Speaker 1: Reacting my first thoughts on it. You said this is
Speaker 1: a hard topic. I think it's I don't know why
Speaker 1: we wouldn't call that murder. Hey, everybody, Happy Monday. Welcome
Speaker 1: back to the podcast. This is episode ninety two. I'm
Speaker 1: so glad you guys are here and that you're continuing
Speaker 1: to come back for more questions or maybe this is
Speaker 1: your first time. But what we do here is I
Speaker 1: answer your questions that you email me Granger Smith Podcast
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Could be about any subject, life, love, hurt, spiritual,
Speaker 1: whatever it might be, email me and we'll talk about it.
Speaker 1: Like we're just driving down the road taking our time,
Speaker 1: and you just say, may can I run something bias,
Speaker 1: something's kind of been bugging me lately, or something I've
Speaker 1: been excited about, but I need your opinion on I'm
Speaker 1: not always right, but I'm gonna tell you the best
Speaker 1: I could, just like we're friends. Okay. The first question here,
Speaker 1: Subjectliine says being away from home. Email says, Hey, Grangeer
Speaker 1: first all. First of all, I want to say thank you.
Speaker 1: I'm a huge fan. I've seen you twice now in concert.
Speaker 1: The second time you picked me out of the crowd
Speaker 1: in Calgary at Country Thunder and acknowledged me all because
Speaker 1: I was wearing eeee That's awesome, buddy, he said. This
Speaker 1: is a moment I'll remember a little bit about me.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty five years old. I work full time, week
Speaker 1: on and a week off. I work about four to
Speaker 1: five hours away from home, but luckily I'm able to
Speaker 1: fly back and forth, which really makes it about a
Speaker 1: one hour flight each week. Once a week, I find
Speaker 1: myself going on autopilot and following this same seven day
Speaker 1: routine in week in and week out. Other days, and
Speaker 1: usually on the first few nights of my shift, I
Speaker 1: find myself becoming sad and sometimes depressed after being away
Speaker 1: from home. And I'm pretty I'm a pretty stone cold guy.
Speaker 1: But I don't ever really bring it up or talk
Speaker 1: about it, and I find myself getting embarrassed when I
Speaker 1: do have to express something like this. I'm overall pretty
Speaker 1: bad with dealing with my emotions in a general sense.
Speaker 1: My question to you is, how did you or how
Speaker 1: do you still deal with those feelings while being away
Speaker 1: from home and kids and wife while out on tour.
Speaker 1: I know it's a hard comparison, but it's my best
Speaker 1: comparison for a situation like yours. Any advice or insight
Speaker 1: would be appreciated. Thank you for your time. I can't
Speaker 1: wait to sit down and read your book. Sean from Edmonton. Sean,
Speaker 1: I appreciate you so much, brother, and thank you for
Speaker 1: being vulnerable, opening up in a situation like this and
Speaker 1: for being a fan. I think it's a good question too.
Speaker 1: I think it's a great question. This is just good
Speaker 1: old fashioned homesickness. What do you do? What do you do?
Speaker 1: And so you didn't say if you have a like
Speaker 1: a wife and children. I don't know. You didn't say
Speaker 1: that you're twenty five years old, though, so you might.
Speaker 1: You work full time, one week on, one week off,
Speaker 1: and this is all about four to five hour drive
Speaker 1: from home. Luckily you fly back and forth, which is
Speaker 1: only an hour flight each every week, right, so the
Speaker 1: distance is not relevant because you're flying. And the good
Speaker 1: thing is you're off. You're home for a week and
Speaker 1: gone for a week. I think that what's getting to
Speaker 1: you is the consistency of that that's killing you, just knowing. Okay,
Speaker 1: I got a four days left at home, three days
Speaker 1: left at home, two last day at home, and that
Speaker 1: last day at home, you're not really enjoying it because
Speaker 1: you're packing, you're thinking about work, you're thinking about getting
Speaker 1: some sleep or catching up on sleep or whatever you
Speaker 1: got to do. You're taking care of stuff around the house,
Speaker 1: doing some handyman work around the house, and and you're
Speaker 1: you're not getting that full week, right, So you're not
Speaker 1: really you're not relaxing, you're not spending all of it
Speaker 1: with your family and just soaking it all in. You're
Speaker 1: not being totally present because when you go home, you
Speaker 1: got to take care of stuff. I get it, I
Speaker 1: get it. So the first thing I want to ask you,
Speaker 1: if we're driving down the truck, you're driving in the truck,
Speaker 1: driving down the road, and you you say, hey, man,
Speaker 1: I got this deal, I got this problem. I'm gonna say, well,
Speaker 1: how tell me about the job? You know, what does
Speaker 1: the job mean to you? Is that the only job?
Speaker 1: Is this job pay so much that you can't avoid it?
Speaker 1: Because because my question is going to be that pay
Speaker 1: that money you're getting for this job? Do you know right?
Speaker 1: You know that money or do you know that time
Speaker 1: is money? Right? You know that time is money, very
Speaker 1: valuable money. That's that is your currency. This is all
Speaker 1: of our currency. We use time as our most valuable currency.
Speaker 1: Isn't that crazy to think about? Like time is if
Speaker 1: you spend time, for instance, on your mother, on your wife,
Speaker 1: or on your kids, that is your most valuable gift
Speaker 1: to them. It's also the most valuable gift to yourself,
Speaker 1: and it's priceless. You cannot pay for time, and once
Speaker 1: it's gone, you never get it back. And yet we
Speaker 1: carelessly spend it all the time, constantly wasting time doing
Speaker 1: monotonous things, losing ourselves, stuck on social media or watching
Speaker 1: a meaningless show on our phone, doing something where we're
Speaker 1: going unconscious and consuming something from the world and stead
Speaker 1: of contributing back. That's that's something I always think about
Speaker 1: that how are we spending our most valuable resource? How
Speaker 1: are we doing it? And so there's that to think about.
Speaker 1: When you're a week on and when and you're and
Speaker 1: then you're a week back off, how are you spending
Speaker 1: those two weeks one while you're working and one while
Speaker 1: you're at home. It's so important to think about that,
Speaker 1: to be thinking through every minute, every hour that you're
Speaker 1: that you're doing these things for all of us time
Speaker 1: blocking or journaling our time. But on top of all that.
Speaker 1: What I would ask you is, as you think about
Speaker 1: your job and you think about I'm assuming you probably
Speaker 1: get paid, well, that's why you do it. That's that's
Speaker 1: how you're justifying. It's like, well, men, it's a good job,
Speaker 1: a work a week on, week off, but it's a
Speaker 1: it's a good job, it's a good pay and gig. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I would say, you've got to reconcile the good
Speaker 1: pay for the time you're spending away from home because
Speaker 1: you're only getting you know, twenty six weeks at home
Speaker 1: and you're spending twenty six weeks out right. How much
Speaker 1: are those twenty six weeks worth to you? If at
Speaker 1: the end of your life you look back and you
Speaker 1: could pay money to get those twenty six weeks back
Speaker 1: every year, how much money would you pay. Would it
Speaker 1: be millions? If you had millions of dollars if you
Speaker 1: could pay that back, it might even be billions. Isn't
Speaker 1: that crazy? If someone at the end of your life
Speaker 1: they said, hey, we're going to give you an infinite
Speaker 1: amount of wealth, But how much money would you spend
Speaker 1: on getting all of those weeks that you spent working back?
Speaker 1: And you'd say five billion dollars. It's interesting. These are
Speaker 1: just things to think through. I'm not telling you quit
Speaker 1: your job, and I'm not telling you it's a bad job,
Speaker 1: and just saying be mindful of being present and spending
Speaker 1: your most valuable resource, your time wisely. Next question subject,
Speaker 1: LiLine says, this one's a kicker. I grand your. My
Speaker 1: name is Hannah, I'm twenty three. I live in Mississippi.
Speaker 1: This topic is one a lot of people don't like
Speaker 1: to talk about. But since you're in the business of
Speaker 1: answering hard questions, i'd love your input on this. What's
Speaker 1: your opinion on physician assisted suicide in terminally ill patience?
Speaker 1: Thanks for sharing your wisdom. Okay, thank you, Hannah, I
Speaker 1: appreciate you. Shout out to Mississippi. This is the point
Speaker 1: in the podcast when I remind everyone I don't I
Speaker 1: don't pre plan these questions, and I don't pre plan
Speaker 1: my answers. I don't have quotes and famous books around
Speaker 1: me that I pull and resource. I just I'm hearing
Speaker 1: them and reacting the same time you do. Okay, so
Speaker 1: you say sharing wisdom, I don't know if i'd call
Speaker 1: it wisdom. This is just you know, this is campfire
Speaker 1: talking here, So pull up a chair, get a little
Speaker 1: closer to the campfire, Let's get some s'mores. Let's talk
Speaker 1: about physician assisted suicide and terminally ill patience. Okay, reacting
Speaker 1: my first thoughts on it, you said this is a
Speaker 1: hard topic. I think it's I don't I don't know
Speaker 1: why we wouldn't call that murder. That's just that's the
Speaker 1: way I want to put it, because in defense of it,
Speaker 1: if someone's defending physician assisted suicide and someone that's terminally ill,
Speaker 1: you're saying, you're saying that person is not worthy of
Speaker 1: living anymore. That person has nothing left to live for.
Speaker 1: You could say it that way. So let's kill them
Speaker 1: because they don't have anything worth living for anymore. Because
Speaker 1: they're gonna die, we might as well just speed up
Speaker 1: the process. Maybe they're in pain, maybe this is maybe
Speaker 1: they're depressed. Let's give them a gift and help them
Speaker 1: murder themselves so that they could just be in peace.
Speaker 1: However you word it, it's murder, right, And you'll learn
Speaker 1: with me. If you're new to this podcast, you'll learn that.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry if I'm offending you, but that's not
Speaker 1: my intention. My intention is not to clickbait you, or
Speaker 1: to make a bunch of people angry, or to try
Speaker 1: to rile you up by being polarizing. That's never my
Speaker 1: intention to offend anyone. So if this is if this
Speaker 1: is speaking directly to maybe someone's grandparent or parent, that's
Speaker 1: not my intention. I'm not trying to call anybody out
Speaker 1: or make any kind of judgment. I'm talking about the
Speaker 1: general scenario of this question, what the implications are for
Speaker 1: future of that haven't happened yet. I would say, I
Speaker 1: don't know why you wouldn't think this is murder. Think
Speaker 1: of it in any other way. What if the person
Speaker 1: isn't agreeing to it, What if they don't know about it.
Speaker 1: What if they're in a coma okay, but there's a
Speaker 1: chance they can come back. Would you say, I know
Speaker 1: there's a chance they can come back, but we should
Speaker 1: just kill them because they'll be better off dead. I
Speaker 1: would say that's murder. It's murder. We're not talking about that.
Speaker 1: They haven't been convicted of a crime, and they're not
Speaker 1: on death row here right, This isn't capital punishment. It's murder.
Speaker 1: Even if they are agreeing to it, they are agreeing
Speaker 1: to the murder of their own body. And so here's
Speaker 1: my point. That's just the static look at it, that's
Speaker 1: the the overall look at it. But if you dig
Speaker 1: deeper in it, you're saying, even if you're the person
Speaker 1: agreeing to this, you're saying, I I know, I am certain,
Speaker 1: I am positive this is a fact that I have
Speaker 1: nothing left that matters that is worthy of living for
Speaker 1: that I am certain of this, right, And here's the truth.
Speaker 1: You're not certain of that. You don't know. You don't
Speaker 1: know when your last breath will be. You don't know
Speaker 1: what might happen. You don't know who you can affect
Speaker 1: in a positive way. You don't know what your story
Speaker 1: could do for someone else. Even if you're terminally ill,
Speaker 1: and the doctor says you have weeks or hours, you
Speaker 1: don't know when your final breath is coming, meaning you
Speaker 1: don't know if you still matter. That's just the coldest
Speaker 1: way I could say it. But that's what I'm trying.
Speaker 1: That's my point. I'm trying to make you don't know.
Speaker 1: And because you don't know, you think you know, and
Speaker 1: you want to you want to pull the plug on yourself.
Speaker 1: That's murdering yourself, right. Physician assisted that's what however you
Speaker 1: want to look at it, whatever the sweetest term is.
Speaker 1: I believe that is murder, even if it's consented by
Speaker 1: the person. Okay, I don't think there's much more to say.
Speaker 1: I think that's a tragedy. Let's got another question here,
Speaker 1: Suvid client says grief and regret. Hey, Grangeer, love your podcast. Man.
Speaker 1: My name is Jonah. I'm sixteen years old. Really appreciate
Speaker 1: what you do. Over these past years, I've been struggling
Speaker 1: with the sudden and unexpected death of my grandpa. Now,
Speaker 1: my grandpa has suffered from a head trauma and this
Speaker 1: affected his body for the rest of his life. This
Speaker 1: meant he had to relearn a lot of basic needs. Miraculously,
Speaker 1: he ended up living twenty plus years, longer than what
Speaker 1: we were told, and he was able to watch his
Speaker 1: grandchildren grow up. My family and I had the blessing
Speaker 1: of living have him living with us for the past
Speaker 1: two years of his life. My grandpa was always in
Speaker 1: and out of the hospital and we were never expected
Speaker 1: anything bad that might happen to him. He was a
Speaker 1: tough guy. When my grandpa went into the hospital with
Speaker 1: a stomach ache, we thought he'd be out soon. About
Speaker 1: a week or two so later. He had two heart
Speaker 1: attacks and machines were keeping him alive. We had to
Speaker 1: let him go. His body was very weak and he
Speaker 1: was ready. That's different than assisted suicide. Right, Okay, that's different.
Speaker 1: We're talking about two different scenarios. I just had to
Speaker 1: had to interject and say that that's different. In some
Speaker 1: then it's different. Let me just stop right here and
Speaker 1: separate these two questions, because this is a different scenario.
Speaker 1: If you're if you're on a life support machine and
Speaker 1: you're you're battling, and you say say turn the machine off,
Speaker 1: let me breathe my own power, let me see my
Speaker 1: family on my own power, that's different. That's not physician
Speaker 1: assisted suicide. Right, Okay, back to the question. During the
Speaker 1: time in the hospital, I was I was never bothered
Speaker 1: calling him or sent even a thoughtful text because I
Speaker 1: had thought he had come home, and I would struggle
Speaker 1: forgiving myself for that. I'm not sure quite what that means.
Speaker 1: His services gave me a little closure knowing that he
Speaker 1: was gone and that he's in a better place without
Speaker 1: any pain. But I wish I had made more of
Speaker 1: an effort to talk to someone Okay, I see what
Speaker 1: he's saying. He didn't talk to anybody during this who
Speaker 1: probably wanted nothing more than to talk about talk to
Speaker 1: one of the people he loved the most while he
Speaker 1: was there. I know my grandpa loved me and he
Speaker 1: would want he would not want me to be upset
Speaker 1: over this, But I just can't help but think about it.
Speaker 1: I still expect him to come home. Sometimes it still
Speaker 1: doesn't feel real. I hate going back to normal without
Speaker 1: him in my life. There's always something missing without him. Here.
Speaker 1: Any advice. Okay, Jonah, sixteen years old, lost your grandpa
Speaker 1: and this is over the past year. Okay, got it
Speaker 1: all right, brother, let's dive into this. I want to
Speaker 1: tell you something. I'm gonna tell everybody something. Grandpa's die.
Speaker 1: I have to say that sometimes on this podcast because
Speaker 1: it almost feels like sometimes people forget but Grandpa's die.
Speaker 1: And you might be thinking, Ah, come on, man, give
Speaker 1: me some wisdom here. But what I mean is sometimes
Speaker 1: I want to say, Jonah, if we were riding in
Speaker 1: the truck together, I'd say, Jonah, gonna ask you a question, buddy.
Speaker 1: You say up in here in the top of your question,
Speaker 1: you're saying, we never expected anything bad to happen to him.
Speaker 1: He was a tough guy, that's what you said. And
Speaker 1: so if you were riding in the truck with me,
Speaker 1: I'd say, Jonah, did you think he wasn't going to die?
Speaker 1: Did you think he was going to outlive you? Now,
Speaker 1: that sounds so simple, but sometimes we need to process
Speaker 1: simple things before we get deep and get on a
Speaker 1: deep level. Here, we just got to process some simple things,
Speaker 1: like Grandpa always was going to die, and he was
Speaker 1: going to die for some reason or another at some
Speaker 1: point in time. Now, in a scenario like this, we
Speaker 1: could have guessed that he would live a couple more years.
Speaker 1: We could have guessed that he was going to die
Speaker 1: twenty years before this. But the bottom line is, Jonah,
Speaker 1: he was gonna die. And there is something about that
Speaker 1: that's helpful in these discussions. It's like sometimes we're surprised
Speaker 1: by death, you know, like, oh, man, I just don't
Speaker 1: know what to do. Grandpa died, and I have sympathy
Speaker 1: for that. I've lost two grandpas, I've lost a dad.
Speaker 1: I have sympathy for that, and I've lost many other
Speaker 1: people in my life, but specifically speaking to the patriarchs
Speaker 1: in my family, have lost two grandpa's and a dad,
Speaker 1: and sometimes you have to come to grips that dads
Speaker 1: are going to die. Grandpa's are going to die. And
Speaker 1: when you know that, and you believe that, and you
Speaker 1: understand that, then you could move the level too of
Speaker 1: the grief. You could move on and instead of being
Speaker 1: stuck in the surprise that they're not here anymore. I
Speaker 1: remember when Dad died. I remember the next morning the
Speaker 1: sun came up after because he died. I found out
Speaker 1: that night before. Mom found him after a heart attack,
Speaker 1: and he was sixty one, so unexpected, there were no
Speaker 1: prior health issues. Mom just found him asleep in the chair.
Speaker 1: He was gone, massive heart attack. The next morning, the
Speaker 1: sun came up, and Jonah, just like your email, I
Speaker 1: remember thinking, man, the sun comes up without Dad, legitimate thought.
Speaker 1: I remember going out to the road and seeing cars
Speaker 1: driving and I was like, huh, people are driving around
Speaker 1: living their lives in a world without Dad here. I
Speaker 1: mean that sounds crazy to someone that has never experienced this,
Speaker 1: But someone that's going through grief, someone that Jonah, you
Speaker 1: know you lost your grandpa, someone that has been through it,
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, it's weird, Like people live lives without
Speaker 1: your loved one. Here the sun still comes up and
Speaker 1: it goes back down again. One day gone, one day
Speaker 1: gone without Dad in it. In my life, that's strange
Speaker 1: for you, jonaht your grandpa, and I remember feeling the
Speaker 1: same thing with my grandpa. But these are good things
Speaker 1: to process through. It's good things to realize that the
Speaker 1: sun comes up and it goes back down, and there
Speaker 1: is a rhythm to it, and there's a rhythm to
Speaker 1: this world. There's a rhythm to this planet, to this universe.
Speaker 1: There is a there was a timing to it, there
Speaker 1: is a pattern to it, and we could trust it.
Speaker 1: You could trust that son's gonna come back up. God
Speaker 1: has given us a perfect rhythm that we could rely on,
Speaker 1: and death is part of that rhythm. And once we
Speaker 1: feel that and we're flowing with it, it's easier to
Speaker 1: get past the shock and surprise of it. As if
Speaker 1: we thought that maybe this time, this not this grandpa,
Speaker 1: This grandpa was gonna live forever, Like I know, Grandpa's died, Granger,
Speaker 1: but this one, you don't know. This one. He was tough,
Speaker 1: he was gonna live past me. I say no, no,
Speaker 1: he didn't make it either. You'll get that money. We'll
Speaker 1: take a break there of that. Thank you for listening
Speaker 1: to the podcast. You know, my book Like a River
Speaker 1: comes out August first. I just I can't say enough
Speaker 1: how excited I am for at least the conversation starter.
Speaker 1: So many of these emails that come in are about
Speaker 1: grief and loss and about my story, and I just
Speaker 1: I want so badly just to say, read the book,
Speaker 1: get back to me, let's discuss. So that happens on
Speaker 1: August the first, and you can pre order right now
Speaker 1: from grangersmith dot com. That's gonna kind of kick you
Speaker 1: out to all the different places that sell books. You
Speaker 1: can get it anywhere that sells books, but grangersmith dot
Speaker 1: com can be the hub for that. And then also
Speaker 1: you could get a free chapter right away whenever you
Speaker 1: do it. So pre order right now and then the
Speaker 1: book Like a River comes out August the first. If
Speaker 1: you need to get a hold of me right now,
Speaker 1: if you want me to send you a video message
Speaker 1: of me saying happy birthday or happy Annavertree or whatever
Speaker 1: the message might be, cameo dot com slash grangersmith is
Speaker 1: a great way to do that. You could also download
Speaker 1: the cameo app and search for me Granger Smith. I
Speaker 1: will then send you a video message according to whatever
Speaker 1: you want me to say it to who whatever you
Speaker 1: want me to say it too. It's a great way,
Speaker 1: uh to keep in touch, get a little last minute
Speaker 1: gift if you forgot something right again. That's Cameo dot
Speaker 1: com slash Granger Smith. Back to the podcast last break,
Speaker 1: I said this is episode one. I believe this is
Speaker 1: one ninety three. Actually, wow, we're almost two one hundred
Speaker 1: and seven, shy, I have one hundred episodes. I mean
Speaker 1: two hundred episodes. This is how fast it goes by
Speaker 1: for me. You can believe this two hundred episodes. That's crazy.
Speaker 1: I'm answering your questions. You email me Grangersmith podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Love to hear from you, love to
Speaker 1: walk through something with you. And I'm gonna just kind
Speaker 1: of slide this thing down and find me a question,
Speaker 1: a random one. Have not checked these before? Boom, here
Speaker 1: we go, it says, hey, Granger love the podcast. You
Speaker 1: have so much wisdom. I don't know about that. I'm
Speaker 1: twenty eight years old from i Mac Washington, home to
Speaker 1: the world famous suicide race. I grew up in a
Speaker 1: family that went to church every week, but I never
Speaker 1: had a good relationship with God. Just recently I started
Speaker 1: to pray and listen to my Bible more. It is
Speaker 1: amazing how God has changed my heart in the last
Speaker 1: couple months. How do I pray for a future spouse
Speaker 1: without making it about me? God has blessed a small
Speaker 1: construction electrical company I just started. But how do I
Speaker 1: make sure I'm doing the things I need to be
Speaker 1: doing as a man of God? All right, Matt, this
Speaker 1: is that's your name, Matt. I shout out to beautiful Washington,
Speaker 1: and I appreciate you opening up, buddy. Yeah, praise God
Speaker 1: for his work in you and what He has done
Speaker 1: for you and in the eyes he has opened. And
Speaker 1: I want to dive into your question. I got to
Speaker 1: you kind of at the last part of your email.
Speaker 1: You kind of shot a couple questions out. How do
Speaker 1: I pray for a future spouse without making it about
Speaker 1: my timing? And how do I make sure I'm doing
Speaker 1: the things related to your business then I need to
Speaker 1: be doing as a man of God. Great man, great
Speaker 1: questions to be thinking about. And I don't necessarily think
Speaker 1: you're you're specifically talking about any of these things. I
Speaker 1: think you're just mainly thinking about life in general. How
Speaker 1: do I be a disciple? Like how do I serve
Speaker 1: God right? How do I make sure that that I'm
Speaker 1: not getting caught up and like building a company and
Speaker 1: getting lost and power and greed in the world and
Speaker 1: finding a spouse just because because she's satisfying something in
Speaker 1: me and I'm not finding the right girl for the
Speaker 1: right round. You're just you're walking a good path. And
Speaker 1: I think that just just asking these kind of questions,
Speaker 1: just talking about this stuff is good. It's healthy, and
Speaker 1: I have faith in you. I have faith that you're
Speaker 1: You're not going to mess this stuff up. You say,
Speaker 1: how do I pray for a future spouse without making
Speaker 1: it about my timing? I say that that God, you
Speaker 1: know my heart, you know my desire. I want a wife.
Speaker 1: I want one and I want one now. But God,
Speaker 1: don't make it about my timing. It's yours. Let it
Speaker 1: be about your timing. Let your will be done, not mine.
Speaker 1: Crush my intentions for someone that I want right now.
Speaker 1: When you bring me someone, you'll bring her at the
Speaker 1: right time. But at the same time, you know me
Speaker 1: and you know that I'm anxious, and I want one
Speaker 1: right now because everyone else has one? God, will you
Speaker 1: relieve that temptation in me? Will you suppress that? Will
Speaker 1: you help me manage that where I'm responsibly looking and dating.
Speaker 1: But I'm not longing too much for something right here
Speaker 1: and now, because that's what my flesh wants, something right
Speaker 1: here now. But God, God, will you give me patience
Speaker 1: in this now? You gotta be careful when you pray
Speaker 1: for patience. Guess how God grants that with extending things
Speaker 1: a long time, because how do you learn patience by
Speaker 1: overcoming long periods of time? But I think it's a
Speaker 1: good prayer, and I think it's a good thought. And
Speaker 1: then the second part is how do I make sure
Speaker 1: I'm doing the right things to be a man of God. Well,
Speaker 1: I put your study of God, you're reading the Bible,
Speaker 1: your prayer life, your church life. I would put that
Speaker 1: in a position in your time block and time in
Speaker 1: your world. I put all that stuff in your world
Speaker 1: in a prominent place. So when you look across your
Speaker 1: week or day to day, you go, if someone else
Speaker 1: took an inventory of my day, if someone took an
Speaker 1: inventory of my time, they said, hey, Granger, give me
Speaker 1: give me a list of everything you did today, and
Speaker 1: then give me a seven day list of everything you
Speaker 1: did this week. Give me the list and we're going
Speaker 1: to audit it. We're going to take a complete inventory
Speaker 1: of your time and we're going to audit it, and
Speaker 1: we'll give you a a database back that shows you
Speaker 1: what is most important in your life. Think about, Think
Speaker 1: about someone did that for you. What results would you
Speaker 1: get back? This just non biased company from the outside
Speaker 1: takes an inventory of your life. What what would they
Speaker 1: tell you? What you Matt, What you want them to
Speaker 1: do is Matt sure loves his God. He put this
Speaker 1: much time into doing this. He reads his Bible, this
Speaker 1: much time. He goes to church, he serves his church,
Speaker 1: he does he studies this. He he's on his knees
Speaker 1: praying for this. And look how much time he's doing it.
Speaker 1: I guess this guy really loves his God. That's what
Speaker 1: you want. Whatever it takes to do that to get
Speaker 1: that result back from this biased, unbiased company. Do that.
Speaker 1: Sliding through some more emails here, I'll go to this
Speaker 1: one right here. This one came in yesterday. A subdecline
Speaker 1: says f U L l I NG fooling the Lord's Will.
Speaker 1: That's what the subdecline says, Hey, Grangderman. Name is Kyla Walters.
Speaker 1: I'm a mother of two. My son just graduated from
Speaker 1: high school. He's a musician and he just started out
Speaker 1: very young singing for the Lord, and now he's gotten
Speaker 1: older and he loves acoustic country. As a mom, I'm
Speaker 1: struggling to know if me supporting him is disappointing to him.
Speaker 1: I see you Russell Dickerson, Walker Hayes, who have a
Speaker 1: love for the Lord and play these concerts with people
Speaker 1: drinking and everything else. I feel guilty as a mom
Speaker 1: encouraging him as he plays for weddings, wineries and tons
Speaker 1: of events Like should I really truly feel guilty. He's
Speaker 1: a great kid with a great head on his shoulders,
Speaker 1: and he would love to make this his full time career.
Speaker 1: But you are stepping away from music to pursue the
Speaker 1: Lord's Will. And I hope that one day he will
Speaker 1: as well. He loves Jesus too, but his passion right
Speaker 1: now is country. I'm probably saying all of this not
Speaker 1: the right way, but I need some advice from yours
Speaker 1: or thoughts to a mom who loves the Lord and
Speaker 1: does what she can to serve the Lord is what
Speaker 1: he's doing pleasing in the Lord's eyes. Kayla Walters, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's Kayla. I think it might be Kyla,
Speaker 1: Kylo Walters. I'll call you Kyla, Kyla, Kyla. Thank you,
Speaker 1: sweet mama, for emailing me about your son. You love
Speaker 1: your son. You are concerned about your son. You're hoping
Speaker 1: he's on the right path. And look, I'm gonna give
Speaker 1: you a little bit of a warning here. Don't helicopter
Speaker 1: this boy. Don't helicopter parent this boy. The greatest gift
Speaker 1: you can give him is to raise him up in
Speaker 1: the Lord and preach him the Gospel, and then let
Speaker 1: him fly. Give him freedom, don't don't micro manage what
Speaker 1: he's doing his choicest look at Look at it this way.
Speaker 1: You're looking at me saying, Granger, you love the Lord,
Speaker 1: and you are giving up music, stepping away to pursue
Speaker 1: the Lord's will. You want me to tell you about
Speaker 1: my mom. My mom supported me to go into music.
Speaker 1: She prayed for me. Pray for your son. Pray for
Speaker 1: your son. Don't tell him what to do. Don't don't
Speaker 1: tell him he's wrong. Don't tell him that what he's
Speaker 1: doing is not pleasing in the Lord's eyes. Because if
Speaker 1: he's if he's doing what he loves and he's doing
Speaker 1: it with passion and praising God while he's doing it,
Speaker 1: then we need men like him in country music. I'm
Speaker 1: a different story. I don't want people to start hearing
Speaker 1: my story and be like, see, if you're a Christian,
Speaker 1: you should leave country music. That's not the It's not
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to represent here. I have an interesting story.
Speaker 1: I have an interesting and interesting calling right and even then,
Speaker 1: I'm just serving my little I got a little local
Speaker 1: church I go to and my pastors are teaching me
Speaker 1: and leading me, and they will eventually affirm over me
Speaker 1: what is going on with my life. So I'm not
Speaker 1: self deceived in that way. But that's a different story.
Speaker 1: If your son is a Christian and he loves the
Speaker 1: Lord and he loves country music, let him go do
Speaker 1: that and be what he needs to be in that
Speaker 1: industry he meaning God. Let God put him in whatever
Speaker 1: industry God needs him to be in, and if he
Speaker 1: gets called out of it, he'll get called out of it.
Speaker 1: But what you could do right now is just love him,
Speaker 1: just support him, tell him you're so pleased with him.
Speaker 1: Now there's limits to that. We'll see what he does,
Speaker 1: but for the most part, support him because it could
Speaker 1: It could hurt you if you don't. He could he
Speaker 1: could start resenting you, or not wanting to call you
Speaker 1: on the phone, or think that you're just judging him
Speaker 1: all the time for for what he wants to do.
Speaker 1: But just let the boy fly. Let the boy fly.
Speaker 1: You gave him wings. Let him fly. Next. Next question,
Speaker 1: subject line says a girl question, Hey Granger, thanks for
Speaker 1: doing the podcast and the time that you put into it.
Speaker 1: I'll try to keep this short if you don't mind,
Speaker 1: I'd like to stay anonymous. From an eighteen year old
Speaker 1: guy from Slave Lake, Alberta, Canada. I tried to ask
Speaker 1: a girl if she wanted to do something for dinner.
Speaker 1: That was the words I used to ask her out,
Speaker 1: he says. We went and it went well, but it
Speaker 1: was clear she only viewed me as another friend in town.
Speaker 1: I was okay with this, but it gave me some
Speaker 1: questions for the future when I ask a girl out,
Speaker 1: girl out? When I ask a girl out, what do
Speaker 1: I say to make it clear about my intentions? Should
Speaker 1: I say? Should I say it? When I ask her,
Speaker 1: or go out a couple of times with her first,
Speaker 1: and then ask her. God blessing. Thanks okay, Anonymous, Thanks brother,
Speaker 1: and I am I'm tracking with you here. I'm following you.
Speaker 1: You asked girl out and you're eighteen, and you went
Speaker 1: out and it was fun, good, but she just looked
Speaker 1: at you as another friend in town. But now you're thinking,
Speaker 1: where did I go wrong? That she thought I was
Speaker 1: just a friend, because I'm not. I don't want to
Speaker 1: be just a friend. Okay, cool, good question. Definitely something
Speaker 1: that they don't teach you in school, something that an
Speaker 1: eighteen year old is going to learn from experience or
Speaker 1: from the Grangersmith podcast. Possibly, if you like a girl
Speaker 1: like I'm assuming you did with this one, you're not
Speaker 1: gonna You're not gonna tell her that when you ask
Speaker 1: her out. That was part of your question. Should I
Speaker 1: say it when I ask her, or go out a
Speaker 1: couple times first and then ask her? I would say,
Speaker 1: if you're first of all, ladies, ladies, ladies, If you're
Speaker 1: eighteen and a boy says you want to go out
Speaker 1: to dinner, let's not assume this is just another friend
Speaker 1: in town asking you out for dinner. Let's just get
Speaker 1: that straight. Come on, come on. So part of my
Speaker 1: answer to you, anonymous, is she knew. There's no way
Speaker 1: she didn't know. But the way that you know that
Speaker 1: she knows is by verbalizing it. So you're at dinner
Speaker 1: and everything's going good and super casual, you say something
Speaker 1: like to be up front so that I don't lead
Speaker 1: people on, or so that people might just in case
Speaker 1: they might get the wrong impression. I just want to
Speaker 1: tell you that. And this is a little embarrassing saying
Speaker 1: it out loud, but I just think you're a really
Speaker 1: great girl, and I'd like to get to know you
Speaker 1: a little bit better. This is as simple as that.
Speaker 1: Like you don't have to say my heart is melting
Speaker 1: for you, or you are the most beautiful maiden I've
Speaker 1: ever seen. You just say that was a little embarrassing,
Speaker 1: but I just want to be upfront, just so you
Speaker 1: know that I just from what I could tell, I
Speaker 1: think you're a really neat girl and just like to
Speaker 1: get to know you better. She's gonna know, right then, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is what he's saying. He's drawing a line in
Speaker 1: the sand, he's laying it out for me. And then
Speaker 1: how she responds, that's that's determines if you you know
Speaker 1: what happens next she might say. She might say, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I get it now, I'm sorry. I thought we were
Speaker 1: just friends. And so I'm glad you said that because
Speaker 1: now this is awkward. But and you'll you'll go, oh, totally, well,
Speaker 1: let's finish a meal and I'll get you back, right.
Speaker 1: I mean weird, but that's good. And then the other
Speaker 1: way is the other thing is you know, she goes, well,
Speaker 1: it's funny you say that, because I think you're you're
Speaker 1: kind of a neat guy too, and i'd like to
Speaker 1: get to know you. Boom. Now you're off to phase two,
Speaker 1: you know, and it's like, well, maybe we should do
Speaker 1: this again sometime. How's Wednesday? Yeah, Wednesday's good? Okay, cool, great,
Speaker 1: see Wednesday. Great, It's really good. If you do this,
Speaker 1: it's it's pulling off a band aid in some sort
Speaker 1: and and it's it might be it's definitely a little
Speaker 1: socially awkward to do it, but but it should go
Speaker 1: without saying that. If she says yes to a dinner
Speaker 1: date on it with one guy going dinner. If she
Speaker 1: says yes, to your invitation. She is being set up
Speaker 1: for you to ask a question like this, so you're
Speaker 1: not wrong to ask her if you if you tracked
Speaker 1: her down, she's like doing a jog in the park
Speaker 1: and you tracked her down in the park and he said, hey, hey, Hey,
Speaker 1: can you stop one second. Hey, I think you're a
Speaker 1: really neat girl and I'd like to get to know
Speaker 1: you a little bit better. Then then that's weird. Right
Speaker 1: Then she'd be like weird, get away from me. But
Speaker 1: if she says yes to your dinner invitation and she's
Speaker 1: sitting with you one on one on a dinner date,
Speaker 1: and then it's okay to ask a question like that's
Speaker 1: not awkward. At least it shouldn't be. Wish you're the
Speaker 1: best brother. Let's go another question here at subject line,
Speaker 1: and this one says death and new life trials and faith.
Speaker 1: Hey Granger, thanks for taking time to read this. My
Speaker 1: family has been facing a roller coaster of events recently
Speaker 1: and i'd love to get your advice on the situation.
Speaker 1: On April eighth, my wife's parents were in a tragic
Speaker 1: snow bill snowmobile accident where we unexpectedly lost her mother.
Speaker 1: Three days later, my wife, who was thirty six weeks pregnant,
Speaker 1: went into labor and welcomed our third child. Fast forward
Speaker 1: to April twentieth, our baby experienced a random abnick episode.
Speaker 1: Sorry I don't know what that means, and was rushed
Speaker 1: to the children's hospital that day before the funeral. Fortunately,
Speaker 1: he returned home a few days ago and is now
Speaker 1: doing fine. But my wife is struggling to cope with
Speaker 1: everything that has happened and has started questioning her faith.
Speaker 1: I've been trying to stay close to scripture to help
Speaker 1: myself navigate this, but I'm struggling to figure out how
Speaker 1: to help my wife navigate her doubts. I remember in
Speaker 1: a previous episode you mentioned turning the why questions into
Speaker 1: what questions. I think that is relevant to the situation,
Speaker 1: but I'm unsure how to guide her to that. Do
Speaker 1: you have any advice on what I can do as
Speaker 1: a husband to support my wife through this way in
Speaker 1: a way that helps her restore her faith. I appreciate
Speaker 1: any advice you have. Thanks for all you do, Den Devin,
Speaker 1: great question man, Thank you, Thank you for emailing and
Speaker 1: open it up in this way, and I hope you're listening. Now.
Speaker 1: Let me start with your very last thing that you said,
Speaker 1: just this is an encouragement. The very last thing you
Speaker 1: said was, do you have any advice on what I
Speaker 1: can do as a husband to support my wife through
Speaker 1: this in a way that helps restore her faith. Well,
Speaker 1: you just need to know, as an encouragement to you
Speaker 1: that you can't restore her faith. And I hope you
Speaker 1: know that you can't do it. That's a good thing,
Speaker 1: Like praise God. You don't have the power to restore
Speaker 1: her faith. Okay, God does that, so that takes the
Speaker 1: pressure off. What you can do is support her. That's
Speaker 1: the other word you used. Good. You support her, but
Speaker 1: you can't restore her. Okay, say that. Please say that
Speaker 1: to yourself, preach that to yourself. I can support her,
Speaker 1: but I can't restore her. There's things I can do,
Speaker 1: and I will, and I'll go tirelessly until I see
Speaker 1: some results with her. I will. I will pour myself
Speaker 1: into her and support, support, support, but I cannot, as
Speaker 1: a man, do the restoring. It's so good to know that, right,
Speaker 1: It's so good just to know that. It puts you
Speaker 1: in a better position because now you're setting yourself up
Speaker 1: for success, not failure, because if you set yourself up
Speaker 1: to restore her, you will fail, and then you'll feel
Speaker 1: like a failure. Okay, let's dive into this tragedy has
Speaker 1: struck your family in a couple different ways, this snowmobile accident.
Speaker 1: It's terrible and I'm so sorry. This is April eighth.
Speaker 1: That's positive. If there is a positive in this, it's
Speaker 1: that it was on April eighth, because as I'm reading this,
Speaker 1: we're only a couple months after that. That's good. Meaning
Speaker 1: if this was ten years later, that's a problem. That's
Speaker 1: another problem. We address it in a different way. But
Speaker 1: we're just a few months and so first of all,
Speaker 1: I just want you to remember that as a husband,
Speaker 1: as her best friend, what you're gonna do now is
Speaker 1: just be there and listen. Be there and listen and support.
Speaker 1: Don't You don't have to have magic words, you don't
Speaker 1: have to fix things, be on guard so that you
Speaker 1: could have here's the Bible. Oh, here's the scripture that
Speaker 1: here you go. This is what you need, and we
Speaker 1: need to go out and we need to do this
Speaker 1: therapy together. We need to do me You're only a
Speaker 1: couple months out from a really crazy month and you're
Speaker 1: just gonna be You're just gonna be there to sit
Speaker 1: with her, just sit with her. Now, this is not empathy.
Speaker 1: Empathy is she's sinking in the quicksand and you get
Speaker 1: both feet and you jump in the quicksand with her,
Speaker 1: and you hold her and you say, well, let's just
Speaker 1: go down together, baby. This is sympathy. And this is different.
Speaker 1: Sympathy is she's sinking in the quicksand you got one
Speaker 1: foot on dry land rock, and then you got one
Speaker 1: foot in the sand with her, and you grab her
Speaker 1: arm and you say, I'm with you. I'm here in
Speaker 1: the quicksand with you. I feel you, but I also
Speaker 1: got one foot in the rock and I am here
Speaker 1: to help pull you out. Right. That's sympathy versus empathy.
Speaker 1: We need to make sure that we know the difference here.
Speaker 1: So we got sitting with her, We've got supporting her,
Speaker 1: we got listening to her. And then I want you
Speaker 1: to know something. I say this in almost every podcast,
Speaker 1: but it's it's so important to to show what we
Speaker 1: what sometimes we're missing in the Christian faith, and that
Speaker 1: is lamenting we miss as Christians, as modern day Christians,
Speaker 1: we miss the part of the Bible that's that's about lamenting, right. Instead,
Speaker 1: we tend to talk in Christianese and I can't stand it.
Speaker 1: I can't stand talk the Christianese talk. Oh, you need
Speaker 1: to just stand on first, Peter. Make sure that you
Speaker 1: are always you know, make the Lord is the foundation
Speaker 1: of what it's like. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Man. I'm just
Speaker 1: I'm just sad right now. I'm just sad. So if
Speaker 1: you do that, you're missing the lament of the Bible.
Speaker 1: And it's such a big part that we're supposed to see.
Speaker 1: Look at this Psalm thirteen. Okay, Psalm thirteen. I'm read
Speaker 1: the whole thing real quick, just so we could remember
Speaker 1: the lament of the Bible. And we see a lot
Speaker 1: of this in the Psalms. Look verse one. How long,
Speaker 1: O Lord, will you forget me forever? How long will
Speaker 1: you hide your face from me? How long must I
Speaker 1: take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my
Speaker 1: heart all day? How long shall my enemy be exalted
Speaker 1: over me? Consider and answer me, O, Lord, my God,
Speaker 1: lift up my eyes lest I sleep the sleep of death.
Speaker 1: Lest my enemy say I have prevailed over him, Lest
Speaker 1: my foes rejoice because I am shaken. Watch the switch
Speaker 1: in verse five. But I have trusted in your steadfast love.
Speaker 1: My heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing
Speaker 1: to the Lord because he has dealt bountifully with me. Okay,
Speaker 1: so we see the lament, the felt reality. This is
Speaker 1: what I feel. Oh God, how long will you forgive
Speaker 1: me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
Speaker 1: Because right now my family is struggling. How long, oh Lord?
Speaker 1: And then you make sure that you get that one
Speaker 1: foot on the rock right, one foot in the sand,
Speaker 1: one foot on the rock. But I have trusted in
Speaker 1: your steadfast love. My heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
Speaker 1: So important, y'all. And then we go to one of
Speaker 1: the famous ones. Psal I'm twenty two, He says, My God,
Speaker 1: my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you
Speaker 1: so far from saving me from the words of my groaning? Oh?
Speaker 1: My God, I cry by day but you do not answer,
Speaker 1: And by night but I find no rest. Yet you
Speaker 1: are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. Right that
Speaker 1: you see the switch, You're in the sand, and you
Speaker 1: got one foot on the rock. Jesus affirms this. On
Speaker 1: the cross. Jesus says this, my God, my God, why
Speaker 1: have you forsaken me? It's like he's singing the first
Speaker 1: verse of a famous song. He's affirming that David was
Speaker 1: right in his heart to lament, So don't forget. We
Speaker 1: cannot forget to lament. We can't forget that when we
Speaker 1: have sympathy for someone, we're in the quicksand with them.
Speaker 1: But we got one foot on the rock. Okay, listen,
Speaker 1: support her, lament with her, lead her to the parts
Speaker 1: of the Bible like this that say, my God, why
Speaker 1: are you so far? Okay, it's okay to say that.
Speaker 1: It's okay to say that, But then after a few
Speaker 1: months go by, it's a different conversation and we could
Speaker 1: have that on the next podcast. Love you guys next time.
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate
Speaker 1: all of you guys. You could help me out by
Speaker 1: rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe
Speaker 1: to this channel, hit that little like button and the
Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload
Speaker 1: a video. If you have a question for me that
Speaker 1: you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Yi