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Speaker 1: You don't hear me concession, I can't take back earl arms.

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Speaker 2: Mouse speak text to seventy eighty five nine two says,

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Speaker 2: I shine a laser pointer through my neighbor's window. When

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Speaker 2: they're gone. Their cat has trashed three sets of blinds

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Speaker 2: chasing it. They have they have no idea. It's me,

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Speaker 2: am I evil?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yep, you're like Darth Vader.

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Speaker 2: But instead of using a laser to destroy planets, to

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Speaker 2: use it to destroy window decor from my pa.

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Speaker 4: They're probably so confused. They're like, where are you mad

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Speaker 4: at us? Cats?

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Speaker 5: The cat's probably so tired tho when they come home,

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Speaker 5: it's kind of nice when they're shredded curtains.

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Speaker 3: Because here's the thing.

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Speaker 2: We all have got inner demons, and instead of letting

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Speaker 2: them out on your friends and your loved ones, why

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Speaker 2: not let them out here on the mass speaker while

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Speaker 2: we hide your identity.

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Speaker 5: Hey, why do I feel like jose would play with

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Speaker 5: a laser pointer for at least five minutes?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, there's somebody naturally hid it. I didn't your hands,

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Speaker 4: I'd where's that coming from?

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Speaker 2: But one woman's decided to take us up on the

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Speaker 2: offer of hiding her identity.

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Speaker 3: She's chosen the name Jen today. So Jen, welcome to

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Speaker 3: the show.

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Speaker 6: Hi, how is it going?

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Speaker 7: Okay? We love hearing secrets and confessions.

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Speaker 6: What do you got?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, voice changer is on. You are the mass speaker.

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Speaker 2: Whenever you're ready, let's hear it.

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Speaker 6: Okay. I have a trick that I used to get

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Speaker 6: free meals from restaurants.

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Speaker 7: Okay, hey, this is going to be great.

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Speaker 5: Well, the last time we heard this, it was involved

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Speaker 5: a woman eating leftovers in the hallway of a hotel.

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Speaker 4: From the Upper Swedes.

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Speaker 7: It doesn't matter, it was not fresh meal.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, if you're telling me it's a dumpster behind, we

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Speaker 5: need to do that.

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Speaker 3: So you to give us new idea, now, okay, what

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Speaker 3: do you do?

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Speaker 6: All right? So I will say that it doesn't work

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Speaker 6: all of the time. Actually most of the time.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't work.

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Speaker 6: Oh oh, sometimes I will do it. Sometimes I will

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Speaker 6: do it because you know how certain restaurants say children

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Speaker 6: under five free.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, like the big chains typically.

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Speaker 6: Okay, right, I'll go to those places and I'll tell

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Speaker 6: the host that I legally identify as a four year old.

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Speaker 5: Oh my god, I mean, the only one that's hooking

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Speaker 5: you up with food?

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Speaker 7: Who is someone who wants to be in on the joke.

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Speaker 6: We usually they're not quite sure how to respond to that.

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Speaker 6: But I got a certificate from the state that yeah, okay,

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Speaker 6: I mean it's fake, but it's printed off on really

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Speaker 6: great computer visits. Okay, it was totally legit.

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Speaker 7: It was totally Yeah, she's on canvas.

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Speaker 2: Okay, do you have a fake document from the state

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Speaker 2: that says that you are four?

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Speaker 6: It says I legally am to be treated like a

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Speaker 6: four real my, I mean, everybody doesn't go for it,

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Speaker 6: but a lot of restaurants will just say, you know,

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Speaker 6: it's free for kids under five if they're a companied

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Speaker 6: by an adult.

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Speaker 5: So does that mean you have to bring someone with

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Speaker 5: you to pull this off?

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Speaker 6: My buddies and I do it though. My my buddies

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Speaker 6: will go and they love the whole and falling through

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Speaker 6: the chase.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you have accomplices, Now that's great.

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Speaker 1: I could see why this randomly works, because if it

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Speaker 1: happened to me, I was your server, I would be like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: they have a legal document, like, we don't want to

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Speaker 1: get sued.

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Speaker 5: This is a legal document that says you're younger than

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Speaker 5: you are. Listen, I've tried to get it.

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Speaker 7: It doesn't exist, and I am only twenty.

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Speaker 4: She does have one.

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Speaker 2: I could see how a restaurant worker, especially like a

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Speaker 2: young hostess, that wouldn't know any better than to just

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Speaker 2: be like, okay.

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Speaker 5: I don't feel bad because okay, maybe you don't care

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Speaker 5: about screwing the whole chain out of food, but you're

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Speaker 5: screwing the waiter out of.

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Speaker 7: A tip and you're taking up a table.

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Speaker 6: Well, I didn't say that. I didn't tip the waiter.

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Speaker 6: I just said that I got the food for free

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Speaker 6: half rise exactly, so.

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Speaker 3: It's free brook, she's four. Don't yell at her.

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Speaker 7: When did you try this the first time? What was

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Speaker 7: that like? Were you scared?

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Speaker 6: Oh? Not really because I did have something fifty with me.

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Speaker 6: But it was exciting just to see if I could

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Speaker 6: get away with it, like.

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Speaker 1: Stealing, you know, like people say they get an adrenaline

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Speaker 1: rush out of it because they.

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Speaker 7: Know they're doing She gets you free chicken.

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Speaker 2: So do you ever get any like backlash from it?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 6: Sure, I mean some places have thrown me out. I've

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Speaker 6: been banned from a couple of places.

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Speaker 5: So it's a hack for free food if you don't

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Speaker 5: have any pride.

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Speaker 6: Clearly, I have no dignity, So whatever she's like.

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Speaker 1: I tried to eat lunch two hours ago. I've been

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Speaker 1: kicked out of four places though someone takes me.

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Speaker 7: Do you throw a tantrum when they kick you out?

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Speaker 6: I haven't actually tried that yet, but my idea, I'll

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Speaker 6: just pitch a sit and see how far it'll go.

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Speaker 3: I'm just shocked at certain places. Whatever, go for it.

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Speaker 6: Easier for them to say yes. Nowadays, people are just

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Speaker 6: so scared to offend others.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, you don't want to the four year old

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Speaker 2: trying to get free food from your restaurants, So just

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Speaker 2: give them the maclina way.

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Speaker 4: If you're three or four, text stand if you're offended.

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Speaker 3: By this, this is.

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Speaker 4: Your group that she's messing.

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Speaker 3: That's right.

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Speaker 5: Honestly, she'll probably ruin the free food for kids for everybody.

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Speaker 7: I mean, that's how it works.

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Speaker 4: And imagine when she's a senior, she's gonna be like forty, like, oh,

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Speaker 4: by the way.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, we just make your own peanut butter and jelly

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Speaker 5: sandwichet up your own dynamo.

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Speaker 6: It wouldn't it be amazing. It'd be amazing to go

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Speaker 6: down in history as a single individual who actually inadvertently

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Speaker 6: got rid of free food for everybody time.

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Speaker 3: You take pride in that. Interesting okay, And I don't.

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Speaker 7: Think it's going in history books.

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Speaker 6: Yes, probably not much, Probably not so much.

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Speaker 7: I think it's good that you keep this one a secret.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, no part of you feels like this

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Speaker 2: is wrong.

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Speaker 5: I'm doing a bad thing, not even a little What

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Speaker 5: about just like this is weird?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, it's kind of weird. But that's the fun part too.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, that's a.

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Speaker 6: Great flag line. See how far you can push the envelope.

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Speaker 7: All right, Wow, I don't know that it's weird in

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Speaker 7: a fun way.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm kind of rooting for the laser pointer cat

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Speaker 2: lady at the beginning of this.

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Speaker 3: But well, Jen, good.

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Speaker 2: Luck with your ongoing restaurant scam and text into seven

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Speaker 2: eighty five nine too. If you have a confession you've

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Speaker 2: been holding on to, we can hyd your identity, master

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Speaker 2: your voice, and make you our next mass speaker.

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Speaker 3: Your phone TAP's coming up right after this.

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Speaker 7: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,