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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Jonas is Sam your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts.

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Speaker 2: We have some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 3: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 3: from the sponsors that keep the show alive. My friends

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Speaker 3: hated me because I can't suppress my turents.

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Speaker 1: Those are not your friends.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes direct from the r slash

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Speaker 3: Okay Storytime suburb. When I was almost four, I was

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Speaker 3: diagnosed with a rare form of epilepsy.

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Speaker 4: Fast forward to my thirties.

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Speaker 3: I had adapted to suppressing my spasms and ticks to

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Speaker 3: the point where it would cause me pain, migrains, and worse.

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Speaker 3: Because I was stressing my body to fight against my issues.

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Speaker 3: I would hide myself from people for hours to months

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Speaker 3: when I couldn't suppress my symptoms. The neurologist I had

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Speaker 3: as a child ignored me when I said something was

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Speaker 3: wrong and that I couldn't control what came out of

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Speaker 3: my mouth, so I felt I had no option to

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Speaker 3: get help. By the way, this comes from user tall

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Speaker 3: Lie thirteen twenty eight. I got involved with a nerdy

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Speaker 3: group that would do hangouts in game times online, both

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Speaker 3: publicly and privately, and I felt more alive knowing that

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Speaker 3: some one other than my husband wanted me around.

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Speaker 2: Oh sweetie, baby.

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Speaker 3: Your tribe is out there, folks, you can find them.

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Speaker 3: I promise this isn't a criticism of my husband. He's

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Speaker 3: amazing and I'm so grateful that next year will be

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Speaker 3: twenty years married with him. I still fought to suppress

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Speaker 3: my weird outbursts or broken speech in front of people,

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Speaker 3: constantly riding the mute and off camera buttons to hide

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Speaker 3: my trauma. But I failed several times, and several people

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Speaker 3: who swore up and down they supported people with mental health,

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Speaker 3: neurotip and brain disabilities would very publicly support these issues

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Speaker 3: for other people.

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Speaker 4: While privately blackballing me for it. This broke my heart.

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Speaker 3: So I started seeking a proper diagnosis with better doctors

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Speaker 3: since I had my husband's insurance instead of being stuck

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Speaker 3: with my previous hospital. This was a long process due

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Speaker 3: to lockdowns, medical wait lists, and more. The fight to

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Speaker 3: get diagnosed ended up taking me almost five years. WHOA,

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Speaker 3: that's crazy. I feel like, if you have turets, it's

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Speaker 3: pretty clear you have turets.

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Speaker 4: Having a fight for five years is crazy.

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Speaker 1: Just to prove a point and be like, I'm pretty

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Speaker 1: sure I have something along those lines. It's like that

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Speaker 1: would take at least maybe a couple tries, but five years.

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Speaker 3: Dude in the doctor at first, when you're a kid,

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Speaker 3: just being like, Nah, you're weird. You're just weird and

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Speaker 3: there's something wrong with you. Stop doing that. During this time,

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Speaker 3: I explained to people that my brain had issues similar

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Speaker 3: to Taret's that were undiagnosed. I knew that I was

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Speaker 3: fighting to get diagnosed, but I didn't tell anyone except

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Speaker 3: a couple of people, that I was actually trying for

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Speaker 3: a diagnosis. During this time, my closest friends circle saw

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Speaker 3: me break into tick attacks and nerve issues backstage and

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Speaker 3: in private chats.

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Speaker 4: Several times.

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Speaker 3: They knew I was fighting to get diagnosed and was

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Speaker 3: determined to get to the doctor for another appointment.

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Speaker 4: Then I lost my dad.

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Speaker 3: When I lost my dad, it was extremely sudden. We

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Speaker 3: went from him feeling sick to being diagnosed with hyper

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Speaker 3: aggressive kid gone in six days.

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Speaker 1: That's insane.

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Speaker 4: Oh wow, hug your loved ones, folks, it could be

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Speaker 4: six days. That's crazy.

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Speaker 3: I lost dad in April of twenty twenty two. For context,

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Speaker 3: I was absolutely Daddy's girl. Me and him were very

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Speaker 3: close and I absolutely broke down. Dad was a pistol,

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Speaker 3: and I moved in with Mom for the next year

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Speaker 3: and a half to help her rebuild her life as

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Speaker 3: a disabled widow. During that time, life was crazy, and

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Speaker 3: I started going through the fight to get diagnosed again.

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Speaker 4: Now I'll kind of rush through.

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Speaker 3: The experiences of rebuilding life without Dad. I tell you,

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Speaker 3: he was a beloved man, and it was a very

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Speaker 3: hard and it was very hard for many of us

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Speaker 3: to rebuild our lives. In June twenty twenty three, I

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Speaker 3: was out in the mountains. I'm a nature photographer, so

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Speaker 3: I go out tracking animals and taking videos and pictures.

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Speaker 3: I also volunteer with DNR for protecting endangered animals and

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Speaker 3: helping track poachers.

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Speaker 4: I love my work.

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Speaker 3: While I was taking pictures of a badger, I noticed

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Speaker 3: the weather was getting worse.

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Speaker 2: Don't worry.

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Speaker 4: I was very careful and safe with the badger pictures.

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Speaker 3: Hurried back to my mom's house because the weather was

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Speaker 3: getting nasty. Me and my husband started moving the cars

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Speaker 3: around to get them both fully under the car port

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Speaker 3: to protect them from the hail. And then life struck me. Actually,

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Speaker 3: lightning struck me in my leg.

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Speaker 1: Do you have a wicked scar, wicked sca.

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Speaker 3: A bolt of lightning hit the street at the end

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Speaker 3: of the driveway, shot off sideways and hit me square

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Speaker 3: my leg.

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Speaker 1: What you got ricochet?

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Speaker 4: Lightning struck.

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Speaker 1: That's literally like one of those things you've seen in

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Speaker 1: like a movie or like a video game. Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: got video gamed movies. I guess that's that's.

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Speaker 3: A way to get struck by lightning, because it's kind

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Speaker 3: of like indirect. It's like you probably lose a little

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Speaker 3: bit of charge when it hits the ground and then

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Speaker 3: it like ricochet.

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Speaker 4: That's nuts. I didn't even know that was possible.

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Speaker 1: That's wild.

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Speaker 3: We were in a tiny town about an hour and

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Speaker 3: a multiple mountain passes away from the hospital, so we

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Speaker 3: watched me carefully and watched the weather carefully.

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Speaker 4: You didn't even go to the haw the spin all.

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Speaker 4: You're literally unstoppable.

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Speaker 3: Over the next few months, I had a lot of

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Speaker 3: appointments with neurologists, not just to figure out the turets,

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Speaker 3: but to figure out the damage the lightning did and

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Speaker 3: why my tics had gotten so much worse.

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Speaker 4: I had lost all ability to control the tics at all.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow, Suppressing was not an option, and I was

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Speaker 3: ticking more and more all the time. In the meantime,

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Speaker 3: one of the friends I had been so close to

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Speaker 3: was starting to act weird with me. I tried to

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Speaker 3: say it was all in my mind, but it very

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Speaker 3: much wasn't. But more on that later. Twenty twenty four

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Speaker 3: rolled around and I got my official diagnosis for turets.

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Speaker 4: This should have been pure relief at forty years old.

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Speaker 3: Something was finally diagnosed that should have been caught honestly

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Speaker 3: at age five at the latest. But something happened that

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Speaker 3: was much worse than I could imagine regarding my health

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Speaker 3: and the clinic and neurologists I was dealing with. Not

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Speaker 3: only did they absolutely not listen to me when I

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Speaker 3: had serious negative medical reactions to a test they were doing,

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Speaker 3: but they decided to fill in my race for me

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Speaker 3: on my medical papers. This is a big no no anyway,

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Speaker 3: but it was way worse. I am a diagnosed albino,

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Speaker 3: another long story, and genuinely I am a very weird

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Speaker 3: medical case.

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Speaker 4: Shout outs to those.

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Speaker 2: I'm also one of those.

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Speaker 4: I have a weird illness called pleva that lurks within

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Speaker 4: my genetics to this day.

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Speaker 1: Is that the one where like it's basically is like it.

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Speaker 3: It ranges from like it could be chicken pox to

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Speaker 3: like massive open lesions all over your body. I had

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Speaker 3: the it never got that bad for me, but there's

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Speaker 3: people who have it that are just like bedridden for

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Speaker 3: the rest of their lives. I am a member of

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Speaker 3: the Oglala oh I hope I say that right Oglala

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Speaker 3: Lakota tribe, and my id on file at the doctor's

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Speaker 3: office is my tribal id with blood quantum listed on

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Speaker 3: the image. This file also includes the diagnosis for albinism.

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Speaker 3: At the question race, I choose, I choose what I

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Speaker 3: have always chosen since going through IHS as a child.

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Speaker 3: Choose not to answer my history with how people have

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Speaker 3: treated me for being albino is not positive and I

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Speaker 3: have issues with people listing me by my race. When

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Speaker 3: they gave me my paperwork for my turet's diagnosis, I

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Speaker 3: saw that the race spot right above the tribal info

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Speaker 3: had been changed to white. At this point, I didn't

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Speaker 3: even say a word. I walked out, seeing red and raging,

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Speaker 3: feeling back in the constant trauma of being told I

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Speaker 3: am not really Native by non native people my entire

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Speaker 3: life for being too pale. I went home with my husband,

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Speaker 3: told my friend circle about what they had done and

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Speaker 3: how much it did hurt me, and they all said

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Speaker 3: they supported me.

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Speaker 4: Fast forward to this year. There's a long story to

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Speaker 4: this as well, but one of the friends.

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Speaker 3: The one that had been acting weird towards me, had

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Speaker 3: a fit because I apparently insulted his answer slash joke

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Speaker 3: during a game of cards against Humanity because I didn't

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Speaker 3: find it funny.

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Speaker 1: Ah, dude, that's a tale as old as time.

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Speaker 5: Ah.

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Speaker 4: Can you imagine? Can you imagine getting that mad?

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Speaker 3: Can you imagine literally actually causing problems within the group because,

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Speaker 3: like of them, you didn't have a funny.

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Speaker 1: Joke, because of literally the one game where it's like,

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Speaker 1: sometimes your jokes are just not gonna hit.

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Speaker 3: He refused to let it go, bashed on me and

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Speaker 3: mocked my taste, called me hyper offended, kept bashing on me,

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Speaker 3: and then after all that, while I kept saying, drop it,

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Speaker 3: this is not worth fighting, he tried to gaslight and

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Speaker 3: claim I was the one starting a fight.

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Speaker 4: I told him to grow the f up.

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Speaker 3: He left and started telling everyone that I was faking

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Speaker 3: my issues, didn't have Tourette's and faked my trauma.

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Speaker 4: Blah blah blah blah blah.

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Speaker 3: I tried for hours with my friends to find out

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Speaker 3: why this happened. In the end, nothing had happened. I

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Speaker 3: didn't say a word to him, I didn't bash on him,

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Speaker 3: but he did to me, so he made public comments

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Speaker 3: mocking my issues and calling me vulgar insults. I still

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Speaker 3: said nothing to him, but other people who had been

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Speaker 3: our friends as well called him out for it, which

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Speaker 3: made him publicly attack me more and more. This is

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Speaker 3: a block button situation. This is why they make the

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Speaker 3: block button.

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Speaker 1: This guy's reaction is the joke.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, he's the joke now.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, at this point, it's like if there are people

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Speaker 3: bashing on you because you have turetts or being like

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Speaker 3: you don't actually even have touretts, do anything.

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Speaker 4: Crazy like that.

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Speaker 3: I don't think it's even that I lock and move

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Speaker 3: on and stay with the people who are supporting you.

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Speaker 1: He's just like so hurt because OPI didn't find his

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Speaker 1: one tagline or punt, you know, to like joke in

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Speaker 1: the card game funny, and that it blew up to

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Speaker 1: this proportion is insane.

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Speaker 3: I have never responded to him. Good job, girl, I

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Speaker 3: never attacked him. I just felt sad and I just cried.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, I just talked to our mutual friend through

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Speaker 3: his sadness at his friend turning on him and our

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Speaker 3: community for something no one was doing to him. I

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Speaker 3: still hold no malice toward the guy, but I will

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Speaker 3: not talk to him again. I will not help him

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Speaker 3: fix the void. But I keep wondering, was I that

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Speaker 3: hard to deal with? I guess the struggle I'm having

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Speaker 3: with is the sheer number of friends over the last

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Speaker 3: few years who have betrayed me for seeking help and

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Speaker 3: getting diagnosed. I don't understand it. And that's the end

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Speaker 3: of that story. I mean, you know, it's like a

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Speaker 3: lot of people have that fear that they're like too

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Speaker 3: much or like too much of a bother, Like you know,

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Speaker 3: but there's people who you know will show up for you.

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Speaker 4: When you need it.

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Speaker 3: And you know, if people are because you have like

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Speaker 3: mental health diagnosies and you were working through getting a

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Speaker 3: diagnosis you should have gotten when you were a kid,

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Speaker 3: and they're like, oh, look at ope, trying to be

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Speaker 3: like the special snowflake, it's like, just you know, those

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Speaker 3: aren't your people.

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Speaker 1: I think anyone doing that to discourage, you know, your

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Speaker 1: turettes that they're completely out of line. Yeah, it's one

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Speaker 1: of those things where, especially when we get older, friends

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Speaker 1: like you're just like, there are people who just you

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Speaker 1: don't need in your life. Friends, family, sometimes even they

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Speaker 1: just you divert those to those roads. This seems like

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Speaker 1: somebody that your friend group is also stepping away from

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Speaker 1: that they don't need to deal with it seems very toxic.

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Speaker 1: It seems like everything's working out by just pushing him away.

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Speaker 1: I don't think you did anything wrong. You know, you

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Speaker 1: have a You have your own things that you're okay

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Speaker 1: with and not okay with. If somebody isn't okay with that,

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Speaker 1: you disagree, move on. But it seemed like he wanted

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Speaker 1: to attack you, which is I don't see why he

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Speaker 1: did that. Now, there's no point in that. I just

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Speaker 1: it seems like it came from a place of insecurity.

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Speaker 1: My friend keeps making bad decisions and I'm getting tired

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Speaker 1: of it.

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Speaker 4: Well, why don't you take a nap?

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Speaker 1: Also, this comes from our community, so thank you for this.

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Speaker 1: I thirty four male, have been friends with my two

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Speaker 1: friends Dakota.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I'm not thirty one.

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Speaker 1: He's very close yet who is thirty one male and

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Speaker 1: Patrick thirty five mail for well over eighteen years. Patrick

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Speaker 1: and I used to be roommates and live moderately stable

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Speaker 1: lives with comfortable finances, while Dakota has spent most of

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Speaker 1: his life struggling in failing to keep up. What are

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Speaker 1: you doing, eh, you know you're struggling. You're failing to

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Speaker 1: keep up on a.

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Speaker 4: Real level, which you live below the poverty line. Long

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Speaker 4: enough you get very used to it.

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Speaker 1: It is worth noting that Patrick and I both have

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Speaker 1: been supportive at all times and had never viewed this

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Speaker 1: as a competition. By the way, this comes from user

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Speaker 1: hooked up forty seven. Now the backstory for Dakota. Dakota's

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Speaker 1: mother passed away in high school and since then he

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Speaker 1: lived with his grandfather. As his dad is a piece

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Speaker 1: of crap living a few states away, wanting nothing to

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Speaker 1: do with him, has always been out of the picture,

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Speaker 1: even after Dakota met him and tried to make efforts

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Speaker 1: to form a relationship. His father has a wife and kids,

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Speaker 1: all of which came after Dakota was born. With this

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Speaker 1: in mind, Dakota really never had anyone in his corner

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Speaker 1: outside of his grandfather. His broke slash immature uncle, and

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Speaker 1: Patrick and I as his best friends. With this came

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Speaker 1: the territory of feeling we needed to be there for

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Speaker 1: him more than other friends in our lives, as he

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Speaker 1: had nobody else. After high school, we all made Moore choices.

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Speaker 1: Didn't get back on track until our mid twenties, when

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Speaker 1: Patrick and I moved out of the state while Dakota

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Speaker 1: stayed with his grandfather. About five years later, we all

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Speaker 1: ended up back in North Carolina. Wow, where's Riley when

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Speaker 1: you need it?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, We're yes.

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Speaker 4: Riley's from North Carolina.

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Speaker 1: Patrick and I rented a house my father owned under

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Speaker 1: a lease to own agreement for me with cheap rent

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Speaker 1: of five hundred dollars each, a rare deal in Charlotte

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Speaker 1: where a thousand dollars a month would be cheap. By then,

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Speaker 1: Patrick and I both had stable jobs making about forty

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Speaker 1: k each, and we're saving money. While Dakota seemed focused

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Speaker 1: entirely on his fiance, Ali, who was also his boss

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Speaker 1: at a local restaurant. We were happy for him, even

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Speaker 1: if he never had time to see us, as most

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Speaker 1: of our old friends still live with their parents. Then,

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Speaker 1: seemingly out of nowhere, Ali broke off the engagement.

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Speaker 4: Oh, missus boss.

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Speaker 1: It's no longer missus boss. It's back to boss.

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Speaker 2: No.

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Speaker 1: Dakota went from being unavailable to wanting to hang out constantly,

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Speaker 1: sometimes even sleeping on our couch. Though he still lived

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Speaker 1: rent free with his grandfather. Given he was making about

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Speaker 1: forty k, we figured he must have been saving a lot.

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Speaker 1: Over the next year, it became clear Dakota's mental health

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Speaker 1: was struggling. Every conversation circled back to Ali, who by

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Speaker 1: then was living her best life and partying more, which

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Speaker 1: none of us wanted anymore. Dakota kept trying to win

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Speaker 1: her back. When we reminded him of the age difference

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Speaker 1: in timing, he either got angry or ignored us. Taking

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Speaker 1: a pause here, Dakota, Yes, Dakota in the story, he

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Speaker 1: clearly needs to talk to someone. He's I think he's

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Speaker 1: trying to do a cry for help without saying a

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Speaker 1: cry for help, you know, without saying the fact that

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Speaker 1: he's having a tough time. He wants to get out

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Speaker 1: of his grandfather's place. Like, yeah, sure, that's his only support.

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Speaker 1: I would say, his only constant support other than you

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Speaker 1: and Patrick op.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, if that's where you've been like forever.

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Speaker 3: It's like there comes a time where it's like when

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Speaker 3: a lot of stuff starts happening, it's like you just

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Speaker 3: need any.

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Speaker 4: Change, any change the scenery, change an environment.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, especially especially if you see your closest friends who

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Speaker 1: left came back and they're being successful and it seems

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Speaker 1: like you're kind of dragging behind. This is something that

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Speaker 1: you know, he needs to talk more so about with

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Speaker 1: a with a you know, a therapist or a professional,

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Speaker 1: rather than you know, crashing on your couch. This became

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Speaker 1: what I call the Dakota code. Dakota obsessing over the

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Speaker 1: smallest gestures like Ali waving goodbye as signs she wanted

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Speaker 1: him back. At the same time, he jumped on dating apps,

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Speaker 1: falling in love almost instantly, scaring women off by getting

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Speaker 1: too serious too quickly or ending up with toxic partners.

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Speaker 1: Breakups followed within weeks, always repeating the same pattern. Despite

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Speaker 1: our advice, Dakota always did the opposite, caught in a

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Speaker 1: cycle of denial in impulsive choices. Around this time, Dakota's

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Speaker 1: grandfather passed away.

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Speaker 4: No, I don't know, this is bad all round, bad, YEA.

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Speaker 1: His uncle let him continue living in the house for

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Speaker 1: now still ran free, while the uncle himself lived in

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Speaker 1: the house across the street. Think old school country town

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Speaker 1: haller where the entire street was once owned by one

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Speaker 1: family but is slowly but surely breaking off to developers.

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Speaker 1: At this time, Patrick and I suggested he start financially

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Speaker 1: preparing forgetting his own place. During this time, I had

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Speaker 1: actually begun dating my now wife, Maggie, currently thirty five mail.

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Speaker 1: We met on dating apps but really hit it off.

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Speaker 1: We had a lot in common, loved making art, painting, drawing,

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Speaker 1: Both were dog owners and cat owners, et cetera. We

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Speaker 1: found peace in the blend that some may find chaotic.

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Speaker 1: We had been dating about nine months when Dakota asked

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Speaker 1: if he could move into the spare room at Patrick

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Speaker 1: and I's house. Okay, knowing how difficult it was just

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Speaker 1: to keep Dakota from crashing on my couch every night

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Speaker 1: so I could actually have my girlfriend over with privacy,

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Speaker 1: I told him no. And guess it's one of those

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Speaker 1: things where you are allowed to say no in those

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Speaker 1: situations where he wants to move in. But do you

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Speaker 1: have something to say?

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Speaker 3: You cannot want your friend to live in your place

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Speaker 3: when you're about to move in with your partner.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I told him no and that there was no

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Speaker 1: point to move in when in six months I was

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Speaker 1: planning on moving Maggie in for the next stage of

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Speaker 1: our relationship, and that both Dakota and Patrick should be

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Speaker 1: saving as much as possible for that moment, as Patrick

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Speaker 1: would need to move out as well.

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Speaker 3: Oh wait a minute, ooh, I mean okay.

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Speaker 1: During the last six months of Patrick and I being roommates,

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Speaker 1: Dakota really went off the rails. His boss demoted him,

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Speaker 1: then moved him around his different restaurants as Dakota kept

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Speaker 1: causing issues, seemingly the stress of working with his ex fiance,

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00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,680
Speaker 1: sparking anger issues he would take out on his subordinates.

378
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,600
Speaker 1: His boss, however, through Dakota every bone possible, never docking

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Speaker 1: his pay rate when demoted, paying for weekly therapy for Dakota,

380
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Speaker 1: constantly giving him second and third chances at new restaurants

381
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Speaker 1: he also owned. But finally Dakota had burnt all his

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Speaker 1: chances and his boss fired him. Meanwhile, Dakota was still

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Speaker 1: falling in love on the first date regularly while simultaneously

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Speaker 1: pestering Ali to take him back.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it might be just like time. To really make

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Speaker 3: you like a radical change.

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Speaker 1: Something needs to drastically change for the better, not for

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Speaker 1: the worse. There's it's already worse. It's already in the

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Speaker 1: bad place. Dakota's firing occurred about one month after him

390
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Speaker 1: and Patrick moved in together elsewhere, while Maggie moved into

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Speaker 1: my home with me. We had four dogs and two

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Speaker 1: cats between the two of us. While we were punting

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Speaker 1: off our life together. Patrick was paying Dakota's rent at

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Speaker 1: their new place, and I felt horrible that my milestone

395
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Speaker 1: was Patrick's burden, even though Patrick would never blame me

396
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:03,120
Speaker 1: and understood. To this day, it baffles Patrick and I

397
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Speaker 1: that Dakota never saved a dime during his lifetime of

398
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Speaker 1: not paying rent at his grandfather's, hence why Patrick had

399
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Speaker 1: to cover his rent for about two months. Around this time,

400
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,640
Speaker 1: Patrick also started seriously dating a woman in her early

401
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,080
Speaker 1: thirties whom he had met at work, but from a

402
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:22,480
Speaker 1: different department. Dakota began jumping from restaurant to restaurant for work,

403
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:25,479
Speaker 1: getting manager positions, none of which paid as much as

404
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:28,200
Speaker 1: old as his old boss, just to date a coworker

405
00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:30,960
Speaker 1: or yell at a subordinate and get fired and start

406
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:31,680
Speaker 1: all over again.

407
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:33,840
Speaker 4: Stop dating your coworkers.

408
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:36,800
Speaker 1: Stop it. It's the you don't crap where you eat

409
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,679
Speaker 1: kind of thing, you know.

410
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,119
Speaker 3: You know, I feel like it's almost inevitable working in

411
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,640
Speaker 3: a restaurant, but quit it, especially as a manager.

412
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Speaker 1: So one on for about a year, all while simultaneously

413
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:50,480
Speaker 1: saying he wasn't trying to date and instead focus on himself,

414
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,520
Speaker 1: but then dating and falling in love with every woman

415
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:57,280
Speaker 1: on the first date, and continuing that weird cycle mentioned earlier.

416
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Speaker 1: After living together with my girlfriend for a year, we

417
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,160
Speaker 1: got engaged at the location of our second date where

418
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:07,360
Speaker 1: our dogs first met each other. That's cute. And about

419
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,080
Speaker 1: a year and a half later we got married. So

420
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,159
Speaker 1: one point five years dating, then proposed, then another one

421
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,440
Speaker 1: point five years engaged, then married, now now a bit

422
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,720
Speaker 1: over a year married, so about a course of three

423
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:23,160
Speaker 1: years esque. It isn't super important, but for reference, Dakota

424
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,639
Speaker 1: was dating another nineteen year old who attended our wedding

425
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 1: while still living at home and telling her parents that

426
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:33,680
Speaker 1: Dakota was just her. Oh, and Dakota was just her

427
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:37,280
Speaker 1: attracted the same gender, best friend and not a boyfriend. Well,

428
00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:41,320
Speaker 1: Dakota was in love, so I hope that gives you

429
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:44,040
Speaker 1: a pulse on the immaturity he creates in his life.

430
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,640
Speaker 1: Being a twenty nine or thirty year old at this point,

431
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 1: Maggie and I honeymoon for two weeks in Japan. It

432
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 1: was a dream come true, and upon return, she switched

433
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,520
Speaker 1: from teaching English as a second language to her dream

434
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,200
Speaker 1: job as an art teacher, and I got a promotion

435
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:02,240
Speaker 1: as well to an association director to an upscale lakeside community.

436
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,720
Speaker 1: Our combined incomes being well over one hundred k. Now,

437
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:09,119
Speaker 1: Maggie had previously been living in her mom's family house,

438
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:12,640
Speaker 1: which then sold, and she was gifted thirty thousand from

439
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:15,680
Speaker 1: the sale, which, on top of our combined rent only

440
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:19,040
Speaker 1: being nine hundred dollars with my dad, really set us

441
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,719
Speaker 1: up for success. Again, it really depends on who you know.

442
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,600
Speaker 1: Around this time, Patrick moved out of his home with

443
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,560
Speaker 1: Dakota to move in with his girlfriend, who had inherited

444
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,159
Speaker 1: her grandfather's already paid off house, so he was on

445
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:36,199
Speaker 1: track for a very similar financially promising setup. Dakota, on

446
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 1: the other hand, was left alone in the home yet

447
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:42,120
Speaker 1: shared with Patrick. Dakota's girlfriend dumped him a few days

448
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,120
Speaker 1: later after our wedding, which I'll add she was late

449
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,840
Speaker 1: for and missed being in the photos over her not

450
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:51,400
Speaker 1: being ready or quick to getting ready. No surprise there,

451
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,320
Speaker 1: and he got fired from work yet again.

452
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:55,520
Speaker 4: What is he doing?

453
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,080
Speaker 1: He's screaming at his subordinates.

454
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,920
Speaker 4: This is so at this point, your friend, what are

455
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,280
Speaker 4: you doing? My guy?

456
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 1: It's the cold water. Yeah, this guy needs more than

457
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,920
Speaker 1: a cold water. This guy needs a cold shower, cold back.

458
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:08,639
Speaker 4: Yeah, dude.

459
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 1: I couldn't help but feel guilty that both Patrick and

460
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:14,639
Speaker 1: myself were seeing our dreams become reality while Dakota was

461
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:19,359
Speaker 1: alone with virtually no family, no girlfriend, and no job

462
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,199
Speaker 1: to pay rent. At this point, Dakota would ask for

463
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:26,280
Speaker 1: money or financial assistance almost weekly. Could be I need

464
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:29,600
Speaker 1: fifty bucks to reactivate my phone or I need two

465
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,360
Speaker 1: hundred to make rent, and Patrick and I would take

466
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,639
Speaker 1: turns assisting until he got back on his feet. It

467
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,640
Speaker 1: is important to note that substances aren't part of the story,

468
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 1: and Dakota's inability to save money is more so a

469
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:45,199
Speaker 1: reflection in his regular use to Pokemon and You Yoh cards,

470
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:48,399
Speaker 1: which he plays competitively and has sold cards in the

471
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:49,920
Speaker 1: past for thousands of dollars.

472
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 3: If you need to make rent sell your Pokemon cards.

473
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 1: I mean he has sell the more. What are we

474
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:58,320
Speaker 1: talking about again? He paid the down payment for his

475
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,400
Speaker 1: car by selling just a few cards. Patrick always told

476
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:04,119
Speaker 1: Dakota he needed to pay him back, but I personally

477
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,680
Speaker 1: don't believe in loaning money to friends unless you don't

478
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 1: need it back a gift if you will, and told

479
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 1: Dakota he did not need to pay me back and

480
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,520
Speaker 1: to focus on getting his life together instead, that that

481
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,800
Speaker 1: is enough for me. It is worth noting at this time,

482
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 1: his uncle was selling off all the land his grandfather

483
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 1: his grandfather had previously owned, and Dakota would be inheriting

484
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,880
Speaker 1: a lot of money one day once that happened. If

485
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,919
Speaker 1: I saw my friend doing this, if I saw my

486
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,720
Speaker 1: Dakota doing this, I would say, hey, I'm gonna help you.

487
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:37,160
Speaker 1: I'm gonna help you set up a savings account that

488
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 1: you will not touch this money. I will know the

489
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 1: code and I will We're gonna help you get you know,

490
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,240
Speaker 1: get you back on your feet, because it's it seems

491
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 1: at this point all you do is keep supporting like

492
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 1: here's a fifty, here's two hundred, do what you will

493
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,679
Speaker 1: that money. It's one of those things like I'm gonna

494
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,440
Speaker 1: I have to keep my eye on you, or it's

495
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:54,680
Speaker 1: like you're taking care of a kid.

496
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,720
Speaker 3: Now, and if he's just using it to like buy

497
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,879
Speaker 3: Pokemon cards, what are we doing?

498
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 4: Yeah?

499
00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, you could approach him with that and be like,

500
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,159
Speaker 3: this is something I think could help you.

501
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:06,240
Speaker 2: Are you down?

502
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 3: And if he's like no, then it's like, well, I

503
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 3: don't know how much I can just and then continue

504
00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 3: to support you while you just make negative choices for yourself.

505
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,919
Speaker 1: During this period, he always said he would give me

506
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,639
Speaker 1: and Patrick either ten thousand dollars each or take us

507
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 1: out for tattoos on him or some kind of grand

508
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:27,480
Speaker 1: gesture of his gratitude. Once the inheritance went through, I

509
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:30,679
Speaker 1: would literally say, don't do that, save it.

510
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 3: Yeah.

511
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:35,720
Speaker 1: The first land parcel sold and Dakota inherited one hundred

512
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 1: thousand dollars from that. Hundred K is no joke, but

513
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:41,800
Speaker 1: it was supposed to be one hundred and sixty k

514
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 1: originally according to Dakota, which is an example of how

515
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 1: often his information or stories change. I'm sure it will

516
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 1: surprise nobody, but no gesture of appreciation for myself or

517
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:55,680
Speaker 1: Patrick ever occurred. Pat was paid back I wasn't since

518
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 1: I asked him not to do it, but I'd be

519
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,119
Speaker 1: lying if I didn't want that tattoo or gesture he

520
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,959
Speaker 1: had promised us. Regardless, I was disappointed, but not shocked

521
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 1: in the least. Dakota immediately spent forty K on a

522
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:12,120
Speaker 1: new Mustang convertible eight cylinders, horrible gas.

523
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 3: By the only kind of Mustang you should buy eight

524
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,200
Speaker 3: cylinders minimum.

525
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:19,720
Speaker 4: It's not a Mustang, it's a pony.

526
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 1: If you have the money and the financial access to that,

527
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,679
Speaker 1: then do it. But don't do it if you're not

528
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:26,040
Speaker 1: in you.

529
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:29,240
Speaker 3: If you're in, don't immediately blow half of the money

530
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:32,359
Speaker 3: you're getting from this land sale on a car you

531
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:33,359
Speaker 3: don't really need.

532
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 1: And after being evicted by his landlords prior to the inheritance.

533
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 1: Prior to the inheritance, he had been living on his

534
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:44,840
Speaker 1: uncle's couch. He had also totaled his previous car, which

535
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 1: he still owed about twenty k on due to the

536
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: absurd twenty percent interest rate on his car loan eow.

537
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:53,720
Speaker 4: Eoo witch.

538
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:58,160
Speaker 1: To this day, he is never paid back, destroying his credit.

539
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 1: I tried convincing Dakota to pay it off, pay off

540
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:06,119
Speaker 1: that old car, but he refused, not caring about his

541
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 1: credit because he would be buying a home outright. I

542
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,160
Speaker 1: tried explaining that he only got one hundred K instead

543
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 1: of one hundred and sixty K, so if his total

544
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 1: inheritance is only predicted to be four hundred four hundred

545
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 1: thousand K, it is probably going to be lower, and

546
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 1: at the very least sixty K lower than we already

547
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:29,080
Speaker 1: know totally three hundred and forty K. Then knock down

548
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,359
Speaker 1: to three hundred K because he thought he bought the

549
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 1: Mustang not to mention any more spending.

550
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:35,200
Speaker 4: He blows through and then once.

551
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 3: You buy a house, it's not like, oh, I never

552
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 3: have to spend any more money ever again for the

553
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:40,840
Speaker 3: rest of my life. It's like, you're gonna have to

554
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 3: pay property taxes, You're gonna have to do maintenance, You're

555
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 3: gonna have to do all kinds of stuff.

556
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,800
Speaker 1: I tried telling him three hundred K isn't enough in

557
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 1: the modern day to have many house options, and even

558
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:54,440
Speaker 1: then it'll take all three hundred K. Most likely working

559
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:56,880
Speaker 1: in property management, I see the numbers house it self

560
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 1: or daily, but he refused to believe me, even though

561
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 1: I'm in the industry. Since then, Dakota has gotten a

562
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:06,959
Speaker 1: job at a new restaurant and is dating another coworker.

563
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:11,840
Speaker 1: Surprise surprise, but at least this time she's age appropriate

564
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:15,160
Speaker 1: Alissa twenty nine female. I can tell by his social

565
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 1: media posts though he spends a lot of money on

566
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:20,720
Speaker 1: their dates. I called it recently taking a week long

567
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 1: vacation at a four hundred per night hotel on the beach,

568
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,879
Speaker 1: all paid for by him. I haven't asked, but my

569
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,919
Speaker 1: gut says he probably has twenty k or less left

570
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 1: of at one hundred k he inherited. At this time,

571
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 1: there are no sales on the remaining three land parcels

572
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,960
Speaker 1: for his remaining inheritance to come through. Dakota and Alyssa

573
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 1: have only been dating for two months, and he takes

574
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:44,440
Speaker 1: to Patrick and I a photo of a ring, saying

575
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 1: he is going to propose. Patrick is sick of giving

576
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,600
Speaker 1: advice that he never follows, so he simply responded with

577
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 1: fake supportiveness. I, on the other hand, while still being supportive,

578
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 1: told him he should slow down and take things cautiously

579
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 1: as they've only been dating for two months. This actually

580
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,160
Speaker 1: happened three days prior to the two month mark. Dakota

581
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:07,359
Speaker 1: then backpedaled and said if he bought the ring today,

582
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 1: he wouldn't have had it in hand for another two months,

583
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 1: then would probably wait another six months, which still seemed quick,

584
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:14,320
Speaker 1: but I was.

585
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:15,120
Speaker 2: Relieved to hear that.

586
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,919
Speaker 1: Two weeks later, Patrick went on vacation, with the attempt

587
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 1: being to propose to his now girlfriend of two years.

588
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 1: I wasn't thinking and forgot he had told me this

589
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:26,439
Speaker 1: in private, in a private chat rather than the group chat,

590
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 1: So the day he was going to propose, I texted

591
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 1: him to confirm he was proceeding with the plan, which

592
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:34,480
Speaker 1: he was, but Dakota could see this since it was

593
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,680
Speaker 1: in the group chat. Patrick texted it in the group

594
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:38,920
Speaker 1: chat at eleven thirty that night to say he was

595
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 1: officially engaged. Congrats, but not to say anything, as he

596
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 1: wanted his now fiance to have her chance to announce it,

597
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 1: make a post et cetera, which made sense and I agreed.

598
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:53,280
Speaker 1: Dakota congratulated him and said he would hopefully be right

599
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,959
Speaker 1: behind him, which I didn't think much of since his

600
00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 1: ring had a two month wait. The next day, at

601
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 1: approximately six thirty pm, Dakota texted us in the group chat,

602
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:07,440
Speaker 1: letting us know he too was now engaged. My blood

603
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:10,960
Speaker 1: as well as Patrick's, began to boil. Patrick had just

604
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 1: asked us not to say anything to steal his fiance's thunder,

605
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:17,960
Speaker 1: and Dakota, under some primal instinct to compete with us,

606
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 1: felt so compelled that he proposed the day immediately after.

607
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 1: Patrick did, after clearly lying about a two month wait

608
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 1: on the ring and a six month wait after that

609
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 1: before proposer.

610
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 3: I don't know, he could be a guy who'd proposed

611
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:31,440
Speaker 3: and be like the rings on the way.

612
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:35,120
Speaker 4: Here's a ra I got you a ring? Pop Rings

613
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 4: on the way, babe, I promise.

614
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:40,600
Speaker 1: He LUs confirm the ring costs nearly five times what

615
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 1: he had paid for Alley's rings Alley's ring years ago. Again,

616
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 1: that was his former ex boss, okay, which I know

617
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 1: to be right. Around four thousand dollars ros okay, So

618
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 1: if my guess is right, twenty thousand dollars remaining from

619
00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 1: his inheritance is even close to accurate. But then he

620
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 1: is officially broke again to get engaged to a girl

621
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 1: he's been dating for two months. I don't think I

622
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:08,760
Speaker 1: explained this well either, But after getting evicted from failing

623
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 1: to pay rent, he's been living on his uncle's couch

624
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 1: this whole time, and when he tries to rent a

625
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:15,760
Speaker 1: new place, either his crappy credit from not paying off

626
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 1: that wrecked car or his lack of two to three

627
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 1: times rent as income has prevented him from moving off

628
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:24,840
Speaker 1: the couch into his own place. His now fiance lives

629
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 1: with her parents and has never had a place of

630
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 1: her own. So I find myself in a strange situation

631
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 1: where I simply don't know what to do anymore. Any

632
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 1: advice I give is ignored. And now he's engaged to

633
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 1: a girl he had hardly He hardly knows out of

634
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:42,320
Speaker 1: some biological clock issue that usually more so affects woman,

635
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 1: as well as a desire to stay on pace in

636
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 1: life with myself and Patrick. But frequently his lack of

637
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 1: advice following and his actions negatively impact or affect myself

638
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,480
Speaker 1: and Patrick. He has blown the majority of his first

639
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:56,160
Speaker 1: wave of inheritance, which he previously said he wasn't going

640
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 1: to spend any of it to save for a house,

641
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 1: and he can't get approved to move into his own

642
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:03,920
Speaker 1: place and lives on his uncle's couch. Patrick is very,

643
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:07,400
Speaker 1: very hurt that Dakota would get engaged. The literal day

644
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 1: after him approximately seventeen hours later, and I see our

645
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 1: friendship trio crumbling. Patrick and I have always been good

646
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 1: about keeping the friendship alive, even with the space and

647
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 1: time of not talking. But Dakota, Dakota has a knack

648
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 1: of blowing off everyone for his significant others, even when

649
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 1: they barely know each other. And I think these latest

650
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 1: actions will be hard to recover from. In me and

651
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 1: Patrick's eyes, there's a little bit left. But Dakota, what

652
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 1: do you do about yourself?

653
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 4: It's time to quiet quit this friendship.

654
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:40,960
Speaker 3: My guy, I don't know, let him cut himself off

655
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 3: from y'all while he's dating his new you know, fiance,

656
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:48,360
Speaker 3: I guess since they're engaged now, and it's like, there's

657
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:50,320
Speaker 3: nothing you could do. You've done everything you could possibly

658
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:52,600
Speaker 3: do for this guy, short of becoming his actual parent.

659
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 1: It's the it's the saying you again. I say it

660
00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 1: a lot, but it's you can lead a horse to water.

661
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 1: He's not drinking the water, he's dying thirst. You can't

662
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 1: do anymore, you really can't. It's not your responsibility. Ye yes,

663
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,760
Speaker 1: you are his friend, but he has to take accountability

664
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 1: and he has to grow up. But let's go ahead

665
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,080
Speaker 1: and finish up the story. Hope, he says. How do

666
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 1: you convince someone who refuses to listen that they are

667
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 1: making horrible decisions, being a bad friend, and single handedly

668
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:26,040
Speaker 1: blowing yet another bailout that has been given to him

669
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 1: the inheritance this time, but previously blowing it with the

670
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 1: boss that never docked his pay when demoted, paid for therapy,

671
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 1: and even gave him a five K check when he

672
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 1: was ultimately fired. He's been given so many chances. I

673
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 1: was so optimistic that this inheritance could be used to

674
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 1: finally make a life for him, but sure enough, the

675
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 1: short term gratification and rush to catch up to his

676
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 1: buddies had led him astray. I am also scared he

677
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 1: will regret the marriage, because again, it's only been two

678
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 1: months since they started dating. Not sure if there's any

679
00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 1: advice out there, but I hope someone at least gets

680
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:03,920
Speaker 1: attained by this madness. Thanks, and that is the end

681
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 1: of that story. Yeah, I mean, we already said our piece.

682
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:09,880
Speaker 1: It's one of those things where he's gonna learn the

683
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,959
Speaker 1: really hard way and you don't want him to do that,

684
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:18,120
Speaker 1: but this is no longer your burden to bear. Yeah,

685
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 1: you have your own life. Patrick has his own life,

686
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:23,960
Speaker 1: and he's got to have his own wife. Now it's

687
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 1: one of those things where you, yeah, you can't do

688
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:28,520
Speaker 1: much more than what you've done.

689
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Sam.

690
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 6: We're gonna get back to these stories.

691
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 3: But here's three of it's bads from our sponsors that

692
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 3: keep the show alive.

693
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 6: I think my mother is copying me, and I wanted

694
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:38,040
Speaker 6: to back off.

695
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 5: I've heard of Mama's boys, but like this is this

696
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 5: is giving me the creep.

697
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,760
Speaker 6: This is also comes from one of our own on

698
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:49,520
Speaker 6: the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. So it's our family member.

699
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 6: I thirty five female, and my mom fifty five female,

700
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 6: have always had a weird relationship. She's married to my biofather,

701
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 6: who was not a good man. They divorced when I

702
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 6: was seven, and I did I didn't live full time

703
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 6: with her until I was around fifteen, almost sixteen. At eighteen,

704
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 6: she remarried to a different type of red Flag and

705
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 6: it got so bad that I went no contact with

706
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:14,239
Speaker 6: her for almost three years because of him. She was

707
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 6: not at my wedding because of this. We did not

708
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:19,520
Speaker 6: get back in contact when my grandfather passed away and

709
00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:22,880
Speaker 6: it slowly built back up, but when the second husband

710
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 6: left her, she permanently moved herself into my life. By

711
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 6: the way, this comes from Independent n fifty three, and

712
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 6: if you want some of your own stories or the

713
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 6: art side show, okay stories, I'm subber to because this

714
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 6: is where this one's from. So everything has to be her,

715
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:41,359
Speaker 6: myself and my husband, and I mean everything. If we

716
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 6: weren't allowed to go to dinner without checking in with

717
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:45,920
Speaker 6: her and seeing if she wants to go unless we

718
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:48,960
Speaker 6: want to hear a lecture about how she was free

719
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,920
Speaker 6: and all we had to do was call. I planned

720
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:54,160
Speaker 6: a weekend away from myself. I was going to a

721
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:56,799
Speaker 6: lie and just needed to cry and sleep and just

722
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 6: be alone. I let her know I would not be

723
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 6: available for a weekend a month away, that I was

724
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 6: being overwhelmed with all my responsibilities, and that if I

725
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 6: didn't want to snap and bite everyone's head off, I

726
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 6: needed some alone time. But she immediately started to plan

727
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,800
Speaker 6: a girl's trip. I was gonna stay at a local

728
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:17,880
Speaker 6: hotel near two restaurants that I love and can walk to. Nope,

729
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,160
Speaker 6: now I was doing a week and away. Thankfully, my

730
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:22,720
Speaker 6: husband took it upon himself to book me the hotel

731
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,600
Speaker 6: for the weekend before my original plan and told me

732
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:27,880
Speaker 6: to tell her I had to work because he had

733
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:30,200
Speaker 6: a plan. He then checked in with me and got

734
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 6: me set up. Then he ran over to the restaurant

735
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 6: and picked it up, and then he went home. Then

736
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:38,600
Speaker 6: the next weekend, I was refreshed and handled the forced

737
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:41,360
Speaker 6: girls trip, which she acted like I needed the whole

738
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 6: time because my husband and my job, that she was

739
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 6: the angel there to save me.

740
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:50,840
Speaker 5: Oh okay, Oh, this is giving me like co dependent

741
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 5: and just as the mom is doesn't want to be

742
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:54,640
Speaker 5: alone anymore vibes.

743
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 2: Oh, doesn't know how to exist outside of.

744
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:02,319
Speaker 5: A relationship with another person. Yeah, maybe why she was

745
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 5: into red flag relations.

746
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:05,920
Speaker 6: From this, she kind of looks like the savior or

747
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:09,040
Speaker 6: saving them, and that's probably how she stumbled upon those

748
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:10,400
Speaker 6: red flag relationships.

749
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:14,520
Speaker 2: She's seeing Opie as a project, not as a person.

750
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:17,720
Speaker 6: We think she is trying to become me. She started

751
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:20,960
Speaker 6: getting my hairstyle cut that I've had for decades, so

752
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:22,840
Speaker 6: I stopped and have it cut my hair in about

753
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:26,080
Speaker 6: four years because that was my haircut and don't know

754
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 6: what else to get. I went through a few doctors

755
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:33,399
Speaker 6: and found out that I have nero spiciness. Her response was, well, yeah,

756
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 6: you got that from me, But she has never been

757
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:39,080
Speaker 6: to therapy or anything, and now when something isn't going

758
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:42,839
Speaker 6: quite right, she will bust out my diagnosis and blame that.

759
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 6: But I can't have at least a bit of a

760
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:48,279
Speaker 6: down moment. Then she started buying the same clothes as

761
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 6: me when we went shopping together, which I joked, as

762
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:53,680
Speaker 6: long as we don't wear them at the same time,

763
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 6: which she has tried to do a couple of times.

764
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:58,919
Speaker 6: I don't put a hoodie on or have a tank

765
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:01,479
Speaker 6: top in the car and complained that I was hot

766
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 6: or cold depending on the outfit change. When we go

767
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 6: out to dinner or a small trip or basically anything,

768
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:10,719
Speaker 6: every decision comes down to me. I can't even pick

769
00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 6: out a meal I want because then she will want

770
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 6: it too, so then I have to pick a second

771
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 6: one because we can't get the same thing or that

772
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 6: would be wasteful.

773
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,279
Speaker 5: This is really creepy, Like this is a.

774
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 2: Horror movie plot developing. Yeah, this is not okay.

775
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 6: She's becoming the daughter or is she saving herself from

776
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 6: this decision to fatigue or it's that all opposition fatigue?

777
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:38,319
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's just easier to go along with what her

778
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:38,919
Speaker 5: daughter wants.

779
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:39,399
Speaker 6: One.

780
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 5: Maybe she's trying to develop like a closer bond with

781
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:43,800
Speaker 5: her daughter, especially after her daughter.

782
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:45,759
Speaker 2: Went like no contact a little bit like three or

783
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 2: four years ago. She could be.

784
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:48,960
Speaker 5: Trying that could be the only way she knows how

785
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,799
Speaker 5: to do it, and probably doesn't realize that she's alienating

786
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 5: the daughter too. Yeah, she could be trying to like

787
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:56,760
Speaker 5: and this is going the horror movie route.

788
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:57,359
Speaker 2: Now replace her.

789
00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:59,799
Speaker 6: I was thinking that, Oh god, what if mom like

790
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,359
Speaker 6: as a crush on husband.

791
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 2: A little swapper roo there?

792
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:09,920
Speaker 6: Maybe or maybe interesting, some moms could do that. There

793
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:11,719
Speaker 6: are some moms out there that could probably swap with

794
00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:14,440
Speaker 6: their daughters. No one would know what think. Yeah, when

795
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 6: we do small vacations, I find all the lodging restaurants

796
00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:19,919
Speaker 6: and activities, and unless I make it a big deal

797
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,200
Speaker 6: about how much I want to do something, she will

798
00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 6: try to make sure it doesn't happen. Example, if I

799
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 6: want to go to this restaurant, I have to say

800
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,840
Speaker 6: I really want to go and I can't wait to

801
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 6: try it, and all of a sudden she's really excited

802
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 6: to do it too. Yes, I know this is manipulation.

803
00:38:35,719 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 6: To make sure I get what I want, but otherwise

804
00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 6: she'll cancel the thing I was actually looking forward to do.

805
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 6: It has happened more than a dozen of times. I mean,

806
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 6: I have to act like it's life or that I

807
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:49,719
Speaker 6: get to do Slash eat the thing. If I just say, oh,

808
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:51,919
Speaker 6: this place is cool and I want to check it out,

809
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:54,759
Speaker 6: she will agree, But then the comments of do we

810
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 6: have time or money for that, and it just doesn't happen.

811
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:02,560
Speaker 6: During the vid I learn how to quilts and find

812
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:05,239
Speaker 6: real joy in it, she started acting like it was

813
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:08,360
Speaker 6: a wee task and acted like we were going to

814
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:12,239
Speaker 6: learn together, but she didn't really help Slash learn. When

815
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 6: I started completing quilts and was getting compliments for it,

816
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 6: she all of a sudden had to urge I have

817
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:22,320
Speaker 6: been using my extra frabric to make quotes for women's shelters,

818
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:25,600
Speaker 6: And of course she is now making quilts for women

819
00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:28,360
Speaker 6: shelters too, and she loves to bring it up and

820
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 6: act like it was her idea and that she's like

821
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:33,799
Speaker 6: the best person in the whole world for doing this.

822
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:36,320
Speaker 6: You know, I'll take that one. If all this stuff

823
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 6: is happening, you're giving a little bit of good back

824
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 6: to the world.

825
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:42,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean she's making the quilt, so yeah, a

826
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,359
Speaker 5: little bit of goodback. But it's like I'm getting a

827
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:48,880
Speaker 5: little bit of life from this, not quite fully to

828
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:51,120
Speaker 5: this extent, but my wait, this happened to you. No,

829
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 5: but my mom is like has some of these behaviors.

830
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,480
Speaker 5: Not nearly to this extent. No, but it's like there

831
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:58,279
Speaker 5: was one time me and my brother were watching I

832
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:00,960
Speaker 5: think it was Breaking that we started watching Breaking, and

833
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,440
Speaker 5: then one time me and him like watched an episode

834
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 5: or two without her, and she's like, you watched our

835
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:08,399
Speaker 5: show without me, And it's like, whoa, you were never

836
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 5: part of this. He like hopped in like halfway through

837
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 5: season one? What do you mean our show?

838
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 6: Well, season one's pretty No, but I can see where

839
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 6: she's going from.

840
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:20,920
Speaker 5: But still it's like this was on me and my

841
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:23,439
Speaker 5: brother thing where she would happen to be like washing

842
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:25,840
Speaker 5: the dishes at the time or doing something at the table.

843
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 5: She wasn't really actively involved, and then she kind of

844
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:30,200
Speaker 5: made it her thing.

845
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,959
Speaker 6: And that's why Matt went no contact with his mom

846
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:38,040
Speaker 6: for seven years. No, but never gives me the credit

847
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,680
Speaker 6: for being the one who started it or figuring out

848
00:40:40,719 --> 00:40:44,799
Speaker 6: which women's shelter in a big city near us needed blankets. Yes,

849
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:48,160
Speaker 6: she has made some, but I do not believe she

850
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:51,720
Speaker 6: has actually donated any. And my husband made a comment

851
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:55,719
Speaker 6: that he has noticed her copying my body language, like

852
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:58,160
Speaker 6: I have a nervous tick, but I twirl my hair

853
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 6: now she twirls hers. I art to do this weird

854
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:04,120
Speaker 6: finger trick for self soothing. It's the best way I

855
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:07,360
Speaker 6: can explain it that she had not seen yet, and

856
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 6: we know for sure she didn't do it. I saw

857
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:12,480
Speaker 6: it during a group therapy and talked with the person

858
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:16,480
Speaker 6: and I adopted it with a little variation. So we

859
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 6: watched her and she did it after a minute ar

860
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:21,959
Speaker 6: or two of me doing it. I didn't even notice

861
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 6: set up first, but it became clear she was copying

862
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:29,480
Speaker 6: me and didn't even know the mantra that pairs with

863
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 6: the finger trick, so it's confirmed she was copying me.

864
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 6: I do not know if this was on purpose or not.

865
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:39,400
Speaker 6: I hope not. This is the tipping point of the

866
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:42,120
Speaker 6: whole story. A few weeks ago, we had a small

867
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,880
Speaker 6: party with some friends we had not seen in a while.

868
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,160
Speaker 6: It was at my house. I cleaned my house and

869
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:50,280
Speaker 6: yard for weeks, not dirty, just clutter. Got up first

870
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 6: thing in the morning to do all the prep and cooking.

871
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:55,520
Speaker 6: She showed up about two hours before the party to help,

872
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 6: but I told her I had it all under control,

873
00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:00,720
Speaker 6: so we just sat there and hung out whenever. When arrived,

874
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:03,840
Speaker 6: she had to dominate the conversation. I was trying to

875
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:06,359
Speaker 6: have a side conversation with a friend, and she cut

876
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:08,840
Speaker 6: me off to have me confirm something in her story

877
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 6: that I did not need to confirm. I've been in

878
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 6: these scenarios so many times and I disliked them so much.

879
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:17,279
Speaker 6: Just let me have my own side conversation. I created this.

880
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:17,960
Speaker 6: Let me have it.

881
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:18,800
Speaker 2: Mom needs friends.

882
00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:22,440
Speaker 5: Mom needs a friend, social life, a hobby, anything.

883
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:26,279
Speaker 6: Bridge club, I don't care, cards, something, heck, getting a

884
00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:31,480
Speaker 6: gambling mom. She might like that. It happened twice more

885
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:34,880
Speaker 6: before I gave up having an adult conversation and just

886
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:37,520
Speaker 6: sat there playing on my phone until someone needed something.

887
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:39,759
Speaker 6: I had to step away and hid in my room

888
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:43,239
Speaker 6: at my party because the conversation was one I've had

889
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:46,279
Speaker 6: with her nineteen times and really couldn't handle one more.

890
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 6: So again, my lovely husband saved me. He made it

891
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:52,239
Speaker 6: a drinking game. Every time she cut me off. We

892
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:55,160
Speaker 6: had to take a drink of adult soda slash wine.

893
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 6: Every time she brought it back to the conversation I

894
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:00,640
Speaker 6: was having, we would discreetly go into the kitchen and

895
00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:03,799
Speaker 6: have a shot. After third turnaround to the same conversation,

896
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:06,239
Speaker 6: I told him how to stop, but it did make

897
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 6: it way more fun. Loo She was talking about her

898
00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 6: new dating app boyfriend that screams red flax. I mean,

899
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:16,440
Speaker 6: this guy doesn't have an official job, does some online

900
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:20,200
Speaker 6: crap that my mom has helped fund, and it wasn't cheap.

901
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 6: It wasn't until one of the friends brought it up

902
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:26,120
Speaker 6: that it sounds like a financial that she stopped bringing

903
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,440
Speaker 6: them up. She still has the scheduled trip for the

904
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 6: middle of September to meet him, but she is now

905
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:33,880
Speaker 6: staying in a hotel in it down next to his

906
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:36,160
Speaker 6: that has a lot of stuff for her to go do.

907
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:39,920
Speaker 6: My big problem and what I need advice on, is

908
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 6: I don't know how to make my mom see that

909
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:45,360
Speaker 6: she does not help me in the least bit. She

910
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 6: does nothing but add responsibility and stressed to me, but

911
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:51,799
Speaker 6: she acts like she takes things off my plate. I

912
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,320
Speaker 6: really need her to back off, let me have time

913
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,600
Speaker 6: to breathe. I work fifty hours a week and have

914
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:58,480
Speaker 6: a husband and a house that I take care of,

915
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 6: and I go do countless doctor trips and therapy sessions

916
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:05,800
Speaker 6: throughout the month, at least one a week every week.

917
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 6: I know she's not in love with my husband and

918
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:11,480
Speaker 6: doesn't want to replace me as me. I know she

919
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,520
Speaker 6: was lonely and that's always been an issue for her.

920
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 6: I've suggested she seek therapy, and we know she loves

921
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:20,920
Speaker 6: my husband as a son. But we both think she

922
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:23,520
Speaker 6: would be a static if something happened to him, and

923
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:26,680
Speaker 6: I to rely on her completely. With her, my triggers

924
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:30,879
Speaker 6: don't exist. My anxieties do not exist. My childhood did

925
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:33,840
Speaker 6: not happen. Even though she came from a loving home.

926
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:37,640
Speaker 6: My grandparents were separated by not divorce, and they bent

927
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 6: over backward for their kids. I was not raised in

928
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:46,360
Speaker 6: a happy home. How do you naturally bring this up tomorrow?

929
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:47,800
Speaker 2: I don't think she would listen to it.

930
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:52,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think she'd just be completely dismissive of it. Well,

931
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:54,640
Speaker 5: I mean, my conspiracy theory is out the window according

932
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:57,560
Speaker 5: to OPI, But at this point, I think you have

933
00:44:57,640 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 5: to kind of let it witherr because she's never gonna

934
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:01,359
Speaker 5: listen say the fact that he need space. She's never

935
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:04,040
Speaker 5: gonna listen to the fact that she's copying. She's never

936
00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:06,840
Speaker 5: gonna listen to the fact, Yeah, she's causing you trauma,

937
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 5: the fact that she is already kind of gaslighting Opie's

938
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:15,120
Speaker 5: childhood trauma or problems, or pretty much anything that Opie

939
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:19,239
Speaker 5: brings up. Yeah, this is a big red flag that

940
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:24,719
Speaker 5: it's beyond anything that can conversation can do. Yeah, so

941
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:27,160
Speaker 5: you have to let her go her own way with

942
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:28,880
Speaker 5: I mean, it sucks to say, like, let her go

943
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:31,719
Speaker 5: with this red flag guy, but she needs something else

944
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:34,839
Speaker 5: to devote her attention to. She's a seems essive to

945
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 5: the point of harm.

946
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, so back to the story. I'm thirty five years old,

947
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:41,720
Speaker 6: and I feel like I have to run her life.

948
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,400
Speaker 6: Except for when I think she makes a bad decision,

949
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 6: I can't say anything or I get my head chewed off.

950
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:50,960
Speaker 6: I haven't said anything too bad about the internet boyfriend

951
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:54,440
Speaker 6: because he's at least taking some of her time away

952
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 6: from me. But when she first started helping him get

953
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:01,560
Speaker 6: his started off the ground, I did make some comments

954
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 6: about the cost and how it sounds more like MLM

955
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:09,080
Speaker 6: instead of a true business. But I was quickly shut

956
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:12,120
Speaker 6: down and got to enjoy a three hour car ride

957
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:15,600
Speaker 6: home in silence because she just refused to talk about

958
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:18,279
Speaker 6: anything after that until we got to my grandmother's and

959
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:20,560
Speaker 6: everything was normal again. We got a little bit more here.

960
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:22,759
Speaker 6: Any other thoughts before we finish it.

961
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:24,360
Speaker 2: There needs to be therapy.

962
00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:29,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's some underlying issue that the mother just doesn't

963
00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:32,680
Speaker 5: want to address. There's an issue with maturity, There's an

964
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:36,080
Speaker 5: issue with boundaries. It's not going to get better without it,

965
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 5: because the fact that she's gone now to three red

966
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:41,320
Speaker 5: flag boyfriends, it's gonna keep happening.

967
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:42,920
Speaker 2: There's no end, there's no cycle.

968
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,920
Speaker 6: It is a cycle, and honestly, I don't know if

969
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:49,200
Speaker 6: she'll ever accept it. She may just, oh absolutely let

970
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,080
Speaker 6: it happen, and that's just the way she's gonna be.

971
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:53,480
Speaker 6: I do not want to cut my mother out of

972
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:56,680
Speaker 6: my life at this point. In general, we do get along.

973
00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:59,200
Speaker 6: She's fun to be around fifty percent of the time,

974
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:02,320
Speaker 6: and she doesn't do anything up front. It's all subtle

975
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:06,120
Speaker 6: and it's just building up. Every story above has five

976
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:09,040
Speaker 6: or more just like it. I'm sure she has some

977
00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 6: big diagnosis if she ever makes it to therapy. When

978
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:15,480
Speaker 6: I've suggested it to her, her answer is I'm not

979
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 6: that bad every time, and if I just cut her

980
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,480
Speaker 6: out of my life again, she will go full force

981
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:25,000
Speaker 6: with this internet boyfriend and end up being really hurt again,

982
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:28,080
Speaker 6: and that's not what I want. Any advice, really, just

983
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:30,239
Speaker 6: putting it all out here has been a little bit

984
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:32,719
Speaker 6: of help. Yes, I go to group therapy for some

985
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:36,360
Speaker 6: of my diagnosis, both mental and medical, but it's not

986
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:39,280
Speaker 6: a therapy session for myself, and I'm in the process

987
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:42,759
Speaker 6: of finding myself on one on one therapist. But until then,

988
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:46,320
Speaker 6: I will ask the Reddit and Okay, storytime love the channel,

989
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:50,239
Speaker 6: by the way, we freaking love up comment coming number one.

990
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 6: I'm gonna be a little blunt here. Your mother sounds

991
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:57,480
Speaker 6: very selfish, and I'm genuinely concerned with the behavior you're

992
00:47:57,520 --> 00:48:01,000
Speaker 6: described here. She sounds very dependent on a and I

993
00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:03,880
Speaker 6: could guess her copying behavior is either her way of

994
00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:07,680
Speaker 6: feeling younger to catch up a male's attention, or trying

995
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:09,840
Speaker 6: to take over your life with your husband. That's a

996
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:12,799
Speaker 6: big assumption on my part, but I would caution you

997
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 6: with the time you spend with her, I would worry

998
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:17,560
Speaker 6: about if your mom may end up flipping on you,

999
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:20,919
Speaker 6: sometimes from just copying you to trying to take over

1000
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:24,520
Speaker 6: either your decisions or your life, ignoring everything I said.

1001
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:26,839
Speaker 6: I think you can't stop your mom from dating who

1002
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:30,759
Speaker 6: she wants and making those mistakes. You should step back now,

1003
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:34,160
Speaker 6: make distance in small steps at the very least, and

1004
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 6: don't share sensitive information with her. Please be safe. Ope,

1005
00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 6: he says, Yes, my mother is very selfish. It's because

1006
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:44,320
Speaker 6: she cannot see from other people's point of view. Oh man,

1007
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:48,640
Speaker 6: I don't believe she does anything maliciously, but because she

1008
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:52,080
Speaker 6: thinks everyone thinks like her. Yes, she's dependent on the

1009
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:54,880
Speaker 6: man in her life. At the moment, she only sees

1010
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:57,759
Speaker 6: her value as a wife or girlfriend. No, my mom

1011
00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:00,399
Speaker 6: does not want my husband. I believe she would rather

1012
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:03,160
Speaker 6: become a noun than sleep with my husband. And I

1013
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:06,799
Speaker 6: won't say what he would rather do. But Nope, that's

1014
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 6: not a concern. Ilowo. Making her feel young again is

1015
00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:13,360
Speaker 6: a good point, But I am super sick and act

1016
00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:16,160
Speaker 6: closer to her age than mine. I don't want to

1017
00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 6: stop her from dating. When she has a boy toy thing,

1018
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:22,200
Speaker 6: it takes time away from me, so I normally enjoy it.

1019
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:25,160
Speaker 6: This guy is just some bad news and she's acting

1020
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:28,560
Speaker 6: like he is Jesus himself walking on water. So other

1021
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:30,839
Speaker 6: than the first comment I made about him, I haven't

1022
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 6: said anything other than normally wrap it before you tap

1023
00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:36,920
Speaker 6: it jokes, which I would make no matter who the

1024
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:40,399
Speaker 6: guy was. I appreciate that, OPI. I've tried to step back,

1025
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 6: but can't do much without her having a fit about.

1026
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:45,839
Speaker 6: We don't spend time with her. We do have her

1027
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:48,880
Speaker 6: down to roughly once a week, normally Sunday dinner, but

1028
00:49:48,960 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 6: sometimes she wants to go shopping slash lunch. Hey it's

1029
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:53,880
Speaker 6: John here. We're gonna get back to the stories.

1030
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:55,880
Speaker 3: Put a quick three minute ad break from her sponsors

1031
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:56,759
Speaker 3: that keep the show going.

1032
00:49:57,320 --> 00:50:01,520
Speaker 5: I asked my sister to leave, despite knowing she needs somewhere.

1033
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:02,840
Speaker 6: To stay against they. Here's Sis.

1034
00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:06,239
Speaker 5: So I thirty three male, have been married to my

1035
00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:10,000
Speaker 5: wife twenty six female maya fake name, for two years,

1036
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:12,239
Speaker 5: together for five My wife and I met when I

1037
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 5: was doing a semester in France. I was studying to

1038
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,880
Speaker 5: become a lawyer, but I wasn't happy in my home country,

1039
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 5: South Korea, and decided to try a semester in Europe,

1040
00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:24,400
Speaker 5: and I chose France. I loved it, but what truly

1041
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:26,880
Speaker 5: made me want to stay is my now wife, Maya.

1042
00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:29,719
Speaker 5: I was twenty seven back then and she was twenty one.

1043
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:32,520
Speaker 5: I met Maya at a cafe while she was working.

1044
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 5: She was working part time to fund her education, and

1045
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 5: once I landed my eyes on her, I couldn't stop

1046
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:39,000
Speaker 5: thinking about her.

1047
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:42,160
Speaker 6: Oh, I'm so sweet, it's so cute.

1048
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:45,560
Speaker 5: And by the way, this comes from Senior Good nine

1049
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:47,880
Speaker 5: sixty and if you want to submit your own stories

1050
00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:50,840
Speaker 5: to the r slash Okay storytime Reddit, go ahead and

1051
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:54,120
Speaker 5: do so. So Maya and I are very different. I

1052
00:50:54,239 --> 00:50:57,560
Speaker 5: come from a well off family, while hers is working class.

1053
00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:00,360
Speaker 5: I'm mentioning it because it's relevant to the story. My

1054
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:02,920
Speaker 5: mom is a doctor and my dad a lawyer, so

1055
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:05,440
Speaker 5: we never had financial problems growing up. Me and my

1056
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:08,560
Speaker 5: sister at thirty five female Cindy fake name as well,

1057
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:11,400
Speaker 5: have always been taught by our parents to prioritize our

1058
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:14,080
Speaker 5: education before anything else.

1059
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:14,719
Speaker 2: Same.

1060
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,839
Speaker 5: My sister, Cindy, however, wasn't the type to listen. After

1061
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:20,799
Speaker 5: pursuing my wife for months, she agreed to go on

1062
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:22,480
Speaker 5: a date with me. It was hard to keep her

1063
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:25,560
Speaker 5: attention as she wasn't interested in dating and was pursued

1064
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:28,640
Speaker 5: by other guys as well. Eventually, she fell in love

1065
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 5: with me and we have been committed to each other

1066
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:34,719
Speaker 5: ever since. I completed my education and unfortunately went back

1067
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:37,359
Speaker 5: to Korea at my parents' request. My and I were

1068
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:40,200
Speaker 5: in a long distance relationship for a short period until

1069
00:51:40,239 --> 00:51:42,080
Speaker 5: I couldn't take it any I asked her to come

1070
00:51:42,120 --> 00:51:44,880
Speaker 5: to Korea to meet my parents. That's how serious I

1071
00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:48,319
Speaker 5: was about her. She freaked out and outright refused. She

1072
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:50,520
Speaker 5: was scared my parents wouldn't like her, and we had

1073
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:54,240
Speaker 5: a huge fight. She's the anxious type and overthinks a lot.

1074
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:57,480
Speaker 5: After two days and long conversations, she agreed to come

1075
00:51:57,520 --> 00:51:59,120
Speaker 5: to Korea to meet my parents.

1076
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:02,760
Speaker 6: Dude, this is the plot of crazy rich Asians right here. Yeah,

1077
00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:03,359
Speaker 6: great mood.

1078
00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:05,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, except it's Malaysia and not Korea.

1079
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:08,520
Speaker 5: But it's the same kind of like obsessive having to

1080
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:12,279
Speaker 5: like impress the parents for status. At that time, she

1081
00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:14,799
Speaker 5: didn't speak a word of Korean, but her English was

1082
00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:17,640
Speaker 5: and still is on point. I arranged the meeting with

1083
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:20,640
Speaker 5: my parents at a nice restaurant and my sister was present.

1084
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:23,640
Speaker 5: When we walked in, my mother's eyes widened because she

1085
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:26,520
Speaker 5: didn't expect my girlfriend to be black. Maya was born

1086
00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:29,320
Speaker 5: and raised in France, but she's one hundred percent African.

1087
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:30,840
Speaker 5: When I told my parents I met a girl I

1088
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:33,640
Speaker 5: liked in France, I should have known they'd expect a

1089
00:52:33,680 --> 00:52:34,280
Speaker 5: white girl.

1090
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:36,640
Speaker 6: Oh gotcha.

1091
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:40,839
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's a lot of colorism in Asian cultures, I know,

1092
00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:41,719
Speaker 5: like even.

1093
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:42,920
Speaker 2: Within your own culture.

1094
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:44,759
Speaker 5: Like that's why there's a lot of emphasis on like

1095
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:47,960
Speaker 5: skincare and paleness and like not being in this on

1096
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:49,840
Speaker 5: this way, you see a lot of like Asian cultures,

1097
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:52,839
Speaker 5: like hiding in the shade or wearing hats or having parasols.

1098
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:56,120
Speaker 5: Like even within Filipino culture, I know, there's the idea

1099
00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:58,160
Speaker 5: that like pale is more beautiful.

1100
00:52:58,360 --> 00:52:59,799
Speaker 2: I think largely because.

1101
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 5: Of like the Spanish colonization in all that conquest trauma

1102
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 5: that we have generationally and are still dealing with this.

1103
00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:10,680
Speaker 6: So there's probably that dynamic that they're going to have

1104
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 6: at dinner, and but the parents are going to overcome it,

1105
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:16,680
Speaker 6: and Seo is another person that's not going to be

1106
00:53:16,719 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 6: a problem.

1107
00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:17,839
Speaker 2: Absolutely.

1108
00:53:17,880 --> 00:53:20,240
Speaker 5: We love a happy ending on okay story time exactly.

1109
00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:21,239
Speaker 5: Happy endings here, don't.

1110
00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:23,760
Speaker 6: Yeah, Yeah, that's what I'm thanks gonna people.

1111
00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:26,840
Speaker 5: Can change for the better. It happened in crazy rich Asians,

1112
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:27,720
Speaker 5: it can happen here.

1113
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:29,720
Speaker 6: Boom.

1114
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 5: Nonetheless, the meeting went great. They asked questions about her education,

1115
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:36,000
Speaker 5: her parents, her family, et cetera. I could see that

1116
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:38,239
Speaker 5: she was nervous, but even though my parents were a

1117
00:53:38,239 --> 00:53:42,480
Speaker 5: bit reluctant of our relationship in the beginning, they accepted.

1118
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:43,400
Speaker 2: Her and we got married.

1119
00:53:43,560 --> 00:53:46,319
Speaker 5: The thorn in my foot was always Cindy for a

1120
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:50,959
Speaker 5: reason I never quite understood. She never accepted maya. Maya

1121
00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:53,400
Speaker 5: try to be friendly in the hopes they'd be more amicable,

1122
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 5: but with no success. So she gave up and told

1123
00:53:56,160 --> 00:53:58,879
Speaker 5: me it's not my problem. She can simply stay away

1124
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:01,279
Speaker 5: from me and I'll be fine with that, which I

1125
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:03,960
Speaker 5: agreed to with a laugh. Cindy isn't easy to get

1126
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,239
Speaker 5: along with, and I say that as her brother. When

1127
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:08,719
Speaker 5: we got married in France, Cindy found a way to

1128
00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 5: criticize everything, the food for my wife's country, the traditional

1129
00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:15,520
Speaker 5: attire she wanted to wear. But the real punter was

1130
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:18,799
Speaker 5: the duration of the ceremony. African and Korean weddings are

1131
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:22,400
Speaker 5: very different on that point. Our weddings are relatively short,

1132
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:27,000
Speaker 5: whereas theirs can last up to eight hours. Cindy complained

1133
00:54:27,080 --> 00:54:29,759
Speaker 5: and said that none of our relatives would ever stay

1134
00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:33,080
Speaker 5: that long, and if Maya's family were jobless people who

1135
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:36,919
Speaker 5: only wanted to party, they were going to be by themselves.

1136
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:40,920
Speaker 5: Oh boy ah ooh, there's a lot of there's a

1137
00:54:40,920 --> 00:54:43,759
Speaker 5: lot to going back there. Maya didn't like that, and

1138
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,719
Speaker 5: they got into a screaming match at the end. My

1139
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:49,800
Speaker 5: mom told Cindy to apologize because it wasn't her wedding

1140
00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:53,200
Speaker 5: and that she had no say in the planning process. Again,

1141
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:55,840
Speaker 5: what is it with like wedding planning that brings the

1142
00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:56,880
Speaker 5: worst out of people?

1143
00:54:57,400 --> 00:55:01,560
Speaker 6: Attention? Spotlight true, Spotlight's not on. I'm gonna scream.

1144
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:04,359
Speaker 5: After the ceremony, my wife and I applied for her

1145
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:07,000
Speaker 5: visa so she could come and live with us in Korea.

1146
00:55:07,239 --> 00:55:08,799
Speaker 6: It was a really hard.

1147
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:10,960
Speaker 5: Decision for her, but her mom convinced her that she

1148
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:14,040
Speaker 5: had to because now you're a married woman and you

1149
00:55:14,160 --> 00:55:16,680
Speaker 5: have to follow your husband. I didn't agree with that,

1150
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:19,160
Speaker 5: but my wife still decided to come live with me.

1151
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:22,480
Speaker 5: When we inform my family, my mom was really happy

1152
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:26,919
Speaker 5: about it, but my sister said, so it's one more

1153
00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:29,360
Speaker 5: of those foreigners marrying their way to Korea.

1154
00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:34,000
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Oh Cindy, what's wrong girl?

1155
00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:34,359
Speaker 1: Dude?

1156
00:55:34,560 --> 00:55:37,240
Speaker 6: This is what I thought Cindy was. I thought Cindy

1157
00:55:37,719 --> 00:55:40,400
Speaker 6: was a tide that isn't think traditionally. I'm not going

1158
00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:42,640
Speaker 6: to be a doctor or lawyer because my parents want

1159
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:47,320
Speaker 6: me to. And then she is the accepting one for Maya,

1160
00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:50,319
Speaker 6: and then that, and then parents weren't. Yeah, that's not

1161
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:52,880
Speaker 6: the case at all. I really don't understand where Cindy's

1162
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:55,160
Speaker 6: coming from. I'm trying to see.

1163
00:55:55,040 --> 00:55:55,839
Speaker 2: Someone hurt her.

1164
00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:58,160
Speaker 5: Someone hurt but like someone hurt her really bad, and

1165
00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:00,080
Speaker 5: she hasn't been able to let it. She liked and

1166
00:56:00,280 --> 00:56:02,560
Speaker 5: do the traditional thing, but she's still she's thinking in

1167
00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:03,920
Speaker 5: this traditional mindset.

1168
00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:04,720
Speaker 6: It's weird.

1169
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:08,480
Speaker 5: So it's like she doesn't want the traditional thing for herself,

1170
00:56:08,560 --> 00:56:11,279
Speaker 5: but it's expecting other people to follow that because it's

1171
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:12,280
Speaker 5: always her comfortable.

1172
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:14,880
Speaker 2: It's her comfort and no one else's.

1173
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:16,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's weird. It's super weird.

1174
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:17,400
Speaker 2: Yikes.

1175
00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:21,000
Speaker 5: Maya simply ignored her first, but Cindy wouldn't drop it,

1176
00:56:21,239 --> 00:56:23,160
Speaker 5: so she told her to go back to beg for

1177
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:24,080
Speaker 5: her shut up ring.

1178
00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:24,680
Speaker 6: Interesting.

1179
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:27,480
Speaker 5: My sister was at the time with her boyfriend Noah

1180
00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:29,560
Speaker 5: thirty seven mail for seven.

1181
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:30,720
Speaker 2: Years on and off.

1182
00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:33,080
Speaker 5: She wanted to marry Noah, but he made it clear

1183
00:56:33,239 --> 00:56:38,239
Speaker 5: it wasn't his priority. Oh she pressured him, and he

1184
00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:41,440
Speaker 5: finally gave in and they got married. My sister was

1185
00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:45,040
Speaker 5: studying to be a doctor. She completed her education, but

1186
00:56:45,120 --> 00:56:47,799
Speaker 5: when she married Noah, she didn't try to find a

1187
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:50,799
Speaker 5: job or unhopped in the stay at home with role.

1188
00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:54,040
Speaker 5: Fast forward to now Maya and I have a son.

1189
00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:55,720
Speaker 2: I hope I'm pronouncing.

1190
00:56:55,280 --> 00:56:58,279
Speaker 5: This correctly, Buell Buell, who's soon gonna be two?

1191
00:56:58,440 --> 00:56:58,960
Speaker 4: All right.

1192
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:02,279
Speaker 5: Maya was working in something commercial, but once she gave birth,

1193
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:04,359
Speaker 5: she decided to stay at home for a bit. She's

1194
00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:07,640
Speaker 5: now five months pregnant with our second baby. Cindy, however,

1195
00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:11,840
Speaker 5: recently got divorced after Noah had enough fair with his secretary,

1196
00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:15,479
Speaker 5: leaving her with almost nothing. After the divorce, he threw

1197
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:18,320
Speaker 5: her out of the house, and since she wasn't working

1198
00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:21,480
Speaker 5: and Noah wasn't leaving her access to their account, she

1199
00:57:21,640 --> 00:57:24,360
Speaker 5: only got a small amount of money out of the divorce,

1200
00:57:24,520 --> 00:57:26,120
Speaker 5: but not enough to live with.

1201
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:29,040
Speaker 6: Oh, man, if only you could, you know, have a

1202
00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:31,400
Speaker 6: stable job to rely on.

1203
00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:33,960
Speaker 2: Right, It's like, wow.

1204
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:35,120
Speaker 5: Man, if only you had a set of skills that's

1205
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:38,080
Speaker 5: highly sought after and could possibly provide you a very

1206
00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:41,720
Speaker 5: well provided life doing something that's meaningful and helpful to

1207
00:57:42,160 --> 00:57:45,000
Speaker 5: society in general, during which she'd be seen as a

1208
00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:47,880
Speaker 5: positive force for the community and for your country, and

1209
00:57:47,920 --> 00:57:49,320
Speaker 5: would be looked at and respected.

1210
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 6: And if only you were to do something like that.

1211
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:53,600
Speaker 5: Oh man, it just seems so hard. If you'd like

1212
00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:54,680
Speaker 5: gone to medical school, you know.

1213
00:57:55,120 --> 00:57:58,440
Speaker 6: Yeah, But and earlier I was not doing forced labor.

1214
00:57:58,480 --> 00:58:00,200
Speaker 6: I'm just saying it was silly that she went to

1215
00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:04,320
Speaker 6: school and didn't become a doctor because she just thought

1216
00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:06,120
Speaker 6: it would be easier to be staying home wife. He'sy

1217
00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:08,120
Speaker 6: Robberts pointing me out there. I just want to clear

1218
00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:08,960
Speaker 6: that up real quick.

1219
00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:12,160
Speaker 5: She asked me and my wife if she could stay

1220
00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:15,760
Speaker 5: with us for a bit. I originally wanted to refuse,

1221
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:19,200
Speaker 5: but Maya said that my sister needed help and that

1222
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:21,520
Speaker 5: she was in a dark place, so we had to

1223
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:25,280
Speaker 5: be nicer and more supportive regarding her situation. So we

1224
00:58:25,280 --> 00:58:29,160
Speaker 5: welcomed her. And she's been living with us for six months.

1225
00:58:29,280 --> 00:58:33,400
Speaker 5: Oh no, ever since she's been living with us. It's

1226
00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:38,760
Speaker 5: been a nightmare. Oh God, she's criticizing everything. My wife

1227
00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:41,760
Speaker 5: isn't cooking enough. Buell is too much glued to his mamma.

1228
00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:43,720
Speaker 5: He's a mama's boy. What can I do about that?

1229
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:45,480
Speaker 2: Nothing? He probably gets it for me.

1230
00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:47,440
Speaker 6: He's also what two two?

1231
00:58:47,640 --> 00:58:49,760
Speaker 2: He's two, He's a kid. That's what babies do.

1232
00:58:50,120 --> 00:58:52,880
Speaker 5: He can't go off and work in the fields. Yeah,

1233
00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:55,480
Speaker 5: we don't do that anymore. We don't speak Korean enough

1234
00:58:55,520 --> 00:58:58,120
Speaker 5: to him. She doesn't want to eat African food. Maya

1235
00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:01,880
Speaker 5: isn't dedicated enough to her husband, on etcetera. Maya always

1236
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:03,800
Speaker 5: put up with it and told me she was probably

1237
00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:06,800
Speaker 5: depressed because of how her marriage ended. She's always tried

1238
00:59:06,800 --> 00:59:10,120
Speaker 5: to be understanding, even though my sister's behavior has taken

1239
00:59:10,160 --> 00:59:13,120
Speaker 5: a huge visible toll on her mental health. The situation

1240
00:59:13,280 --> 00:59:16,160
Speaker 5: has been a lot worse ever since Maya got pregnant.

1241
00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:21,120
Speaker 5: She was extremely upset and tired, and we didn't understand why.

1242
00:59:21,240 --> 00:59:24,000
Speaker 5: Once we found out she was pregnant, it made sense

1243
00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 5: that taking care of the house, the baby, and my

1244
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:29,280
Speaker 5: sister was too much. I hired a housekeeper so my

1245
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:31,600
Speaker 5: wife could focus more on her pregnancy and have more

1246
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:34,480
Speaker 5: time to herself. Cindy complained that I was spoiling her

1247
00:59:34,640 --> 00:59:36,400
Speaker 5: and that she should be used to doing all of

1248
00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:39,280
Speaker 5: that because women from the working class have six children,

1249
00:59:39,560 --> 00:59:41,360
Speaker 5: work and take care of everything.

1250
00:59:41,560 --> 00:59:43,760
Speaker 2: Okay, Cindy, what is your problem, dude?

1251
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:46,760
Speaker 5: There's a lot of like prejudice here, Yeah, and a

1252
00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:50,520
Speaker 5: lot of just like looking at stereotypes, which is not

1253
00:59:50,720 --> 00:59:51,520
Speaker 5: warranted at all.

1254
00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:51,960
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1255
00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:55,760
Speaker 5: Someone had to have hurt her or like gotten her

1256
00:59:55,760 --> 00:59:58,000
Speaker 5: into this mentality, which doesn't excuse anything at all.

1257
00:59:58,080 --> 01:00:01,160
Speaker 6: But it's like, and I think you know having her

1258
01:00:01,200 --> 01:00:02,880
Speaker 6: in your house, you did the angel move, you let

1259
01:00:02,920 --> 01:00:06,000
Speaker 6: her in. Yeah, after three months of this, you're gone.

1260
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:08,360
Speaker 6: You gotta be gone. You're bringing my house into a nightmare,

1261
01:00:08,360 --> 01:00:10,960
Speaker 6: and you're criticizing everything my wife's doing. You can't be

1262
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:11,480
Speaker 6: having that.

1263
01:00:11,720 --> 01:00:14,760
Speaker 5: I understand Opie's her brother, Yeah, but the fact that

1264
01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 5: this isn't your house, they're doing you a favor.

1265
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:18,560
Speaker 2: Where do you feel.

1266
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:20,400
Speaker 5: I mean, I understand where she feels the entitlement, but

1267
01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:21,760
Speaker 5: also at the same time, where do you get that

1268
01:00:22,160 --> 01:00:22,960
Speaker 5: that entitlement?

1269
01:00:23,240 --> 01:00:24,880
Speaker 2: Are you get in that audacity? Cindy?

1270
01:00:25,320 --> 01:00:25,880
Speaker 6: Exactly?

1271
01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:28,760
Speaker 5: She said that Maya was lazy and that I was

1272
01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:31,760
Speaker 5: spoiling her. I couldn't take it anymore, and I told

1273
01:00:31,760 --> 01:00:33,840
Speaker 5: her to mind her own business, that I wasn't going

1274
01:00:33,920 --> 01:00:36,720
Speaker 5: to take advice from a pick me who wasn't capable

1275
01:00:36,720 --> 01:00:40,440
Speaker 5: of keeping her marriage despite being male centered. Oh it

1276
01:00:40,480 --> 01:00:42,760
Speaker 5: was mean, I know, but I was tired of her

1277
01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:45,840
Speaker 5: criticizing my pregnant wife in her own home. Cindy called

1278
01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:48,400
Speaker 5: me cruel and went back to her room, yelling profanities

1279
01:00:48,400 --> 01:00:50,440
Speaker 5: at me. But I couldn't care less about it. What

1280
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:52,840
Speaker 5: really set me over the edge was two weeks ago,

1281
01:00:53,040 --> 01:00:55,280
Speaker 5: we were having dinner. My son was having a sleepover

1282
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:59,080
Speaker 5: at my parents' house, so it was me, Cindy, my wife,

1283
01:00:59,120 --> 01:01:01,920
Speaker 5: and the housekeeper. The housekeeper was serving us dinner and

1284
01:01:01,960 --> 01:01:04,880
Speaker 5: Maya filled her plate with various dishes and side dishes.

1285
01:01:04,960 --> 01:01:06,960
Speaker 5: She told the housekeeper to stay and have dinner with us,

1286
01:01:07,120 --> 01:01:08,880
Speaker 5: since it was late at night and that she wouldn't

1287
01:01:08,880 --> 01:01:11,000
Speaker 5: be able to finish it all. She tried to protest,

1288
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:13,680
Speaker 5: but Maya insisted she'd share a meal with us, so

1289
01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:15,840
Speaker 5: she grabbed a plate and went back to the table.

1290
01:01:15,880 --> 01:01:18,600
Speaker 5: We were eating, and since Maya eats for two people,

1291
01:01:18,840 --> 01:01:22,080
Speaker 5: she was eating more than usual. Cindy smirked and said

1292
01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:25,280
Speaker 5: she should slow it down because she's only five months pregnant,

1293
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:28,240
Speaker 5: and that she'd soon become a whale. Maya put down

1294
01:01:28,280 --> 01:01:32,240
Speaker 5: her spoon immediately. Our housekeeper said it wasn't true that

1295
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:34,480
Speaker 5: she needed to nourish both her body and the baby,

1296
01:01:34,840 --> 01:01:36,640
Speaker 5: and she put both fish and meat.

1297
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:37,320
Speaker 2: On my wife's plate.

1298
01:01:37,480 --> 01:01:39,720
Speaker 5: Cindy said that no man wants to parade with a

1299
01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:42,520
Speaker 5: whale on his arm, and that my wife should be

1300
01:01:42,600 --> 01:01:45,400
Speaker 5: more self conscious of the way she looks.

1301
01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:48,000
Speaker 2: Cindy knows that Maya.

1302
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:50,959
Speaker 5: Has been insecure about her weight and overall appearance since

1303
01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:54,120
Speaker 5: the second pregnancy. I could see her eyes fill themselves

1304
01:01:54,120 --> 01:01:57,800
Speaker 5: with tears, and she left the table and I lost it.

1305
01:01:57,880 --> 01:01:59,920
Speaker 5: While I could hear my wife crying in our garden,

1306
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:02,880
Speaker 5: our housekeeper trying to calm her down. I was straight

1307
01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:06,360
Speaker 5: up yelling at Cindy and told her to get out.

1308
01:02:06,160 --> 01:02:06,800
Speaker 2: Of my house.

1309
01:02:07,160 --> 01:02:11,960
Speaker 6: That is crazy. I was really sidetracked by the brief

1310
01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:15,320
Speaker 6: mention of the housekeeper in garden where do you live?

1311
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:17,960
Speaker 6: They are well off right now.

1312
01:02:19,120 --> 01:02:22,080
Speaker 5: Because in Asia, at least the Philippines would want. I know,

1313
01:02:22,200 --> 01:02:25,800
Speaker 5: labor is cheap. It's more cheap than like material things,

1314
01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:29,320
Speaker 5: so instead of like doing it yourself, it's sometimes more

1315
01:02:29,440 --> 01:02:33,040
Speaker 5: like economical or like affordable at least to have a

1316
01:02:33,080 --> 01:02:36,560
Speaker 5: housekeeper or to have hired help, because it's it could

1317
01:02:36,600 --> 01:02:38,560
Speaker 5: be a situation where they are well off, like you've

1318
01:02:38,560 --> 01:02:41,200
Speaker 5: seen parasite they had, they're well off, they have housekeeper,

1319
01:02:41,560 --> 01:02:43,840
Speaker 5: like even like my family and the Philippines, who's like

1320
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:46,520
Speaker 5: I think maybe middle class, like they have hired help

1321
01:02:46,600 --> 01:02:49,400
Speaker 5: just because it's it's easier for them to divide the

1322
01:02:49,440 --> 01:02:52,960
Speaker 5: housework and then go to work or or things like that.

1323
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:56,240
Speaker 6: Okay, it's not out of the realm of possibility. Okay,

1324
01:02:56,280 --> 01:02:57,000
Speaker 6: that makes sense.

1325
01:02:57,120 --> 01:02:57,960
Speaker 1: For months, she.

1326
01:02:57,960 --> 01:03:00,160
Speaker 5: Has been insulting my wife in her own house, and

1327
01:03:00,200 --> 01:03:02,600
Speaker 5: because Maya is nice, she put up with it.

1328
01:03:02,680 --> 01:03:04,640
Speaker 2: But I wasn't going to let it slide this time.

1329
01:03:04,760 --> 01:03:06,800
Speaker 5: I told her that it was one thing to let

1330
01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:09,680
Speaker 5: her blank of her husband cheat on her and that

1331
01:03:09,760 --> 01:03:12,440
Speaker 5: she was left with nothing, but my wife didn't have

1332
01:03:12,520 --> 01:03:14,720
Speaker 5: to baby her. She needed to leave my house now

1333
01:03:14,840 --> 01:03:16,320
Speaker 5: or I was going to call the cops to get

1334
01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:18,800
Speaker 5: her out of my house. Cindy tried to cry and

1335
01:03:18,840 --> 01:03:21,000
Speaker 5: tell me she had nowhere else to go, but I

1336
01:03:21,080 --> 01:03:22,920
Speaker 5: wasn't having it. She left the house and went to

1337
01:03:22,960 --> 01:03:23,880
Speaker 5: stay at my parents' house.

1338
01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:25,680
Speaker 4: You had somewhere to go, There you go.

1339
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:28,680
Speaker 5: Maya feels terrible and thinks that the situation is her

1340
01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:32,160
Speaker 5: fault because family members have been non stop messaging both

1341
01:03:32,200 --> 01:03:34,800
Speaker 5: of us, her for breaking our family apart and me

1342
01:03:35,040 --> 01:03:37,880
Speaker 5: for choosing my wife over my sister who's in a

1343
01:03:37,960 --> 01:03:39,120
Speaker 5: difficult situation.

1344
01:03:39,560 --> 01:03:42,439
Speaker 2: Well, oh am, I of a booty hole.

1345
01:03:42,880 --> 01:03:43,040
Speaker 4: No,