Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central Closest Role. Welcome to the
Speaker 1: Data Show. Thank you good to be here. UM, let's
Speaker 1: start with the question that I've been trying to figure
Speaker 1: out the entire time reading the book, just the making
Speaker 1: a scene that you know that there's so many different
Speaker 1: interpretations where it's like making a scene. Are you're saying
Speaker 1: good making a scene? Bad? Making scenes? Of full? Making
Speaker 1: a scene? You write a memoir about your life? That
Speaker 1: is the title? Why that? Well, you kind of got
Speaker 1: it because it's supposed to um have multiple meanings. There's
Speaker 1: two overarching themes in the book. One is how art
Speaker 1: is very healing, and for me, art was always doing theater,
Speaker 1: and in theater you make scenes in a play. And um,
Speaker 1: the other theme is sort of about what it means
Speaker 1: when somebody makes a scene and how growing up I
Speaker 1: sort of felt that it was unladylike to make scenes,
Speaker 1: and how that repression was something that I've been struggling
Speaker 1: with my whole life as a natural, really extroverted, emotional person.
Speaker 1: And so now I'm just like, I'll just be emotional
Speaker 1: and just make a scene. I I didn't know what
Speaker 1: to expect when I picked up the book. You know,
Speaker 1: because when you read it somebody's memoir, you have an
Speaker 1: idea of who they are, and then you have an
Speaker 1: idea of what you think their memoir will be. You've
Speaker 1: written it in a really interesting way, and that I've
Speaker 1: seen a book that has essays, and I've seen a
Speaker 1: book that's written in a completely linear format, but you've
Speaker 1: told some of the stories or you've written them as screenplays,
Speaker 1: and it feels like we're in a movie that is
Speaker 1: your life. Why did you choose to do that? Is
Speaker 1: that how you saw it, or or do you want
Speaker 1: us to feel like we're in the movie that is
Speaker 1: your life? Well, there are certain scenes, are parts of
Speaker 1: the book that were originally written as dialogue that happened
Speaker 1: to me as I recount my experiences, and then I
Speaker 1: put them in a sort of screenplay or playwriting format
Speaker 1: because I feel like sometimes with actor memoirs there's a
Speaker 1: little bit of a kind of a slant, like they're
Speaker 1: trying to make themselves be the victim or the hero,
Speaker 1: or like cooler than and I felt like by putting
Speaker 1: it in a scene format, it sort of took you
Speaker 1: out of the book in a way that made the
Speaker 1: experience more objective. So if I'm talking about somebody putting
Speaker 1: his hand on my crotch, I could talk about how
Speaker 1: that felt to me, or I could just explain the
Speaker 1: action and everybody will have their own response to him.
Speaker 1: Let's let's talk a little bit about it. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: that that was something interesting in the book. You know,
Speaker 1: you shared some really vulnerable moments in your life. You
Speaker 1: talked about going through sexual harassment. You know, one of
Speaker 1: the producers on the show, the hit show that you
Speaker 1: are on Fresh of the Boat. But what's interesting is
Speaker 1: it doesn't seem like you are trying to slam somebody.
Speaker 1: It seems like you're counting what happened. You even seem
Speaker 1: to have, honestly, a compassion that I don't think many
Speaker 1: people would where you go, I understand where this guy
Speaker 1: came from. I didn't apreciate what he did. He made
Speaker 1: my life and living hell, but I forgive him. And
Speaker 1: then you go on to talk about parts you know
Speaker 1: lates on the book where you realize that there were
Speaker 1: moments where you felt like you were creating an environment
Speaker 1: that was harassing to people. Not on the same level
Speaker 1: in any way, but but I was intrigued by why
Speaker 1: you would do that, and how you would even begin
Speaker 1: to think like that. Well, I mean, you are right,
Speaker 1: I even in a way have a compassion for the
Speaker 1: person who raped me, and that is something that is
Speaker 1: you know, you don't do. And the reason I do
Speaker 1: it is not to have compassion and not to take
Speaker 1: their side. But I do feel that if I am
Speaker 1: asking for people to look at my life and my
Speaker 1: mistakes with curi curiosity and empathy rather rather than judgment,
Speaker 1: I feel like I want to do the same for
Speaker 1: other people. And it was beautiful because as I was
Speaker 1: doing that, it made me stop blaming myself. So you know,
Speaker 1: I felt really bad with the sexual askment on fresh
Speaker 1: off the boat because sometimes I wanted to be part
Speaker 1: of the boys club, So like when he would do
Speaker 1: or say something that was inappropriate, I'd be like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, you're such a dick, you know, like laughing
Speaker 1: with him, and I felt like that was a type
Speaker 1: of permissiveness and I felt guilty because of that. Um
Speaker 1: But then when I thought about how he's an Asian
Speaker 1: American man and how Asian American men have traditionally felt
Speaker 1: very masculated in this country and what that does to
Speaker 1: a person and why and how they might exercise their
Speaker 1: feelings of powerlessness and exercise it on the women in
Speaker 1: their own community. Because he was always respectful to white
Speaker 1: and black women all around me. It was just to
Speaker 1: Asian women who weren't in positions of power that he
Speaker 1: sort of exercised his power and it. You know, I
Speaker 1: consider that, and I consider the pressure he was under,
Speaker 1: not to excuse him, but just to understand people better. Wow. Wow,
Speaker 1: m you you know you you you bring up your
Speaker 1: life and everything that you've gone through. There are many
Speaker 1: people who are familiar with it, and they obviously those
Speaker 1: who learn about it from the book or maybe even
Speaker 1: from us speaking about it. But you went through a
Speaker 1: really interesting period where you were on this hit show.
Speaker 1: It came out of nowhere. It was a supern over,
Speaker 1: fresh off the boat. People were loving it. It It represented,
Speaker 1: you know, the Asian community, and it was this exciting
Speaker 1: you idea. It was funny, it was powerful. And then
Speaker 1: I think it was after about five seasons, people thought
Speaker 1: the show was done. You started booking a few projects,
Speaker 1: then the show got picked up and you had to
Speaker 1: go back to the show contractually. You spoke up about
Speaker 1: it on Twitter, you know, and I mean more than
Speaker 1: spoke up about it, I mean, rather profane tweeter. Yeah,
Speaker 1: i'll let you. I'm objectively giving it to you. But
Speaker 1: you said a few things and and what you talk
Speaker 1: about in the book, and I really enjoyed it is
Speaker 1: you talk about how you felt, You talked about the
Speaker 1: mistakes you made, but then you talk about the response
Speaker 1: and and how people made you feel, leading to a
Speaker 1: point where you contemplated suicide. Um yeah, I actually really
Speaker 1: did pull myself over a balcony ledge. So it was
Speaker 1: very close, and I'm very lucky that I had a
Speaker 1: friend there to help me. But um, but yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: I do think the reaction to my not ladylike tweets
Speaker 1: was outsized in proportion to my mistake. And um, you got,
Speaker 1: I remember you got. You were getting slammed like people,
Speaker 1: people were coming after you, and people were like, oh,
Speaker 1: they were saying, like you should kill yourself, you're ungrateful,
Speaker 1: you all. I remember it at the time, and it
Speaker 1: was huge. It went far beyond like what had happened.
Speaker 1: You know. It felt like you were angry and you
Speaker 1: were lashing out, but the respons was like it seemed
Speaker 1: like it was view was pretty cruel. Um yeah, And
Speaker 1: so that's why I ended up in a hospital and
Speaker 1: why I inevitably had to take a break from Hollywood
Speaker 1: just sort of guy didn't want to cry. I'm sorry
Speaker 1: to like work on my mental health. Um and and
Speaker 1: it's lonely. And I'll tell you what, it remains a
Speaker 1: little bit lonely because one of the things I wanted
Speaker 1: to talk about was how the Asian American community has
Speaker 1: largely remained silent because they're so hyper focused on this
Speaker 1: idea of positive representation, and I think that is such
Speaker 1: an illusion. It's like the model minority coin, but just
Speaker 1: the the other side of it. We need whole human representation,
Speaker 1: which includes mistakes, which includes insecurities and vulnerability, and it
Speaker 1: includes the interfections of race and gender. Because one of
Speaker 1: the few people that I told back in season two
Speaker 1: that I was being sexually harassed was one of the
Speaker 1: most vocal and prom advocates for Asian Americans, very progressive,
Speaker 1: very outspoken, and I sort of told him I guess
Speaker 1: as a as a testing ground to see, you know,
Speaker 1: if he would believe me, and he just looked at
Speaker 1: me like my dog had died, and then never asked
Speaker 1: that anything again. And a week later I saw him
Speaker 1: introducing my abuser on an Asian American panel with the
Speaker 1: most profuse praise, and it felt like such a betrayal.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, if even he doesn't believe me, who's
Speaker 1: going to believe me? And this is prior to the
Speaker 1: Me Too movement. And I just want to say to
Speaker 1: a lot of Asian American male activists, if you claim
Speaker 1: to stand for Asian Americans, you have to stand for
Speaker 1: women too, because that's fifty percent of that population. When you,
Speaker 1: when you experienced it was really it was really interesting
Speaker 1: to read through how you felt about it in the book,
Speaker 1: you know, because because you you share the complexities of
Speaker 1: of what you were going through, and one of those
Speaker 1: complexities was around the burden of carrying for an entire group.
Speaker 1: You know. I spoke to a friend of mine and
Speaker 1: she was telling me, you know, she's Chinese and she
Speaker 1: moved to the US, and she was saying how she's
Speaker 1: always been taught that the group is more important than
Speaker 1: the whole, regarded regardless of the cost. And you you
Speaker 1: talk about in the book about how many said to you,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter what happened to you. What's more important
Speaker 1: is how the Asian community is perceived. Yes, that positive
Speaker 1: representation of the whole and straight from that, right, and
Speaker 1: so how did you how did you find the balance
Speaker 1: and also the fortitude to say, look, I am here
Speaker 1: representing the Asian community as a whole, as a as
Speaker 1: a as a complex person, but I also wish to
Speaker 1: be protected as an individual. Like where where did you
Speaker 1: find that strength? Where did you because you, as you say,
Speaker 1: you were contemplating suicide, you know you were, you were
Speaker 1: in a mental hospital. You you went through so many things.
Speaker 1: What what is it that changed in Constance's life where
Speaker 1: you decided to know? You know what, I've got to
Speaker 1: change how I deal with this. Well, to be honest,
Speaker 1: I think I'm still finding it. But I think one
Speaker 1: thing I learned is that repressing those stories of abuse
Speaker 1: that happened to me, it wasn't just going to go
Speaker 1: away because I wanted it to go away, because I
Speaker 1: wanted to maintain the reputation of the show. And I realized,
Speaker 1: if I'm going to live as my authentic self, then
Speaker 1: I just need to do it, even at the risk
Speaker 1: of some other people's discomfort. And so I do think
Speaker 1: my speaking out is going to make some people uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: But I think discomfort is often where you find growth,
Speaker 1: and it's sort of the only way I know how
Speaker 1: to be right now. I love. Yeah, I wouldn't I
Speaker 1: wouldn't be doing I could put away. I used that
Speaker 1: for my evidence of my dada. I would be doing
Speaker 1: the book and your life a disservice if we just
Speaker 1: stayed on the saddest parts in the saddest moment, anybody
Speaker 1: wants to talk about well, not not not me, not
Speaker 1: because because because it is a life. You know, there
Speaker 1: are many funny moments. You tell amazingly funny stories. Um,
Speaker 1: I feel bad for almost every guy who's dated you,
Speaker 1: especially like what I mean, what I mean because you
Speaker 1: tell the story is in a really funny way. And
Speaker 1: if I was like the maitre d for instance, there's
Speaker 1: so many great stories about dating and life going well,
Speaker 1: life not going well. It's silly things, that's funny moments.
Speaker 1: You know, you talk about moving in your twenties, you
Speaker 1: you you, you, you, You share really fun stories about
Speaker 1: your journey growing up, moving around. For instance, just the
Speaker 1: way you speak about your sisters. You want a four
Speaker 1: a right, one of four girls, one of four girls.
Speaker 1: And I love how in the book you talk about
Speaker 1: how Helen is just like your favorite sister, And I
Speaker 1: was like, you do realize your sisters are going to
Speaker 1: read this book? You're not worried about that them knowing
Speaker 1: that you have a favorite. Now did I say favorite? No? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I said, she's when I become closest to an adulthood.
Speaker 1: That's worse. Oh, she's the one I'm closest to. That's
Speaker 1: not much. But what I love is that you you
Speaker 1: you you share a lot, and it's and it's and
Speaker 1: it's funny and it's complex when you look at your life,
Speaker 1: when you when you look at the laughter that you
Speaker 1: you bring to yourself, Like, what are some of the
Speaker 1: funniest moments that you loved reading about in your own book?
Speaker 1: Because I feel like writing a book means you have
Speaker 1: to relive some of what you've been through. You have
Speaker 1: to read it so many times when you're editing. It's
Speaker 1: like a whole thing. I wrote it all myself. Um,
Speaker 1: that's why it took me so long. Um. I mean
Speaker 1: there's one I say. I really enjoyed writing about my
Speaker 1: first ever job, which was at a bread bakery, where
Speaker 1: I learned about what it means, what it really means
Speaker 1: the big bread when you think about it. For centuries,
Speaker 1: the recipe has stayed the same, and it's funny. I
Speaker 1: I was almost embarrassed. I'm almost embarrassed of my job
Speaker 1: now because an acting career feels so flimsy next to
Speaker 1: something as substantial as a loaf of bread when you
Speaker 1: really think about what that is, means, meant for cultures.
Speaker 1: And also like writing that one brought back all the
Speaker 1: smells of the bakery and the taste. No, I feel
Speaker 1: like that's like a missed opportunity, just like now and again,
Speaker 1: I mean I do explain in the book, you know
Speaker 1: I was. I was at the needing table, so I
Speaker 1: needed the bread and I shaped it. But I was
Speaker 1: never the mixer. That's like a very important role where
Speaker 1: they mixed the doll and Um, that was never my
Speaker 1: job because I was like a fifteen year old. It's
Speaker 1: too important of a job for a fifteen year old.
Speaker 1: When you walk past the place that's baking something, do
Speaker 1: you get memories immediately? I even tried to audition um
Speaker 1: to be a baker when I first moved to l
Speaker 1: A and I was like, let me try a different
Speaker 1: side job other than waitressing. I have, um, I have
Speaker 1: these banking skills, let me try it. So they auditioned
Speaker 1: me for this baking role. And I remember the mixer.
Speaker 1: He and I were working together and I'm trying to
Speaker 1: make small talk the way you might do with you know,
Speaker 1: your waitressing staff, and and saying like, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm an actress. What do you do? And he looked
Speaker 1: at me and he said, I'm a baker. But I
Speaker 1: remember thinking like, that's that's right, yeah you are. That's
Speaker 1: an honorable job, you know. And you're like, I'm just
Speaker 1: he has my side hustle, and I didn't get the job.
Speaker 1: You didn't, and you know what, you ended up in
Speaker 1: the Ripe one concert. Thank you so much for taking
Speaker 1: the time, thank you for joining me on the show.
Speaker 1: To what Nations and why fascinating making a scene as
Speaker 1: available wherever you buy a book, there are times more
Speaker 1: stories to make sure you go out and get a
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