talking ship and saying fuck you and suck my

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Speaker 1: dick and your team sucks, and your mom's team sucks,

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Speaker 1: and your mom's friends teams sucks, and they they sucked

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Speaker 1: the whole NFL. I really don't care if that can

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Speaker 1: make sense for you anyway. This is Michael Rappaport. You're

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Speaker 1: listening to the I Am Rappaport podcast. I'm having a

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Speaker 1: great time doing this. I hope you're enjoyed listening to

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Speaker 1: me talk shit. I want to talk to you guys

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Speaker 1: about my workout. I don't know if anybody's seeing me

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Speaker 1: with my shirt off lately, but I look I look

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Speaker 1: fucking good, all right. I look good looking US Weekly Looking,

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Speaker 1: Star Magazine seen. I don't know if anybody's taking pictures

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Speaker 1: of me with my shirt off. I haven't really been

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Speaker 1: at the beach, but sometimes I go to the park,

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Speaker 1: I take my shirt off. You know, cameras follow me. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they fucking follow me. They follow me wherever I go,

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Speaker 1: and if I take my shirt off, they go crazy.

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Speaker 1: It's like if Kim Kardashian flashes that ass, they go nuts.

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Speaker 1: So lately I've been working out. I've been doing cross fit.

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Speaker 1: I do cross fit, and I go to these classes.

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Speaker 1: This is not a visual medium, so I'm gonna paint

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Speaker 1: the picture. As I've said before throughout my athletic career,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest. I was when I played football.

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Speaker 1: I played football from about about eight. When you know

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Speaker 1: peewee football, it's cute. Everybody's bumping into each other. Kids

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Speaker 1: are running the wrong way. You know, no one knows

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Speaker 1: what the funk they're going on. You can't get hurt.

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Speaker 1: Tackle football for eight year old it's really cute. You know,

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Speaker 1: nobody knows shit. Some kids are like kicking dirt. The

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Speaker 1: kids are like, you know, you cheat, you throw dirt

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Speaker 1: and other kid's faces. So anyway, I've gotten in shape.

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Speaker 1: I'm actually fucking ripped. I I think I look good

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Speaker 1: for at four year old Ashkenazi jew who's you know,

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Speaker 1: who's not known for his you know, muscular stature. I look,

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Speaker 1: I look good. I'm lean. I mean, I got a

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Speaker 1: little definition in my chest. I've always had great triceps.

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Speaker 1: Biceps never been my thing. Shoulders never been my thing.

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Speaker 1: I'm known for my legs. I have long like a

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Speaker 1: ballet fucking dancer. Okay, Barisha barish Nikof would would have

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Speaker 1: died for these legs now, not not to say that

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Speaker 1: they're very useful. They look athletic, beautiful calves. I've had

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Speaker 1: women come up to me, men come up to me.

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Speaker 1: I'd be in the gym, walking down the streets sometimes texting,

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Speaker 1: excuse me, you have great legs. You you have a

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Speaker 1: fantastic calves. You know that. And I said, yeah, I know,

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Speaker 1: I know, I know. I got nice calfs. You know,

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Speaker 1: God graces everybody with with with you know, certain gifts,

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Speaker 1: and that's just one of mine, if you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. All Right, I can't show you everything, lady,

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Speaker 1: but thank you. Now keep it moving, all right. No,

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Speaker 1: I don't have to do anything. I was born like this.

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Speaker 1: These calves are defined, these legs are long. I have

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Speaker 1: like women's legs, but with muscles. I have like a

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Speaker 1: basketball player's legs. Do they work like a professional basketball player? Fuck? No?

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Speaker 1: Am I fast? Fuck no? Have you ever seen me run? Okay,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what it is. I used to run

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Speaker 1: when I was a kid. I used to play ball

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Speaker 1: in New York and people would literally ask me, and

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Speaker 1: not in a critical way, Yo, do you have ship

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Speaker 1: in your pants? Man? You run like you have a

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Speaker 1: ship in your pants? And I'm like, that's funny. And

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Speaker 1: meanwhile I'm like, I'm running as fast and as hard

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Speaker 1: as I can, dude, And and they're like, yo, you

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Speaker 1: are so fucking slow and you look like you're running

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Speaker 1: with a ship literally in your pants. You know, I

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Speaker 1: dealt with it. I dealt with it. Jumping wasn't my thing.

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Speaker 1: The The reality is I'm not graceful. I'm not smooth.

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Speaker 1: When I walk, you know, you wouldn't know, But when

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Speaker 1: I run, you can tell there's something wrong. Like I

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Speaker 1: look like and I've always looked like this. As I've

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Speaker 1: gotten older, nothing's changed. The thing about me being so

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Speaker 1: slow and so sort of uncoordinated as a child. I'm

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Speaker 1: not un coordinate because I could catch the fucking ball.

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Speaker 1: I got great hand eye coordination. I'm a fantastic ping

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Speaker 1: punk player all right, even though there's probably some people

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Speaker 1: out there saying, no, you're not. I whipped your ass.

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Speaker 1: Doug Ellen, a friend of mine. Yeah, I dropped name.

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Speaker 1: I name dropped the creative entourage. This fucking guy is

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Speaker 1: a really good ping punk player, Doug Ellen. But the

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00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:03,719
Speaker 1: motherfucker has a Ping pong coach. What kind of bullshit

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Speaker 1: boogie ass ship is that? So yeah, he whooped my

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Speaker 1: ass probably like six games to zip right now. I

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Speaker 1: can't beat him. I will not be able to beat

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Speaker 1: Doug Ellen, the creator ranthurag and ping punk until I

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Speaker 1: get a ping punk coach. But I could play ping pong. Well,

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Speaker 1: if you saw me jump rope, you'd be like, this

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Speaker 1: guy is a fucking real athlete. Like he could probably

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Speaker 1: like compete in the triple jump and like the javelin

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Speaker 1: he could. The way I jump rope, you think I

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Speaker 1: could do all sorts of ship, I could, you know,

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Speaker 1: through the pitter patter, I could do the double jump,

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Speaker 1: the double under. And that's because when I was a kid,

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Speaker 1: I saw a Rocky and Rocky was a good jump roper,

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Speaker 1: and and for some reason I've just been able I

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Speaker 1: could jump rope. If you saw me jump rope and

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Speaker 1: put the puppet fast one ft two ft skipping, hopping,

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Speaker 1: moving through in the double Dutch. I could do it all.

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Speaker 1: I could do it all on the jump rope. But

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Speaker 1: if it comes to just a straight run down the

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Speaker 1: street a sprint, you're gonna be like, You're gonna feel

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Speaker 1: bad for me. I look fucked up. So I've been

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Speaker 1: doing cross fit now. This CrossFit ship is of motherfucker boy.

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Speaker 1: They make you do shit that you've never done in

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Speaker 1: your most athletic life. In pe class, if you ever

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Speaker 1: went to sleep away camp or or or or like

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Speaker 1: been on like you know, the Fresh Air Fund, or

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Speaker 1: or went away to like the woods, or if you

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Speaker 1: were at the park when you were a kid and

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Speaker 1: you were board. They've come up with all sorts of

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Speaker 1: ship that you've never done. And they expect me, a

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Speaker 1: forty four year old Ashkenazi Jew from the East side

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Speaker 1: of Manhattan, to walk in there and do this ship.

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Speaker 1: And they look at you, they judge you. Now, I

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Speaker 1: know they're not trying to judge you, but it's just

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Speaker 1: that it's just the nature of the beast. These trainers

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Speaker 1: at this cross fit place, they're like, Okay, first day,

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Speaker 1: They're like all right, there's a rope twelve feet in

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Speaker 1: the air. Can you climb it? Fuck? No, I can't

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Speaker 1: climb it. I couldn't climb it when I was twelve.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't climb that fucking rope when I was twenty,

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Speaker 1: and I ain't gonna fucking climb that ship. Now they're like,

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Speaker 1: all right, well this is how you do it. You

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Speaker 1: gotta work on your technique to climb the rope. So

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm well, should I wear glove? What are

385
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Speaker 1: my hands? You know, it's like one of these outdoors ropes.

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00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,200
Speaker 1: It's like a rope that like you know Ninja people

387
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 1: or Tom Cruise would climb a building in a in

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00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 1: a movie with or you know, Jackie Chan could run

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Speaker 1: up the rope like it's like a fucking piece of rope,

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00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,800
Speaker 1: like a big thick piece of coarse rope. Well, what

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Speaker 1: about my hands? You don't need anything for your hands.

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Speaker 1: It's good to develop callous funk that ship. I got

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Speaker 1: nice baby soft hands, you know, I got I got

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Speaker 1: soft hands. You know, they're not like they're not tough,

395
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 1: they're they're they're soft. So you get into these cross

396
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 1: fit classes and they're like, all right, today's exercises are

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Speaker 1: gonna be uh, you know, seventy five jumping jack's, thirty

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Speaker 1: push ups, twenty squats for the warm up. Okay, now

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Speaker 1: that's that's a fucking full day's workout for me, okay,

400
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:21,280
Speaker 1: and then then after that you do some sort of

401
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:25,000
Speaker 1: strength exercise, like you might take a sledgehammer and beat

402
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:30,960
Speaker 1: a huge tire up for five minutes straight, or what

403
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,360
Speaker 1: are the kind of They got all these monkey walks

404
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:36,760
Speaker 1: and spider man climbs, and you know, they got like

405
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:40,119
Speaker 1: got they got They do everything CrossFit, they do everything,

406
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:44,879
Speaker 1: every kind of exercise that you've ever seen a construction

407
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:49,240
Speaker 1: worker do, or like if you've seen like training videos

408
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:53,720
Speaker 1: for the Marines, they do like electrocuting, like stay low,

409
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:56,040
Speaker 1: stay low, little little They'll hit you with things and

410
00:23:56,320 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 1: they lifting weights Olympics, you know, like bend over, dip

411
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:08,040
Speaker 1: your legs, air squats, and you know, I don't even

412
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 1: know the fucking calculations of what they got you got

413
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,439
Speaker 1: you doing, But one of the first things they had

414
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:17,119
Speaker 1: me doing was climbing these ropes. That was the strength thing.

415
00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:20,560
Speaker 1: We're gonna climb this rope. These are things that you're

416
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,639
Speaker 1: either born with or you're not you know, like you know,

417
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:24,639
Speaker 1: like you go to a like if you kids, If

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Speaker 1: you go to a park you watch a bunch of

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Speaker 1: kids playing, like you go to a like a p class,

420
00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:31,440
Speaker 1: you watch third graders. You're gonna see certain kids could

421
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:37,360
Speaker 1: do certain things. I was good at kickball, basketball, football,

422
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,199
Speaker 1: but I wasn't the monkey bar type of person. That

423
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,119
Speaker 1: was never the thing I was doing. So to ask

424
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 1: me at my age to to to climb a rope,

425
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:53,600
Speaker 1: like a real rope with no support, no assistance, and

426
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 1: I'm so climb twelve feet in the air, fucking bullshit.

427
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 1: And they're like, all right, Mike, we're gonna do five

428
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:03,479
Speaker 1: sets of the in five minutes and it's for time.

429
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:07,440
Speaker 1: And in between you're gonna do you know, you're gonna

430
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 1: lift this, you know, seventy five pound bar over your head,

431
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 1: So you're gonna do climb the fucking rope and then

432
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,800
Speaker 1: lift the seventy five pound bar over your head. Funk

433
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 1: out of here, man, I walk out of there. My

434
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:22,560
Speaker 1: hands are bleeding, my legs are shaking, some of my

435
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 1: calfs are are chafed, and you know they're bleeding because

436
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 1: I'm trying to wrap my calves around the rope and

437
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 1: they're like, well, you should have wore your high your

438
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:34,119
Speaker 1: high socks. I didn't get there. I didn't get the

439
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 1: memo about wearing the high socks, you know. And I

440
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 1: I didn't bring like duct tape to to take my hands.

441
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:43,600
Speaker 1: But I gotta say, I'm getting in shape, you know,

442
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,880
Speaker 1: I'm sticking with it. I'm sticking with the CrossFit. I'm

443
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 1: getting in shape. I'm looking ripped my delt toys. They're

444
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:54,200
Speaker 1: they're they're fantastic. And then the other thing I'm doing

445
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:58,360
Speaker 1: is I do these classes at this fitness place here

446
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:03,120
Speaker 1: in Manhattan on the Upper re Signed, and these fitness

447
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:08,240
Speaker 1: classes it's you go in there at the same type

448
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:12,119
Speaker 1: of ship. It's like me and it's like twenty people

449
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,440
Speaker 1: is the maximum I think in the class or fifteen

450
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 1: people and uh, the classes it's just me and like

451
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 1: fifteen yentas, fifteen women, you know, fifteen Jewish women. They

452
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:29,720
Speaker 1: gotta be Jewish if they're not Jewish. I mean, my, my, my,

453
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:34,120
Speaker 1: my Judar. I know jew Jewish ladies when I see them, okay,

454
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:38,359
Speaker 1: because my mother's along Island jew and they all have

455
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 1: that twang if you know what I mean. Okay, And

456
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 1: I mean it with the most affection that you could

457
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:46,520
Speaker 1: have for that twang, but that fucking twang, that Upper

458
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:49,960
Speaker 1: East Side fucking twang. And they come in there and

459
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:53,920
Speaker 1: they're Lulu Lan and they're Athletica Nike Ship and they're

460
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:57,880
Speaker 1: all dipping around and I just dropped off my son

461
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,200
Speaker 1: and oh a yeah, and the kid didn't sleep last

462
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:03,439
Speaker 1: night and all this ship and blah blah blah, and

463
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 1: they're ready to fucking rock and roll. Man, They're they're,

464
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 1: they're they're jumping around there, you know, they're they're talking.

465
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 1: A couple of them coming with like bagels. I mean,

466
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:15,800
Speaker 1: I'm scared shit. Every fucking time I've been to the

467
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:18,439
Speaker 1: class thirty times. I'm scared ship. Every time I entered there,

468
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 1: I don't know what what what I'm walking into. And uh,

469
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 1: you know this class I did the other day, I

470
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:29,919
Speaker 1: was the only man in the class. So so of

471
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 1: course I gotta be made, uh you know, put on blast,

472
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:36,919
Speaker 1: and I gotta be uh, you know, pointed out like

473
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 1: you should be able to do everything in front of

474
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:42,560
Speaker 1: everybody because you're in here with all these yenta jew broods.

475
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 1: So I'm trying my best to, like, you know, show

476
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,679
Speaker 1: up and like, you know, be the man about town,

477
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,720
Speaker 1: although I know inside like all these fucking crazy ladies

478
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 1: are are in better shape than me. They're all hyped

479
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,960
Speaker 1: up and jacked up on Starbucks and coffee and who

480
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 1: the funk else knows what they're taking. So we start

481
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 1: the class and the ladies like, all right, as we

482
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 1: do the warm up. I'm good with the warm up,

483
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:07,639
Speaker 1: you know, because I've been training when my CrossFit and

484
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:11,200
Speaker 1: I go to the class and there's rowing machines, they're

485
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,760
Speaker 1: fucking kettlebells. When did kettle bells become a common thing.

486
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 1: That's like shipped from the Stone Age, and now all

487
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:20,680
Speaker 1: of a sudden, every gym everywhere you go, there was

488
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,639
Speaker 1: kettle bells. In the nineties, there was never kettle bells.

489
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,960
Speaker 1: Now these things are back wherever. The fucking time you

490
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,240
Speaker 1: go to a gym there and you swing the kettlebells

491
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:33,120
Speaker 1: you lift, you'd be shocked at the amount of different

492
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:36,400
Speaker 1: variations you could do with these fucking kettle bells. That's

493
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 1: like shipped from the flintstones, like band band would work

494
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:43,000
Speaker 1: out with kettlebells, you know, Like kettle bells are like

495
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 1: for like doorstops, but now they got kettlebells all over,

496
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:50,480
Speaker 1: and they got five pounds ten pounds. Those ones are

497
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 1: like pink, their colored covered in pink, so I'm assuming

498
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,200
Speaker 1: those are not for the men. And then there's like

499
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 1: twelve pounds, fourteen pounds, fourteen and a half pounds, sixteen pounds,

500
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 1: eighteen pounds poundstund fifty pound kettle bells. I can't do

501
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:10,320
Speaker 1: a ship with a fifty pound kettle bell. So they're like,

502
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 1: and you know, so we're gonna do the warm up

503
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 1: and then we're gonna get on the rowing machine and

504
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 1: everybody pick up a kettle bell. So I go right

505
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 1: over to the pink ones. I get me a ten

506
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:23,920
Speaker 1: pound kettle bell, you know. And these centers they got

507
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 1: twenty pound one swinging them and thrust your hips. You

508
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,960
Speaker 1: do these these hip thrusters where you put the kettle

509
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:33,480
Speaker 1: bell between your legs and you're supposed to swing it,

510
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 1: you know, twenty times or for a minute until you

511
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 1: fucking it. Don't stop until you throw up or or

512
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 1: or you basically you you like a vertebrate pops through

513
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 1: your skin. So they got these TRX straps, which are

514
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 1: these uh like mountain climbing um type materials straps that

515
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 1: are hanging, and you could hang, you can lift yourself,

516
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 1: and you're supposed to do it with body weight. Now,

517
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:06,840
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm tipping the scales right now about to eighteen,

518
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 1: all right, and I'm fucking fit. That's a fit six

519
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 1: three all ju everything, piece of steel. Like I'm, I'm,

520
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 1: I'm a rock. I'm a fucking rock. Two eighteen maybe

521
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 1: two d. I don't know who the fuck knows. It

522
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. The weight doesn't matter to me anymore. It's

523
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 1: it's the looks. The looks I get the shoulders, you know,

524
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 1: the shoulders, the broad shoulders, the you know, mildly flat,

525
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 1: sort of flabby, you know, mid section, but it's thin,

526
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 1: you know. It's I don't have a six pack, I

527
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 1: got nothing, nothing, No abs are showing. But but I'm

528
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:50,440
Speaker 1: I'm looking good. I'm looking all right, you know. And uh,

529
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:53,959
Speaker 1: these little fucking broads are like couldn't weigh more than

530
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 1: a hundred twenty pounds. So you're supposed to hang from

531
00:30:57,160 --> 00:31:01,120
Speaker 1: the trxtrap like on your backs, like your your heads,

532
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 1: like you know, if you let go of the TRX trap,

533
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,959
Speaker 1: you're gonna kill yourself. You're definitely gonna diet or you're

534
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:10,000
Speaker 1: gonna knock yourself out, give yourself a concussion. And they're like,

535
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,440
Speaker 1: you know, come on, you're the man of the class.

536
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,280
Speaker 1: You're supposed to be doing more. Fuck you lady, it's

537
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 1: a it's a female teacher to fuck you all right,

538
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 1: I'm too twenty. These fucking ladies are like little toothpicks,

539
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 1: you know. They're all fucking hopped up on coffee bean

540
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 1: and and and I don't know, man, they're pulling themselves up.

541
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 1: I'm like doing three in a minute. They're like, you know,

542
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:37,200
Speaker 1: get twenty in in a minute. Fuck fuck off. So

543
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 1: we do that the kettlebell. Then they have these other

544
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 1: concoctions in there, these I know, balls, you could they

545
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 1: got medicine balls like Rocky used to use, you know,

546
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:50,960
Speaker 1: like he did it with the medicine ball. You're lifting them.

547
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 1: You're doing push ups on the one hand. That push

548
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 1: ups two hand and push up. The ladies actually telling

549
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 1: us we want to do push ups with a clap.

550
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,080
Speaker 1: Do you know what would happen to me if I

551
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 1: attempted to do a clapping push up where you push

552
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:09,600
Speaker 1: up and then you're supposed to push yourself up enough

553
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 1: in the air that you could clap? Do you do

554
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:17,080
Speaker 1: you understand what would actually happen to me if if

555
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:20,840
Speaker 1: I actually attempted to do a clapping push up, I

556
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 1: would break my fucking face. So there's that, and and

557
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 1: then there's a rowing machine. And I'm good at the

558
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 1: rowing because of my training with the cross fit, and

559
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:34,440
Speaker 1: I'm long, so rowing where I have long arms and

560
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 1: long legs, so I have a naturally like what you

561
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:41,160
Speaker 1: would call a rower's body I have. I'm built for rowing,

562
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 1: so I'm good at that. So she in front of

563
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 1: the whole class tells me, we need you, just pointing

564
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:55,880
Speaker 1: at me, we need you to do fives in two minutes. Okay,

565
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 1: that's like professional ship. So I'm like, all right, you

566
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 1: want to can try to shame me in front of

567
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 1: the whole class. Now this is in the station, so

568
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:09,000
Speaker 1: we need you don't know my name, just pointing to

569
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 1: the only dick swinger in there, all right, I'm the

570
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 1: only uh coxman in there. So I go, all right,

571
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:18,400
Speaker 1: I got it, I got I got it? All right.

572
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 1: I don't want to be you know, these Jewish women

573
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:26,080
Speaker 1: are all like I start two minutes. I'm like, I'm

574
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 1: gonna get the fucking one minute I'm good, and I'm

575
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:32,560
Speaker 1: I'm I'm about two hundred sixty. I'm ahead of time,

576
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 1: so I know I but the only way I'm at

577
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 1: two hundred and sixty meters. I got one more minute

578
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:42,720
Speaker 1: to go, and this last minute is fucking all out hell.

579
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 1: So I'm rowing, rowing, rowing, and and I'm like, I'm

580
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:50,320
Speaker 1: gonna win. And then she's like, well, Susie's gonna catch up.

581
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:55,959
Speaker 1: Susie's gonna she's gonna do five too, and and so

582
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, this is my this is my moment

583
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 1: to shine, you fucking bitch. This is this is me.

584
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 1: I'm this is my time. So she's like ten seconds, Oh,

585
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,000
Speaker 1: Susie's gonna beat you, and she's not looking at what

586
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 1: I'm accomplishing. I can't talk right now because I'm like,

587
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:15,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna hypervently, but I'm I'm on time. I'm there's

588
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 1: like ten seconds and I'm at like four D and

589
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:22,360
Speaker 1: then she's like nine eight. Susie got to five hundred,

590
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 1: and by fucking I got to five hundred at the

591
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 1: same time. Susie or Jennifer, I don't know what the

592
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,920
Speaker 1: hell of lady's name was. She got to five hundred.

593
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 1: So She's like, Susie beat you bullshit. So by the

594
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,479
Speaker 1: time I got to two minutes, I had like five

595
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 1: hundred and seventeen meters and this fucking Susie or I

596
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:46,359
Speaker 1: don't know what her name was, Sarah or something, she

597
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 1: gets all the glory. So they're like yeah, and they're

598
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 1: all high fiving each other and chest bumping each other,

599
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:56,479
Speaker 1: like mocking the big guy in there. I never said

600
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 1: I was gonna win, but but to myself, I was like,

601
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:02,240
Speaker 1: I'm gonna fucking be these broads. They're they're like five

602
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 1: three five four, They're all little tooth picks. I could

603
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 1: I could do this, So that moment of glory is

604
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:13,279
Speaker 1: taken away. It appears as if I lost the race.

605
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:16,279
Speaker 1: But I actually won the race and I had five

606
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:20,440
Speaker 1: seventeen meters and this lady I didn't even see her.

607
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:22,759
Speaker 1: They probably were lying just to make me feel like shit.

608
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 1: So the next station, because you're supposed to do two

609
00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:32,200
Speaker 1: minutes of rowing and kill yourself to get to five,

610
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 1: I'm sweating, I'm breathing hard. I swear I thought I

611
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:41,839
Speaker 1: was gonna ship myself. I had swamp ass. So you're

612
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:44,480
Speaker 1: supposed to go from two minutes of all out rowing

613
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 1: to get to five. Do the math. That's a long, fast,

614
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:51,759
Speaker 1: hard two minutes. Then I'm supposed to go over to

615
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 1: the kettlebells and pick up a fucking She's like, increase

616
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:58,360
Speaker 1: the way. We're just doing squats for two minutes. Fuck

617
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:02,759
Speaker 1: you lady, Suck you lady. So I sat out the

618
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:06,960
Speaker 1: next station and these little uh, these little sugar plums,

619
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:10,359
Speaker 1: they're all running around going from station to station. I'm

620
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:15,360
Speaker 1: like seeing things like colors are flashing. She's like fucking

621
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 1: playing Nicki Minaj house music. I sat the whole next

622
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:22,440
Speaker 1: station out, and you know, I see them kind of

623
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 1: like looking at me, and and I'm I'm litting. I

624
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:28,839
Speaker 1: don't care. I'm laying in other people's sweat. I'm so

625
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:32,360
Speaker 1: disoriented at this point, and I don't know how these

626
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:35,279
Speaker 1: these ladies go from they go from one thing to

627
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 1: the next thing. So I decided to sit out the

628
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 1: next station, and I sat there with no shame. I

629
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:44,280
Speaker 1: didn't feel embarrassed. And they're jumping around with the kettlebells

630
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 1: and touching the grasses to the ground, squatting, touching their

631
00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:50,520
Speaker 1: asses to the ground, and popping up with twenty pound kettleballs.

632
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:52,400
Speaker 1: I don't even funk with twenty pounds. I fun with

633
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 1: ten pounds twelve pounds at the most. And I finished

634
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:58,440
Speaker 1: it out and I didn't get any eye contact from anyone.

635
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 1: Was like it was like they shamed me into feeling

636
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:05,040
Speaker 1: bad about myself the rest of the class. So I,

637
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 1: you know, I finished the class and they're like, nice job.

638
00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 1: Next time, maybe you could beat Susie. You know, fuck you, man.

639
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:16,799
Speaker 1: So I I got my workout in. I got my

640
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 1: workout in. I I felt good. But man, this is

641
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 1: the reality of it is is you know, I'm a

642
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 1: mid level fit guy, and I honestly feel that unless

643
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 1: you're like one of these like super fucking you know,

644
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 1: like you know, you've got great genetics, or you work

645
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 1: out every day and you drink Maka shakes and you

646
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 1: you take b twelve shots to the ass. I think

647
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:48,759
Speaker 1: in general, women are tougher than men, or women are

648
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:51,000
Speaker 1: just tougher than me. I don't maybe I shouldn't generalize

649
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 1: all men. You know, these classes, it's a real wake

650
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:58,720
Speaker 1: up call because these ladies, they they don't stop, man.

651
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 1: And these are not you know, like fitness models. These

652
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 1: are upper East Side Jewish ladies. I'm assuming the world Jewish.

653
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:09,520
Speaker 1: Most of them are Irish Catholic. I don't know what

654
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:12,279
Speaker 1: they are. I don't feel bad. I feel like that's

655
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:13,840
Speaker 1: the way it's supposed to be. Like they're supposed to

656
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:15,800
Speaker 1: be in better condition than me, and they're supposed to

657
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 1: be able to keep going longer than me. At first,

658
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 1: I felt like a little embarrassed, like a year ago.

659
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:23,320
Speaker 1: Now I don't give a ship and what else is

660
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:26,560
Speaker 1: going on? I gotta what else did I say we

661
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 1: were gonna do today? On the I M Rapp Report podcast.

662
00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 1: You know, I got a ESPN thirty for thirty that

663
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:40,240
Speaker 1: I directed called When the Garden Was Eating. That's right, people,

664
00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:43,319
Speaker 1: I directed a ESPN thirty for thirty that I'm very

665
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 1: excited about. It's about the nineteen seventy nineteen seventy three

666
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 1: New York Knicks teams, the Great New York Knicks teams,

667
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:57,280
Speaker 1: the Championship Knicks teams, Willis Read, Walt Frazier, Earl the Pearl, Monroe,

668
00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:00,799
Speaker 1: Phil Jackson, Dave the Bush or Bill brad the Dick

669
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 1: Barnett Dean manager. And it's not just about the Knicks.

670
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:08,320
Speaker 1: It's about the history of the NBA at that time

671
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:15,239
Speaker 1: and how those teams essentially catapulted the NBA into a

672
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:18,560
Speaker 1: mainstream league, and I'm very very proud of it. It

673
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:22,360
Speaker 1: airs October twenty one on ESPN When the Garden Was Eaten,

674
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,719
Speaker 1: and it will continue to air forever because they show

675
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:27,720
Speaker 1: him over and over and over, and UM, I couldn't

676
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:29,719
Speaker 1: be more excited about it. But I got to do

677
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 1: something very special. I was invited to the Knicks training

678
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 1: camp by Phil Jackson to screen the film for just

679
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,760
Speaker 1: the New York Knicks, the current Knicks, with Carmelo Anthony

680
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 1: and Mari Stotdomy R j R. Smith and the rest

681
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:52,840
Speaker 1: of them. Just a private event with the team, the

682
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 1: trainers and me. Can you fucking believe that? But I'm

683
00:39:57,160 --> 00:40:02,439
Speaker 1: gonna do uh When the Garden Was Eaten ESPN podcast

684
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 1: that's gonna be coming up the week that the movie premiers,

685
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:09,880
Speaker 1: and uh, I'm very very excited to talk about that.

686
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:11,440
Speaker 1: That was a big deal for me. I'll give you

687
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:13,840
Speaker 1: a little thing. I had dinner with the New York Knicks.

688
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:16,600
Speaker 1: All right, That's what I did. I had dinner with

689
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 1: the New York Knicks. I was in a hotel at

690
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 1: West Point up in West Point, New York. You know,

691
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:27,440
Speaker 1: historical West Point where all the Army cadets trained, very

692
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:29,839
Speaker 1: very very a lot of history that you could feel

693
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:33,280
Speaker 1: the history. I had dinner with the Knicks. The Knicks,

694
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:35,359
Speaker 1: We're looking at me like what the fund is Michael

695
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:37,720
Speaker 1: Rapport doing here? And I was like, I can't even

696
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 1: believe I'm at dinner with the New York Knicks. But

697
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:42,600
Speaker 1: it was. It was really cool. But I'm gonna go

698
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:45,400
Speaker 1: into all the details of that, uh for the special

699
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:49,359
Speaker 1: when the Garden was Eating podcast, And now we're gonna

700
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 1: get into this week's segment of Wigga Please Dun Dun Dun. Yeah,

701
00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:00,759
Speaker 1: that's the theme music for Wigga Please you like that

702
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 1: theme music? That's actual theme music for Wigga Please Damn.

703
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:11,359
Speaker 1: It's become so popular we actually were able to come

704
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:16,520
Speaker 1: up with special exclusive theme music. We're gonna break it

705
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:20,759
Speaker 1: up a little bit, but this week's segment, there's a

706
00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:27,319
Speaker 1: dude who plays for the New York Jets. Okay, the

707
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 1: New York Jets, New York Football Jets have a player.

708
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 1: This fucking guy's name is de brick A Shaw Ferguson.

709
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 1: His first name is actually the Bricka Shaw Ferguson. Wigga Please, yo,

710
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:53,440
Speaker 1: Who the mother and the father of the Bricka Shaw Ferguson,

711
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 1: you get, Wigga, mother, fucking please, what the fuck were

712
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:03,480
Speaker 1: you incoln naming your son the brick a Shaw Like?

713
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:05,680
Speaker 1: I don't even know what I was trying to do

714
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 1: the math on this, Like did you want like was

715
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 1: he big like a brick? You could have just named

716
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 1: him brick du brick a Shaw? Like is there somebody

717
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:20,240
Speaker 1: named like like a cousin you like, maybe Sean? There's

718
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 1: no fucking excuse. There is no reason in hell to

719
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:30,359
Speaker 1: name your son the brick a Shaw Like you don't

720
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:32,440
Speaker 1: even need a middle name. There can't be him. The

721
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 1: brick a Shaw Ferguson cannot have a middle name because

722
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: his first name is so fucked up that what could

723
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:43,319
Speaker 1: top the brick a Shaw. The parents of the brick

724
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:48,359
Speaker 1: a Shaw Ferguson, Wiga, please you staying this God, thank

725
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:51,520
Speaker 1: God he made something of himself. He's a professional football player.

726
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 1: But the adversity, the teasing, the confusion that this kid

727
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:04,240
Speaker 1: must have caused, and and it Messa del with growing up, Wigga,

728
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 1: please de bricker, They'll never be you know what, the

729
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:09,840
Speaker 1: brickis Shaw. There will never be another to Bricka Shaw

730
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:12,760
Speaker 1: like you Please don't name your son De Bricka shaw

731
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 1: Ferguson Jr. Or De Bricka shaw Ferguson the second. Let's

732
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:24,279
Speaker 1: end that cycle. You made it out of, out of,

733
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:27,960
Speaker 1: out of that name and that scrutiny. God bless you.

734
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:33,200
Speaker 1: All right, another one for the New York Jets. Got

735
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:36,880
Speaker 1: a wigga please? Geno Smith. And I know some of

736
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:40,400
Speaker 1: you may not be football fans, but Geno Smith is

737
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:43,480
Speaker 1: the current quarterback for the New York Jets. He's a

738
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:48,800
Speaker 1: second year quarterback. Had a great college career in West Virginia.

739
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 1: He's had a pro career, very very, very hot and cold.

740
00:43:55,360 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 1: Gino Smith last week during a game in in New York,

741
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:04,960
Speaker 1: started cursing out a fan because they were saying, Gino,

742
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 1: you fucking suck. And he starts saying, fuck you, I'll

743
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:09,360
Speaker 1: kick your fucking ass or whatever the funk he said.

744
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 1: And this asshole got himself fined and makes a spectacle

745
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:17,359
Speaker 1: of himself cursing out. This ain't West Virginia, all right.

746
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:19,719
Speaker 1: When you come out of the tunnel in the game

747
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:22,279
Speaker 1: to start the game, they're gonna be cursing at you

748
00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:26,399
Speaker 1: your own fans, Geno. This is New York. They're gonna

749
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:29,799
Speaker 1: be like, fuck you, Gino, you better not fucking suck today.

750
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:32,879
Speaker 1: That's that's the start of the game. And then if

751
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:37,240
Speaker 1: you continue and you're not doing well, it's gonna get worse.

752
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:41,640
Speaker 1: But Gino Smith decides to start cursing out. There's fifty

753
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:45,319
Speaker 1: fans at a Jets game. He starts cursing out the

754
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:48,520
Speaker 1: fans that are saying, Geno, you suck. And you know what, Gino,

755
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:52,120
Speaker 1: thus farest season, you do suck. But you don't get

756
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:56,320
Speaker 1: Wigga please for not playing well. You get Wigga please

757
00:44:56,920 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 1: for cursing out the fans. Wigga please, Yo, you're not

758
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:05,319
Speaker 1: playing well. You ain't in Virginia no more. This is

759
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:08,960
Speaker 1: New York City. If you're not showing up and doing

760
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 1: well during the games, you're gonna get cursed out. They're

761
00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:16,320
Speaker 1: gonna say things about you, your mom, your mom's cousin,

762
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:21,920
Speaker 1: your mom's best friend, your father, his fucking raggedy ass shoes,

763
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:26,319
Speaker 1: all sorts of ship. They're gonna be in your ass,

764
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:30,759
Speaker 1: Geno Smith, But you don't say anything. You played yourself.

765
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:36,960
Speaker 1: So for that, Geno Smith, Wigga, please, Wigga, motherfucking please.

766
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 1: The third Wigga Please of the week goes to this

767
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:50,120
Speaker 1: lady down in Florida. She looks a little uh overweight,

768
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:55,200
Speaker 1: no disrespect, and the giveaway that she's fucking whacked out

769
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:59,480
Speaker 1: of her tree on drugs is she's got face tattoos.

770
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:03,520
Speaker 1: She's got fucking face tattoos, she's got forehead tattoos, and

771
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:08,359
Speaker 1: she's got neck tattoos. I'm sorry, I know a couple

772
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 1: of people with tattoos on their face. A couple of guys,

773
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 1: got a couple of tattoos on their face. Good friend

774
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:19,920
Speaker 1: of mine, fucking next all tattooed. But when you are

775
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:24,680
Speaker 1: a female and you have like some sort of tribal

776
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 1: mask and random shit like you got like, uh, you

777
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:35,319
Speaker 1: know your boyfriends, you know, you know initials, you got

778
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:40,040
Speaker 1: like a random like you know, Houston Astro sign tattooed

779
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:44,560
Speaker 1: on your cheek, you're guilty of something and it's probably

780
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:48,279
Speaker 1: of doing some kind of fucking cocktail of drugs. But

781
00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:52,920
Speaker 1: this lady down in Mississippi, Lisa Carol Roach, apparently, you

782
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 1: gotta say apparently because otherwise they'll try to sue you.

783
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:58,799
Speaker 1: Even here on the I M. Rappaport podcast, They'll try

784
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:04,080
Speaker 1: to fucking sue you. This lady, Lisa Carol Roach, ms

785
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:09,320
Speaker 1: Roach was allegedly, you gotta say, allegedly caught stealing sunglasses

786
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:14,400
Speaker 1: and other items from her kids school. And this fucking

787
00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:17,920
Speaker 1: crazy lady when she when they found her, she says

788
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:22,440
Speaker 1: she wasn't stealing on anything. She was looking for ices.

789
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:26,400
Speaker 1: She was looking for the the the Islamic and Syrian

790
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 1: group ISIS and she felt like she was doing a

791
00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:35,920
Speaker 1: service by doing this. She was patrolling her kids parking

792
00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:42,040
Speaker 1: lot at her school and not stealing. Now this is

793
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:47,760
Speaker 1: not a visual medium, a podcast, but this fucking this lady.

794
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,319
Speaker 1: I mean, she's all tattooed on her face and her

795
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:54,600
Speaker 1: in her in her hairline. Wiga, Please do you think

796
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:57,360
Speaker 1: we're dealing with here? A couple of assholes. We know

797
00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 1: you weren't looking for ices. Ms coach, You whack the

798
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 1: funk out on meth coke and and some sort of

799
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:11,520
Speaker 1: other pills. You're a pill popper, all right, Wigga. Please,

800
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 1: we're gonna put you in the fucking cooler. We're gonna

801
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:17,719
Speaker 1: let you cool off, and we're gonna let you get

802
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:19,919
Speaker 1: your fucking mind right. I don't know what you're gonna

803
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:22,000
Speaker 1: do with your life now if you sober up. I

804
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:23,600
Speaker 1: don't know what the funk you're gonna do with your

805
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,239
Speaker 1: life now anyway, because your whole face is tattooed. You

806
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 1: look fucking crazy, So you get Wigga please calm the

807
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:35,440
Speaker 1: funk down, get off the drugs, get your mind together,

808
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:38,839
Speaker 1: all right, and then come back and talk to us

809
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 1: in the meantime. Wigga please. The fourth and final Wigga please.

810
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:50,600
Speaker 1: I don't even know who this goes to. This one

811
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:55,440
Speaker 1: is really, really, really disturbing to me. The rapper Drake,

812
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:58,719
Speaker 1: who who I have talked about now. I want to

813
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:02,920
Speaker 1: clarify a couple of things. I like Drake. I've met Drake.

814
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:09,880
Speaker 1: He's a very very nice guy. But Drake, well, I

815
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:12,400
Speaker 1: just want to say this for the record, Drake's speaking voice.

816
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:15,840
Speaker 1: He's got to fix that up because for a sex symbol,

817
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:18,880
Speaker 1: that's what he is. The girls like him. The girls

818
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:22,320
Speaker 1: made him. Drake became Drake because the ladies loved Drake.

819
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 1: You know how the ladies loved cool J LLL cool J.

820
00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:28,680
Speaker 1: But he was sick so one of the best ever rappers.

821
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:32,480
Speaker 1: LL cool J can't even compare him to Drake. Fucking

822
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:43,200
Speaker 1: Drake has more Top one hundred singles then the motherfucking beatles. Wigga, please,

823
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:48,120
Speaker 1: the fact that Drake has more anything than the Beatles

824
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 1: is wigga, Please how the fund did this happen? It's

825
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:59,120
Speaker 1: it's not even about Drake. It's more about the music industry.

826
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:04,400
Speaker 1: The music isn't this as a whole. Drake and I

827
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:07,759
Speaker 1: have no steak in the Beatles. I'm not even a

828
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:11,560
Speaker 1: big Beatles fan. I I go with the Rolling Stones

829
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:15,239
Speaker 1: and led Zeppelin before the Beatles. Of course, I know

830
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:19,160
Speaker 1: the hits. I liked the songs like everybody else, Love

831
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:24,320
Speaker 1: Love Me, Do We Always Love You? All the big ones,

832
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:28,239
Speaker 1: I know him all. My mom's a huge Beatles fan.

833
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:31,360
Speaker 1: My mom was at the Odd Sullivan Show when the

834
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:33,279
Speaker 1: Beatles first came to New York. She was like one

835
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:36,320
Speaker 1: of those crazy ladies that would show up when the

836
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:39,080
Speaker 1: Beatles were and she would be there when you know,

837
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,759
Speaker 1: she wasn't necessarily supposed to be there. So I have

838
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:43,600
Speaker 1: a soft spot for the Beatles. But I'm more of

839
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:47,320
Speaker 1: a Rolling Stones guy. I'm more of a led Zeppelin guy.

840
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:52,719
Speaker 1: But I know John, George Ringo and Paul I know

841
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:57,760
Speaker 1: the whole fucking drill. But somehow or another, after being

842
00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:00,040
Speaker 1: in the music business for I don't know when to

843
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:03,319
Speaker 1: Drake pop up on the scene five years ago. He's

844
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:09,279
Speaker 1: got more hit songs then the fucking Beatles. This is

845
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:15,640
Speaker 1: fucking crazy, man. So Drake, you get Wigga please? The Beatles,

846
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:18,200
Speaker 1: you get Wigga please? How the fund are you gonna

847
00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:22,319
Speaker 1: let Drake become have more hit songs than you and

848
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:25,960
Speaker 1: the music industry itself? Wigga please? Man, it's all funked

849
00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 1: up man. You you you could piss out the window

850
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:30,680
Speaker 1: and it might sound right and you could get a

851
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:33,600
Speaker 1: song on top one hundreds. These days, it doesn't take

852
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:36,239
Speaker 1: anything to become You don't have a song on the

853
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:40,400
Speaker 1: top one hundreds anymore. So that's a group Wigga please?

854
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:45,200
Speaker 1: All right? So that's Wigga Police Segment of the week.

855
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:49,920
Speaker 1: People are going crazy up for it. It's copy written.

856
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:52,200
Speaker 1: If you try to steal it, a fucking sue you.

857
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 1: We we We've copyrighted Wigga Please. I owned the rights

858
00:51:57,239 --> 00:52:00,120
Speaker 1: to the Wigga Police segment. Don't try to steal it.

859
00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:05,320
Speaker 1: I invented it, I lived it. What can I say?

860
00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:09,319
Speaker 1: Some people might say I'm a creative genius. All right,

861
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:12,319
Speaker 1: this is Michael Rappaport and you're listening to the I

862
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:18,000
Speaker 1: Am Rappaport podcast. Now we're gonna do something very very

863
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:21,319
Speaker 1: special right now. This is another segment. It's the Verse

864
00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 1: of the Week, and I am gonna have my my

865
00:52:25,239 --> 00:52:30,440
Speaker 1: nephew Duncan. He's going to uh, he's going to recite

866
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:33,680
Speaker 1: the Verse of the Week and and I'm going to, uh,

867
00:52:33,719 --> 00:52:36,360
Speaker 1: you know, then I'm gonna talk about why it's the

868
00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:39,520
Speaker 1: Verse of the Week, and uh, I'm gonna bring him on.

869
00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:41,640
Speaker 1: He Now he said he wasn't gonna be shy and

870
00:52:41,680 --> 00:52:45,879
Speaker 1: fucked U up. But uh, but but just bear with me,

871
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:50,600
Speaker 1: um and just be patient with him. So we're gonna

872
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:55,959
Speaker 1: bring him Duncan. Yeah, yeah, come on all I'm gonna

873
00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:58,800
Speaker 1: get him in here. He's coming in. Are you ready

874
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:02,839
Speaker 1: to do this? Yeah? Okay, Well now we're we're gonna,

875
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:05,319
Speaker 1: we're gonna. You're on the air now we're live here,

876
00:53:06,080 --> 00:53:12,880
Speaker 1: all right, so say hello, Hi, Duncan. Don't be shy, alright.

877
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:15,800
Speaker 1: Remember we said you weren't gonna be shy, and you weren't. Uh,

878
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:18,920
Speaker 1: you weren't gonna you weren't gonna, you know, get scared. Okay,

879
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:20,680
Speaker 1: because you know right now it's just you and me

880
00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:26,160
Speaker 1: in here. Okay, I'm I hear my, I hear my.

881
00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:30,640
Speaker 1: Uh I hear my myself and the headphones. I know

882
00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:33,879
Speaker 1: that's because you're you're talking into it. Okay, now listen,

883
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:35,879
Speaker 1: don't don't worry about that ship now, Duncan. Well, we're

884
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:37,560
Speaker 1: gonna worry about now is I want you to do.

885
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:39,960
Speaker 1: We're gonna go to the song of the week. We're

886
00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:42,680
Speaker 1: gonna go Ignorant Ship all right with jay Z and

887
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:45,960
Speaker 1: Beanie Signal. You said you liked that song. You you

888
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:49,920
Speaker 1: you picked it? My my, my nephew, Duncan. He picked

889
00:53:49,920 --> 00:53:53,840
Speaker 1: the song Ignorant Ship, which is a song that we

890
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:57,120
Speaker 1: listened to on the way to the games. He's playing

891
00:53:57,160 --> 00:54:01,799
Speaker 1: flag football and basketball now. And uh, you know this

892
00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:05,560
Speaker 1: is a song he loves. He fucking didn't you? You

893
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:09,640
Speaker 1: pick the song? Yeah, I like that song and and

894
00:54:09,640 --> 00:54:13,320
Speaker 1: and you you you uh, you're You're gonna recite the lyrics.

895
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:17,520
Speaker 1: It's a song off the American Gangster soundtrack. Not not

896
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:19,680
Speaker 1: much traction on this song. It's one of those songs

897
00:54:19,719 --> 00:54:22,440
Speaker 1: for like the Real Law, the Real Jigger Man fans

898
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:30,040
Speaker 1: jay z Jova's best I know, we love him, right, yeah, alright,

899
00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:33,880
Speaker 1: So so I want you to read the lyrics, all right,

900
00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:37,960
Speaker 1: So don't but I'm still hearing. I hear you in

901
00:54:38,040 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 1: my my headphones. I know I know you hear me

902
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:44,480
Speaker 1: in the headphones. Okay, we're gonna, you know, get into

903
00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:48,640
Speaker 1: the song ignorant shit. Okay, all right, all right, now

904
00:54:48,680 --> 00:54:53,080
Speaker 1: go say the lyrics. But I don't hear I don't

905
00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:54,880
Speaker 1: hear the music. I know, I know you don't hear

906
00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:57,440
Speaker 1: the music. You're just gonna say the lyrics. Okay, I

907
00:54:57,480 --> 00:55:00,080
Speaker 1: wrote them down, say say, you gotta just sam the

908
00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:02,560
Speaker 1: people no, because people don't know all the all the

909
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:06,080
Speaker 1: the words to ignorance shit with jay Z and Beanie Seagull.

910
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:11,240
Speaker 1: All right, can I go now? Yeah, just go, Okay,

911
00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:15,839
Speaker 1: do do the fucking do the verse, duncan just do

912
00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:23,200
Speaker 1: do the verse? Okay. I'm so bossy, bitch, get off me, tricks,

913
00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 1: get off me. You can't get shipped off me. That's good.

914
00:55:29,080 --> 00:55:36,360
Speaker 1: I'm so flossy. No six on sprees, laid back may backs,

915
00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:41,439
Speaker 1: don't even talk to me. This is the ignorant ship

916
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:43,799
Speaker 1: you like. I like that part. I know that's that's

917
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:48,720
Speaker 1: a good part. Um. I know, I know I beaped

918
00:55:48,719 --> 00:55:52,280
Speaker 1: out that word. Just just just say N word, N word,

919
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:57,719
Speaker 1: fuck shit, ass bitch trick plus ice we do that

920
00:55:57,800 --> 00:56:00,800
Speaker 1: line again. Hmm, well I don't I don't want to

921
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:04,120
Speaker 1: say that word. I don't just say N word and

922
00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:08,200
Speaker 1: word fuck shit, ass bitch trick plus ice come on,

923
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:17,560
Speaker 1: and word fuck shit ass bitch trick plus ice. I

924
00:56:17,640 --> 00:56:23,399
Speaker 1: got the IgG ignorant ignorant. I got the ignorant ship

925
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:30,440
Speaker 1: you love and word fuck shit. Remember I told you

926
00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:36,120
Speaker 1: that's the Spanish way occurs. Yeah, my madicone buta and

927
00:56:36,320 --> 00:56:42,520
Speaker 1: drugs come on, keep going. I got that ignorant ship

928
00:56:42,719 --> 00:56:50,000
Speaker 1: you need and word fuck shit, ass bitch trick plus weed.

929
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:54,040
Speaker 1: Come on. I'm only trying to give you what you

930
00:56:54,160 --> 00:56:59,440
Speaker 1: need and word fuck shit, ass bitch. You like it,

931
00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:04,720
Speaker 1: don't runt there. It is the verse. Good job, Duncan,

932
00:57:04,840 --> 00:57:08,200
Speaker 1: thank you. That's the verse of the week by my

933
00:57:08,320 --> 00:57:13,479
Speaker 1: nephew Duncan. It's off the American Gangster soundtrack We're gonna

934
00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:16,600
Speaker 1: let it rock in a little bit sample, great sample

935
00:57:16,640 --> 00:57:19,880
Speaker 1: by the Isley Brothers. And that's the song of the week,

936
00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:23,440
Speaker 1: ignorant ship and uh, as far as I'm concerned, that's

937
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:29,000
Speaker 1: a fucking very very uh very uh you know, sort

938
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:31,520
Speaker 1: of slept on track by Jay Z and Beanie Seagull.

939
00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:34,200
Speaker 1: I want to thank you Duncan for doing the first

940
00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:36,760
Speaker 1: segment of the verse of the week. We're gonna come

941
00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:41,520
Speaker 1: back and do this again. Um, you're welcome, but uncle

942
00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:44,480
Speaker 1: Michael listen, no, no, no no, no, let me finish recording. Alright.

943
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:46,800
Speaker 1: So that brings us to the close of this week's

944
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:52,880
Speaker 1: I Am Rappaport podcast. Listen to this funky funky, funky,

945
00:57:52,920 --> 00:58:04,320
Speaker 1: funky funky aspat in I did to invent, and ibet

946
00:58:04,560 --> 00:58:09,520
Speaker 1: to invent in IBT to be went in pet to

947
00:58:09,560 --> 00:58:12,920
Speaker 1: invent with I need to invent it