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Speaker 1: Welcome to Ja Dot Do a production of I Heart Radio.

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Speaker 1: What how is everybody? I hope you well this is

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Speaker 1: just that and Aga Graydon Danceler and Ya st Clair. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we discovered we have been here together having conversations, sparking conversation.

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Speaker 1: We are talking about punishment today. Punishment. Man, I know

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Speaker 1: that I got about four four spanking in my lifetime.

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Speaker 1: Well I mean as a child. As a child, I

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Speaker 1: got about about four. I'm I'm gonna, you know, uh

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Speaker 1: give extra just to say it. Maybe five, but I

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Speaker 1: think it's like four. Um My, my, my mom never

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Speaker 1: really had to to deal with me like that. You know,

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Speaker 1: I got smacked once when I said that I hated her.

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Speaker 1: Um that was smack worthy, I felt afterwards. But you

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Speaker 1: know that teenage angst and not that you know, I'm

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Speaker 1: a grown up, which I wasn't. But nonetheless, like I got,

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Speaker 1: I got let let known be known that I was

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Speaker 1: not to an adult. Um, I think I got a spanking.

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Speaker 1: Oh boy, Oh yeah, I did something really terrible to

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Speaker 1: my cousin Lynnwood, and uh, I gotta spank you for that.

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Speaker 1: That was worth it, Like it was observed. It It's

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Speaker 1: it's the name Linn wood for me. I'm just gonna man,

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Speaker 1: I love it. My cousin Lynn woold, he sounds like

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Speaker 1: a child on a sweater vest. Oh um, come on,

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Speaker 1: but it was enough. It was enough. Jet has, my

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Speaker 1: son has had far more than I ever had. Um,

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Speaker 1: we should weapon a choice, jail. I'm so curious. Okay.

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Speaker 1: So Mr Black became a part of our lives when

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Speaker 1: when Jet lost his mind on a plane. Yeah, he

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Speaker 1: he went. He went all the way there. Oh it

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Speaker 1: was a long flight, and he was showing his royal

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Speaker 1: regal also, and we had not had any issues like that.

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Speaker 1: I said no, no, no, and he goes, You know,

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Speaker 1: everything was fine. But this day, my god, oh boy,

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Speaker 1: that boy embarrassed me so much. And he kept it

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Speaker 1: up until we got in the car and I said

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Speaker 1: in the car we had a forty five minute ride home,

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Speaker 1: I said, listen, when we get home, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: spank you. And he said it call spank me mommy.

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Speaker 1: I said, yes I am. And he got his little iPad.

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Speaker 1: I said, enjoy. He got his little iPad and he

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Speaker 1: played his little games and a few minutes later he

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Speaker 1: was like you, he called me mom. I said, yes

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Speaker 1: I am, Yes, yes, I am oh yes, And when

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Speaker 1: I finally got home, um, Mr Black was born. Mr

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Speaker 1: Black is a slipper with a plastic bottom. Yep, and

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Speaker 1: he is never ever acted like that again. There are

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Speaker 1: repercussions to actions, and I always say as a parent

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Speaker 1: that i'm i'm, I'm here to save your life. The

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Speaker 1: repercussions out in these streets are way worse than this

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Speaker 1: little moment. And I try to make sure that the

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Speaker 1: conversation that's had before the spanking was so so, so deep.

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Speaker 1: Then he expected it wanted it will prefer the spanking

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Speaker 1: over the conversation because I gotta I gotta explain what's

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Speaker 1: happening here and why it's happening, and the realities that

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Speaker 1: this society is so dog on treacherous that a spanking

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Speaker 1: could shoot that could be the blessing right there. I

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Speaker 1: want to make sure that you don't make that mistake again,

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Speaker 1: that you know who you're dealing with, you know. So, yep,

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Speaker 1: that's what to begin. He was about four and a

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Speaker 1: half about some slippers. It's a nice alternative weapon. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: at eleven, we are out of that, and I pray

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Speaker 1: that that is that remains what it is. Now we

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Speaker 1: can have conversations. I could take things away. He understands

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Speaker 1: what we're talking about. And the look still works. The

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Speaker 1: looks still work. Mr Black, he still lives here. He

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Speaker 1: lives here, Like Mr Black put him up on the shelf,

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Speaker 1: like have a little light on him. He still seems here.

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Speaker 1: Some death, some uplight on Mr Black. Yeah, so it's

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Speaker 1: just as you walk by. It's just a tactic. It's

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Speaker 1: all just so you can know he can come down

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Speaker 1: at any time. My thing is, I never got spankings.

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Speaker 1: I never got spankings as a kid, did not. I

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Speaker 1: think I probably got tapped on the leg, you know

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Speaker 1: when I'm trying to crawl and grab something. No relatives, asia,

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Speaker 1: not a aren't, not a nobody, not No one was

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Speaker 1: allowed to spank me. My father could not touch us.

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Speaker 1: My mother yeah, you know, like my mom was really

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Speaker 1: pretty heavy on don't touch my kids because if I

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Speaker 1: ain't touching them, you ain't touching touching them, or I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna touch you. So yeah, it was not It was

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Speaker 1: not a village room. No, no villages going. My mother's

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Speaker 1: like I'm the chief of the god Dad going village. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, no, I didn't get spankers as a kid,

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Speaker 1: and I probably was bad and probably did deserve a

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Speaker 1: little bit of it, but um, I didn't get spankings.

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Speaker 1: I did get the thirteen year old slap though, mm hmmm.

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Speaker 1: I did get the slap the helfer. You don't know

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Speaker 1: me like that, that that you don't know me like

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Speaker 1: that when your mom had to step to you, like

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Speaker 1: you a whole, like you like when your mom stepped

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Speaker 1: to you, like when she give you that Sis looks

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Speaker 1: Sis says yeah, because like you you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: And I always say, you're not really uh, you really

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Speaker 1: haven't gotten to like that. Like motherhood is awesome and everything,

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Speaker 1: but like I feel like you get to motherhood, actual

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Speaker 1: motherhood the first time that you cut your kid out

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Speaker 1: in your in your head like they're a whole person

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Speaker 1: in the street, like you don't let it come out

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Speaker 1: saying but in your head, you like you walling you

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Speaker 1: like motherfucker, you don't you know what I'm saying, Like

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Speaker 1: when you in your head and you like you know

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Speaker 1: in the movies where they'd be rocking back and forth

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Speaker 1: like they're about to just like it's about to get rocks.

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Speaker 1: So I feel like that's like the turnograund for that.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I have six kids. Those of y'all listening

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Speaker 1: who don't know these lovely ladies already know how many

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Speaker 1: chilling chillings I have. And I want to say, May

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Speaker 1: God bless Jet and all the first boom Wars because

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Speaker 1: Mr Black and all his cousins and uncles they work.

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Speaker 1: But see that the real test is when you get

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Speaker 1: that kid that eats Mr Black, which the kid who

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Speaker 1: gets hit by Mr Black, and they look you and

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Speaker 1: y'all a like, nigga, what happened? I had a child

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Speaker 1: like that? Because you supposed to think that, like as

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Speaker 1: far as I knew when that used to happen to me,

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Speaker 1: even if it didn't hurt you. No, No, this child

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Speaker 1: was born. When her eyes open, you feel me, and

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Speaker 1: I mean that that's not that's not like colorful language.

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Speaker 1: Can I ask if she do it more than once?

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Speaker 1: Because I just think it once she saw to look

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Speaker 1: on your face? Did she do it more? It was listen. First,

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Speaker 1: First she used to eat the spankings. That's number one, ship,

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Speaker 1: she realized. Then she realized a better way to punish

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Speaker 1: everybody was to literally have a fit after getting a spanking.

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Speaker 1: So the spanking would induce an actual tantrum that would

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Speaker 1: last so long that the father would be like, Lord,

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Speaker 1: just I can't think, I can't do not the lord,

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Speaker 1: just shut up? What you want? You want a cookie?

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Speaker 1: You want to crack? Where are you? So I feel

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Speaker 1: like punishment in my house has evolved. It has evolved

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Speaker 1: with the personalities and the experiences of said child, and

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Speaker 1: so I had to be very flexible about understanding what

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Speaker 1: worked for whom and experimental and that's been thinking outside

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Speaker 1: of the box sometimes and for black parents that can

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Speaker 1: be us because we really do, like most people, I'm sure,

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Speaker 1: pattern our behavior based on how we were raised. So

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Speaker 1: that's the thing. And that's funny you say that because

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Speaker 1: I had I had a conversation that about whoopings that

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Speaker 1: took me back because I'm like, y'all, I was, you know, switches,

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Speaker 1: yard stick, uh belt And for me, it just grewing

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Speaker 1: into respect for my mom, like I always, I just

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Speaker 1: grew up with the whole thing. My mom is half

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Speaker 1: my size. But I was proud that I was scared

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Speaker 1: of her, you know what I mean, Like I lover.

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Speaker 1: It was nothing, you know, And so it's interesting I

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Speaker 1: had a conversation recently. Um, that's some certain celebrity. And

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Speaker 1: they started talking about the history of whoopings and how

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Speaker 1: black people learned how to discipline based on how they

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Speaker 1: were disciplined on plantations and stuff like that. And lord,

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Speaker 1: I just want to say, I went and took this

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Speaker 1: conversation to my mother and it was her reaction was

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Speaker 1: so I felt so bad afterwards, like she was. She

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Speaker 1: was kind of sad and mad about it in a way.

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Speaker 1: I guess she took offense to it. Say, you know,

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Speaker 1: in a way of saying like, Okay, so what these

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Speaker 1: people today they think they're better than us because they

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Speaker 1: can just talk to their children down or something like,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like, it was just a

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Speaker 1: moment where I realized I was like, Okay, I have

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Speaker 1: to think about how they had this conversation with my

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Speaker 1: own mother and let her know that I still respect

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Speaker 1: the way that I was raised. Although now people are

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Speaker 1: saying thing different things about Wooman's and that's not something

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Speaker 1: we should. I'm just I just I'm just curious what

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Speaker 1: y'all think about that, because I just never thought of

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Speaker 1: life without who well. Um. According to Cape Town et

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Speaker 1: Cetera dot com, the Constitutional Court of South Africa has

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Speaker 1: ruled that the common defense of reasonable and moderate parental

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Speaker 1: chastisement of children is now unconstitutional. The Unanimous The unanimous

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Speaker 1: judgment was handed down on Wednesday, September eighteen. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what year this was. I think it was two

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Speaker 1: thousand seventeen when the court ruled that there are more

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Speaker 1: reasonable ways to discipline shoot. I think that there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of reasonable ways to discipline children. I don't think

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Speaker 1: that you should be in anybody's house though. I'm not

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Speaker 1: talking about beaten with Somebody is knocking the fool out

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Speaker 1: of you and hitting you with an iron, and you

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Speaker 1: know it's crazy stuff. I'm not I'm not talking about

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Speaker 1: knocking somebody out. I'm just talking about papa. Don't touch that,

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Speaker 1: stay away from that, you know. Um, I think I

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Speaker 1: think for me anyway, his safety. I just got this one,

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Speaker 1: this one, so I'm a little nerve this. I was

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Speaker 1: a little nervous in the beginning about his safety, you know,

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Speaker 1: making sure that he popped his hand, if he didn't

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Speaker 1: look both ways crossing the street, you know that kind

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Speaker 1: of stuff. I want you to stay alive. You do

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Speaker 1: not stick a fork if they outlet you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean, things like that, UM, for his safety. And

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Speaker 1: then later on I felt like, I need you to

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Speaker 1: understand that the ramifications for the actions could be ways.

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Speaker 1: This action could be way worse than this moment. So

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Speaker 1: get it all together, and I'm grateful that those times happen. UM.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure people will have a major argument about, UM,

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Speaker 1: how you gain respect from a child? UM. But when

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Speaker 1: I look at the animal kingdom, um, mother lions are

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Speaker 1: throwing their little cubs all around, and get there and

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Speaker 1: get to get them in check. You know, when I

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Speaker 1: look at the animal kingdom, this is a part of

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Speaker 1: rearing a new cub. And I'm I'm a mammal too,

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So you know, I don't feel

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Speaker 1: worse for wear for getting a couple of spankings that

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Speaker 1: I got. I don't want anymore. And even now, as

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Speaker 1: as you know a forty eight year old woman, there

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Speaker 1: is only so much you know, uh, tough talk. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna talk to my mother. I love inside of her

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Speaker 1: for me, and I'm going out of my way to

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Speaker 1: give her a hard time. No, sun, no, ma'am, I'm

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Speaker 1: not doing it. I do believe that my mother would

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Speaker 1: literally you know, kill me if she had to. And

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Speaker 1: I killed for you and killed for me that part

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Speaker 1: out of love. And I try to remind you every

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Speaker 1: now and then. I'm crazy. Yeah, I mean my kids

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Speaker 1: have been reminded many times like this. It could get

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Speaker 1: real wild up in here, you know, so please is

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Speaker 1: don't please believe it. I just think that the way

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Speaker 1: that I was, you know, I married young, I had

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Speaker 1: my children young. My mentality about punishment just has just

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Speaker 1: really evolved over the years, just because number one, I

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Speaker 1: had to go with what worked and everything that not

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Speaker 1: the same tactics and not work with everybody. And I

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Speaker 1: also had to really live in the understanding that um

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Speaker 1: my little black children are being like overly punished, overly police,

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Speaker 1: overlooked at by everybody. And when I say police, I

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Speaker 1: don't mean just the actual police. Every part of their

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Speaker 1: life is just constantly watch your watch yourself, do this,

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Speaker 1: don't do this, don't wear this, don't say this, don't that.

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Speaker 1: I had to kind of be aware of how much

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Speaker 1: trauma and how much of that policing that I was

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Speaker 1: doing on them, and how that's very straining and it

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Speaker 1: causes a lot more trauma than we're ready to deal

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Speaker 1: with as a community, and I think that we don't

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Speaker 1: have a way of really helping a lot of people

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Speaker 1: understand that there is you know that that there's a

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Speaker 1: difference between So we might say a kid with a

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Speaker 1: little papa pa pap, but in some houses Papa pa

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Speaker 1: pa pap is okay to have with a cast iron pipe, right,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, And that for them, that

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Speaker 1: is indicative of not sparing, sparing, not sparing the rod,

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Speaker 1: and spoiling the child. And so I think that we

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Speaker 1: gotta take a good look at this thing, not in

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Speaker 1: a judgmental way, because I think what happens is that

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Speaker 1: people who don't spank, they have a tendency to come

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Speaker 1: off like you're abusive. That's violence, and this is what

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Speaker 1: white people touch you to do. And especially how everything

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Speaker 1: is being re evaluated, all of our actions, all of

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Speaker 1: what we thought with traditional norms are being reevaluated. So

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Speaker 1: again that's why I'm bringing this up to I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean honestly, like I was in this in this

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Speaker 1: this class other day and they were saying that modernity

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Speaker 1: is is in in its adolescence right now. So the

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Speaker 1: modern modern thinking is actually very new. So I think

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Speaker 1: some of the things that we think that we some

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Speaker 1: of the changes that we've made as a as a society,

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Speaker 1: we don't understand that we're still getting there, that there's

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Speaker 1: no like that, that that it's okay for us to

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Speaker 1: say that wasn't okay, and we want to do something different,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And I had a really

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Speaker 1: interesting experience with two of my children in which that

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Speaker 1: kind of corporal push punishment and the thing about spankings

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Speaker 1: and stuff really flipped on me and made me have

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Speaker 1: to come to terms with the fact that I was

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Speaker 1: going to have to use my brain and I was

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Speaker 1: gonna have to walk my way through this, and I

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Speaker 1: was gonna have to question the very core of how

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Speaker 1: I communicated with others and how I empathized with others.

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Speaker 1: And it transformed me. I cannot lie, Can I lie? My? My?

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Speaker 1: My youngest three children don't get spankings at all, And

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Speaker 1: that youngest one, I promise you, he tests all of

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Speaker 1: the boundaries around that, but he does not catch them.

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Speaker 1: The older ones getting mad that the younger ones don't done. Hell, yes,

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Speaker 1: they'd be like what they asked, what they like ship

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Speaker 1: didn't go. I don't know what my mom may dad

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Speaker 1: getting soft? They like, sis don't know sis. Listen, my oldest,

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Speaker 1: my my youngest will say something and my youngest will

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Speaker 1: turn his head around quick as a mug, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna let that slide. Let that slide, okay. Jent

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Speaker 1: is so funny that my my nephew lives here with us.

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Speaker 1: Jen is so funny that he'll pull his cousin aside

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Speaker 1: to be like, listen, you're you're you're you're nine. I'm

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Speaker 1: out the game, I'm out the spanking game, but you're

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Speaker 1: still in. You don't want this, go apologize now, get

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Speaker 1: it together now. And it tickles me my sister, and

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Speaker 1: now we laugh so hard at the two of them,

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Speaker 1: Jet trying to help his cousin out, like, listen, man,

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Speaker 1: I think so too, Like man, you don't want to

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Speaker 1: be like me, Miss Sophie, I mean not Miss Sophia

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Speaker 1: saying you don't want to be like you're we end

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Speaker 1: up like me. You don't want what I've been through? Yes,

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Speaker 1: ah no he didn't. He could probably count his if

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Speaker 1: he you know, probably, I'm like, it's probably like a

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Speaker 1: hand and a half, you know, But I'm so grateful

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Speaker 1: that these conversations happened so that he can fully understand

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Speaker 1: I'm not just popping you for no good reason. I'm

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Speaker 1: popping you because you need to feel this. You need

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Speaker 1: to understand it, and you need to feel it. There

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Speaker 1: are ramifications for your actions, absolutely, and that's fair to

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Speaker 1: say you are. As we're having a conversation, I'm just

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Speaker 1: thinking and digging into you know, me, me and my

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Speaker 1: mom and our own relationship. It's interesting because I do

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Speaker 1: think now in retrospect, I'm like a lot of times

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Speaker 1: those spankings did did replace some good old conversation. So

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Speaker 1: now as an adult watching the way, oh god, mommy,

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Speaker 1: don't listen to this episode, but watching watching sometimes away

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Speaker 1: that my mother handles situations, I'm like, okay, after this said,

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Speaker 1: are you blowing up? Let's sit here and have a conversation, lady,

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Speaker 1: and she just it's something that's new. It's something that's new. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my kid, My kid pulled my tail, my coattail and

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Speaker 1: said to me once, I wish you could have the

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Speaker 1: same patience with me that you have with that younger one. Wow. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it said to me, hey, that that patience that you

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Speaker 1: have there, and I had to tell him I said, listen,

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Speaker 1: I've learned this patience you want me, you want I

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Speaker 1: have learned that, and I've come to understand it in

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Speaker 1: a different way, and so I just I had to

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Speaker 1: take that hit and I had to shift my behavior

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Speaker 1: because a kid gets Your children do get older, and

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Speaker 1: they do begin and if you are if you are

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Speaker 1: establishing a relationship of communication, they will communicate, but you

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Speaker 1: have to be ready for what they're going to communicate.

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Speaker 1: But one thing I'm I'm figuring out also is that

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Speaker 1: quote unquote undesirable behavior that we need to kind of

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Speaker 1: be more about finding out the root of that if

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Speaker 1: if the if the behavior is about curiosity, or the

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Speaker 1: behavior is about maybe they had a bad day of school,

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Speaker 1: or maybe the behavior is I saw something that I'm

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Speaker 1: confused by or whatever. Right that the conversation around that

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Speaker 1: is useful to start there, because what you're teaching them

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Speaker 1: is to identify their feelings and emotions, things that a

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Speaker 1: lot of us go down the line and pay a

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Speaker 1: lot of money and therapy to figure out how to do.

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Speaker 1: We just started talking. This is the crazy point. Like

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Speaker 1: even the way that you're speaking Asia, like us as

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Speaker 1: black people, our generation really just started to have these

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Speaker 1: kind of conversations out loud. You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: I just started thinking about that. I'm like, of course,

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Speaker 1: for different generations before us, you know, depending on what

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Speaker 1: the situation was and what your work situation is. I

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Speaker 1: don't tom sitting here and talk to you about why

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Speaker 1: and would. I'm just gonna whip your ass and make

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Speaker 1: sure you don't do it again, because I gotta do

341
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:06,920
Speaker 1: so and so and so and so after this and

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Speaker 1: raised it. It's just it's all clicking in my head.

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Speaker 1: Just but you know what that is? What is it?

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Speaker 1: White supremacy, all of that. I don't have time. I

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Speaker 1: gotta get to work, I gotta clean this house. I

346
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Speaker 1: gotta says that you don't have time because the act

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Speaker 1: of being black in this country means to have no

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Speaker 1: time to think about your feelings, no time to think

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Speaker 1: about everything, to preserve life. Even even Jill said in

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Speaker 1: the beginning, I'm worried about his safety. But your obsession

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Speaker 1: with your son's safety and I say obsession, not you

352
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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Oh, we all are. Our our

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00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 1: obsession with our children's safety is directly correlated to having

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Speaker 1: to live within a white supremacist society and thus being

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Speaker 1: black when we're perpetually to funk afraid. So it's like

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Speaker 1: leading from your fear. And I've had conversations like this

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Speaker 1: with white mothers too, so trust and believe it does

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Speaker 1: have some similarities across the board, where it's like our

359
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:03,960
Speaker 1: sations with our children cannot be centered in our fears.

360
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Speaker 1: Not that our fears should be ignored. Our fears are

361
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Speaker 1: our instincts. Our fears keep our children safe. But at

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Speaker 1: the same time, too, we tend to center our fears.

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Speaker 1: What am I afraid my child will become? What am

364
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Speaker 1: I afraid that this behavior says about him? What am

365
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 1: I afraid that this behavior says about me? M H pray,

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Speaker 1: sister girl, these kids don't broke a sister down and

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Speaker 1: build them back up, because I promise you every child

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Speaker 1: that has come through my household has taught me a

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Speaker 1: separate thing, m um. And and that's the one that's

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Speaker 1: not the one. Blessing forgive me what good That's great.

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Speaker 1: I didn't mean it. I didn't mean the kids. I

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Speaker 1: didn't mean I take that back. I take that back. Dog,

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Speaker 1: we traumatized. Goodness, gracious, I can't it's too much sometimes

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Speaker 1: be too much. I mean, yes, take a minute, yes,

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Speaker 1: take a minute. Right. I don't think that my grandmother

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Speaker 1: spanked anybody. She had five children. I really don't think

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Speaker 1: she did. She probably could have got at least two

378
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Speaker 1: of them. That's extremely rare. If she didn't like grandmother's

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00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 1: they created, they created to go get the switch. Yeah,

380
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Speaker 1: I don't think she did. I have to ask my mother.

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Speaker 1: I have to ask her her father. Her biological father

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Speaker 1: was blind, so I doubt very much if he was

383
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Speaker 1: catching anybody or spanking. I don't know if you had

384
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Speaker 1: to stick though, I don't know. I don't know. I

385
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 1: don't think she I don't think she did. Like she

386
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,679
Speaker 1: really didn't spank me too often. So you are a

387
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 1: full unicorn like you are. She's just a full unicorn.

388
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:02,360
Speaker 1: I am learning these things. You don't have one gray eyelash.

389
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,840
Speaker 1: What the heck? That's the only grey you got? You

390
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:06,719
Speaker 1: You ain't got down and blow you get down down

391
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,640
Speaker 1: a high I got a gray eyelid. As as far

392
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:12,359
Speaker 1: as I'm going, you ain't got no great I'm sorry. Okay,

393
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 1: So I have a funny story about gray down below.

394
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 1: I found these I found I found a gray hair

395
00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:23,040
Speaker 1: like right on my hairline, and I'm like, oh, baby,

396
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:27,160
Speaker 1: I finally got a gray hair. He talking about something. Oh,

397
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 1: that's not your own gray hair. I said, what you're

398
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 1: gonna do? Keep that's what she's doing. Oh man, listen, ladies,

399
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:58,639
Speaker 1: young ladies, these things, these things happen. So these things occur.

400
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Speaker 1: Everything that you thought was not going to be yours

401
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 1: because you saw your mom naked, or you saw your

402
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 1: grandma naked, all of those things are yours. The hair

403
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:14,360
Speaker 1: on the chin, yep, that's real. It happens. Oh boys, Jesus,

404
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 1: please don't let it happen to me. I've seen it,

405
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 1: but please, Lord, Jesus, please Jesus all I don't you

406
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 1: gotta pull it, You just gotta, you gotta pull it

407
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 1: starts a whole bunch of problems, I think I heard.

408
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:25,119
Speaker 1: Or you gotta big starts a whole bunch of problems.

409
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:28,800
Speaker 1: In solidarity. I don't leave the house without tweezers. I

410
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:34,639
Speaker 1: don't because I never know. I didn't know that. I

411
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 1: thought Condie Cheese was like something. Now I ain't, ladies, guy,

412
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:38,800
Speaker 1: And then I was looking at my thighs and I

413
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:44,200
Speaker 1: was like, oh, everything that you commented about in your

414
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 1: perfect state your in your increased state, when you were

415
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 1: just flawless for no reason at all. Shout out to Eaves,

416
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 1: flawless and your perfectness. Everything that you saw occur with

417
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:07,679
Speaker 1: your grandma and your mom and her grandma. If you've

418
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 1: got a chance to see all that is yours, all

419
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:14,439
Speaker 1: it belongs to you, you can do the best. What

420
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:16,760
Speaker 1: I what I what I got was that little lovely

421
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:22,160
Speaker 1: mid section. Why I love my thighs and my titties

422
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 1: and all that. The girl, I don't have no waste

423
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:31,440
Speaker 1: my stomach, my mid section. I look like my mom

424
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:34,640
Speaker 1: a egg with good legs. Girl, that's why I look

425
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 1: an egg with good thighs. That's what it is. Yeah,

426
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: all of these things do occur, that all of them,

427
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:46,360
Speaker 1: All that happens. But you know, the funny thing is

428
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:48,400
Speaker 1: a good thing is that by the time it does happen,

429
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 1: you do legit, don't give a funk about it. That's

430
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 1: the good part. That's how these things, This is how

431
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 1: these things aligned. I put on put on and walk

432
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 1: out close every day to to motivate myself to work out.

433
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:07,440
Speaker 1: So I don't know that nothing that happens because yeah,

434
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 1: I'm just saying I'm trying to slow it down, sold

435
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 1: things down a little bit. That's one of the things

436
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 1: had I really wish somebody had told me that, like

437
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 1: everything that you see in your family is going to occur,

438
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 1: you have two remindful of that all that, because we're

439
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 1: here to impart information and that enlightenment, you know, on

440
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:36,120
Speaker 1: our young sisters, because there's things that you don't know.

441
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 1: You think you know, but you know, you have no idea,

442
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 1: and you won't know unless somebody tells you. And so

443
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 1: it's somebody who wants you to win, and it's not

444
00:29:47,480 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 1: jealous of your Yes, yes, I want you to win. Booboo. Yeah.

445
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 1: So I now have for teenage girls in the spectrum

446
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:20,040
Speaker 1: of teenage girls like so starting at twelve, which is

447
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 1: not quite teenage. But okay, I have twins, twelve year

448
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 1: old twins. I have a sixteen year old and an

449
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:32,920
Speaker 1: eighteen year old. Damn, it's work work. Yeah, So let

450
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 1: me tell y'all son, Right, as I have gotten oiler

451
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 1: and I've gotten into really exploring my own emotion starts,

452
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 1: my own healings, my own traumas, met really getting into

453
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:55,760
Speaker 1: understanding gender politics and things like that. Um, changing the

454
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 1: way that I think about that. The test to any

455
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 1: good woman's minism and or womanism is trying to raise

456
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 1: a teenage girl. That is when you will find out

457
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:09,320
Speaker 1: about all the ways in which you have been programmed,

458
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 1: indoctrinated to believe and then repeat so much fuckery. And

459
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 1: it's very hard because the things that sound good on

460
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 1: the oh empower young women. You're not what you wear,

461
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 1: da da. All those things will come back to hunt

462
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 1: you because then you're fourteen fifteen year old will say, mother,

463
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 1: these booty shorts do not dictate my character. These booty

464
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:48,600
Speaker 1: shorts don't give any man they're right to disrespect me.

465
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 1: And everything that they're saying is absolutely true, and it's

466
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 1: all things that you taught them, and they will flip

467
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:56,640
Speaker 1: it back on you. And that's just one thing. But

468
00:31:56,720 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 1: I will say that UM having to trade to train, guide,

469
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 1: and teach teenage girls is very tough because they are

470
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 1: getting to that age where they are learning that everything

471
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:17,080
Speaker 1: is their fault. Women and young women are consistently vilified

472
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:21,120
Speaker 1: for things that are part of their growth, their natural

473
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:24,200
Speaker 1: growth in coming into womanhood. And I have had a

474
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 1: huge problem with this, and it's very difficult to step

475
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:31,720
Speaker 1: out of that mode because the old school ways, the

476
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 1: things your grandmother taught you, the things your mother taught you.

477
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,240
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, You're too young for sheer

478
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 1: black holes. Remember that you cannot wear red lipstick or

479
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 1: red nail polish. Excuse me, no lipstick, no color gloss.

480
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 1: So these are all the things we grew up hearing.

481
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:57,120
Speaker 1: But we know it's bullshit. We know it's bullshit. I

482
00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 1: don't know, Okay, let me just say this. There is

483
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 1: a young lady in my life, um that I think,

484
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:09,719
Speaker 1: I think I can't put anything on her. I think

485
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:14,959
Speaker 1: is exceptionally stunning. I think she's just beautiful. I call

486
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 1: her the most beautiful girl in the world. And I

487
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:22,600
Speaker 1: watch her put on so much makeup. It hurts my feelings.

488
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:28,280
Speaker 1: It's so much and it's so unnecessary. I know it's

489
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:35,640
Speaker 1: her face, but her her skin is literally flawless. It

490
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:43,680
Speaker 1: looks like some old, reddish brown, silky velvet. She's stunning,

491
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 1: and I keep trying to impart on her how much

492
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 1: she doesn't need this much. There's a difference between stage

493
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 1: makeup and every day makeup, and it always looks like

494
00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 1: she's on stage, you know, I think probably for her

495
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:08,760
Speaker 1: parents or for her mom in general, maybe taking away

496
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 1: her makeup will probably be punishment, you know, because I

497
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:16,439
Speaker 1: can't think of anything else she loves more. I get it,

498
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:20,000
Speaker 1: but it's hard for me to see someone that lovely

499
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:24,400
Speaker 1: trying to ailate into your reasoning for your reasoning for

500
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 1: her because concern, like I said, You're concern is about

501
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:31,240
Speaker 1: the health of her skin, about understanding a middle ground.

502
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 1: These are all things I think our conversations that are valuable. So,

503
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:38,239
Speaker 1: now that's a valuable conversation. But I think a lot

504
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 1: of times with girls, especially young girls, we respond based

505
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:45,680
Speaker 1: on what we are afraid again that people will think

506
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 1: about them, Afraid about what that says, or what's this

507
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 1: what we think society says that is about you know

508
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 1: what I mean about us. So it's like, again, if

509
00:34:57,040 --> 00:35:00,800
Speaker 1: if I'm having healthy conversations with my children about sex,

510
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:05,239
Speaker 1: if I'm having honest conversations about my children, about communication

511
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:09,400
Speaker 1: and about how to carry friendships and how to honor

512
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 1: those connections with other people, about how to honor themselves

513
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 1: within the scope of that relationship, and that my concerned

514
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:22,960
Speaker 1: about how others will view them. Where is my concern?

515
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:28,880
Speaker 1: My my concern is in those categories, right, not punishing

516
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 1: or beating them because of how difficult it can be

517
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:36,839
Speaker 1: at that age to navigate those changes, in those transitions,

518
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,240
Speaker 1: because it is it's a horrible time of your life.

519
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,319
Speaker 1: But what about this the other third thought too, like

520
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:45,720
Speaker 1: enjoy being a little girl, because this ship gets hard,

521
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:50,000
Speaker 1: like just on the levels of doing things. It's like

522
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:51,800
Speaker 1: makeup and you know, look in a certain ways. And

523
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,439
Speaker 1: I'm like, what about the aspect the just enjoying being

524
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:57,400
Speaker 1: a little girl? Like, I mean, it all depends on

525
00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:00,160
Speaker 1: what you think being a little girl is. Because at

526
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 1: the end of the day, we all played dress up.

527
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 1: We might have played in mother's makeup or whatever the

528
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 1: case may be. Some of these young will about some

529
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:12,839
Speaker 1: of these young girls are learning a skill. And I'm

530
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,160
Speaker 1: not talking and we haven't even mentioned like what ages

531
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:17,440
Speaker 1: we're talking about. We're just saying girls. But I'm like,

532
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:20,080
Speaker 1: if we're talking about like eight years old, like going

533
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:23,400
Speaker 1: to school with makeup, one, I know, man, like enjoyed

534
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:25,759
Speaker 1: being a little girl. Man, if you're talking about being

535
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 1: at home and practicing, because you are saying the makeup

536
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 1: and you want to be at home, that's one thing,

537
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 1: But then going to school with a full base be

538
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:36,760
Speaker 1: the eight years old and thirteen. How about their team

539
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 1: with a full beat with foundation and not even quite yet.

540
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:44,480
Speaker 1: But I don't know even if even if it's on

541
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,880
Speaker 1: your skin for a long amount of time, like so

542
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:48,879
Speaker 1: you're not even getting your skin. We all know about

543
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:52,320
Speaker 1: to turn around a skin too. And I just I guess,

544
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:56,279
Speaker 1: I guess the I guess the connection that I'm making

545
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:59,279
Speaker 1: is more around the response to these things. You know,

546
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,920
Speaker 1: you might know it's not necessarily about whether or not

547
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:05,440
Speaker 1: we are deciding that that's for whatever family decide for

548
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:08,560
Speaker 1: their family, you know what I'm saying, Um, But I

549
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:11,080
Speaker 1: think it's more so about how how do we respond

550
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:13,399
Speaker 1: to our kids. What do we say to them that

551
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:16,840
Speaker 1: we are making sure that the conversation around there whatever

552
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:20,359
Speaker 1: behavior that they have that we think is undesirable. And

553
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 1: we tend to attach more levels of undesirable behavior to

554
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 1: our young girls than we do to our boys. So

555
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:30,680
Speaker 1: there's like basic undesirable, and then there's the stuff that

556
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 1: we assign only to girl children. And that's kind of

557
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:38,759
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about, is just trying to respond to

558
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:42,360
Speaker 1: them in a way that's empathetic, that says I'm interested

559
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:45,919
Speaker 1: in you, I know what you're going through. I've been

560
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 1: there and that this is an open communication, and this

561
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 1: is an open situation in which we can discuss your feelings.

562
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:56,760
Speaker 1: And even though that can be very difficult because obviously

563
00:37:56,800 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 1: they're at an age where they may you know, lie

564
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:02,600
Speaker 1: or whatever the case may be, and they might go

565
00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:04,720
Speaker 1: back and forth with things, I just it's it's something

566
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:07,720
Speaker 1: I'd rather do, is I'd rather invest that way because

567
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 1: it's just so much more valuable in the long run.

568
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:14,880
Speaker 1: And kids lead double lives. I want your other life

569
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:20,400
Speaker 1: to be as close to the one you let me see,

570
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 1: and if you are scared of me, you're going to

571
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:26,479
Speaker 1: hide the other life. So at the end of the day,

572
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 1: you can figure out how to let me only see

573
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 1: the ship that I like, but you'll be over there

574
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:36,120
Speaker 1: making all kinds of gully as mistakes and your other part,

575
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:38,719
Speaker 1: and I don't know anything about it because you're too

576
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:40,680
Speaker 1: scared of what I'll say and what I think and

577
00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:42,840
Speaker 1: what other people will think. Do you think that the

578
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:49,120
Speaker 1: fear comes from spankings or judgment both? But I would

579
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,840
Speaker 1: say judgment more for the teenagers. But that's that's that's

580
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 1: how your punishment goes. It goes from physical to actual judgment.

581
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 1: And then we wonder why these teenagers are suicidal, why

582
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 1: they're depressed. They're dealing with judgment from every angle, from you,

583
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 1: from their peers, from society as a whole. That's on

584
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 1: blackness and girlness. And you got a nice lovely ship show.

585
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:18,560
Speaker 1: You said it, you said it every day because if

586
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,640
Speaker 1: you know, you don't, if you don't have the if

587
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 1: you don't. I do appreciate this natural hair movement. I

588
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:29,760
Speaker 1: do appreciate that young women, young girls are are loving

589
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 1: and enjoying their natural hair, like trying to look like

590
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:37,000
Speaker 1: somebody else all the time all the time. You know,

591
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:41,360
Speaker 1: one time I said, um, if we had a no

592
00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 1: weave day, a day the it was tweeting at the time,

593
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:51,080
Speaker 1: and the messages were like, I wouldn't come outside, I wouldn't,

594
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:52,799
Speaker 1: I wouldn't go to work. I'll call out of work

595
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 1: that day. You know, Like that's deep when we think

596
00:39:56,280 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 1: about our kids and what they have to face steep well.

597
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:26,239
Speaker 1: According to Parenting dot First cry dot com, there are

598
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:30,760
Speaker 1: other ways to punish children. They have ten creative ways

599
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:34,800
Speaker 1: to punish your child. They're calling number one time in,

600
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:40,479
Speaker 1: and time in is instead of a time out where

601
00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:42,279
Speaker 1: you put your kid off to the side and they

602
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,799
Speaker 1: sit in a corner or they sit somewhere quiet. You

603
00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:49,359
Speaker 1: give them a task to complete in order to, you know,

604
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 1: rectify whatever you know wrongly did like that, okay um,

605
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 1: I thought it was gonna be. It didn't say what

606
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:05,040
Speaker 1: the task was. It could be cleaning out the trash cans.

607
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:07,480
Speaker 1: It could be and that's there we go. Now we're

608
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 1: cooking because they have the task like writing a poem

609
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,280
Speaker 1: or writing the letters of the alphabet, or coloring a picture.

610
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:19,720
Speaker 1: I'm like, I love coloring. That's like, you know, we're talking. Okay,

611
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 1: so cleaning out the trash can, that's a very good

612
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:28,640
Speaker 1: I thought the task was here. Yeah, I prefer that fact.

613
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:34,360
Speaker 1: I just took a MoMA mental note, okay um to

614
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 1: its exercise, you know, take you gotta go take a

615
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:40,840
Speaker 1: walk around the park or around the block, or you

616
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 1: gotta run. Exercise punitive And that's my point. That's weird. Yeah,

617
00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:50,840
Speaker 1: I thought so too, okay Um. Make them do chores.

618
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:53,799
Speaker 1: You gotta do chores anyway. Chores is a basic part

619
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:55,960
Speaker 1: of being a part of the community of the household.

620
00:41:56,280 --> 00:42:01,000
Speaker 1: Thank you, uh timer uh. Let's if your child takes

621
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:03,440
Speaker 1: too long to finish a task like completing homework or

622
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:06,480
Speaker 1: cleaning his room, set a timer. I don't understand how

623
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:10,439
Speaker 1: that's uh punishment? Yeah, because what happens if he don't

624
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:13,919
Speaker 1: do it at another time? What's the punishment exactly? Yeah,

625
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:18,279
Speaker 1: they're they're losing me. Five is practice. Uh they have

626
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:28,279
Speaker 1: trouble with schoolwork, then performing poorly? Make them take tests. Oh,

627
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 1: this is cute. Let's go with the number six punishment jar.

628
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 1: Write down the punishments on a piece of paper and

629
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:38,320
Speaker 1: put them in the jar. The next time your child

630
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:42,160
Speaker 1: behaves in an ill manner. Ill manner asked them to

631
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 1: pick a sheet from the punishment jar and do whatever

632
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 1: is written on it. Sound fun? This sound fun? Yes?

633
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 1: This list is racism. This is this waste of prepacy.

634
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:02,440
Speaker 1: I don't like it. Yeah, cool off time, tidy up, clutter,

635
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:07,680
Speaker 1: no fight areas, early bedtime. Okay, let me just say

636
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:12,879
Speaker 1: this blessed. Yeah. Um, we were talking about punishment here,

637
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 1: and those are not punishments in my opinion. Anybody else, Yeah,

638
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,040
Speaker 1: that's that's not good. I'm I'm gonna translate that into

639
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:46,360
Speaker 1: some sex fun That jars sound funny. I know I

640
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:51,600
Speaker 1: have had some experiences where I've seen people parents, and

641
00:43:51,760 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 1: I wanted to fight them myself. Sincerely, sincerely, you just

642
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:05,480
Speaker 1: stand here and let that child talk to you like

643
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:14,359
Speaker 1: that double duchy about jump in. You're like, I can

644
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:16,839
Speaker 1: do it for you. If you want me to do do it,

645
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 1: I could do it. I didn't see this. My girlfriend

646
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:25,040
Speaker 1: saw this. She she had sent her son to an

647
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:32,239
Speaker 1: exceptional school and UM super expensive in Los Angeles. UM.

648
00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:35,399
Speaker 1: She said she was about to drop her her son

649
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:41,800
Speaker 1: off and he saw she saw a a young girl walking,

650
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 1: maybe about twelve, and there was an older woman. This

651
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 1: was an Asian woman, and she was carrying the backpack

652
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 1: the older woman. So the little girl was walking behind

653
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:58,359
Speaker 1: her up a hill. Grandma's carrying the backpack. I don't understand. Okay,

654
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:02,239
Speaker 1: maybe that's a cultural thing. M hmmmm. Anyway, the young

655
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 1: girl starts screaming at the grandmother and runs up on her.

656
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:08,799
Speaker 1: I told you, And my girlfriend says she couldn't hear

657
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 1: what was being said. She's heard the loudness of it,

658
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 1: but not what was said. And the twelve year old

659
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:22,360
Speaker 1: looking young woman, young girl slap but the grandmother across

660
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 1: the face and ran up the hill. Oh we don't, Oh,

661
00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:31,000
Speaker 1: we don't do that. We don't. We don't do that,

662
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:33,680
Speaker 1: and we don't know that's not with us, not that

663
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:36,480
Speaker 1: that's not what black black friend. We didn't do that. See,

664
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:39,120
Speaker 1: this is a this is a different time. Like I

665
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:43,879
Speaker 1: grew up with one bathroom in the house, so Jet

666
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:47,160
Speaker 1: and I, you know, we grew up differently. He is

667
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:50,160
Speaker 1: a he's a different experience than I do. What I

668
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:59,759
Speaker 1: don't want is for him to become this arrogant uh oh,

669
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:07,000
Speaker 1: disrespectful um asshole. I don't want him to be that

670
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:10,560
Speaker 1: guy if I can help it. I don't want him

671
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 1: to to be an elitist or feel like he should be.

672
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:16,560
Speaker 1: I want him to believe that he is great and

673
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 1: has the capacity to do all things um beneficial to

674
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 1: himself into society. I believe, you know that's what I

675
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:30,279
Speaker 1: want for him. But the rich kids, I'm gonna I

676
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:33,640
Speaker 1: need them all to get spankings. I need I need

677
00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:38,839
Speaker 1: them all to I think it's just like just for adults, right,

678
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:41,840
Speaker 1: So it's no different for kids when adults have access

679
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:45,279
Speaker 1: to anything that they want. I just think that you

680
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:49,040
Speaker 1: oftentimes are going to get situations where really similar you know,

681
00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:53,319
Speaker 1: they're gonna act similar well, um, with young people who

682
00:46:53,360 --> 00:47:00,000
Speaker 1: have access to so much. I think that manners um

683
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:04,640
Speaker 1: respecting their elders. It's like super super super super important,

684
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:07,319
Speaker 1: because I don't I'm gonna like those kids. I don't

685
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:10,560
Speaker 1: like the asshole kids that I'm better than you because

686
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 1: my dad has a or my mom has I don't

687
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:15,520
Speaker 1: like that. I don't even want to be around those

688
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 1: kind of At least you acknowledge that. I don't know

689
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:19,439
Speaker 1: if the parents who make those kind of kids even

690
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:22,239
Speaker 1: acknowledge that that's the thing, Like they're even conscious that

691
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:24,080
Speaker 1: that's the thing. So maybe the first step and that

692
00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 1: is at least knowing that that's not what you want,

693
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 1: because that's your ability gonna have that being no asshole,

694
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:35,759
Speaker 1: No we're not, we're going to do that. But I

695
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:39,680
Speaker 1: do see a lot of parents. This is observation, not judgment.

696
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:42,440
Speaker 1: There's a lot of parents whore like, oh, well I

697
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 1: didn't have this, that or the other. So I'm going

698
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:49,200
Speaker 1: to make sure that my kid has everything. And if

699
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:52,400
Speaker 1: that's how you are um to give your child everything,

700
00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:56,920
Speaker 1: then punishment to me means, you know, confiscating some of

701
00:47:56,960 --> 00:47:59,920
Speaker 1: this crap, some of this stuff. You don't get those sneakers,

702
00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:02,280
Speaker 1: you don't get that Jackie. You don't get this computer,

703
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:05,240
Speaker 1: you don't have that game. You can't go to this place,

704
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:09,480
Speaker 1: you know, unless you act accordingly in my house with

705
00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:12,560
Speaker 1: my rules. To me, that seems like a you know,

706
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:17,400
Speaker 1: a fair punishment for you know, a teenager. What I've learned,

707
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:20,240
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've had if you've heard this before,

708
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:24,080
Speaker 1: like yeah, but um, I've heard this a couple of

709
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:29,320
Speaker 1: times that young boys, like teenage boys, they get into this,

710
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:33,239
Speaker 1: this this bucking thing. And I've I've heard I know

711
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:38,560
Speaker 1: a couple of mothers that have mother mothers and fathers

712
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:43,680
Speaker 1: men testing men, but like your mom, it's it's a like, um,

713
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:50,080
Speaker 1: not so much physicality with the mom, physicality with dad's sure,

714
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 1: but this mouth thing, you know, this this extra talk back.

715
00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:58,240
Speaker 1: You know, I'm a man. You don't even got muscles,

716
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:01,719
Speaker 1: your undarmed stink. Now, you know. I heard of this.

717
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:05,400
Speaker 1: I have heard of this, and and I know a

718
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:07,920
Speaker 1: couple of mothers and a couple of fathers that have

719
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:11,759
Speaker 1: knocked their kids into the wall. Most of us. I

720
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:13,560
Speaker 1: feel like there's a female remix to that too. It

721
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:15,839
Speaker 1: ain't just a man thing. Girls go through this thing.

722
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:17,839
Speaker 1: I'm sure parents and mothers have said the same thing.

723
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:20,360
Speaker 1: I know Asian will say the same thing that girls

724
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:22,759
Speaker 1: go through, the same thing. If I'm grown and I

725
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:28,800
Speaker 1: got this hair, and yeah, I definitely like we talked

726
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 1: about we certain guys, you certainly have to come down,

727
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:53,160
Speaker 1: no matter how angry are, you gotta go somewhere to

728
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 1: calm down and talk to yourself and get yourself all

729
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:58,200
Speaker 1: the way together before you go spanking the child. That's

730
00:49:58,239 --> 00:50:01,320
Speaker 1: the rail room, yep. Because all of the other pressures

731
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:05,239
Speaker 1: that are inside you are gonna come out during that time. Kid,

732
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:08,600
Speaker 1: That kid is gonna get something that's not theirs. Right.

733
00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:15,040
Speaker 1: That's why that conversation before the spanking is so important.

734
00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 1: We got to bring it down. Yes, let me explain

735
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:22,080
Speaker 1: to you why I'm upset with you. Let me tell

736
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:24,240
Speaker 1: you what you are not gonna do while you live here.

737
00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:28,440
Speaker 1: I agree. I love that that switching the conversation to

738
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 1: the beginning of the spanking. Mm hmm, that one after

739
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:39,680
Speaker 1: where you gotta be like, I'm sorry. And then because

740
00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:42,600
Speaker 1: you talked about it so much, I know for me

741
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:44,600
Speaker 1: that old line this is gonna hurt me worse than

742
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:47,160
Speaker 1: it hurts you. I wouldn't talked it out, we hadn't

743
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:51,640
Speaker 1: explained everything and now I still now still said I

744
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:56,520
Speaker 1: was on it because I said I am. Damn it.

745
00:50:56,520 --> 00:51:00,239
Speaker 1: It hurts me worse than it hurts you. But gone

746
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:02,239
Speaker 1: and take that. It will take them tears and take

747
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 1: that little hurt backside and golden go on somewhere and

748
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 1: figure it out. And typically I have to say with

749
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:13,520
Speaker 1: with this kid, if he doesn't apologize and get himself

750
00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:15,799
Speaker 1: together immediately, in the middle of the night, he'll be

751
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:20,760
Speaker 1: standing up next to my bed. M Mom, I'm sorry.

752
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:24,080
Speaker 1: I lied. I'm like, Yo, you don't have to do

753
00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:27,480
Speaker 1: that with me. Man, don't do that. Can be better

754
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 1: than that. Let's be better than that. I'm matter. No,

755
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:33,759
Speaker 1: you're not gonna be Okay, that's a whole another top

756
00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:38,160
Speaker 1: like that. I like them when you graduate from the

757
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:42,680
Speaker 1: pop to the shirt. Jack up, I like. I like

758
00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:44,719
Speaker 1: a good shirt, jack up. I won't lie to you.

759
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:49,400
Speaker 1: I like that get you off, that gets you off balance,

760
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:52,840
Speaker 1: a little shirt, just that shirt when the whole shirt

761
00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:59,240
Speaker 1: get to the top. Yeah, I've also instituted in in

762
00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:02,680
Speaker 1: in um, I have my own list right instead of

763
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 1: spanking them shirk, jerk, that's the shirt, the shirt jerk there.

764
00:52:09,040 --> 00:52:11,040
Speaker 1: We just you gather up that top part of the

765
00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:15,680
Speaker 1: shirt underneath your chin, right that part, and you pull

766
00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:19,800
Speaker 1: them in close, pull them in close. You don't actually

767
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:22,080
Speaker 1: say anything, but you put them in real close, and

768
00:52:22,080 --> 00:52:24,719
Speaker 1: then you shake it a little bit. That that one is.

769
00:52:24,760 --> 00:52:26,920
Speaker 1: I just imagine you're older shaking his whole head to

770
00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:30,319
Speaker 1: this whole episode. And then I like and then I like.

771
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:32,840
Speaker 1: Another go to that I like is to lift the

772
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 1: arm above the head. You know, when you're out when

773
00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:40,920
Speaker 1: you're outdoors and they in trouble, and you take that

774
00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:44,239
Speaker 1: one arm and you lift it all the way up

775
00:52:44,920 --> 00:52:48,200
Speaker 1: and you grab that arm. And it's effective when you

776
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:51,120
Speaker 1: get the arm, the top part of the arm and

777
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:53,879
Speaker 1: you grab that and the elbow is above their head

778
00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:58,239
Speaker 1: and you move them real fast, and their little feet

779
00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 1: be going and their arms up off their head. It's

780
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:05,400
Speaker 1: so awkward. That's a good one. That is equivalent to

781
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:09,000
Speaker 1: the mama lion grabbing that cub by that that that lion,

782
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:12,120
Speaker 1: that meat. Just gotta jerk the arm up a little bit,

783
00:53:12,120 --> 00:53:14,719
Speaker 1: not hard, but just to where it's above the heat.

784
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:20,560
Speaker 1: Now you can't do it, do yeah? I like this

785
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 1: one also is number three. Number three on my list

786
00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:28,920
Speaker 1: is the loud slap of the table right, so if

787
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:32,200
Speaker 1: it's some craziness going on, you spread your hand out

788
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:37,759
Speaker 1: fingers why right, bam and see if y'all. There's a

789
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:41,840
Speaker 1: meme going around of Denzel Washington when he's playing Malcolm

790
00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:45,000
Speaker 1: X and he's sitting at his desk and he hangs

791
00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 1: up the phone and he gets real frustrated and sits

792
00:53:48,120 --> 00:53:52,560
Speaker 1: back that one there supporting to slam that table. The

793
00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:57,720
Speaker 1: loud noise, oftentimes does bring all the attention to you.

794
00:53:57,719 --> 00:54:00,440
Speaker 1: You understand what I'm saying and that you are fed up,

795
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:06,160
Speaker 1: and that you're fed up, you are tired? Yes, right, yes, yep.

796
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:12,760
Speaker 1: Number four? What's wrong with you? Come here? What's wrong

797
00:54:12,840 --> 00:54:17,880
Speaker 1: with you? What's going on with you? What's happening? I

798
00:54:17,920 --> 00:54:23,920
Speaker 1: got time? What's happening? Why are we here? W A

799
00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:28,759
Speaker 1: S S W O R N G W I T

800
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:35,919
Speaker 1: C H you what's wrong with you? With you? What's wrong? Yeah?

801
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:39,440
Speaker 1: These are good notes, These are good notes. I feel

802
00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:42,319
Speaker 1: like that's that's that's for good ones. We're gonna come

803
00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:44,879
Speaker 1: up with a full list. We'll circle back. I like this.

804
00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:48,120
Speaker 1: I like this. You could have saved home me a

805
00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 1: couple of as swumping I mean, and I asked a

806
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:56,040
Speaker 1: little spanking long live Mr Black, Yeah, he's he's somewhere

807
00:54:56,080 --> 00:55:02,000
Speaker 1: around him. I think that it is individual. Um, how

808
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:06,680
Speaker 1: you punish your children. Um, I think that punishment is important.

809
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:11,920
Speaker 1: I do. I think that there has to be accountability

810
00:55:12,840 --> 00:55:17,440
Speaker 1: for your actions, you know. Um, And it's up to

811
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:21,040
Speaker 1: the parent because they're the adult on what those things are.

812
00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 1: Where everybody's real clear that we don't want to see

813
00:55:24,600 --> 00:55:27,160
Speaker 1: nobody get knocked up the head with a damn iron,

814
00:55:27,719 --> 00:55:33,600
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, that's easy enough, and I'm just, oh,

815
00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:38,680
Speaker 1: that was a lot of that. That's a beating, that's

816
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:41,320
Speaker 1: a beaten. That's not a spank, and that's a beating.

817
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:43,920
Speaker 1: Was the Ethiopians. I didn't know if it was okay,

818
00:55:43,920 --> 00:55:46,560
Speaker 1: all right. I don't even. I don't even. We don't

819
00:55:46,560 --> 00:56:02,680
Speaker 1: even used to be word. You know, we don't say

820
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:06,160
Speaker 1: whooping either. No, just because I want to be real

821
00:56:06,239 --> 00:56:09,799
Speaker 1: clear with with you know, my kid and my nephew, like,

822
00:56:09,880 --> 00:56:12,239
Speaker 1: this is a spanking, this is not a whooping, this

823
00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:16,120
Speaker 1: is not a beaten. I'm not trying to have I said,

824
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:20,760
Speaker 1: I'm not doing something out of you. I might have Nah, Nope,

825
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:24,680
Speaker 1: I didn't do it. It's evolving. The language is evolving.

826
00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:29,040
Speaker 1: The language is evolving. We as parents are evolving. We

827
00:56:29,120 --> 00:56:32,520
Speaker 1: have a lot more time. It may not seem like

828
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:34,800
Speaker 1: if it's to me anyway, it just seems like we

829
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:39,960
Speaker 1: have a lot more time to think about how we parent.

830
00:56:41,200 --> 00:56:45,279
Speaker 1: And if you are young girl and have not had

831
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:48,920
Speaker 1: children yet, I think it's really important for you to

832
00:56:49,760 --> 00:56:52,520
Speaker 1: make a little list of what kind of parents you

833
00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:56,719
Speaker 1: hope to be, so it's not also willie nilly and

834
00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:59,480
Speaker 1: lying by the seat of your cuff. You know that

835
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:03,960
Speaker 1: you think about it because I only have one and

836
00:57:06,239 --> 00:57:11,960
Speaker 1: it's it's a challenge sometimes often just trying to steer

837
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:16,880
Speaker 1: and and guide and assist Asia. I know could speak

838
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:20,919
Speaker 1: more on that. You know the challenges of being a parent.

839
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:24,000
Speaker 1: It's probably write this down what you really want for

840
00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:26,920
Speaker 1: your for your babies, how you want to how you

841
00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:30,360
Speaker 1: want to be perceived as a mother. I know for me,

842
00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:35,360
Speaker 1: I wanted I want Jet to feel super loved and

843
00:57:35,560 --> 00:57:39,280
Speaker 1: super supported and and I want him to know I

844
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:43,240
Speaker 1: have faith in him and I believe the best for him,

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00:57:43,480 --> 00:57:46,240
Speaker 1: and I'm here for it. What you need, boy, what

846
00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:50,120
Speaker 1: you're trying to do? Boil you? Are you like that? Okay?

847
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:53,800
Speaker 1: I have access to introduce him to people and things

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00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:59,200
Speaker 1: you know, so, my mom gave me a pretty big

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00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:02,080
Speaker 1: palette and I just want to do the same. I'll

850
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:13,320
Speaker 1: just chat out how do you eat an elephant? One

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00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:21,320
Speaker 1: by it side eaves here. A producer on the show,

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00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:24,600
Speaker 1: Jill mentioned an article on the Constitutional Court of South

853
00:58:24,640 --> 00:58:30,400
Speaker 1: Africa ruling reasonable and moderate parental chastisement of children unconstitutional.

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00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:33,320
Speaker 1: I'll provide a link to that article in the description

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00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:35,720
Speaker 1: if you want to learn more about that ruling. And

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00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:39,760
Speaker 1: I'd say that ages list of punishment tactics served as

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00:58:39,800 --> 00:58:42,160
Speaker 1: a great counter to the list that Jill read that

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00:58:42,240 --> 00:58:45,080
Speaker 1: they really weren't feeling. But just in case something in

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00:58:45,160 --> 00:58:47,840
Speaker 1: that list did seem helpful to you, I'll drop a

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00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:50,840
Speaker 1: link to that article too. Last, but not least, the

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00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:54,400
Speaker 1: book All about Love New Visions by Bell Hooks really

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00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:57,160
Speaker 1: helped Aga think about how to love her children. Check

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00:58:57,160 --> 00:59:05,000
Speaker 1: it out. Thank you again everybody for listening to this

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00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:08,960
Speaker 1: Jay dot Il podcast. We're just some women having some

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00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:15,680
Speaker 1: real conversation and uh hopefully sparking your thoughts. Thank you,

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00:59:17,920 --> 00:59:21,000
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to Jill Scott presents Jay dot

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00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:39,760
Speaker 1: Il the podcast. This podcast is hosted by Jill Scott,

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00:59:39,920 --> 00:59:44,480
Speaker 1: Laya St. Claire and Adre Bayden Danceler. It's executive producers

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00:59:44,520 --> 00:59:48,160
Speaker 1: are Jill Scott, Sean g and Brian Calhoun. It's produced

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00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:51,720
Speaker 1: by Laya's Saint Claire and me Eve Steph Cooke. The

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00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:54,760
Speaker 1: editing and sound design for this episode we're done by

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00:59:54,800 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 1: Taylor Chaquin. Twelve. Actually it says. It says top twelve

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01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:05,080
Speaker 1: creative punishment ideas for kids. I like that voice. Who

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01:00:05,120 --> 01:00:12,640
Speaker 1: that showing up? Louis that lady from the fifties? I

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01:00:12,640 --> 01:00:21,640
Speaker 1: don't know, it's an old radio voice. Yeah. Thanks. J

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01:00:21,880 --> 01:00:25,600
Speaker 1: dot Ill is a production of I Heart Radio. For

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01:00:25,680 --> 01:00:29,240
Speaker 1: more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I heart

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01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:33,600
Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your

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01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:34,520
Speaker 1: favorite shows.