Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Speaker 1: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm PACIFICO. If
Speaker 1: you thought four hours a day, minutes a week was enough,
Speaker 1: I think again. He's the last remnants of the old republic,
Speaker 1: a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the
Speaker 1: ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in
Speaker 1: the penthouse the clearing House of hot takes break free
Speaker 1: for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts
Speaker 1: right now. Out of the floodgates, out of the floodgates.
Speaker 1: What is that gift? Guy? Out of starting gates. Floodgates. No,
Speaker 1: it's like it's like a horse race. You come out
Speaker 1: of the starting gates. There Sunday podcast here because four
Speaker 1: hours are not enough. Eight days a week now we
Speaker 1: are back at this a continuation of the Ben Maller
Speaker 1: radio Show, available on the podcast format. We thank you
Speaker 1: for supporting the podcast. Tell a friend. That's big word
Speaker 1: of mouth advertising, and people are looking for audio content
Speaker 1: now more than ever because people are cooped up at
Speaker 1: home and they're working out on their own. They're looking
Speaker 1: for stuff to listen to. So this is uh An
Speaker 1: opportunity for you subscribe and it's like said it and
Speaker 1: forget it. Ron Popeel, who would not come on this podcast.
Speaker 1: We tried to book Ron Popeel. I talked to his
Speaker 1: publicist and Ron's retired. He would not come on because
Speaker 1: we're not big enough names. But I still respect Ron
Speaker 1: Popeel and that great line said it and forget it
Speaker 1: the infomercial king from back in the day. And once
Speaker 1: you subscribe to the podcast, you get the podcast automatically.
Speaker 1: You don't have to go searching around for it. It
Speaker 1: automatically shows up when you go to your podcast the
Speaker 1: app on your phone there and you can check that out.
Speaker 1: So it is pretty pretty cool and we thank you
Speaker 1: for that and back. Unfortunately, I thought maybe he would
Speaker 1: take Saturday off from West of the four h five lot.
Speaker 1: Dah yippie kai a David Gascarro. I'd like to h
Speaker 1: bring myself into this party and say the fifth hour
Speaker 1: with Gascon is like taking a dump without butt wipes.
Speaker 1: I will not listen unless he is back. That is
Speaker 1: a great raving review that was given to us on
Speaker 1: the how about this one Apple iTunes. It was probably
Speaker 1: the first one I looked at. Andy good reason to Hey, Ben,
Speaker 1: can you please give me Ryan Smith's Twitter account? He
Speaker 1: was great. I want to follow him on Twitter. From
Speaker 1: Steve on Twitter. That was that one Stevie Wonder. I
Speaker 1: mean the guy a lot of people were dying to
Speaker 1: get more information on on Ryan. I mean, the guy
Speaker 1: was a star. I know you're jealous and you're upset,
Speaker 1: and you keep bringing this up, but I mean, you
Speaker 1: just got school. Do you the replace? It's like the
Speaker 1: old the line we used to have about Jim Rome
Speaker 1: back in the day when Rome was always paranoid. The
Speaker 1: legend was of Jim Rome. He was always paranoid. He
Speaker 1: didn't want to have anyone really good filling for him,
Speaker 1: so we guys like scrub guys fill in formed because
Speaker 1: you don't want anyone to show him up. You made
Speaker 1: the mistake of allowing a professional um just a confident.
Speaker 1: He's an ass hat and so are you for trying
Speaker 1: to pump him up like that. About this from Adrian Alvarez,
Speaker 1: Ben and Gascon. I have to give credit where credit
Speaker 1: is due. As much as I bust the West of
Speaker 1: the four or five guys, chops, I actually missed him
Speaker 1: this past weekend that Ryan Smith wrestler guy was horrible.
Speaker 1: He fucking sucked. You guys have absolutely much better chemistry
Speaker 1: on the podcast together than Ben and Ryan did. So
Speaker 1: Gascon stick around, would you, Adrian? I'll think about it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: one of many. Nobody wants you to stick around. All right, Uh,
Speaker 1: let me tell you something here. First of all, just
Speaker 1: because you went out and created a bunch of Gmail
Speaker 1: accounts to send yourself emails, I understand, um. Remember, all right,
Speaker 1: so you you it's you have selective choosing of the
Speaker 1: podt cast here and I go on with that note
Speaker 1: from Adrian I have he was really good? Did you
Speaker 1: want me to continue with that? Also, I'm dealing with
Speaker 1: my first hemorroid and I wanted to know if either
Speaker 1: one of you guys have ever had one and how
Speaker 1: you dealt with it. I've been going through preparation a routine,
Speaker 1: and the hemorroid seems to be shrinking slowly. I'll keep
Speaker 1: you guys posted. Ben asked Doc Doc Mike, how you
Speaker 1: deal with hemorrhoids? Please? You're you're so paranoid that I
Speaker 1: am going to read the next post. I have acknowledging
Speaker 1: one of the fans that wrote and took the time
Speaker 1: to see you didn't think you didn't think that I
Speaker 1: was gonna go look at the podcast information. I didn't
Speaker 1: think I was gonna look at it. And by the way,
Speaker 1: we need positive podcast views. We need the good podcast
Speaker 1: reviews five stars, five stars. Go on the podcast and
Speaker 1: give us the five star review on the Apple podcast page.
Speaker 1: It's very simple to do. I know it's paying the
Speaker 1: st We just gotta click a button. You don't have
Speaker 1: to write anything, but its nice of you do. I
Speaker 1: thought Marri Hannah or Marihuanna really summed up the pulse
Speaker 1: of the people here. So I'd like to read that
Speaker 1: if I can't have a little time here. Um yeah,
Speaker 1: So I thought this really was and this is really
Speaker 1: I've gotten. This is the feedback I've gotten. Marahna rights
Speaker 1: and says, I'm writing another five star review again just
Speaker 1: because the New Kid on the Block episode was so
Speaker 1: good and I enjoyed it so much, and I didn't
Speaker 1: miss the pompous a whole gascon and it was a
Speaker 1: huge relief. Hope to see more changes in an attempt
Speaker 1: to get better and to grow more. Well, thank you,
Speaker 1: and that's a five star review. Five stars. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much, Thank you so much. I I really do
Speaker 1: appreciate it. That was outstanding, out standing, And I guess
Speaker 1: would you like to have a rebuttal because that sums
Speaker 1: up what I'm getting the feedback I'm getting here. No
Speaker 1: one listens to this anyway, so it doesn't matter. We'll
Speaker 1: drop in the in the ocean. Well, when you're on,
Speaker 1: that's true, no one's listening. When other people are on,
Speaker 1: people seem to be listening. I don't know. Yeah, there
Speaker 1: you go. Who wrote that? By the way, Ah, that
Speaker 1: was Mari hunnah hun. Well fuck him too. How do
Speaker 1: you use You're assuming it's a it's a guy, it
Speaker 1: might be a woman. Now, No women love me. That's
Speaker 1: not true, that's what. That's not what I hear from
Speaker 1: Kentucky to Montana to Colorado. Just because because you are harassed,
Speaker 1: the women does not love you. I mean, just because
Speaker 1: they just want to pacify you so you go away.
Speaker 1: It's pursuing, that's what it is. Yeah, some people call
Speaker 1: it stockings. Also, it depends on listen. I haven't had
Speaker 1: any of my female fans offered me a blowjob like
Speaker 1: your male fans have offered you. That's that's fine. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean to each their own. Yeah, yeah, you know
Speaker 1: it's a man, and we get a problem with that. No,
Speaker 1: it's all you man, all right, I'm gitting accepted it.
Speaker 1: I'm just rich. It's a very giving act that you
Speaker 1: would be willing to all right. Anyway, we got pop
Speaker 1: quiz and the mailbag, so let's not dilly dally because
Speaker 1: time is a wasting gast. Go on, So we'll start
Speaker 1: with the pop quizzies are actual things I found around
Speaker 1: the internet and I found them interesting, and so we'll
Speaker 1: we'll go through these. I will quiz guest, go on.
Speaker 1: He will get them all wrong, uh, and then we
Speaker 1: will laugh at him and we will give you the answer.
Speaker 1: All right. So this was created fifties six years ago.
Speaker 1: It is something that you probably use every day. You
Speaker 1: could be using it right now. What is it? Cell
Speaker 1: phone charger? And I don't know. Um, well you said
Speaker 1: cell phone charger. That's your final answer. Now, ums, I'm
Speaker 1: using right now. It's something that you're probably using right
Speaker 1: now as well. Do a power cable? Do do do do? Do?
Speaker 1: Do do do? The computer mouse was created fifty six
Speaker 1: years ago. Yeah, that is interesting. That's in the you
Speaker 1: do the math on that you go back fifty six
Speaker 1: years that's in the nineteen sixties. They came up with
Speaker 1: this in the nineteen sixties. And my my dad worked
Speaker 1: in computers when when he was younger, and the computers
Speaker 1: were like they took up an entire rule, you know,
Speaker 1: the early computers, but they had the mouse. All right.
Speaker 1: Legend has it in the wild West, a way to
Speaker 1: cure this ailment was to have a tea made from
Speaker 1: rabbit shit. What ailment were they trying to fix? Rabbit shit?
Speaker 1: T repeat that one more time, all right, So back
Speaker 1: in the old wild West, on the frontier, the unsettled
Speaker 1: wild West. Uh, in order to treat this ailment, they
Speaker 1: believe that you made tea from robert a rabbit ship
Speaker 1: and that would be the way to solve your problems
Speaker 1: out there when you're a cowboy, um vigilante, wild bill, hiccock,
Speaker 1: I don't jock catch wow as a terrible guess. Uh No,
Speaker 1: hangover chicken pox, but hangover hang hangover? Yeah, keep drinking again?
Speaker 1: Too much whiskey at the saloon? And what should be salon?
Speaker 1: That's one of the great misspellings of all time, right
Speaker 1: that the term they were trying to get his salon,
Speaker 1: which is a European term and they misspelled it and
Speaker 1: so turned into saloon fun fact. All right, Uh, this
Speaker 1: South Pacific University is currently accepting or a a South
Speaker 1: Pacific University rather is currently accepting this item that you
Speaker 1: could find in the produce department as tuition. So you
Speaker 1: can pay your tuition with an item you can get
Speaker 1: at the at the grocery store or in the produce
Speaker 1: department Hawaii. No, no, no, I'm not gonna the piece
Speaker 1: of produce that you could use, not the location. Um
Speaker 1: pomegrant coconuts? All right? Why are coconuts so value? I
Speaker 1: don't know, they're not rare. I need more. I need
Speaker 1: to know more about that. Off to look that up
Speaker 1: are A survey of Americans between the ages of eleven
Speaker 1: and twenty four revealed surprisingly that fort of people in
Speaker 1: America between eleven and twenty four have never done this activity.
Speaker 1: What is it? Swam? No camp or hike? Oh wow,
Speaker 1: I get that. If you're a kid in a big city,
Speaker 1: you're not gonna go out of camping. When if you're
Speaker 1: in the Boy Scouts and the Girl Scouts, it's not
Speaker 1: five guests, and most kids aren't in the Boy Scouts
Speaker 1: of the girl's Scots. Didn't they get rid of boy scouts?
Speaker 1: Or isn't there scouts now? Because of the PC police,
Speaker 1: you can't get your merit badge on that one. Alright.
Speaker 1: A smart version of this very basic household item can
Speaker 1: be yours for a hundred and fifty dollars smart version
Speaker 1: remote control coaster. Fuck? Who the what does that? What
Speaker 1: does a smart coaster do? Now? I'm serious, like that
Speaker 1: couldn't possibly do? Could it keep the drink warmer or cool?
Speaker 1: Or maybe it actually drives up the condensation from the drink? Yeah? Maybe,
Speaker 1: but hundred and fifty bucks? All right? Nearly parents say
Speaker 1: they do this regularly at the dinner table. Belch. Now
Speaker 1: they eat their kids leftovers? Oh yeah, that makes sense, right,
Speaker 1: it makes some mac and cheese. You're like, hey, I
Speaker 1: want a little war mac and cheese. I mean, I'm good,
Speaker 1: all right? One third of us will do this by
Speaker 1: noon on Christmas Day? What is it? Sleep? No? Have
Speaker 1: a alcoholic beverage by noon? Wow? So you get up
Speaker 1: early because Santa's knocked on your door, You opened the
Speaker 1: presence and you're right to the open bar. Is that
Speaker 1: how that works? A little egg non, little klua, little
Speaker 1: little white Russian. Why not? Alright, of us will do
Speaker 1: this for extra money over the holidays. Strip, that's what
Speaker 1: that's what you would do. Sell. You worked at Chipping Deals,
Speaker 1: do you guess scout works at Chippendale's. I'm gonna say sell,
Speaker 1: sell memorabilia or sell some I don't know, personal artifacts. No,
Speaker 1: that is incorrect. It is actually, uh, make a side
Speaker 1: deal to say, hey, you know, I'm not gonna let's
Speaker 1: just not exchange gifts this year. So you save money
Speaker 1: on that. Okay, yeah, you save money on that. You
Speaker 1: don't have to exchange gifts and so there's that, all right.
Speaker 1: Christmas shopping can be very stressful for some uh you know,
Speaker 1: get the pandemic and all that. A new survey asked
Speaker 1: people about the most stressful parts of shopping for the holidays,
Speaker 1: and they said that trying to find the perfect gift
Speaker 1: gift came in at number one. What was number two?
Speaker 1: Number two was parking. That's actually a really good guess,
Speaker 1: but not in because uh, it's trying to find something
Speaker 1: that's sold out, like the hot video game PlayStation PlayStation five. Yeah. Uh.
Speaker 1: Sixty six percent of the world's population, not just America,
Speaker 1: the globe has never seen this an eclipse. No snow really, yeah,
Speaker 1: sixty six percent? How is that? I guess that's because
Speaker 1: is that because scent of the world it only snow.
Speaker 1: It must only snow in thirty percent of the world
Speaker 1: Otherwise I used Miller math on that, guest gun, he
Speaker 1: used Miller math on that. But I mean that seems
Speaker 1: but just the way that Europe is is set up,
Speaker 1: you should be able to travel to see snow and
Speaker 1: experience it. Russia, Um, well, like we usually live in
Speaker 1: We live in southern California, like we were. Fortunately we
Speaker 1: can go to the snow capped mountains above. But it
Speaker 1: doesn't snow if we didn't have the mountains. If you're
Speaker 1: in Kansas, although it does snow there, but it's weird.
Speaker 1: I I don't get. I guess South America does it not,
Speaker 1: must not snow a lot Florida. If you're in Brazil,
Speaker 1: does it snow? Or Argentina or something. I don't know.
Speaker 1: All right, due to the pandemic, we've been doing this
Speaker 1: an extra four hours a day. What is it. I'm
Speaker 1: doing it right now, playing on our phone, sitting on
Speaker 1: our butts, Yeah, sitting on our asses. It's not carriers
Speaker 1: or tail feathers. No, it's not. It's awful. Yeah, I've
Speaker 1: been trying to get out and get my body moving
Speaker 1: a little bit, but I have a job where I'm
Speaker 1: required to sit on my ass. But it's there for though.
Speaker 1: I mean, when you you have a four hour show,
Speaker 1: you have a few hours to prep and and obviously
Speaker 1: watch events. But people that have a typical nine to
Speaker 1: five I mean, well, I make this a nine to
Speaker 1: five job. Guess again, I turned this into But what
Speaker 1: I mean is you're just you're You're not stuck at
Speaker 1: a computer staring at at graphs and at print and
Speaker 1: at documents and you know, the redundant ship. You're actually
Speaker 1: watching live sporting events. Oh that is true. That is true,
Speaker 1: although not much. I I'm not into college basketball right now.
Speaker 1: I just can't get into it. So I have had
Speaker 1: a lot of free nights recently unless the NFL is playing.
Speaker 1: So the NBA is gonna get started up here at
Speaker 1: the end of the month, and I'll watch some of
Speaker 1: those games, but I can't get really all that worked
Speaker 1: up into that. Yeah, wait till the NBA media starts
Speaker 1: freaking out because you're gonna have teams, are gonna have
Speaker 1: the coronavirus and all that, and they're gonna, oh, you
Speaker 1: should have had a bubble Adam Silver doesn't care about
Speaker 1: the players. Oh my gotta Now, what would you do
Speaker 1: as a member of the media if they require you
Speaker 1: to have a COVID nineteen certificate to enter? I think
Speaker 1: it's pretty ridiculous. I don't I don't support that the
Speaker 1: thing they're talking about. I don't know how much of
Speaker 1: that is actually true and how much of that's just
Speaker 1: internet crap about how you can fly, you're gonna need
Speaker 1: that and this, that and the other thing. Uh, how
Speaker 1: do you how do you prove it? Though? I mean,
Speaker 1: I know the conspiracy theory is that the I was
Speaker 1: reading this somebody sent it to me the other day
Speaker 1: that the conspiracy theory is that the vaccine is going
Speaker 1: to leave a mark on your body so the people
Speaker 1: can see whether you've had it or not. I don't
Speaker 1: know that the mark of lucifer. I'm skeptical, but it could.
Speaker 1: It could be a state mandated certificate, right something from Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, I know, you know people you get it forged,
Speaker 1: boom done, problem solved. Yeah. Uh, men have told this
Speaker 1: lie to get out of a new relationship. That's what
Speaker 1: they have to go to work. No, they live with
Speaker 1: their parents. No, what about there's plenty of good ways
Speaker 1: to get out of that. How do you get out
Speaker 1: of that one? I would say, you have to go
Speaker 1: to work, family emergency. When I was dating, the women
Speaker 1: would say, I got a headache, I forget my nails done.
Speaker 1: My girlfriend broke up, she needs me to hang out
Speaker 1: with those kind of things. That's what the women would
Speaker 1: use against me. That happen, Yeah, happened a lot. I'm
Speaker 1: an expert. I could write a book about that or whatever.
Speaker 1: It leads you. It led you to being married. Now,
Speaker 1: that's true, that's true, all right. In a recent survey,
Speaker 1: four percent of people said that thanks to the pandemic,
Speaker 1: they no longer do this. Doo doo doo doo do
Speaker 1: do do do do do do do do do do
Speaker 1: do do do do do? Eat out, eat fast food. No,
Speaker 1: I think more people are eating food because of the drive.
Speaker 1: Three you can go right through. The correct answer is
Speaker 1: where deodorant el stinko has arrived you. You stopped wearing
Speaker 1: deodoran years ago, right for you became a hippie. I
Speaker 1: got a nice aroma about me. My pheromones are a plus.
Speaker 1: That's not what she said. It's not what she says.
Speaker 1: In a recent survey, fifty five percent of people have
Speaker 1: admitted that they have lied about this to keep from
Speaker 1: hurting someone's feelings. Us their sex count, Oh, like how
Speaker 1: high they were, how many partners? No, that's not it.
Speaker 1: This is something that involves how how how much they weigh. No,
Speaker 1: it's uh. When you go out and you have somebody
Speaker 1: makes you like a casserole and you have dinner at
Speaker 1: their house and it sucks. It's like eating dog food,
Speaker 1: it's like eating alcohol and you're like, oh, it's pretty good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you. Yeah, it's tough. You know, who can talking
Speaker 1: about that as a not not to get carried away here,
Speaker 1: but the college football and basketball coaches recruiting traditionally the
Speaker 1: way it has worked, and you know this, guess gun,
Speaker 1: You go to the parents house to sell the fact
Speaker 1: that you want them their son to come play for
Speaker 1: your football team. So you know, Nick Saban will fly
Speaker 1: in as the closer. And then the traditional cliche trope
Speaker 1: of that is the uh, you know, the mom or
Speaker 1: the dad will make you know, lasagna and then have
Speaker 1: dinner at the house. You know, and then so the
Speaker 1: coach has to eat it. How many shitty meals you
Speaker 1: think John Calipari and Nick Saban, those guys have had
Speaker 1: over the years where they had to say, boy, that's
Speaker 1: really delicious. That is let me tell you something. Your
Speaker 1: son is so lucky to have you as a mom.
Speaker 1: That spaghetti did not taste like worms. It tasted really wonderfully.
Speaker 1: Unless it did taste like worms. You know, it's like, jeez,
Speaker 1: you know, what about what about someone like Rick Pettino?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well Petino is another one. They can go
Speaker 1: to it Italian or resturants after and have a little
Speaker 1: fun in Louisville. He's like when it comes to having fun,
Speaker 1: he's like Kyler Murray is just a little fun, a
Speaker 1: little all right. Yeah, you're gonna spend an average of
Speaker 1: thirty six hours a year here where that's the question
Speaker 1: doctor's office? Well, for you, it's more than thirty six hours,
Speaker 1: But for the rest of us it is. No, it's
Speaker 1: something in the house, bathroom. No, well probably more than that.
Speaker 1: After um, it involves the kitchen. Do do do the pantry?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Standing in front of the fridge trying
Speaker 1: to figure out whether to find something or what you
Speaker 1: want to eat, right, whether you're looking for something that's
Speaker 1: in there you need to cook, or you're just you're
Speaker 1: hungry and you want it. Late nights snack, do you
Speaker 1: get like that? No, I I when I started fasting,
Speaker 1: I don't even worry about late night staxs. The only
Speaker 1: thing I do have an issue with the refrigerator is
Speaker 1: because it is all over its helter skelter. It's all
Speaker 1: over the place. So like we'll be cooking and my
Speaker 1: wife will be like, hey, can you go get so
Speaker 1: and so out of refrigerator, So then it becomes a
Speaker 1: ten minute fishing expedition to try to find said item
Speaker 1: in the refrigerator. So that that isn't But yeah, since
Speaker 1: I started fasting, I don't snack. I don't. I mean
Speaker 1: on the weekends, I might. I'll go crazy and have
Speaker 1: a meal and then I'll snack and you know, a
Speaker 1: couple of hours later and then have like a small
Speaker 1: meal after that. But that's about during the week. I
Speaker 1: don't even eat most days. So that's not bad. Yeah,
Speaker 1: damn it, it's actually it works for me. I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's the greatest thing in the world. Y're not,
Speaker 1: but it works for me. All right, we have the
Speaker 1: mail bag. You want to get to the mailbag. Would
Speaker 1: like that? They want they want to be part of
Speaker 1: the mail bag. All right, these are actual questions by
Speaker 1: actual listeners. You guys did a good job. I like
Speaker 1: this batch of questions. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: Good job by you on the Facebook page. I posted
Speaker 1: this on Wednesday morning, Ben Maller's show on Facebook. We
Speaker 1: also have some questions via email Real fifth Hour at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. It's Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: First one comes from John the Jailer and Allan Toown
Speaker 1: p A. He says, like millions of people, I get
Speaker 1: my medical advice from an overnight radio talk shows. Thank
Speaker 1: you John, Being that you are an essential employee like myself.
Speaker 1: Will you be getting the COVID vaccine when it comes out?
Speaker 1: Since Gascon is not essential, he may need to wait
Speaker 1: like the rest of the commoners. Alright, So this is
Speaker 1: related to what we're talking about earlier. So you don't
Speaker 1: seem like you you you're into the vaccine, giscon? Is
Speaker 1: that fair to say that you're not gonna be the
Speaker 1: first one in line to get the vaccine yet? Way,
Speaker 1: you gotta give that up to frontline workers and of
Speaker 1: course the elderly. But if you were offered vaccine, you
Speaker 1: would not take How many people have to have the
Speaker 1: vaccine before you would be comfortable taking said vaccine. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't take it. You're not gonna take it at all?
Speaker 1: What the recovery rate has, how high it is. I'm
Speaker 1: not like, I don't think I need to take it either. Um,
Speaker 1: I might be forced to take it, which I don't like.
Speaker 1: But I think it should be up to the person
Speaker 1: whether they want to take it or not. Yeah, my body,
Speaker 1: my choice. Right, it used to be the way it was.
Speaker 1: But I mean enough, I think enough people will do
Speaker 1: it that this thing will we'll fade away. Who knows?
Speaker 1: Valls fan Jimmy right and says, would you eat a
Speaker 1: plate of chitling for five thousand dollars? Says for both
Speaker 1: you and guest gon chitterlings. Do you know what a
Speaker 1: chitterling is? What is that? I looked it up. Uh.
Speaker 1: This is from Valls Fan Jimmy our buddy in Fayetteville, Tennessee.
Speaker 1: Chitterlings are a Southern food and it is it's it
Speaker 1: looks like crispy kind of churros, except it's made from
Speaker 1: the large intestine of a hog. Yeah, it doesn't sound
Speaker 1: good at all. Five thousand bucks, though, I don't think
Speaker 1: I could do it my When I tasted those bolt testicles,
Speaker 1: I bit into the vein in the texture, like if
Speaker 1: the texture is okay, if it's just like if I
Speaker 1: don't realize what I'm eating is a large hog intestine
Speaker 1: of a hog. I could probably do it, like like
Speaker 1: the poll testical thing. If I'd eaten the original bowl
Speaker 1: testicles like deep pride, it tastes like chicken. What I did,
Speaker 1: I raw dogged it. It was bad. It was bad.
Speaker 1: But for five grand I would do a lot of
Speaker 1: things for money, I could buy a lot of stock
Speaker 1: gascon with dividends and all that, so I'd consider it.
Speaker 1: I would. Yeah, five grand will go a long way.
Speaker 1: Mario in Southern California says, my wife is from the Philippines.
Speaker 1: Would you eat? I don't know how to pronounce it,
Speaker 1: b a l ut? You ever heard of that ballot?
Speaker 1: Ballot that? Oh this is even worse. He's he told.
Speaker 1: What what Mario did is he told Walls Fan, Jimmy,
Speaker 1: hold my beer. So we told you that the chitterlings
Speaker 1: is the large intestine of a hog. According to the Internet,
Speaker 1: b A l u t is a philip addition from
Speaker 1: the Philippines. It is developing bird embryo, usually a duck
Speaker 1: that is boiled and eaten out of the shell. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, fuck, Hey, I'm good on that, Mario. Does
Speaker 1: your wife make that for you? Mario is She's like, hey, Mario,
Speaker 1: I got some embryo for you here enjoy. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: Who's the first person that said that's let's let's eat that.
Speaker 1: Let's see how that goes. Chris and Marrik Cocona O.
Speaker 1: Marri Cocona says, getting into radio, it seemed to be
Speaker 1: career suicide. Give in the low pay. Tell me I'm wrong,
Speaker 1: He says, Well, Chris, this the year is where you
Speaker 1: follow what you want to do. Life is short. You
Speaker 1: never know when the next pandemic or world war is
Speaker 1: gonna pop up and fuck your life up, and so
Speaker 1: follow your your dreams. So if your radio is a
Speaker 1: fun industry, and I've enjoyed being in radio and having
Speaker 1: you know, if we have a good time doing the
Speaker 1: radio stuff and all that, um, it doesn't pay the greatest,
Speaker 1: it pays, all right, It doesn't pay the greatest, and
Speaker 1: certainly when you start out in local radio it's usually terrible.
Speaker 1: You're better off working at at Wendy's. You'll make more money.
Speaker 1: But if you love it, if you have a passion
Speaker 1: for it, you can do it. And it's like Robert Sala,
Speaker 1: the defensive coordinator of the forty nine. Is that guy.
Speaker 1: His story is a good story. Is probably gonna be
Speaker 1: the Lions coach, but he was. He played football in college,
Speaker 1: He got out of college, he worked in fine aunts,
Speaker 1: I believe, and then his brother was in one of
Speaker 1: the towers on nine eleven and his brother got out,
Speaker 1: but they didn't know for a while, and he realized
Speaker 1: that day. He had an epiphany in the early two thousands,
Speaker 1: and you know, no, you know, early September of one,
Speaker 1: he's like, hey, you know, life short, let me follow
Speaker 1: my passion, my passions football. He went into coaching, worked
Speaker 1: his way up, and now he's about to become an
Speaker 1: NFL head coach. Was a pretty cool story. But he
Speaker 1: followed his passion because he realized, you know, you might
Speaker 1: as well enjoy it. So not being said, if you
Speaker 1: want to get paid, I would recommend television rather than
Speaker 1: than radio. And he also says Chris in Marracoca to
Speaker 1: iowas is, what is your favorite Christmas food? Well? I
Speaker 1: like the jelly donuts and the latkas on hanaka, That's
Speaker 1: what I like. What about you? Guess? I don't know
Speaker 1: if I have a favorite Christmas entree? You don't like
Speaker 1: any Christmas related? What are traditional Christmas? You do? Not? No?
Speaker 1: No for the July Thanksgiving? Those are traditional hamburgers and
Speaker 1: hot dogs, turkey, ham mashed potatoes. Yeah. David from Simpsonville,
Speaker 1: South Carolina says, as a Kentucky fan, I will not
Speaker 1: buy a Duke North Carolina, Tennessee or Louisville hat. Ben
Speaker 1: Besides the a strows and the Laker hats? Are there
Speaker 1: eighty you refuse to buy or where? Every time you
Speaker 1: say number one, my cat Cash runs into the room
Speaker 1: me owing very loudly. He's a member of the militia. Also, uh,
Speaker 1: there you go, waiting for your selection hat for Hanukkah.
Speaker 1: There you go. Well, thank you, David, I do want
Speaker 1: to thank you. David's the hat benefactor who come up
Speaker 1: with that sweet looking Kentucky Wildcats hat which I've used
Speaker 1: on the on the podcast. The radio show version of
Speaker 1: the podcast a couple of times the video podcast. But um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I would say the San Francisco Giants. I would not.
Speaker 1: I don't think I would be caught wearing a Giant's hat.
Speaker 1: That would be on my list. Trying to think who
Speaker 1: else off the top of my head, Lakers, Astros, Uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: they would be there. Giants, probably the Niners because I'm
Speaker 1: a Rams fan. That's the rival, the big rival there.
Speaker 1: But outside of that, pretty much fair game. I say
Speaker 1: that guests on knowing that I'm gonna forget one and
Speaker 1: someone will send me the hat and I will have
Speaker 1: to wear it because I just gave my list. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I gotta get back to David on the the Hanukah
Speaker 1: hat there. I don't I don't know. I gotta think
Speaker 1: it's very kind of you. I appreciate that. Pierre, friend
Speaker 1: of alf the Alien Opiner, says Benjamin as a true
Speaker 1: man of the people, salt of the earth, working man.
Speaker 1: I know that, given the opportunity, you would work every day.
Speaker 1: And I'm guessing the same camp be said for Mr
Speaker 1: West of the four oh five. So my question is
Speaker 1: how many podcasts will Gascon be skipping over the holidays?
Speaker 1: There you go, and he has a follow up question. Now,
Speaker 1: that is a good question. Gascon. Now you you, we
Speaker 1: know you. You're a little lazy. You don't have the
Speaker 1: work ethic, you don't have to desire the drive. You
Speaker 1: do not have that. Um, so what are we looking at?
Speaker 1: How many podcasts will you be skipping? And then I'll
Speaker 1: have to skip some as well. We've got Christmas and
Speaker 1: New Year's back to back, belly to belly. Those are
Speaker 1: good days to take off. I think I'll take off
Speaker 1: all all six of those days. It's a good idea. Yeah,
Speaker 1: is that right? Yeah? Okay, So so that's good news.
Speaker 1: We'll get Ryan Smith in here. That's a great idea.
Speaker 1: I think that'd be a great way to close out.
Speaker 1: As bad as it is, it'll get even worse now. Actually,
Speaker 1: I will probably be forced by Forced the Ball and
Speaker 1: Chain to miss one weekend of the podcast coming up
Speaker 1: because of prior engagements. But I'm not sure when that
Speaker 1: will be. I'm not sure when that will be. So
Speaker 1: we will we will find out. Get that message I
Speaker 1: said you, by the way, do you get that I did?
Speaker 1: I did. Thank you for sending it. You're not number one,
Speaker 1: You're number one hundred, number one hundred. All right, uh,
Speaker 1: straight ahead, Here we have another question from alf for
Speaker 1: a Pierre, a friend of Alfie Potter. Ben, how's that
Speaker 1: VPN coming along? From gascon? Well, I thank you for
Speaker 1: as This guy just fucking jerk you off every week,
Speaker 1: all right, this guy just unbelievable. Is it a reach
Speaker 1: around or is it like full on frontal grab. I
Speaker 1: know no one likes you, this guy. You're the kid
Speaker 1: that gets picked on, Pierre, but holy fuck you're you're
Speaker 1: the guy that you know people say, oh he's got cooties.
Speaker 1: Oh no, you've got the gas gone because you stink
Speaker 1: the high heaven. But listen me, okay, sure, all right,
Speaker 1: listen very clearly. Um, yes, you have not done anything.
Speaker 1: I two weeks ago, three weeks ago, I said, hey,
Speaker 1: this VPN thing, Uh, let's get that done. Nothing nothing,
Speaker 1: no VPN. You had a guy, you said you had
Speaker 1: a hook up. I want a VPN. You didn't get it.
Speaker 1: It sucks when someone says they're gonna do something and
Speaker 1: they don't do it. Huh, fucking tomahawks steak in your freezer?
Speaker 1: How do you know I didn't eat it? Because I
Speaker 1: know you didn't eat Maybe I ate it. Maybe I
Speaker 1: had it for dinner because you're you're the king of
Speaker 1: showing everybody what you did. No, I did not like
Speaker 1: when you got a Costco. When you got a Costco
Speaker 1: with your little mask on, your like virtue signaling to
Speaker 1: the world. It's so brave and with me the wilderness
Speaker 1: in California. Well, let me let me explain something because
Speaker 1: I know you don't get out of got him? Really
Speaker 1: you varmit um. Let me explain something here. When you
Speaker 1: go to Costco, if you don't have a mask on,
Speaker 1: they don't let you in the store. All right, I
Speaker 1: know you're a racket. We're a hundred yards away from
Speaker 1: the gate or the door, taking that fucking self. I
Speaker 1: was living my best life. I was in line, surrounded
Speaker 1: around other people. I was our fearless leader, Joe Biden.
Speaker 1: I knew that he would be present someday and he
Speaker 1: wanted everyone to wear a mask forever. You're making it
Speaker 1: sound like you're Somalia being surrounded with RPGs now. Is
Speaker 1: the first day of the Biden administration? Are they gonna
Speaker 1: make everyone wear a burka? Is that what they're gonna
Speaker 1: make everyone? Forget the mask? Let's go with the burka.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put I'm gonna put some lamb blood over
Speaker 1: my front door. How about that saddle cross that'll work?
Speaker 1: Why not? So the answer is Pierre and no VPN
Speaker 1: Gascon is full of crap, right, He's he's full of crap.
Speaker 1: He's a selfish little jerk, and he's a he's a
Speaker 1: douche nozzle and dingle Berry and all those big words,
Speaker 1: all those big words are infatuated with you. But the
Speaker 1: guy knows talent. No, I know what you want me
Speaker 1: to say. The guy appreciates talent. He does mailbag continues.
Speaker 1: He's your actual questions sending by actual listeners. Again, if
Speaker 1: you weren't paying attention earlier. Ben Mallard Show on Facebook,
Speaker 1: like the page on there, and on Wednesdays, that's typically
Speaker 1: when we do this. Now over the holidays, if we
Speaker 1: do do some podcasts over the hollies, will probably do
Speaker 1: it earlier in the week maybe on like Tuesday, um,
Speaker 1: and we might even do it on the weekends and
Speaker 1: just say hey, send some in for next week. Keep
Speaker 1: them kind of evergreen. The term evergreen means they do
Speaker 1: not expire, right, like honey. The perfect product is honey.
Speaker 1: If I would open a store, I would sell honey.
Speaker 1: What about garlic? Honey? You know garlic can go bad.
Speaker 1: Honey does not go bad. Yeah, but garlic is like
Speaker 1: the Ben Mallory lick. Sir, No, well that is true.
Speaker 1: I love garlic and I need the more garlic, roasted
Speaker 1: garlic and all that. But like, there's no expliration date
Speaker 1: on honey. It has internal shelf life, so it's perfect.
Speaker 1: But when when you say, hey, can you give me
Speaker 1: some evergreen questions that would be non specific, and you
Speaker 1: guys been pretty good. You guys have been pretty good.
Speaker 1: They're not dated Carlos, and Houston says, who says that
Speaker 1: drop romosexual? Is that a caller or just a random SoundBite.
Speaker 1: He also says, when it is Justin and Cincinnati going
Speaker 1: to be paying off that bed, well, that's what everyone
Speaker 1: wants to know. Inquiring minds would like to know Justin
Speaker 1: and he made a big wager there and the ones
Speaker 1: you're gonna pay it theF to answer the first part
Speaker 1: of that question, Carlos, that was a random caller to
Speaker 1: Fox Sports Radio a million years ago. And when Tony
Speaker 1: Romo took over for Drew Bledsoe, I'm doing the show.
Speaker 1: I was doing the weekend show, and this was like
Speaker 1: I was so excited because I was a huge Romo fan,
Speaker 1: and the guys started calling me a Romo sexual. And
Speaker 1: then we had got We had certain p One's Brigadier
Speaker 1: generals that had social media accounts. I guess back then
Speaker 1: it would be like my Space. But are they call
Speaker 1: up as romosexual and all that? And so the we
Speaker 1: have different callers and forget exactly who that is, and
Speaker 1: they probably don't listen anymore. It's been a long time,
Speaker 1: but that was just a little clip of a random
Speaker 1: caller to Fox Sports Radio back in Tony Romo's salad
Speaker 1: days with the Dallas Cowboys Romo Sexual. That sound bit's
Speaker 1: gotta be fourteen years old something along those lines. Pretty old. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we still we still play it. We still play it.
Speaker 1: Uh and Mr Luciano rights and he says, all expenses paid,
Speaker 1: which country would you like to travel to for a
Speaker 1: week and why for both of you? Glad the show
Speaker 1: is back on. Well, thank you, Mr Lucy on a
Speaker 1: very kind of you. I really thought about that where
Speaker 1: I would like to travel. I haven't been anywhere other
Speaker 1: than the US and Canada and Mexico and all that, so, uh,
Speaker 1: I have been to Oceania Hawaii. Oceana was just like
Speaker 1: another continent. Um, I've a good things. My my wife's
Speaker 1: got family in Italy, so I think it'd be cool
Speaker 1: to dry around Italy and some of those European countries.
Speaker 1: I've heard Rome is beautiful. Uh, you wouldn't. You wouldn't
Speaker 1: be good in the summer, though, you'd have to go
Speaker 1: in the winter or spring. I've been in the South.
Speaker 1: It can't be any worse than it's way worse. I disagree,
Speaker 1: you're such a softy. I'm not soft, but you know
Speaker 1: you you set. I've lost some weight though it's it's
Speaker 1: a little different. Though it's a little different. Where else
Speaker 1: would I like to go to Australia? Man New Zealand.
Speaker 1: I want to go to New Zealand cause I've been
Speaker 1: on radio there. There's a rumor I could be back
Speaker 1: on New Zealand Radio one. By the way, the network
Speaker 1: I was on went out of business because of the pandemic.
Speaker 1: But there's a little birdie tells me that I might
Speaker 1: be back as a weekly international correspondent on New Zealand Radio.
Speaker 1: Not confirmed, nothing's been signed yet, but it's in the works.
Speaker 1: More bad news, great news, you should get me into
Speaker 1: one of those gigs. The first thing you have to
Speaker 1: do is be good and then you get the gig.
Speaker 1: Can you work on that track? Okay? One of my
Speaker 1: favorite Where do you want to go? Get Australia. Australia.
Speaker 1: That's Australia. Well, I mean that's not going to going
Speaker 1: to the beach. It's not going to Catalina. It's not
Speaker 1: going to cattle. It is like going to Catalina is
Speaker 1: great Australia. I want to go to Japan someday. I'm
Speaker 1: getting a how I'm telling you right now, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get a house on Catalan Island. That'll be my weekend house.
Speaker 1: All right, I will go there. That'll be my retreat
Speaker 1: and I will go to Catalana Island and I will
Speaker 1: love it. It'll be wonderful little bits. That's west of
Speaker 1: the four or five where the buffalo roame. That's not
Speaker 1: west of the four or five. It's you gotta take
Speaker 1: a fucking boat to get there. Yeah, it's very elitist.
Speaker 1: You gotta take a little yacht to get over to
Speaker 1: Catalan Island. It's beautiful, it's all right, so nice. You
Speaker 1: feel like it's just a like an hour boat ride.
Speaker 1: You feel like you're in a different, different world. I
Speaker 1: got away from all the schmucks, away from all the lunatics.
Speaker 1: It's so good, all right. Uh, let's see here Ozzy
Speaker 1: momentum right soon, He says. One of my favorite things.
Speaker 1: I think we did this last week, but maybe not.
Speaker 1: One of my favorite things on your show is when
Speaker 1: you blindly say that's a lie, no matter what the situation,
Speaker 1: whether it's a lie or not. Uh, you seem to
Speaker 1: have stopped saying that. Is there a reason, No, there's
Speaker 1: no reason, Jay, I rotate some things. I mean, I don't.
Speaker 1: It can't be doing the same stuff. I don't want
Speaker 1: to be locked in a time warp. You know. You
Speaker 1: know certain people get into this business they're just the same.
Speaker 1: And I do a lot of same bits. But I
Speaker 1: try to change things up and keep it fresh and
Speaker 1: vibrant and alive. I don't want it to go stale.
Speaker 1: You never wanted to go stale. When it goes stale
Speaker 1: is time to get out. So I change it up.
Speaker 1: But I have mixed it in a little bit. That's
Speaker 1: a lie. The people also enjoy the racist drop about anything,
Speaker 1: even when it's obviously not racist. That's racist. People love
Speaker 1: that big fan h We have a couple of sport
Speaker 1: old questions. Kyle from San Antonio writes in he says,
Speaker 1: what does he say? Any meaning? Ka says, is Jimmy
Speaker 1: Garoppolo destined to be the next Ryan Leaf stands the
Speaker 1: imprisonment for drugs? No? Oh, who's a better comp of
Speaker 1: Jimmy Garoppolo. I'm trying to think of a comp for
Speaker 1: how about James Kingham Joe Flacco? Although Garbolo Flacco won
Speaker 1: the Super Bowl. Give me a quarterback that got to
Speaker 1: a super Bowl and then was just kind of mediocre,
Speaker 1: like Jared Goff. Well, Kaepernick's well, yeah, Kaepernick's one Kaepernick.
Speaker 1: That's a good analogy. He got to the Super Bowl
Speaker 1: of the Niners. He blew the game in the second half.
Speaker 1: They choked with him under center and he was stunk.
Speaker 1: And then he realized his career was dying. So he
Speaker 1: became a social justice warrior and you know, political lunatic
Speaker 1: and all that. So that's a good Although Garoppolo is
Speaker 1: gonna do last stuff. He's hanging out with porn stars.
Speaker 1: He's not trying to get a special Nike shoot by
Speaker 1: taking a knee a Manual from Portugal. Right, he's like
Speaker 1: Chris Chandler. How about that? Yeah with the Falcons that
Speaker 1: he got smoked in the Super Bowl against the Broncos. Alright,
Speaker 1: Emmanual from Portugal says, sides the Ramps. What NFL team
Speaker 1: would you like to coach for? And why the Browns? Why?
Speaker 1: Why the Browns? Because you love the you love the
Speaker 1: dog Pound and they got two horses in the backfield.
Speaker 1: But being a coach, you're the spokesperson. Wouldn't you like
Speaker 1: to be in a town with a fired up media
Speaker 1: like the Patriots or one of the New York teams?
Speaker 1: How would you like to be the guy that made
Speaker 1: the Jets a good team? Wouldn't you like to be
Speaker 1: the guy that turned the Jets and have those have
Speaker 1: all those slobbering guys from a Long Island that the
Speaker 1: contractors from Long Island in the Union. I would be
Speaker 1: good of being the head coach of the Denver Broncos.
Speaker 1: Well not right now, man, great city franchise, historic, one
Speaker 1: of the winningest teams in NFL history. You know what,
Speaker 1: the Broncos are old money. They're old money the National
Speaker 1: Football League. No, but that's really the Broncos are old money.
Speaker 1: It's like they're living off the Lway Day. There's a
Speaker 1: long time ago. They just a lot of Super Bowl
Speaker 1: A handful of years ago. I was talking about a fluke,
Speaker 1: a fluke that was that trying to make that sound
Speaker 1: like it was a hail Mary. And it wasn't a fluke.
Speaker 1: They had one of the greatest defense is in NFL history.
Speaker 1: A fluke out of here. It was because Cam Newton
Speaker 1: decided not to jump on a football. They're still winning
Speaker 1: that game. Before that happened. What are you talking about?
Speaker 1: Cam was rattled and he wasn't the same. They beat
Speaker 1: Tom Brady in the a f C Championship game with
Speaker 1: Grant going off. Don't give me that crap. Let's be
Speaker 1: better than this. Let's now, let's let's break down the
Speaker 1: candy salesman's performance. You know what, you could You could
Speaker 1: probably have a lot of fun as the head coach
Speaker 1: in either Minnesota Seattle. Yeah, because you got we got
Speaker 1: fan bases up there too, that's true. And there's raising
Speaker 1: Kine's locations. And just imagine if you had Paul Allen
Speaker 1: go off on you one time, like you just make
Speaker 1: this great call on him. He was just thinking your
Speaker 1: praises from the high heavens. I can have fun with
Speaker 1: with Jerry Jones too, right, would yeah, but he'd be
Speaker 1: micro managing you. Yeah, but I'd win. I'm a winner, Okay,
Speaker 1: I would win. And there's nothing better than winning. Boy,
Speaker 1: like with the Cowboys, I'm so what I'm all about. Victory, victory, gascon.
Speaker 1: I'll teach you about that. Oh boy. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: we gotta get out of here. Yes, yeah, we gotta go.
Speaker 1: All right, we gotta we gotta go. We got places go. Then,
Speaker 1: all I remember cameo deal, I'll give you till Friday.
Speaker 1: Give you till Friday. If you're thinking about doing a cameo,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to raise the rate because some other
Speaker 1: people have their hand in the cookie jar. And we
Speaker 1: went over that earlier. So that that's that's the deal.
Speaker 1: So again cameo. In the previous podcast Cameo dot Com.
Speaker 1: Ben Mallard love to do it for you and great
Speaker 1: stocking stuff for holidays are coming up. Eight nights of Hanukkah.
Speaker 1: What a horrible gift on like this the fifth night
Speaker 1: and get that anyway, We'll be back on the radio
Speaker 1: tonight breaking down all the NFL and all the sporting
Speaker 1: news of the day on The Ben Maller Show. That's
Speaker 1: eleven o'clock Pacific on Sunday night, two am Monday morning
Speaker 1: in the East, and I'll reave a dead ship. We'll
Speaker 1: catch you next time. Be sure to catch live editions
Speaker 1: of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern
Speaker 1: eleven pm Pacific