WEBVTT - Picky Eaters 0:00:01.880 --> 0:00:09.760 Find Out and podcast. All right, I'm jumping right into it. 0:00:09.960 --> 0:00:17.560 We've been having swim lessons with Jolie right and Jane 0:00:17.640 --> 0:00:21.079 and I have been stuck with like kind of back 0:00:21.120 --> 0:00:24.319 and forth with not rushing things, but also it's like, 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:29.479 where's that point of you gotta push them? You know. 0:00:29.560 --> 0:00:31.880 It's like I'm trying to We're trying to find that 0:00:31.880 --> 0:00:36.760 balance a little bit between like really fortunate, No, you 0:00:36.840 --> 0:00:38.680 gotta get in, you got us to get under water 0:00:38.840 --> 0:00:41.600 to Okay, let's not rush her. Let's not like traumatizer 0:00:41.600 --> 0:00:43.600 around this. Let's not have her scared of the pool. 0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:48.640 Here's my thing though with that is the lessons that 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:52.000 she did in Los Angeles. I mean, of course she's 0:00:52.040 --> 0:00:56.600 crying in the very beginning, but she was awesome moving forward, 0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:00.440 and so I think it's one of those things where, yeah, 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:02.280 it is that weird balance, like we're not sure like 0:01:02.320 --> 0:01:04.319 what to do, especially since we're the ones trying to 0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:08.440 teach her. But at the same time, it's like, you know, 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:12.679 last summer, she was you know, awesome at swimming, and 0:01:12.720 --> 0:01:14.959 she would swim to us and not have her floaties on, 0:01:15.000 --> 0:01:17.640 and in this summer she's terrified and has to have 0:01:17.640 --> 0:01:19.280 her floaties on. So I don't know if that's like 0:01:19.319 --> 0:01:24.319 a a normal thing where but it's you know, I 0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:27.920 don't think she's been traumatized. Last summer, she like we 0:01:27.959 --> 0:01:30.960 have a a photo of her being thrown up in 0:01:31.000 --> 0:01:32.760 the air. It's thrown her there and should lay in 0:01:32.760 --> 0:01:34.480 the water. We'd look at each other under water. She 0:01:34.480 --> 0:01:37.880 would hold onto my neck. We dive like great swimming, 0:01:37.880 --> 0:01:40.039 and then all of a sudden, it's like she doesn't 0:01:40.040 --> 0:01:41.640 know how to swim. We'll talk to are some of 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:44.400 our friends who have kids around the same age and older. 0:01:44.480 --> 0:01:47.720 They said, it's fairly normal with you know, because they 0:01:47.760 --> 0:01:50.800 go a whole season without being in the pool, so 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:53.600 it's new again they have they're a little bit older 0:01:53.600 --> 0:01:55.680 and more and they're maturing a little bit. They have 0:01:55.680 --> 0:01:58.480 different feelings about things, so it's a little bit more 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:02.240 insecure and you know, so it's it's just been tough 0:02:02.280 --> 0:02:05.200 with that battle and not. But I don't know, I 0:02:05.240 --> 0:02:11.400 just I guess where are you at with it? I 0:02:11.440 --> 0:02:16.160 think with these situations, I'm almost I walk on on 0:02:16.240 --> 0:02:20.760 next shows too much because maybe I'm fearful of being 0:02:20.800 --> 0:02:25.320 too hard. Maybe I'm fearful of being the way you 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:28.640 know my parents were at times, or anybody's parents were 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:31.239 at times right where it's just like, you know, shut 0:02:31.320 --> 0:02:34.200 up and get in or or whatever. And you're almost like, 0:02:34.240 --> 0:02:36.040 just give her the floaties, like who cares, She'll learn 0:02:36.080 --> 0:02:39.320 when she learns. Yeah, I don't know. I'm just would 0:02:39.320 --> 0:02:43.359 you be the same way with Jace. Yeah, that's the 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:45.400 that's the thing, like even with Jason will be the 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:48.799 same way. Has nothing to do with like it being 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:53.760 Jolly and versus Jason. It's has everything to do with well, 0:02:53.760 --> 0:02:55.240 I just say that because I know you say that, 0:02:55.280 --> 0:02:57.240 Like like that one kid at my gym last year, 0:02:57.320 --> 0:02:59.880 You're like, come on, kids, like stop the little bit 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:02.120 a little boy versus if it was a girl. It's like, oh, 0:03:02.120 --> 0:03:06.480 are you okay? For sure? But with with this situation, 0:03:06.639 --> 0:03:09.120 I would be the same either way. And I because 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:11.160 I've catch myself, I just want to be like Jolie 0:03:11.200 --> 0:03:14.560 just getting the water stop. Yeah, but I don't. I 0:03:14.600 --> 0:03:16.959 don't do that. But that part of you that gets 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:20.200 frustrated once too because they can't understand what we're when 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:22.640 we're trying to explain to her, Jolie, last summer, you 0:03:22.680 --> 0:03:25.639 were a little fish. Now all of a sudden, you 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:28.240 don't want to put your foot in without a floaty. 0:03:28.800 --> 0:03:32.600 I wonder if we could get like a child psychiatrist, 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:38.360 a psychologist, yeah, children's psychologists, because I think that would 0:03:38.360 --> 0:03:41.480 help us because I don't know, I don't know what 0:03:41.640 --> 0:03:43.880 the right thing to say or do is because I 0:03:43.960 --> 0:03:46.360 kind of lean in the way of just throw her in, 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:50.119 you know, for sure, and she has to go underwater, 0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:53.640 like let's we're being too like But again, like you say, 0:03:53.760 --> 0:03:56.920 that's almost probably that maybe that's too aggressive and she, 0:03:57.960 --> 0:04:01.560 you know, she she needs to go baby steps towards it. Again, 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:05.080 So maybe if we had someone that could help us 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:07.360 kind of guide us through some of the things that 0:04:07.400 --> 0:04:10.520 we're dealing with her, and especially when it comes to 0:04:10.560 --> 0:04:13.920 like today we have a a food specialist on a 0:04:14.000 --> 0:04:17.640 nutritionalist who deals with children, because you know, kind of 0:04:17.640 --> 0:04:20.479 the same thing we're dealing with Jaces. We don't like, 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:24.200 he won't eat anything, and it's frustrating because we're like, 0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:27.240 do we are are we at the stage where we 0:04:27.240 --> 0:04:29.520 were Jolie where it's like, okay, she doesn't eat or 0:04:30.200 --> 0:04:32.680 do you feed because kids are going to eat when 0:04:32.680 --> 0:04:34.920 they're hungry. It's my mom always said they're gonna eat 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:37.599 when they're hungry, right, But we also have the routine 0:04:37.600 --> 0:04:40.520 of this is what time, dinner time is, and then 0:04:40.560 --> 0:04:42.760 if we offer all these things, and then do we 0:04:42.880 --> 0:04:46.120 keep offering foods or what do we do? And he'll 0:04:46.160 --> 0:04:49.000 he'll crush something one night. The next night you'll try 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:51.080 to get him the same thing. He'll act like he's 0:04:51.160 --> 0:04:52.880 never seen it before and doesn't want to touch it 0:04:52.920 --> 0:04:55.920 with a ten foot fork. So I'm so excited to 0:04:55.960 --> 0:04:58.240 talk to our guests later because we definitely need help 0:04:58.279 --> 0:05:02.080 with that. Um. But when it comes to the you know, 0:05:02.120 --> 0:05:05.640 the child psychology behind the children's psychology behind that, I don't. 0:05:05.920 --> 0:05:07.960 I honestly don't know what the right thing is to do. 0:05:08.080 --> 0:05:13.200 I know that my annoyance levels heightened. Yeah, and let 0:05:13.200 --> 0:05:18.039 me to be honest about something or vulnerable about something, please. 0:05:19.160 --> 0:05:28.039 I have a fear. I'm terrified that, you know, if 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:34.599 I pushed the kids too much, that they'll feel the 0:05:34.640 --> 0:05:38.359 way I did about like my dad at times. And 0:05:38.440 --> 0:05:41.400 like I'm so terrified of that. Oh that makes me TiO, 0:05:41.880 --> 0:05:44.320 I know, And like I don't want my kids to 0:05:44.640 --> 0:05:46.520 ever think like I'm too hard on them. I don't 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:49.120 want my kids to ever think like that I don't 0:05:49.120 --> 0:05:52.880 love them, that I don't have their back, that I'm 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:55.800 there to support them no matter what, which I know, 0:05:55.960 --> 0:05:59.800 you know, my dad always was, but because of the 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:01.880 way he was treated, you know, it's a generational thing. 0:06:01.960 --> 0:06:04.440 It's I understood that he did the best that he 0:06:04.440 --> 0:06:07.320 could and and all of that, and I love my 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:10.800 dad at death, but I just know how as a kid, 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:13.880 how I received certain things that he did, and I'm 0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:19.039 just I'm fearful of of our kids receiving things the 0:06:19.080 --> 0:06:20.440 way I did as a kid because I was a 0:06:20.480 --> 0:06:26.640 sensitive kid, and I just so it was with something 0:06:26.680 --> 0:06:28.640 like this. This is why it like racks my brain 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:34.240 a lot, because I'm just get her the floating just 0:06:33.680 --> 0:06:37.640 like now, I'm I don't want you to ever feel 0:06:37.720 --> 0:06:40.280 like like I wouldn't want them to feel the same 0:06:40.279 --> 0:06:43.279 way that you did, and nor do I want you 0:06:43.360 --> 0:06:47.200 to feel that, because it's in a way you're simultaneously 0:06:47.240 --> 0:06:52.720 getting triggered right right, And you know, it's just it 0:06:52.880 --> 0:06:56.480 just sucks because it's it's all everything in moderation. Everything 0:06:56.480 --> 0:07:00.880 in life is about moderation. But as I can't always 0:07:00.920 --> 0:07:03.320 do that because then they're gonna be soft. Is putting like, 0:07:03.440 --> 0:07:05.200 you know what I mean, and we don't want that 0:07:05.279 --> 0:07:09.240 because you and I are two hardheaded, strong people. So 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:13.400 it's it's just that balance. And but because Jolie is 0:07:13.400 --> 0:07:17.520 getting older and at this age she'll start to remember 0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:22.800 things more, you know, four going on five, I'm just 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:29.840 really terrifying, right, I'm just tiptoeing around around these kind 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:32.640 of things a little bit more. I'm gonna get that. 0:07:32.720 --> 0:07:39.320 I appreciate you sharing. Yeah, I definitely can empathize with that, 0:07:39.400 --> 0:07:42.040 and you know, and I can lean into you in 0:07:42.080 --> 0:07:44.280 those moments, like if there's something where you can say like, hey, 0:07:44.320 --> 0:07:49.480 I'm I'm feeling childhood here, where then I can step 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:52.440 into that. You don't maybe have to be that to 0:07:52.520 --> 0:07:55.000 get triggered on, do you know what I'm saying? Where 0:07:55.000 --> 0:07:57.640 then I can either be the which I don't always 0:07:57.640 --> 0:07:59.320 want to be, which you don't always want to be 0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:04.320 the dresser, or the one that you know gets like 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:07.200 that balance each other out there. Yeah, But I mean 0:08:07.240 --> 0:08:09.320 in those situations, if you ever start to feel that, 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:15.080 like in the moment, I guess to express that to 0:08:15.120 --> 0:08:16.920 me so that way I can help you out so 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:20.280 that you don't I might need I might need to 0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:23.840 tag you in be like, hey, I don't know how 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:28.040 to navigate this right now because of my own Yeah, 0:08:28.160 --> 0:08:31.720 that's that's that would be the best thing, you know, 0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:34.360 for for everybody involved, you know, because I don't want 0:08:34.360 --> 0:08:36.920 you feeling that way. You don't want to go back 0:08:36.920 --> 0:08:40.959 on Jolie or Jason, you know. And and then I'll 0:08:41.000 --> 0:08:43.000 kind of assess the situation to see, Okay, do we 0:08:43.400 --> 0:08:45.760 push or do we not push or you know, or 0:08:46.240 --> 0:08:51.280 because you're right, I mean, what is too hard for 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:53.480 the kid. But also again, they still have to have 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:56.800 certain boundaries, which I think we do great out we 0:08:56.960 --> 0:09:01.520 both when it comes to respect for people, in respect 0:09:01.600 --> 0:09:06.360 for us and um and listening and stuff like we 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:09.040 we give her chances and then it's like k, third strike, 0:09:09.080 --> 0:09:11.440 your outgo to your room, which I think we're good 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:14.800 with that, but yeah, when it comes to extracurricular things 0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:18.680 where it's you don't want to be too hard, And 0:09:18.840 --> 0:09:21.040 I've caught myself being like, Julie, why would you do that? 0:09:21.800 --> 0:09:23.320 You know, And I think to myself, I'm like, the 0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:26.000 second I said that, I was like, because she's for Janna. 0:09:26.400 --> 0:09:28.640 That's why she did that. Because she doesn't know any better. 0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:30.640 So instead of saying why would you do that? Maybe 0:09:30.640 --> 0:09:33.760 say hey, let me tell you why maybe we shouldn't 0:09:33.760 --> 0:09:36.680 do this so that they actually understand. But I have 0:09:36.760 --> 0:09:38.559 caught myself do that a few times and I feel 0:09:38.600 --> 0:09:41.680 so crappy afterwards, like why would you put your foot 0:09:41.679 --> 0:09:45.160 in the laundry basket when? And then why would you 0:09:45.200 --> 0:09:48.480 stand on to matchbox cars? That's that was today. She 0:09:49.040 --> 0:09:52.200 was standing at trying to like skating around the house 0:09:52.200 --> 0:09:55.600 with two matchbox cars under her feet. But again, she's 0:09:55.600 --> 0:09:58.560 a kid. That sounds that sounds fun. Why don't we 0:09:58.600 --> 0:10:01.720 go skate around with max match box cars under our feet? 0:10:01.720 --> 0:10:03.199 You wouldn't have to tell me with a good time? 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:04.880 Too too hard at that I could go out there 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:08.319 and try it right now. But yeah, it's just I 0:10:08.320 --> 0:10:10.560 don't know. It's just tough to navigate that stuff as parents. 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:13.760 And it's like I feel like there's ends of the spectrum, right. 0:10:13.760 --> 0:10:16.120 It's like I contribute our work in therapy to even 0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:19.880 be able to acknowledge that that I don't just jump 0:10:19.880 --> 0:10:22.280 to the negative and it's like, well, you know, this 0:10:22.320 --> 0:10:24.840 is how I was reading situations, So that's how it's done, 0:10:25.080 --> 0:10:27.120 and just do it or be the opposite end, where 0:10:27.160 --> 0:10:30.640 it's like you don't want to do that so much 0:10:30.679 --> 0:10:33.800 so that you enable them and then they never do 0:10:33.880 --> 0:10:36.680 anything for themselves and then you're just ruining their life 0:10:36.679 --> 0:10:40.920 as they get older, you know. So it's I'm trying 0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:42.480 to do the work here, and we're both trying to 0:10:42.520 --> 0:10:45.160 do the work by acknowledging both sides of things and 0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:48.719 discuss things like this with y'all and with each other. 0:10:50.160 --> 0:10:51.920 But it's just that stuff that comes up there. You're 0:10:51.960 --> 0:10:56.960 just like, damn, parenting is hard and there's no there's 0:10:56.960 --> 0:10:59.559 no rule book for it either. But I would really 0:10:59.600 --> 0:11:02.599 like to talk to I mean, because we a psychologist, 0:11:02.679 --> 0:11:05.400 a children's you know, psychologist would be great for that too, 0:11:06.200 --> 0:11:12.640 you know, because how to kind of balance that and um, yeah, 0:11:12.920 --> 0:11:15.520 we should look into that if anyone knows a good 0:11:15.520 --> 0:11:18.719 one too. D M s the One Down podcast. Um, 0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:21.719 thanks for sharing, Mike, I appreciate it. And when you're 0:11:21.720 --> 0:11:24.760 in that situation again, please just kind of be like, hey, 0:11:26.679 --> 0:11:34.160 podcast episode triggered dag copy. Um, let's take a break 0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:37.760 and then when we come back. Jennifer Anderson, she's I've 0:11:37.800 --> 0:11:40.080 stalked her on Instagram for quite a while now because 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:45.320 of Jason's eating habits. Um her her her instagram as 0:11:45.400 --> 0:11:47.920 Kids Eating Color I'm super excited to talk to her. 0:11:48.559 --> 0:12:05.199 Help help us. Um, we'll be back. So I'm so 0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:09.040 excited because boy, do we need help? And you track 0:12:09.160 --> 0:12:11.800 this person down. Oh, I straight up flit into her 0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:14.400 d m S. I was like, hey, I swear like 0:12:14.440 --> 0:12:16.640 I'm not a stalker, but I'm stock you every day. 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:19.200 He and I need I need more help. Um we 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:22.960 have on the show. Um, Jennifer Anderson who is Kids 0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:26.800 Eating Color um on Instagram. I'm obsessed with her. Welcome 0:12:26.840 --> 0:12:31.280 to the show. Thank you so much. Jan I'm Mike. Um. 0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:33.439 I just I don't even know where to start because 0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:36.160 I kind of feel a little helpless when it comes 0:12:36.200 --> 0:12:41.600 to what's going on with Jace and his eating patterns. 0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:44.559 It's just becoming where I just throw my hands out 0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:46.360 and I'm like, fine, have this. I don't like because 0:12:46.400 --> 0:12:48.840 it's just that was you yesterday when you're trying to 0:12:48.880 --> 0:12:50.960 feed him dinner. Yeah. I was just like, all right, 0:12:51.000 --> 0:12:55.199 crackers here, Like, sorry, Jennifer, don't be mad at me, 0:12:55.800 --> 0:13:00.560 but it's just so you're a dietitian and a mom 0:13:00.600 --> 0:13:04.760 of two boys. Um, so you're you know you're you're 0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:07.280 in it. How old are your boys right now? They 0:13:07.320 --> 0:13:09.280 are four and six but about to be five and seven. 0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:12.920 So you went through all the you know, the toddler 0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:17.000 phases of refusing to eat and all that. Yep, we 0:13:17.120 --> 0:13:19.520 have started. I had one kid fall off the growth chart. 0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:22.880 My other one has been very selective and continues to 0:13:22.920 --> 0:13:26.880 be because selective eating starts early and it doesn't go 0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:30.480 away right away, you know. So what how did you 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:32.680 start your Instagram? Was it just that you knew other 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:36.280 moms were desperate for help? You know what it was 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:38.280 because I was desperate for help, and I thought. I 0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:40.600 stood in my kitchen and I had been making these 0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:42.640 cute little lunches for my three year old, trying to 0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:44.960 get him to eat because he tends not to eat enough. 0:13:45.480 --> 0:13:47.440 And I stood there and I thought to myself, I 0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:50.800 cannot be the only mom struggling like this, And it 0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:53.400 turns out I wasn't. And so I just started posting 0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:57.520 cute little pictures of his lunches and little feeding tip 0:13:57.520 --> 0:14:01.679 tips in the captions, and and pretty soon people are like, 0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:04.000 oh my gosh, when I do this, my child eats, 0:14:04.320 --> 0:14:07.320 my child eat broccoli, My child to eating more food, 0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:12.080 and I became just obsessed with helping other parents feed 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:14.559 their kids. And now you have almost a million followers 0:14:14.720 --> 0:14:19.720 because of that. So you're like, she's like yeah, Like 0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:22.800 I was like, you know what, I cannot be the 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:24.840 only person, And it turns out no, I'm not the 0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:27.080 only person, not at all. Um, do you kind of 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:30.320 want to tell her what's going on with Jace? You 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:32.520 know it's it's funny, how yeah. I mean, as you know, 0:14:32.600 --> 0:14:35.440 every kid is different, right, And Jolie, our daughter, four 0:14:35.520 --> 0:14:39.880 year old, has always been a fantastic eater, I mean amazing, seamless. 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:44.840 And Jason has been fantastic and like every other area 0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:47.000 except for when it comes to eating, and he's been 0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:51.080 super picky. And the frustrating part for us is he'll 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:54.160 crush something one day. The next day, if we get 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:57.080 him the same thing, I won't want it. Nope, I 0:14:57.080 --> 0:15:00.120 don't want it. Like you literally just had Yeah you 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:02.600 literally just have this chicken or this macaroni even macaroni 0:15:02.640 --> 0:15:05.240 and cheese. Are like, we know you love this, how 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:07.640 are you not eating it? And then I'll also say 0:15:07.680 --> 0:15:12.640 to just to like book and that where he we 0:15:12.720 --> 0:15:16.840 know that he would love spaghetti or a cookie or 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:19.320 something like that, and he will refuse to eat it. 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:21.000 We're to the point where Michael and I have had 0:15:21.000 --> 0:15:24.400 to hold his head to try to like just taste it, 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:28.560 and he screams. And then when he tastes it, he's like, oh, 0:15:28.680 --> 0:15:32.040 I like it, and we're like, a we told you 0:15:32.040 --> 0:15:34.880 you would like it, you know, And we've done the 0:15:34.880 --> 0:15:38.240 whole trick, like mommy, eat one, like feed mommy, and 0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:40.080 then we try like we've done everything, and we don't 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:41.760 know what to do because we probably know holding his 0:15:41.800 --> 0:15:43.640 head and shoving food in his face to give him 0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:46.240 to try it is not the right thing to do. Well. 0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:48.160 That tells me right there that you guys are good 0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:50.920 parents and you know what you're doing. Sometimes we do 0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:53.680 things when we're totally desperate and we're like this cannot 0:15:53.680 --> 0:15:57.320 be the right way, and then as like there are 0:15:57.360 --> 0:15:59.760 other options for you. How old is Jase. He's eighteen 0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:04.000 months eighteen months, so that's like right at the like 0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:06.480 some of the hardest times of picky eating, And you 0:16:06.520 --> 0:16:09.200 guys have an amazing opportunity because what you do right 0:16:09.240 --> 0:16:11.720 now can either set you on the path of him 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:16.960 becoming more picky and or really turn the tide and 0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:19.560 give him the freedom to learn to become a better eater. 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:23.320 My guess is because your daughter, your four year old 0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:26.400 daughter is has always eaten great. You are thinking, You're 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:29.600 probably thinking to yourself, it can't be our fault, right, Well, 0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:32.080 I will say this though, Remember that time where she'd 0:16:32.160 --> 0:16:34.600 only eat mac and cheese, and the only way we 0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:36.520 got her and this is Jennifer, You're gonna think this 0:16:36.560 --> 0:16:38.720 is awful. The only way we got her to eat 0:16:38.800 --> 0:16:41.440 something other than mac and cheese is we would turn 0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:44.360 on TV so that she didn't notice that she was 0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:47.000 eating a piece of broccoli. Well, and we're it was 0:16:47.040 --> 0:16:49.080 when she was old enough to negotiate. So it's like, 0:16:49.120 --> 0:16:52.000 if you take a bite of this, like, will will 0:16:52.160 --> 0:16:55.920 push play on the TV. And once we got her 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:57.760 in the habit of eating that stuff, then we cut 0:16:57.800 --> 0:17:00.640 the t V out. And again it's some might shame 0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:03.280 or judge on that. But now she's four and she 0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:09.080 eats everything. Yeah. Yeah, So what I can tell you is, um, 0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:12.120 there are other things you can do that may take 0:17:12.119 --> 0:17:14.800 a little bit more time, but a little less effort 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:16.159 on your because then you probably had to wean her 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:18.960 off the TV, and that probably wasn't fun and that 0:17:19.160 --> 0:17:21.680 all things. So I will say what I can tell 0:17:21.760 --> 0:17:24.400 right now is you guys are problems solvers. You want 0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:27.160 to future kids the best way possible. I never ever 0:17:27.359 --> 0:17:31.480 judge ever. Remember I had a kid fall off the 0:17:31.480 --> 0:17:35.800 growth chart heating kids. It's really tricky. I have nothing 0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:39.760 to say. Um, I definitely just went and bought a 0:17:39.760 --> 0:17:42.240 piece of last night because I was like, this day 0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:44.760 is too much for me. So you know, if you 0:17:44.840 --> 0:17:47.080 need to talk to somebody who's not going to judge 0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:48.920 you and it's going to see you as a problem solver, 0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:51.520 than you came to the right amazing. So help us? 0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:54.359 How do we? How do we? Because it's so frustrating 0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:56.639 when I know he would like something and he doesn't 0:17:56.680 --> 0:17:58.840 eat it right or try it, just try it, like 0:17:59.000 --> 0:18:03.320 try mic. My guess is Jason as a and you 0:18:03.320 --> 0:18:05.720 can tell me if I'm right wrong. Is a really 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:08.480 strong kid who's really creative and knows what he wants 0:18:09.119 --> 0:18:13.360 and maybe has opinions. He's definitely getting an opinion for sure, 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:18.440 starting to spike out. Yeah, so that's awesome, right. That 0:18:18.520 --> 0:18:21.280 means you have have a super fun, awesome kid. I 0:18:21.359 --> 0:18:25.200 have to extraordinarily opinionated kids. That makes them very exciting. 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:29.640 It also at times makes them difficult to feed, right, 0:18:30.119 --> 0:18:33.840 because my guess is he really has an opinion about 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:37.200 what is going in his mouth. And what we see 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:40.200 with kids and eating is, yeah, you can force them. 0:18:40.200 --> 0:18:42.320 You could turn on the TV, you can get them 0:18:42.320 --> 0:18:45.400 to eat, you can bribe them with candy, and well, 0:18:45.680 --> 0:18:48.080 that may work for some kids, like it did for 0:18:48.119 --> 0:18:52.200 your daughter. A lot of times, it just creates more 0:18:52.240 --> 0:18:56.040 problems that we have to deal with later. And so 0:18:56.080 --> 0:18:57.480 what we want to do is we want to use 0:18:58.000 --> 0:19:01.840 some of those evidence based strategies that teach kids how 0:19:01.880 --> 0:19:04.600 to eat and take the stress off of us, because 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:09.280 you guys sound like you're stressed, right, It's just frustrating. 0:19:09.320 --> 0:19:12.840 Like five, When five o'clock rolls around, I start to panic, like, 0:19:13.240 --> 0:19:15.960 oh God, like is this gonna be We're gonna pull 0:19:16.000 --> 0:19:18.040 our hair out and he's gonna scream? Is he gonna 0:19:18.040 --> 0:19:20.920 throw everything and not eat? You know, or try your 0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:23.040 blood pressure? Your blood pressure is going up. It's like, 0:19:23.040 --> 0:19:25.520 oh my gosh, five o'clock. You are not alone. There 0:19:25.560 --> 0:19:28.000 are so many parents who have that feeling like I've 0:19:28.000 --> 0:19:30.240 felt it myself, Like you're like, oh my gosh, there're 0:19:30.400 --> 0:19:34.720 one one woman in my feeding program better bits. She said, Um, 0:19:34.760 --> 0:19:38.240 I feel like I'm preparing for a world war battle 0:19:38.600 --> 0:19:40.560 every time I go to sit down in a meal. 0:19:41.080 --> 0:19:43.320 So you're not alone. The first thing that I always 0:19:43.400 --> 0:19:47.040 recommend parents do. The first thing is start by saying, oh, hey, 0:19:47.080 --> 0:19:49.280 you don't have to eat it. Don't even give it 0:19:49.320 --> 0:19:52.560 to them. Put it on the table, sit down, have 0:19:52.600 --> 0:19:55.120 a family meal together. Make sure you have a meal. 0:19:55.480 --> 0:19:57.080 Make sure you have a food that you know he likes. 0:19:57.080 --> 0:19:59.800 That macaroni and cheese you were talking about is perfect, right, 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:02.159 put it down on the table. Hey, we're all going 0:20:02.200 --> 0:20:04.639 to sit down for the meal. Don't put anything on 0:20:04.680 --> 0:20:09.600 his plate. I find that eighteen month olds usually like 0:20:09.720 --> 0:20:13.000 look around at that point and they're like, why didn't 0:20:13.040 --> 0:20:15.439 you give me any food? And but you dish up 0:20:15.480 --> 0:20:19.320 your plate, dish up your daughter's plate, enjoy the food. 0:20:19.400 --> 0:20:21.760 Oh my gosh, this macarny cheese is so good. Now, 0:20:21.920 --> 0:20:24.200 your point in doing that is not to like put 0:20:24.200 --> 0:20:26.359 on a show, because even eighteen month olds know when 0:20:26.359 --> 0:20:27.879 you're putting on a show. Right, he sounds like a 0:20:27.920 --> 0:20:31.639 smart kid, So what he needs to know is that 0:20:31.680 --> 0:20:34.160 he actually doesn't have to eat anything. He doesn't want 0:20:34.200 --> 0:20:40.639 to nothing, and at that point he may ask for something. 0:20:40.640 --> 0:20:44.560 You may say, you know, wear mine or macaroni or 0:20:44.840 --> 0:20:47.560 you know, whatever he likes to say or point or 0:20:48.200 --> 0:20:50.960 a sign, you know, wherever he's at with that. So 0:20:51.240 --> 0:20:55.080 I find that to be one of the absolute most 0:20:55.119 --> 0:20:58.240 effective strategies. When you, as a parent, stop carrying what 0:20:58.280 --> 0:21:00.239 they actually eat at the meal. And I know this 0:21:00.320 --> 0:21:03.720 is like impossible, so pretend like you you don't care 0:21:04.160 --> 0:21:06.919 what they eat at the meal, keep it totally cool, 0:21:07.840 --> 0:21:10.800 and you enjoy your food and don't give them any 0:21:10.880 --> 0:21:14.280 And I actually one time saw my kids eat a 0:21:14.320 --> 0:21:16.760 hole bowl of staff, like a whole large bowl of 0:21:16.760 --> 0:21:19.119 salad because I told them that I didn't think they 0:21:19.119 --> 0:21:21.200 wanted it, and I only had made some for myself, 0:21:22.080 --> 0:21:24.600 and they were very unhappy with that, and they just 0:21:25.160 --> 0:21:28.320 ate it, and I was like, oh, okay, So what 0:21:28.400 --> 0:21:31.119 happens If he doesn't eat any of it, then that's 0:21:31.160 --> 0:21:33.560 when the parenting comes in. That's when it gets tough. 0:21:33.640 --> 0:21:36.439 So at every single meal, I always recommend you include 0:21:36.440 --> 0:21:40.400 at least one food that he really is comfortable with. 0:21:40.720 --> 0:21:43.120 So picky eaters you have to remember and most people 0:21:43.160 --> 0:21:45.840 don't understand this, but most picky eaters are picky for 0:21:45.880 --> 0:21:50.440