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Speaker 1: Two hopeless one dating app then dares you, guys swipe right.

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Speaker 2: The question is whose love life is more tragic.

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Speaker 3: It's Battle of the Tinder Dates.

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Speaker 4: It's the dating segment that's turning foam pool noodles into

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Speaker 4: a kinky Chinese finger trap. Battle of the Tinder Dates right,

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Speaker 4: where two of our listeners square off to find out

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Speaker 4: whose love life is the most tragic. We'll explain the

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Speaker 4: rules in just a second, but first let's meet today's contestants.

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Speaker 4: In this corner, his ideal first date is cuddling up

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Speaker 4: on the couch, lightening some candles and watching his own

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Speaker 4: birthing video Born Again, Glen.

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Speaker 1: What book is that on VHS.

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Speaker 4: DVD that you put on you?

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Speaker 1: Brook wants to watch?

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Speaker 4: And in the other corner, after four wardrobe malfunctions at work,

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Speaker 4: everybody learned his lean slightly to the right. Oh that's

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Speaker 4: why the ladies call him italics Alex.

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Speaker 1: Hey, guys, ironically kind of like a lefty.

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Speaker 4: Here's how the game works. One contestant we'll start by

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Speaker 4: telling one of their worst date stories. Than the other

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Speaker 4: will try and counter with a nightmare story of their own.

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Speaker 4: We're gonna go back and forth for three rounds until

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Speaker 4: we declare a winner. Pool noodles away. Let's get things

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Speaker 4: started with born Again Glenn.

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Speaker 3: Let's go Okay.

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Speaker 1: So I was out with this girl who asked if

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Speaker 1: she could pray before our meal.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, your name makes so much sense now,

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Speaker 4: all right, she wants.

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Speaker 3: To pray and anyway.

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Speaker 2: I was just like okay, sure, like why not? But

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Speaker 2: then her.

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Speaker 1: Prayer lasted for ten minutes.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow.

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Speaker 2: So she prayed for everyone in her family, in my family,

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Speaker 2: and prayed for our bosses.

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Speaker 1: And prayed for our past teachers.

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Speaker 4: Wow, I'm impressed you can remember that many names.

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Speaker 1: She even prayed for every single piece of brussels sprout

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Speaker 1: on my plate to nurse.

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Speaker 4: My body piece to make it taste better. I can't

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Speaker 4: say it an you count.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. So one time I was on a date with

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Speaker 3: this really cute girl. You know, she was on her

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Speaker 3: phone a lot, which kind of bugged me, but I

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Speaker 3: was like, oh, maybe it's important. I didn't think anything

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Speaker 3: of it. But then in the middle of the date,

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Speaker 3: I got a text from one of my buddies saying, Oh,

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Speaker 3: you won't believe this hot girl I just got a

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Speaker 3: date with for tomorrow. And he sends the picture of her,

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Speaker 3: and it's the profile picture of the girl I was

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Speaker 3: on a date.

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Speaker 4: She was swiping at the table. Please tell me.

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Speaker 3: You took a picture of her sitting across I'm not

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Speaker 3: that fly. I couldn't get a.

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Speaker 4: Your friend could do the pool noodle trick together. Let's

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Speaker 4: go around too, Glenn, We're back to you.

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Speaker 1: So I'm at dinner with this girl and she said,

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Speaker 1: before we start our official date, we need this, and

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Speaker 1: she pulls out a kitchen timer. What And she puts

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Speaker 1: the kitchen timer on the table and then explains to

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Speaker 1: me that sometimes in the past dates have told.

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Speaker 2: Her that she talks too much.

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Speaker 3: Shut up, Yeah, before.

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Speaker 2: Any story, she's gonna set the kitchen timer for two minutes.

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Speaker 2: And sure enough she did it and it worked.

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Speaker 4: How is this not a positive? But she must like

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Speaker 4: rush through all of her stories, like okay, so I

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Speaker 4: was going over here and then I can do that?

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Speaker 3: Did happen?

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Speaker 2: And then a few times she got disappointed that she

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Speaker 2: couldn't finish the story in time, But then when the

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Speaker 2: buzzer went off, she was like, okay, well I respect

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Speaker 2: the time. Sold that ship, all right, we're.

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Speaker 4: Cutting you up at the time or Alex back to you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So one time I was getting drink set with a

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Speaker 3: girl at a bar, but then she asked if she

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Speaker 3: could live stream her date for her Instagram followers. Oh god,

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Speaker 3: it's a lot on a date. I thought she was joking,

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Speaker 3: so I was like, yeah, sure, whatever, but she did it.

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Speaker 3: While she was live streaming, she was getting questions and

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Speaker 3: comments from her followers up. Yeah, wait a minute, alexis

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Speaker 3: are you on that stream watching me?

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Speaker 1: Man?

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Speaker 4: You loved reality shows?

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Speaker 1: Were they?

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Speaker 4: At least comments? Not really?

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Speaker 3: One of the comments was like, oh you could do

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Speaker 3: so much better.

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Speaker 4: Yes, I'm glad that they were lifting her up.

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Speaker 3: All right.

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Speaker 4: We were on to our third and final round. That

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Speaker 4: means we need your best stories here, gentlemen, Glenn, what

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Speaker 4: have you got?

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Speaker 3: Okay?

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Speaker 1: I met a girl who told me she's really close

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Speaker 1: with our family.

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Speaker 4: Red flag Okay, sorry, sorry, keep going.

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Speaker 1: On our second date, she invited me to a group

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Speaker 1: activity with her family, and I'm thinking that's a little

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Speaker 1: early for this, but like, why not, I'll just be

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Speaker 1: cool about it.

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Speaker 2: So I go to her house and I get introduced to.

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Speaker 1: Her parents, her brother, and a woman who said she

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Speaker 1: was a therapist.

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Speaker 4: Huh.

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Speaker 2: So then we all sat down together for a group

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Speaker 2: family therapy session.

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Speaker 4: Well that's healthy. On the first date, you could think

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Speaker 4: about it. You just got free therapy. Yeah, that's hard

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Speaker 4: to come by. You have a big breakthrough in front

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Speaker 4: of their family. Let me.

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Speaker 2: At first, I was thinking like, okay, I probably need

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Speaker 2: to leave it. It was so weird that I just stayed.

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Speaker 1: Because it was more entertaining than anything i'd find on Netflix.

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Speaker 1: You knew you'd give me able to tell the story,

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Speaker 1: and you did on the REDA.

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Speaker 4: Hey, do you mind if I grab some popcorn real quick?

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Speaker 4: But don't keep talking about your childhood.

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Speaker 3: Your cousins say.

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Speaker 4: About her, Alex, this is our last chance.

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Speaker 3: One time I was at a dinner and in the

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Speaker 3: middle of the date, she pulls out a book from

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Speaker 3: her purse, right, and she prefases it like you're going

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Speaker 3: to think I'm crazy. Oh, it's always a good start. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: The whole thing is a scrap book, and on every

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Speaker 3: single page she printed out pictures from our dating profiles

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Speaker 3: and put them on other people's bodies. It's like me

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Speaker 3: and her at the Eiffel Power, like on a beach vacation.

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Speaker 3: And then the last one, and there's one with us

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Speaker 3: with two kids in the park.

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Speaker 4: Oh, congratulations on your family, dude.

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Speaker 3: We're all proud for there it is.

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Speaker 4: That's the final bell that means the matches over judges.

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Speaker 4: Let's score this, alexis. Who's your vote for? I'm going Alex?

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Speaker 3: The live stream dates one for Alex.

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Speaker 4: I'm going Alex with a scrapbook girl. Congratulations itals Alex.

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Speaker 4: You are are red flag bag Magnet of the week

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Speaker 4: and Brook will now give you one piece of unsolicited,

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Speaker 4: unhelpful dating advice. Yeah yeap, just be yourself terrible brotext

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Speaker 4: in the seven, eight, five, nine two if you want

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Speaker 4: up here on the next edition of Battle of the

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Speaker 4: Tender dates your phone taps coming up right after this

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Speaker 1: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning