Speaker 1: And we hit it from the back. I don't know
Speaker 1: why that song can't to mine hitting it from the
Speaker 1: back just because I wanted to say we're back.
Speaker 2: But I ran home so fast tonight because I realized
Speaker 2: I really miss you.
Speaker 1: I get did it honestly want first of all, your curls.
Speaker 1: I know the kids don't say on bleak anymore since
Speaker 1: you're the millennial. You have to tell you like what
Speaker 1: the new word is. But you had like a side
Speaker 1: profile picture with like your curls. I was like, look
Speaker 1: at Mandy mastering the curls.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, so much has happened since we were last
Speaker 2: on air. It's only been a couple of weeks, but
Speaker 2: I feel like lives have been changed. Jewelry has been
Speaker 2: adorning fingers in certain places. My hair has been has
Speaker 2: come out of the closet as a curly curl power.
Speaker 2: But forget my hair for a second. I want to
Speaker 2: hear about your news because I don't know if these
Speaker 2: Brown Ambition listeners have been under a rock. But Tivity
Speaker 2: has some news for us.
Speaker 1: So Superman has officially asked me to be Superwoman.
Speaker 2: Oh that's okay, Wait a second, No, you definitely need
Speaker 2: to have like a cake topper of Superman and Superwoman.
Speaker 1: Right now, so I'll tell you how it is so typical,
Speaker 1: tell me the story. So he had the ring, which
Speaker 1: we all kind of know. I don't know if we
Speaker 1: kept that part in where I said I kind of
Speaker 1: saw the ring beforehand. No.
Speaker 2: No, So people who are listening have no idea of
Speaker 2: these current events.
Speaker 1: So it worked out what happened earlier. After I got
Speaker 1: back from FINCN, the financial blogger conference that me and
Speaker 1: Maydie always talking about that you don't probably care about.
Speaker 1: I came home, he wasn't home, and I saw a
Speaker 1: white box on the dresser, So I was like, what's
Speaker 1: this white box? So I opened the white box and
Speaker 1: inside it was a ring box, and I said shut up,
Speaker 1: and good Tiffany on one shoulder said don't you open it?
Speaker 1: But then real realistic Tiffany was like, giry been opened
Speaker 1: that box? And I did, and I took a quick
Speaker 1: peek and I closed it because I was like, wait,
Speaker 1: I would be surprised. And then I was like, wait,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I like it, And then me
Speaker 1: and Mandy talked about like it was too late.
Speaker 2: Well wait a second, let's talk about why he left
Speaker 2: it out in the open.
Speaker 1: He totally forgot because I wasn't home, so I don't
Speaker 1: know if he was like showing one of his guy friends.
Speaker 1: So now he's told me since then that he had
Speaker 1: bought it like a month or so prior, so it
Speaker 1: wasn't like he. I thought maybe he bought it when
Speaker 1: I was away at FENCN since NCON was in California
Speaker 1: house for a week and so, but no, he bought
Speaker 1: it a while before, and so I don't know if
Speaker 1: he took it out to look at it or whatever.
Speaker 1: But he cleaned up, and you know, I guess he
Speaker 1: just forgot it on the dresser. Meanwhile, we you know,
Speaker 1: we have like our side of the dresser. It was
Speaker 1: my side of the dressing by my jewelry. Bo.
Speaker 2: He got real comfortable while you were gone for some times.
Speaker 2: Isn't that sweet?
Speaker 1: Though?
Speaker 2: I feel like part of the romance of the proposal
Speaker 2: isn't like how they ask, but it's knowing that they
Speaker 2: had their ring for a certain amount of time and
Speaker 2: all this time they knew they were gonna.
Speaker 1: That's what's I thought. I was like, Oh, like I said,
Speaker 1: I didn't know all this then, so I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: my god. And then I was like, wait, I wish
Speaker 1: I was. I realized he was going to come home soon,
Speaker 1: so I did not dare open the box again. I
Speaker 1: put it back and I left. And when I was
Speaker 1: leaving and then coming back in, he was coming back
Speaker 1: in as well. So we kind of entered the house
Speaker 1: together and he thought I was just getting back. So
Speaker 1: we get upstairs and I, you know, pretended to see
Speaker 1: the ring box. Were not the ring box. It was
Speaker 1: just a white box for the first time, and I
Speaker 1: was like, what's that and he said oh, and he
Speaker 1: grabbed it and he said, supergirl. I won't say her
Speaker 1: real name, his daughter. She's always leaving stuff in the room.
Speaker 1: He pretended like it was a regular box and threw
Speaker 1: it in the garbage and I was like.
Speaker 2: Why that was a little muney doing the most mandy.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: He's like, well, this is invaluable. I'm throwing it away.
Speaker 1: So I go upstairs. I go outstairs to get something
Speaker 1: to drink. I guess I was like, let me give
Speaker 1: him a chance to collect himself come back out. And
Speaker 1: I realized, like, okay, I looked at the white box
Speaker 1: later and it was empty. So he took out the
Speaker 1: ring from the white box and seems, you know, because
Speaker 1: Supergirl is always leaving, like she's always getting like stuff
Speaker 1: from Claire's and stuff, so it wasn't a crazy story.
Speaker 1: And so then I waited and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: my birthday's come in now, y'all. I know, like, if
Speaker 1: you are a BA listener, you know that I've already
Speaker 1: claimed that on my birthday October sixteenth, which is just
Speaker 1: a couple of days ago, that's when my engagement was
Speaker 1: going to happen heapily. So Supergirl's birthday was October first,
Speaker 1: and my friends came and my best friend Drina came,
Speaker 1: and Drina said, let me be cause I was like, Drina,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if I liked the ring. I didn't
Speaker 1: get a good look at it, but I think I
Speaker 1: don't like it. And she was like, girl, it's too late,
Speaker 1: too late. You had all the time to get put
Speaker 1: your order in and you did not. And now I'm like,
Speaker 1: but I'm not sure, and she's like, I'll take a
Speaker 1: look out. Let me speak to him, let me see
Speaker 1: like where he's at with this, and so she, I guess,
Speaker 1: like you know, pulled him to the side at Supergrowth
Speaker 1: birthday party and they had a chat and she was
Speaker 1: just like, so, when are you gonna make an official
Speaker 1: with my bestie? And he was like, oh, I got
Speaker 1: a rent, got the ring? Do you want to see it?
Speaker 1: This is what she's telling me later after the engagement
Speaker 1: has already gone through. Do you want to see it?
Speaker 1: And she tells him yes, and she said, you know,
Speaker 1: he showed her. She loved it. She's very particular. She's like,
Speaker 1: she loved it.
Speaker 2: He had it in his pocket at the party.
Speaker 1: Yes, he was going to ask me at her party.
Speaker 1: And she was like, if you ask her at Supergrowth birthday.
Speaker 2: Party, now you've done that, I forgive you. She came
Speaker 2: to the rescue on that one. That's that's like she's
Speaker 2: almost as bad as asking at someone else's wedding exactly.
Speaker 1: And so she was like do not. He was like really,
Speaker 1: And cause she told him, don't ask on Tippany's birthday
Speaker 1: because Nosey Wolsey just knows she's going to get engaged
Speaker 1: on her birthday. Don't do it. Do it as a
Speaker 1: complete surprise. You pick whatevery day, not today. And so
Speaker 1: when I asked her later, like so what happened, she
Speaker 1: was like girl, I don't know. I didn't get to
Speaker 1: really chance to get a chance to speak with him,
Speaker 1: so she kept it as a surprise for me too,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh great, So I already had
Speaker 1: in my mind that was gonna happen on my birthday.
Speaker 1: And I was leaving for Paris on the fourth a
Speaker 1: few days later, because I always take myself on the
Speaker 1: epic birthday trip and this year, I took it a
Speaker 1: whole week earlier because I'm gonna get asked my birthday.
Speaker 1: You see how I am just concume, just.
Speaker 2: Left a window for your birthday. Yes, the day you
Speaker 2: were so sure.
Speaker 1: Literally planned the whole trip around the fact that I'm getting.
Speaker 2: My ring on my birthday, So you were real sure
Speaker 2: of yourself that day.
Speaker 1: He had such an attitude, like I was packing and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what is his problem? He had such like this weird attitude.
Speaker 1: My best friend Linda came just to like my other
Speaker 1: best friend Linda came to see me off, just to
Speaker 1: say bye, and like, I didn't know you just acting weird.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that he was waiting for his moment. Yes,
Speaker 1: And I was like, what is his problem? Is it?
Speaker 1: Because I'm leaving I'm always traveling. I'm always leaving a mess.
Speaker 1: Like whenever I travel, I like throw everything out, like
Speaker 1: on the couches and everything, and I pick what I
Speaker 1: need and then I leave everything. That's just my way.
Speaker 1: I was like, is he mad about the mess? I
Speaker 1: always leave a mess. So he's taking me to my
Speaker 1: friend Madeline's house, who I'm traveling with, and we're waiting
Speaker 1: for the uber to take us to JFK and he's like,
Speaker 1: so you're gonna go to Paris with all the John
Speaker 1: Paul's and Pierre's and Jean Luke's And I was just
Speaker 1: like what. By then, I was just annoyed because I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know what, you have an attitude. I don't even
Speaker 1: want to deal. And he was just like, are you
Speaker 1: gonna come back? And I said, I'm feel bad about
Speaker 1: it now, I said maybe not not with this attitude
Speaker 1: you have. I'm being so fien like, so you're not
Speaker 1: gonna come back? I said now? And I said, well,
Speaker 1: of course I'm gonna come back. I live here, you know,
Speaker 1: like no, no, no. By then I was so annoyed
Speaker 1: because I'm like, what is this deal? And then like
Speaker 1: I'm about to walk away and he grabbed my hand
Speaker 1: and he was like, babe, you know I want you
Speaker 1: to come back. I said, well, okay, you know, and
Speaker 1: he said no because and then he just starts stuttering,
Speaker 1: which is not like him, because when you come back,
Speaker 1: you know, I want you to be my wife, you know,
Speaker 1: so be cause yeah. I'm like and I'm thinking he's
Speaker 1: just saying in general because we always talk about marriage,
Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, yeah, and he says no,
Speaker 1: and he reaches into his pocket and like shows the
Speaker 1: ring box, and I thought that he was like saying,
Speaker 1: when you get back, I have a ring for you.
Speaker 1: And I was thinking to myself, this is not romantic.
Speaker 1: This is not how he's doing. And then I went
Speaker 1: to walk away, like really, do that's the ring box?
Speaker 1: And then I realized, wait, is it happening? So he
Speaker 1: gets that on one need, I'm like wait, I'm in
Speaker 1: my sweat.
Speaker 2: Wait, this is so painful and awesome because you were
Speaker 2: still so sure that you were right up until the moment.
Speaker 2: Even when he pulled out the box. You're like, no,
Speaker 2: but you're behind. You're like ahead of schedules next week.
Speaker 1: I don't like to hear my friend Madeline saying are
Speaker 1: you kidding gays, and she's like with her, with her
Speaker 1: like with her cell phone, try to capture it all.
Speaker 1: And the it was night because our flight was at
Speaker 1: eleven thirty at night, trying to capture it all. And
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, wait all all I hear myself
Speaker 1: saying is wait wait wait. He's like he doesn't even
Speaker 1: know what this. He's on one knee, like the happiest
Speaker 1: man in the world.
Speaker 2: That's cool, hard concrete, I know.
Speaker 1: I said yes, and then I cried, and then we
Speaker 1: kissed and then we hugged, and I was just like
Speaker 1: and then I looked at the ring for the first
Speaker 1: time and I was like, I do really love it.
Speaker 1: It's literally so perfectly me. And I was just like, wow,
Speaker 1: I love it. All that stress, all of that like angst,
Speaker 1: and since then it's just been really great. I mean,
Speaker 1: outside of everybody pressuring us about what day, what time, when,
Speaker 1: when babies?
Speaker 2: You know, oh my god, yeah yeah you're going now, yeah,
Speaker 2: enjoy enjoy.
Speaker 1: I know. I was just like, he's like, he's like,
Speaker 1: I almost regret posting it on social media just to
Speaker 1: let people know, he said, because my phone has been
Speaker 1: ringing off the hook, and his soul Supergirl was like
Speaker 1: not too happy because she felt like she should have
Speaker 1: been there directing, directing the She was like, but I
Speaker 1: was in the car. Why didn't you call me? I
Speaker 1: wanted to see.
Speaker 2: Oh she Oh yeah, I would have been cute. It
Speaker 2: sounds like, but in the end it sounds really sweet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was really. Honestly, it was perfect and it
Speaker 1: was perfectly us and it was just nice. He's just like,
Speaker 1: you know, you're going to the City of Love and
Speaker 1: I want you to go knowing that someone loves you
Speaker 1: and wants you to be his wife, and I just yeah,
Speaker 1: So it's just been great, honestly, Like he's really like
Speaker 1: my match. I mean, if I had to draw out
Speaker 1: on paper personality wise and stuff like you know what
Speaker 1: the type of man that not only do I want,
Speaker 1: but do I need? You know, as far as like
Speaker 1: being able to deal with me and all of mine,
Speaker 1: like so on my birthday, my ring, like all of that.
Speaker 2: It sounds like a saint. You're about to You're about
Speaker 2: to hop in the uber and be like, I don't
Speaker 2: want to not with that ads.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: Poor guys, like what.
Speaker 1: You know, the Uper drivers are only supposed to wait
Speaker 1: a minute or two so I was like, oh, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, I saw you a little busy because
Speaker 1: it was like in the light of the uber car,
Speaker 1: the uber.
Speaker 2: Head like mee uber drivers see. It was nice that
Speaker 2: you had witnesses.
Speaker 1: It was so yeah. So that's incing. And the ring.
Speaker 2: You didn't see the ring in the context of the
Speaker 2: man you love, you know, holding it in front of you.
Speaker 2: Originally it's different. It's just a ring on a countertop.
Speaker 1: You know, exactly, versus like, you know, really just being
Speaker 1: like because it's very clear just from the ring that
Speaker 1: what he picked out, it's just so perfectly me. It's
Speaker 1: just simple. It's just one stone, and because I don't
Speaker 1: even really wear jewelry quite honestly, and so it's just
Speaker 1: it's just me when you know, when I see it
Speaker 1: time I look at it, I think to myself, it
Speaker 1: was so weird being in France, like with an on, Like,
Speaker 1: was it weird when you first put it on that
Speaker 1: You're just like, what's this thing on my hand?
Speaker 2: What I can tell you is that today I forgot
Speaker 2: it at home because I take it off when I
Speaker 2: do my hair because there's so much gook on my hands,
Speaker 2: you know, and I forgot it at home and all
Speaker 2: day like a dork, I kept like trying to go
Speaker 2: play with it and it wasn't there, and I had
Speaker 2: like this quick like a miniature little panic attack, where's
Speaker 2: the ring? Because the first place, the first time you
Speaker 2: misplace it, you'll like lose your mind and like that
Speaker 2: always that fear is always with me. But it's weird.
Speaker 2: It's gotten to a point where, yeah, it's when I
Speaker 2: don't have it on it, it feels like there should
Speaker 2: be something there, which is just bizarre.
Speaker 1: It just feels weird to think like I mean, because
Speaker 1: you know, we lived together, so I didn't think anything
Speaker 1: of it because not like life has changed. But then
Speaker 1: just like recently, I was thinking, like, yo, Superman is
Speaker 1: gonna be my husband, like my husband, not my boyfriend,
Speaker 1: not the boyfriend I lived with, Like I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: a husband, Like when did I become an adult?
Speaker 2: You know, wait before I did. If you don't have
Speaker 2: it together, I know, it doesn't hope For me.
Speaker 1: It just feels I mean, you know, it feels right,
Speaker 1: and it feels good, but it just feels so so
Speaker 1: so adults, Like you know, there are moments in the life.
Speaker 2: I know what you're talking about for sure.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like when you pay taxes for the
Speaker 1: first time, or like when you you know, you do
Speaker 1: something like really responsible, like make your first dentists appointment
Speaker 1: without your mom.
Speaker 2: You know, you're like, it kind of feels like when
Speaker 2: you know they did the rug Rats all growed up. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so that's how I felt like I went to this.
Speaker 2: I've been to three weddings this fall, three weddings in
Speaker 2: one month, month and a half. We just went to
Speaker 2: a wedding this weekend. My college friend Julie got married.
Speaker 2: And yeah, you're like, you're sitting in the all it
Speaker 2: just feels like we're all playing dress up, like we're
Speaker 2: all adults today. We're all doing our hair and makeup
Speaker 2: and we're gonna go watch our friends get married. But
Speaker 2: it's like they're on the playground and it's doesn't it
Speaker 2: doesn't feel real. It feels like we are wearing like
Speaker 2: adult costumes and underneath were just all little babies.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I still feel like that, and because there's still
Speaker 1: adult conversations like like, Prena, do we do that? Do
Speaker 1: people do that? Do regular people do that? Just like
Speaker 1: even I didn't even you know, we didn't even talk
Speaker 1: about wedding dates, and I was just like, well, what
Speaker 1: just just recently, like he and I are both so
Speaker 1: like chill when it comes to that part. And I
Speaker 1: was just like, cause, honestly, I don't really want like
Speaker 1: a like a wedding wedding. I mean, truthfully, we could
Speaker 1: go to Justice of the Piece and tonight and be
Speaker 1: done with it. But at the same time, I feel
Speaker 1: like he, you know, kind of wants a wedding. So
Speaker 1: I'm definitely open to that's how it's done. I don't
Speaker 1: I don't want You're going.
Speaker 2: To be a client feld within two months. I guarantee
Speaker 2: you're going to be saying yes to something that's too yep.
Speaker 1: And I'm just like ah, So it's just like these things.
Speaker 1: And then my dad called. I mean, of course I
Speaker 1: call all my sisters and my parents and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: and so there's like traditional Nigerian things that like my
Speaker 1: dad wants him to do, and I'm.
Speaker 2: Like, well, oh, I've been to a Nigerian wedding.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, yeah, we're we're there. He's going to get
Speaker 1: one thing, and so I have to go meet with
Speaker 1: my dad and to have like a pre chat of
Speaker 1: like well, this like, what, tell me the list of
Speaker 1: Nigerian things that are part of part equal culture, and
Speaker 1: we will make a list of the things that I think,
Speaker 1: you know, and bring them. I'll bring it back to
Speaker 1: Jurell because honestly, I don't even want all of everything.
Speaker 1: I mean, I know some people are like, no, it's
Speaker 1: part of your culture. Yeah it is, but I would
Speaker 1: like to keep it as simple as possible. So I
Speaker 1: want to look at that list of kind of things
Speaker 1: and say yes to these and no to this, and
Speaker 1: so that we we're both really comfortable because you know,
Speaker 1: he's not Nigerian and that's fine, you know. And so yeah,
Speaker 1: so there's just like little things like that that definitely
Speaker 1: were like instant stress, you know. And then people just
Speaker 1: hitting me up on social media saying I'd love to
Speaker 1: design your dress, so I'd love to do your hair
Speaker 1: and makeup, and I'd love to you know, it sounds great.
Speaker 1: It is nice that people have offered, but it was
Speaker 1: just so much that it was overwhelming, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well you just have to take a step back
Speaker 2: and just enjoy being engaged. And that's what it's just about,
Speaker 2: you two. You know, those people aren't going to be
Speaker 2: there when you guys are, you know, on your fifth
Speaker 2: year together and you're fighting over what movie you're going
Speaker 2: to watch, you like hate each other, like they're not
Speaker 2: going to be there, then.
Speaker 1: You know, I know, so I just and that's what
Speaker 1: I felt like, I'm not gonna lie so like in France,
Speaker 1: in Paris, I got to enjoy that. But when I
Speaker 1: got home, when I actually announced it publicly, like then
Speaker 1: I felt like, oh gosh, so many people. I felt
Speaker 1: like it wasn't as enjoyable, not because of him, but
Speaker 1: just because it's like outside kind of like influence, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, so but now it's kind of settled
Speaker 1: down a little bit now that I've kind of like
Speaker 1: it's kind of out, you know, Okay, that's good somebody actually,
Speaker 1: because we didn't tag each other on purpose on social media,
Speaker 1: just because like I'll give you an example, I posted
Speaker 1: the fact that I was engaged in the DreamCatcher group
Speaker 1: and ten thousand likes, and so I didn't want to
Speaker 1: tag him because I just didn't want the curious eyes
Speaker 1: all on his page look through his picture, you know,
Speaker 1: And so I told him even when he even when
Speaker 1: he you know, put it on his page, I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, you don't have to tag me. I just don't.
Speaker 1: That's an extra added element of stalkerism from like exes
Speaker 1: and all that kind of stuff. And so many people
Speaker 1: hit me up and they're like, so I see that
Speaker 1: Superman said he's engaged. Did he ask you? So many
Speaker 1: people were like unsure whether or not it was me.
Speaker 1: Was like, yes, yes, yes, it was me, Like ooh girl,
Speaker 1: because I was like, wow, that would be awkward.
Speaker 2: Either I'm really excited or I'm really sad for you.
Speaker 1: I know. It was weird for the exes to reach
Speaker 1: out congratulations like I'm my page and on my wall.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, okay.
Speaker 2: Speaking of adulthood. Yep, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: That was my But my birthday was good, like we
Speaker 1: went to it was nice, no pressure. We went to
Speaker 1: go see Aladdin, which was awesome. It was a surprise.
Speaker 1: It was so good. Honestly, it was on part with
Speaker 1: with Lion King last year.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie, I might have enjoyed a lotten
Speaker 2: more than Lion King.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2: Want to say it was more fun, you know, it's
Speaker 2: just no one's father died in a stampede. It was
Speaker 2: just like more enjoyable and the genie was amazing.
Speaker 1: The genie was amazing. I just even he enjoyed it more.
Speaker 1: I was like, you said that was a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: I'm like, it was right, you.
Speaker 2: So much fun. I just grew like a stupid idiot
Speaker 2: the whole time. Yep, I don't want to go see again. Actually,
Speaker 2: matter of fact, I just might go seed again. Well, congratulations,
Speaker 2: big congratulations, Thank you for everybody can't wait to pesture
Speaker 2: you about all your wedding details. Take him a spotlight off?
Speaker 1: Yeah, how was London in the Cursed? What is the
Speaker 1: Harry Potter and the Child?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Speaking of Broadway nerds, So my little brother and
Speaker 2: I I've never gone, and also speaking of being an
Speaker 2: adult and feeling like how did we get to this point?
Speaker 2: My younger brother and I, who I swear to God,
Speaker 2: was just like four years old yesterday is a grown
Speaker 2: man and we planned last year to on a whim.
Speaker 2: There's this Harry Potter play coming out in the UK.
Speaker 2: He and I are huge fat Harry Potter nerds. It
Speaker 2: was like the one thing that bonded us as children.
Speaker 2: We watched we read all the books like crazy people
Speaker 2: who watched all the movies, and when this play was
Speaker 2: coming out, I was like, we gotta go, we gotta
Speaker 2: go to London, and so a year ago I bought
Speaker 2: the tickets and then it was just sort of a
Speaker 2: waiting game and we actually, you know, we really followed through.
Speaker 2: We booked the flights, we booked this brother sister trip
Speaker 2: and it was I mean, it was it was like
Speaker 2: far exceeded my expectations. Like I loved I've never traveled
Speaker 2: with my little brother before. He's he's something age differences,
Speaker 2: like four and a half years. So when we were
Speaker 2: when we were kids, it was enough to like make
Speaker 2: us mortal enemies, but at scrown ups, it's just fun.
Speaker 2: Like he's just a cool dude.
Speaker 1: You know, he looks like Drake. That doesn't hurt hurt.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he looks like Drake.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know he doesn't get that at all. Ever,
Speaker 2: yes he does. Even in the UK he got a
Speaker 2: little bit. But uh yeah. The play itself was I mean,
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna boy with with the details. It was
Speaker 2: a five hour play in two parts, so we were
Speaker 2: basically out at the theater from for eight hours in
Speaker 2: total with breaks and stuff. It was it was intense
Speaker 2: and very nerdy, and yeah, that's about it, all all
Speaker 2: boring with un details. But other than that, like, I
Speaker 2: love London. We got we got so lucky. We had
Speaker 2: amazing weather, people were really nice to us. I know
Speaker 2: you didn't like it, but yeah, I just think it
Speaker 2: was the fact that we went there with a specific
Speaker 2: event we were going to, and as long as that
Speaker 2: event went well, then everything else was just icing.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: We did like the Harry Potter studio tour, and we
Speaker 2: saw all the side and we just ate really good
Speaker 2: food and I mean, I couldn't have asked for a
Speaker 2: better time. It was like, but yeah, it was trippy
Speaker 2: traveling with my with my baby brother, it was, but
Speaker 2: it was good. It's the kind of thing I hope
Speaker 2: we can do, you know, even when we get older
Speaker 2: and life gets more complicated and everyone's like, what your
Speaker 2: fiancee didn't go And I'm like, no, it's okay. You
Speaker 2: don't have to travel with Bee all the time. They
Speaker 2: can stay home sometimes. Also, Bee is not into Harry Potter,
Speaker 2: so he wouldn't have understand. He would have hated his life.
Speaker 1: I'm actually good on that thing.
Speaker 2: I'm good. Yeah, But what else has been happening in
Speaker 2: the world in the last two weeks. So Solanja's new
Speaker 2: album came out, everyone lost their damn minds.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say that although I.
Speaker 2: Liked it, he weren't gonna like it.
Speaker 1: You knew, said you knew I wasn't gonna like it,
Speaker 1: even though you.
Speaker 2: Just said although I liked it, you didn't like. Tell
Speaker 2: the truth.
Speaker 1: I mean it, I don't. I guess you know what
Speaker 1: it is. I'm sorry because I know all the soul
Speaker 1: systems are like Tiffany, don't do it. Okay, So I
Speaker 1: said I did not hate it. I did not. I
Speaker 1: did like it, but I was expecting to roll my
Speaker 1: body in it, love it, slide against the wall, and
Speaker 1: I didn't get that. And I know I have to
Speaker 1: sit and listen, like really to the lyrics really closely,
Speaker 1: and I'm sure because some albums really grow on me.
Speaker 1: But I listened to it about three times all the
Speaker 1: way through, and I was like, Okay, I like it,
Speaker 1: but you know, because everyone was like, it's everything. It
Speaker 1: is the blood of Jesus's Man of Bread, it is life,
Speaker 1: it is death, it is everything in between. And I
Speaker 1: was just like, I mean, I liked it, but it's
Speaker 1: not like, you know, I don't know. I think.
Speaker 2: I think the album it's one of those albums. It's
Speaker 2: not like Lemonade, Like it's not going to immediately pull
Speaker 2: you in and give you this like visceral you know,
Speaker 2: physical reaction to the music and be instantly catchy and poppy.
Speaker 2: Because although that album was like really intense, I mean,
Speaker 2: it still had really catchy lyrics and catchy R and
Speaker 2: B and pop like hip hop beats and stuff. So
Speaker 2: Long is just like pure R and B soul and
Speaker 2: kind of folky like on a different level. So yeah,
Speaker 2: it is the kind of music where you have to
Speaker 2: kind of like sit with it and like really get
Speaker 2: deep in your feelings and take time, which I kind
Speaker 2: of like about it because it's not you know how,
Speaker 2: when's the last time I took time and listened to
Speaker 2: an album when I wasn't doing a million other things
Speaker 2: at the same time.
Speaker 1: No, No, true, And I feel like that that it is.
Speaker 1: That's why I said, I'm like, it reminds me kind
Speaker 1: of like because like, I love Blau He's like one
Speaker 1: of my favorites, but he's not one of those albums
Speaker 1: that you listen to, you like for the most part,
Speaker 1: and you're like, yes, get it. It really is like
Speaker 1: this sit you really listen, listening to the lyrics, feeling it,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I haven't really had a chance
Speaker 1: to sit with it in that kind of way, in
Speaker 1: this kind of meditative state. So som like I said,
Speaker 1: I didn't hate it, but I just it was not like,
Speaker 1: you know, it was not Coco Butter for my ash.
Speaker 2: I think a lot of the messages people were just
Speaker 2: hungry for or they're hungry for an artist. You know,
Speaker 2: people give Beyonce a lot of flak for not speaking
Speaker 2: out on Black Lives Matter and all these issues that
Speaker 2: have come out, and Lemonade was sort of a couple
Speaker 2: of the songs in Lemonade were sort of an answer
Speaker 2: to that. But you know, I feel like Solanges was
Speaker 2: just like purely you know, addressing these issues, talking about
Speaker 2: about brutality, talking about inequality. She had these great you
Speaker 2: know that great was it an intro or an outro
Speaker 2: where her mom is talking about Miss Tina Knowles was
Speaker 2: talking about, you know, loving being a black woman and
Speaker 2: you know, not understanding when people not understanding, when people
Speaker 2: don't want to celebrate or when people misinterpret a celebration
Speaker 2: of blackness as a yeah, anti white sentiment or something
Speaker 2: like that. I love and I feel like Cranes. So
Speaker 2: Cranes was a song that everyone just like lost their
Speaker 2: shit over.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: Cranes is the song where it's like she tried to
Speaker 2: drink it alway. Sorry, I'm really messing, but she's She's
Speaker 2: talking about trying to drink away her pain, sex away
Speaker 2: her pain, spend away her pain. And she actually wrote
Speaker 2: the song eight years ago. I read that she I
Speaker 2: read an article or she posted on a Instagram or something.
Speaker 2: She wrote it eight years ago, which predates all this.
Speaker 2: I think black lives black lives matter movement, and it's
Speaker 2: just she pulled it out and made it. It's so
Speaker 2: relevant for I feel like today's issues. But when you
Speaker 2: really look at the what the song is, I think
Speaker 2: it could apply to any situation where you're going through
Speaker 2: like an emotional struggle and you do everything in your
Speaker 2: power to try and bury it. You know, you do
Speaker 2: try and go to the mall, make yourself feel better,
Speaker 2: have a cocktail, make yourself feel better, you know, find
Speaker 2: yourselves in the arms of someone who's not worth your
Speaker 2: time trying to make yourself feel better. I think it's
Speaker 2: just it's kind of like if this album had come
Speaker 2: at any other time, if she had released it eight
Speaker 2: years ago, I don't think it would have had agreed
Speaker 2: the impact that it has now but today, and I
Speaker 2: feel like her timing is amazing, you know, number one album, Yeah, and.
Speaker 1: You know it just it's just nice too that Solange,
Speaker 1: because you know, Beyonce is like, you know, the the
Speaker 1: one that people celebrate most when it comes to a
Speaker 1: duo of them. But I just think it's nice that Solange.
Speaker 2: You know, she could have been crazy. Come on, Beyonce's
Speaker 2: little sister had every right to be insane. And she's amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So yeah, I mean, I mean, speaking of you know,
Speaker 1: black women being by, I mean, did you check out
Speaker 1: our first lady on the cover was a New York Times.
Speaker 2: It just it just came out today, and yeah, that
Speaker 2: was like one of my top things I wanted to
Speaker 2: talk about, Oh Times on the start, what is it
Speaker 2: the magazine? It's the magazine, right but you can see
Speaker 2: it online right now.
Speaker 1: I mean honestly it honestly, if you don't think Michelle
Speaker 1: Obama is like just so classically beautiful, yeah, she might
Speaker 1: not be like a just I can't even say that.
Speaker 1: She looks so beautiful. I was like, look at miss Ship. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, missus Obama. Let me not be disrespectful because
Speaker 1: she is salalaying, I mean ptograss. Yeah, she just took
Speaker 1: everyone's edges and used them to wipe the bottom of
Speaker 1: her shoe and then gave it disrespectfully.
Speaker 2: Well, I think it's a talented for talking. I mean,
Speaker 2: those those types of photo shoots. I've been on a
Speaker 2: couple of those. They're very difficult. I mean, and if
Speaker 2: you've ever been like, if you ever even had headshots taken,
Speaker 2: it's really awkward.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: It takes a lot for a photographer to get the
Speaker 2: kind of images that really exposed like the truth of
Speaker 2: what someone is. And you can see these photos of Michelle.
Speaker 2: They're all close up, black and white images. She looks
Speaker 2: every every adjective you've ever used to describe Michelle, soft, elegant, powerful, intelligent.
Speaker 1: Beautiful, gorge careful, you.
Speaker 2: Just everything of course in the beauty too, but everything
Speaker 2: just sort of came out. It was It's just it
Speaker 2: was almost like a celebration and of the complexity of
Speaker 2: Michelle and the fact that and you know, I've read
Speaker 2: all the essays and what. So basically the cover story
Speaker 2: is a group of four essays written by a couple
Speaker 2: of well, four prominent figures in literature. Well I don't
Speaker 2: know if well, okay, so Glorious dynam is one feminist icon.
Speaker 2: Chimamanda Ago, she can I say that wrong? Okay? She
Speaker 2: was another, and then Rashida Jones, the actress, and then
Speaker 2: the guy, the last guy, John Meacham, He's a Pulitzer
Speaker 2: Prize winning writer. But they were all sort of essay
Speaker 2: essays reflecting on Michelle and I think they all celebrated
Speaker 2: the complexity of her and like how a lot of
Speaker 2: people in America haven't allowed her to be complex, Like
Speaker 2: haven't allowed her to be strong but then also soft
Speaker 2: and funny, but then also serious and intelligent, but then
Speaker 2: you know, self deprecating, and she's she's sort of been
Speaker 2: and handled it so well, all this you know, bias
Speaker 2: in the media, and like all these stereotypes and some
Speaker 2: thinly veiled and some not so thinly veiled criticisms racial
Speaker 2: criticisms against her and the way she handles herself and
Speaker 2: just it was just like, look at this woman and
Speaker 2: how She's emerged over the last eight years unscathed.
Speaker 1: Which is so crazy because I mean, honestly, like the
Speaker 1: way the media and just people in general have I mean,
Speaker 1: people who are not Michelle Obama fans have treated her.
Speaker 1: It's just it's crazy because when you think about it,
Speaker 1: I mean, you have never seen her slip eight years.
Speaker 1: I mean you would have caught like a neck roll
Speaker 1: at some point, like you know what, you know, one
Speaker 1: of those like it's funny, how that is never you know,
Speaker 1: that's like, oh, and as much as they have pushed
Speaker 1: it to the brain because you know, they act as
Speaker 1: if black women, as if black women can't be complex
Speaker 1: creatures like that. I can't be ratchet but sophisticated. I
Speaker 1: can't be like if I express that I'm frustrated. Oh
Speaker 1: she's angry, I'm like, no, girl, like you, you were rude.
Speaker 1: I'm allowed to feel and say you're rude and still
Speaker 1: be smiling and kind and yeah. I just literally unscathed,
Speaker 1: which is just remarkable, and it just speaks to her
Speaker 1: character and the way she carries herself. I mean, she
Speaker 1: is an amazing example for women across the board of
Speaker 1: just had to cat yourself in.
Speaker 2: All women women don't have to be black to respect Michelle.
Speaker 2: And I think that's you know, it's sad to say,
Speaker 2: but that's a huge achievement. I thought Shemamanda's essay was
Speaker 2: one of the most striking because she mentions how she's
Speaker 2: holding Chimamanda's kind of writing about herself watching Michelle's first
Speaker 2: speech at the Democratic National Convention and then watching the
Speaker 2: last speech Michelle just gave this past summer and like
Speaker 2: holding her breath because even though she knows the complexity
Speaker 2: of Michelle and how much she deserves to be respected,
Speaker 2: she knows that if Michelle even slips once, people will
Speaker 2: launch on it, and people will be waiting for her
Speaker 2: to trip up because they don't want to see an
Speaker 2: African American woman in such a high place of power
Speaker 2: in our country. And I think that's just a good
Speaker 2: representation of you know, And that's just a small sliver
Speaker 2: of the pressure that must have been on her shoulders
Speaker 2: all this time, and god, I would have missed them
Speaker 2: so much. It's not there. This election is a hot
Speaker 2: damn mess.
Speaker 1: You see a hot damn mess. Honestly, I'm just like,
Speaker 1: did you just just a little aside, did you see
Speaker 1: the video clip when Donald Trump leaned in, He leaned
Speaker 1: then hung his daughter Tiffany.
Speaker 2: No, I haven't. I try not to watch too much.
Speaker 1: It is kind of like the teacher in me is
Speaker 1: like wants to pull aside her, like pull her aside
Speaker 1: like a little girl and say, is everything okay? Is
Speaker 1: that he touching me? Yes? He leans in to give
Speaker 1: her a hug, and it is so like she just
Speaker 1: like you know, jerks back and like, you know, makes
Speaker 1: it like it wasn't even like you know, like how
Speaker 1: someone kind of like reaches for you and your initial
Speaker 1: reaction is to jerks oh, but then you lean on in. No,
Speaker 1: she jerks back, and she continues to like you know, uh,
Speaker 1: matrix her way around and then pats him on the
Speaker 1: arm like yeah, And I was like, what is happening?
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: And then you know, I feel for his daughters. How
Speaker 2: can you be a woman and how to support that?
Speaker 2: I did love snl this swing and you haven't watched it.
Speaker 2: Did a did a spoof of Beyonce's Lemon or Beyonce
Speaker 2: song with Milania Trump instead. It's called Malania Aid. No,
Speaker 2: Milania Aid. It's freaking hilarious. Yeah, it's cameos by Alma Rosa,
Speaker 2: by his daughter Tiffany, by Ivanka, and by his poor
Speaker 2: campaign spoke woman. Yeah, if we can. If you want
Speaker 2: to move into brown breaks and boosts, I actually have
Speaker 2: an election themed.
Speaker 1: Okay, definitely. I well, I have won my I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take a brown break from domestic violence. Okay, I did
Speaker 1: not watch it. I will not watch Surviving Compton. Have
Speaker 1: you heard of that? Andy?
Speaker 2: I have? But what is it?
Speaker 1: So? I actually watched, Uh, what is the what was
Speaker 1: the original movie? Like the Compton maidn't know what is
Speaker 1: the movie that straight out of Compton? Straight out of Compton.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm the eighty year old woman brain, so
Speaker 1: straight at Compton was this great movie about It was
Speaker 1: really well done about the raw and just fall I
Speaker 1: guess of NWA, not really the fall of it, but
Speaker 1: kind of like doctor Dre Eze ice Cube, like all
Speaker 1: of them, and kind of like West Coast Rat and
Speaker 1: kind of like what that story is behind it. It was
Speaker 1: really well done and I think, you know, so it
Speaker 1: was actually a really good movie. I saw it, so
Speaker 1: apparently I did not know this. But doctor Dre at
Speaker 1: the time, I don't know if he was married to her,
Speaker 1: but he had children with her. This she was one
Speaker 1: of the early hip hop kind of like she was
Speaker 1: like the early Mary J. Blige. Her name is Michelle A.
Speaker 1: And she was with doctor Drake kind of during that time.
Speaker 1: They were both really young. She was about nineteen and
Speaker 1: he was about twenty five. But the level of abuse
Speaker 1: that he leveled against this young woman, from shooting at her,
Speaker 1: to beating her in her sleep, to hitting her so
Speaker 1: hard knocking her brain loose, it.
Speaker 2: Was freaking her brain.
Speaker 1: Yes, hitting her that hard. I mean he of course
Speaker 1: was suing for a lifetime in her for them not
Speaker 1: to show the biopics.
Speaker 2: Because it's a lifetime movie Surviving Compton. Oh so it's
Speaker 2: it's the woman, it's his excess story.
Speaker 1: Like she was not in She was not featured in
Speaker 1: in the movie, even though they have children together. He
Speaker 1: was with her, so but she was just cut out
Speaker 1: of that history. And so she was like, well, I'm
Speaker 1: going to tell my story with about Dre Shooge Knight.
Speaker 2: Good for her? What is that good for her?
Speaker 1: Yeah? And it was from like the clips that I've
Speaker 1: seen and like just like my friends and stuff posting
Speaker 1: about it and reading because a woman named she used
Speaker 1: to call herself a bell in Brooklyn. But Demetria o'doyley, o'doyle,
Speaker 1: I think o'doley she she did kind of a recap
Speaker 1: and it's just like just the level. I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: you hear of abuse, and there are levels. And every
Speaker 1: woman who had watched the movie, like Demetria would would
Speaker 1: would check in and say, wait did he just And
Speaker 1: then a woman would say just wait, keep watching, and
Speaker 1: she would come back and be like, wait did he
Speaker 1: just Someone would say again, just wait, keep watching. It
Speaker 1: it escalated to levels that like are unheard of, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, what kind of people were just like it
Speaker 1: was beyond like you know, people were just like doctor Dre,
Speaker 1: you're a monster. It just that's I mean. I went
Speaker 1: on Twitter later to kind of see like what people
Speaker 1: were saying, and people were like, wow, sir, if even
Speaker 1: half of this is true, you are literally a sociopath,
Speaker 1: a psychopath, and a monster.
Speaker 2: I remember one I remember when Strada A Compton came out.
Speaker 2: People were saying like they were yelling and because it
Speaker 2: overlooked all that you know, abuse and stuff, but I yeah,
Speaker 2: I didn't know how bad it was.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so I'm just taking a Bronla, you know,
Speaker 1: because it's so crazy because he apologized for the abuse
Speaker 1: at one point, but then when the movie was coming out,
Speaker 1: he was like, oh, it's all a lie. And I'm like, sir,
Speaker 1: we have you on tape apologizing for the abuse. Not
Speaker 1: that that erased it, but now that it's just don't
Speaker 1: want people to realize just how depray indifferent that you
Speaker 1: were to the mother of your children, and how at
Speaker 1: one point she tried to kill herself but she failed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just you just wonder, like what kind of person.
Speaker 1: And so I just said, I'm, you know, taking a
Speaker 1: brown break from like just if you are, I mean,
Speaker 1: and maybe we can find like a link or something
Speaker 1: I was gonna say.
Speaker 2: You know with I guess that the one of the
Speaker 2: few silver linings with all this Trump controversy. So the
Speaker 2: last two weeks, of course you all heard about the
Speaker 2: just you know, just heinous comments Trump made about sexually
Speaker 2: assaulting women, bragging about it. I was reading in The Times.
Speaker 2: One of the silver linings is that the number of
Speaker 2: calls to the National Sexual Abuse and Rape Assault Line
Speaker 2: hotline HATH increased from like six hundred a month, like
Speaker 2: to eight hundred and more a month now, So it
Speaker 2: seems like people are talking more about sexual assaultments like
Speaker 2: empowering more people to come out and talk about it.
Speaker 2: So I mean, I hope. I guess the movie and
Speaker 2: you know, I guess the one silver lining is maybe
Speaker 2: it'll encourage more women to get out of those situations.
Speaker 1: Because I think that because of the general outrage over
Speaker 1: you know what, what he who shall not be named
Speaker 1: said is that it gave women who probably went through it, like,
Speaker 1: oh so people people think this is bad. Okay, you know.
Speaker 2: I'm not alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it's hard, and
Speaker 2: you know what, it's it's really hard. You know. One
Speaker 2: of the things we talked about before was having an
Speaker 2: f you fund. That f you fund is that so
Speaker 2: you can remove yourself from whatever situation that is not
Speaker 2: good for you. You know, money is power in a
Speaker 2: lot of ways, and it's it's you know, and even
Speaker 2: if you think you have money and your family and
Speaker 2: you're doing well, you know, if it look really, who
Speaker 2: has the control of the money? Do you have control
Speaker 2: of the money? Do you is your nay? Your name
Speaker 2: on the credit cards? Is it your name on the
Speaker 2: bank account? Or you know, it's it's it's really about,
Speaker 2: you know, giving yourself, you know, financial autonomy and power
Speaker 2: and there's nothing wrong with that and wanting it in
Speaker 2: a relationship and looking for that because it means when
Speaker 2: you don't like what's happening, you as you should be
Speaker 2: able to can leave. And sadly, a lot of women
Speaker 2: you know don't have the means financially to leave, and
Speaker 2: they get stuck. I've seen it time and time again. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's sad.
Speaker 1: What about you? Are you breaking or are you boosting?
Speaker 2: I'm going to do a boost, Anna Bury, so one
Speaker 2: just off the top. My break is going to be
Speaker 2: this election. I cannot wait for No. Number eighth. I
Speaker 2: just want to cast my ballot and move on with
Speaker 2: my life because I can't take the headlines. I want
Speaker 2: Voldemort to go back into his cave. I want him
Speaker 2: to just disappear into the dark hole he was born in.
Speaker 2: So I want to break from the election. I'm sure
Speaker 2: all of you guys do too. But my boost I
Speaker 2: want to give a boost to women in this election.
Speaker 2: I think, especially in light of these recent comments made
Speaker 2: by Voldemort he must not be named, all these polls
Speaker 2: will come out showing that women are the ones who
Speaker 2: are you know, really behind Trumps dropping the polls recently
Speaker 2: and how women will be the deciding vote. How polls
Speaker 2: of men have shown that they haven't really changed their
Speaker 2: opinion two muth one way or the other of him
Speaker 2: in light of these recent comments. But women are the
Speaker 2: the is the core group of voters who will be
Speaker 2: one of the biggest deciding factors in this election. And
Speaker 2: I just think that's really powerful and just a reminder
Speaker 2: that women's voices do matter. In fact, there were some
Speaker 2: there was this terrible hashtag going around from conservative voters.
Speaker 2: I think it was repealed the thirteenth which gave or
Speaker 2: repeal whatever if I'm terrible, My US history teacher is
Speaker 2: just rolling over right now. Repeal whatever amendment it was
Speaker 2: they gave women the right to vote. I think it's
Speaker 2: the nineteenth. Oh god, I'm sorry. Yeah, repeal the amendment
Speaker 2: that gave women the right to vote. So that yeah,
Speaker 2: so that we would have less of a say in
Speaker 2: the election. So I think that's just, you know, more
Speaker 2: encouragement for women to get out there and vote. Your
Speaker 2: votes do count. And you know, that's all I can
Speaker 2: say about that. Oh and no, that's not all I
Speaker 2: can say, because I forgot to mention Michelle, speaking of
Speaker 2: our goddess Floatus gave before this New York Times story
Speaker 2: even came out. That was just good timing. She dropped
Speaker 2: the mic on America again last week with her speech.
Speaker 2: I believe it was in New Hampshire, just dragging Lord
Speaker 2: Voldemort down to the ground for those comments he made,
Speaker 2: and really just like reading America for doing anything else
Speaker 2: and completely condemning those words and being terrified, terrified of
Speaker 2: the prospect of a man like that being close to
Speaker 2: the presidency. So and I think if there's any president
Speaker 2: of women in America, it's going to be Floatus. So
Speaker 2: she speaks for all of us. And I see you, Hillary,
Speaker 2: I see you got your your secret weapon, Miss Michelle,
Speaker 2: and I I can't blame.
Speaker 1: You for it. You better bring out the big gun.
Speaker 2: It's working. I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: It's working.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So go girl, thrill power. Yeah all right. So,
Speaker 2: like Tiffany said, you can go right to Brinambition podcast
Speaker 2: dot com to submit your questions. We've got some really
Speaker 2: good questions. We're only gonna get to maybe one or
Speaker 2: two today. This one is a really good question from
Speaker 2: one of our listeners who wants to remain anonymous. She says,
Speaker 2: I'm really confused. I heard on a recent episode of
Speaker 2: Brown Ambition a story that's triggered a lot of questions
Speaker 2: and doubts for me. My school loans are with an issue.
Speaker 2: We're called fed loan. I have about eighty four thousand
Speaker 2: dollars in student loan debt and I'm on an income
Speaker 2: driven repayment plan. But I've been using a company called
Speaker 2: Student Loan Assistance Center. I pay Student Loan Assistant Center
Speaker 2: thirty nine dollars a month for their services. They applied
Speaker 2: on my behalf for or the income based repayment plan.
Speaker 2: They've helped me get a loan consolidation and have also
Speaker 2: helped me getting on a twenty five year income driven
Speaker 2: repayment plan. I don't even understand everything on the form,
Speaker 2: and I wonder if all I've been paying has been
Speaker 2: for nothing. During the episode, I heard you say that
Speaker 2: I don't really need a company to act as an
Speaker 2: intermediary for these services. I wonder if I can drop
Speaker 2: SLAC and continue on the plan by myself.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to tell you that you could have just
Speaker 1: called your federal student loan company and they would have
Speaker 1: given you the exact same stuff.
Speaker 2: Yes, so I looked up Slack. It's actually a document
Speaker 2: processing company. So Slack is it's legitimate. Okay, there are
Speaker 2: businesses out there that you can pay a fee and
Speaker 2: they will do things for you that you can do yourself,
Speaker 2: the same way you could follow your taxes that you
Speaker 2: hire an accountant and they do a service for you
Speaker 2: that you could do yourself. So they're call a document
Speaker 2: processing center one of the super uber duber scammy ones
Speaker 2: out there that are like using images of Obama and
Speaker 2: promising student loan forgiveness and stuff. However, yes, you can
Speaker 2: absolutely do. You can absolutely just call your service or
Speaker 2: your loan servicer and enroll in those programs on your
Speaker 2: own and save your thirty nine dollars a month. Also,
Speaker 2: there's no reason to pay any company a monthly fee
Speaker 2: because it only takes one phone call.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say that, like, so what do they
Speaker 1: charge you once you do the documents at one time?
Speaker 1: You're like you're in, like Flynn, like there's nothing else.
Speaker 1: So when you're paying indefinitely thirty nine dollars a month,
Speaker 1: and what are they gonna do? Say, Hey, you're no
Speaker 1: longer in the income base for payment program. That's not
Speaker 1: how that works.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's the short answer to your question. She
Speaker 2: had a second part to her question. She's so she's
Speaker 2: looking at her student loan balances and they're just not
Speaker 2: going down. She says, I don't even understand everything on
Speaker 2: my student loan form, and I wonder if all I've
Speaker 2: been paying all this time is interest, since the amount
Speaker 2: of the principle doesn't seem to change, although it's it's
Speaker 2: been a year now that I've been on the plan
Speaker 2: and I pay regularly. Here's the thing with income based
Speaker 2: repayment plans, and especially if you're on a twenty five
Speaker 2: year plan, your payments are probably super duper low. She
Speaker 2: did send me some of her loan documents and I
Speaker 2: looked at them. Her interest rate is five point eight percent.
Speaker 2: Chances are her payment is so low that she really
Speaker 2: isn't touching the principle, Like she's just probably not even
Speaker 2: touching how much interest on it. So that's the that's
Speaker 2: like the quid pro quo with those income driven repayment
Speaker 2: plans is that what anytime you give yourself longer to
Speaker 2: pay off a loane, you're paying way more in interest.
Speaker 2: So you're actually going to pay more over time, way more.
Speaker 2: On the other hand, you get the benefit of flexible
Speaker 2: repayments and you can, you know, live your life and
Speaker 2: pay your bills and you're not stressed out. It's it's
Speaker 2: a give and take, but it's something that you should
Speaker 2: consider because if you're expecting, you know, to pay out
Speaker 2: the eighty five I mean it's twenty five years. That's
Speaker 2: how long it's going to take you. That's what the
Speaker 2: plan is set up for. So you know, you could
Speaker 2: you know, there's student loan repayment calculators you can look
Speaker 2: up online. We have when it Magnify Money, and you
Speaker 2: can put on your numbers and put on your how
Speaker 2: much you're paying for a month, and it'll tell you, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's going to take you a while.
Speaker 1: But the good news is if you canceled that forty
Speaker 1: bucks a month basically paying, you could put that towards
Speaker 1: your principle totally. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I would say candle them, yeah for sure.
Speaker 1: And just say, you know what, I'm going to put
Speaker 1: forty bucks a month. Like you can make a second
Speaker 1: principal payment of the forty bucks a month and at
Speaker 1: least then you'll know that you're you know you're doing
Speaker 1: a little bit of a shift, but you know it's yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, but I'm glad. That's a really good question
Speaker 1: to ask, because, for example, I paid someone to not
Speaker 1: do income based for payment and stuff like that, but
Speaker 1: I paid her to help me figure out even though
Speaker 1: I know I could do this myself, and I could
Speaker 1: have done the research and all kinds the Googles and
Speaker 1: everything else, but it was worth it to me to
Speaker 1: help for her to help me find a program where
Speaker 1: I could get rid of my student loans as much
Speaker 1: as possible. And with her help, I've been able to
Speaker 1: reduce my student loans by twenty thousand dollars. And now
Speaker 1: it's it was that a program I could have googled, Yes,
Speaker 1: but I did my googles and I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know what this says. I'd rather pay someone a
Speaker 1: couple hundred bucks to find it for me, and then
Speaker 1: I saved twenty thousand, So to me, the return on
Speaker 1: investment was worth it. Like Mandy said, it's like doing
Speaker 1: your laundry. You know how to do laundry. You could
Speaker 1: do it yourself or you could pay for a service,
Speaker 1: So it all kind of depends on you. Know on
Speaker 1: where you are and what you can afford and if
Speaker 1: you're willing to do the work yourself. But what you
Speaker 1: paid for, honestly was That's a phone call you could
Speaker 1: make just saying hey, I want to apply for income
Speaker 1: Base for payment and they would have walked you through.
Speaker 1: So just making sure that before you pay for anything.
Speaker 1: This is just for all the BA listeners, before you
Speaker 1: pay for any financial service, you know, do your best
Speaker 1: to try it on your own first, and then if
Speaker 1: you don't make any any movement or any progress on
Speaker 1: your own, then yes, you know, paying for professional services
Speaker 1: is not a terrible thing when you know you know
Speaker 1: what I've tried.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and just to a quick Google search, that's what
Speaker 2: I did to find out more about SLAC and see
Speaker 2: what other people have said about it and if they
Speaker 2: had the same experience. The unfortunate thing is that it's
Speaker 2: a legitimate company. They gave you a service, you paid
Speaker 2: for it. You can't get your money back, you know,
Speaker 2: that's the shame. So hopefully you can just cancel it
Speaker 2: and move on and start aggressively making payments as much
Speaker 2: as you can on those student loans, and you'll probably
Speaker 2: save more an interest by making bigger payments than what
Speaker 2: you lost this year pay in that company, so you
Speaker 2: can come back from it for sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Moved on to our second question. So this is from
Speaker 2: a reader named Dana. She says, I come to you
Speaker 2: with a career dilemma. You came to the right place,
Speaker 2: Dana says, I'm two and a half years removed from
Speaker 2: getting my bachelor's in business. Shortly after college, I landed
Speaker 2: a standard entry level job with a solid fortune one
Speaker 2: hundred company. As a new college grad. I was ecstatic. However,
Speaker 2: my interests started to wane and I was able to
Speaker 2: pinpoint that my boredom was attached to not feeling as
Speaker 2: though my company or my position fed my desire to
Speaker 2: work in a helping field. I wrestled with a few
Speaker 2: options and ended up with teaching. Fast forward and we're
Speaker 2: now in October. I'm feeling overwhelmed and I'm constantly kicking
Speaker 2: myself as to why I jumped into this field. I'm
Speaker 2: a sixth grade language arts teacher. There is just so
Speaker 2: much and it has me questioning everything about myself. According
Speaker 2: to the infamous first year teacher disillusionment chart, I don't
Speaker 2: know what that is, Tiffany, I am in the low
Speaker 2: point of first year teaching. Oh, I guess there's a
Speaker 2: lull and depression and first year teaching. In the event
Speaker 2: that it doesn't get better for me, how should I
Speaker 2: approach yet another career change? Also, when should you sacrifice
Speaker 2: school for work and vice versa. My gut is telling
Speaker 2: me to go back to school to get an MSW.
Speaker 2: But is it? But it is because my school is
Speaker 2: my comfort zone. And I also like to minimize debt
Speaker 2: as I currently am debt free.
Speaker 1: So let's maybe tackle the first part. So she went
Speaker 1: to school for business. Did she get her degree?
Speaker 2: She's two and a half years removed from getting her
Speaker 2: bachelor's in business. Okay, After college, she got an entry
Speaker 2: level job. Then she decided to switch moves and go
Speaker 2: into teaching.
Speaker 1: So that's where she and I were on the same page.
Speaker 1: So I got my degree in business as well. Was like,
Speaker 1: hate these internships, they're soul sucking. Then I became a teacher,
Speaker 1: and I can tell you that first year I cried
Speaker 1: almost every single day in the car on the way home.
Speaker 1: It's a lot.
Speaker 2: I cried, definitely in that first year.
Speaker 1: Low Oh what not only did I cry? First of all,
Speaker 1: I was exhausted. I couldn't even make it all the
Speaker 1: way home. I used to pull over halfway home. There
Speaker 1: was a Walmart that was like the halfway home point,
Speaker 1: and I was so exhausted. I used to pull over
Speaker 1: and take a thirty minute cat nap in the car
Speaker 1: every day because I couldn't make it all the way
Speaker 1: home with my eyes open because I was that exhausted.
Speaker 1: So just know that, yes, it is very, very hard
Speaker 1: in the beginning because no matter what you no matter
Speaker 1: what you do, it's difficult because teaching is one of
Speaker 1: those things that you really only get better at or
Speaker 1: do well at, with time. It's not something where it's
Speaker 1: like baking. Yeah, you know, you make a few cakes,
Speaker 1: you know well in the beginning, but really the nuances
Speaker 1: don't reveal themselves to you until after a few years
Speaker 1: of really getting into it. And so for the first
Speaker 1: year I was exhausted and I was depressed, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I mean, I love the kids, but everything
Speaker 1: else sucked. And it got better and I'm obviously you know,
Speaker 1: I'm not there now, but it got better as far
Speaker 1: as I got better as a teacher. Because it's like
Speaker 1: when you first start driving, you know, when you first
Speaker 1: start driving, and everything is a distraction. You're like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, the mirror, the lights, the camera, the action.
Speaker 1: But then after a while you learn how to focus
Speaker 1: and really not be distracted by all these different things.
Speaker 1: It's like that when you teach, everything is something thing.
Speaker 1: But then after a while you'll get into a rhythm
Speaker 1: where one you learn how to read kids very quickly,
Speaker 1: and people in your audience when you're speaking to them
Speaker 1: very quickly. You learn how to manage your classroom, you
Speaker 1: learn how to quickly like the few situations, you learn
Speaker 1: like you know, just there are all these things that
Speaker 1: you you don't even need to You don't even realize
Speaker 1: you need to learn that you will learn if you
Speaker 1: decide to stick with it. So I can't tell you
Speaker 1: to stick with it or not stick with it. All
Speaker 1: I can say is that how you're feeling is completely normal.
Speaker 1: And then if you decide to make a career shift,
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with that. I don't honestly, I'm not
Speaker 1: under the belief that you have to stay anywhere. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm doing the budget EASTA now what I mean catch
Speaker 1: me in two years. I might be the natural hair guru.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: That's my plan.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I don't. I'm not married to one way of living.
Speaker 1: I believe you have this one short life, and there's
Speaker 1: parts in life, like half of your life has gone
Speaker 1: to you. Part of your life you're too old to
Speaker 1: do anything, the other part you're too young to do anything.
Speaker 1: And then there's a middle piece where you're it's like
Speaker 1: just right. So Goldilocks, you better live your life because
Speaker 1: you're you're in your just right. So don't feel like
Speaker 1: you have to stay a certain place. I don't care
Speaker 1: if you changed your career every two years. You know,
Speaker 1: live your life and so, but just don't run from
Speaker 1: teaching if you think just because you think that, I
Speaker 1: shouldn't be feeling overwhelmed and upset that that's kind of normal.
Speaker 1: Everyone's not going to feel that way, but it's not abnormal.
Speaker 1: I certainly cried nearly every single day. I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't, I can do this, I can do this.
Speaker 2: I was in the I bet that's really comforting for
Speaker 2: her to hear. I bet that's what she needed. Like, yeah,
Speaker 2: like seventy five percent of that question. She just needed
Speaker 2: someone to tell her that she's not crazy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she you're not crazy. It's a lot, girl, You're
Speaker 1: dealing with like how many kids in the classroom, then
Speaker 1: the administration, and then the fact you actually have to
Speaker 1: teach them something, and then no one, no one actually
Speaker 1: was I kept waiting for teacher lessons, girl, they never came.
Speaker 1: No one came and said, hey, Tiffany, this is how
Speaker 1: you actually teach and manage the classroom. Literally the first day, Mandy,
Speaker 1: I didn't even know what kids that age knew. I
Speaker 1: was asking the student teacher like, so, like, what are
Speaker 1: three and four year olds know? Like do they know
Speaker 1: their name? I had no idea, So I'm like, so, hi, guys,
Speaker 1: I mean, I didn't even know.
Speaker 2: I didn't think of a single more terrifying thing than
Speaker 2: sitting and standing in front of twenty five twelve year
Speaker 2: olds in English class. Oh my god, you don't.
Speaker 1: Even know that. You have no unless you have children
Speaker 1: that age, there's no point of reference for you. So
Speaker 1: you don't know how hard you go, how soft do
Speaker 1: you go? How gentle? How mean? How you don't know?
Speaker 1: And so you don't you don't get your your cadence.
Speaker 1: It just takes a minute. And kids can smell and
Speaker 1: taste fear and they eat it. Like like they're like, oh, yes,
Speaker 1: she's afraid, y'all, here comes this new fresh meat got her.
Speaker 1: And so that's but I will say this, if you
Speaker 1: stick with it for a little while, you will come
Speaker 1: out on the other side a freaking superwoman. There is
Speaker 1: no better, like, cooler, well equipped person that I know
Speaker 1: than a damn teacher. Because one you learn how to
Speaker 1: manage folks. You learn public speaking, you learn how to
Speaker 1: keep people's attention, you learn how to bring people from
Speaker 1: a place of no knowledge to knowledge. You learn not
Speaker 1: just that, but it's like running a business because you
Speaker 1: have to manage the administration to parents and the students,
Speaker 1: and on top of that, teach them something something, make
Speaker 1: it entertaining. I mean, the reason why I do so
Speaker 1: well with the budgetiesta, hands down eighty five percent of
Speaker 1: it comes from my training in that classroom in New York,
Speaker 1: New Jersey with fifteen, three and four year olds at
Speaker 1: a time. It taught me everything. And so, you know,
Speaker 1: if nothing else, stay for a few years or so
Speaker 1: just to get that lesson, because you can take those
Speaker 1: skills and run the damn world for real.
Speaker 2: You can do it.
Speaker 1: You can, and just keep in contact. I would love
Speaker 1: to hear, you know, share your teacher story. That's one
Speaker 1: thing fun thing about being a teacher is like you
Speaker 1: become like really like a fun friend because every day
Speaker 1: I would have like teacher stories for my friends. So
Speaker 1: even if something is crazy and something terrible happened, share
Speaker 1: it as a teacher story with your friends, you know,
Speaker 1: of course leaving your kids' names out, but it becomes fun.
Speaker 1: Like my friends would ask me like, so what about
Speaker 1: the kid with the plaid shirt? Wow's he doing? You know?
Speaker 1: And so it just became fun sharing the good, bad
Speaker 1: and ugly with my friends. And it became very It's
Speaker 1: almost like therapy for me to share like my teacher stories.
Speaker 2: You have to talk about your you need friends to
Speaker 2: talk about your day, and yeah, whatever you do. But
Speaker 2: one part of her question that struck me was when
Speaker 2: she said she's thinking about going about going back to
Speaker 2: school to get her MSW, the master's in social work.
Speaker 2: And she says that's because school is my comfort zone
Speaker 2: and I'd like to but I'd also like to minimize debt.
Speaker 2: So she's as, you're weighing the option to go back
Speaker 2: to grad school. I mean, what I'll say about grad
Speaker 2: school is, you know, during the recession, tons of people
Speaker 2: couldn't get jobs, so they ran to school because it
Speaker 2: was you know, they sheltered in school was like the
Speaker 2: formal term because there weren't really any job prospects. They
Speaker 2: weren't getting any professional experience, so of course they into
Speaker 2: school to get you know, professional degree. But I feel
Speaker 2: like in social work especially, I mean I'm not an expert,
Speaker 2: I'm not in social work, but I feel like years
Speaker 2: of experience as a teacher are very powerful on a resume,
Speaker 2: Like you're getting real world professional experience. And I would
Speaker 2: take that into consideration too. As you're weighing the option
Speaker 2: of going back to school, especially if he means taking
Speaker 2: on a ton of debt, you have to think really hard,
Speaker 2: is that debt going to be worth the potential future
Speaker 2: earnings increase you can get with a degree in social work. Again,
Speaker 2: I don't know, you know what degrees in social work?
Speaker 2: You know how that can translate in salary, But you know,
Speaker 2: ask yourself, will you be better off with you know,
Speaker 2: tons of debt in that masters or tons of professional
Speaker 2: experience and growing in a in your actual career field
Speaker 2: later on? I mean, teachers are social workers in their
Speaker 2: own way, right, so I feel like those are I mean,
Speaker 2: you're learning a ton of skills that probably social workers
Speaker 2: learn in their day to day job already, and you're
Speaker 2: getting paid for it rather than paying, you know, to
Speaker 2: learn it in a in a classroom environment, which on
Speaker 2: is not like the real world anyway.
Speaker 1: And I'll say this that like when it comes to
Speaker 1: you know, stuff like that, you should ask you like,
Speaker 1: what's your end goal? So my sister taught me this,
Speaker 1: my older sister. She's always so scary question. It is
Speaker 1: a scary question, but it helps to order your past. So, like,
Speaker 1: you know, if you're like, you know ideally where you
Speaker 1: see you're life headed, making sure that all of the
Speaker 1: pieces that you're collecting are going to come together to
Speaker 1: equal that puzzle. So if your end goal is not
Speaker 1: to stay in the classroom, then why collect a puzzle
Speaker 1: piece you can't use, you know, So just making sure like, well,
Speaker 1: what is it that I see for my life? What
Speaker 1: is it how is it that I like my life
Speaker 1: to go, and making sure that you know, everything matches
Speaker 1: up to that, like, okay, I see myself. I knew
Speaker 1: I remember saying that I wanted to travel you know
Speaker 1: a lot. And so being a preschool teacher or any
Speaker 1: teacher helped with that because I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: have my summers off, you know, and you know, thinking
Speaker 1: to yourself, Oh, I want to make a certain amount
Speaker 1: of money, or I want to live in a certain place,
Speaker 1: or I want to feel a certa way, or I
Speaker 1: want to give back whatever that looks like. Making sure
Speaker 1: that you know, does that degree or is that in
Speaker 1: alignment with in general, how you'd like your life to
Speaker 1: kind of play out, and if not, then you know,
Speaker 1: make a different choice. I mean it's you know, I
Speaker 1: know it's hard. I'm not saying like what do you
Speaker 1: want to be when you grow up? Because I believe
Speaker 1: that we're going to be a number of things. To me,
Speaker 1: I like to say, how do you want to live?
Speaker 1: Because how do you want to live doesn't really change
Speaker 1: that much. You know people who who kind of pick
Speaker 1: their hand, travel, fun, giving, sharing, caring, those things don't
Speaker 1: typically change. So figure out how do you want to
Speaker 1: live and do things in alignment with that.
Speaker 2: Preach. That was excellent. I can listen to your advice
Speaker 2: all day. You know, you might have a future and
Speaker 2: advice giving what.
Speaker 1: I do my own advice. But I was just this
Speaker 1: is just like an aside and this is like adventures
Speaker 1: of Like just I've been very, very very overwhelmed lately,
Speaker 1: but not even in a bad way. There's just been
Speaker 1: so much. It's really good stuff, but it's it's just
Speaker 1: it made me realize that it's time for me to
Speaker 1: get a personal and in person assistant, like come get
Speaker 1: my laundry, you know, yes, And so it's just hiring.
Speaker 1: I know, I am, but I need an in person
Speaker 1: just like, not an admin, like a personal assistant for real.
Speaker 1: And it sounds so crazy, like it sounds so oprah
Speaker 1: esque or so beyond saly, like what do I need
Speaker 1: a personal assistant for? But I find myself spending hours
Speaker 1: doing things that I shouldn't be doing, quite honestly. And
Speaker 1: it's not even because of the business aspect. More and more,
Speaker 1: I've just been thinking about family and I want to
Speaker 1: have a kid, and I'm like, well, I'm spending hours
Speaker 1: doing these like non essential things. That's less time than
Speaker 1: IM gonna I'm gonna have with my hopefully future baby,
Speaker 1: and I just I don't want to I don't want
Speaker 1: that to take up so much time anymore. So I've
Speaker 1: been trying to strategically and the same thing to like
Speaker 1: to the young woman that just that wrote that email,
Speaker 1: that that's what I mean, Like, I'm trying to make
Speaker 1: choices that add up to the life of how I
Speaker 1: want to live. And I want to live a life
Speaker 1: where I have time to like chill up my baby
Speaker 1: and not worry about my business falling to pieces because
Speaker 1: there are people in place to make sure things run.
Speaker 1: So part of that how is planning now to get
Speaker 1: a personal assistant and figuring out what does that look like.
Speaker 1: So as I'm working on you know, I even got
Speaker 1: like this fertility app on my phone which we could
Speaker 1: talk about.
Speaker 2: Like we are.
Speaker 1: Knee deep in this saying, man, you don't even know
Speaker 1: like this is.
Speaker 2: We're gonna do a whole episode. We're gonna planned parenthood.
Speaker 1: Yes, we all gotta call. We got to talk about
Speaker 1: that next episode.
Speaker 2: But yeah, So you guys have parenting questions, ask them now, right?
Speaker 1: Oh no, don't ask me. I don't have anything.
Speaker 2: We will send them to experts or family planning questions.
Speaker 1: Question, Well, how do you make sure that they're not killers?
Speaker 2: How do you make sure they don't want to do
Speaker 2: things like drugs like I wanted to do drugs?
Speaker 1: How do.
Speaker 2: I make sure my kid doesn't want to do that
Speaker 2: stuff either.
Speaker 1: And you can't even ask like your mom and stuff
Speaker 1: anymore because I don't even remember.
Speaker 2: Remember, Like, I don't know. I just I just wing.
Speaker 1: I hold my nephew, Like, Mommy, you had five of us.
Speaker 1: She's like, I know, but you guys are like forty, so.
Speaker 2: When you were twelve.
Speaker 1: I know. She doesn't even remember anything. I'm like, that's
Speaker 1: not how you hold a baby.
Speaker 2: My god, I've seen my mother in law hold a baby.
Speaker 2: It's terrifying.
Speaker 1: It is. How did they birth children and take care
Speaker 1: of them?
Speaker 2: Suck of potatoes? Yeah, because they know how sturty they are,
Speaker 2: that's the thing. They know. They're not breakable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're not. And then you're all like, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: don't die, don't die.
Speaker 2: Oh my god?
Speaker 1: Yeah all right, so you want to end with some wins.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just gonna I'm.
Speaker 2: So excited for our planned parented episode. I need everyone
Speaker 2: to get ready. We're going to do an entire thing
Speaker 2: about planning for a baby.
Speaker 1: Yeh. Financially, emotionally, mentally, yeah, definitely. I'm excited about that too.
Speaker 1: I'm going to show you with you this app that
Speaker 1: I found that's really awesome. It's free, but I've been
Speaker 1: loving it. You guys can so even gear up by
Speaker 1: sending us like some questions, even some suggestions that we
Speaker 1: can share with the rest of the BA audience about
Speaker 1: like what you use that really helped. I am thirty
Speaker 1: seven and so I'm not some spring chicken so pregnancy,
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I eat
Speaker 1: fairly decent, and I exercise, so.
Speaker 2: Especially wants some medical advice if we have any guynecologists
Speaker 2: or fertility doctors on the line. Tiffany's email is.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little bit
Speaker 1: nervous about like my ability you could took and see
Speaker 1: because of my age, but you know we're gonna have them.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I have friends who are going through the same
Speaker 2: thing right now, friends who are but not just age,
Speaker 2: I mean friends who are my age, younger, older, who've
Speaker 2: been dealing with fertility wins and loses, loses, wins and losses. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I think it's just something everyone's going through and
Speaker 2: we're all just kind of afraid to talk about it
Speaker 2: because we're like what, we're independent women. We're gonna get
Speaker 2: our career first, and like manage our lives and get
Speaker 2: the right man. But like family planning is important, and it.
Speaker 1: Is and it's planning, That's what I'm realizing, Like because
Speaker 1: when you're in your twenties you don't think about it.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, wow, this is like a plan and
Speaker 1: I have to make a plan that if by a
Speaker 1: certain time it doesn't happen, do we do in vitro? Like?
Speaker 1: What are those things? Does insurance cover it? There are
Speaker 1: all these things now that I have to like contend
Speaker 1: with on top of the fact of running a business
Speaker 1: that I'm like, wow, but that's what adulting looks like,
Speaker 1: you know. So so you want to wrap up with
Speaker 1: some wins. I mean, my win is easy. My win
Speaker 1: is I got my.
Speaker 2: Rain Ah so many wins. Oh yeah, that was a
Speaker 2: huge win, Missus Superman Future Missus Superman. My win is
Speaker 2: the fact that I did not think of a win before.
Speaker 2: Obviously I'm unprepared. We talked about a lot of positive
Speaker 2: things to say, I mean a lot of positive things. Today,
Speaker 2: I guess I'll make my win. The fact that although
Speaker 2: none of us seems to really know for sure what
Speaker 2: the hell we're doing, whether it's in our career find
Speaker 2: as relationships, like, we're all figuring it out and we're
Speaker 2: all gonna be okay. That's all I want to say.
Speaker 2: We're all gonna We're all gonna be it. We're all
Speaker 2: grown ups. We have the license to live our lives
Speaker 2: the way we want to live them, and we're all
Speaker 2: need to be empowered to live we want to live
Speaker 2: them and to feel like you know, you deserve everything
Speaker 2: you have and more. And so if you feel like
Speaker 2: you are a little bit of imposter syndrome in your adultingness,
Speaker 2: just learn to embrace it. You should start to figure
Speaker 2: out what you want. And it's okay to know what
Speaker 2: you want and what you don't want out of life.
Speaker 2: And like Tiffany said, start answering the questions of what
Speaker 2: you want, I mean, how you want your life to look.
Speaker 2: And it's okay to ask thos questions. And it's even
Speaker 2: better when you have some answers for those because that
Speaker 2: will make everything appear much more clear, all the choices
Speaker 2: you have to make. As soon as you're looking through
Speaker 2: them through the lens of how does this help me
Speaker 2: achieve what I want my life to look like, you'll
Speaker 2: just see things get more simple. I think that's what
Speaker 2: everyone says or what everyone means when they talk about
Speaker 2: how much they love getting older, because everything just sort
Speaker 2: of becomes more simple because you know what you want
Speaker 2: and how to get it. So this is my my
Speaker 2: love letter to adulting. I guess that was a good
Speaker 2: I kind of need that pep talk, honestly.
Speaker 1: Don't worry, don't worry. I mean, yes, it all in
Speaker 1: the end, it all kind of works out. And yes,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie, I said, because how old are you?
Speaker 2: Mandy nine?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, So I will say that at thirty seven,
Speaker 1: I am definitely more clear on my how like how
Speaker 1: I want to live. So you know, that's the one
Speaker 1: thing I will say. I mean, I can't speak for
Speaker 1: every woman obviously, but it does get as far as
Speaker 1: my journey, it's gotten clearer and easier to identify the
Speaker 1: uh you know what this is in alignment. This is
Speaker 1: how I want to live, you know, So I will
Speaker 1: say that part. It doesn't necessarily get life in general
Speaker 1: get easier, but you know, I can pretty much when
Speaker 1: something comes my way, Like I had an opportunity today,
Speaker 1: great money, and I was like, I instantly was like, nope,
Speaker 1: my head has said nope. I let them talk, but
Speaker 1: I said nope, this is not in alignment. This is
Speaker 1: gonna take time away from my family. I'm in this
Speaker 1: baby making time. It's this baby's not gonna make itself.
Speaker 1: I need to be home. So yeah, on that note,
Speaker 1: we leave you with some babymaking music. I can't.
Speaker 2: I can't do another two weeks without you in my life.
Speaker 2: I seriously can't. Oh my silly news, right, I need
Speaker 2: to know that it won't happen again.
Speaker 1: No, I'm kidding.
Speaker 2: We just had a busy, busy early October, but we'll
Speaker 2: be back next week with another show. You guys, continue
Speaker 2: to send us your questions at briannmission podcast dot com.
Speaker 2: Leave us reviews, let us know how much you like
Speaker 2: the show. It helps everyone find us. And thank you
Speaker 2: again for all your support.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we love you.