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Speaker 1: It is time for today's Strawberry Letter. The subject, if

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Speaker 1: she doesn't work out, we won't work out. Okay, that

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Speaker 1: is a subject and listen. If you need advice on relationships,

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Speaker 1: on dating, on work, on sex, on parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry letter to Steve Harvey f M

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Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letters. Steve tell them

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Speaker 1: you know what, submit your letters. Everybody, let us read

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Speaker 1: through these things. I love that and we could know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Yeah, we could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the end. Probably won't, but you know you're

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Speaker 1: gonna encourage these are you have to take? Come on,

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Speaker 1: j al right here it is. It's time for the

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter with my friend my girl, ms Strawberry. Thank you,

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Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, junior smart so uh subject if

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Speaker 1: she doesn't work out, we won't work out. Dear Stephen Shirley.

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Speaker 1: When I met my wife five years ago, she was

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Speaker 1: all that I wanted and more. She was beauty, utiful, sweet, driven,

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Speaker 1: short and thick, just how I like them. Now, two

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Speaker 1: kids and three years of marriage later, I hardly recognize her.

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Speaker 1: She has gained far too much weight. I told her

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Speaker 1: I would work out with her and I went and

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Speaker 1: bought exercise mats and dumbbells so we could get started.

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Speaker 1: She hurt herself during our first workout, and now she

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Speaker 1: uses that as an excuse to stop exercising. I still

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Speaker 1: love her, but I am not attracted to her anymore.

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Speaker 1: I have to take my magic pills just to get

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Speaker 1: aroused so we can have sex. This problem is getting

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Speaker 1: worse because on three occasions, with three different women, I've

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Speaker 1: almost cheated on her. My love for my family won't

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Speaker 1: allow me to follow through with having an affair. Plus,

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Speaker 1: that just ain't my style. I just don't know what

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Speaker 1: to say to my wife to motivate her. I also

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Speaker 1: don't want to hurt her feelings or damage her self esteem.

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Speaker 1: What would you suggest that I do? Yeah, this is

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Speaker 1: a major problem in your marriage because I would tell

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Speaker 1: you that, Um, I'm sure her self esteem is already damaged,

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Speaker 1: you know, and weight gain, um, you know has a

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Speaker 1: way of doing that. I'm sure she wants to be

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Speaker 1: the woman you want her to be and the woman

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Speaker 1: she wants to be and that she was, but with

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Speaker 1: the extra weight, and it's it's hard to get five

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Speaker 1: pounds off, let alone. You know, if you have twenty

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Speaker 1: or thirty to lose, so it is messing with her

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Speaker 1: self esteem. And uh, you know, she doesn't look the

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Speaker 1: same see the same person when she looks in the

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Speaker 1: mirror either. But I do want to thank you for

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Speaker 1: not cheating and saying that's just not your style. Temptation

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Speaker 1: is out there and you could, but you know you're

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Speaker 1: not doing it, So for that, I commend you. And

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Speaker 1: you are in a tough position, of course. I understand

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Speaker 1: you don't want to hurt your wife's feelings because it

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Speaker 1: is a touchy, touchy subject. It's hard to even bring

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Speaker 1: up the subject because it probably is going to end

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Speaker 1: in tears or an argument or something. You're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to it her down and tell her, like you told

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Speaker 1: us in the letter, how much you love her, how

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Speaker 1: much you care about her, and how much you want

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Speaker 1: her to be healthy, and how much you care about

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Speaker 1: her health. And this is a health issue. You know,

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Speaker 1: the extra weight could be causing some health issues. If

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Speaker 1: it's not right now, it could in the future, and

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Speaker 1: you want to make sure that she's there and healthy

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Speaker 1: for you and the kids for a very very long time. Uh,

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Speaker 1: perhaps you guys could go, you know, to a doctor

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Speaker 1: and get some medical attention to make sure that she

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Speaker 1: didn't hurt herself terribly when she did the workout, so

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Speaker 1: that could reassure her. Well, I mean it could. Maybe

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Speaker 1: she needs some reassurance from from a doctor or something. Okay,

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Speaker 1: but I'm just saying, maybe, you know, you gotta do

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Speaker 1: whatever you can to to ease into this situation. But

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Speaker 1: if you put health first, I think, you know, maybe

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Speaker 1: you'll be able to make some headway with her. Talk

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Speaker 1: about her health first, Steve, what, I don't know how

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Speaker 1: to go about this letter because I spend so much

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Speaker 1: of my life being a truth teller. Oh uh, I'm

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Speaker 1: told him because first of all, it's a beautiful letter.

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Speaker 1: This is a letter about a man who really does

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Speaker 1: love his girl that he didn't took to the point

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Speaker 1: where each is trying to make it work. Man, she

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Speaker 1: was all she wanted. She was beautiful, sweet, driven, short,

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Speaker 1: and thick, just like I like. Two kids and three

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Speaker 1: years of marriage later, that's a fast drop off three

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Speaker 1: years now, Uh the weight game, Yeah, that three is.

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Speaker 1: But you know when you had them kids that you're

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Speaker 1: gonna have some problems. You're gonna have some problems. When

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Speaker 1: she had them kids and we men have to be

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Speaker 1: understanding of that. Her body went through a major transformation.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes it don't pop back as as easy. So you

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Speaker 1: have to take that in consideration, fella, and you have

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Speaker 1: because you know, but she has gained far too much weight.

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Speaker 1: All weight ain't baby weight. You had to say that.

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Speaker 1: Come up, we didn't had the baby at max. Usually

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Speaker 1: that's ten pounds he gonna you got from the center.

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Speaker 1: That's another how many other pounds? So you know a

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Speaker 1: lot of this is going out and you do have

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Speaker 1: baby weight attached to you. In three years, she's and

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Speaker 1: two kids, she's still gonna have babyweight. But what he

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Speaker 1: looking at, though, is how much damn baby weight. That's

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Speaker 1: where he's struggling. So even told his girl, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: workout with you. Heat them bought exercise match dumbbails. She

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Speaker 1: heard herself doing our first workout, and now she uses

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Speaker 1: that as an excuse to stop exercising. I still love her,

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Speaker 1: but I ain't attracted to her no more, he said.

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Speaker 1: He's still loved, but he just ain't attracted no more

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Speaker 1: because she's shortened, thick, and turned into something else. Now

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Speaker 1: hit a problem. She was beautiful, sweet, driven, short and thick,

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Speaker 1: just how I like it. Now. Nobody wants to fat

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Speaker 1: shame anybody. So this ain't what this is about. This

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Speaker 1: woman has a legitimate thing. Two kids in three years,

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Speaker 1: So bro, you're gonna have to help him some more.

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Speaker 1: I know you ain't bought the mats and the dumbbell

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Speaker 1: st short and thick, being over too fast, picked up

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Speaker 1: the dumbeill and just heard a little tick. She didn't

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Speaker 1: know what it was. She didn't know if it was

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Speaker 1: a hamstring, a ligament, tenderloin. She didn't know what it

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Speaker 1: was some some That's why I said, go to the doctor,

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Speaker 1: all right, held it right there, right there, all right,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna pick up your responsive pertase. I didn't know

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Speaker 1: if the hawk met this girl five years ago. She

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Speaker 1: was everything man, beautiful, sweet, driven, short and thick, just

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Speaker 1: like our life. Two kids three years later. You don't

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Speaker 1: even recognize him, he could say. He hardly recognized her.

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Speaker 1: This ain't baby fat, baby fat. You can still recognize

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Speaker 1: these women. This ain't baby fat. This something else. She

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Speaker 1: didn't gain far too much weight. Now, when women have children,

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Speaker 1: you gotta understand it's not fellas. The bodies go through

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Speaker 1: some change. We've talked about that. But this is obviously

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Speaker 1: something mold than that. He loved. He bought u some dumbails,

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Speaker 1: some matt and everything, and she get hurt on the

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Speaker 1: first workout. Now that's excuse for not working out no more.

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Speaker 1: I can't lift that no more. So what happened was

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Speaker 1: she was working out and something popped. Now he was

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Speaker 1: going over the things that it could have been before.

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Speaker 1: Because you know, when you got a lot of size

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Speaker 1: on you, stuff can pull and you not know who

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Speaker 1: it is. That's why you need to go to the doctor.

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Speaker 1: Well you ain't got to go to the doctor. I

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Speaker 1: mean what you're gonna tell him? You pull the what

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Speaker 1: he'll examine you, Steve, you're getting close to that edge.

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Speaker 1: I'm just warning you. I'm just trying to figure out

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Speaker 1: so anyway, But he loves her anyway, but he just

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Speaker 1: not attracted to her anymore. Now that means you went

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Speaker 1: way too far. I gotta take my magic peels just

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Speaker 1: to get around so we can have sex. This problem

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Speaker 1: getting worse because on three occasion with three different women,

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Speaker 1: I'm almost cheated on it. My level for my family

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Speaker 1: won't allow me to follow through with having an affair.

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Speaker 1: But this just ain't my style. That ain't my style.

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Speaker 1: I just don't know what to say to my wife

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Speaker 1: to motivator. I also don't want to hurt the feelings

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Speaker 1: I damage your self esteem. What would you suggest I do?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Get her a sexy trainer? Get her?

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Speaker 1: What a sexy trainer? What that's gonna do, Shirley. Maybe

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Speaker 1: it a motivator. Maybe it'll motivator to work out. Your

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Speaker 1: husband thinking about leaving? Mm hmm. Damn. They had a

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Speaker 1: fan with three women there. You don't do nothing about that.

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Speaker 1: But you want to go in here because the train

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Speaker 1: or sexy, Yeah, that'll motivate me to work out. Get

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Speaker 1: a girl. I think you talked about the best way.

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Speaker 1: It has to be a health issue. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to live my life about you. These kids need a mother.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna have to do better. You're just gonna have

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Speaker 1: to do better and change your diet. But listen to me.

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Speaker 1: You have to change your diet. You can't. You can't

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Speaker 1: lose weight without reducing calories. You can't. Lee Haney taught

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Speaker 1: me a very valuable lesson. You cannot out train a

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Speaker 1: bad diet. If you're eating badly, you can work out

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Speaker 1: all you want it ain't fin the budge. Now, what

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Speaker 1: you love to eat cannot taste better than the way

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Speaker 1: you want to look. You have to change your attitude.

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Speaker 1: What you love to eat cannot taste better than the

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Speaker 1: way you want to look. So come on, you gotta

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Speaker 1: do better, lady, Come on now, for everybody involved, your children,

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Speaker 1: your husband, for yourself. Don't you want to be that

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Speaker 1: fine chick again? And fellas, don't you want to be

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Speaker 1: that fine dude again? I'm looking for my stomach. What

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Speaker 1: do you mean you're looking for her? Oh you mean

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Speaker 1: like a six pack or something you didn't carry in

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Speaker 1: the pack. I don't give a damn if it's a

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Speaker 1: Bubba gumma pack at this point. Well, your point too

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Speaker 1: is never give up. Keep trying, you know, just never

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Speaker 1: give up and working out. I mean, don't just throw

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Speaker 1: in the towel and just you know, she gotta do something.

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Speaker 1: He don't even recognize her no more. Her head didn't

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Speaker 1: got bigger everything. He didn't say that in the letter.

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Speaker 1: Still you don't recognize he didn't. There have to be

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Speaker 1: some change. Her driver's licend probably still about it. Hole,

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Speaker 1: get her driver, lind because you only got to get

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Speaker 1: them every ten years get a driver like holding up?

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Speaker 1: See who you see? If she gets stopped by the car,

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Speaker 1: they're gonna put it in the back seat. This is

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Speaker 1: not you, ma'am. She's gonna get arrested in the whole car.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, drug put the back seat the police because ma'am,

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Speaker 1: this is not you. Your driver's license got five to

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Speaker 1: one thirty on it. You the game so much weight,

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Speaker 1: you don't even five two no more? You for eleven.

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Speaker 1: I've had two kids, sir, you for eleven and to ninety.

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Speaker 1: You're just sitting over there in the police car looking

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Speaker 1: like a refrigerator box. O god, what was in this box?

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Speaker 1: Washing and dry stop? I'm just trying to use comedy

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Speaker 1: to motivate people. That's all right, I'm sorry. I can't

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Speaker 1: say nothing no more. You can't say nothing like ain't

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Speaker 1: no fat? People listening, you just won't stop. Told you

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Speaker 1: I'm sitting there trying to find my damn. I'm so

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Speaker 1: sick of looking like I'm in the first dry master.

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Speaker 1: You talking about yourself. I got baby fat and ain't

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Speaker 1: never head baby? Yeah? What now? What is we supposed

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Speaker 1: to do? It's hard getting baby weight on. Ye struggle

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Speaker 1: with that too, it's hard, and my baby team, you're

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Speaker 1: you're gonna have to quit calling two more years. I

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Speaker 1: did it until Sheridan was Twitter. No no no, Once the

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Speaker 1: babies in double digits, you're gonna have to let your

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Speaker 1: baby wait. Problem that's drinking and eating. I can't carry

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Speaker 1: no baby, but I have baby fat. Though. It's tough. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: yeah it is. And it's tough for him. Yeah it's

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Speaker 1: tough for him. But he's gonna have to food out there. Lord,

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Speaker 1: all right, well, listen, we gotta go. You can email

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Speaker 1: us or instagram us your thoughts on today's Strawberry letter

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Speaker 1: at Steve Harvey f M. You're listening to the Steve

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Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show