1 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:04,400 Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space. 2 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:09,160 Speaker 2: You don't value gifts, you value what you earn. If 3 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:11,799 Speaker 2: you give a sixteen year old kid in a car 4 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:14,040 Speaker 2: and it's a nice coore Vett and it's really fast, 5 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,239 Speaker 2: he will take it out on record. But if you 6 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:16,680 Speaker 2: buy this. 7 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:24,240 Speaker 1: Oell, today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration, 8 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:28,480 Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments 9 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:32,400 Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a 10 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,320 Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also, 11 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:39,760 Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe 12 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:44,559 Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivatingheirspace dot com to access our 13 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:49,120 Speaker 1: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab. 14 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:55,279 Speaker 3: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting 15 00:00:55,320 --> 00:01:00,440 Speaker 3: women like you. We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Broussard, college 16 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 3: professor and psychologist. 17 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 4: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a 18 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 4: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please 19 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:16,080 Speaker 4: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from 20 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:19,240 Speaker 4: five roids to fake friends, and create a safe space 21 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:26,600 Speaker 4: where black women can just be Okay, lady, we have 22 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:30,640 Speaker 4: a very inspiring guest today, but before we jump into 23 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:34,679 Speaker 4: his bio, I want to share three alarming statistics with you. 24 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:39,440 Speaker 4: Forty percent of students cannot read at a basic level. 25 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 4: Almost seventy percent of low income fourth grade students cannot 26 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:49,000 Speaker 4: read at a basic level. One point two million students 27 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 4: drop out of high school each year. That's seven thousand 28 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:58,080 Speaker 4: a day, or one student every twenty six seconds. Dean 29 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:02,240 Speaker 4: Tulsen is the first and only person in American history 30 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 4: to navigate his way from being functionally illiterate to a 31 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 4: master's degree and graduate magna cum laude in the top 32 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:14,079 Speaker 4: ten percent of his class. He was inducted into the 33 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 4: National Honor Society in Chicago, Illinois, in May of two 34 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:22,600 Speaker 4: thousand and seven. Dean is the author of Power Forward 35 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:27,840 Speaker 4: and his mission is to reach young people, students, adults, 36 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 4: and everyone in between to emphasize the importance of education. 37 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:36,040 Speaker 4: Dean Tawson, welcome to Cultivating her Space. 38 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,399 Speaker 2: Thank you and the doctor Donald for having me on 39 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:45,280 Speaker 2: the show. And we have something very important to share. 40 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:50,519 Speaker 2: Work the people out there as well as the adults, 41 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:57,520 Speaker 2: the children, the community and society in a whole across 42 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 2: the fifty states of American United States. That's my mission. 43 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:07,239 Speaker 5: Well, we are so looking forward to this very important conversation, 44 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:12,680 Speaker 5: and so I will read our quote of the day. Now, Dean, 45 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:18,520 Speaker 5: our quote comes to us from you. These are your words. 46 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:23,600 Speaker 5: We were, you know, looking at your website learning more 47 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:28,519 Speaker 5: about you. We were also on your social media than y'all. Y'all, 48 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:32,640 Speaker 5: if y'all have not seen Dean tolson social media, you 49 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,240 Speaker 5: have to go and check out his TikTok videos like 50 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 5: you just have to. So our quote of the day, 51 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 5: you only fail if you quit and give up. I'm 52 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 5: gonna say that one more time for the people in 53 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 5: the back. You only fail if you quit and give up. Now, 54 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 5: mister Toulson, when you hear that quote, those are your words? 55 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,640 Speaker 5: What comes up for you? What were some of the 56 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 5: context around this particular quote. 57 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,600 Speaker 6: Application and commitment. 58 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 2: Okay, kids do not. 59 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 6: Dial in to applying themselves and be committed to doing. 60 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:25,800 Speaker 2: The work the graduate and they quit and they give up. 61 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,360 Speaker 6: And it's a human instinct. 62 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:34,040 Speaker 2: It's very easy to do. My motivation will spail you. 63 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 2: I played at every level, high school, college, NBA, International, 64 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 2: semi quote, every level, and it succeeded at every level 65 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:57,360 Speaker 2: and then failed overall strategy. And thirty two years ago 66 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 2: I realized I can't read it, write and not a 67 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 2: do wonderful things. 68 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:07,160 Speaker 6: And so I got my attention. And my mother is 69 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 6: the one that called into my attention and she says, son, how. 70 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:19,479 Speaker 2: Long are you gonna play? You're thirty two? But I 71 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 2: don't know, mother. 72 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,159 Speaker 6: I just love and like what I do. 73 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 2: And I'm seeing the world and they paying for it. 74 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:29,320 Speaker 2: I'm earning good money and I'm happy. That's what life is. 75 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:35,919 Speaker 2: And she goes, no, future is what life is. Your future, 76 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:41,839 Speaker 2: not today, not what you did in the past, but 77 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:46,240 Speaker 2: what your future will wind up being, and she retired me. 78 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 4: Wow, Okay, Dean, we have so many questions for you, 79 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,640 Speaker 4: but we're going to try to stay as organized as possible, 80 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 4: especially for the listeners. Can we start We're going to 81 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:58,680 Speaker 4: dive back into the story, but can we start with 82 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:03,400 Speaker 4: your origin story? How did you become the Byron Dean 83 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:04,719 Speaker 4: Tulks that we see today. 84 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 2: I grew up in a ghetto and Kansi, Missouri, go Chiefs, right, 85 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 2: go cheats, a concentration of violence and gains and parking 86 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:23,279 Speaker 2: home for me for five years, fighting every day with 87 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 2: you know, peers and students at school, and skimming school 88 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:34,279 Speaker 2: and not paying attention and not applying yourself and be 89 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:39,920 Speaker 2: committed to getting an education and just rambultuously running through 90 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 2: the city for years and years and years until I 91 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,680 Speaker 2: turned eighteen years old and got a scholarship to the 92 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:52,000 Speaker 2: University of Arkansas. That was my childhood. Is ugly, but 93 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:57,400 Speaker 2: miraculously I never made the mistake of. 94 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,320 Speaker 6: Murder right for robbery. 95 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:07,560 Speaker 2: Because my mother wouldn't have it. She don't kill me. 96 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:14,240 Speaker 2: I was more scared of her than the police. I 97 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 2: got a whooping every day. You ain't gonna do it, 98 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:19,560 Speaker 2: not in here. 99 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:25,400 Speaker 6: You're gonna come here and at night and you run 100 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 6: in the streets with film. So whenever I see them 101 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:30,240 Speaker 6: doing I'm out of the streets. 102 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:32,840 Speaker 2: And I see them doing something, I go get my 103 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:36,320 Speaker 2: basketball to go to the sanatellite work on my game 104 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:37,560 Speaker 2: because I gonna turn the NBA. 105 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 6: I'm gonna show everybody. 106 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 2: I'm I'm good enough to get there, and I did. 107 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:44,920 Speaker 2: I'm the first NBA player to come out of can't 108 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 2: see the area in the history of the city. The 109 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:52,480 Speaker 2: first NBA player was drafted a BA in the NBA. 110 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 2: I could have went to any one I wanted to, 111 00:07:55,160 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 2: and I chose Arkansas, and Seattle drafted me quite quite 112 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 2: a story. 113 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 6: You never see the story again in human history. 114 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 2: If you read the book, it shows you all the 115 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 2: mistakes are made throughout the book, and then it shows 116 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 2: you how I recovered from those mistakes. Did you know? 117 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:19,000 Speaker 6: It's not page or page, It's a page turner. 118 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,920 Speaker 2: You cannot put it down until you get to the end. 119 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,240 Speaker 2: And a walk across the stage back and cool. 120 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 4: Hey lady, it's Terry here, Dom and I want to 121 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 4: take a moment to thank you for choosing to listen 122 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,880 Speaker 4: to our podcast. We love you for real, and we 123 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 4: want to give you a chance to learn more about 124 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,440 Speaker 4: what's important to us. So tell us what you think 125 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:37,880 Speaker 4: about this. 126 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,200 Speaker 5: Imagine a world where you have a chance to get 127 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:45,680 Speaker 5: featured on the Cultivating her Space podcast and share your business, 128 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:51,520 Speaker 5: brand or perspective with millions around the globe. Imagine joining 129 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:55,160 Speaker 5: our monthly virtual video check ins where you can connect 130 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,360 Speaker 5: with like minded black women like you and share your 131 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:02,600 Speaker 5: ideas and episodes of questions with Terry and I. Now, 132 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 5: I want you to imagine a world where you're in 133 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 5: the exclusive Cultivating her Space sanctuary Slack channel, and throughout 134 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,800 Speaker 5: your day and week, you are conversing with us about 135 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,880 Speaker 5: what's happening in your life and sharing funny gifts and 136 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 5: or personal wins. 137 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:19,920 Speaker 1: How does that sound? 138 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,600 Speaker 4: Hopefully this is of your alley, lady, because we are 139 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:24,680 Speaker 4: taking things to the next level of this year, and 140 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,359 Speaker 4: we're doubling down on investing in our community. 141 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:28,560 Speaker 7: That means you. 142 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,560 Speaker 4: We want to meet you, connect with you, and create 143 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:36,160 Speaker 4: communities of genuine women who love on black women and 144 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,680 Speaker 4: push our culture and movement forward. We launched this podcast 145 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,560 Speaker 4: in twenty nineteen, and to date we have not missed 146 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 4: a week. We've been great stewards of our platform, all 147 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:49,960 Speaker 4: while working full time and navigating our own ups and downs. 148 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 4: We release fresh new content every single Friday light clock work, 149 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 4: and we have hundreds of valuable episodes and workshops that 150 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:01,040 Speaker 4: can really help you up level your life. So if 151 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,160 Speaker 4: you love our mission or you've gotten value from us, 152 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:07,160 Speaker 4: we invite you to give back and help us push 153 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:12,559 Speaker 4: this community effort forward. Visit herspacepodcast dot com and click Patreon. 154 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:15,640 Speaker 4: You can learn more about our goals and exclusive offerings 155 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:19,800 Speaker 4: on Patreon, and we highly highly encourage you to join 156 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 4: the Sister frontier so that you can get someone on 157 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,840 Speaker 4: one time with us. We also have an option for 158 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,320 Speaker 4: you to donate on a one time basis if that 159 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:31,240 Speaker 4: meets your needs. Again Herspace podcast dot com and you 160 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:34,800 Speaker 4: can click that link that says Patreon. All right, lady, 161 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:36,719 Speaker 4: we'll hop right back into the conversation. 162 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:45,000 Speaker 5: Congratulations on that. That is a huge deal, huge deal. 163 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:46,120 Speaker 2: Yes. 164 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:51,280 Speaker 5: And so for the folks who are listening and they 165 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:54,080 Speaker 5: can't see the video, they can't see us on video, 166 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:58,160 Speaker 5: they can only hear us. You retired from the NBA 167 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 5: at thirty two and then went back to school. So 168 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:09,000 Speaker 5: you know, I work in higher education. For someone to 169 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:15,080 Speaker 5: return back to school or someone a student to be 170 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:20,160 Speaker 5: enrolled in an undergraduate program over the age of twenty one, 171 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:23,959 Speaker 5: they are considered what we would call a quote unquote 172 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 5: non traditional student, right right, And so you are not 173 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:35,520 Speaker 5: only a bachelor's degree, but a master's degree as well. 174 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:41,120 Speaker 5: I know that as our listeners are hearing your story 175 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,679 Speaker 5: and hearing this conversation, a lot of them are going 176 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:47,120 Speaker 5: to be inspired. Can you share with us if you 177 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:53,760 Speaker 5: don't mind how old you are and how you navigate 178 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:57,440 Speaker 5: doing all of the things that you do in your 179 00:11:57,559 --> 00:12:00,720 Speaker 5: day to day, because you are doing a lot out here. 180 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:03,800 Speaker 2: Oh my god. First of all, I like to tell 181 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:08,520 Speaker 2: the audience I'm seventy three years old and I act 182 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 2: like I'm fifty three, and speaking of doing a lot, 183 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,440 Speaker 2: I want the audience out there to know you can't 184 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:30,439 Speaker 2: do or not it's too much. But if you organize yourself, 185 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:34,440 Speaker 2: you'll be surprised at what you can't get done. 186 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,520 Speaker 6: And only nobody knows that. 187 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 2: But you is in here, only you know. And you're 188 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:54,600 Speaker 2: talking about stress, You're talking about being self motivated, you're 189 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:57,559 Speaker 2: talking about self inspiration. 190 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:01,960 Speaker 6: You're talking about. 191 00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:11,840 Speaker 2: Believe and non believers in what you're doing. And then 192 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 2: the vital things success do you believe in that? What 193 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:25,679 Speaker 2: do you call success? Success is like love, It's marked 194 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,440 Speaker 2: in the mind of the beholder. 195 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:30,480 Speaker 7: That's a beautiful answer. Beautiful answer. 196 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:33,760 Speaker 4: And Dean, you are seventy three years young, and I 197 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,600 Speaker 4: think about so, Dean, I'm in my thirties, right, And 198 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:39,000 Speaker 4: I remember when I was turning thirty and I was 199 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 4: I hear a lot of people say this now, and 200 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:42,720 Speaker 4: now that I'm in my thirties, I'm like, but I 201 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,040 Speaker 4: hear people say, you know, they're nervous about turning thirty, like, 202 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 4: oh my gosh, it's too late for me to achieve 203 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:47,760 Speaker 4: my goals and dreams. 204 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 6: Right, what's that? But turning the corner right. 205 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:54,840 Speaker 4: Exactly, turning the corner. So for you, I think that 206 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 4: you just represent for us like what's possible and how 207 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,080 Speaker 4: it's not determined by how what you are. So when 208 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:03,960 Speaker 4: you think about age, right, having lived seventy three years 209 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,959 Speaker 4: of life, which is so incredible, especially as a black 210 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,920 Speaker 4: man from where you came from. Right, who's seen what 211 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:13,319 Speaker 4: you've seen, who's overcome what you've overcome? What does age? 212 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,680 Speaker 4: What does that even mean to you at this stage 213 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:16,120 Speaker 4: in your life? 214 00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:20,040 Speaker 2: If you saw in the book, I've dedicated the book 215 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,760 Speaker 2: to some of the players, and I played with the NBA, 216 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 2: and thirteen of them have died since I've played with them. 217 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:32,520 Speaker 2: This in the book. Okay, they did now. 218 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 6: And they've won the NBA Championships and played with Larry Bird. 219 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:46,040 Speaker 2: And they were my roommates and all that. And so 220 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:52,720 Speaker 2: to speak to your question, I have words for all 221 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:59,680 Speaker 2: that people don't understand. It's the little things. Graduation is 222 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:04,880 Speaker 2: a big but what about all those little things did 223 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:08,640 Speaker 2: it take to get there? Makes sense? 224 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:12,520 Speaker 7: Yes, it sounds like it's the people we. 225 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:16,160 Speaker 2: Don't do that is discipline ourselves to do all the 226 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:23,360 Speaker 2: little things you forget or you. 227 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 6: Admit, are you lazy? Are you are not focused? 228 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 2: You stressed, you got family problems, you got this, you 229 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:36,400 Speaker 2: got that. 230 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 6: I learned how to come back. 231 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:44,440 Speaker 2: All of those things, and all my experiences like serving 232 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:50,960 Speaker 2: in the United States Military for five years and going 233 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,080 Speaker 2: to school and then going back to school and then 234 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:57,600 Speaker 2: having eighty hours of failing grades on. 235 00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:58,560 Speaker 6: One hundred and twenty. 236 00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:01,480 Speaker 2: Four hour transcript that I went back to it and 237 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:07,560 Speaker 2: made me retake every single class I've failed to move 238 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 2: two hundred hours to graduate. There's a lot of hours. 239 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:15,720 Speaker 7: That is a lot of hours. 240 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,560 Speaker 4: And Dean, it sounds like you're saying, it's not even 241 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,680 Speaker 4: about the age. It's about the little things that you 242 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,840 Speaker 4: do to fill your life. Right, the little things that 243 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 4: you do to fill your life and achieve those goals. 244 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,560 Speaker 4: I think that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing. 245 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,200 Speaker 6: Thank you, and Darry, nobody's gonna tell you. 246 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:33,760 Speaker 2: How to do. It's the discipline, the word you learn. 247 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,960 Speaker 2: You teach yourself how to do the little thing that 248 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,560 Speaker 2: make a difference. 249 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:43,920 Speaker 4: Right, Hey, lady, we hope you're enjoying this conversation with 250 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,400 Speaker 4: Dean and Dom and I wanted to try something a 251 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 4: little new today, so we wanted to share additional stats 252 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:53,600 Speaker 4: around literacy and also kind of share our stories about 253 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,920 Speaker 4: education and what have meant for us to us in 254 00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:01,320 Speaker 4: our household. So let's dive into these. That's one of 255 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:04,840 Speaker 4: the stats here says nationwide, on average, seventy nine percent 256 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,680 Speaker 4: of US adults are literate, and this was in twenty 257 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,800 Speaker 4: twenty two, so that means twenty one percent of adults 258 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:14,679 Speaker 4: in the US are illiterate. In twenty twenty two, fifty 259 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:18,320 Speaker 4: four percent of adults have a literacy below sixth grade level, 260 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:22,919 Speaker 4: and twenty one percent of Americans eighteen and older are illiterate. 261 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 4: And again this is from twenty twenty two, and. 262 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:31,600 Speaker 5: Those stats are alarming, they really are. And what we 263 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:37,520 Speaker 5: what we also have learned is that low literacy rates 264 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:44,600 Speaker 5: cost Americans up to two point two trillion dollars every year. 265 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:51,199 Speaker 5: I'm gonna say that again, two point two trillion dollars 266 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:56,960 Speaker 5: every year. Thirty four percent of people eighteen and older 267 00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:02,320 Speaker 5: with low literacy proficiency weren't born in the United States, 268 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:08,040 Speaker 5: So I think that that has like an impact on 269 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:12,800 Speaker 5: recognizing that if English is not your first language, the 270 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:21,200 Speaker 5: barrier of succeeding in the US because of low literacy. 271 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:26,399 Speaker 5: What we also know is that having good literacy skills 272 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 5: helps facilitate effective communication over the course of one's lifetime. 273 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:40,080 Speaker 5: When children are able to read, write, listen, think, speak, 274 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:50,800 Speaker 5: and respond critically, the world opens up. Literacy is so 275 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:59,880 Speaker 5: important because of those skills. Without literacy, children are un 276 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:09,120 Speaker 5: able to read, to write, which then impacts their ability 277 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:16,440 Speaker 5: to speak clearly and effectively and to think critically, which 278 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:22,560 Speaker 5: then impacts how they engage with the world. And I 279 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 5: think that that's part of that's a huge part of 280 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:30,879 Speaker 5: what Dean is sharing with us today in his interview 281 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:39,200 Speaker 5: right that his life was headed in one direction and 282 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:45,719 Speaker 5: could have continued in that direction had he not decided 283 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:52,920 Speaker 5: to become literate. And as you listen to the rest 284 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:58,320 Speaker 5: of the interview, you'll learn how his life changed because 285 00:19:58,320 --> 00:19:59,720 Speaker 5: of literacy. 286 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,159 Speaker 4: And I don't know about you, but I think what 287 00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:05,119 Speaker 4: excited me most, or what excites me most about this 288 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,880 Speaker 4: conversation one the fact that Dean is seventy three years young. 289 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,719 Speaker 4: I think that is so awesome for him to be 290 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:17,080 Speaker 4: seventy three on his book tour, traveling, speaking inspiring people, 291 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,159 Speaker 4: and I think that it's so awesome just because I 292 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,640 Speaker 4: feel like a lot of times we're told that. 293 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:22,320 Speaker 7: You're too old. 294 00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:24,720 Speaker 4: Like remember when many of us were turning thirty. If 295 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,120 Speaker 4: you're over thirty, y'all, if you know, you know, right? 296 00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:28,399 Speaker 2: Girl? 297 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,600 Speaker 4: Before that thirty birthday, it was like, oh my gosh, 298 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:32,800 Speaker 4: I'm going to be thirty, I'm getting old. 299 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:36,240 Speaker 7: Oh what am I going to do? Lit over here? Okay, 300 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,120 Speaker 7: I'm in my mid thirty. So it's feeling good lit. 301 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:39,720 Speaker 7: It's fun. 302 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 4: I got more money, more wisdom than I had before. 303 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,560 Speaker 7: Like it's really not bad. 304 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,400 Speaker 4: And so I think about even, you know, being seventy 305 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,800 Speaker 4: and seventy three, it's like you can still be out 306 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,280 Speaker 4: here achieving your goals, like it really is just a number. 307 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,200 Speaker 4: I also felt like I was low key. It made 308 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,520 Speaker 4: me think about conversations I had with my grandfather when 309 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,520 Speaker 4: he was alive. My grandfathers are no longer here, but 310 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,960 Speaker 4: this kind of brought me back to the conversations we 311 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,720 Speaker 4: would have growing up and just the energy some of 312 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,520 Speaker 4: that sort of old school like the lessons you would hear. 313 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:09,720 Speaker 4: And so I thought that was really cool. And I 314 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:11,760 Speaker 4: don't know DOUBM. I kind of want to hear about 315 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:15,600 Speaker 4: what education meant for you and your household and like 316 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,160 Speaker 4: how your perspective on it was shaped, because I think 317 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:21,359 Speaker 4: that impacts our trajectory in life, right. 318 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:27,480 Speaker 5: If we're speaking specifically about education. You know, for me 319 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:36,560 Speaker 5: growing up, education was the top priority. School is your focus, 320 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:40,440 Speaker 5: like point blank period. School is your focus. Getting good 321 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:46,040 Speaker 5: grades is your focus. That's why you're here, Like at 322 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,879 Speaker 5: this stage in life, that's what you're here to do. 323 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,399 Speaker 5: You're here to go to school, get that education so 324 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:56,480 Speaker 5: you can get a better life for yourself. And as 325 00:21:56,480 --> 00:22:02,040 Speaker 5: I got older, what I learned is that part of 326 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:08,960 Speaker 5: why education was so important in our household was learning 327 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:13,720 Speaker 5: that my grandmother left school in the eighth grade and 328 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:20,600 Speaker 5: as an adult, went back and got her ged and 329 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:25,879 Speaker 5: she was the one who constantly spoke to us about 330 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:32,879 Speaker 5: the importance of education and also recognizing the doors that 331 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:40,000 Speaker 5: open for you when you do have an education. As 332 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:47,040 Speaker 5: I sit here now working in higher ed, you know, 333 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:52,240 Speaker 5: in this changing world that we're in, I recognize, I 334 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:56,400 Speaker 5: do still recognize the value and importance of higher education, 335 00:22:57,359 --> 00:23:03,200 Speaker 5: but I also recognize is the difference between and want 336 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:07,560 Speaker 5: us to take away from this conversation the difference between 337 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:15,280 Speaker 5: education and literacy, right, the difference between formal college education 338 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:24,600 Speaker 5: and being educated in other ways. That while education is important, 339 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:29,760 Speaker 5: literacy is that piece of education that's most important. So 340 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:36,399 Speaker 5: whether that is literacy in the terms of specifically knowing 341 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:44,040 Speaker 5: how to read and write, or is it digital literacy, 342 00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:51,199 Speaker 5: so knowing how to navigate technology, is it financial literacy? 343 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,840 Speaker 5: And so wanting us to really understand that literacy isn't 344 00:23:56,480 --> 00:24:00,040 Speaker 5: only about reading and writing or a formal education, and 345 00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:07,320 Speaker 5: it truly is about how you learn to navigate different 346 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:11,840 Speaker 5: pieces of your world. What about for you team, Well. 347 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:13,160 Speaker 4: Don, I'm glad you brought that up, because I feel 348 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,680 Speaker 4: like when I when I was saying education, I was 349 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 4: sort of coupling literacy and education and putting them in 350 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:20,040 Speaker 4: a cent in the same bucket. But I think that 351 00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:26,200 Speaker 4: there is often this misconception that or no, I think 352 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:29,000 Speaker 4: there's often this thought that like education is only like 353 00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:33,840 Speaker 4: structured knowledge in schooling. Right, So I'm glad that you 354 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:36,080 Speaker 4: made that distinction. I wou would say for me, same thing, 355 00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:40,000 Speaker 4: like education and literacy was very important in my household 356 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,040 Speaker 4: and my mom I remember we used to hate this, 357 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:45,560 Speaker 4: but she would have us doing What is it called 358 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,240 Speaker 4: when you used to write the same thing over and over? 359 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:48,400 Speaker 4: Is it called standards? 360 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:49,119 Speaker 7: What was that called? 361 00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:52,800 Speaker 5: You ever used to have to remember? I can't remember that. 362 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:55,800 Speaker 5: We used to call it writing lines, that's. 363 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,480 Speaker 7: Right, mind, okay, I'm not to look at it after 364 00:24:58,480 --> 00:24:58,800 Speaker 7: a lady. 365 00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:02,960 Speaker 5: If you know definition, it's nothing, that's the actual. But 366 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,120 Speaker 5: we used to writing lines, Yeah. 367 00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,520 Speaker 7: Writing lines. I think it might be. Yeah, I think 368 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:08,520 Speaker 7: it might have been standards. 369 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,040 Speaker 4: I don't belate dm us if you know, like if 370 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,080 Speaker 4: you if you grew up and said, you know, they 371 00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:14,800 Speaker 4: said it was writing lines, let us know. And if 372 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,080 Speaker 4: it was standards, let us know. But we used to 373 00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:18,399 Speaker 4: have to write. We used to have to practice our cursive. 374 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,719 Speaker 4: We used to like we had education at home as well. 375 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:23,119 Speaker 4: So in addition to what we did at school, we 376 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:24,440 Speaker 4: were reading summer reading books. 377 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:27,160 Speaker 7: My mom did not play. She was like being cute, 378 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:28,520 Speaker 7: like it. 379 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,080 Speaker 4: Ain't all about being cute so far, okay, and like 380 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,160 Speaker 4: looking nice, y'all need to you need to have a brain. 381 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,080 Speaker 4: And so we were studying reading summer books. We were 382 00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:38,680 Speaker 4: in after school programs, like we did so much and 383 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,480 Speaker 4: so it was like a non negotiable, like it was 384 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:43,960 Speaker 4: all about a's and b's and it was very serious 385 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,800 Speaker 4: in my household. And I'm so grateful for that now 386 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:49,439 Speaker 4: because as Dean was talking about crying every night when 387 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 4: he was thirty two because reading was so hard, like 388 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,200 Speaker 4: I just for the first time I did. And now 389 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,600 Speaker 4: we'll talk about this offline. But I went to a 390 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:04,440 Speaker 4: circus class last night and I decided to try the trapeze. 391 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:08,159 Speaker 4: And I remember, in addition, just like trying juggling, and 392 00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:10,480 Speaker 4: what is the line that you walk on? I can't 393 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,880 Speaker 4: remember what it's called, the tightrope, trying the type rope 394 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:15,240 Speaker 4: for the first time. I did all this last night, 395 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:17,480 Speaker 4: and I remember the trapeze was cool. But when I 396 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,200 Speaker 4: got up to the ladder at the top and was 397 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,840 Speaker 4: about to swing, that's when all the anxiety hit me. 398 00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:24,480 Speaker 4: And I was just like the adrenaline and I was 399 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:26,879 Speaker 4: very nervous. I was like, I'm not about to let 400 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:30,000 Speaker 4: these people watch me walk down the ladder, like I'm 401 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:33,040 Speaker 4: gonna finish what I started. But I think about how 402 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:35,520 Speaker 4: when you're starting a new journey, especially at this age, 403 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,000 Speaker 4: like it just takes a lot more time. You know, 404 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:42,520 Speaker 4: imagine starting ballet at like thirty two, like you got 405 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,400 Speaker 4: to start that when you're younger, so you can develop 406 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:48,320 Speaker 4: your body for that particular skill. And so it just 407 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,280 Speaker 4: made me think about the gratitude that I have for 408 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:55,080 Speaker 4: my parents instilling in me the education and reading and 409 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,480 Speaker 4: writing was so important because now it flows a lot 410 00:26:57,520 --> 00:26:58,160 Speaker 4: more seamlessly. 411 00:26:58,600 --> 00:26:59,120 Speaker 7: And the Lady. 412 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,119 Speaker 4: One of the things that Dom and I want to 413 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,880 Speaker 4: do is just kind of give you a little sneak 414 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,560 Speaker 4: peek into some of the tips that we've taken away 415 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,200 Speaker 4: from this conversation with Dean versus making you wait until 416 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,600 Speaker 4: the end. We've compiled some of the top ones that 417 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 4: we have here, and I would say the number one tip, 418 00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:16,959 Speaker 4: and these are in no particular order, but number one 419 00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:21,399 Speaker 4: is understanding what they being, either you or the children 420 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:25,040 Speaker 4: that you work with, Understanding what they want. I personally 421 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:26,639 Speaker 4: think this is important Don because I feel like if 422 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:31,440 Speaker 4: you understand like someone's motivating force, right or the driving 423 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:35,159 Speaker 4: force behind what they want, then you can kind of 424 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,200 Speaker 4: tie in literacy and education to that. 425 00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:38,600 Speaker 1: Right. 426 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,280 Speaker 4: So I think about the different things I'm trying to 427 00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:44,040 Speaker 4: get my daughter to, you know, get into, and I'm like, Okay, 428 00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:47,000 Speaker 4: she's like really into mosquitos right now. So she likes 429 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,320 Speaker 4: me to pretend that she's a miscatter girl. She watches 430 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:52,520 Speaker 4: these interesting little kids shows. They have a song about mosquitos, 431 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,639 Speaker 4: and so she's into that. So I'm like, Okay, how 432 00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:59,119 Speaker 4: can I attach you know, this obsession with mosquitos to 433 00:27:59,320 --> 00:27:59,960 Speaker 4: learning for her? 434 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:00,760 Speaker 2: Right? 435 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:02,800 Speaker 4: Like, if I know what she's what she likes, what 436 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,600 Speaker 4: she wants, what she's into, I can then cater her 437 00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,680 Speaker 4: curriculum to meet that, right. And so I think that's 438 00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:12,040 Speaker 4: that was really important as far as understanding, like, Okay, 439 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:13,399 Speaker 4: how can we connect the dots for them? 440 00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:14,120 Speaker 7: What do you think them? 441 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,680 Speaker 5: Yeah, I think that that's important, And because then what 442 00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:22,200 Speaker 5: that does is that ties into our second takeaway is 443 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:28,879 Speaker 5: finding a way to make students make children care. Right, 444 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:33,639 Speaker 5: And if you're taking number one, if you're understanding what 445 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:37,639 Speaker 5: they want, and you're you're showing an interest in the 446 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:42,000 Speaker 5: things that they're interested in, then it's easier for you 447 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:45,840 Speaker 5: to find a way to make them care about literacy, 448 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:51,600 Speaker 5: to make them care about the importance of their education. 449 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,720 Speaker 5: And for me, when I think about that, you know, 450 00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,800 Speaker 5: as a kid, there were oftentimes things that we were 451 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:06,040 Speaker 5: old that we needed to do or you won't understand 452 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:11,160 Speaker 5: until you're older that at the time telling me I'm 453 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:15,040 Speaker 5: not gonna understand till I get older is not helping 454 00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:18,240 Speaker 5: me get it right now. It's not helping me care 455 00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:24,080 Speaker 5: about it right now. Definitely as an older adult, you know, 456 00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:28,640 Speaker 5: as a grown person, I'm like, yeah, shit, I see 457 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:35,520 Speaker 5: it now. I care about it now because you know, 458 00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:38,920 Speaker 5: I think about like eating your vegetables and they talk 459 00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,080 Speaker 5: about how nutritious it is and how much it's important 460 00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:43,680 Speaker 5: for your overall health and get that now as a 461 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 5: grown person. But as a kid, okay, because it's not McDonald's. 462 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:53,160 Speaker 5: Because if that's what if I wanted McDonald's or I 463 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:58,360 Speaker 5: wanted pizza, like eating those vegetables, you're not making me 464 00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:03,360 Speaker 5: care if pizza is what I want, right And so 465 00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:06,680 Speaker 5: I think it's about I think the other takeaway that 466 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,800 Speaker 5: Dean shared with us is just finding a way to 467 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:16,440 Speaker 5: make them care, make them understand that reading is important. 468 00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:18,600 Speaker 5: Literacy in general is important. 469 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:21,760 Speaker 4: Yes, girl, amen to that. And Tom, it made me 470 00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:24,640 Speaker 4: think about those erotic books I used to read when 471 00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:26,400 Speaker 4: I was in high school. And it's so funny because 472 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:30,480 Speaker 4: I if I had to read for freaking school or 473 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:32,720 Speaker 4: read a textbook, I was like, oh my gosh, baby, 474 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,080 Speaker 4: I would read that erotic book in like a day 475 00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:37,320 Speaker 4: or less, okay, a few hours, because I was so 476 00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 4: interested in the content. 477 00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:40,280 Speaker 7: I was nosy. I'm like, oh, what they doing? I 478 00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:41,200 Speaker 7: want to know, you know what I mean? 479 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:42,960 Speaker 4: I think about the coldest winter ever and stuff like 480 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:44,960 Speaker 4: that where it's like, oh, I read them books really 481 00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:48,480 Speaker 4: fast because I cared about the content. Right, So saying now, 482 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,400 Speaker 4: I'm not saying to give your children those books, you know, 483 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:52,880 Speaker 4: I'm just giving an example. And I do want to say, also, 484 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:58,120 Speaker 4: Dom you being a you know, PhD, also being a professor, 485 00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:00,920 Speaker 4: right having, I'm sure that they're different techniques that you 486 00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:03,080 Speaker 4: use for your students when it comes to education and 487 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,840 Speaker 4: literacy and all that good stuff. I think about me, 488 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:08,520 Speaker 4: you know, being a mom, but also raising my younger 489 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,040 Speaker 4: siblings and being like you know, in my past life 490 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:13,160 Speaker 4: being a youth speaker and going into schools and speaking 491 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,640 Speaker 4: to children. I've learned a lot about how to connect 492 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,440 Speaker 4: with kids because of that work, and I know you 493 00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:19,800 Speaker 4: have too, So, lady, in case you're wondering, like y'all 494 00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:22,760 Speaker 4: talking about education and literacy, be about that life in 495 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:24,760 Speaker 4: real life too, right, so we can offer some tips 496 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:28,520 Speaker 4: for you. The other thing that Deane mentioned was finding 497 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:30,840 Speaker 4: a mentor. And I want to add on, like finding 498 00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:35,040 Speaker 4: a relatable mentor. I remember when I was in summer camp. Girl, Okay, 499 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,800 Speaker 4: I remember when I was in summer camp. It had 500 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:40,280 Speaker 4: to be I had to be like under the age 501 00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,360 Speaker 4: of twelve because I was still living in San Diego 502 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:45,760 Speaker 4: at the time. Now, I remember this young black woman. 503 00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,720 Speaker 4: I don't remember her name, I know she was in 504 00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:50,320 Speaker 4: my young mind. I was like, oh my gosh, she's 505 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:53,200 Speaker 4: black like me, and she's cute and fly, and I 506 00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:55,400 Speaker 4: just like admire her so much. And I think that 507 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,800 Speaker 4: if we can find people that are young people or 508 00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,160 Speaker 4: even that we admire, who are like us, that we 509 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:05,320 Speaker 4: gravitate towards, they can make such an impact on our life. 510 00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:07,920 Speaker 4: They can have so much more influence on us because 511 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,880 Speaker 4: they connect with us. I think about when I used 512 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,840 Speaker 4: to go into high schools and middle schools to go 513 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:13,360 Speaker 4: speak to kids, and you. 514 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:15,000 Speaker 7: Know, usually their teachers were there. 515 00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:16,760 Speaker 4: But when I came in and with my little you know, 516 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:19,320 Speaker 4: my little fly fit on and I look kind of hip, 517 00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:21,440 Speaker 4: That's what they would tell me. At least they were 518 00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,120 Speaker 4: down to listen to what I was saying. Right Like, 519 00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:24,840 Speaker 4: the teachers would come up to me like, how did 520 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:27,000 Speaker 4: you get the student to share this with you or 521 00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:30,160 Speaker 4: you know, adhere to like listen to what you said. 522 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,719 Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm just connecting with them. I'm just relating 523 00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:34,080 Speaker 4: to them. And I feel like if we can find 524 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,800 Speaker 4: those relatable mentors, it can be a game changer for 525 00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:39,920 Speaker 4: the student or the child's trajectory. 526 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:48,120 Speaker 5: Yeah, definitely definitely agree with that. And it's really also 527 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:54,000 Speaker 5: in terms of that relatability, it's about seeing someone who 528 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:58,200 Speaker 5: may be doing what you want to do right, and 529 00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:03,400 Speaker 5: that can be the thing that makes it relatable, even 530 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:07,480 Speaker 5: if you're not there yet, but seeing that person who's 531 00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:11,080 Speaker 5: doing what you want to do and finding a way 532 00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:15,360 Speaker 5: to connect with them. And I think also being clear 533 00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:25,600 Speaker 5: that oftentimes, particularly in adulthood, finding a mentor is not 534 00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:30,320 Speaker 5: an easy process and not a oh, hey you meet 535 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,200 Speaker 5: this person one time, Hey do you want to be 536 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:35,840 Speaker 5: my mentor? That's not how it works. And even for 537 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:40,320 Speaker 5: your kids going up to a person that they're like, oh, 538 00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:42,360 Speaker 5: I want to connect with them and saying hey, can 539 00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:46,280 Speaker 5: you be my child's mentor, that's not how it works. 540 00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:54,040 Speaker 5: That the mentor relationship takes time to develop, and remembering 541 00:33:54,200 --> 00:34:00,520 Speaker 5: also that in finding that mentor. Sometimes person that you 542 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:05,120 Speaker 5: thought was going to be a good mentor, actually the 543 00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:10,120 Speaker 5: more you get to know them, you realize maybe they aren't, 544 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:15,640 Speaker 5: and so take them off the table of being a mentor. 545 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:21,279 Speaker 5: And so then that takes us to are Another tip 546 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:25,200 Speaker 5: that Dean shared that we want you to really pay 547 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:32,360 Speaker 5: attention to, particularly for our babies start developing habits of 548 00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:39,839 Speaker 5: reading and writing sooner rather than later. Y'all know, I'm 549 00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:47,040 Speaker 5: t dim over here. All my little ones under the 550 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:55,840 Speaker 5: age of five get educational toys, and Terry, can you 551 00:34:55,960 --> 00:35:02,160 Speaker 5: can attest to that with Yes, it's educational toys. It's 552 00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,000 Speaker 5: you're getting those letters that are gonna go up in 553 00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:11,440 Speaker 5: that tub. You're you're getting that book that makes all 554 00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:14,080 Speaker 5: the sounds, but it's teaching you. You're it's teaching you words. 555 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:21,600 Speaker 5: You're getting that musical playground where you kick your feet, 556 00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:26,320 Speaker 5: but you're also learning musical notes, and they're teaching you 557 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:32,680 Speaker 5: your alphabets. And so for me, it's really making sure 558 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:39,239 Speaker 5: that from from birth the babies are learning how to 559 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:44,719 Speaker 5: read and from a developmental level, right like you've got 560 00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:47,880 Speaker 5: to learn your alphabets before you learn how to read words. 561 00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:54,400 Speaker 5: But really making sure and also for me talking to 562 00:35:54,719 --> 00:36:00,520 Speaker 5: them like a regular person and not that b baby talk. 563 00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:06,839 Speaker 5: I'm home, you know, I think BABYZ might have been. 564 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,719 Speaker 5: She wasn't even a year old, and every time I 565 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:15,360 Speaker 5: saw her we would have conversation. Now, her level of 566 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:19,520 Speaker 5: conversation and my words are different, obviously, but I was 567 00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:26,560 Speaker 5: giving her adult words so that she would start to 568 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:32,720 Speaker 5: learn how to use adult words. 569 00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:35,040 Speaker 2: Amen. 570 00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,799 Speaker 4: And I keep forgetting that sometimes this is someone's first 571 00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:40,439 Speaker 4: time listening to the podcast. But baby Z is my daughter, y'all, 572 00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:43,319 Speaker 4: cause you were like, wait, who is this baby? So yes, Dom, 573 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,120 Speaker 4: you are so spot on there. I think the best 574 00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,319 Speaker 4: thing you can do is start now, like, even if 575 00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:51,479 Speaker 4: your child isn't younger, even if you're struggling with reading 576 00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:54,000 Speaker 4: right now, like, start now right because when you look 577 00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:56,200 Speaker 4: up a year from now, time is going to pass regardless, 578 00:36:56,239 --> 00:37:00,520 Speaker 4: so you might as well start doing what you need 579 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:02,640 Speaker 4: to do now to help you achieve that goal. And 580 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:04,400 Speaker 4: just to go back to what you said, Dom, I 581 00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:07,240 Speaker 4: want to add in here, start developing habits of reading, writing, 582 00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:10,440 Speaker 4: and speaking, which you kind of touched on. And I 583 00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:12,640 Speaker 4: say that because, like you said, we never have done 584 00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:14,880 Speaker 4: baby talk like at all. Because in my mind, I'm 585 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:16,600 Speaker 4: like why would I want her to practice something and 586 00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:18,840 Speaker 4: get used to a habit that we're going to have 587 00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,319 Speaker 4: to try to get her out of. Like we use 588 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:25,520 Speaker 4: full conversation. So even now my daughter says something, I'm like, okay, 589 00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:28,360 Speaker 4: let's use our words. When we're ordering food at a restaurant, 590 00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:29,880 Speaker 4: she gets to order and speak to the person. I 591 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:31,800 Speaker 4: want her to be comfortable looking people in the eyes, 592 00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:35,480 Speaker 4: having conversations. We also do affirmations right dom And so 593 00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:37,880 Speaker 4: usually before she goes to sleep every night, I tell 594 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:40,799 Speaker 4: her you're beautiful, you're brilliant, you're happy, all these different things. 595 00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:42,600 Speaker 4: So the other night, I guess I didn't do it 596 00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:44,719 Speaker 4: fast enough, and she said, Mommy. 597 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:46,120 Speaker 7: Can you tell me I'm happy? And I was like, oh, 598 00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:49,560 Speaker 7: you want to do affirmations? I thought. I was like, 599 00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:50,280 Speaker 7: oh my gosh. 600 00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,480 Speaker 4: And even in the car coming back from school, she's like, 601 00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:55,640 Speaker 4: can you ask me about my day? I was like, oh, 602 00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:58,600 Speaker 4: I guess I wasn't fast enough today. So getting them 603 00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:02,360 Speaker 4: into that habit, even reading. Right before we started recording, 604 00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:04,560 Speaker 4: I sent down a video of baby Z from when 605 00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:08,080 Speaker 4: she was an infant on a bed, pretending I'm going 606 00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:10,520 Speaker 4: to say to read a book. She's literally just saying, 607 00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:13,720 Speaker 4: baby gibberish. But baby, she was pointing out the words, 608 00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:17,080 Speaker 4: flipping the pages and getting them into that habit. It's 609 00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,479 Speaker 4: going to stick with them. I'm sure you're an avid reader. 610 00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:20,680 Speaker 4: When did you start reading? 611 00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:23,399 Speaker 2: Oh? 612 00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:30,719 Speaker 5: I can't remember how old I was, but I can 613 00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:34,960 Speaker 5: recall from early on, like I can recall in elementary 614 00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:40,799 Speaker 5: school reading and also reading books that I know. By 615 00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:43,360 Speaker 5: the time I got some middle school, I was reading 616 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:49,520 Speaker 5: adult books like I'm in middle school reading Waiting to 617 00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:55,320 Speaker 5: Exhale and other Terry McMillan books at like eleven and twelve. Now, granted, 618 00:38:55,840 --> 00:39:01,880 Speaker 5: did I fully understand all of these adult lessons? No, 619 00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:03,840 Speaker 5: but I knew all the words in the book, and 620 00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:06,120 Speaker 5: then if I didn't know the word, I was looking 621 00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:11,120 Speaker 5: it up in the dictionary. That's right, which addiction today? Same, 622 00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:12,800 Speaker 5: I don't know the word, look it up because I 623 00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:13,279 Speaker 5: need to know. 624 00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:15,880 Speaker 4: Yes, look it up, and also sometimes I look up 625 00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:17,719 Speaker 4: how to pronounce it to make sure I'm saying right 626 00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:19,480 Speaker 4: and that the surus is the best friend. But I 627 00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:22,560 Speaker 4: will say before we dive into the last and final tip, Lady, 628 00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:26,200 Speaker 4: as black people in particular, like knowledge and reading is 629 00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:28,839 Speaker 4: so important to us because when you think about our ancestors. 630 00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:32,919 Speaker 4: We're not allowed to do it, right, Our answertors weren't 631 00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:34,840 Speaker 4: allowed to do it when they were exactly when they 632 00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:38,560 Speaker 4: were enslaved, they could not read because the slave masters 633 00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:43,279 Speaker 4: knew that reading and knowledge was their freedom right. Because 634 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:46,399 Speaker 4: if you can converse, if you understand what things say, 635 00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:48,680 Speaker 4: then you know what you have access to, you know 636 00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,359 Speaker 4: about your rights, you can ask and advocate for certain things, 637 00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:53,320 Speaker 4: and so I think for us it's just so important 638 00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:56,319 Speaker 4: that we do develop that skill. So that's pretty much 639 00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:58,560 Speaker 4: what I want to say about that fourth tip. And 640 00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:01,880 Speaker 4: the fifth and final one is monitor your circle or 641 00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:05,040 Speaker 4: the young people's circle that live under you, that are 642 00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:07,759 Speaker 4: with you. So monitor their circle because oftentimes, you know 643 00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:11,759 Speaker 4: how they say, if you have four broke friends and 644 00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:14,520 Speaker 4: you the fifth person in that group, guess who about 645 00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:18,879 Speaker 4: to be broke? Y'all yep, m hm. So you really 646 00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:21,640 Speaker 4: do become the people that you hang around. I remember 647 00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:24,279 Speaker 4: someone saying that a speaking engagement, who are the five 648 00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:28,080 Speaker 4: people you talk to most, right, because oftentimes those are 649 00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:30,040 Speaker 4: the people that will be rubbing off on you, right, 650 00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:31,480 Speaker 4: those are the people that you're sharing your goals and 651 00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:36,000 Speaker 4: dreams with. And so their perspectives oftentimes become your perspectives, right, 652 00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,680 Speaker 4: And so I think it's just important to monitor our circle. 653 00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:41,319 Speaker 4: But also what we're letting into our psyche, what we're 654 00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:44,160 Speaker 4: letting into our mind, what we're listening to, what we're consuming. 655 00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:47,080 Speaker 4: All that stuff is so important because over time it 656 00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:48,759 Speaker 4: really does tend to influence us. 657 00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:54,560 Speaker 5: Yes, so quickly, lay cap yep, go ahead, go ahead, down. 658 00:40:55,719 --> 00:41:02,120 Speaker 5: So literacy is super important, and in this conversation, this 659 00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:06,200 Speaker 5: continued conversation with Dean Tolson, you will take away that 660 00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:12,320 Speaker 5: it's important to understand what kids want. It's important to 661 00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:16,880 Speaker 5: find a way to make them care. They need to 662 00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:24,840 Speaker 5: find a relatable mentor. It's super important to start developing 663 00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:30,640 Speaker 5: habits of reading and writing sooner rather than later. And 664 00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:36,520 Speaker 5: they need to monitor their inner circle. So let's dive 665 00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:41,840 Speaker 5: right back into this inspiring interview. Now, mister Toulson, you 666 00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:48,759 Speaker 5: mentioned not being able to read. How do you go 667 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:54,040 Speaker 5: from not being able to read and having someone taking 668 00:41:54,320 --> 00:42:02,760 Speaker 5: your exams to get into college to then graduating magna 669 00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:06,000 Speaker 5: cum laudey and earning a master's degree? Like, how did 670 00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:07,520 Speaker 5: what was that? 671 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:09,640 Speaker 6: I never had an education period. 672 00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:16,600 Speaker 2: I'm still not educated right now, I'm self taught. 673 00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:19,920 Speaker 5: But the secret is. 674 00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:23,240 Speaker 6: Is to teach kids how to teach. 675 00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:25,719 Speaker 2: They sell early and then they will get. 676 00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:28,640 Speaker 6: An education as they go through the process. They will 677 00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:29,239 Speaker 6: learn it. 678 00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:34,480 Speaker 2: Systematically like they're supposed to learn it. I didn't mind 679 00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:41,200 Speaker 2: was sporadically. There was no systematical strategy to be learning whatsoever. 680 00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:44,280 Speaker 6: I did it by hook or by crook. 681 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:50,680 Speaker 2: That's not learning. And what it's cheating for you? Okay, 682 00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:55,360 Speaker 2: it's a gift. And you must be careful when you 683 00:42:55,440 --> 00:43:01,680 Speaker 2: accept gifts from people because gifts don't cope with value. 684 00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:07,799 Speaker 2: You don't value gifts. You value what you earn. If 685 00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:11,520 Speaker 2: you give a sixteen year old kid a car and 686 00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:14,560 Speaker 2: it's a nice Coorevett and that's really fast, he's gonna 687 00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:18,759 Speaker 2: take it out record. But if you buy this out, 688 00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:20,480 Speaker 2: he ain't elect car. 689 00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:26,680 Speaker 4: The facts okaya, like, how does the catch work? 690 00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:31,359 Speaker 6: Your value? Because you earned it. In anything you don't earn, 691 00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:32,920 Speaker 6: you value less. 692 00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:38,279 Speaker 5: You love to get it. The conversation today has been 693 00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:44,320 Speaker 5: centered around the things that you have overcome, right, particularly 694 00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:50,680 Speaker 5: learning to read. And so we know that you are 695 00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:58,800 Speaker 5: promoting your book and also doing speaking engagements when you 696 00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:02,280 Speaker 5: are speaking with young people about the importance of literacy. 697 00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:07,800 Speaker 5: What what are like the top three things that you 698 00:44:08,239 --> 00:44:10,680 Speaker 5: focus on when you're speaking with the young folks. 699 00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,480 Speaker 6: Oh, I want them. 700 00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:18,399 Speaker 2: To understand their own personal value in life. 701 00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:20,200 Speaker 5: Mm hmmm. 702 00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:22,239 Speaker 6: Who are you? 703 00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:25,680 Speaker 2: What do you want? 704 00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:26,960 Speaker 4: Yeah? 705 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:30,399 Speaker 2: What's inside here? And you? Who are you? For real? 706 00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:31,200 Speaker 2: We'll see. 707 00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:33,120 Speaker 6: That's what I found out and I went back to school. 708 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,120 Speaker 6: I'm just running around doing the wild. 709 00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:42,120 Speaker 2: Stuff, doing a wild thing, and attention to me who. 710 00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:43,560 Speaker 6: I am, what I got and what I can do. 711 00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:49,000 Speaker 2: I'm I'm just balling and beeting guys, playing ball, not 712 00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:52,759 Speaker 2: focusing on any of this. It's all my kids that 713 00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:58,200 Speaker 2: focus in on that. And when once you find yourself, 714 00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:05,320 Speaker 2: you can do wonderful things. You make better decisions, better choices, 715 00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:14,640 Speaker 2: better understanding, better people's skills, better life skills, better overall 716 00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:21,000 Speaker 2: feeling good about yourself. Little black boys when they come 717 00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:23,279 Speaker 2: and they first meet too, they got to hit down 718 00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:26,600 Speaker 2: like this, it's your name. 719 00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:28,440 Speaker 6: What are you ashamed of? 720 00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:30,480 Speaker 2: Why you it? 721 00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:32,400 Speaker 6: Guess your head up and looking at me when you 722 00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:36,399 Speaker 6: shake my hand. They don't even know why. 723 00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:36,680 Speaker 1: They do it. 724 00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:40,520 Speaker 2: They sell I used to do it. Yeah, because there's 725 00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:44,160 Speaker 2: a self complex that you have in your inner self 726 00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:47,640 Speaker 2: where you don't feel like you measure up when you're 727 00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:50,719 Speaker 2: worthy of and what you are and what you can 728 00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:54,400 Speaker 2: offer to the world in society, you don't feel it. 729 00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:59,480 Speaker 2: When you feel that, you don't have any trouble doing that, 730 00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:06,200 Speaker 2: we get confidence in you and yourself. I'll look the 731 00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:08,800 Speaker 2: President of the United States and I right now and 732 00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:09,719 Speaker 2: tell him what I want. 733 00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:14,800 Speaker 4: That's right, that's right, And that's so powerful though, because 734 00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:17,960 Speaker 4: understanding what you want out of life, I feel like 735 00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:19,920 Speaker 4: that can also be a great motivator. It'll make you 736 00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,279 Speaker 4: want to show up and learn the material you need 737 00:46:22,320 --> 00:46:24,720 Speaker 4: to learn because you have goals that you want to achieve. 738 00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:27,840 Speaker 4: So for parents who might have young people who are 739 00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:31,280 Speaker 4: falling behind, or young people who are just not interested 740 00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:33,000 Speaker 4: in school. You know how, sometimes you have a teacher 741 00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:35,520 Speaker 4: you're like, I don't really what advice would you give? 742 00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:37,600 Speaker 4: What advice would you give them? For those that are 743 00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:39,920 Speaker 4: having that have young people that are struggling with school 744 00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:40,440 Speaker 4: right now. 745 00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:45,279 Speaker 2: We all have to have mentors. 746 00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:48,160 Speaker 6: Your agree absolutely. 747 00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:51,920 Speaker 2: To motivate and help inspire you. 748 00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:54,600 Speaker 6: And I care about education. I'm all want to do it. 749 00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:57,520 Speaker 6: I'll give it that what you my head would hurt 750 00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:58,120 Speaker 6: my eyes. 751 00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:01,560 Speaker 2: Well, go back to school. Cry every night. 752 00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:07,320 Speaker 6: M at thirty two years. 753 00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:14,680 Speaker 2: Old, cry every night because it's pain to learn when 754 00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:18,680 Speaker 2: you get you young, it's not painful because you don't 755 00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:19,880 Speaker 2: know any better. 756 00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:22,160 Speaker 1: Teaching you. 757 00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:25,480 Speaker 4: Do. 758 00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:26,200 Speaker 6: This makes sense. 759 00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:31,040 Speaker 5: Yes, yes, it definitely, it definitely does. When we think 760 00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:36,600 Speaker 5: about you know, what we're taught in, like developmental psychology, 761 00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:39,480 Speaker 5: is that you know, if you want to learn a 762 00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:44,880 Speaker 5: new language, it's important to teach kids to learn that language. 763 00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:48,400 Speaker 5: It's a lot easier to learn that new language before 764 00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:51,840 Speaker 5: the age of three to start learning it. Then the 765 00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:55,040 Speaker 5: older we get, the harder it is to learn to 766 00:47:55,239 --> 00:48:02,960 Speaker 5: learn something new. Knowing it at thirty two exactly, exactly amazing. 767 00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:10,480 Speaker 5: It is definitely amazing. It's truly truly inspiring. 768 00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:14,920 Speaker 4: Your story is so inspiring, Dean. I know that this 769 00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:19,320 Speaker 4: is definitely going to encourage our listeners, and this is 770 00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:22,319 Speaker 4: going to just encourage a diverse audience. Right there's something 771 00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:24,520 Speaker 4: that each person can pull from this conversation. And we 772 00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:28,440 Speaker 4: want to thank you so much for your time, your discipline, dedication, 773 00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:30,600 Speaker 4: your book. We'd love for you to just share with 774 00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:32,680 Speaker 4: our listeners where can they find your book, how can 775 00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:35,480 Speaker 4: they support you, and if there are any next steps 776 00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:37,360 Speaker 4: that you like them to take. Feel free to share. 777 00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:43,839 Speaker 2: Com okay, and you can send me messages on there. 778 00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:48,239 Speaker 2: I got a page. I think it's on the the 779 00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:52,960 Speaker 2: media page and the book page the main comments, and 780 00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:56,759 Speaker 2: I like people out there after they see the book, 781 00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:59,080 Speaker 2: go out write me a shark book review on the 782 00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:02,600 Speaker 2: Amazon page. Agent. Let to help other people get inspired 783 00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:06,200 Speaker 2: about the book and help our kids in the community. 784 00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:10,680 Speaker 5: Hey lady, it's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her 785 00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:14,680 Speaker 5: Space podcast. Are you currently a resident of the state 786 00:49:14,760 --> 00:49:20,040 Speaker 5: of California and contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so, 787 00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:25,000 Speaker 5: please reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com. 788 00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:30,520 Speaker 5: That's d R D O M I N I q 789 00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:35,200 Speaker 5: U E B R O U S s ar D 790 00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:40,880 Speaker 5: dot com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I 791 00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:45,720 Speaker 5: look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for joining us today. 792 00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:52,200 Speaker 5: Please note that our show may contain conversations about self help, advice, 793 00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:57,080 Speaker 5: self empowerment, and mental health, but is by no means 794 00:49:57,360 --> 00:50:00,200 Speaker 5: meant to be a substitute for an ongoing form more 795 00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:04,680 Speaker 5: relationship with a trained mental health provider. If you are 796 00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:07,440 Speaker 5: someone you know is in need of mental health care, 797 00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:12,600 Speaker 5: please visit a therapy for Black Girls directory Psychology Today, 798 00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:15,440 Speaker 5: or contact your insurance provider. 799 00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:17,480 Speaker 4: If you liked what you heard and want to keep 800 00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:21,120 Speaker 4: the conversation going, visit our website at herspace podcast dot 801 00:50:21,239 --> 00:50:23,759 Speaker 4: com and be sure to click the Patreon link to 802 00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:27,799 Speaker 4: get access to video content, bonuses, and our weekly after show. 803 00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:32,280 Speaker 4: And before we meet again, repeat after me. The universe 804 00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:36,560 Speaker 4: is conspiring for my success. I trust the process and 805 00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:37,760 Speaker 4: surrender to the flow.