1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 1: Whether you are single or attached, everyone feels lonely at times, 2 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:08,600 Speaker 1: and the first step to getting out of your feelings 3 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:12,520 Speaker 1: is not only acknowledging this, but understanding that you are 4 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 1: not alone in feeling this way. Hey, Hurdler's Emily ABOUDI 5 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:35,159 Speaker 1: here bringing you another installment of Hurdle Moment from Hurdle 6 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:42,760 Speaker 1: this week. The theme is how to manage Loneliness. It 7 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:46,839 Speaker 1: was the theme of last night's hurdle session finding Your 8 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:51,280 Speaker 1: Power Alone, and I felt like it was a good 9 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 1: idea to bring this to the feed. If you follow 10 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:58,760 Speaker 1: me on social media, you know that this is something 11 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 1: that I certainly struggle with, as a lot of people 12 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 1: struggle with. 13 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 2: And it's interesting because I feel like. 14 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:14,119 Speaker 1: Admitting that you feel lonely is a little taboo sometimes, right, 15 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,720 Speaker 1: It's like we feel like we're not supposed to talk 16 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,959 Speaker 1: about this stuff. It's like you're not supposed to talk 17 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 1: about God, sex or money. But the thing is is 18 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 1: that so many people feel this way. And it's not 19 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:32,840 Speaker 1: like only individuals that are single feel this way. It's 20 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:36,119 Speaker 1: people in relationships, it's people with families. It's you can 21 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:41,000 Speaker 1: feel lonely and literally be sitting in an arena full 22 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,840 Speaker 1: of people, although I really don't think many people in 23 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 1: the US anyway are doing that right now. All this 24 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:51,520 Speaker 1: to say that for Hurdle Moment this week, I am 25 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,080 Speaker 1: talking about strategies. 26 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,160 Speaker 2: To manage loneliness. 27 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 1: And before we get into it today, I do want 28 00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 1: to take a moment and thank my sponsor. New sponsor 29 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 1: to the show Thrive Market. So they are an online 30 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 1: membership based market and I am. 31 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:10,800 Speaker 2: Sold on it. 32 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:14,240 Speaker 1: Basically, it works like Costco, and I feel like everyone 33 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:17,440 Speaker 1: I know grew up either going with their parents on 34 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 1: the weekends to Costco or BJ's to use the service, 35 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:25,440 Speaker 1: it requires a membership. The membership is either nine ninety 36 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 1: five a month, or if you sign up for twelve 37 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 1: months at a time, it's only five dollars a month. 38 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:34,640 Speaker 1: And the membership it gets you twenty five to fifty 39 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:39,560 Speaker 1: percent off of regular prices for things that sometimes literally 40 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:40,680 Speaker 1: cost an arm and. 41 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,079 Speaker 2: A leg at my local grocery store. 42 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 1: I'm talking, of course groceries, but also bath and body meets, 43 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 1: some seafoods, clean wines brands, some of my favorite brands 44 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 1: like missus Myers, Right Rice, some. 45 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,960 Speaker 2: Warrior Noon, or Gain, you name it. 46 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 1: I easily saved one hundred dollars on my first order. 47 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 2: I went with their seafood box. This thing was massive. 48 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:09,960 Speaker 1: I likely got enough fresh wildcotseafood, even lobster tales because 49 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 1: I know I'm super fancy to last me through like 50 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 1: two or three weeks of dinners. I'm telling you, thrive 51 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 1: Market makes it really simple to get some of the 52 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:22,560 Speaker 1: best brands delivered right to your home. Head on over 53 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,800 Speaker 1: to thrive market dot com slash hurdle and join today 54 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 1: to get a free gift of your choosing up to 55 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 1: a twenty. 56 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:30,680 Speaker 2: Two dollars value. 57 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:35,120 Speaker 1: Again, that's thrive market dot com slash Hurdle t h R. 58 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 1: I ve market dot com slash hurdle to start your 59 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 1: risk free membership and get a free gift today thrive 60 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 1: market dot com slash Hurdle. As always, if you feel 61 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 1: what you are listening to today and I have a 62 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 1: feeling that we're on the same page here with this 63 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 1: loneliness stuff, make sure to reach out to me over Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, 64 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: at Hurdle podcast at Emily a Body. If you have 65 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 1: a hurdle moment of your own to share, or you 66 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 1: just want to say hi, always feel free to email me. 67 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 1: It's Emily at hurdle dot us and if you have 68 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 1: yet to either subscribe to the Weekly Hurdle or become 69 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 1: a member of Hurdle. 70 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,680 Speaker 2: Of the New Secret sh. 71 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 1: Hurdler's Facebook group, links to do all of that are 72 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:21,040 Speaker 1: in the show notes. 73 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 2: With that, let's get to hurdling loneliness. 74 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,599 Speaker 1: It's interesting there are a lot of things in life 75 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 1: that can trigger the feeling of loneliness. And before we 76 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:41,040 Speaker 1: get into this topic today, I feel like it's really 77 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:46,479 Speaker 1: important to distinguish the difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Now, 78 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:51,240 Speaker 1: being alone is literally a state of being, whereas feeling 79 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: lonely is a state of mind. You can feel lonely, 80 00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 1: like I said, standing in a large group of people, 81 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 1: even though you might not be physically alone. And let 82 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,840 Speaker 1: me tell you, as someone who has been living alone 83 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,680 Speaker 1: for at least four years, I work for myself. I 84 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:12,720 Speaker 1: spend a lot of time alone, But it wasn't until 85 00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:17,440 Speaker 1: about twenty eighteen when I really felt ultimately at my 86 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:21,760 Speaker 1: loneliest point. At the time, I had recently gotten out 87 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:26,160 Speaker 1: of a relationship and I was really struggling to identify 88 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:30,120 Speaker 1: my sense of self worth, as one does sometimes when 89 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,839 Speaker 1: you're dealing with all of the things that go hand 90 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:35,479 Speaker 1: in hand with that kind of situation. And so I 91 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:40,719 Speaker 1: did two things which really changed my life. One was 92 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:46,200 Speaker 1: start this podcast, and two was take a ten day 93 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:49,719 Speaker 1: solo trip to Italy. Now, before I went on that 94 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,159 Speaker 1: trip to Italy, I felt as though if I was 95 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:55,760 Speaker 1: doing things alone, that I was doing something wrong, and 96 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:59,720 Speaker 1: that by wanting to go to dinner by myself or 97 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:03,800 Speaker 1: around Manhattan by myself, that meant that I couldn't find 98 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:06,320 Speaker 1: someone who wanted to do that activity with me, and 99 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,120 Speaker 1: then in turn, I was messing up. 100 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,920 Speaker 2: And what that ten day. 101 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 1: Solo trip to Italy, which I would literally do anything 102 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 1: to go back and do this very second, what that 103 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:22,680 Speaker 1: trip taught me was that it's okay to be alone, 104 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:25,600 Speaker 1: and in fact, there are so many benefits you can 105 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:30,799 Speaker 1: gain from that alone time. By getting to a place 106 00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:34,440 Speaker 1: where I felt more comfortable spending time alone, I ultimately 107 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:38,119 Speaker 1: began to feel less lonely in my life and even 108 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:41,480 Speaker 1: got to a place where I could really enjoy that 109 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 1: solo time. So now let's bring it back to the 110 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:51,360 Speaker 1: concept of loneliness. I cannot reiterate this enough. Your marital status, 111 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,839 Speaker 1: being single or attached, does not one way or the 112 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:59,000 Speaker 1: other prevent you from feeling lonely. Everyone feels lonely. A 113 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:03,359 Speaker 1: stat that I found on the interwebs is that twenty 114 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:10,320 Speaker 1: two percent of Americans feel some sort of constant ambient loneliness. 115 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,800 Speaker 1: If you are feeling lonely, there are some telltale signs. 116 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:17,840 Speaker 1: You're focused on, perhaps material possessions, and maybe you're shopping 117 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:20,640 Speaker 1: a lot. You don't feel like you have a lot 118 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 1: of deep connections. Maybe you're experiencing a lot of feelings 119 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:27,040 Speaker 1: of self doubt and negative self worth. You could feel 120 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 1: exhausted and burnt out. You're regularly sick. Fun fact, if 121 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,760 Speaker 1: you feel really lonely, that also disarms your immune. 122 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:35,360 Speaker 2: System to an extent. 123 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:42,040 Speaker 1: Also, maybe you feel insecure in your relationships. Well, here's 124 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 1: the deal, newsflash, just because you feel lonely doesn't mean 125 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 1: that your life is in shambles. So let's talk about 126 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:54,560 Speaker 1: strategies to tackle loneliness head on. First things first, it's 127 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:58,240 Speaker 1: important to be honest with yourself and others about how 128 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 1: you feel. It's super important for you to admit when 129 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 1: you are feeling this way, firstly to yourself, until you 130 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:10,680 Speaker 1: confront this feeling, until you allow yourself to truly feel 131 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:14,280 Speaker 1: this loneliness and admit to it, you will never be 132 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 1: able to do something about it. Similarly, when it comes 133 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 1: to your prize relationships to the people that you care about, 134 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 1: it is important that you open up to someone or 135 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 1: maybe a few people that you can trust about this subject. 136 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,440 Speaker 1: There is a little bit of a stigma about this 137 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 1: concept of loneliness, and I think what you will find 138 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:39,400 Speaker 1: is once you say to your friend, or your family member, 139 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 1: or your mentor or your coworker, hey, I'm really struggling 140 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:48,119 Speaker 1: with this, you will be met with someone that totally 141 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:52,120 Speaker 1: understands how you feel because at times they have felt 142 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:57,040 Speaker 1: it too instantly. By sharing your feelings of loneliness with 143 00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:01,640 Speaker 1: someone else, you will in turn feel less alone, and 144 00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 1: that is a really great starting point. Next strategy for 145 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 1: tackling loneliness head on. Notice negative thought patterns and then 146 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,840 Speaker 1: move forward. I remember years ago when I started using 147 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:17,680 Speaker 1: headspace for the first time. Noting is a key concept 148 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,520 Speaker 1: in meditation, and basically what that means is you just 149 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 1: recognize that you are having a thought, accept the thought, 150 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,800 Speaker 1: and then move forward from it. That doesn't mean that 151 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,800 Speaker 1: you won't ever experience that type of thought again, but 152 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,560 Speaker 1: what it does mean is that you just accept that 153 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:38,079 Speaker 1: it's happening, without judgment, without anger. So if you are 154 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:42,200 Speaker 1: feeling lonely again, admit it to yourself, Note that you 155 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:47,200 Speaker 1: feel lonely, and then harness the opportunity to do something 156 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:52,320 Speaker 1: about it. Next strategy, make smart plans. So when I 157 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,760 Speaker 1: find that I am personally in a rut of feeling 158 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,000 Speaker 1: really lonely, one of the best things that I can 159 00:09:57,040 --> 00:10:00,520 Speaker 1: do for myself is make plans that give me something 160 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:03,199 Speaker 1: to look forward to. And that doesn't necessarily mean that 161 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,680 Speaker 1: within the next thirty minutes I'm going to leave my 162 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,040 Speaker 1: apartment meet up with a friend, and all of a sudden, 163 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,680 Speaker 1: because I'm no longer alone, I'm not lonely. No, it 164 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:14,120 Speaker 1: doesn't look like that this is just one step to 165 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,840 Speaker 1: the puzzle here. Anyway, These plans again gives you somebody 166 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:21,440 Speaker 1: to look forward to, put something on your to do list, 167 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:24,240 Speaker 1: and then in turn also presents you again with that 168 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:28,160 Speaker 1: opportunity to talk about where you are coming from with 169 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:29,440 Speaker 1: someone else if. 170 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 2: You ask me. 171 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,600 Speaker 1: Even better, if these are active plans to get the 172 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 1: blood flow moving to feel those necessary endorphins. But hey, 173 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 1: to each their own. Next strategy, check your social media usage. 174 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 1: I'm sure I'm not the first person to tell you 175 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 1: that checking in on social media can surely instill some 176 00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 1: feelings of self doubt. At times, you see people doing things, 177 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,560 Speaker 1: maybe things that you want to be doing that you're 178 00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:59,040 Speaker 1: not doing. You see the way that somebody looks, or 179 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,400 Speaker 1: a project that they have going on, or some sort 180 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,040 Speaker 1: of accomplishment that they have, and at times, although you 181 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:07,200 Speaker 1: want to be happy for them and hopefully you're surrounding 182 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:10,920 Speaker 1: yourself and your feed with people that inspire you, this 183 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,880 Speaker 1: experience the scrolling, it can make you feel like you're 184 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 1: not good enough, and that is the last thing you 185 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 1: need when you are feeling lonely, So at this time 186 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:25,760 Speaker 1: great opportunity to check out of social media. Life will 187 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,960 Speaker 1: go on if you don't open Instagram for a few 188 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 1: hours or better yet, maybe even a full weekend. By 189 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:37,240 Speaker 1: steering clear from social media, which might take a little 190 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,960 Speaker 1: bit of actual effort at first, you can come back 191 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 1: to what's really happening in your life and dedicate the 192 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:49,120 Speaker 1: time reinvest that time back into yourself and your well being. 193 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:53,280 Speaker 1: My next strategy for tackling a loneliness head on has 194 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,959 Speaker 1: to do with list making. Y'all, know that I love 195 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,600 Speaker 1: to write things down. I do it a lot as 196 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:02,000 Speaker 1: a journalist, but also a lot for personal development. Self 197 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:05,680 Speaker 1: development work, and so lists that I have made that 198 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:09,600 Speaker 1: help me deal with my feelings when I am feeling lonely. 199 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:11,920 Speaker 1: First up, I have a list of things that I 200 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,520 Speaker 1: can do by myself that bring me joy. I know 201 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:18,040 Speaker 1: that sounds a little silly, perhaps, but I literally go 202 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:20,760 Speaker 1: back to it time and time again, even though let's 203 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,800 Speaker 1: be real, by now, I have most of it memorized 204 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:27,280 Speaker 1: and figured out. Things on this list I love writing, 205 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,199 Speaker 1: I love reading. I love going for bike rides and runs. 206 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,080 Speaker 1: I actually love dining out by myself and bringing you 207 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:37,119 Speaker 1: a book to make that experience feel really extra enjoyable. 208 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,199 Speaker 1: I like taking walks in the mornings with coffee. I mean, 209 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,520 Speaker 1: the list goes on and on, but the point of 210 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:45,600 Speaker 1: that list is like, Okay, I'm feeling super lonely, but 211 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:48,280 Speaker 1: it reminds you that there are things in your life 212 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 1: that you can do that bring you joy that require 213 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 1: absolutely no one else at that moment. Other lists that 214 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:57,800 Speaker 1: can help with loneliness have a list of people that 215 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:00,320 Speaker 1: you feel like you can go to, someone that you 216 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:03,080 Speaker 1: can be open with about how you truly feel and 217 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,440 Speaker 1: in these moments of loneliness, as you work through these 218 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:08,840 Speaker 1: other strategies, you'll be able to reach out to one 219 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 1: of these people to have that open dialogue. Another list 220 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,760 Speaker 1: that I think is really critical for us to reflect 221 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,360 Speaker 1: on when we are feeling lonely, and an exercise I 222 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 1: would encourage you to do what literally today is. I 223 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:25,880 Speaker 1: want you to write down the things that you love 224 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:29,199 Speaker 1: about yourself. It can be a little awkward going through 225 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:34,440 Speaker 1: this whole self flattery thing, but here's the deal. You 226 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:38,840 Speaker 1: are great as you are, and every single person that 227 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:42,040 Speaker 1: is listening to this right now in their headphones, you 228 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:45,920 Speaker 1: have redeeming qualities. Although your loneliness may make you feel 229 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 1: like you are just a hot mess, You're not a 230 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:51,320 Speaker 1: hot mess. I want you to take at least three 231 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,959 Speaker 1: to five minutes, maybe it's right at this very second, 232 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:57,000 Speaker 1: when you're done listening to this episode, and write down 233 00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:00,240 Speaker 1: the things that you love about yourself. Your personality, your 234 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,320 Speaker 1: work effort, how you show up for others, your passion 235 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:06,160 Speaker 1: for laughter, your ability to show up for the people 236 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,400 Speaker 1: that you care about, whatever it is, whatever they are, 237 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,840 Speaker 1: the things that make you you, the things that you 238 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:14,240 Speaker 1: really value about yourself. Write those things down and go 239 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:17,000 Speaker 1: back to this list when you feel as though you 240 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:22,320 Speaker 1: are struggling. Trust me, it will really really help. And 241 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 1: my last tip for today for tackling loneliness head on, 242 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:30,520 Speaker 1: be kind to other people you know. Once, I read 243 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:34,400 Speaker 1: a research study that talked about the benefit that athletes 244 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 1: can get from cheering on other athletes during about of efforts. 245 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:42,520 Speaker 1: So I remember I said this in my episode with 246 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 1: Coach Bennett that I read this study right before the 247 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,720 Speaker 1: Chicago Marathon. And because of that, as I'm running and 248 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,840 Speaker 1: like literally giving it all that I've got, I'm cheering 249 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 1: on other people that I don't know in the process, 250 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:57,640 Speaker 1: and that cheering gives me, in turn a boost. When 251 00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:03,360 Speaker 1: you are kind to other people, that positivity. Putting that 252 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:08,800 Speaker 1: positivity into the universe will come back to you. Trust me, literally, 253 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:11,840 Speaker 1: tomorrow morning, if you're going to grab a cup of coffee, 254 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,440 Speaker 1: or pick up your dry cleaning, or grab something from 255 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:18,280 Speaker 1: the grocery store, treat the person that is helping provide 256 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:21,400 Speaker 1: you a service with a little extra kindness and watch 257 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:27,040 Speaker 1: their face light up. That beautiful interaction. It gives back 258 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:30,400 Speaker 1: to you. It makes you realize that you aren't in 259 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:35,080 Speaker 1: this day to day grind by yourself. If you happen 260 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,520 Speaker 1: to be spending most of your days at home, which 261 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:41,040 Speaker 1: many of us are, rather than doing this in real 262 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,640 Speaker 1: life with someone that might be providing you a service, 263 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:47,640 Speaker 1: simply maybe respond to emails with a little bit more compassion. 264 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,960 Speaker 1: Text a friend and tell them that you appreciate them, 265 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:56,240 Speaker 1: show up to your day with a smile, and choose gratitude. 266 00:15:56,320 --> 00:16:01,240 Speaker 1: And choosing gratitude every single time will help you feel 267 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:05,000 Speaker 1: less lonely. I can't put this reminder out into the 268 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:10,160 Speaker 1: universe enough. Whether you are single or attached, everyone feels 269 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:13,880 Speaker 1: lonely at times. In the first step to getting out 270 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:18,120 Speaker 1: of your feelings is not only acknowledging this, but understanding 271 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:21,720 Speaker 1: that you are not alone in feeling this way. I'd 272 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 1: love to hear from you if you have any tips 273 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:27,840 Speaker 1: or tricks that you use to fight this lonely feeling 274 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:31,640 Speaker 1: when it seeps in for you. And one last reminder, 275 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:35,400 Speaker 1: if you do find yourself feeling lonely, I want you 276 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:39,360 Speaker 1: to remember that it is not a forever thing, this feeling. 277 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:43,160 Speaker 1: It's temporary, and by being open about it, by talking 278 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,760 Speaker 1: to friends, by making lists, and using all of these strategies, 279 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 1: you will get past it. If you liked what you 280 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:54,360 Speaker 1: listened to today, I highly encourage you to head on 281 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,880 Speaker 1: over to the Hurdle website. The link is in the 282 00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:00,400 Speaker 1: show notes and there you can take my full hurdle 283 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:04,520 Speaker 1: session on how to come into your power alone at 284 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:09,840 Speaker 1: Emily Body at Hurdle Podcast. Another hurdle conquered. Catch you 285 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:10,560 Speaker 1: guys next time.