Speaker 1: Forever.
Speaker 2: Are you recording, Sydney, I am okay, cool, it wasn't it? Charged? Question?
Speaker 3: What is this? What is this energy? Is this what
Speaker 3: we're doing on the pod today? These are rude lashes?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 4: The pod is always good when I'm spicy, So.
Speaker 2: You're recording as well, Marie?
Speaker 3: Yes, I am, sir. We can start the episode right, cheer, Hi.
Speaker 2: Guy, clap sorry, that's clap okay three two one three
Speaker 2: two one. We can include everything, include the claps.
Speaker 4: Hi, guys, Hey, I mean let's start.
Speaker 3: Friend.
Speaker 4: Are you ready?
Speaker 3: It's me Marie and Sydney Pekante Washington.
Speaker 4: Mooey mooe, mooey, spicy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Andrew guacam Moley.
Speaker 4: He's mild, mild Miles and he's giving it mild.
Speaker 2: Guy, Mile mcqui, guy, WhatsApp.
Speaker 3: Honestly, I woke up today and I felt good. Right.
Speaker 3: I woke up and I was like, Beach, you've been
Speaker 3: talking about going grocery shopping since I want to say
Speaker 3: New Orleans, and we've been back from New Orleans, I
Speaker 3: feel like for three months. So I mean, it's just
Speaker 3: felt easier for me to go out and pick up
Speaker 3: something to eat from like a black owned place, or
Speaker 3: like a like a pizza place, or I just I've
Speaker 3: been eating out a lot more than you.
Speaker 1: It's too much, friend, it's too much. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, last year we saved so much money,
Speaker 1: and I was like, we are losing all of the money, bleeding, bleeding,
Speaker 1: losing it. It's insanity. Yeah, and I don't want to
Speaker 1: spend another dime. But I also don't want to cook.
Speaker 3: I'm not trying to preheat my stove to four hundred
Speaker 3: nothing degrees. Yeah in this heat wave.
Speaker 1: Listen, I used my oven for the first time in
Speaker 1: months to heat up some canned biscuits.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I made some biscuits for Yeah, I made that
Speaker 1: for Fourth of July.
Speaker 3: Gathering white people Juneteenth.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm I did that, and yeah, the oven hasn't
Speaker 1: been on since. So I salute you, friend, I salute you.
Speaker 1: I'm supporting the troops that are out there getting groceries.
Speaker 3: Last night, I wanted pasta because you know, Mateo's in
Speaker 3: Italy posting like his like you know Italian dishes. It's
Speaker 3: like a tiny portion on like a big white blade,
Speaker 3: so good. And I was like, oh, I got out
Speaker 3: of swim and I said, well, I really want some pasta,
Speaker 3: but I want an Italian person to cook it, or
Speaker 3: maybe like a Mexican in a kitchen or something like that,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So I googled pasta. I
Speaker 3: just put in Italian food and I called this one place.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I called this one place and I ordered, Uh,
Speaker 3: they didn't have pastas. I ordered like a kale salad
Speaker 3: and a pizza.
Speaker 4: Okay, that's just the opposite of what you wanted.
Speaker 3: Right, it is, it is, it is. But everything was
Speaker 3: closing at ten and I was making all these calls
Speaker 3: at nine thirty. So I called them and I made
Speaker 3: the order, and then I was like, but I really
Speaker 3: want some pasta. So I found this other place and
Speaker 3: I called them and they're like, yeah, yeah, you can
Speaker 3: come pick it up. And I was like, should I
Speaker 3: call the other place to cancel? And then I didn't
Speaker 3: call the other place to cancel. Maureen, I know, but
Speaker 3: I figured somebody that worked there took that kale salad home?
Speaker 4: But did you but wait did you pay? No, you
Speaker 4: were gonna go there. I went.
Speaker 3: I had to go pick it up. I had to
Speaker 3: go pick it I had to go pick it up.
Speaker 3: So I went to pick it up, and you know,
Speaker 3: I got a beef bullaniez or whatever. Yeah, you're yellow
Speaker 3: with the tony moment. Oh my god, that sounds delicious.
Speaker 3: They threw a little chabata bread in the bag. I
Speaker 3: was like, oh, I was decadent, you know.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm sure you went right to sleep
Speaker 1: after that.
Speaker 3: You know I did not, you know, I you know,
Speaker 3: I was up for many several hours. Girl.
Speaker 1: I had some old uh fried rice, chicken fried rice,
Speaker 1: and I passed.
Speaker 3: The fuck out, passed out? How old?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 3: Maybe two days old? Okay, Yeah, that's yeah, that's in
Speaker 3: the window.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's fine.
Speaker 1: I think after three days, you know, you should start
Speaker 1: throwing it out. Hmm.
Speaker 3: I think it depends on what it is.
Speaker 1: I think fried rice, like New York fried rice, you
Speaker 1: get one to two days. After the third day, it's
Speaker 1: it tastes like the refrigerator.
Speaker 3: Now one to two days.
Speaker 4: Yeah, one of two days.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 3: I If I get food like the pasta that I
Speaker 3: got last night, I ate the leftovers just now for
Speaker 3: breakfast slash lunch.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's how it works.
Speaker 1: You should order it and then eat it the next day,
Speaker 1: and then it should be done. You should not be
Speaker 1: holding on to it for seven days.
Speaker 3: Hoarding fried rice for seven day, seven nights.
Speaker 4: We know how I am, we know how I do.
Speaker 1: But more importantly, Marie, not only should you be getting
Speaker 1: whatever food you want, somebody, somebody should be making it
Speaker 1: for you. And that is the more important conversation we
Speaker 1: should be having, the conversation that they are not ready
Speaker 1: to have. Is that, my good sister, Marie, Samuel Fouston Hot.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about beautiful bone structure, amazing personality.
Speaker 3: Look at the hair, look at the corn roaw straight back.
Speaker 1: She's so beautiful, so mean, so funny, and she should
Speaker 1: have a line around the corner. She should have a
Speaker 1: date on top of dates.
Speaker 4: And it's it's upsetting me.
Speaker 1: It's infuriating me because because listen, before the pandemic, we
Speaker 1: were all having problem dating during the pandemic. Awful, Now
Speaker 1: now that we have the right to be outside the
Speaker 1: fact that you guys are not slinging and slapping dick
Speaker 1: all over my friends, yeah, and then.
Speaker 2: You're having of the episode.
Speaker 3: Is slinging and slack slacking, slapping, slapping dick and slapping dick.
Speaker 4: I'm upset.
Speaker 1: It's making me mad. It's making me so mad. And
Speaker 1: it's not just you. I have so many really good
Speaker 1: friends that are that are like struggling a lot. They're
Speaker 1: struggling in July to get a decent date. What the
Speaker 1: fuck are y'all doing over there? What are you waiting for?
Speaker 1: Are you waiting for my friends? Are you waiting for
Speaker 1: my friends to approach you?
Speaker 4: They're not.
Speaker 3: They're not approaching you.
Speaker 1: So I need you to get the gall I need
Speaker 1: you to get inside of you to be like, hey,
Speaker 1: can I take you on a nice date now?
Speaker 3: Hidden tonight? I'm so mad? I am. I am.
Speaker 1: You know Kermit the Frog the gift where he's like,
Speaker 1: I'm not Yeah, that is me right now, because my
Speaker 1: friends are able body people.
Speaker 3: Okay, s you gotta let us.
Speaker 2: Break down.
Speaker 3: This dissertations. You monologue it all right, you're right, you're okay.
Speaker 3: First of all, I just want to say one thing
Speaker 3: that stood out in your passionate speech is you said
Speaker 3: we were struggling during the pandemic. Actually was not struggling
Speaker 3: during the pandemic. Remember I was thriving during the pandemic sexually.
Speaker 3: That is canceled and no longer the case now. But
Speaker 3: I I don't know why dating is so hard. Everything
Speaker 3: that is a simple task that used to be easy
Speaker 3: feels so overwhelming right now for me, and I think
Speaker 3: for a lot of people. And every day I wake
Speaker 3: up and I'm like, why do I date men? It's
Speaker 3: it really doesn't make any sense to me at all
Speaker 3: the more I think about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm gonna tell you, as lesbian, it was
Speaker 1: just as hard. It was just as hard, if not harder.
Speaker 1: And it's I think it's people all together. It doesn't
Speaker 1: matter if you're he she they y'all. Dating across the
Speaker 1: board is unbearable right now, it's unbearable.
Speaker 3: I actually really love he she they y'all y'all, he
Speaker 3: she they y'all. Yeah, dating is bad across the board,
Speaker 3: But like I agree with you, people should definitely be
Speaker 3: slinging and slapping dicks all up and through my home
Speaker 3: because like I'll talk to certain people, like we were
Speaker 3: talking to our friend on the phone the other day
Speaker 3: and he got he's got women ponn women like options
Speaker 3: pon options, and it's like, okay, yeah, I mean I
Speaker 3: want that too. But the work that it takes for
Speaker 3: me to like, first of all, continue a conversation with
Speaker 3: a man on an app is like it's like I
Speaker 3: don't even really but this week I I rallied right
Speaker 3: on Monday, they go to Red Bull. I'll see it
Speaker 3: on Monday. I cause I go through periods of time
Speaker 3: where I won't even look at any of my apps
Speaker 3: right and then like There'll be like a twenty minute
Speaker 3: window once a week where I'm just like swiping. I'm
Speaker 3: like alo Welling, I'm sending smiley faces, and then when
Speaker 3: those people I find me respond to me, I've already.
Speaker 3: I've already, I've already checked out. But I had a
Speaker 3: couple of interesting conversations this week with men, believe it
Speaker 3: or not. This one dude was like, my profile says
Speaker 3: I love a man that can cook or something like that.
Speaker 3: The way to my art is through my stomach. Gador
Speaker 3: a man that can cook. And this guy was like,
Speaker 3: what kind of cuisine do you like? I love cooking
Speaker 3: for my friends. Oh I love that. Okay, so what
Speaker 3: should I mean? He he you know, you know my type,
Speaker 3: but he might be marine, might be our type for
Speaker 3: the summers.
Speaker 1: I'm okay now, I'm I'm gonna start now. This is
Speaker 1: when I get problematic. Now this is when I'm getting problematic.
Speaker 4: I'm looking on.
Speaker 1: My phone and I'm seeing some of the most bobblehead,
Speaker 1: cabbage patch kid faced people living their best life. They're
Speaker 1: on trips, people are depositing money into their accounts, They're
Speaker 1: on boats, they're getting their rent paid, they're they're they're
Speaker 1: they're going to many destinations that I'm talking from can
Speaker 1: Coon to Italy.
Speaker 3: Like I'm talking, you can't cool too, tuloom, Yes, all
Speaker 3: around the world they're going. No, wait, angree, what's the question.
Speaker 2: Wait, you're explaining these people.
Speaker 3: They're not my friends. They're not my friends.
Speaker 2: You're you're explaining a lot of things that you've been
Speaker 2: doing recently. Like you traveled in the past.
Speaker 4: As a friend.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a friend trip. It was a friend trip.
Speaker 3: What are you talking about? Was not popped, not one time,
Speaker 3: not by me the boat and the boat that we
Speaker 3: were on was actually a Greyhound that was on the sea.
Speaker 3: So yeah, the boat was a Spirit Airlines. Yeah plane
Speaker 3: that the wings broke off.
Speaker 4: So what are you talking about?
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I'm following other people that I are that don't know me,
Speaker 1: and I'm looking at their life and I'm like, how come,
Speaker 1: how come my friend doesn't have this?
Speaker 3: How come we we don't have that? I think I've
Speaker 3: realized what it is. Some of our standards.
Speaker 4: Are too high.
Speaker 3: I think I think, you know, as a libra, I
Speaker 3: like things that are aesthetically pleasing. I like things that
Speaker 3: like are balanced by like a symmetrical face. But a
Speaker 3: lot of these dudes that are flying these women out
Speaker 3: and buying them Rolexes and sugar daddying down the game
Speaker 3: are sugar daddying down the game. Yes they I like
Speaker 3: that title. I love that title.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: They A lot of them have poor, unfortunate faces and bodies,
Speaker 3: and they are generous because you know they got friend.
Speaker 4: Friend. I have to stop you there.
Speaker 1: I've been looking and these guys are not unfortunate looking
Speaker 1: faces or bodies like they're okay, they're they're a solid seven,
Speaker 1: solid seven, solid seven seven?
Speaker 3: Is are you?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: There're sevens?
Speaker 3: Marie?
Speaker 1: Okay, listen now, now this is where I'm gonna get
Speaker 1: on you.
Speaker 4: Now, I'm gonna get on you.
Speaker 1: A seven in New York is still like a ten
Speaker 1: in Minnesota.
Speaker 3: So you you gotta go don't want to date no
Speaker 3: Minnesota ten? Yeah, yeah, you gotta stop.
Speaker 1: You just got You have to take a moment, and
Speaker 1: you have to close your eyes. You have to close
Speaker 1: your eyes to swipe. If my eyes, close your eyes
Speaker 1: and open your heart, right.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, close your eyes.
Speaker 1: Open your legs, yes, close your eyes, open your legs.
Speaker 3: But also, you don't have to have sex with everybody
Speaker 3: that you You don't.
Speaker 4: You don't.
Speaker 1: But I'm just like, you should be doing more. I
Speaker 1: should not be calling you and you're like, I'm at
Speaker 1: a show. You should be like, hey, bitch, I'm actually,
Speaker 1: you know, not in town.
Speaker 3: I'm going I'm at a show in Spain. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: would be got at Sidney. I understand that. And I
Speaker 3: have opened my eyes a little bit or I'm shutting
Speaker 3: them so I could swipe on these people who I'm
Speaker 3: not physically attractive to attracted to. And that's I think.
Speaker 3: Where what where I get stuck or one of the
Speaker 3: places I get stuck, because I'll go on these spreez
Speaker 3: where I'm like, oh, he seemed nice. Oh you know
Speaker 3: his eyes aren't all the way you know, symmetrical.
Speaker 1: But you know, I love a lazy eye. I love
Speaker 1: a lazy eye. Lazy I for the wind, lazy I
Speaker 1: for the wind.
Speaker 3: I love that. No, so I I'll look at the
Speaker 3: lazy eye and overlook it lazy hot right anyways, So
Speaker 3: then when they start to respond to me, I'm like,
Speaker 3: will like why did I who is this?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: I'll forget that I was in a different headspace when
Speaker 3: I was swiping. But for me, the best way for
Speaker 3: me to meet people is to be outside.
Speaker 1: If I didn't put my guard down most of my
Speaker 1: straight career, I would have never had sex.
Speaker 3: I would have never had sex. I would have never
Speaker 3: had any If I was.
Speaker 4: Like, I need them to have boom boom boom boom
Speaker 4: boom on.
Speaker 1: The list, I would have been a virgin.
Speaker 3: Yes, but baby, we talked about them in they use
Speaker 3: to day and they wasn't catches, baby, but not one.
Speaker 3: I'm not.
Speaker 1: Well No, actually one is a doctor. Now, so I
Speaker 1: had did have one catch.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but the doctor. What were you doing when you
Speaker 3: were with the doctor, weren't you talking to somebody else?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I was in college being a whore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But I'm just saying, I'm just like, I would
Speaker 1: have never ever, I wouldn't have a list a CVS
Speaker 1: receipt list of people I've had sex with. If I
Speaker 1: had my standards higher. You know, you got to put
Speaker 1: them low so that your legs can go high.
Speaker 4: Go high, Texas Sky.
Speaker 3: When their face is low, your legs go high. Thank you,
Speaker 3: Michelle Obama from the South side of.
Speaker 1: Chicago and I and I to be honest, I have
Speaker 1: not dated that many women.
Speaker 3: I have not dated that many.
Speaker 1: I can count on my hands how many women I've
Speaker 1: like dated or well, you have.
Speaker 3: Two hands, sists, so how many hands do you need.
Speaker 4: I think in my whole life, I might have dated
Speaker 4: seven women.
Speaker 3: That's seven more than me.
Speaker 4: You're not a lesbian.
Speaker 3: Seven is a you know, it's lucky number seven. It's
Speaker 3: a decent amount of since there are people who haven't
Speaker 3: dated seven people in their lives. It's people that get
Speaker 3: with one person high school sweetheart, college sweetheart, whatever, and
Speaker 3: they're with.
Speaker 1: That and we call those people fool users, no, fool virgins.
Speaker 3: No. I mean, I just feel like life is for living,
Speaker 3: so like, go out and do some wild stuff. Obviously
Speaker 3: don't get you know, kidnapped or taken or murdered or whatever,
Speaker 3: but like, you know, experience some different things. Like when
Speaker 3: I made we were having we had a conversation. It
Speaker 3: was like a Monday morning zoom or whatever, and uh
Speaker 3: and uh. We were making lists of all the people
Speaker 3: we had slept with. And my list is very black
Speaker 3: and white. There's no other racism or ethnicities on my list.
Speaker 3: And so I was like, oh, I gotta talk to
Speaker 3: like a brown dude. I gotta get you know, like
Speaker 3: an Asian in there, like a you know, like a
Speaker 3: cool Asian dude, like a like ooh, you know.
Speaker 2: What I mean?
Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Yeah, sure, sure, sure, but yeah,
Speaker 3: then when I'll see these people on these apps, I
Speaker 3: don't know. I just need to meet.
Speaker 1: You have to get off, you have to get off
Speaker 1: the app and you But the thing is, Marie, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say this to the to the people I know.
Speaker 3: We said last week we need to.
Speaker 1: Stop having people who are fans come up to us
Speaker 1: and think that they know us. But I also need
Speaker 1: people to stop thinking that Marie is so intimidate that
Speaker 1: you can't go on a date with you.
Speaker 3: No, I'm fine with them thinking that, because the people
Speaker 3: who do fall through the cracks are the people who
Speaker 3: are like, Okay, this is somebody that like if you
Speaker 3: could stand on you'all on two feet in front of me,
Speaker 3: then you're my type more so than someone that's like, oh,
Speaker 3: I saw you earlier tonight, like messaging me later.
Speaker 1: Like y'all gotta stop, y'all gotta stop. Also, you know,
Speaker 1: I was there the whole time, but I just couldn't come.
Speaker 3: Up to No. I didn't quite have the courage. That's
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. Cowardly lions are not my type.
Speaker 4: Okay, Cowardly lions are not my type.
Speaker 2: No, I think we like already reached like the never No,
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that there's the cap. I'm saying that
Speaker 2: there's okay, and tell us what we have so far. Okay,
Speaker 2: So we of course started off the episode with slinging
Speaker 2: and slapping day he she they y'all sugar daddying down
Speaker 2: the game. And then I wrote one down that you
Speaker 2: did not say. It is a title, but I loved
Speaker 2: this Minnesota ten, New York seven, close your eyes, open
Speaker 2: your legs, lazy eye for the win. And what was
Speaker 2: this one that you.
Speaker 3: Just said, Cowardly lyons are not my type?
Speaker 1: Okay, I like that this is good today, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is this is a beautiful.
Speaker 3: This is a beautiful and I really like the Minnesota
Speaker 3: seven New York ten or whatever the hell the the
Speaker 3: mathematics was on that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, I just I think that, Yes, one, you
Speaker 1: gotta have confidence and you can't be scary obviously because
Speaker 1: that's not Marie's type. But y'all have to get it
Speaker 1: out of your heads that somebody is intimidating.
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 1: I want to normalize intimidating people just being normal people.
Speaker 1: And you are scared. They're not intimidating you, just don't.
Speaker 1: You are not confident enough to talk to you. They're
Speaker 1: not intimidating just because they're they're they're pop sture is right,
Speaker 1: and they're having a good time and they're attractive and laughing.
Speaker 3: That doesn't mean they're scary and you can't come up
Speaker 3: to them. Yeah, step up your self esteem please.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I understand that we're all kind of riddled with anxiety
Speaker 3: right now and we're all, you know, covered in just
Speaker 3: overwhelming whatever. But there are people who come to talk
Speaker 3: to me after shows and I'll be looking at them like, now,
Speaker 3: how how dare you look like you got a lot
Speaker 3: of nerve and you know, just the yankiest like Disney
Speaker 3: villain face and like legit will look like remember in Aladdin,
Speaker 3: when Ja'afar was like disguised as like that that old
Speaker 3: man in the in the jail, that they be looking
Speaker 3: like that, like yeah.
Speaker 4: Not a sturdy not a sturdy shoe in sight.
Speaker 3: Just wobbling the knees be knocking together, and they just
Speaker 3: talking to me freely like that's what I'm we should
Speaker 3: I'll be trying to emulate that energy. Just we really should.
Speaker 1: And it's actually if we if we moved in the
Speaker 1: world with that type of confidence, we would get a
Speaker 1: lot more yeses than nos.
Speaker 3: Ooh okay, come on, Sydney's Ted Talk.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, you know, I the thing is, I
Speaker 1: watched this stupid TikTok and it's like, what if you
Speaker 1: try something and it failed, and then the TikTok is
Speaker 1: basically like but if you failed, that means you lived.
Speaker 1: So the fact that you're trying that is good enough.
Speaker 1: Like you're doing it.
Speaker 4: You did it.
Speaker 1: You're not always going to get a yes, but know
Speaker 1: that you went out there and tried. It's okay to
Speaker 1: get a no, ladies. It's okay to get a no.
Speaker 1: If you go up to somebody and they are like,
Speaker 1: I'm good, keep going.
Speaker 3: Keep well, not keep going them.
Speaker 4: Not to them, but keep going to somebody.
Speaker 1: And I think that's what sis straight men have learned,
Speaker 1: and they've taken it to the to a level that's unbearable.
Speaker 1: But no, it's not the end of the world for them.
Speaker 1: They're like, there's somebody else.
Speaker 4: That's why.
Speaker 1: That's why the apps are bad in terms of men,
Speaker 1: because it is a game. They're like, they just have
Speaker 1: to keep going and keep swiping. It doesn't mean if
Speaker 1: they have a real connection or not. It's like I'm
Speaker 1: on here, right, I'm doing my part.
Speaker 3: I'm on here. I mean that is true. I think
Speaker 3: that it's especially now, it's kind of easy to to
Speaker 3: be like, oh I'm not ready, or to be like
Speaker 3: to swipe through a bunch of things, or to be like,
Speaker 3: well I like this person, but what are my other options? Yeah,
Speaker 3: some better is out there, and it's and then you
Speaker 3: look up one day and all this time is past
Speaker 3: and you haven't done nothing with nobody.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's like, who will pop my top?
Speaker 1: You got you gotta get your popp You gotta get
Speaker 1: your top popped at least three times this summer, and
Speaker 1: that is the goal.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well I already got my top. Hop twes.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you got two more, well, I mean I
Speaker 1: got more than two left in me. But I'm saying
Speaker 1: three three is that's I feel like you should have three.
Speaker 4: That should be the least amount.
Speaker 3: I should be getting my pop top three times a
Speaker 3: week minimum.
Speaker 1: Honestly, That's how I I agree, friend. But like you know,
Speaker 1: not all of us is getting our pop top and
Speaker 1: top pop, top pop or whatever. And it's I'm over here.
Speaker 1: I'm so horny Marie saying, I'm so horny. I've used
Speaker 1: my vibrator during the day too many times. Like I
Speaker 1: know that my neighbor is looking down on my couch
Speaker 1: and be like, what does this pitch work?
Speaker 3: You said, looking at your neighbor is looking down at
Speaker 3: you're doing, wen Dale.
Speaker 1: Now I'm doing it on the couch because you know,
Speaker 1: my bed has a lot of clothes on it, so
Speaker 1: I have no I have I have respect for the
Speaker 1: clothes that's on the bed.
Speaker 4: I can't. I can't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not the clothes that I'm gonna put I'm gonna
Speaker 1: put on me, you know, just in case that squirt
Speaker 1: on the clothes, not thet thing. Yeah, the pretty little
Speaker 1: things don't deserve Yeah, but she doesn't make me squirt,
Speaker 1: So there it goes.
Speaker 3: Listen, listen, listen. Daytime masturbating is a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But the thing is is that when the sun
Speaker 1: is on and you come then you're like, oh, like
Speaker 1: I need to cover up.
Speaker 3: I feel there's some type of Yeah, there's a little.
Speaker 1: Bit of shame to it because it's almost like, all right,
Speaker 1: well I don't want to do anything now, so now
Speaker 1: I got to take a nap.
Speaker 3: Well, you were gonna take a nap anyway, Sydney. Don't
Speaker 3: do that. You were planning on taking the nap. Just
Speaker 3: schedule the masturbation before the nap.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm masturbated before the pod, So I know, Andrew,
Speaker 1: you told me to not be inappropriate anymore on the pod.
Speaker 2: But there is something very specifically that you know a
Speaker 2: few reps further along, right, it was.
Speaker 3: You, basically, it was Andrew basically said don't masturbate on
Speaker 3: the podcast. That's right.
Speaker 1: Well, I masturbated before the podcast because I didn't need
Speaker 1: that type of energy. I didn't need to go in
Speaker 1: with that time.
Speaker 2: You're coming with a whole other energy.
Speaker 3: This is the post masturbation energy.
Speaker 2: Yes, you need to take a nap. After you masturbate.
Speaker 3: I do you know what it is? She cranky, she masturbated,
Speaker 3: she's tired, she wants to take a nap, but she
Speaker 3: got the podcast betwixt the nap and the and.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it was just like it was crazy because
Speaker 1: now I can't even like watch porn. Like porn is
Speaker 1: doing nothing for me. It's all I got to think
Speaker 1: about stuff in my head. I don't need to see
Speaker 1: a video where I just have to think of things
Speaker 1: that have happened to me.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, that's where y'all are. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 3: I'm thinking about things that have happened or things that
Speaker 3: could happen.
Speaker 4: Oh, fantasies, what what?
Speaker 3: What's your to say? I'm gonna say, no, no, that's
Speaker 3: not the way that we're going.
Speaker 4: We're gonna we want the ludicrous.
Speaker 3: I wanna from you to your toes. Yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: that's the fantasy.
Speaker 4: That's what I want right now. That's what I want
Speaker 4: for you, friend.
Speaker 1: I mean, you should be getting your back blown out
Speaker 1: and we should be taking on a dinner date, both
Speaker 1: of us.
Speaker 3: Listen, listen to what I'm about to say to you.
Speaker 3: Right now, I hear you, and I receive that with
Speaker 3: light and love, and I'm about to start letting these
Speaker 3: ugly old people take me out on dates. So when if,
Speaker 3: and when I say, girl, come on, we're gonna we're
Speaker 3: going to Jonathan's house, I need you to be like, okay,
Speaker 3: I'm good enough. And then when we get to Jonathan's
Speaker 3: I need you to be like, oh jon like this
Speaker 3: all he looked like mister Burns.
Speaker 1: I don't have a problem with that. I have no
Speaker 1: problem with that. I'm I am down. I'm here to
Speaker 1: be the third wheel. I'm here to be the unicycle
Speaker 1: whatever you need me to be.
Speaker 3: Unicycle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, nicycle is one wheel. Yeah, but I'll be I'll
Speaker 1: be the wheel. I'll be the wheel, and you guys
Speaker 1: be on on my back.
Speaker 3: No, baby, sweetie, no, you would have said the tricycle.
Speaker 3: You said, you said the third and then you said unicycle.
Speaker 2: This red bull is doing too much.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yesterday, yesterday I went to I went to dinner
Speaker 1: with a friend, and across from us was this couple
Speaker 1: and obviously the friends the girl's friend. This young man
Speaker 1: was on a date with this She had to be
Speaker 1: a g titty g titties just you, they were titties,
Speaker 1: g titties. They were pouring out of the bra and
Speaker 1: the dress.
Speaker 3: Her cup runneth over.
Speaker 1: Oh no, her cup was on was on the floor.
Speaker 1: And then she had her little flat chested friend next
Speaker 1: to her, being the third will. She coming in with
Speaker 1: a card again and everything, and I wanted to just
Speaker 1: get up and be like, no, no, this is wrong,
Speaker 1: this is wrong.
Speaker 3: The girl was, I guess, being.
Speaker 1: The third well, she looked so uncomfortable and happy, and
Speaker 1: I was unhappy, and I was like, babe, order everything
Speaker 1: on the menu. If you're gonna be the third will
Speaker 1: and flat chested, get what you deserve.
Speaker 3: Well, first of all, wow, flat chested hate. There's people
Speaker 3: who listen to this podcast that got a cup titties.
Speaker 3: That's scoopy. Okay, there's nothing, there's nothing wrong.
Speaker 1: I was mad at her g tittied friend for like
Speaker 1: having her titties all the way out and a man,
Speaker 1: It's like, babe, you can't bring me on a dape
Speaker 1: have your titties out, and the niggas next to us
Speaker 1: like you gotta pick one.
Speaker 3: Well, maybe it was her sister. It was not her sister.
Speaker 3: She was not giving sister vibes.
Speaker 1: She was like like, girl, I'm just here to make
Speaker 1: sure that this boy don't touch you inappropriately.
Speaker 3: Well what was he bringing to the table? Looked like
Speaker 3: a third leg? No, no, he just I mean to
Speaker 3: be honest.
Speaker 1: He was definitely of age, but he was giving me
Speaker 1: bar mitzvah.
Speaker 3: He had on a shiny list.
Speaker 1: He had like a button down you know, he had
Speaker 1: the side bang situation.
Speaker 3: He had like the pants from Coal's just like lots
Speaker 3: of pockets.
Speaker 1: Possibly his mother dressed him. But he has a lot
Speaker 1: of money. But he has a lot of money, you
Speaker 1: could tell. Yet, tons of money, you could tell.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, we were at.
Speaker 4: Blue Ribbon Sushi.
Speaker 3: Place is nice. It's like the and the g titty
Speaker 3: girl was drinking white wine.
Speaker 4: Doubt.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no it was it was Pinut Grigio
Speaker 1: on the house.
Speaker 2: M hm.
Speaker 1: Her cup runneth over, her cups ran it's rano. I
Speaker 1: mean she didn't she wasn't giving me sanse because Sonseer
Speaker 1: is like like an older woman.
Speaker 3: Not so. Sydney is a little grooner. Like a little grooner.
Speaker 3: Oh grooner. It's very sweet. No it's not. Yeah, isn't
Speaker 3: it sweet?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: I don't think so. Pino Grigio reasoning, chardonay, those are
Speaker 3: the sweet white wives.
Speaker 1: I just want to be on a date with you, Marie.
Speaker 1: I want to have fun. I want the guy to
Speaker 1: trick out and get stuff for the table. I want
Speaker 1: him to order everything for us. Okay, so we can
Speaker 1: have like a like a sampler. Okay, I want a
Speaker 1: little samplers.
Speaker 3: Okay, everybody gets two apps and then Trey and then yeah,
Speaker 3: they like bring all the desserts out. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: we'll do the alamode. Yeah yeah, yeah, bring it out. Okay, Sydney,
Speaker 3: that's you know what.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 3: I also hadn't really been going on days because I've
Speaker 3: been doing shows. But next week I got some openings,
Speaker 3: so I think that we should. I'm a I'm a
Speaker 3: get some some thangs on the books for next week,
Speaker 3: and I'm going to follow through with these Wow. These
Speaker 3: these men, you know, like when you get an old
Speaker 3: pair of Converse and they like have holes where the
Speaker 3: toes come out a little bit. Yeah, that's what some
Speaker 3: of these men on these apps be looking like. So
Speaker 3: it's fine. I think we should go to the frying pan.
Speaker 3: Remember I mentioned that like years ago, the frying pan.
Speaker 3: It's like a boat, but let's go. It's a docked boat.
Speaker 3: It's like seafood and beer and stuff like that. But
Speaker 3: I think we should. You love taking a lap. I'll
Speaker 3: take many laps around you know. We'll wear We'll wear
Speaker 3: our Esper drills and talk shit. I don't. I've never
Speaker 3: owned a pair of ESPA drills.
Speaker 1: In We'll have Espa drills and talk ship ESPRA drills
Speaker 1: and talk shit.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 3: That's the title. Okay, whoa, whoa, Andrew? How is dating
Speaker 3: going for you? Sweetie?
Speaker 1: Oh? I am?
Speaker 2: I am in a relationship.
Speaker 4: That said I I can't relay, hon.
Speaker 2: You love this big ta, big T, big tea, Molly
Speaker 2: Molly size tea. Yeah. I received a text late last
Speaker 2: last week in the night. Let me pull it up. Okay,
Speaker 2: hey man, hey man, one word, I don't have this.
Speaker 2: This contact saved.
Speaker 3: Hey man, one word.
Speaker 2: It's just like one word, no space, hey man. He
Speaker 2: didn't even bother to put the space in between. The
Speaker 2: next morning, I text him who is this? And he
Speaker 2: said this is Sean? Is this Andrew and Chelsea? And
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, not in Chelsea anymore, but yeah, and
Speaker 2: I'm thinking this is the homeless guy. Yes, okay, I'm
Speaker 2: thinking it's him. I have my my text that like
Speaker 2: automatically delete after like six months, I don't have any texts.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's how you keep the cloud clear. I'm
Speaker 3: gonna yeah, my phone storage is full too, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: start deleting automatically.
Speaker 2: It's nice. And and I was like, who is Sean who?
Speaker 2: And he was like, we met and chilled before. And
Speaker 2: I asked for a picture.
Speaker 1: Of Oh, this is definitely a black guy we met,
Speaker 1: and you met and before also a man, a man
Speaker 1: was getting beige, but we met she was getting back.
Speaker 2: And so I didn't want to jump to conclusions and
Speaker 2: say like, hey, are you the person that like we
Speaker 2: met at three am on the street.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, You never give yourself away like that.
Speaker 2: Right, because like what if I was wrong? And so
Speaker 2: I had him like explain the entire situation to me,
Speaker 2: just to just to confirm. And he said, we met
Speaker 2: close to your apartment one night when I was headed
Speaker 2: to a bar to meet some friends. Came over and
Speaker 2: chilled for a bit, screaming. We kept in touch, and
Speaker 2: then the pandemic happened. That happened in July of twenty nineteen.
Speaker 2: He's making it sound like it would happened like a
Speaker 2: February twenty.
Speaker 3: Full two years, babe, full two years the lies. That's
Speaker 3: three sixty five times the lies.
Speaker 2: So he's back. I don't know. I'm like that, you know,
Speaker 2: he's I mean, he's thinking about it, which I think
Speaker 2: is flattering.
Speaker 3: That is very flattering. It is flattering. But also it's like,
Speaker 3: I'm judging you a little bit. You haven't had cute
Speaker 3: sex in two years.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: I'm like, what, don't judge, don't judge.
Speaker 2: A full two years, don't judge.
Speaker 1: I think after you, after the conversation, after me just
Speaker 1: pouring my heart out for thirty minutes about the dating atmosphere,
Speaker 1: don't judge.
Speaker 3: Were you pouring your heart out or were you judging
Speaker 3: everybody in the dating world in the dating realm? You
Speaker 3: said the GTT girl had that there she you met
Speaker 3: at the flat chested Cardigan in the summertime girl. And
Speaker 3: now you're saying, girl, don't judge. But you know what,
Speaker 3: That's how it is. Sometimes Sometimes you have really really
Speaker 3: good sex with somebody and it makes you sit and
Speaker 3: you're like, well, what the hell was I doing before?
Speaker 3: If that's what sex is supposed to feel like? And
Speaker 3: then everyone you have sex with after that you compare
Speaker 3: it to that person who made you, I don't know, levitate,
Speaker 3: and then some people, I don't know, some people don't
Speaker 3: know what they're missing and they just be having just
Speaker 3: dry vanilla ice cream cone sex.
Speaker 2: You know, Yeah, I know there was something really great
Speaker 2: about like because when you were talking about mascerrating to memories,
Speaker 2: that sort of thing like that is like that moment
Speaker 2: with with hey Man Sean is like you know what
Speaker 2: I returned to a lot of time really.
Speaker 3: Because it was like there was.
Speaker 2: Like not like you know when you when you meet
Speaker 2: someone on an app, there's so much work that goes in
Speaker 2: the conversation something check exactly. There's something so nice about like, hey,
Speaker 2: we're just like already here at the same time, We're
Speaker 2: already like we just vibed, yeah, and then had sodomy, you.
Speaker 1: Know, had he had side of me beside of me.
Speaker 3: That's hilarious.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I Mean, I had a dude that I used to
Speaker 3: deal with before the pandemic reach out to me recently
Speaker 3: and he's kind of been in my DMS for a
Speaker 3: while and we've been kind of tiptooning around it. But
Speaker 3: this week he was like, how does how's your week? Look,
Speaker 3: it's been a minute, would love to see you. And
Speaker 3: that is honestly, that's that's the language that I feel
Speaker 3: like I need to hear. I feel like a lot
Speaker 3: of men will try to like play it cool or
Speaker 3: what you doing? You you know, wydu and it's like, no,
Speaker 3: use your words, boo boo. I know you know how
Speaker 3: to use words.
Speaker 1: Use to If you don't know how to use your words,
Speaker 1: use your tongue.
Speaker 3: Well, if you don't use your words properly, how is
Speaker 3: your tongue gonna get to my house? Because I'm not
Speaker 3: coming to your house with the one flat pillow with
Speaker 3: no pillowcakes.
Speaker 2: Right near.
Speaker 4: Narror ne'er. Okay, that's fair.
Speaker 3: So yeah, you know, I think, uh, you know, might
Speaker 3: I might? I might do that little TBT this week
Speaker 3: if possible, you think so? Maybe you know I'm not
Speaker 3: against it.
Speaker 1: I'm not against it. I'm just I'm just asking. I'm asking,
Speaker 1: like you know, yeah, girl.
Speaker 3: For me, it's easier to just do that, But I
Speaker 3: don't wanna. I don't want to wake up and be
Speaker 3: fifty six years old and sitting in an apartment by myself.
Speaker 3: Not in an apartment, I'll be in a house about fifty six.
Speaker 3: I don't want to be sitting in my house at
Speaker 3: fifty six alone because I didn't have the follow through.
Speaker 3: I didn't I couldn't make the effort, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean? Like, I don't want the stuff that I'm
Speaker 3: doing right now to come back and bite me in
Speaker 3: the ass later. I really, I mean, I would rather
Speaker 3: just let somebody bite me in Yes, but I I
Speaker 3: don't know.
Speaker 1: So that's why I hear everything that you're saying, and
Speaker 1: I'm I'm proud of you for saying that out loud.
Speaker 3: Friend, Actually, what that I don't want to be fifty
Speaker 3: six and single? Yeah, well I just if I am fifty, Like, Okay,
Speaker 3: it's different if I meet somebody, we have like a
Speaker 3: whirlwind thing.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 3: I live in Italy for a year because I met
Speaker 3: somebody on Eatbrey Hole Parts, So.
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: Or I like, marry somebody and then it doesn't work
Speaker 3: out and then I'm fifty six and I'm alone. That's
Speaker 3: different than not ever like truly connecting with somebody and
Speaker 3: like experience experiencing freaky, deeky, sexy, beautiful love together because
Speaker 3: it's like, what are you saving yourself for.
Speaker 4: The What are you saving yourself for? That's a fucking
Speaker 4: that's a motherfucking title. I love that. I fucking love that.
Speaker 3: That more than we did sod of Me together.
Speaker 4: Okay, you're right, but I'm just what you say yourself.
Speaker 3: Or it could be the you know, the little that
Speaker 3: could go into Buy and Andrew. Honestly, all of these
Speaker 3: titles could go in the BOT in the description of
Speaker 3: the episode. Okay, right, like if we if no right,
Speaker 3: no context, like they'll figure it out, got it?
Speaker 2: Okay, But Marie or.
Speaker 1: What you're saying is is so real because people are
Speaker 1: so scared to like fail and to fuck up, and
Speaker 1: it's just like, you can't be scared anymore. What if
Speaker 1: you fail, you can get back up and start over again.
Speaker 1: It's not the end of the world.
Speaker 3: But truly, the worst fuck up that you could actually
Speaker 3: do is not living your life. When you're old and
Speaker 3: gray and your pubes is gray and your your beard
Speaker 3: hairs is gray. When you're old and gray, you're not
Speaker 3: gonna regret the stuff that you did. You'll regret all
Speaker 3: of the crap that you did not do. Realistically, you
Speaker 3: might feel bad about ah man I don't I can't
Speaker 3: believe I said that, or woo, like, I can't believe
Speaker 3: I banged that guy on that stoop, right, But ultimately,
Speaker 3: the stuff that you don't do in your life is
Speaker 3: the stuff that you're gonna be like man, like I
Speaker 3: can't believe I didn't do that, or I can't believe
Speaker 3: someone offered me blank and I didn't take it. Just
Speaker 3: do all the stuff that you want to do, so that,
Speaker 3: like when you write your memoirs in your brain later
Speaker 3: you'll be like, whoa, I lived a life beach.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I can, I can say that I was.
Speaker 1: I'm kind of annoyed that, like I got my shit
Speaker 1: together when I was older, because all of my memories
Speaker 1: is from you know, pre sobriety. You know, as a
Speaker 1: sober person, I'm not making as many dumb choices. I'm
Speaker 1: still making dumb choices, but not not as reckless.
Speaker 4: You've done some reckless.
Speaker 3: Shit, yeah, but I feel like when your youth is
Speaker 3: for reckless activity, Yeah, your youth is for reckless things.
Speaker 3: You're like, thirties is for like like mess that you
Speaker 3: can pay for. Like your thirties you can like do
Speaker 3: messy things, but like you should be able to afford
Speaker 3: a lawyer, right, Yeah, and then your forties, I don't
Speaker 3: know that. Forties, fifty sixties, that's midlife crisis territory, and
Speaker 3: that's when people the recklessness re emerges.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but in a different way.
Speaker 3: You buy a car that you don't need, you buy
Speaker 3: ed hardy jeans, You bang a twenty one year old,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean? Like, maybe you cheat on
Speaker 3: your family, Like that's forty fifty.
Speaker 4: Sixties cheating on your family.
Speaker 1: Guys, please fuck those kids have that affair.
Speaker 3: Are you saying, get divorced kids or no?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 4: No, don't don't ever fuck kids.
Speaker 1: I'm saying, like, fuck those kids whatever if you if
Speaker 1: you're saying in a relationship for the kids, the kids
Speaker 1: will be fine.
Speaker 4: It's okay.
Speaker 3: If you get a divorce, be worse because y'all stayed
Speaker 3: in that unhappy situation. Yeah, you might be messing those
Speaker 3: kids up more than you know. Yep. But also the
Speaker 3: rent is too damn high, so I damn high, yeah, Marie.
Speaker 1: And also I just want you to know we will
Speaker 1: always be together like you and I I know it's
Speaker 1: not enough, like, but we always have each other.
Speaker 3: So yes, It is definitely not enough. But thank you, appreciate,
Speaker 3: appreciate us always being together. You you in a relationship.
Speaker 3: You you are the girl with the gtities and I'm
Speaker 3: the flat chested girl in the card again on a
Speaker 3: date with y'all. This is what you do. You really
Speaker 3: believe that, Marie Sidney, when you said we'll always have
Speaker 3: each other, it's giving. It's like foreshadowing. I see it
Speaker 3: in my brain, like, that's so raven. I just had m.
Speaker 2: With this little bar Mitzvah boy.
Speaker 3: With this little bar mitsvo. Well the bar Minceville boy
Speaker 3: is you know, is your boosis?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 4: We will not say that about my boob.
Speaker 3: Because your your booths bar Mitsvah boy, you said he
Speaker 3: look rich, so you know, yeah, I guess you're right.
Speaker 4: Why why are we so messy? But in the best way.
Speaker 3: We're not messy. I think that people are listening to
Speaker 3: this right now and they're like, either, yes, they're in
Speaker 3: a relationship and they're happy and we yuck. But I
Speaker 3: think a lot of people understand where we're coming from.
Speaker 3: Dating It was already hard, right, Dating was already hard
Speaker 3: because we were, like you trying to like present yourself
Speaker 3: in the best way, so somebody will want you. But
Speaker 3: also you want to be on the same page with
Speaker 3: the person that you like. Plus you need them to
Speaker 3: look a certain way. Plus you need the dick to
Speaker 3: be good, plus you need it's plus they have to
Speaker 3: want what you want. It's too much, man, Like I
Speaker 3: realized that.
Speaker 1: Yes, when I met my current you know girlfriend, all
Speaker 1: of it sounds crazy.
Speaker 4: It was just like, we don't know each other, this
Speaker 4: is three, we live far blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: But like, if I didn't take a risk, then I
Speaker 1: wouldn't be where I am right now. And where I
Speaker 1: am right now is I'm really happy, Like I'm really happy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm masturbating in the day, but happy horny yep, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's I remember when I was not horny at all,
Speaker 1: and we can't I can never go back to that.
Speaker 1: Oh remember when I wasn't horny?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but like you know, times have changed, sis, you're
Speaker 3: in a different place then.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm very dedicated now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I don't want to be horny all the time. Really,
Speaker 3: you want to be horny all the time?
Speaker 1: I mean I want to be horning all the time
Speaker 1: for the person that I'm with.
Speaker 4: That's a note for you.
Speaker 2: What about you, Andrew, I'm just like being horny all
Speaker 2: the time for the person that you're with, sure, but
Speaker 2: like you're not even like geographically in the same place.
Speaker 2: That doesn't seem same.
Speaker 3: So you just horny, right?
Speaker 2: Yeah? For real?
Speaker 1: Well, you get out there and not be horny for
Speaker 1: you know, several years, and you'll see where I'm coming from.
Speaker 1: I was not horny for five years, and it was
Speaker 1: the scariest thing. I was like, my pussy is broken,
Speaker 1: Like the inside of my pussy does not work, is dead.
Speaker 3: I thought it was dead. I mean, to be fair,
Speaker 3: there are people who are asexual that exist. I'm not
Speaker 3: wishing this on you. I'm not putting that on you.
Speaker 3: But right there are people who are asexual and they
Speaker 3: exist and they live I'm gonna say fulfilling lives. I
Speaker 3: don't know, they fulfill they live, they live lives.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they out we are, I don't know.
Speaker 1: We should definitely try to find an asexual like expert
Speaker 1: on here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but what we're gonna talk about work?
Speaker 4: No, how like.
Speaker 1: About Ship's Creek. See, that's that's not a positive way
Speaker 1: to to promote a sexuality, Marie.
Speaker 4: I'm not trying.
Speaker 3: I'm not trying to promote a sexuality. I recognize that
Speaker 3: it exists. You're saying you want to talk to them,
Speaker 3: they not will be talking about sex. We're gonna be like, so,
Speaker 3: what are you the expert in not having sex or
Speaker 3: not that?
Speaker 4: But okay, then now I want to have sex.
Speaker 3: The conversation is is three seconds longis it's three sentences?
Speaker 3: Tell us about you?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't need sex. I have a thriving pottery business. Okay,
Speaker 3: well thanks for being on the pod. Uh.
Speaker 2: I don't know anybody that's asexual, do you?
Speaker 3: No? No, I don't not anybody who's telling me about it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, well because of because of the energy, look at
Speaker 1: you whatever you got to talk about pottery?
Speaker 3: Well, because you want to have an asexual expert on?
Speaker 3: What's the conversation, Sidney? What kind of questions would you
Speaker 3: ask them? Pretend it's me?
Speaker 4: How is it?
Speaker 1: How are you able to navigate a sexually driven like
Speaker 1: society without like how do you meet people who are
Speaker 1: like you?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: And how do you and like what bonds do you have?
Speaker 1: And so y'all go to bed, y'all see each other naked?
Speaker 1: You feel nothing?
Speaker 3: No, I sleep in a shirt like like we need
Speaker 3: to poo no bottoms, and uh, you know, I just do.
Speaker 3: I don't want to. I feel no sexual desire. I
Speaker 3: don't need a release. I just you know, I fill
Speaker 3: my time with books. That would be the episode. I
Speaker 3: fill my life with books.
Speaker 2: Well, does the asexual person need to be the a
Speaker 2: sexual expert? Could they be like an expert in anything else?
Speaker 3: They would have to be. Yeah, and then the asexual
Speaker 3: thing is just like you know, a cherry on top
Speaker 3: and we go, oh, you know, we react to them
Speaker 3: saying that. But like a whole sixty minute or a
Speaker 3: seventy five minute episode talking to somebody who's not sexually
Speaker 3: attracted to anybody. I like that.
Speaker 4: Okay, you're right.
Speaker 1: So we're looking for an asexual person but also has
Speaker 1: another expertise.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I gotta have. You have to have
Speaker 4: two and two.
Speaker 3: I would rather talk to somebody who was like Polly
Speaker 3: or you know, I feel like for me, the questions are, well,
Speaker 3: how do y'all make this work? What's the jealousy aspect here?
Speaker 3: Like I would rather talk to a hoe than somebody
Speaker 3: who is like a welder. That's asexual. Okay, but you
Speaker 3: put the call out there if if if you're either
Speaker 3: one of those things, you know who to call Sydney
Speaker 3: No ye, people were saying that your phone number was
Speaker 3: still on your page.
Speaker 1: They did they did that, and I was like, what
Speaker 1: the fuck, dude, But I I took it down.
Speaker 4: God is God is Jesus is real.
Speaker 2: And it was concerned, I know.
Speaker 3: But but you know what made me upset that I
Speaker 3: was not getting any calls. Nobody nobody called me.
Speaker 2: Did anybody like textuns? Like, by the way, no.
Speaker 1: Nobody texts me nothing. I was like, I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: now you guys want to respect me.
Speaker 4: That's weird.
Speaker 3: Well, you know, Sis, you scared them last week. You
Speaker 3: were yelling at them, definitely yelling at them. They were
Speaker 3: in the comments like I'm just leaving this comment because
Speaker 3: Sidney yelled at us.
Speaker 2: So Sidney doesn't hit me, right, Sidney doesn't?
Speaker 3: Are you kidding me?
Speaker 4: Stop? I listen.
Speaker 1: It all comes from love, guide, It all comes from love.
Speaker 1: Because even though you guys write really nice things to us,
Speaker 1: and you DM us and you follow us and you
Speaker 1: tweet about us, I.
Speaker 4: Feel like.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we are overlooked. Sometimes we are not in these lists.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we are not recognized for the good work. That
Speaker 1: we're doing, and it's annoying it Sometimes it hurts my feelings.
Speaker 1: I know that none of this stuff matters, but I'm
Speaker 1: being honest while we're being transparent. Yeah, it does hurt
Speaker 1: my feelings sometimes I'm like, I know that the people
Speaker 1: who follow us love us, So what the fuck is
Speaker 1: the problem?
Speaker 4: Why are we not on the charts?
Speaker 3: So nobody listens? Nobody who listens to the podcast is
Speaker 3: making a list or charts. None of y'all write for
Speaker 3: Vulture or doesn't.
Speaker 2: Well. Serena William's husband, the creator of Reddit, says that
Speaker 2: he listens to this show allegedly.
Speaker 3: Oh wait, when did he say that? Where's the post
Speaker 3: of that? I don't remember that conversation. That might have
Speaker 3: been July twenty nineteen when Andrew was beg in that
Speaker 3: Homeless Man. When did that?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Did that conversation?
Speaker 2: Where did that? Like? I think it's like I remember
Speaker 2: going through your tagged unofficial experts tagged photos and being like,
Speaker 2: wait a second, this is the creator of reddit that
Speaker 2: posted this.
Speaker 3: Honestly, I feel like some of y'all are on Reddit.
Speaker 3: Just go ahead and throw the unofficial expert just mention
Speaker 3: it start a bunch of forums or something for us.
Speaker 1: You know what it is, Marie, We're not as I mean,
Speaker 1: we're not really putting our business out there anymore. We're
Speaker 1: not any We're not doing anything that salacious.
Speaker 3: It's some of the top podcasts on Spotify are not
Speaker 3: salacious at all. It's a lot of people listening to
Speaker 3: Joe Rogan. He not being silatious, he's just actually have
Speaker 3: no idea what he's talking.
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, what the hell.
Speaker 1: Is Joe Rogan talking about? Can someone tell us we
Speaker 1: have Rogan on the podcast?
Speaker 4: Can you?
Speaker 1: Can you put it in the comments? What the fuck
Speaker 1: is Joe Rogan talking about?
Speaker 4: Exactly?
Speaker 3: Y'all everybody is a Fear Factor fan from the early
Speaker 3: two thousands. No, but he is the highest rated podcast
Speaker 3: of all the podcasts. So if Joseph Elizabeth Rogan can
Speaker 3: do it, why can't we?
Speaker 4: M hm hm.
Speaker 3: Anyway, I guess we should maybe wrap this up.
Speaker 4: Wait, do we have I think we have. We might
Speaker 4: have an email though that we haven't read. There's so
Speaker 4: many we haven't read he sent to us. And then
Speaker 4: we were like, oops.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not sure which ones you've read at this point.
Speaker 4: Which we only read one last week.
Speaker 2: I think maybe like, is it?
Speaker 3: Oh wait, I haven't it?
Speaker 2: Do you have them? Okay?
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's see how long this is from Catherine.
Speaker 4: Yes, Catherine, come on, Kathy, give it to me.
Speaker 3: Okay, Hi, Marie, Sydney and Andrew. Love, love, love this podcast.
Speaker 3: I started listening to you at the beginning of the
Speaker 3: pandem after laughing so hard when y'all guested on Ask
Speaker 3: Me Another, Oh, Sydney Room, we did Ask me Another,
Speaker 3: and we did. We fully took over those white people's podcasts.
Speaker 4: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Listening to your pod gets me through my workday. Your
Speaker 3: episode on Black Lives Matter has helped me explain what
Speaker 3: the f is going on in a very clear manner
Speaker 3: to some of my not so woke friends. In fact,
Speaker 3: I posted the episode on my social media on all
Speaker 3: of my social media. I look forward to the pod
Speaker 3: every week, and I'm glad Andrew is talking more. The
Speaker 3: three of you are such a cute and hot family.
Speaker 3: Thank you for the loughs and sending you lots of
Speaker 3: love your way. Oh wait, which one is Catherine? Oh
Speaker 3: she's getting Jessica Rabbit.
Speaker 4: Very what the body looking like? Let me see the.
Speaker 3: Body's not in the is not in none of the shots,
Speaker 3: but she's.
Speaker 2: Getting scroll down. It's oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we go Catherine. She know who? She also looks
Speaker 3: like she kind of looks like the girl from did
Speaker 3: you guys watch Desperate Housewives? Yes?
Speaker 4: Can you show me her one more time? Let me see.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, she's a cutie, sexy.
Speaker 3: It's a red hoiden.
Speaker 4: I would take her on a date.
Speaker 3: Sidney, you would tell you everybody on a date.
Speaker 4: That's not true.
Speaker 3: You would take everybody on a date. I feel like
Speaker 3: we have messages in our ms, yeah dms from people
Speaker 3: who are like confessing things or you know, just sending
Speaker 3: us mess which you know we love but we don't.
Speaker 1: Also wanted to say the people who just came to
Speaker 1: the Nit last Sunday, Melissa and Amanda from the podcast,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. I was so happy to give
Speaker 1: really good hugs to you girls. Very very cute ladies.
Speaker 1: I mean, I love everybody who comes to the Knit
Speaker 1: every Sunday and listens to the pod and leaves us
Speaker 1: nice reviews.
Speaker 4: Those are my favorite type.
Speaker 3: I love when people. I love when women come to
Speaker 3: see us alive and they come with their boyfriends and
Speaker 3: their boyfriends were like, yeah, she's a really big fan.
Speaker 3: Can we just take a photo? He already had his
Speaker 3: camera in his hand. He was ready to go.
Speaker 4: He was, he was.
Speaker 3: She was like, okay, and I don't like that angle.
Speaker 4: Let's do this over. He was. He was a good man, good,
Speaker 4: good great man.
Speaker 1: Also, Yeah, if you're a hot straight man, I mean hot,
Speaker 1: and someone told you to come to the podcast, please come,
Speaker 1: I mean to listen to the podcast. Please come to
Speaker 1: the net because then maybe we can see you and
Speaker 1: maybe you can go on a date with Marie. Who
Speaker 1: what a straight a straight hot man.
Speaker 3: Oh, I don't know. Last week when we said we
Speaker 3: didn't want to give our phone number to people who
Speaker 3: listened to the podcasts, I don't know if I want
Speaker 3: to give my kyat to somebody who listens to the
Speaker 3: podcast either.
Speaker 4: Okay, how about this, how about this?
Speaker 1: If you are a straight hot man interested in Marie,
Speaker 1: come to me first and I'll vet.
Speaker 3: I'll vet. Said, you are not the person to vet.
Speaker 3: If anything, I got to send them to Andrew, because you,
Speaker 3: like everybody, you are the wrong.
Speaker 2: You're doing too much, too much site.
Speaker 3: Take a prey, he said, Clock out for me, Sweetie,
Speaker 3: clock out.
Speaker 1: It's not on my own podcast.
Speaker 3: Take a break on my own podcast.
Speaker 2: These options for Marie like, gosh.
Speaker 3: Girl, Also, aren't you busy? You won't bet with your assistant?
Speaker 2: Girl?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Yeah, balay Bly, I miss you. Oh wait, and I
Speaker 1: have an announcement. I'll be in San Francisco twenty second
Speaker 1: through the twenty fourth. Unfortunately without Marie. If I had
Speaker 1: a bigger budget, you know what, I would have fluted
Speaker 1: her out. But I will be there at Cobbs Comedy Club.
Speaker 1: Please come and see me. Yes, don't embarrass me. I
Speaker 1: don't know how many tickets are sold. They haven't canceled
Speaker 1: the shows yet, so maybe I'm getting tickets.
Speaker 4: But please come.
Speaker 3: Wow, you're selling this, please, we're all selling No Sydney, Sydney.
Speaker 3: Let's pretend you're on the radio. Okay, you're on I
Speaker 3: don't know ninety seven point one, and you're you're in
Speaker 3: town to promote a show. Promote it, tell people what
Speaker 3: they go see, tell people what they gonna miss if
Speaker 3: they don't show up. Ready you wanting to give you
Speaker 3: sixty seconds? Yes, I'll give you sixty seconds to promote
Speaker 3: this properly, to get people to come out. Ready, your
Speaker 3: time starts now.
Speaker 1: Hey, all my favorite people, you know what your favorite
Speaker 1: person will be in San Francisco at Cobbs Comedy Club
Speaker 1: July twenty second through the twenty fourth. Not only will
Speaker 1: you be getting looks, laughs, and bundles, you will also
Speaker 1: get a view of my girlfriend because she will be
Speaker 1: there in the eye. So please get those tickets so
Speaker 1: you can laugh, laugh, laugh, and then take pictures with
Speaker 1: me and my celebrity girlfriend. You have thirty seconds left,
Speaker 1: Come on down, get those tickets. And you know what,
Speaker 1: if you're not laughing, you will also be drooling because
Speaker 1: let me tell you the outfits, the looks that I
Speaker 1: pulled together right from assos unbelievable.
Speaker 4: Not Clarence, not Clarence at all.
Speaker 3: Seconds left.
Speaker 1: Yes, So again, get those tickets for Cobbs Comedy Club.
Speaker 1: I will be there in San Francisco July twenty second
Speaker 1: through the twenty fourth.
Speaker 3: I'm doing two shows every night. Babe, gorgeous. I was
Speaker 3: better than what you did before. But I mean, sixty
Speaker 3: seconds is a long time when you're trying to sell something.
Speaker 1: Can you just can you just be my coach for everything?
Speaker 1: Marie Down, I need you to be my coach, baby.
Speaker 3: Wooh, I don't think so, honey, Okay, great, Andrew, do
Speaker 3: you have anything that you want to promote or something
Speaker 3: that you're trying to.
Speaker 2: Oh the email for this the that people are emailing.
Speaker 2: I just want to reiterate unofficial expertise at gmail dot
Speaker 2: com expertise because I think I think it's still your
Speaker 2: email in the Instagram button.
Speaker 1: I think so, because they because Marie is getting emails
Speaker 1: left and right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's getting more.
Speaker 4: She's getting more emails. And I got phone calls.
Speaker 2: And then you got phone calls, Sydney. You had an
Speaker 2: assignment last week to do that. Now it's your turn.
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, I gotta log into the un official expert
Speaker 3: and I will change the email to you official expertise.
Speaker 2: Then he needs the clock out. You gotta log in.
Speaker 3: I gottag clock out log in. I mean, yeah, we're
Speaker 3: it's a changing of the guards.
Speaker 4: Clock out log in.
Speaker 3: Okay, Now, one last time before we go, let's read
Speaker 3: through the titles and then we'll pick one. And you
Speaker 3: guys are gonna.
Speaker 2: Let it all right, So slinging and slapping dick he
Speaker 2: she they all sugar daddying down the game. Minnesota ten,
Speaker 2: New York seven. Close your eyes, open your legs, lazy
Speaker 2: eye for the wind. Cowardly lines are not my type.
Speaker 2: Her cops ran over ESPA drills and I didn't catch
Speaker 2: what was the What was the last part of that?
Speaker 3: I don't know because I don't believe in ESPA drills.
Speaker 2: But Sydney, Okay, that's getting cut.
Speaker 3: I think it's Esprah Drilsen Sanser.
Speaker 2: Okay, just let the record show es dress. There we
Speaker 2: had Sodomy What are you saving yourself for? What the
Speaker 2: fuck is Joe Rogan talking about? And clock out log in?
Speaker 3: What are you setting yourself for? Curly lines are not
Speaker 3: my type? What the fuck is Joe Rogan talking? That's
Speaker 3: so funny?
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's a good that's a good fucking title though. What
Speaker 1: the fuck is Joe Rogan talking about? Is funny?
Speaker 2: I know?
Speaker 3: But the people listen to us? Do they listen to
Speaker 3: Joe Rogan? I don't. I don't think it's crossover there.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say no, honestly, what there was one that
Speaker 1: we really really liked.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't remember what it is. The list was real long. Today.
Speaker 4: We had Sodomy.
Speaker 3: Oh, we had Sodomy. I like that, But then there
Speaker 3: was another one.
Speaker 2: I think minisode of ten New York seven, and you
Speaker 2: made a comment about it earlier.
Speaker 3: I like that, but I don't know. You don't have
Speaker 3: to read the list again. But we don't have to
Speaker 3: do that off off offline.
Speaker 2: I can, I can text it to you if you
Speaker 2: want to read it.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, send it to me, Okay, text it to me. Sidon,
Speaker 3: Do you have a show tonight? I do.
Speaker 4: I do have a fucking show. And it's at ten pm.
Speaker 3: Oh, mine's at nine.
Speaker 4: Where's yours?
Speaker 3: Oh in Williamsburg?
Speaker 4: What's yours?
Speaker 3: Comedians you should know.
Speaker 4: Oh, that's gonna be fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know. I always have a good time there.
Speaker 4: What you got yours is a gutter? Mine is at
Speaker 4: Union Hall.
Speaker 3: Oh we're gonna we're gonna miss it. We're gonna miss
Speaker 3: your ten pm comedy show. Okay, all right, okay, Sidney,
Speaker 3: Well you have you have? Yeah, you should definitely take
Speaker 3: this snap that red bull is has passed through you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it got me.
Speaker 3: It got me through the pod though, and that's what
Speaker 3: was most important, honestly, shout out to red Bull, you raggedy.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, guys, I hope y'all enjoyed this, and I
Speaker 3: hope it inspired you to be the best hold that
Speaker 3: you could be this week, or just take a chance
Speaker 3: on something that you've been dragging your feet on, whether
Speaker 3: it's like dating related or not.
Speaker 1: And everything that we said is not just dating related.
Speaker 1: Close your eyes, open your legs. It's for anything.
Speaker 3: It's valuable, valuable. It's a great mantra, open your eyes,
Speaker 3: close your legs. No, close your legs to married men,
Speaker 3: shout out to Nanni Leaks. If anybody knows Ninni and
Speaker 3: wants to get Niini on the pod somehow, let's make that.
Speaker 3: Oh no, honey, bye wig, Let's get at Nini on
Speaker 3: the pod. So Andrew, thank you. I got the all
Speaker 3: the titles and we'll pick one, and then whatever we
Speaker 3: don't pick is going to be in the description with
Speaker 3: zero context. Yep, Okay, got it all right, Okay, bye friends,
Speaker 3: Bye Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production.
Speaker 2: The Unofficial Expert Is Executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Silio,
Speaker 2: and Alex Ramsey.
Speaker 3: Senior producer Tracy Soren, Produced by Andrew McGuire. Cover art
Speaker 3: by Sandy Hoenig.
Speaker 2: To listen to this podcast ad free, sign up for
Speaker 2: Forever Doog Plus at Foreverdogpodcasts dot com slash plus. Check
Speaker 2: out video clips of our podcasts on YouTube at YouTube
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