1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,000 Speaker 1: Welcome to Jesshill with Doctor J, a production of the 2 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:07,160 Speaker 1: Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio. Welcome back to another 3 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:10,240 Speaker 1: episode of Just Hell with Doctor J. And I am 4 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:14,960 Speaker 1: your host, Doctor J. Barnett, and I'm excited about today's guests. 5 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:18,959 Speaker 1: I have my great friend, you know her as missus Cookie, 6 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,680 Speaker 1: but I know her as Tea and all of the 7 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:25,160 Speaker 1: many characters that we have been blessed to see her play. 8 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 1: But today we want to have a conversation about healing, 9 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,440 Speaker 1: and as y'all know, when you come into the Healing community, 10 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:35,800 Speaker 1: we're talking about things that are impactful for our journey, 11 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:38,199 Speaker 1: that can impact our life. And I'm so happy to 12 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:42,600 Speaker 1: have my friend tagip Henson joining me with the Healing 13 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:47,320 Speaker 1: Community day. Welcome, Thank you listen. I am excited about 14 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:51,080 Speaker 1: this episode and this episode I think that's going to 15 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:54,320 Speaker 1: be transformed because May is mental health money and we 16 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 1: have been working together for a number of years under 17 00:00:57,080 --> 00:01:01,960 Speaker 1: the bors Henson Foundation in free therapy to black men 18 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 1: and black women. And I just think this conversation is 19 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,160 Speaker 1: not had enough, even though we're talking about it more. 20 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:14,200 Speaker 1: But before I start into the conversation, I always ask 21 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:17,200 Speaker 1: every guest, I don't ask them how they're doing. I 22 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:19,120 Speaker 1: ask them, how are you feeling. 23 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 2: I'm feeling blessed today, really happy, and I'm excited about 24 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 2: today because you know, of course we're having our symposium 25 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:30,320 Speaker 2: and we're helping the kids. And I actually used to 26 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 2: go to oxen Hille High School really, so I feel 27 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,120 Speaker 2: really good about giving back to them in this way. 28 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 2: Before we start, can I just say I'm proud of you, 29 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:42,040 Speaker 2: black man. 30 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:42,760 Speaker 1: Thank you. 31 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:44,959 Speaker 2: I'm just really really proud of you. 32 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:47,960 Speaker 1: I am thank you, thank you, And listen, I want 33 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:52,559 Speaker 1: to say this to everybody. Y'all only know me because 34 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 1: of the riot, well like for real, and so I 35 00:01:56,440 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 1: have to say I'm I'm I'm humble because it was 36 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 1: a black woman. It was you I think came across 37 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:06,280 Speaker 1: one in my videos and then your team reached out 38 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:10,840 Speaker 1: to me. This is what twenty twenty. This was twenty twenty. Yeah, yeah, 39 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:15,400 Speaker 1: and we did the Breakfast Club virtual at that time, 40 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:19,120 Speaker 1: and I just want to say thank you for seeing 41 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 1: me and for providing the opportunity for the world to 42 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 1: know my voice and not just my story, but the 43 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:31,240 Speaker 1: voice and the impact that I would have on black men. 44 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 1: It was you, and this is why we need. 45 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:37,520 Speaker 2: Black women and we need y'all. 46 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:41,360 Speaker 1: So we need each other. We need each other, and 47 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,360 Speaker 1: I wish, you know, we could settle these these these 48 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 1: wars that we have and online because we're so needed 49 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:50,239 Speaker 1: in just building each other. 50 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:54,079 Speaker 2: Yeah for sure, Yeah sure, So you. 51 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 1: Know you feel blessed. You look amazing. I don't know 52 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:00,520 Speaker 1: what you're drinking and what you're doing, but you look amazing. 53 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:06,920 Speaker 1: Like I know, you take trips to Bali and body 54 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 1: is your place to really get away in the check 55 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:15,120 Speaker 1: out what has that been for your healing journey. 56 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,040 Speaker 2: It's a place. It's a great place to recenter because 57 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:20,240 Speaker 2: it's not a place about vanity. You know a lot 58 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:22,800 Speaker 2: of times when you go overseas, it's about shopping and 59 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,840 Speaker 2: this and that, and that's not where you go for that. 60 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,079 Speaker 2: It's literally eat, pray, love. The people are beautiful. They 61 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:32,359 Speaker 2: pray over everything, they pray over you. It's a lot 62 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 2: of yoga. I mean, the food is from the earth, 63 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:39,880 Speaker 2: everything is clean eating. I just feel so nurtured. We 64 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:43,360 Speaker 2: call it mother Boy because the land is so nurturing. 65 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 2: But that's just that has become my place to go 66 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:51,240 Speaker 2: when I need to recenter, Yeah, get away from it all, 67 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 2: because it's very far. 68 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 1: Now when you go, how long are you gone? 69 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 2: The first time I stayed for a month. The second 70 00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:00,480 Speaker 2: time I went for like two and a half weeks. Yeah, 71 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 2: it's not a quick trip because it takes about twenty 72 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 2: four hours to get there. 73 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:08,640 Speaker 1: Wow. Wow. And when you go there and you resenter yourself, 74 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 1: how does your spirit feels to step away from America? 75 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 2: Let me just tell you this. The first time I went, 76 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 2: I landed at some weird hour in the morning. They 77 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 2: had a herbal bath waiting for me. I took it. 78 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,720 Speaker 2: It was like four o'clock in the morning. By the 79 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 2: time I unpacked and got in a bed, I slept 80 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 2: for twelve hours. Can I tell you the last time 81 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 2: I slept through like twelve straight hours? I since probably 82 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:37,200 Speaker 2: went my twenties when I was going to the clubs 83 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 2: and stuff. 84 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:38,839 Speaker 1: Wow. 85 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, twelve straight hours. And I never could sleep that 86 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,839 Speaker 2: peacefully in the States. 87 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 1: Wow. Do you feel because of the chaos and the 88 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 1: noise is why many of us can't rest? 89 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 2: Absolutely? I literally remember after my month stay, it felt 90 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:02,599 Speaker 2: like it went so fast, and I remember I was 91 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,599 Speaker 2: crying packing coming back. I did not want to come back. 92 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:08,479 Speaker 2: As soon as I got back to America, it was 93 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 2: a mass shooting in Chinatown, and La I. 94 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:15,360 Speaker 1: Was like, and I remember texting you when you come back, 95 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 1: and you was just saying I did not want to 96 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 1: come back, and not want to come back, did not. 97 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:22,280 Speaker 2: Want to come I heard a doctor say, if you 98 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,799 Speaker 2: ever find yourself diagnosed with cancer and you want to survive, 99 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:28,279 Speaker 2: the first thing you got to do is leave America. 100 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 1: What. 101 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,960 Speaker 2: Yes, he said, that's the first thing you have to do. 102 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,200 Speaker 2: He didn't go into the medicines, he didn't go into 103 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 2: holistic he said, the first thing you must do is 104 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:38,760 Speaker 2: leave America. 105 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:47,840 Speaker 1: Wow. You know, I'm writing this book and it's titled 106 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:51,160 Speaker 1: I actually just got agreed to the terms. This is 107 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:54,840 Speaker 1: my first major book deal. And I'm excited about this 108 00:05:54,839 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 1: this because the book is about pursuing pace. The subtitle 109 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:04,720 Speaker 1: is in a world that's not slowing down. And as 110 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:07,080 Speaker 1: you were speaking about the doctor saying you got to 111 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:12,039 Speaker 1: leave here, we're in such a hurry and there's such 112 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:15,600 Speaker 1: stress that we have day to day. And I'm saying 113 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 1: to myself, how do we ever find pace? How do 114 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,000 Speaker 1: you create pace in your busy world? 115 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:25,479 Speaker 2: I where I live is very peaceful. My house sits 116 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,640 Speaker 2: on the hill away from the noise. I don't hear 117 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 2: any street traffic. It's my sanctuary. And I had a 118 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:36,400 Speaker 2: friend who's very clairvoyant say that he saw like Native 119 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:42,960 Speaker 2: Americans around the property in spirit protecting it. So I 120 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,640 Speaker 2: would have friends flying from out of town and they 121 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 2: would come in all stress and they come to my 122 00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:49,200 Speaker 2: house and they would be like, oh my god, I 123 00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:53,159 Speaker 2: just feel so peaceful. And when I was living in Chicago, 124 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,040 Speaker 2: I would, you know, working on that show could be 125 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 2: kind of crazy. When I was on Empire, I would 126 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 2: go to laid back to my house to regather myself. 127 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:07,680 Speaker 2: So that's literally my sanctuary is home. I have two dogs. 128 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,560 Speaker 2: I just got a new puppy. Lord, why did I 129 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 2: do that? Yes, I have Frenchies, two Frenchies, and they're 130 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,520 Speaker 2: my joy. You know, simple things, nothing you know, theything' 131 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 2: about going to a spa or any of that. I 132 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,600 Speaker 2: work out a lot, which for me is more is 133 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 2: more about my mental than this the aesthetics, you know, 134 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 2: because it releases those good endorphins, you know, so simple, 135 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 2: keeping everything really simple, you know, I have my playroom, 136 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,840 Speaker 2: which is my salon. When I was a little girl, 137 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 2: we couldn't afford nothing, and so I always promised myself 138 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 2: when I got older, I would I would make a 139 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 2: room where I could play, and I would buy all 140 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,360 Speaker 2: the things that I couldn't afford when I was a kid. 141 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,720 Speaker 2: And it's my salon and I have my little dog 142 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:55,120 Speaker 2: heads that I go in there and I work. It's 143 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,400 Speaker 2: just where I gotta want to tell all my business. 144 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:01,960 Speaker 2: But yes, my I mean I could be the world 145 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 2: could be burning up and I'd be in my salon 146 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,440 Speaker 2: having fun with my doll heads. 147 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,040 Speaker 1: Like I like that because it's almost like you get 148 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,560 Speaker 1: to connect back to the little girl. 149 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:14,880 Speaker 2: Absolutely. I reached out to Tyler Perry one time. I said, 150 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 2: while the world is burning up, I'm in here watching 151 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 2: my Dea movies and I turned the camera around and 152 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 2: show He said, Wow, Toaji, that's you protected letting that 153 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,160 Speaker 2: taking care of that little TJ little girl. 154 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: And I was like, absolutely, Oh God, this is this 155 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:34,240 Speaker 1: is so rich because I'm sitting here thinking about, you know, 156 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:37,200 Speaker 1: childhood wounds and childhood traumas and all those different things. 157 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 1: And I don't think we realize as we're aging that 158 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: we're either doing one or two things. We're either running 159 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,320 Speaker 1: from the little boy or little girl, or we're trying 160 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:50,360 Speaker 1: to replace or give the little boy a little girl 161 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 1: what they didn't have at that particular time. And as 162 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:58,320 Speaker 1: you were talking about sitting there and playing with the 163 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:02,440 Speaker 1: doll heads, does that bring a level of peace to 164 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:03,560 Speaker 1: the little girl inside of you? 165 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,440 Speaker 2: I forget. I don't my office be trying to reach 166 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 2: me and the phone will be buzzing, and I get 167 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:13,240 Speaker 2: annoyed because I don't want to deal with that, and 168 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,400 Speaker 2: then I'll be like hello, They like, you gotta come 169 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,360 Speaker 2: out of that room. You have to answer these questions. 170 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:21,959 Speaker 2: You gotta sign these documents, and they know when they 171 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,680 Speaker 2: can't find me, they know that's where I am. You know, 172 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:27,800 Speaker 2: it just brings me so much peace and joy. And 173 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:31,680 Speaker 2: that's where I was during the pandemic, like I literally 174 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:32,880 Speaker 2: stayed in my salon. 175 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,640 Speaker 1: Is that how you got through the pandemic. 176 00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:35,839 Speaker 2: That's how I got through it. 177 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:39,560 Speaker 1: So what I'm hearing you saying is healing is a 178 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:42,959 Speaker 1: part of us also reconnecting to our childhood. It's some 179 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:43,679 Speaker 1: sort you. 180 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:47,160 Speaker 2: Said, I look how youthful I look because I never 181 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 2: let that little girl inside of me die. I go 182 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:52,839 Speaker 2: outside and run outside with the dogs. I still play 183 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:56,959 Speaker 2: like a kid. I laugh. You know, I love jokes. 184 00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 2: I love funny, I love laughing. I laugh at myself. 185 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:02,840 Speaker 2: I don't take myself too seriously. That's the stuff that 186 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,920 Speaker 2: keeps you young and stops you from being so hard. 187 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:11,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, because I was reading, I was doing something about 188 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:16,960 Speaker 1: black men and aging, and this new data said the 189 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:20,840 Speaker 1: average life expectancy for black men is sixty one point five, 190 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 1: ten years less of white males, which is seventy two. 191 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,920 Speaker 1: And we're not. You know, we always hear a black 192 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:34,079 Speaker 1: don't crack, right, but internally we're cracking. And when you're 193 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,920 Speaker 1: talking about aging, what has been one of the ways 194 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:41,080 Speaker 1: that you realize that it's the secret to remaining youthful. 195 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:45,320 Speaker 1: As we're aging and as we are evolving. What things 196 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,040 Speaker 1: are you doing? I know you're working out. I know 197 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:50,240 Speaker 1: you go to Bali to retreat. What other things have 198 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,000 Speaker 1: you discovered? 199 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:52,760 Speaker 2: Going to bed at seven? 200 00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 1: I love it. Listen when I tell you, on Friday nights, 201 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,280 Speaker 1: I am so excited to go to bed, like o'clock 202 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:00,800 Speaker 1: on Friday. 203 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:05,600 Speaker 2: That's every night. And so my mother clowned me one 204 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:08,000 Speaker 2: time because I caught FaceTime and she's like, you were 205 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:12,240 Speaker 2: in bed already it was seven o'clock, and I was like, uh, yeah, 206 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:15,679 Speaker 2: I'm telling you, this is my favorite time of the day. 207 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:18,319 Speaker 2: I be dancing to the bed man in that something. 208 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,160 Speaker 1: And I remember when we was kid, you hated it, 209 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 1: hate it. 210 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,280 Speaker 2: Hate. Some nights, I'm in bed by six thirty because 211 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm done with my day. Like I'm done 212 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:31,840 Speaker 2: answering questions. I'm done answering questions. I'm done, you know, 213 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 2: with the you know emails. I'm just I'm ready to 214 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 2: go to bed. And my dogs are they're so used 215 00:11:38,679 --> 00:11:41,120 Speaker 2: to seven. They eat at seven and they go right 216 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,800 Speaker 2: to their crates because they know Mama finished shut it down. 217 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:48,520 Speaker 1: Because I was. I was my mom. She goes to 218 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:52,200 Speaker 1: bed at like six thirty or seven, and she said, baby, 219 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:53,559 Speaker 1: the day is over. It's over. 220 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:54,920 Speaker 2: It's a bride. What else you want from me? 221 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:56,560 Speaker 1: What? 222 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:56,720 Speaker 2: El? 223 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:59,960 Speaker 1: And I'm laughing because you know, my mom heard her husband, 224 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,880 Speaker 1: and you know, she was like, he'll be in there 225 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:06,000 Speaker 1: and going back to the childhood thing. She so he 226 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:10,320 Speaker 1: likes doing puzzles and he likes science projects, so he 227 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:15,120 Speaker 1: like he goes and buys these science projects. And she's like, baby, 228 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 1: I'm been in to bed. I said, what mister Charlie doing. 229 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:20,520 Speaker 1: Oh baby, Charlie there playing with this little tip. She said, 230 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 1: I've gone to bed because I don't think we realized 231 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:31,320 Speaker 1: that we are sleeping, but we don't rest. We're not resting. 232 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:34,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know what, I cut out the alcohol too, 233 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,160 Speaker 2: you know, not that I was a heavy drinker, but 234 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:43,800 Speaker 2: I just can't recover. I can't recovery even if I 235 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:46,520 Speaker 2: have wine. And next day I'm like, I just and 236 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:48,760 Speaker 2: it's just like, what's the point, you know? So I 237 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:52,680 Speaker 2: enjoyed my mock tails, but I noticed since I stopped drinking, 238 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,520 Speaker 2: I have lucid dreams. I can't I can't remember the 239 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,640 Speaker 2: last time used to dream like this. And I wake 240 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 2: up the next day and I remember my dreams like 241 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,040 Speaker 2: I'll get up in the middle of night, go to 242 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:04,199 Speaker 2: the bathroom, go back to sleep, and continue the dream, 243 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 2: the same dream. 244 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:10,720 Speaker 1: And I've often heard doctors talk about how alcohol, you know, 245 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,079 Speaker 1: we don't think about it, even just with wine, but 246 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,920 Speaker 1: just how it can be one of the most deadliest 247 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:20,600 Speaker 1: and not just from my physical perspective, but cognitively. The 248 00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:22,080 Speaker 1: brain doesn't function the same. 249 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,520 Speaker 2: It just does not. It doesn't. 250 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,200 Speaker 1: So for you, what is a good time now when 251 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,280 Speaker 1: you go out, you don't you havening mocktail? Is that 252 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:29,880 Speaker 1: enough for you? 253 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 2: That's enough for me. But see, now we live in 254 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:36,240 Speaker 2: a society where if you're not drinking, something's wrong. Girl, 255 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:39,240 Speaker 2: why are you not drinking? So to remedy that, I 256 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,720 Speaker 2: go straight to the bar and I get a celica water, 257 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 2: put a line in it. Bam. So nobody's asking me questions. 258 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:48,960 Speaker 2: But I found out that I can really enjoy myself 259 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,080 Speaker 2: sober like i've because you know why, I remember what 260 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,880 Speaker 2: I did the night before when I was drinking, and 261 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,360 Speaker 2: people be like, girl, remember when you said up like 262 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,760 Speaker 2: I said that I did that? Like I don't. I 263 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,920 Speaker 2: want to know. I want to know what I did, 264 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,440 Speaker 2: like you know. Then as you're aging, I'm like, does 265 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:08,520 Speaker 2: that mean I'm getting Alzheimer's? You know that's the that's 266 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:12,600 Speaker 2: for fear, you know. So you know, once I proved 267 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,520 Speaker 2: to myself that I could really still go out and 268 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:18,320 Speaker 2: really enjoy. In fact, I think I had more fun 269 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:19,400 Speaker 2: because I remember it. 270 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're present. 271 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:25,080 Speaker 2: Very present. I have not clocked out. But the people, 272 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,400 Speaker 2: the people that are inebriated be talking to me, and 273 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:30,000 Speaker 2: I'm like, you think they really think? They make it sense? 274 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,080 Speaker 1: And you feel like especially. 275 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:36,680 Speaker 2: But I don't judge, you know exactly, I don't judge. 276 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:38,480 Speaker 2: I just you know, I'm like dag that used to 277 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:38,800 Speaker 2: be me. 278 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,360 Speaker 1: Now, let me ask you this. When you were drinking, 279 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:44,200 Speaker 1: do you feel like it was part of just kind 280 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,640 Speaker 1: of escaping social Yeah. 281 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:47,960 Speaker 2: Absolutely, and it was the thing to do. Like it's 282 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,720 Speaker 2: like you going out and drinking is hand in hand, 283 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 2: like even going to dinner and have a grow. First 284 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,320 Speaker 2: thing you do is the first thing they offer you. 285 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,600 Speaker 2: Would you like for cocktails? Here's the drink menu, you know, 286 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,960 Speaker 2: and I found the entries. I'm gonna tell you when 287 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:06,600 Speaker 2: I started thinking about the sobriety was when I went 288 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,520 Speaker 2: to the Paris Olympics. There was no alcohol at any 289 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:13,440 Speaker 2: of the games, at any of the gymnasiums. No alcohol. Well, 290 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:17,280 Speaker 2: and I found that people were present. There were no 291 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:20,480 Speaker 2: drunk drunken fights because you fighting, you know, you rooting 292 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,440 Speaker 2: for your country and this one rooting for you getting 293 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,160 Speaker 2: into these arguments. I mean, it was the most peaceful 294 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:28,680 Speaker 2: and pleasant experience I had at a sporting event. 295 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,320 Speaker 1: Wow, and not even yeah, I wouldn't even think that 296 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:35,040 Speaker 1: how present you could be without the alcohol. 297 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,360 Speaker 2: It's very present. 298 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:42,760 Speaker 1: Wow, you know, speak about being present. I've known you 299 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,000 Speaker 1: and Tracy for a number of years. You guys love 300 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:49,000 Speaker 1: each other out loud. Most people don't have what you 301 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:52,600 Speaker 1: guys have, the years of friendship that you guys have. 302 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:56,280 Speaker 1: Like I'm usually talking to people that are changing friends 303 00:15:56,760 --> 00:16:00,760 Speaker 1: every two to three years and then best friends. How 304 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:07,080 Speaker 1: important has the friendship for you on your healing journey? 305 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:10,360 Speaker 1: Because I often tell clients or just even in my 306 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:15,240 Speaker 1: circle that you can't heal without a community. How important 307 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,720 Speaker 1: is the friendship and having people who can be present. 308 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:23,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, well she's been. She's been very important for me 309 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:27,240 Speaker 2: throughout our friendship throughout life because I was the hot head. 310 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:29,640 Speaker 2: You know, I'm like cush that bitch in the throat, 311 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:32,600 Speaker 2: and she like bring it to zero, come back, find 312 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,960 Speaker 2: your zero, you know what I mean. She's a labor 313 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 2: so she actually balanced me. And I'm a Virgo and 314 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:41,480 Speaker 2: I get heady and I'm very analytical, and so she 315 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,920 Speaker 2: helped me work through that. As a kid and we 316 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,280 Speaker 2: can be very judgmental, she worked with me on that. 317 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:50,920 Speaker 2: So I'm a very conscious virgo, you know what I mean. 318 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,240 Speaker 2: I know how to check myself on that. Part of 319 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 2: my astrological side shows up, you know. What I mean 320 00:16:56,040 --> 00:17:01,560 Speaker 2: because of her, you know, she you know, and going 321 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,440 Speaker 2: through what I go through in the industry, it's good 322 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:07,480 Speaker 2: to have someone to check in on me because I'm 323 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,879 Speaker 2: good at pretending. I have to, you know, I have 324 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:11,960 Speaker 2: to show up to work and put on that smile 325 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:14,720 Speaker 2: even though I'm dying inside, you know what I mean. 326 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:19,000 Speaker 2: And so because I have someone who understands that, just 327 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,040 Speaker 2: by the sound of my hello, she will pull up. 328 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 2: You know, Pam, you met Pam. She will pull up 329 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,120 Speaker 2: like you don't sound right. I don't care what's going 330 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,560 Speaker 2: on out there. I need to come look at them eyes, 331 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 2: you know. And it's important to have people like that 332 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:38,160 Speaker 2: because it's easy to isolate. It's so easy, and I can. 333 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 2: I isolate. Well, I told you where I live, on 334 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:45,199 Speaker 2: the hilltop, away from everything. But you know what I'm saying. 335 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,960 Speaker 2: So you have to have people to check on you 336 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:51,160 Speaker 2: because sometimes I don't even know that I'm not right 337 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,120 Speaker 2: until she breaks because I'm so used to being. 338 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:55,000 Speaker 1: On you know. 339 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,120 Speaker 2: She was like, you good, and I'm like, yeah, I'm good. 340 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:01,320 Speaker 2: She's like, no, you're not, and then that forces me 341 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,480 Speaker 2: to check, you know what. I'm a little I do 342 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,200 Speaker 2: feel a little off. You know, so it's very important. 343 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:09,760 Speaker 2: I said that to the kids out at Copa University yesterday. 344 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,280 Speaker 2: I was like, y'all check on each other. Don't let 345 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,000 Speaker 2: don't let your friends or your you know, people in 346 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,800 Speaker 2: your circle suffer if they don't sound right, don't look 347 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,359 Speaker 2: like check on them. Pull up. Yeah, you could be 348 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,280 Speaker 2: saving a life. 349 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:25,080 Speaker 1: You know. That's what I miss most about the elders. Yeah, 350 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,320 Speaker 1: it's My grandmother used to say, baby, come by and 351 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:31,120 Speaker 1: let me lay eyes on you. And here's how they 352 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:34,720 Speaker 1: knew that something was going on, because you would stay away. Yep, 353 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:37,240 Speaker 1: because the moment they saw you, you know that they 354 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:40,640 Speaker 1: would see. And we need people that will call us 355 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,199 Speaker 1: and say, let me lay eyes on me and to 356 00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,959 Speaker 1: feel your energy and to feel where your spirit is. 357 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:49,879 Speaker 1: And I see you know, there's the Surgeon General Vivik 358 00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:53,399 Speaker 1: talks a lot about this epidemic of loneliness that we 359 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:57,360 Speaker 1: have and there's so many lonely people. That's such loneliness. 360 00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:59,720 Speaker 1: And we would think that we're more connected because we 361 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,080 Speaker 1: have phones, but as I like to say, I think 362 00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:06,479 Speaker 1: we are overly connected but underly commune because we don't 363 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,919 Speaker 1: have real connections. You know, we don't have real people 364 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:15,679 Speaker 1: that really have this level of sagaciousness desernment to say, 365 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:19,399 Speaker 1: you know what, some is off with you? Yep. And 366 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,359 Speaker 1: when we don't have that, this is why we have 367 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,679 Speaker 1: a lot of people who just feel nobody cares and 368 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:29,720 Speaker 1: I think they're not giving the space for people. How 369 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:34,200 Speaker 1: important am And I want this to really be loud, 370 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:38,760 Speaker 1: for sisters to hear that it's okay to allow yourself 371 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:43,320 Speaker 1: to be truly seen, and men to be seen to say, hey, 372 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,040 Speaker 1: I need somebody to sit with me. 373 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:49,320 Speaker 2: I think we have, especially Black people, we have been 374 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:54,439 Speaker 2: trained and conditioned through our trauma to be strong and 375 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:57,919 Speaker 2: put on this front like I'm good, I'm good. But 376 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:02,320 Speaker 2: I always say the strength is in vulnerability. You know, 377 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:06,520 Speaker 2: when you're able to be vulnerable and speak your truth, 378 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,119 Speaker 2: that's what draws more people in because people are afraid 379 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,399 Speaker 2: to do that. You know a lot of people are 380 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:16,520 Speaker 2: afraid to do that. But you have to because being 381 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:20,600 Speaker 2: strong all the time will break you. We're not buildings 382 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,960 Speaker 2: were we are not here. We're not built like a 383 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,640 Speaker 2: structure like this. We're not supposed to be strong all 384 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,000 Speaker 2: the time. Yeah, there's sometimes when you have to pull 385 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:33,880 Speaker 2: it together, but you can't do that all the time, 386 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:35,840 Speaker 2: and it's humanly impossible. 387 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:40,320 Speaker 1: It is it is all right. I want to ask 388 00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:44,439 Speaker 1: you this. You started the Board's Hitsion Foundation because of 389 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:48,240 Speaker 1: your dad, and who was. 390 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:51,800 Speaker 2: A man who was very strong but was not afraid 391 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:55,200 Speaker 2: to be vulnerable. He would cry, he would talk about 392 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,320 Speaker 2: when he didn't feel right. I mean, he wore his 393 00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:01,560 Speaker 2: heart on his sleeve. He was incredible. I miss him 394 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:01,920 Speaker 2: so much. 395 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,879 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Oh no, no, you're good. No, yeah, And 396 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:08,320 Speaker 1: I'm glad that you share that knowing with what you've done, 397 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:11,400 Speaker 1: and you have pioneered a space in the mental health 398 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:18,600 Speaker 1: ram and you have created opportunities for these conversations. I 399 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,639 Speaker 1: often say it was you and Charlotmagne who really championed 400 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,639 Speaker 1: the space for blacks because no one had never seen 401 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:29,440 Speaker 1: any one of you, guys, caliper be open about your challenges. 402 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:34,359 Speaker 1: What would your dad say today if he could see 403 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:35,200 Speaker 1: the Workers show. 404 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,960 Speaker 2: And not be honest? Because is anybody gonna be offended 405 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,320 Speaker 2: with the N word? He called everybody nigga? You be 406 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:44,000 Speaker 2: like little nigga. I'm proud of you. That's exactly. I 407 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,480 Speaker 2: can hear him in my dream sometimes he comes to 408 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:49,320 Speaker 2: me so vividly in my that's another thing I hadn't 409 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,680 Speaker 2: dreampt about my father and so long, and I stopped drinking, 410 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:56,000 Speaker 2: and I've been having very lucid dreams where I see him, 411 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,840 Speaker 2: I hear him. The last dream I had about him, 412 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:00,720 Speaker 2: he had come to visit. This is the only house 413 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:03,359 Speaker 2: he had never seen passed away before I got this house, 414 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,280 Speaker 2: and he was, Hey, come to visit, and he was 415 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,480 Speaker 2: building hedges around all my windows. He was like, nah, 416 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,840 Speaker 2: because they're building them all down the way. You know, 417 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:14,480 Speaker 2: the little niggas gonna be trying to come up here, 418 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:16,880 Speaker 2: rob you. So I had to participate. That was him 419 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:20,239 Speaker 2: letting me know in spirit he's still protastrophe. Yeah, but 420 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:21,160 Speaker 2: that's what he would say. 421 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:26,160 Speaker 1: Wow, I love it. I love it. Hey, little nigga, 422 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,600 Speaker 1: you doing it? That sound like that sounds like my grandmama. 423 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:38,320 Speaker 1: Well man, that that is so beautiful. This question I 424 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:42,639 Speaker 1: asked all the guests and I asked this question. This 425 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:46,840 Speaker 1: podcast is just here with doctor j. You've been open 426 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,720 Speaker 1: about your healing journey. I've been opened by my healing journey. 427 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:53,960 Speaker 1: And I asked myself this question, and uh, it was 428 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,840 Speaker 1: one that I had to take a deep breath and 429 00:22:56,880 --> 00:23:03,040 Speaker 1: deep side. When you think of healing. What does healing 430 00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:07,400 Speaker 1: means to you? To to lodge? We see? 431 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,840 Speaker 2: Well, I tell you this, It ain't all pretty, you know, 432 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:16,280 Speaker 2: because you're gonna have to open up some scars that hurt, 433 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,920 Speaker 2: and you're gonna have to go to some ugly places. 434 00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:24,439 Speaker 2: But the only way to get through it is to 435 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,200 Speaker 2: get through it. You can't go under it, you can't 436 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,480 Speaker 2: go over you can't avoid it because eventually it's gonna implode. 437 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:34,840 Speaker 2: Eventually it's gonna overtake you. So you have to go 438 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,680 Speaker 2: through the muck to get through to the other side. 439 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:37,960 Speaker 1: You know. 440 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:41,000 Speaker 2: They always say, I know it's cliche. After every storm 441 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,680 Speaker 2: the sun comes out, God go through the storm first, 442 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,680 Speaker 2: you know, But that's how That's how you have to undo, 443 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:51,159 Speaker 2: and undoing sometimes can be very uncomfortable. You have to 444 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:56,040 Speaker 2: have very uncomfortable conversations with yourself, with people you know 445 00:23:56,119 --> 00:24:00,280 Speaker 2: who helped with the trauma. But you know it's it 446 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:03,119 Speaker 2: can be tough, and but you can do it. You know, 447 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,679 Speaker 2: if I could do it, it, Jay can do it. You 448 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:06,720 Speaker 2: can do it because it's in you to do it 449 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,520 Speaker 2: and it's your responsibility. Yes, you know, you can't keep 450 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,960 Speaker 2: blaming everybody, especially at a big grown age. At some 451 00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 2: point you have to take responsibility for your healing. You must, Yes, 452 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:18,960 Speaker 2: you know. 453 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,040 Speaker 1: Do you feel a lot of people are afraid to 454 00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:22,359 Speaker 1: take it? 455 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:22,679 Speaker 3: Oh? 456 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,639 Speaker 2: Absolutely, because they're scared to go through the storm. You know, 457 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:29,040 Speaker 2: they think somehow sweeping things under the carpet is gonna 458 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:29,680 Speaker 2: make it good. 459 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,840 Speaker 1: But you know, and as I said, just because you hot, 460 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:34,920 Speaker 1: it doesn't mean it's not there. 461 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,399 Speaker 2: It's always there. It comes out in ways, you know, 462 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,040 Speaker 2: it comes it manifests itself in how you deal with people. 463 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:42,080 Speaker 1: That part. 464 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,040 Speaker 2: If you're drinking too heavy, you're smoking a little too much, like, 465 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,680 Speaker 2: all of that is escapism. If you're going out eating 466 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,879 Speaker 2: too much sex, I mean, it's it manifests itself in 467 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,280 Speaker 2: all kinds of ways. So you gotta deal with it. 468 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:56,440 Speaker 1: Yes, you gotta deal with it because if you don't 469 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,720 Speaker 1: deal with it, gonna deal with you. It's gonna deal 470 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,119 Speaker 1: with you. 471 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,320 Speaker 2: And deal with you, and it's going to affect your health. 472 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:04,920 Speaker 2: You have a nervous system. 473 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:06,199 Speaker 1: Come on, talk about it. 474 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,119 Speaker 2: And I'm not a scientist. I'm not a doctor to 475 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:11,080 Speaker 2: talk about it, but I am a doctor. But you know, 476 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 2: because I what is it what honorary? 477 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,520 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, you are. 478 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:20,600 Speaker 2: Right, but I'm not that kind. But I do know 479 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,880 Speaker 2: you have a nervous system and your your body listens 480 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,960 Speaker 2: to your brain, you know, and so if you're not 481 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 2: feeding yourself good information, it's going to show up in 482 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:34,640 Speaker 2: your body. You said what I want you look good? 483 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:37,120 Speaker 2: What fountain you're drinking from? I said, the fountain of peace, peace, 484 00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:41,000 Speaker 2: the found piece that I protect my piece at all call. 485 00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:43,400 Speaker 2: If you not on a healing journey, I can't talk 486 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:49,119 Speaker 2: to you. But bye, I can't. I can't do it. 487 00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:52,040 Speaker 1: I can't do it because it costs too much. 488 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,719 Speaker 2: It cost me my peace, and I'm not willing to 489 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:57,879 Speaker 2: give that up. I finally got here. You understand what 490 00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:02,359 Speaker 2: I'm saying. Yes, you better exhale. I finally got here, 491 00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,639 Speaker 2: not hard and how long and how much stuff I 492 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,160 Speaker 2: had to go do to get here, Like, I finally 493 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:10,399 Speaker 2: got here, and I'm just not gonna let anybody disturb 494 00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:11,240 Speaker 2: me from my peace. 495 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:15,040 Speaker 1: Yeah. See when I tell you, I love that for 496 00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:20,320 Speaker 1: you and to see your journey. And that's really what 497 00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:24,080 Speaker 1: I was telling CJ. I said, Man, I really want 498 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:27,520 Speaker 1: us all to get to a place where we're just 499 00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:32,480 Speaker 1: not stuck on survival. Yeah, and we're not stuck on, 500 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,800 Speaker 1: you know, just trying to figure it out each time 501 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:38,960 Speaker 1: and just like allowing ourselves to have this level of 502 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:42,840 Speaker 1: peace where we know what it's like to just breath. 503 00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, And it's gonna take us to heal us, 504 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,760 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Nobody's gonna come and save us. Yeah, 505 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:52,840 Speaker 2: you know. And I think what we're doing, the work 506 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:56,160 Speaker 2: that we're doing, is so important because we're allowing people 507 00:26:56,720 --> 00:27:01,240 Speaker 2: to the freedom to feel the fear and to talk 508 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,480 Speaker 2: about it in the open, because once upon a time, 509 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:05,480 Speaker 2: this wasn't talked about like that. 510 00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:06,960 Speaker 1: No, it wasn't. You know. 511 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:10,040 Speaker 2: Everybody's pretending to be strong and like they have it together, 512 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:15,320 Speaker 2: especially celebrities or people in the limelight, because people on 513 00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:17,960 Speaker 2: the outside look in and think, oh, they have everything. 514 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,560 Speaker 2: Let me tell you something like the Great Guru Biggie 515 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:25,919 Speaker 2: Small said, more money, more problems, because money does not 516 00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:31,120 Speaker 2: do the rich people, the filthy rids. They're the most unhealed, 517 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:35,960 Speaker 2: unhealthy folk walking the universe because money can't fix it. 518 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:39,639 Speaker 1: It can't. Bishop Jakes told me this is recently. He said, 519 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,119 Speaker 1: I was telling him about the podcast and he was 520 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:46,199 Speaker 1: excited and everything I'm doing, and he looked at me 521 00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:49,560 Speaker 1: and he said, you don't realize how much we needed. 522 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:53,600 Speaker 1: He said, I don't know that. He said, you know 523 00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,280 Speaker 1: what type of people I'm connected to? Jay, He said, 524 00:27:56,320 --> 00:28:01,120 Speaker 1: I don't know anybody that's at peace right now. Listen, 525 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,360 Speaker 1: And I mean he was in this in his fashion. 526 00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:09,080 Speaker 1: I don't know anybody that's at peace. You gotta do this, 527 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:13,320 Speaker 1: And I'm like vicious because he said, think about celebrities 528 00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:16,040 Speaker 1: and the entertainers and all these high level especially for 529 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:19,560 Speaker 1: black people who are under this umbrella of black excellence 530 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,840 Speaker 1: that I think oftentimes is really blanket in black anxiety. 531 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:27,160 Speaker 2: Mm ooh or chill? Would not my son say that. 532 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:33,240 Speaker 1: Because there's this pressure to keep performing. Yeah, And he said, 533 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:37,040 Speaker 1: I don't know anybody that's at peace right now. So 534 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,880 Speaker 1: to hear you come in and say, I'm drinking for 535 00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:41,680 Speaker 1: from the fountain of peace. 536 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:45,880 Speaker 2: Baby, Listen, I'm not even dating right now. Somebody's like, 537 00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:48,800 Speaker 2: you're not dating. No, I'm not dealing with nobody's unhealed. Son. 538 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:50,320 Speaker 2: Can I get an amen? 539 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:56,760 Speaker 3: Hallelu hallelou because I'm telling you I've had my house renovated, 540 00:28:56,880 --> 00:29:00,520 Speaker 3: right and I found this incredible black full out of 541 00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:05,400 Speaker 3: the South to come in to design the interior and 542 00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:06,520 Speaker 3: they are incredible. 543 00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,680 Speaker 2: But I told them in the beginning, I said, I 544 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:10,800 Speaker 2: wanted to look like a straight girl house when you 545 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,520 Speaker 2: come in here. If I start dating, I don't want 546 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:15,520 Speaker 2: no dude to feel like, oh yeah, I can know 547 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:17,800 Speaker 2: you can't move up in here. In fact, guess what, 548 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 2: I don't even have a drawer for your stuff. I 549 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:23,280 Speaker 2: don't have a drawer because my stuff is in all 550 00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,680 Speaker 2: the drawers. So pack your bag when you come, and 551 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:29,520 Speaker 2: pack it up when you go. And you know, I'm 552 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,160 Speaker 2: even thinking about like the marriage thing, like, I don't 553 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:35,120 Speaker 2: even know if I need the stresses of that in 554 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:38,479 Speaker 2: my life. A lot of lifetime partner for sure, but 555 00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,640 Speaker 2: at this big old age, I'm not having kids. You 556 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:45,360 Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, I want a partner. I don't 557 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:49,000 Speaker 2: know if I want the papers to go. I don't 558 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:51,240 Speaker 2: know if I want that. No, I'm not saying I 559 00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:53,240 Speaker 2: don't want a man. I need to be very clear 560 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:53,600 Speaker 2: with you. 561 00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:58,960 Speaker 1: But that's real, though, Tie, That's real because at this 562 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:04,280 Speaker 1: season and at this juncture, the work you've done, and 563 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:07,280 Speaker 1: I often tell people the work that you've done, you 564 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:10,400 Speaker 1: would have to undo this to deal with somebody who 565 00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:14,040 Speaker 1: hasn't done work, who's afraid to do work, and then 566 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:16,080 Speaker 1: who's not really committed to. 567 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,680 Speaker 2: The work, And I'm not willing to do that. 568 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,320 Speaker 1: They'll start going to therapy just because you talked about it, 569 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:22,400 Speaker 1: but you're not really committed. Because if you know, you're 570 00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:24,040 Speaker 1: really going to therapy because I brought it up, but 571 00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:28,120 Speaker 1: you're not really interested in growing and evolving. And if 572 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:34,280 Speaker 1: you're not with somebody that is committed to their own journey, yeah. 573 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:36,520 Speaker 2: Then I can't help you because I'm not willing to 574 00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:39,320 Speaker 2: give up my piece. I fought too hard to get here. 575 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:43,360 Speaker 2: I'm just not willing I even do this. Like you know, 576 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:45,840 Speaker 2: there's certain things that I will go to in the 577 00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:48,720 Speaker 2: industry and certain things that I want. The first question 578 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,080 Speaker 2: I ask is is this going to cost me any 579 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:54,120 Speaker 2: parts of my piece? Because if it is, I don't 580 00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:59,200 Speaker 2: have to go. I don't have to go. I don't care. 581 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,360 Speaker 1: It's funny you say that because I started telling my 582 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:05,640 Speaker 1: manager that I said to leave my house. Now you 583 00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:08,920 Speaker 1: got to pay me to leave my peace because my 584 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:14,480 Speaker 1: home I've created such serene. Just it's it's I'm living 585 00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:19,360 Speaker 1: my place overlooked the water. It's just if I leave, man, 586 00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:22,040 Speaker 1: and it's not even about the bag anymore. 587 00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:24,360 Speaker 2: I was about to say that because it could be 588 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,880 Speaker 2: a bag, and I'd be like that sounds like chaos. 589 00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:30,160 Speaker 2: Give it to somebody else. I've turned down jobs as 590 00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:30,960 Speaker 2: there's directors. 591 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:31,400 Speaker 1: I just. 592 00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,720 Speaker 2: Energy is transferable, and so what I do as an 593 00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,240 Speaker 2: artist like I have to open up chakras. I let 594 00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:41,040 Speaker 2: these characters come inside my body and use my body 595 00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:43,200 Speaker 2: as a vessel to tell their story. That's a very 596 00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:45,800 Speaker 2: vulnerable place to be. So if I don't feel like 597 00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,880 Speaker 2: I'm protected, if I don't feel like I'm going to 598 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:53,000 Speaker 2: be protecting an environment that is nurturing to the process, 599 00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:57,640 Speaker 2: I will turn it down. No, that's right, because I can't. 600 00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,680 Speaker 2: I can't sacrifice myself like that. 601 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:06,960 Speaker 1: For y'all, especially for these up and coming artists who 602 00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:09,960 Speaker 1: feel like they have to listen. If I haven't learned 603 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:14,320 Speaker 1: anything else on my journey from you, from Tracy, from 604 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:17,000 Speaker 1: all of the people that mentored me. They always say, man, 605 00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:21,000 Speaker 1: be very particular about what you say yes to. 606 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,560 Speaker 2: Everything, ain't about a dollar, Like, be careful what you 607 00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:29,200 Speaker 2: ask for. You'd be very specific, be very clear on 608 00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:33,000 Speaker 2: what you're asking for. Like these kids, they see the limelight, 609 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:36,840 Speaker 2: they see they don't realize we're still real people going 610 00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:40,000 Speaker 2: through real stuff. Like it's not just you become an 611 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,120 Speaker 2: actor and all of a sudden life is pristine and 612 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:45,320 Speaker 2: it's no you go, you put on the show, and 613 00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:48,920 Speaker 2: then you still go back home to the mess you left. 614 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:53,000 Speaker 2: That's you know. I think it's harder for what we 615 00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:56,400 Speaker 2: do because we have to show up and pretend like everything. 616 00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:59,360 Speaker 2: So there have been times when I was going through 617 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:04,320 Speaker 2: hell in scenes that you've seen me in movies, my 618 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:08,400 Speaker 2: life was in shambles, but I had to pretend like 619 00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:10,920 Speaker 2: everything was okay. That is the hardest thing to do, 620 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,720 Speaker 2: and it is it is. It strips your soul. I 621 00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:18,560 Speaker 2: can't explain it. You just there were times where I 622 00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:25,640 Speaker 2: just felt so empty and lost, you know, because because 623 00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:28,320 Speaker 2: there was no safe landing for me, it was always 624 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:30,480 Speaker 2: show up. You gotta be on, You gotta show the 625 00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:33,320 Speaker 2: people everything's okay, and it's like, but I'm not. I'm 626 00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:33,960 Speaker 2: not okay. 627 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,360 Speaker 1: You know, as you're talking, one of the characters that 628 00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:40,880 Speaker 1: stand out to me when you were was talking about 629 00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,880 Speaker 1: just being at a place where it's like your life 630 00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:47,000 Speaker 1: is in shamble. The other that I was watching hustling Flow, Oh, 631 00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:54,560 Speaker 1: and that character I mean, was just I mean, you 632 00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,600 Speaker 1: can you can see this pushing, this pull, but you 633 00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:01,239 Speaker 1: can see this love, you can see this care, but 634 00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:05,680 Speaker 1: you can also see the vulnerability because she was at 635 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:07,880 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, you know his you know, 636 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:12,680 Speaker 1: at the mercy of him of DJ. Was that like 637 00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:16,120 Speaker 1: and it's just a little bit about that. How was that? 638 00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:22,080 Speaker 1: Because I'm sure there's this war between the character and 639 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,319 Speaker 1: the reality, you know what I mean? 640 00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:28,040 Speaker 2: Well, for me, when I first got the script, I 641 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:30,480 Speaker 2: remember John Sinkings and May recipes I miss you so much. 642 00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:33,399 Speaker 2: He was like, I need your eyes. He always told 643 00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:35,120 Speaker 2: me about my eyes. He was like, you don't have 644 00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:36,919 Speaker 2: to do much. You just have to think it and 645 00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:39,640 Speaker 2: the camera's gonna do the rest. Because I came from theaters, 646 00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:44,520 Speaker 2: I was very big, but I and I'm glad he 647 00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:47,359 Speaker 2: said it like that. And he was like, you picked 648 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,480 Speaker 2: the character you want to play. And of course Lexus, 649 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,960 Speaker 2: the loud mouth with the blind hair, that character. Of 650 00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,600 Speaker 2: course she jumped off the page because she was loud 651 00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:58,480 Speaker 2: about it. But when he said I need your eyes 652 00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:02,640 Speaker 2: is very specific, and that's when I leaned into Shug 653 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:06,040 Speaker 2: because she was the quiet mouse. And then I started 654 00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:10,760 Speaker 2: thinking about the women who choose, because I don't think 655 00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:14,640 Speaker 2: people some women are forced into sex working and some 656 00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:19,400 Speaker 2: choose to do that, you know. But I started thinking 657 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:23,000 Speaker 2: about her, and I was thinking about this one in particular, 658 00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:26,479 Speaker 2: and I was thinking about ooh who didn't love her? 659 00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:33,560 Speaker 2: Because she just seemed like someone who did not feel seen. Yes, yes, right, yeah, 660 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:35,840 Speaker 2: And that's how I played it. I played the y 661 00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:40,560 Speaker 2: and so for her to turn tricks, it was her 662 00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:44,400 Speaker 2: way of giving love because no one loved her. And 663 00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:46,319 Speaker 2: so that's what you saw in her. And I was like, 664 00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:49,200 Speaker 2: I want people to want to reach through this screen 665 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:51,920 Speaker 2: and hug her. Yes, I said, I want people to 666 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:54,359 Speaker 2: see this diamond in the rough, because that's where all 667 00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:57,160 Speaker 2: people who aren't seen. They are diamonds. We're all diamonds. 668 00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:57,360 Speaker 1: You know. 669 00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:00,200 Speaker 2: It takes pressure to make a diamond, right, But if 670 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,440 Speaker 2: you're not saying and no one takes kid, find the 671 00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:05,640 Speaker 2: diamond and dust it off, and you know, then it'll 672 00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:08,759 Speaker 2: just be a dirty rock, right. And so that's how 673 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:10,920 Speaker 2: I played her. I played the why, and that's why. 674 00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:13,600 Speaker 2: That's how you gain the empathy of an audience, even 675 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:16,359 Speaker 2: with the worst character in the world, a villain. If 676 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,880 Speaker 2: you play the why, then the audience will feel for 677 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:22,200 Speaker 2: even the villain. Yes, you know, but there's always a 678 00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:24,880 Speaker 2: why a person is the way they are, you know. 679 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:27,040 Speaker 2: But I just knew that she had been through a 680 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:32,800 Speaker 2: lot of mistreatment and abuse probably and just thrown away 681 00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:35,440 Speaker 2: and tossed the side and treated like property. 682 00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:36,440 Speaker 1: You know. 683 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:40,040 Speaker 2: That's why that moment in the studio when she hears 684 00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:42,200 Speaker 2: her voice for the first time is like. 685 00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:45,160 Speaker 1: Look, oh man, that when I tell you that part 686 00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:48,719 Speaker 1: broke me. Because I'm thinking from a healing perspective, is 687 00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,920 Speaker 1: that most people just want to know that their voice matters. 688 00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:57,040 Speaker 2: Right, Because the director was very smart, Craig Brewer, I 689 00:36:57,080 --> 00:37:00,360 Speaker 2: love you, but the director was very smart because I 690 00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:03,520 Speaker 2: remember I did this and he ran in and whispered 691 00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:05,399 Speaker 2: in mind. He said, put your hand on your mouth, 692 00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:09,279 Speaker 2: and I did that, and it was almost like that 693 00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:12,160 Speaker 2: came out of my mouth, like so he was tracking 694 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:16,520 Speaker 2: what I was thinking. You know, that was a very 695 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:19,719 Speaker 2: special project for me, and I got paid nothing for it, 696 00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:24,320 Speaker 2: but those independent films you do it for other reasons. 697 00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:26,040 Speaker 2: You know. It was the story for me. 698 00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:28,160 Speaker 1: But all of that, and as you talk, all of 699 00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:30,680 Speaker 1: that just just really stood out for me because it 700 00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:32,720 Speaker 1: was the first time that I ever watched the film 701 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:39,799 Speaker 1: from a clinical or from a psychoanalytical perspective, and I 702 00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,319 Speaker 1: was looking at the characters because sometime I do that 703 00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:45,840 Speaker 1: because it really helps me to really connect with people, 704 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:49,840 Speaker 1: even in speaking, because most people, if you have not 705 00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:52,439 Speaker 1: been seen, if you have not been heard, you don't 706 00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:57,680 Speaker 1: feel valuable. And in that moment, Shug felt like, Hey, 707 00:37:58,160 --> 00:37:59,360 Speaker 1: I'm somebody. 708 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,520 Speaker 2: I could be somebody, I could do something, I could 709 00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:04,440 Speaker 2: do more than what I'm doing, Like you saw her 710 00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:04,960 Speaker 2: come alive. 711 00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:07,480 Speaker 1: That's what you have done for so many people in 712 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:08,440 Speaker 1: the mental health space. 713 00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:10,000 Speaker 2: Thank you. I hope so. 714 00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:13,080 Speaker 1: No, there's no hope. You you have done that. You 715 00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:17,400 Speaker 1: have helped so many people heal, and especially during the 716 00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:21,560 Speaker 1: time of the pandemic where people needed somebody to talk to. 717 00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:26,120 Speaker 1: I believe people wasn't just looking for therapy. People just 718 00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:30,719 Speaker 1: was looking for space where they can share unapologetically and 719 00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:37,480 Speaker 1: just to really have have an environment where it's like, man, 720 00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:41,200 Speaker 1: I don't have to be whatever roles or titles that 721 00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:44,040 Speaker 1: I've and I just want to say thank you for 722 00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:46,960 Speaker 1: taking out the time to come on this podcast. 723 00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:48,280 Speaker 2: Just you knew I was coming. 724 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:53,520 Speaker 1: Listen, listen, I know, I love you, I love I 725 00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:56,640 Speaker 1: made your love you and Tracy, y'all. It has been 726 00:38:56,680 --> 00:39:00,879 Speaker 1: so amazing. And it was y'all because when when Will 727 00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:04,960 Speaker 1: reached out about the podcast, and I'm telling you, I 728 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:06,759 Speaker 1: was just like, man, I don't know if I want 729 00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:08,560 Speaker 1: to do it. I didn't know if it would be 730 00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:09,480 Speaker 1: a space because. 731 00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:10,520 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I was going to make you 732 00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:12,319 Speaker 2: do it. Because he came to my trailer where we 733 00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,080 Speaker 2: were on fight night. He was like, do you know 734 00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:16,520 Speaker 2: any men who are in the mental health But I said, 735 00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:19,520 Speaker 2: I sure do right now, and I sent them your page. 736 00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:21,359 Speaker 2: I said, this is the guy you want. I said, 737 00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,279 Speaker 2: he already has an audience, the men already trust him. 738 00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,120 Speaker 2: You know nothing, it's not new new. I said, that's 739 00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:29,600 Speaker 2: who you want. Tap him right away. Well I didn't 740 00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:32,240 Speaker 2: even pause when he asked. 741 00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:34,640 Speaker 1: And I appreciate it, and I just want to say 742 00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:37,719 Speaker 1: thank you and keep being a light that you are 743 00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:43,759 Speaker 1: to the world because in this climate we need it. 744 00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:48,399 Speaker 1: And I like to acknowledge not what you do, which 745 00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:51,719 Speaker 1: is who you are, because acting is just that that's 746 00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:54,200 Speaker 1: a gift, but who you are as a person, because 747 00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,080 Speaker 1: you have to have a real heart to care about 748 00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:59,440 Speaker 1: more than just yourself and what you've done with the 749 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:02,759 Speaker 1: foundation and even what you continue to do, you care 750 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:05,960 Speaker 1: about more than just yourself. And I know your father 751 00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:09,279 Speaker 1: is proud to do this in the honor of him, 752 00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:13,279 Speaker 1: and then just for us as a people who need 753 00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:17,279 Speaker 1: so much healing. But you have blazer trail for us 754 00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,920 Speaker 1: to do it and to continue to doing it because again, 755 00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:21,839 Speaker 1: it was a black woman and it would be you 756 00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:24,480 Speaker 1: go down in history to Roger started his movement. So 757 00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:27,080 Speaker 1: I just want to say thank you for starting the 758 00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:29,520 Speaker 1: movement and allow me to be a part of it. 759 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:34,240 Speaker 1: So yeah, absolutely so again to all of my healers, listen, 760 00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:38,720 Speaker 1: please subscribe. You can watch Just Heal Doctor J on 761 00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:41,480 Speaker 1: my YouTube channel Just Heal Doctor J. Or you can 762 00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:45,439 Speaker 1: listen audibly on The Black Effect and iHeart Just Heal 763 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:49,120 Speaker 1: with Doctor J. And until next time, remember healing is 764 00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:53,080 Speaker 1: a journey and wholeness is the destination. Just Heal with 765 00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:56,840 Speaker 1: Doctor J a production of The Black Effect podcast Network. 766 00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:00,719 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeart Radio app, 767 00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:03,800 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. 768 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,759 Speaker 1: And you can follow me at King J. Barnett on 769 00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:10,919 Speaker 1: Instagram and x and follow us on YouTube. Just here 770 00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:11,680 Speaker 1: Doctor J.