1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:14,880 Speaker 1: M m, Hey, what up everyone? I hope you're ready 2 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:17,840 Speaker 1: for this week's episode of Dear Cheeks, because I sure him. 3 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,799 Speaker 1: It's been really nice connecting with you guys on a 4 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 1: more direct and intimate level, and I can't wait to 5 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:27,280 Speaker 1: get into today's submissions. This podcast reflects my thoughts and 6 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,320 Speaker 1: opinions and shouldn't be used as a substitute for help 7 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:33,200 Speaker 1: from a professional. So if you're dealing with the serious 8 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:37,239 Speaker 1: issue or hardship, please speak to a qualified professional. Okay, So, 9 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:40,480 Speaker 1: without further ado, let's hop into these questions. The first 10 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:45,479 Speaker 1: one comes from Alfonso. I am a recent bossby from you, 11 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,440 Speaker 1: and I love hallowing you and your journey. I live 12 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:50,640 Speaker 1: in the South. I live in Tennessee, and I was 13 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 1: wondering if you've ever dealt with any kind of racism 14 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 1: as Latin as a Mexican, because here I definitely, unfortunately, 15 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 1: have suffered with a lot. I'm just ever wondered if 16 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:04,040 Speaker 1: you have, you know, living in California with so many 17 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 1: other Latinos, whereas here I didn't grow up with any 18 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,520 Speaker 1: and you know, I still, you know, face it working 19 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:13,440 Speaker 1: with customers and stuff. I just wondered if you have 20 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:18,800 Speaker 1: ever experienced racism. I phone, so hello and welcome to 21 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 1: boss b Nation. I love to hear from new boss base. 22 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:25,520 Speaker 1: Thank you for following me, thank you for sending me 23 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:29,360 Speaker 1: the question. I appreciate it because I believe it or not. 24 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:32,760 Speaker 1: I have quite a few times. The most recent one was, 25 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,240 Speaker 1: I think a few years back. I think it was 26 00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 1: when Donald Trump just got into office and I felt 27 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:43,440 Speaker 1: like all the racists came out of like literally nowhere. 28 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:45,760 Speaker 1: I was like, what is this, What's happening? You know, 29 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,160 Speaker 1: I couldn't believe it. But we were on an airplane 30 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 1: going I believe to a show or I don't exactly 31 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,040 Speaker 1: remember where, but my makeup artist she was walking in 32 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 1: front of me on the plane and she was saying 33 00:01:56,560 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: something to me in Spanish, and I heard a guy say, 34 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 1: why don't you just shut up and just go back 35 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 1: to your country if you're gonna speak Spanish like out loud, 36 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 1: and I remember jessicam makeup artist. She looks back at 37 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:12,640 Speaker 1: me and she's like like she was in shock, and 38 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:16,200 Speaker 1: I was in shock. But I'm not saying this is 39 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 1: the right way to react, but I reacted. So when 40 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:23,160 Speaker 1: I walked by him, I got really close to him 41 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:25,520 Speaker 1: and in his ear, and I said, I'm gonna show 42 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,919 Speaker 1: you where the funk I'm from, motherfucker. I sure did. 43 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:31,799 Speaker 1: I'm not saying that that's the right way to do it, okay, 44 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:33,920 Speaker 1: because your in customer service that phone say okay, but 45 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 1: you're asking me a question. And I'm honest, you guys 46 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 1: know I am straight up. So I was just so livid. 47 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,679 Speaker 1: I was upset. I could not believe and I was like, 48 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:46,399 Speaker 1: what is happening? Like we're not in freaking like nineteen 49 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,680 Speaker 1: freaking thirty or you know what I mean. Like, I'm like, 50 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 1: this is crazy. I couldn't believe it. And now I 51 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:55,000 Speaker 1: think if, especially if I was in customer service, I 52 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 1: would handle it differently. I would just probably tell them, 53 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,359 Speaker 1: you know, you probably need a hug. Can I hug you? 54 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,200 Speaker 1: If you know what I mean, you need a little 55 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 1: bit more love in your life because we're all equal. 56 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,360 Speaker 1: Doesn't matter your skin tone and where you come from. 57 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,920 Speaker 1: It's just we're human and we're all going through our 58 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:16,000 Speaker 1: own battles. But oh, when you're in customer service, I 59 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,360 Speaker 1: think more than anything is don't let it consume your heart, 60 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:24,079 Speaker 1: you know, don't let it change your essence. If they're 61 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 1: mean to you, just smile and show them that you're better. 62 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 1: Take the higher road. Sometimes. I know it's harder, it's 63 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 1: a lot like easier said than done, But I just 64 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 1: know I know who I am, I know what I'm doing, 65 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 1: and if they're being rude for no reason, send them 66 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: love and light, baby, love and light. I always send 67 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 1: love and light to all those people that be trying 68 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 1: to be mean to me. I'm like, I ain't got 69 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:46,200 Speaker 1: no time for it. You want to be mean to me, 70 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:48,720 Speaker 1: there's something going on in your heart because I don't 71 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: deserve it. Now. I'm gonna pray for you. But you 72 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:55,000 Speaker 1: asked me. I'm honest, and I hope that my little 73 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,240 Speaker 1: piece of advice can help you, Papa. So thank you, 74 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: Thank you for your question, thank you for being a USB. 75 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:03,080 Speaker 1: You made me happy when I'm sending you a big 76 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:10,240 Speaker 1: kiss all the way to Tennessee. Next step is a 77 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 1: question from Melinda. Hey, cheek ease. I just got out 78 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:20,039 Speaker 1: of a ten year relationship and I'm just now trying 79 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 1: to get back out in the dating game. I'm nervous 80 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:27,679 Speaker 1: as hell, and to be honest, I'm finding it hard 81 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:33,840 Speaker 1: to connect with other partners, other people because I've been 82 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 1: in a relationship with someone for so long that, to 83 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:42,479 Speaker 1: be real, I don't even know how to connect with myself, 84 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:46,320 Speaker 1: much less getting back out there to try and find 85 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 1: a man. So I'd love to get your advice on 86 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:53,919 Speaker 1: what to do, maybe just some help on how I 87 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:58,559 Speaker 1: can figure out ways to connect with myself really, because 88 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,880 Speaker 1: it's been hard. I I've been so used to being 89 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,800 Speaker 1: in a relationship and asking what the other person wants 90 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 1: to do and what their interests are that I've forgotten 91 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 1: all about me. So I love your help. Thank you, Melinda. Okay, look, 92 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,600 Speaker 1: first of all, be patient with yourself because everything you're 93 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:23,720 Speaker 1: feeling right now is totally normal, especially after getting out 94 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:27,680 Speaker 1: of such a long relationship. I think you kind of 95 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:31,080 Speaker 1: answered your own question since you kind of lost yourself 96 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:34,760 Speaker 1: in your past relationship. I think the most important relationship 97 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 1: is the one with yourself. So yes, we all need love, 98 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:42,600 Speaker 1: we need sex, we need hugs and kisses. I get it, 99 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:45,719 Speaker 1: I get it. But maybe right now, what God wants 100 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 1: with the universe wants is for you to have and 101 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:53,040 Speaker 1: fall in love with yourself again, you know what I mean, 102 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 1: and kind of not close your heart to to love, 103 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 1: but also not go and find it I think when 104 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,960 Speaker 1: we go try and like look for love, we are 105 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,479 Speaker 1: looking so much. Then then we get ourselves in a 106 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:08,440 Speaker 1: bad situation, you know what I mean. So my suggestion 107 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:12,240 Speaker 1: is really find ways to date yourself. When I was single, 108 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 1: I went to the movies by myself. I took myself 109 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 1: to dinner. I got ready for me and I was like, 110 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,800 Speaker 1: I'm hot. And I did things. I started working out 111 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,800 Speaker 1: as you're eating healthier, anything that made me just feel better. 112 00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 1: I would do masks on Sundays and I'm like, okay, 113 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:27,960 Speaker 1: well I don't have a partner, but it's okay. I'm 114 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,800 Speaker 1: gonna put on my mask. I'm gonna white my teeth, 115 00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:31,160 Speaker 1: I'm gonna sit on the couch, and I'm gonna watch 116 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,799 Speaker 1: a movie. It's like little things like that that fulfill 117 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:36,320 Speaker 1: your heart. What are the plans? Just things to like 118 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:39,279 Speaker 1: enjoy your own company, you know what I mean. First, 119 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:43,120 Speaker 1: then when the universe and God is ready to bring 120 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:47,599 Speaker 1: that guy, he will or the universe will. Now. One 121 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,480 Speaker 1: thing I do suggest is in your notes in your 122 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:52,080 Speaker 1: phone or write it down on a piece of paper 123 00:06:52,839 --> 00:06:56,040 Speaker 1: right what you want in a man in your next partner. 124 00:06:56,279 --> 00:06:59,760 Speaker 1: It could sound crazy. You could be like I want 125 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:03,480 Speaker 1: him tall, with green eyes and muscles and no kids 126 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,919 Speaker 1: or whatever. Maybe even if it sounds crazy and you 127 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:10,560 Speaker 1: feel like this guy cannot exist, if you really set 128 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:14,200 Speaker 1: the intention of the type of person down to how 129 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 1: he treats you and for him to be faithful and 130 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:21,320 Speaker 1: look anything, Believe me, the universe is always listening and 131 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,960 Speaker 1: even if you don't get that exact man, you will 132 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,320 Speaker 1: get what you need in that moment. Okay. So what 133 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 1: my heart is telling me to tell you. My advice 134 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:34,280 Speaker 1: is for now, focus on you, focus on yourself, and 135 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,160 Speaker 1: do good things for you. Going to bike ride, going 136 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:43,119 Speaker 1: to walk, on a hike. So thank you for your question, 137 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 1: and I hope I helped. I really really do. And 138 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 1: I'm sending you a big, big hug. And You're not alone. 139 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,240 Speaker 1: The universe loves you and I do too, Okay, Melinda, 140 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,160 Speaker 1: So I can't wait to hear from you again. Thank 141 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:59,400 Speaker 1: you so much. Okay, guys. So last, but definitely not least, 142 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:03,640 Speaker 1: is a question from Michelle. Hi, cheekys, I have a 143 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 1: question for you. I wanted to know how do you 144 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:10,760 Speaker 1: cope with a breakup and what's the easiest way to 145 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 1: like let go of a long term relationship? What is 146 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:19,120 Speaker 1: the way that I could occupy myself or get that 147 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 1: person off my mind. Well, Michelle, it's gonna take time, 148 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:26,920 Speaker 1: and you have to know that the way to get 149 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:31,680 Speaker 1: over someone or to cope with a breakup is really 150 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:37,840 Speaker 1: embracing that pain and crying it out. And instead of 151 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:39,640 Speaker 1: trying to be strong, is that I'm not gonna cry 152 00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:41,760 Speaker 1: and this and that and f that mother like no, 153 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:45,480 Speaker 1: like it's I feel it, I miss him, but this 154 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 1: is what's best for me, and just cry it out. 155 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:51,960 Speaker 1: Crying is so cleansing, like it's just let all that 156 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 1: toxicity out, let it all out. I did a lot 157 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:58,319 Speaker 1: of crying when I separated from my ex husband, and 158 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:01,680 Speaker 1: I was very sad, to the point where I was like, 159 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm going to be able to 160 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,440 Speaker 1: get over this. Thank God, I did you know. I 161 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:09,040 Speaker 1: kept one eye because the other one was crying. I 162 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 1: kept one eye focused on the light at the end 163 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:14,240 Speaker 1: of the tunnel. But I'm gonna tell you, no pain 164 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,719 Speaker 1: lasts forever. And I always say this, hope, h o 165 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:23,720 Speaker 1: pe hold on, pain ends, Okay, tell yourself this too 166 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:28,480 Speaker 1: shall pass. Focus on things that make you happy, whatever 167 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 1: it may be. Read a book, a good book always 168 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,400 Speaker 1: makes yourself feel better when you're giving yourself knowledge and 169 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,920 Speaker 1: you're occupying your mind with something else, whatever type of book. 170 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:40,120 Speaker 1: A book is great. Be okay with being alone, just 171 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,480 Speaker 1: for a little bit. I think that's important. A lot 172 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:44,719 Speaker 1: of us don't know how to be alone. And I'm 173 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 1: telling you because I was just talking to my therapist 174 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,760 Speaker 1: about that the other day, so I get it. Be patient. 175 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,680 Speaker 1: I always say this because it's to be patient and 176 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 1: compassion to understand. Thank goodness, you're not the first and 177 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:57,840 Speaker 1: you're not the last. We've all gone through it. And again, 178 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,160 Speaker 1: like I just told Melinda, you're not alone. Michelle, you 179 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 1: got this. This too shall pass, and it helps just 180 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 1: saying those words. It just makes you feel better. Pray always, 181 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:11,960 Speaker 1: pray for strength, Michelle. I'm machine you the best. I'm 182 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,040 Speaker 1: sending you a big hug. Thank you so much to 183 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,840 Speaker 1: our phone so me, Linda, Michelle, I really really appreciate 184 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:20,920 Speaker 1: you listening to the podcast and submitting your questions. Once again, 185 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:24,440 Speaker 1: please don't hesitate to seek help from a professional if 186 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:30,440 Speaker 1: you're suffering an issue or hardship. You guys, these are 187 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 1: just my thoughts and opinions I'm sharing with you from 188 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 1: the bottom of my heart. I help you all have 189 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:37,080 Speaker 1: a really great week, and don't forget to check out 190 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:40,320 Speaker 1: my longer more in Debt podcast Cheeks and Chill. New 191 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:43,560 Speaker 1: episodes drop every Monday. Kay. You can listen wherever you 192 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows. Bye bye, guys, los amom 193 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:55,560 Speaker 1: m HM. This is a production of I Heart Radio 194 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:59,640 Speaker 1: and the Michael Podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at 195 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 1: Michael Tour Podcasts, then follow me chick ees that's c 196 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:06,320 Speaker 1: h i q u i s. For more podcasts from 197 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:09,720 Speaker 1: my heart, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, 198 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,199 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.