WEBVTT - Ep 221 - Are you REALLY an Ally? 0:00:16.079 --> 0:00:22.920 Hey, hey, hey, we're black, We're brown. Wait, we're back, 0:00:23.280 --> 0:00:29.120 we're black, We're brown ambition, hey, Mandra. 0:00:29.080 --> 0:00:34.280 And all black and brown lives matter. Yes, I've loved 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:36.400 the little tweak that people are making to that hashtag. 0:00:36.440 --> 0:00:39.400 Now all black lives matter. Yes, it's one of the 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:44.040 highlights of the week. I am you know what I 0:00:44.080 --> 0:00:47.599 have tapped into my college freshman self. I feel like 0:00:47.720 --> 0:00:51.000 a bright, ad, bushy tailed eighteen year old Mandy Lee 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:54.080 out of the house, let loose on a campus an 0:00:54.120 --> 0:00:56.840 hour and a half away, and so excited to sign 0:00:56.920 --> 0:00:59.240 up for all the career fair, you know, not career fair, 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:01.760 all the activity at the activities fair, you know when 0:01:01.760 --> 0:01:05.200 you're a freshman. But I don't have the stamina that 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:07.120 I quite did, so I think I've signed up for 0:01:07.160 --> 0:01:08.959 a few too many things the past week, and I 0:01:09.000 --> 0:01:12.440 am tired. But it's a good kind of tired feel. 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:14.959 I know that there are so many people and you 0:01:15.000 --> 0:01:19.240 have every right to be exhausted and just drained and sad, 0:01:19.400 --> 0:01:22.640 and I know that there are plenty of you. I mean, listen, 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:25.320 I'm from Atlanta and my heart is bleeding for that city. 0:01:25.560 --> 0:01:28.039 My family is there, my brother was out there in 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:32.199 the streets protesting yet another killing, this time a young 0:01:32.200 --> 0:01:37.440 man named ray Shard Brooks, who just you know, you 0:01:37.440 --> 0:01:39.680 guys have probably seen the video. Don't have to get 0:01:39.680 --> 0:01:41.880 into it, but there's a lot of heaviness out there. 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:46.360 What I will say is, I've chosen I've chosen to 0:01:47.160 --> 0:01:49.920 This is gonna sound kind of like crappy, but I 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:53.280 feel like we have to take advantage of people's guilt, y'all. 0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:56.600 And you know what people I'm talking about. And people 0:01:56.600 --> 0:02:00.760 are feeling real sorry because they have been to face 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:03.440 theirselves in the mirror for the first time and face 0:02:03.520 --> 0:02:07.400 their own their own what do you call it, their 0:02:07.440 --> 0:02:11.280 own complicity in allowing these types of things to continue. 0:02:11.840 --> 0:02:15.280 And people are acknowledging, oh shit, I could have done 0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:18.440 something all this time and I never? Why did I never? 0:02:18.800 --> 0:02:21.040 What do I think this is? Did I think this 0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:23.280 was okay all this time? And they're really people. And 0:02:23.480 --> 0:02:26.520 I'm talking not just about people like in my family, 0:02:27.360 --> 0:02:30.680 but but companies too. A lot of businesses out there 0:02:30.720 --> 0:02:33.640 are trying to talk to their employees, talk to the public, 0:02:33.800 --> 0:02:37.320 and rise to this occasion. And for me, for me, 0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:39.640 it feels like a call to action. I really have 0:02:39.720 --> 0:02:42.320 felt this calling. I know I joked about it, but 0:02:43.040 --> 0:02:45.799 I feel like, if you're out there and you want 0:02:45.800 --> 0:02:49.920 to be an ally, I'm not quite I I we 0:02:50.000 --> 0:02:52.480 all have every reason to be cynical about the people 0:02:52.480 --> 0:02:54.480 who are stepping up now, reaching out of hand to 0:02:54.520 --> 0:02:58.200 lift us up. Why weren't you here, you know, hundreds 0:02:58.200 --> 0:03:01.160 of bodies ago, Why weren't you here deck ago? They're 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:04.520 here now. And I personally have chosen to go with hope, 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:06.800 and I've chosen to go with optimism. I've chosen to 0:03:06.840 --> 0:03:09.160 reach out, grab their hand, but pull them where I 0:03:09.200 --> 0:03:11.520 want them to go, and lead them the direction that 0:03:11.560 --> 0:03:13.960 I want to go. And I and I think if 0:03:14.040 --> 0:03:16.720 if you're not tired enough, or you're not tired and 0:03:16.720 --> 0:03:19.639 you're not exhausted, I encourage you to look at this 0:03:19.840 --> 0:03:22.880 as an opportunity. This is the moment finally people are listening. 0:03:23.200 --> 0:03:26.360 So what can we ask for? What can we what 0:03:26.400 --> 0:03:30.640 can we do to lift black Americans up at this time? 0:03:31.760 --> 0:03:35.480 And that is Yeah, that's how I'm doing. But it's 0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:38.800 been a it's been a hell of a week. But 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:40.640 it feels good. It's like it's like when you work out, 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:44.640 which you know I don't do anymore, but you're good. Yeah, 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:46.680 I just you know, what about you? What's happened in 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:47.600 the budget needs to land. 0:03:48.920 --> 0:03:50.640 I don't know. I just feel like I think opening 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:52.280 up talking about like what does it look like to 0:03:52.320 --> 0:03:57.000 be allies? Just a great opening because I did this 0:03:57.000 --> 0:04:00.800 this movement called Share the Mic. Now, some of y'all 0:04:00.880 --> 0:04:03.680 might have sinked it. It was awesome. It was put 0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:08.200 together by Lovey, my friend Lovey, my friend Bozima, and 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:13.720 Stacey Bennett. I think of alex Olivia and oh it 0:04:13.800 --> 0:04:16.799 was another woman's name. I'm sorry, I'm forgetting her name. Basically, 0:04:16.839 --> 0:04:20.000 two white women, two black women decided, let's get together 0:04:20.440 --> 0:04:22.960 and do something to amplify the voices of black women. 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:25.880 And so what they did was they found fifty black 0:04:25.920 --> 0:04:29.240 women and fifty white women, and the white women had 0:04:29.279 --> 0:04:32.520 like a collective audience size of like something insane, like 0:04:32.960 --> 0:04:35.400 two hundred and eighty million or something like that. And 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:40.359 so they had everyone from Allen to Courtney Kardashian to 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:48.320 Julia Roberts to just like just every type of woman, 0:04:48.680 --> 0:04:53.560 to Hillary Clinton to Chelsea Handler, I mean some of 0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:56.400 the largest names that you know out there, and they 0:04:57.240 --> 0:05:01.320 gave their platform for the day. There Instagram platform to 0:05:01.680 --> 0:05:03.320 a black women that they were paired with. I was 0:05:03.360 --> 0:05:09.800 paired with soccer superstar Ashlyn Harris. She's totally badass and 0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:13.120 she uh she was in the She won the Feet 0:05:13.120 --> 0:05:15.120 for World Cup with her and her team last year, 0:05:15.120 --> 0:05:18.080 and then I think in twenty fifteen, she and her 0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:21.320 and her wife live in Florida. She played soccer for 0:05:21.360 --> 0:05:24.720 the Orlando Pride. Honestly, she's just dope all around. So 0:05:24.760 --> 0:05:28.000 we got on the phone ahead of time and she 0:05:28.160 --> 0:05:30.400 was like, honestly, Tiffany, do whatever you need to do. 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:32.640 Like I was like, well, how's your audience gonna take it? 0:05:32.720 --> 0:05:34.640 She's like, no, there used to be standing up. I 0:05:34.680 --> 0:05:38.560 stand up for LGBTQ whites all the time, and I 0:05:38.600 --> 0:05:42.359 stand up for black lives matter as well. So I 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:44.920 was a little nervous. So I started off like, yeah, 0:05:45.000 --> 0:05:46.320 you guys. 0:05:45.960 --> 0:05:48.920 Don't interrupt you. But to interrupt you, I watched and 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:52.560 it was I wondered because you posted on her account 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:54.640 thereout the day, and I wondered how you picked because 0:05:54.640 --> 0:05:57.120 this was a big opportunity for you. Yes, I and 0:05:57.240 --> 0:05:59.720 you were so articulate. I know you had some technical difficulties, 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:01.880 but on the other end, coming in and watching it 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:04.800 after you. It didn't don't worry because I thought it 0:06:04.839 --> 0:06:07.400 was great. It was still fantastic, But I did wonder, 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:09.440 how did you pick and choose the stories you shared 0:06:09.440 --> 0:06:12.320 with that audience, because you know, it was it was 0:06:12.360 --> 0:06:15.000 a moment to rise to the occasion. 0:06:15.600 --> 0:06:17.880 So beforehand, Ashley and I spoke on the phone the 0:06:17.960 --> 0:06:21.320 day before and she, you know, I just told her, 0:06:21.360 --> 0:06:22.960 what do you think is going to be most impactful? 0:06:23.000 --> 0:06:25.320 And she was like, honestly, storytelling, And I said, I agree, 0:06:25.360 --> 0:06:27.440 that's my natural nature anyway, but I wanted to see 0:06:27.440 --> 0:06:29.800 with her audience because who would know best. And so 0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:33.000 once we just decided that, like you know, storytelling is 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:35.960 going to be super impactful, I really sat with myself 0:06:35.960 --> 0:06:37.599 and I said, what is it that I want people 0:06:37.640 --> 0:06:40.080 to take away from this? Folks that the point of 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:43.520 taking over an Instagram account of a white woman, it's 0:06:43.600 --> 0:06:46.600 because her audience is likely not to know me, and 0:06:46.680 --> 0:06:48.360 so I get to be in front of an audience 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:50.520 so they can hear me and see me. Because you 0:06:50.560 --> 0:06:53.960 love this particular woman, you follow her. And so I 0:06:54.000 --> 0:06:57.440 decided I wanted to open up with just some facts 0:06:58.080 --> 0:07:00.480 that was like my well, my first everybody's first had 0:07:00.480 --> 0:07:02.800 to be about themselves, like, you know, allow me to 0:07:02.839 --> 0:07:06.240 reintroduce myself. My name is be right. So that's what 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:08.960 I did my first post. My second post, I really 0:07:09.000 --> 0:07:13.960 wanted to share some facts, but easily digestible facts about 0:07:14.080 --> 0:07:19.920 how on every aspect of life, race plays a role 0:07:20.880 --> 0:07:26.720 in a way that negatively impacts African Americans. So whether 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:29.840 it's employment, whether it's health, whether it's even a student, 0:07:30.320 --> 0:07:34.200 like black children are three times more likely to be suspended, 0:07:34.280 --> 0:07:38.520 you know, even healthcare that doctor sixty seven percent of 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:40.840 doctors said they have a bias against African American patients. 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:44.560 That's crazy, sixty seven percent. So I just wanted to 0:07:44.600 --> 0:07:48.080 share like those, like something that people can visually see, 0:07:48.160 --> 0:07:50.960 and so I shared that first, and then I thought, Okay, 0:07:51.240 --> 0:07:54.120 how do I get people to see that racism is 0:07:54.160 --> 0:07:56.840 not just the dead black bodies you see on social media, 0:07:57.080 --> 0:07:59.640 It's the systematic thing. And so the second post I 0:07:59.640 --> 0:08:03.040 did was myself when I was when I experienced my 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:06.440 first overt experience with racism when I was nine and 0:08:06.480 --> 0:08:08.560 I was followed in the store and basically the lady 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:10.400 told me to get out because I was black nine 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:13.800 like knock need like I had like a Jerry Crow afro, 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:19.200 not intimidating, you know, like just nine years old. And 0:08:19.240 --> 0:08:20.840 I ran home to tell my mother and she told 0:08:20.840 --> 0:08:22.200 me that she too had been put out of that 0:08:22.240 --> 0:08:25.560 store in Westfield, New Jersey, shout out to barons, Hey bitch. 0:08:27.080 --> 0:08:30.720 So so that was the second that's the opposite of 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:32.680 a shout out, you know. 0:08:33.960 --> 0:08:36.680 And then from there I was like, Okay, now I 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:38.560 have to take over. I think the third post I 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:41.000 did was just like, hey, I'm going to go live tonight. 0:08:41.040 --> 0:08:43.080 So when I went live and sharing the stories, I 0:08:43.120 --> 0:08:45.840 really wanted to illustrate that racism wasn't just this like 0:08:45.920 --> 0:08:48.560 getting punched in the face getting that it was these 0:08:48.640 --> 0:08:57.200 like the seemingly innoculous innoculo, innoculous, inoculus, innoculus anoculous. Oh 0:08:57.200 --> 0:09:01.800 my goodness, I swear no words. 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:02.400 Through Well, you used to probably go to Manhattan through 0:09:02.400 --> 0:09:06.120 the oculus, which I don't even know what it is, 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:09.800 the shopping mall, the Freedom Power Area, Okay, go ahead. 0:09:10.480 --> 0:09:13.160 So they don't seem so big, but they add up. 0:09:13.400 --> 0:09:15.560 So I shared stories like from what I was really young, 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:17.400 because I wanted them to be bite sized. I shared 0:09:17.440 --> 0:09:19.599 stories from when my sister was in second grade and 0:09:19.720 --> 0:09:22.840 someone rode on a wall in the bathroom. My baby sister, Lisa, 0:09:22.920 --> 0:09:24.839 and we lived in Westfield, where I grew up a 0:09:25.480 --> 0:09:28.280 Lajoriti white town. So some kids said that with Lisa 0:09:28.360 --> 0:09:30.439 it was not But that wasn't the hard part. The 0:09:30.480 --> 0:09:33.640 hard part was they brought her into them principal's office, 0:09:33.720 --> 0:09:35.800 and they basically threatened her and said they were going 0:09:35.840 --> 0:09:39.360 to call the police on a second grader. Meanwhile, did 0:09:39.440 --> 0:09:42.600 never call my parents? She's hysterical crying. They're like, you did, 0:09:42.640 --> 0:09:44.760 do it? Send her back to class. She comes home 0:09:44.840 --> 0:09:47.720 later on that day crying and telling my mom what happened. 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:50.120 I mean my mother the way she flew down to 0:09:50.120 --> 0:09:52.360 the school the next day. She let them know, I'm 0:09:52.400 --> 0:09:56.800 going to call every new station, every magazine, every every 0:09:56.960 --> 0:10:00.760 outlet possible and tear this place up. But that is 0:10:00.840 --> 0:10:04.080 so I wanted to show that, like second graders getting 0:10:04.080 --> 0:10:06.320 the police called on them because someone said you've run 0:10:06.360 --> 0:10:07.960 in the bathroom or all. That's what it is to 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:11.120 be black, you know, in this country. And I moved 0:10:11.200 --> 0:10:13.200 up to when I was in college and how we 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:14.679 were talking to my friends and I were talking to 0:10:14.720 --> 0:10:17.720 some boys outside we were all teenagers, maybe like nineteen 0:10:17.760 --> 0:10:20.360 at most, and how the police pulled up and the 0:10:20.360 --> 0:10:22.960 boys lived in the city in New Brunswick, it's a 0:10:23.040 --> 0:10:26.320 very college town, and the police pulled up and we 0:10:26.320 --> 0:10:28.000 were just talking. I didn't think anything of it until 0:10:28.000 --> 0:10:30.960 the boys got up and spread their legs and their 0:10:31.080 --> 0:10:34.600 arms and leaned against the gate as if this was 0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:37.480 just what happens every day, because it did that every day. 0:10:37.760 --> 0:10:39.680 A couple times a day, the police pull up and 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:44.000 they're expected to be inspected like modern day slaves. And 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:46.520 I was like, this was like, I mean, I'm forty, 0:10:46.559 --> 0:10:49.520 this was twenty years ago, you know. And then now 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:54.160 when getting my house appraised, because it was always my 0:10:54.200 --> 0:10:56.320 intention to have my white friend pretend to be me, 0:10:56.679 --> 0:11:01.000 because I know that homes of black folks are are 0:11:01.040 --> 0:11:03.920 not a praise as high and sometimes discounted to up 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:07.320 to twenty three to twenty five percent. And sure enough, 0:11:07.480 --> 0:11:10.280 you know, I had a realter come in before, and 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:13.319 sure enough we came in. She told me at least 0:11:13.400 --> 0:11:16.120 four hundred thousand, but likely up to four twenty five, 0:11:16.240 --> 0:11:19.080 and we got three ninety. And I was like, and 0:11:19.280 --> 0:11:21.840 I couldn't have my white friend Catherine pretend to be 0:11:21.840 --> 0:11:24.320 me because it was quarantine. So I was just like, 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:28.040 but you know, like it's just I wanted people to 0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:30.760 just see that, you know, racism takes different forms, and 0:11:30.800 --> 0:11:32.880 so it was just really powerful. And well, I have 0:11:32.960 --> 0:11:37.520 to say this about Ashlyn's audience. They were amazing. I mean, 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:40.720 it's one thing to post something on the page and read, 0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:44.960 but to go live and not one negative comment. I 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:48.080 just I told her it was a testament to her 0:11:48.160 --> 0:11:53.440 character and how she shows up because her audience was like, 0:11:54.240 --> 0:11:56.480 thank you so much. I'm here to learn. I can't 0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:58.920 believe it. What can I do? And then something that 0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:01.760 was really important was shared Mike was that they also 0:12:01.800 --> 0:12:04.240 wanted you to provide two solutions. So I shared two 0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:06.760 solutions about what you can do as an ally, and 0:12:06.920 --> 0:12:10.240 one is to be a miss the Daya that was 0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:12.920 my next door neighbor when somebody tried to burn our 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:14.440 house down and the police try to blame it on 0:12:14.559 --> 0:12:17.800 us and said my sister Lisa, say Lisa had a blowtorch. 0:12:17.840 --> 0:12:22.480 It just was ridiculous. But missus Dadeya, who's white, she 0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:25.840 went to bat for us, and she used her privilege 0:12:25.880 --> 0:12:30.240 as a shield, and because of her, they listened and 0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:32.040 because of her we got everything we were supposed to 0:12:32.040 --> 0:12:34.520 get and because of her we were protected. And so 0:12:34.640 --> 0:12:36.720 be a mister Daya. Use yourself as a shield because 0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:39.040 the consequences for you as a white person are not 0:12:39.200 --> 0:12:42.720 the same as it is for someone who's black. And secondly, 0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:45.200 I said vote with your dollars, that your money and 0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:47.520 your spending should be in alignment with your values. That 0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:52.160 if a company is disparaging against black folks lgbtqs, something 0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:54.400 that you just know is not to not write, then 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:56.719 why are you spending money with them? That we can 0:12:56.760 --> 0:13:00.360 shut down almost anything by just refusing to patronize them. 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:02.640 So those are my two solutions. But honestly, it was 0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:04.640 just really powerful. I mean really powerful. I think they 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:07.480 got over a billion impressions from Share the Mic now, 0:13:07.520 --> 0:13:10.880 and you can learn more. Their Their ig is at 0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:12.880 share the Mic Now and you can learn more and 0:13:12.920 --> 0:13:14.960 see some of our stories there, and you can go 0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:19.559 to if you haven't watched my Share of the Mic 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:24.199 Now video. Ashland is as h l Y N Harris 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:26.320 h A R R I S twenty four. I guess 0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:29.080 that's her number, So Ashland Harris twenty four and you 0:13:29.120 --> 0:13:32.360 can see my brown face all up on her ig 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:36.800 feed and you can see like what happened. It was awesome. 0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:41.360 What I loved about the talk that you gave was that, well, 0:13:41.400 --> 0:13:43.520 the story that broke my heart the most is one 0:13:43.520 --> 0:13:45.880 that you didn't just mention in your recap, which was 0:13:46.000 --> 0:13:49.120 about your little sister. It was Tracy or Lisa, Lisa, 0:13:49.320 --> 0:13:52.280 probably Lisa, who went to school and was put into 0:13:52.320 --> 0:13:55.640 classes that were not they were like remedial or yep, 0:13:55.840 --> 0:13:59.440 just the basic classes, and she was basically underestimated from 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:01.320 the minute that she went to that new school. Right 0:14:02.520 --> 0:14:04.840 that's apps I mean not. And I think each of 0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:07.760 your stories, if you really look at it, and this 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:10.440 is so true to your platform and what you stand for. 0:14:10.480 --> 0:14:15.520 It you were sharing how the simple, the simple color 0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:18.200 of your skin, something that is out of your control, 0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:22.320 can literally set you behind economically. So imagine if your 0:14:22.360 --> 0:14:24.760 mother had not gone to that school and advocated for 0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:26.960 your sister like she did, to get her put in 0:14:27.040 --> 0:14:31.360 classes that were, you know, that matched her level, that 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:34.880 matched her intelligence, she would have been maybe not prepared 0:14:34.920 --> 0:14:38.600 for college. Mm hmm, you know that may or she 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:42.920 might have been prepared, but her her I almost said, resume, 0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:46.520 what do you call it? In school. Yeah, your transcript, 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:49.360 you know, you wouldn't have the classes that maybe they 0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:51.120 wanted you to have at a certain college you wanted 0:14:51.160 --> 0:14:53.160 to go in, and then you just it's a domino 0:14:53.240 --> 0:14:56.600 effect and it and the point about home ownership. You know, 0:14:57.080 --> 0:14:59.920 if you if your house is undervalued, like you shu 0:15:00.200 --> 0:15:03.240 about your parents for years and years and years, I mean, 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:06.360 that is diminishing returns on your investment. I mean, your 0:15:06.480 --> 0:15:09.640 race is actively working against the growth of your investment. 0:15:09.680 --> 0:15:15.080 It's just it's important and storytelling is very important and 0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:19.880 I thank you for sharing because it's fucking hard to 0:15:20.120 --> 0:15:22.240 I mean I could tell you were raw. I think 0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:24.120 I texted you after like, God, I hope you are 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:27.600 somewhere just doing whatever it is that makes you relax, 0:15:27.640 --> 0:15:32.320 because it's exhausting to give to relive those experiences which 0:15:32.320 --> 0:15:35.720 are traumatic and you work so hard to get past them, 0:15:35.760 --> 0:15:38.760 and yet people still need to hear them. And that 0:15:38.880 --> 0:15:41.960 is what has been proven. People need to know these 0:15:42.000 --> 0:15:44.960 personal stories in order for them to feel the empathy 0:15:45.360 --> 0:15:49.880 that is required for them to take action. And yeah, 0:15:49.920 --> 0:15:52.560 so I commend you for that and thank you for 0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:57.800 it because those seven hundred thousand. However, many followers she had. However, 0:15:57.840 --> 0:16:01.200 many people tuned in. Those are people who are walking 0:16:01.280 --> 0:16:04.240 away with a bit like you force them to see 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:07.760 and she helped force them to see you. And that 0:16:07.800 --> 0:16:10.560 movement is so great and I hope, I hope there's 0:16:10.600 --> 0:16:13.240 more of that And that is me too. That is 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:17.840 the definition of allyship, when you get out of the way, 0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:22.520 when you put someone else, put a spotlight on someone 0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:26.880 who deserves and doesn't usually get a spotlight, whose stories 0:16:27.120 --> 0:16:32.000 are maybe not as palatable to your audience, but by 0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:34.240 virtue of your own endorsement of them, or you stepping 0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:36.560 aside and putting them in front of your people, that 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:41.200 you help them be seen and heard. And I wish 0:16:41.680 --> 0:16:43.840 more people understood that, people who wanted to be an 0:16:43.880 --> 0:16:47.520 ally It's not about you using the hashtag, it's not 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:51.760 about you retweeting or sharing. It's about how can I 0:16:51.840 --> 0:16:53.960 And it's as simple as I love that anecdote about 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:57.400 your neighbor. Yeah, it's as simple. And it's fucking sad 0:16:57.440 --> 0:16:59.520 that she had to do that for you, but in 0:16:59.560 --> 0:17:02.800 your family. But it's about you, know, in whatever moment 0:17:03.200 --> 0:17:06.560 you have, how can you help lift someone up and 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:10.920 recognize that you have something to offer them? Just because 0:17:11.000 --> 0:17:14.760 people see you and see you differently, and they see 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:17.480 them much differently based on this color, the color of 0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:21.720 their skin. And yeah, I I so let's talk more 0:17:21.720 --> 0:17:26.320 about allyship because I know it is such a loaded word. 0:17:26.480 --> 0:17:29.760 And there's this new phrase, not new, but the phrase 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:33.240 that's going around now is performative allyship, which is to 0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:38.520 be uh, we should all be very weary of performative allyship. 0:17:38.600 --> 0:17:41.720 And how would you describe performative allyship? 0:17:42.359 --> 0:17:45.240 These damn companies in my inbox talking about black lives matter, 0:17:45.280 --> 0:17:47.280 but you have nobody black on your board or who 0:17:47.280 --> 0:17:50.119 works in any position of power, Like, please miss me 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:53.200 with that. It's like when all these brands who years ago, 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:54.520 when I reached out to them said I want to 0:17:54.560 --> 0:17:57.840 help black women and they were like, oh girl, no 0:17:57.840 --> 0:18:00.680 Now they begged me. Literally, if you see my inbox, 0:18:01.160 --> 0:18:03.840 like ebany, my admin is like what is this? I'm like, 0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:07.199 it's called the first girl and they don't care, and 0:18:07.240 --> 0:18:09.320 so I don't care. Like that's why you rarely see 0:18:09.359 --> 0:18:12.199 me partner with anyone because quite honestly, where were you 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:14.040 when we really needed to help? Now that I got 0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:16.480 my Now that I got my folks, I got them big, 0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:19.760 good so that's what it is. It's it's when you 0:18:19.840 --> 0:18:22.359 say a thing, but you don't do a thing that 0:18:22.520 --> 0:18:23.800 is performance allyship. 0:18:24.520 --> 0:18:28.120 So it sounds like you're totally like for businesses that 0:18:28.240 --> 0:18:30.439 are stepping up now or not stepping up, that sounds 0:18:30.480 --> 0:18:33.480 like they're doing something. But for businesses that are looking 0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:36.199 for a way to respond to this moment, do you 0:18:36.320 --> 0:18:40.000 generally look at them with that level of cynicism, like, 0:18:40.080 --> 0:18:42.760 what's what's the what's an example of a business that 0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:46.280 maybe is doing something that could because I you want 0:18:46.280 --> 0:18:48.840 to people to feel called to the moment, but I 0:18:49.280 --> 0:18:51.440 totally get it. You know, they're not walking the walk. 0:18:51.480 --> 0:18:52.800 There's lip service, you know. 0:18:53.119 --> 0:18:56.159 Yes, so a business an ideal business, right who is 0:18:56.240 --> 0:18:58.919 not performing as an ally because they were an ally 0:18:59.000 --> 0:19:03.960 before ring an after? Is Ben and Jerry's like they 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:08.080 those are some GE's boy like banning. Yes, have you 0:19:08.200 --> 0:19:10.639 seen their ig? You know they about that life. 0:19:10.800 --> 0:19:13.440 I can't say I've ever thought to follow them. Yes, 0:19:13.560 --> 0:19:16.479 I do enjoy their non dairy selection. They have improved 0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:20.320 it over the years. They are my ally and continuous. 0:19:20.200 --> 0:19:22.840 And so if you go to Ben and Jerry's website, 0:19:22.920 --> 0:19:27.439 they have this whole educational component for Black Lives Matter. 0:19:27.680 --> 0:19:29.800 That's why I pulled a lot of the visuals that 0:19:29.880 --> 0:19:33.760 I used on Ashland's page from Ben and Jerry's icteam page. 0:19:33.880 --> 0:19:37.560 Can you imagine like they have all this research they posted. 0:19:37.800 --> 0:19:39.919 I mean, they've been about that life. But Ben, like 0:19:39.920 --> 0:19:43.160 if you they were interviewed for how I built this 0:19:43.440 --> 0:19:45.960 a podcast that we like, But they have always been 0:19:46.040 --> 0:19:48.639 their old school hippie so they've always been like, you know, 0:19:48.920 --> 0:19:51.680 anti establishment and what's right is right, what's wrong is wrong, 0:19:52.080 --> 0:19:56.080 and so I mean they are I mean, if I 0:19:56.160 --> 0:19:58.879 had to say an A plus plus gold star ally, 0:19:59.040 --> 0:20:00.080 it's Ben and Jerry. 0:20:00.840 --> 0:20:03.919 That is amazing. That's amazing. Yeah, well, I'm glad to 0:20:03.920 --> 0:20:05.280 hear you say that, because I do think that there 0:20:05.320 --> 0:20:07.800 are some companies and you're right, but then there are 0:20:07.840 --> 0:20:11.520 the ones that maybe haven't done anything, or there's there's 0:20:11.560 --> 0:20:14.920 an there's over on what was it. I feel like 0:20:14.960 --> 0:20:17.760 Silicon Valley, I don't know, maybe ten years ago, I 0:20:17.760 --> 0:20:20.680 forget now had that big wave where they started publishing 0:20:20.680 --> 0:20:23.720 diversity stats and it was appalling. It was like one 0:20:23.760 --> 0:20:27.359 percent of your staff as black, like thousands and thousands 0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:29.919 and thousands of people, and it was just it was 0:20:29.960 --> 0:20:32.719 just replicated across Silicon Valley and that put a lot 0:20:32.760 --> 0:20:35.520 of pressure on corporations to step up, and so you 0:20:35.560 --> 0:20:39.840 saw people appoint heads of diversity or you know, start 0:20:39.880 --> 0:20:44.040 departments dedicated to within human resources, dedicated to inclusion and 0:20:44.080 --> 0:20:47.440 having you know, trainings and unconscious bias and things like that. 0:20:47.760 --> 0:20:50.840 But still, I genuinely don't think those things move the 0:20:50.880 --> 0:20:52.919 needle at all because it was just sort of a 0:20:53.000 --> 0:20:56.320 box you could tick. And also on the list of 0:20:56.800 --> 0:21:01.080 priorities for a big company, whether private or public, often 0:21:01.840 --> 0:21:05.480 there is no one preaching the value and diversity, and 0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:09.000 diversity is an indirect it has indirect value on a 0:21:09.040 --> 0:21:12.720 company's bottom line. And companies are so used to focusing 0:21:12.720 --> 0:21:14.360 on how do I spend a dollar and get ten 0:21:14.680 --> 0:21:17.920 Like give me that idea and it's you know, advertising 0:21:18.000 --> 0:21:22.320 or just very like straight, that straight idea of capitalism 0:21:22.440 --> 0:21:24.399 is what drives them. And so when it comes to 0:21:24.480 --> 0:21:26.560 issues of inclusion and diversity, it's just not always in 0:21:26.600 --> 0:21:27.240