1 00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:04,600 Speaker 1: Hey, lady, is doctor dom here. If you like this 2 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:07,240 Speaker 1: show and you want to make your own, let me 3 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:10,840 Speaker 1: tell you about the free platform Anchor. It's a creation 4 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 1: tool that allows you to record and edit your podcast 5 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:17,280 Speaker 1: right from your phone or computer. You can add songs 6 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:21,080 Speaker 1: from Spotify and create any type of content that you. 7 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:21,920 Speaker 2: Are looking for. 8 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:25,200 Speaker 1: Anchor will distribute it all for you so it can 9 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 1: be heard on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and more. Download the 10 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:32,600 Speaker 1: free Anchor app or go to anchor dot fm to 11 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 1: get started. 12 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:37,159 Speaker 2: Hello there, and welcome to the Cultivating. 13 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:41,280 Speaker 3: Her Space podcast Live Herspace Chat on Spotify green Room. 14 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:44,680 Speaker 3: I'm Terry low Maax, a speaker, author, brand strategist, and 15 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:49,040 Speaker 3: one half of the Cultivating her Space podcast. I empower 16 00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 3: entrepreneurs to lever social media and personal branding to grow 17 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,959 Speaker 3: their audience, impact and bank accounts. And this month I'm 18 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,600 Speaker 3: teaching a free podcast to masterclass. You can learn more 19 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:02,280 Speaker 3: about that at Podcasts with Harry dot com. So what 20 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,720 Speaker 3: we want to do now for this live Greenroom chat 21 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,720 Speaker 3: is go over some logistics. So if you're tuning in free, 22 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:11,399 Speaker 3: you can click the area below, ask to speak, and 23 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:13,920 Speaker 3: drop a heart in the discussion tab to let us 24 00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:16,000 Speaker 3: know that you're ready for the conversation. We already have 25 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,840 Speaker 3: v one of our amazing supporters here. Shout out to you, 26 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:21,320 Speaker 3: b and if you're catching the replay of this conversation, 27 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,200 Speaker 3: don't be shy. You can join us every Friday at 28 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,520 Speaker 3: one thirty pm Pacific time four thirty pm Eastern time 29 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:32,360 Speaker 3: on green Room where we converse about all kinds of topics. Okay, 30 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,400 Speaker 3: you can visit spotify dot com slash Greenroom to download 31 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:39,040 Speaker 3: the app, and it is available on Android and iPhone 32 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 3: and it's free, which is the best part about it. 33 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,360 Speaker 3: Today we're going to be talking about coming to grips 34 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:48,360 Speaker 3: with being enough. All right, don I'm going to pass 35 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:49,559 Speaker 3: the mic on over to you, lady. 36 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:52,640 Speaker 2: All right, thank you to you. Well. 37 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: I am doctor dom I am a licensed psychologist and 38 00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:03,040 Speaker 1: college professor currently in the state of California. And lady, 39 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:09,240 Speaker 1: if you are listening and you are contemplating starting your 40 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaker 1: therapy journey and you reside in the state of California, 41 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 1: look me up on doctor Dominique Brussard dot com. That's 42 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 1: d R D O M I N I q U 43 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:27,320 Speaker 1: E B R O U S S A r D 44 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 1: dot com and schedule a free fifteen minute consultation where 45 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:37,880 Speaker 1: we can decide if I'm the right fit for you, 46 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: if therapy is the right space for you right now 47 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:43,800 Speaker 1: as you work on your healing process. 48 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:46,040 Speaker 3: All right, t. 49 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,120 Speaker 2: Are we ready to dive in. Let's do it. 50 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:50,919 Speaker 3: Let's do it. 51 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,160 Speaker 2: Okay, So I'm going to read our quote of the day. 52 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 2: You alone are enough. 53 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:08,400 Speaker 1: You have nothing to prove to anybody that comes from 54 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,359 Speaker 1: our favorite ancestor, as. 55 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 2: Doctor Maya Angeline. 56 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,119 Speaker 3: I know it's complex. I already know the questions coming down. 57 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,000 Speaker 3: So I'm about to dive on. And because I Readymber, 58 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,200 Speaker 3: Okay girl. When I think about this quote, I was 59 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:27,960 Speaker 3: actually up thinking about this last night. And when I 60 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:32,400 Speaker 3: think about this particular quote, I go back to places 61 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 3: in my journey when I did not feel worthy, when 62 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,880 Speaker 3: I did not feel as though I was enough, and 63 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,840 Speaker 3: when I believed that I needed to do something to 64 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 3: be enough. And I think that sometimes when sometimes when 65 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:51,080 Speaker 3: you are trying to pursue personal and professional growth, for instance, 66 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 3: and you're also faced with a quote like this, I 67 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 3: think sometimes it can be a challenge to see your 68 00:03:56,840 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 3: enoughness when you're also in pursuit of something great. If 69 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 3: that makes sense, That doesn't make sense, Yeah, it's. 70 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:12,680 Speaker 1: Yes, as I was taking it in and also thinking 71 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:16,440 Speaker 1: about like my own experiences when I was in that place, right, 72 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:25,279 Speaker 1: And I think, as I'm reflecting on conversations that I've 73 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:33,280 Speaker 1: had with women of color, that it feels like imposter 74 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 1: syndrome is what's showing up, right, This this sense of 75 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:45,679 Speaker 1: I'm not good enough, I need to work harder, I'm 76 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 1: not worthy, like all of these negative. 77 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 2: Things, right, And. 78 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 1: It just it breaks my heart when I think about 79 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:07,360 Speaker 1: how many of us feel this way about ourselves, right, 80 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:14,240 Speaker 1: that we aren't good enough, that we aren't worthy, that 81 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:18,039 Speaker 1: we don't deserve to be in these spaces that we're occupying, 82 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:27,839 Speaker 1: when in reality the opposite is true. And I also 83 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:36,960 Speaker 1: step back, and I also think about we are, particularly 84 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:40,440 Speaker 1: black women, So now I'm really gonna speak to black women. 85 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 1: We are magic, point blank period. 86 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 2: Right. 87 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 1: There is no one like us, no one. I wouldn't 88 00:05:55,480 --> 00:06:04,680 Speaker 1: trade who I am for anything, right. And when I 89 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:08,880 Speaker 1: think about that perspective, that energy that I'm carrying around that. 90 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 2: I have to remind myself. 91 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 1: Yes, yes you are, and that energy that you're carrying, 92 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:25,800 Speaker 1: carry that same energy into everything that you do. 93 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:34,080 Speaker 2: In a work setting, in relationships with friends and family. 94 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 1: Like everything that you do, the moment you wake up 95 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 1: in the morning and your feet plant on that ground, 96 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 1: carry that same energy, reminding yourself that you are enough, 97 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 1: that you are magic. As a black woman in this space, 98 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:03,800 Speaker 1: you are the epitome of of everything, period. 99 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:05,919 Speaker 2: Period food. 100 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 3: Okay, I mean your spot on your spot on dom 101 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:15,720 Speaker 3: And because I've you know, we both have our own 102 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,520 Speaker 3: experiences that we talked about on the podcast, and I 103 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:21,080 Speaker 3: think because of the personal growth that I've had, sometimes 104 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 3: I go back to journals and I think back to 105 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,640 Speaker 3: experiences and I'm like, wow, I was in this space. 106 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:30,680 Speaker 3: I was in this space and I'm far removed from 107 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:35,080 Speaker 3: that now. But just reading the stories that I wrote 108 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 3: down the journal, it allows me to relive those experiences. 109 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:40,120 Speaker 3: And so one in particular that came to mind for 110 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 3: me Donald as I was thinking about this topic was 111 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 3: when I was in grad school. I've talked about it 112 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,520 Speaker 3: on the podcast, right. I was in the space of 113 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,240 Speaker 3: trying to find myself, trying to figure out what do 114 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,160 Speaker 3: I want to do in the world, also coping with 115 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,920 Speaker 3: the childhood trauma experience, trying to figure out how to 116 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,240 Speaker 3: boost my self esteem because I didn't only like myself 117 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,720 Speaker 3: at all, and a couple of things that I realized. 118 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 3: One was that I had the ability to offer compassion 119 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:12,240 Speaker 3: and love and kindness to other people way more than 120 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 3: I could myself. Like you ever meet someone and they're 121 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 3: super quirky, and you're just like, that's so cute, Like 122 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,800 Speaker 3: you appreciate that quirkiness. And I could do that for 123 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:21,600 Speaker 3: other people, but I could not do that for myself. 124 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 3: I really struggled with that, and I remember being in 125 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,760 Speaker 3: grad school and I was like, Okay, I know I 126 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 3: have a story. I know that I've overcome so much. 127 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 3: I want to share this story with other people and 128 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,280 Speaker 3: inspire them. So I want to be a motivational speaker 129 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:35,560 Speaker 3: and author. That was my dream. And so the struggle 130 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:38,640 Speaker 3: that I had then was being comfortable with my voice 131 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:43,080 Speaker 3: because I was raised in San Diego for ten years 132 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,480 Speaker 3: as a young little black girl. So I had this 133 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:49,560 Speaker 3: valley girl accident going on, where you know, I'm just 134 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:51,200 Speaker 3: going to do the valley grade. Oh my god, like 135 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,360 Speaker 3: that whole thing. That's how I spoke because I was 136 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,800 Speaker 3: raising that environment, y'all don't. Yeah, That's how I was 137 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,960 Speaker 3: raised there. And I moved to Philly and I was 138 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 3: in Philly for like the rest of of what I'm 139 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:03,360 Speaker 3: twelve years old onward. And so I had to mix 140 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 3: between the sort of like valley girl Philly accent, and 141 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,720 Speaker 3: I was I hated my voice so much, and I 142 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:09,200 Speaker 3: was like, all right, bet, and I'm going to become 143 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:13,000 Speaker 3: a motivational speaker. I need to go. It's funny because Jasmine, Hey, Jasmine, 144 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:15,440 Speaker 3: we were just talking about this the other night. I 145 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,440 Speaker 3: was like, I'm going to go get some speech training 146 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 3: and I'm going to learn how to speak like a 147 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,920 Speaker 3: newscaster because in my mind, I just wasn't enough as 148 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,840 Speaker 3: I was in that moment. I had to do something 149 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 3: to make my voice more polished. I had to be 150 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:31,480 Speaker 3: more professional. I had to sort of showcase this image 151 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:34,320 Speaker 3: of who I thought I needed to be in order 152 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 3: to pursue this dream. And I seriously consider this. It 153 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:40,120 Speaker 3: sounds a little crazy now, but I seriously considered it. 154 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:42,440 Speaker 3: And I think a mentor may have told me I 155 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,560 Speaker 3: didn't need it, or maybe I couldn't afford it, but 156 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:47,200 Speaker 3: I didn't do it, and I ended up still becoming 157 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:50,240 Speaker 3: a motivational speaker. And let me just tell you, can 158 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 3: you imagine what would have happened if I was talking 159 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,280 Speaker 3: to high school students, this me being this person I 160 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,120 Speaker 3: am going to high school talking to. 161 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:57,920 Speaker 2: These black kids. 162 00:09:58,200 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 3: They would lit my ass up. 163 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,120 Speaker 2: I was like, what's up? 164 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,559 Speaker 3: Like, we can't relate to this, you know what I mean? 165 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 2: So when I was able to go in and be 166 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,080 Speaker 2: my authentic. 167 00:10:05,679 --> 00:10:08,240 Speaker 3: Self, yo, I say a couple words, a little funny, 168 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 3: all right, that's who I am, you know what I mean? Like, 169 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 3: it's the authenticity and what I learned from that down 170 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,720 Speaker 3: with no matter where you are in your journey, you 171 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 3: are enough, like right now just being who you are, 172 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:20,880 Speaker 3: like you said, just waking up in the morning, planting 173 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:22,280 Speaker 3: your feet on the floor. You don't have to do 174 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 3: anything to be enough. And I think us as black 175 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,440 Speaker 3: women oftentimes were often told that we got to do this, 176 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 3: we got to do that, we got to change this, 177 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 3: we got to change that. When you really are enough 178 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,000 Speaker 3: right now exactly. 179 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,120 Speaker 1: And you know, as I'm listening to you share your 180 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 1: story about your voice, I'm like, who the hell said 181 00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:48,439 Speaker 1: that's something was wrong with your voice? Because when I 182 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:52,880 Speaker 1: talk to folks who listen to the podcast, everyone says that, 183 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:58,240 Speaker 1: like our voices are like so soothing, and our voices 184 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:01,120 Speaker 1: were it sounds like I've voices were meant for. 185 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 2: This, right. Can you see what that means though, Like, 186 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:06,320 Speaker 2: what does that mean to us if we're. 187 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,600 Speaker 3: Thinking haying to go out and change something. When the 188 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,959 Speaker 3: world sees our gift they hear us on the podcast like, oh, 189 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 3: you sound great. You're supposed to be doing this work. 190 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,320 Speaker 3: If I would have gone to change something and tried 191 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,199 Speaker 3: to become this other thing, I would have really robbed 192 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:20,520 Speaker 3: myself in the world of an opportunity to get the authenticity. 193 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:25,120 Speaker 3: And I think that's an exactly I love. 194 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 2: I love that word authenticity, right. 195 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 1: It ties in perfectly with this whole with everything about 196 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:39,040 Speaker 1: being enough and like you said, recognizing that when you 197 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:44,040 Speaker 1: are true to you, that is enough. 198 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:44,760 Speaker 2: Right. 199 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:51,439 Speaker 1: I think about multiple instances. I know when we recorded 200 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:54,760 Speaker 1: this episode with doctor Janice Moody, one of the things 201 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:57,800 Speaker 1: that came up in this conversation was around like the 202 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 1: judgment of like the church mother, right. And it is 203 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:11,400 Speaker 1: palpable that that level of judgment and that level of 204 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:16,880 Speaker 1: judgment is what leads to so many of us not 205 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:22,680 Speaker 1: thinking and believing that we are enough, right, And there's 206 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:27,640 Speaker 1: a lot of work that has to go into us 207 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:33,760 Speaker 1: changing that narrative right of someone telling us whether it 208 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:37,840 Speaker 1: was church or it was school, or it was a 209 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:41,800 Speaker 1: mentor or some and it doesn't matter who it was, 210 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,840 Speaker 1: but people that we are close to are people that 211 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:48,640 Speaker 1: we feel connected to. When they place that level of 212 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:54,680 Speaker 1: judgment on us, then that the impact that it has 213 00:12:54,760 --> 00:13:03,840 Speaker 1: on us, like causing us to question our enoughness, it 214 00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:14,280 Speaker 1: really becomes devastating to our psyche, right, and it can 215 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:18,880 Speaker 1: take a long time for us to work ourselves out 216 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:24,160 Speaker 1: of that negative spiral or negative view of ourselves that 217 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,560 Speaker 1: other people have placed on us. 218 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,960 Speaker 3: That is spot on dom It really really does. And 219 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:33,480 Speaker 3: the thing about it is sometimes the people that are 220 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,599 Speaker 3: giving us the feedback about us not being enough for 221 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:38,320 Speaker 3: us having to work on this or work on that, 222 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:42,480 Speaker 3: a lot of times they're speaking from their insecurity. They're 223 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 3: speaking from their limitation. 224 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:44,079 Speaker 2: Right. 225 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:46,600 Speaker 3: Someone telling you, oh, you can't make that much money, Well, 226 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:48,560 Speaker 3: that's because you haven't done it, So you're telling me 227 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 3: that I can't do it. 228 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:52,320 Speaker 2: Right. There's an article that I had two articles. 229 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,800 Speaker 3: I was reading last night in preparation for our chat 230 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:58,160 Speaker 3: today child about my whole life. One is by Melissa 231 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:02,440 Speaker 3: Kamara Wilkins, and she has so many tweetables here like 232 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,760 Speaker 3: you can literally just read the whole article. You can 233 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,320 Speaker 3: google it. It's the title is what it Means to 234 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 3: Be Enough? Melissa Kamira Wilkins is the author. I want 235 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,120 Speaker 3: to read a quick snippet because it was so powerful 236 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:15,199 Speaker 3: to me. And what she says is, you are enough 237 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:17,240 Speaker 3: does not mean that you are flawless or that you 238 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:20,320 Speaker 3: never make mistakes. You are enough means that you were 239 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:24,520 Speaker 3: made to be you as you are on purpose. It 240 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:27,200 Speaker 3: is no mistake that you are this person in this 241 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 3: place at this time. You are enough as you are 242 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 3: mess and all beautiful and broken, showing up for. 243 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,160 Speaker 2: Your life every day. That's all you. 244 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:40,440 Speaker 3: Have to be and all you have to do. You're 245 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,360 Speaker 3: already enough, and so you can be enough and be 246 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 3: in pursuit of something greater. 247 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:48,840 Speaker 2: That's they can live together, yes, right, that can co exist. 248 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:54,480 Speaker 1: Yes, I think that is That is a beautiful takeaway. Right, 249 00:14:55,000 --> 00:15:02,040 Speaker 1: is that us being enough does not It's not permission 250 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:05,040 Speaker 1: giving for us to be stagnant or complacent. 251 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:09,680 Speaker 2: Right, it's letting us know that. 252 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:16,200 Speaker 1: It's giving us permission to be in the space that 253 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:24,760 Speaker 1: we are, knowing that we are growing, constantly growing. Right, 254 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,840 Speaker 1: And because I think What happens is is that when 255 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:31,120 Speaker 1: we recognize, oh, I have this flaw or I have 256 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,760 Speaker 1: this thing that I'm working on, then we can get 257 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 1: into that space of well, I'm not good enough because 258 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:46,480 Speaker 1: I haven't reached that XYZ goal, right. And what this 259 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:50,840 Speaker 1: is telling us, what this is reminding us is that no, 260 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:56,240 Speaker 1: hold on, Paul, slow your road, look in that mirror 261 00:15:56,680 --> 00:16:02,880 Speaker 1: and tell yourself you are enough. You are exactly where 262 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:07,080 Speaker 1: you are supposed to be right now in this moment. 263 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:10,320 Speaker 3: This reminds me of a quote that we shared last week, 264 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:13,360 Speaker 3: I think it was last week on our Green Live 265 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:17,520 Speaker 3: and it was if you're not happy before you get 266 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,720 Speaker 3: what you desire, you won't be happy when you get 267 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:21,800 Speaker 3: what you desire. And I learned that the hard way 268 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,000 Speaker 3: because I used to think that, oh, once I get 269 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:27,040 Speaker 3: this degree, once I get this thing, once I get 270 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,920 Speaker 3: this outfit, once I go to the gym and get 271 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,680 Speaker 3: you know, I see the apps coming through, like it'll 272 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,160 Speaker 3: all be good. And it's like we see that in 273 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,600 Speaker 3: our community so much, right people, And I'm just going 274 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,600 Speaker 3: to use this as an example. We're not shaming anyone 275 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:39,120 Speaker 3: to get surgery, which had a plastic surgeon on our 276 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 3: podcast and we've talked about it. But this is a 277 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,560 Speaker 3: good example because I have friends that have been here 278 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,880 Speaker 3: where you go. A young lady that I know went 279 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,000 Speaker 3: to go get her surgery. She got her bbl right, 280 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:51,320 Speaker 3: her body was like boom boom boom, and she came 281 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,840 Speaker 3: home because she thought like, oh, I got the body, 282 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,680 Speaker 3: I'm excited right right, and then she's like, oh, I 283 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 3: want to go back and get the butt a little 284 00:16:57,920 --> 00:16:59,240 Speaker 3: bit bigger, and I want to get this it. 285 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,040 Speaker 2: So it's like you're never were happy because you weren't 286 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:04,440 Speaker 2: happy initially. But I believe, I truly. 287 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,640 Speaker 3: Believe that if you are happy before you even get it, 288 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:11,399 Speaker 3: then when you get it, you'll be content, like right 289 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:14,359 Speaker 3: like you'll be you won't be using that to define yourself. 290 00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:17,119 Speaker 3: And I have had my own cosmetic procedure which I 291 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,439 Speaker 3: shared on the podcast that got Them Edges Laid Okay, 292 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,879 Speaker 3: and I experienced that myself. Right before I want to 293 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,520 Speaker 3: do that, I did a lot of work on myself 294 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,760 Speaker 3: internally because I wanted to make sure that I don't 295 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:30,000 Speaker 3: have this unrealistic expectation that me getting the surgery that 296 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,719 Speaker 3: I've always wanted or me having this experience, but then 297 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:36,800 Speaker 3: somehow make me happy, right, and so yeah, I think 298 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 3: that is definitely spot on. There is another article with 299 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,919 Speaker 3: some tips that I think you should definitely check out. 300 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,439 Speaker 3: We got some homework for you, Okay, So you have 301 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,440 Speaker 3: the article that we share from Melissa, and then there's 302 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:50,280 Speaker 3: this tiny Buddha article and it's called seven things to 303 00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:53,480 Speaker 3: remember when you think you're not enough. And the opening 304 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:55,119 Speaker 3: quote right here is just going to give you a 305 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:56,520 Speaker 3: whole life for you already. And you're ready for the 306 00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:59,480 Speaker 3: quote if you're listening live, I see Ashlonce here, just 307 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:00,520 Speaker 3: drop a hard in the chat. 308 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,199 Speaker 2: You ready for the quote because this quote right here, 309 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:04,960 Speaker 2: it says. 310 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:09,240 Speaker 3: We can't hate ourselves into a version of ourselves. 311 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:09,320 Speaker 2: We can love. 312 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:11,879 Speaker 3: And that's by Lori D. 313 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:12,680 Speaker 2: Lord. 314 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,639 Speaker 3: I don't know how to potand your last name, but 315 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:18,080 Speaker 3: Lori D said that you can't hate yourself into a 316 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,800 Speaker 3: version of yourself that you can love. 317 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:25,119 Speaker 2: Damn. Yeah, damn. 318 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,080 Speaker 3: I'm just gonna sit with that. 319 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:36,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, we are enough, We are enough. 320 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,520 Speaker 3: So let's do a little activity. You know, we have 321 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,560 Speaker 3: a little activity on these Friday's one week. So what 322 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:48,480 Speaker 3: you should do is pull out your journal and clothes 323 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,640 Speaker 3: and you can pull out your journal or if you're 324 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,520 Speaker 3: like me and you're on the go, do it in 325 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:55,800 Speaker 3: your eye what is it your iPhone, notepad or the voice. No, 326 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:59,440 Speaker 3: after the session, and just write down things about yourself 327 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,640 Speaker 3: that you you love about yourself. Right, maybe you can 328 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,560 Speaker 3: do three things that you love about yourself. And I 329 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,080 Speaker 3: personally have been in a place where I couldn't name 330 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:11,280 Speaker 3: three things. So if you cannot name three things, we 331 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:15,040 Speaker 3: want you to reach out to three friends and reach 332 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:16,800 Speaker 3: out to positive friends. Okay, we don't want to reach 333 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,520 Speaker 3: out to no negative nancies. 334 00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:20,160 Speaker 2: All right, right, we want to reach out to three. 335 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:23,520 Speaker 3: Positive friends and ask them what do they love about you? 336 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,960 Speaker 3: And just sit with the answers that you get. Just 337 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,040 Speaker 3: say thank you. You don't have to make excuses or 338 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:32,480 Speaker 3: deflect your self deprecate, sit with the answers, and just 339 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,479 Speaker 3: remember that you are enough, point blank period. 340 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:40,000 Speaker 2: Yes, that's all that matters. You are enough. 341 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:45,800 Speaker 1: As you are wrapping up, remember one, you are enough, 342 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:53,080 Speaker 1: and two to journal that right, Journal the things about 343 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 1: yourself that you are grateful for. 344 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,280 Speaker 2: Journal the things. 345 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:03,840 Speaker 1: That you love about yourself, and keep posting those things, 346 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:08,919 Speaker 1: keep looking at those things so that you have that 347 00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:13,480 Speaker 1: constant reminder of what it is that you love about you. 348 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:20,240 Speaker 1: So with that in mind, we want to thank everyone 349 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:24,639 Speaker 1: for tuning in with us today and whether you caught 350 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:29,720 Speaker 1: the replay or you tuned in live, we appreciate. 351 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,840 Speaker 2: You being here. We want to. 352 00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:36,280 Speaker 1: Thank everyone who was engaging with us in the chat 353 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,200 Speaker 1: and who showed up live. And you can find the 354 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,679 Speaker 1: replay of the green Room Chat on the Cultivating her 355 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:47,359 Speaker 1: Space podcast next Monday, and you can find us here, 356 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:52,800 Speaker 1: same time, same place next Friday. That's one thirty Pacific, 357 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,840 Speaker 1: four thirty pm Eastern