WEBVTT - Finding Your Voice with Jamie King

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<v Speaker 1>Wind Down with Janet Kramer and iHeartRadio Podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Our special guest this week is none other than Jamie King.

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<v Speaker 2>She's an actor, filmmaker, activist, and mother and we're going

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<v Speaker 2>to get her on to talk all the things. Obviously,

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<v Speaker 2>I know who you are and your work and a

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<v Speaker 2>big fan of yours, but there's just reading your story too,

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<v Speaker 2>and about your life, and there's I just I feel

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<v Speaker 2>for you in the because you know, I've been in

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<v Speaker 2>custody stuff with my ex and the relationship. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>it's just it's it's hard when it's just so front

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<v Speaker 2>and center and you're dealing within kids, and so I

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<v Speaker 2>just really empathize with a lot of your story and yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry, Like that's a it's it's just a tough situation.

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<v Speaker 2>So I don't know how you know how open you

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<v Speaker 2>are to that piece of it or if you're just

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<v Speaker 2>trying to I've never talked about it, yeah, so and

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<v Speaker 2>that yeah, because I'm like, I just feel like I've

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<v Speaker 2>heard so much of from that other person, and it's

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<v Speaker 2>it's hard because I'm like, I just you know, that's

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<v Speaker 2>that to me is sad because it's like you just

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<v Speaker 2>because it's not true exactly, yeah, right, And my.

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<v Speaker 1>Dudia is and mother is to protect my children absolutely,

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<v Speaker 1>and that's all that matters to me. And this is scary.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh we don't. We don't have to. I just you know.

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<v Speaker 1>But honestly speaking, the thing is is that I just

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<v Speaker 1>didn't know when I, you know, got married at a

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<v Speaker 1>young age and something I was very proud of, and

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<v Speaker 1>I just didn't know that that the world works like this.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't know that legal systems work like this. And

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<v Speaker 1>not to sound like some kind of neophyte, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>but I thought that you know, when you choose to

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<v Speaker 1>love someone, and you love that person, you bel family

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<v Speaker 1>with them and you trust them, and sometimes it's not

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<v Speaker 1>always that way. And the reason why I don't speak

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<v Speaker 1>ones because I want my h I never wanted my

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<v Speaker 1>children to think that any part of them was wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm extremely grateful, and at the same time, the system

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<v Speaker 1>is really unfair, and I think that it's really important

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<v Speaker 1>to support the structure of family and and kindness. Kindness

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<v Speaker 1>is the key, It's the key to everything, no matter what.

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<v Speaker 1>Just be kind, yeah, and be kind and tell the truth.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's not so easy, you know, to speak one's

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<v Speaker 1>own truth when you're bombarded with the whole It's like

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<v Speaker 1>it's almost like politics. It's like a polittle like a

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<v Speaker 1>like a campaign, and it's so stunning, you know, it's

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<v Speaker 1>so stunnying, and not in a good way. You know.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, no, I hear you. And it's and it's

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<v Speaker 2>too you know, there's I can think back to. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, I've been vocal about my ex husband, but

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<v Speaker 2>there are many things that I haven't shared because I

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<v Speaker 2>don't want it to affect my kids and because one

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<v Speaker 2>day they will read things and they will they will

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<v Speaker 2>see things, and you know, but there is I agree

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<v Speaker 2>with you on the legal system. I've I've been in

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<v Speaker 2>abusive relationships in the past, and you know, even from

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<v Speaker 2>the comments to the system, it's it's it's very messed up.

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<v Speaker 2>And what they do to women in that and how

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<v Speaker 2>they can turn it is is mind blowing. Like from

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<v Speaker 2>what you know, I've worked in some shelters and what

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<v Speaker 2>I've seen is just I'm like, wait, you, how are

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<v Speaker 2>you in trouble for like he he stabbed you fifteen times?

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<v Speaker 2>How how are you sitting here in this in this

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<v Speaker 2>jail right now? Like it was just and im I

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<v Speaker 2>did that work with my therapist because I was working

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<v Speaker 2>through my trauma of the guy that tried to kill me,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, it's been but what I saw mostly

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<v Speaker 2>was the broken system within that as well with those women.

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<v Speaker 1>So I guess the kind of system that I mean

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<v Speaker 1>it really is. It's it's terrifying. Hm, It's truly terrifying,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, because what is required of you to even

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<v Speaker 1>protect your own self first and foremost is insanely difficult.

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<v Speaker 1>The laws that are put into place to protect women

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<v Speaker 1>of color and women in general, you know, have been

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<v Speaker 1>flipped on there. It makes me emotional, have been because

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<v Speaker 1>I've never spoken about this.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry, you know, it's okay.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you have been flipped on their heads. It's heads

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<v Speaker 1>one could say, where now? Men are you utilizing these

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<v Speaker 1>laws to abuse? Because it's a no fault state. That's

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<v Speaker 1>it's terrifying. It's terrifying, you know, when to leave are

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<v Speaker 1>to be able to be free means that you have

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<v Speaker 1>to pay a very extreme price. And I'm not just

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<v Speaker 1>talking about financially, you know, it's it's just, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>it's very upsetting and I will do everything in my

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<v Speaker 1>power to change the system. And it's not a will

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going.

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<v Speaker 2>To well, girl, I'd love to march on with you,

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<v Speaker 2>because that is there's so many and that's I appreciate

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<v Speaker 2>you sharing that you know that piece. And I know

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<v Speaker 2>you said you haven't chatted about it, but it's.

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<v Speaker 1>I haven't chatted.

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<v Speaker 2>The more you talk about it.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't like, I didn't even know that i'd be

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<v Speaker 1>like feel safe enough to even saying anything because I'm scared.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm still scared.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm really well, of course, because the abuser is in

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<v Speaker 2>the in your ear, and I think for me, that's

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<v Speaker 2>the hardest piece. It took me many years to say

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<v Speaker 2>that I was abused and I'm and I'm still not

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<v Speaker 2>saying by who really yet because by because there's some

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<v Speaker 2>people that I haven't actually said because I'm still scared

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<v Speaker 2>of them. I'm scared of what they'll do. I'm scared

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<v Speaker 2>of what will you know, how it'll get flipped on me.

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<v Speaker 1>There'll always be a consequence, Yeah, like the things that

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<v Speaker 1>you put in a place to actually protect yourself will

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<v Speaker 1>somehow be flipped around to hurt.

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<v Speaker 2>And used against you or taken or things taken away

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<v Speaker 2>from it or in your most vulnerable moments. Things that

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<v Speaker 2>I've shared those people will flip it on you, and

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<v Speaker 2>that's the piece where and and so, But I I

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<v Speaker 2>do believe within talking about it and sharing it can

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<v Speaker 2>open eyes because I think it's so messed how it

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<v Speaker 2>messed up, how it goes to. They can leave bruises

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<v Speaker 2>on your arms or do say X y or do this.

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<v Speaker 2>But yet we are still going to the woman and saying, well,

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<v Speaker 2>what'd you do? You know? Or let's yeah, and I'm like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>I just I just can't with that whole piece of it.

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<v Speaker 2>But so I am, I'm sorry for what you have

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<v Speaker 2>gone through. You've had, you know, your your life starting

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<v Speaker 2>from you know, your childhood and you know growing up

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<v Speaker 2>with the bullying and the you know.

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<v Speaker 1>The I'm sorry drugs, what you're going through.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you. It's but it's hard because and I don't

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<v Speaker 2>I've probably I've only talked about my abuse piece a

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<v Speaker 2>few times because that's still the hardest piece to talk

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<v Speaker 2>about a because it gets flipped the comments, and it's

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<v Speaker 2>the you still have them in your voice going well

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<v Speaker 2>did I or do I did I deserve that? Or

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<v Speaker 2>yeah or what because they start to try to change

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<v Speaker 2>your own perception of what actually happened.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's like like the it's it's almost like penete

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<v Speaker 1>on that donkey or blind folds, like in you're spun around, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and you're trying to hit some kind of mark and

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<v Speaker 1>you don't and that mark just keeps changing. Yeah, So

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<v Speaker 1>it's like no matter what it is that you do,

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<v Speaker 1>you'll never be enough and it altered. Like it's really

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<v Speaker 1>like that dizziness, that that isolation, the constant messaging that

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<v Speaker 1>you're something that you're completely not, you know, starts to

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<v Speaker 1>color your world. Right. It's like the best way that

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<v Speaker 1>I can explain that experience is like when there's a

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<v Speaker 1>white wall and someone keeps saying that wall is black,

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<v Speaker 1>that wall is black, Like are you crazy? Everyone knows

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<v Speaker 1>that wall is black, And then anyone you care about

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<v Speaker 1>that wall is black. Don't you see that wall is black.

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<v Speaker 1>But they do it with this kind of charisma, this charm,

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<v Speaker 1>this this thing that we're supposed to have, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>like that like as as filmmakers, as actors, as you know,

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<v Speaker 1>as journalists, as people that speak and talk and relate

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<v Speaker 1>to the world, that that charisma, that thing, but not

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<v Speaker 1>everyone has that thing, and in a way to manipulate

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<v Speaker 1>because the amount of the mental level of strategy is

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<v Speaker 1>far beyond what I could ever possibly imagine as a

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<v Speaker 1>mother and as a filmmaker and as a friend. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>the amount of time that it takes to strategize on

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<v Speaker 1>that kind of level. That is what I do, and

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<v Speaker 1>I commit to my work to that which I really

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<v Speaker 1>care about. You know, it's just extraordinary, you know, not

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<v Speaker 1>all loving and you know, mental, physical, emotional energy is

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<v Speaker 1>put towards those things that.

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<v Speaker 2>Matter well and being a mom and the mam a

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<v Speaker 2>bear and you're wanting to you know, I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>if that you're still in that situation, but like I

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<v Speaker 2>had to pay SPOLSI support and I'd pay child support

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<v Speaker 2>every month to my ex, to my person who hurt

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<v Speaker 2>me and did the destruction in our marriage. And that's

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<v Speaker 2>a piece of you know that I've gotten to a

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<v Speaker 2>place now where I'm like, okay, I'm trying to you know,

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<v Speaker 2>not have so much anger and resentment with it. But

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<v Speaker 2>there is this, you know, we we work so hard

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<v Speaker 2>to provide and to also nurture and care for our

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<v Speaker 2>kids as well. So yeah, so I also validate you

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<v Speaker 2>and that must be a difficult situation as well. And

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<v Speaker 2>to have someone like throwing things out you being like

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<v Speaker 2>you're unfit this and like anyone I will like watch me,

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<v Speaker 2>mama there like the you know it's like to have

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<v Speaker 2>any father say that about I just was like, I can't.

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<v Speaker 1>It's disgusting. I'm just to be clear, like like it's no,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I might as well just be honest. If

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<v Speaker 1>this is the person I'm talking about this with someone

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<v Speaker 1>that has gone through it, it's really disturbing, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's it's like and also it's not logical or

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<v Speaker 1>practical at all.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just to me feels very calculated.

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<v Speaker 1>It just it doesn't make it ends right. So you're

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<v Speaker 1>unfit If all of these things are being said, then

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<v Speaker 1>how are you fit to then provide for the children?

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<v Speaker 1>How are you fit to go work twelve to eighteen

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<v Speaker 1>hours a day? How are you fit to you know,

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<v Speaker 1>when your entire or my entire marriage, I paid for everything,

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<v Speaker 1>the entire like it's I and I and I was proud.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm always proud to be the person that or a

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<v Speaker 1>person that has earned everything that I have. You know

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<v Speaker 1>that that matters to me.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And it's showing your children too, how you know, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>determination and respect and you know going after your dreams,

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<v Speaker 2>Like it's a beautiful, beautiful thing to show your kids.

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<v Speaker 1>That so that's the best. It just doesn't makes sense.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like, what price is There's no Like I'm like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>there's no price to pay for freedom.

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<v Speaker 2>My therapist taught me with this, and you might you

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<v Speaker 2>can take this one too. But where I got to

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<v Speaker 2>kind of a piece with it. Where is to me

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<v Speaker 2>it's my freedom check. I would rather be out of

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<v Speaker 2>it than in it. So if I have to pay it,

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<v Speaker 2>it's my freedom check, yes, exactly. And so as much

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<v Speaker 2>as I don't like paying it, because right, we all

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<v Speaker 2>have stresses to meet needs of other things, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>on top of the household and everything else that you

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<v Speaker 2>know we do and work and provide. But it's like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>here's my freedom check to not be with you anymore.

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<v Speaker 2>If that's what I have to do to not be

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<v Speaker 2>with anymore, I will write this check for the rest

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<v Speaker 2>of my life, say till eighteen.

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<v Speaker 1>Right. That's like, if there's no price of the give

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<v Speaker 1>your freedom right? Yeah, And it is about that reframing,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, that's a really good perspective of your therapist

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<v Speaker 1>and you because it's always about like Okay, how do

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<v Speaker 1>we you know, continue to do something without feeling resentment

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<v Speaker 1>about it? Because I that's not where I prefer to live.

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<v Speaker 1>Is that space? And I don't mind? I really don't mind.

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<v Speaker 2>Again, is there so you have loved Danielle right now?

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<v Speaker 2>That's that's that's out?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you?

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<v Speaker 2>Is there something within everything that you've gone through that

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<v Speaker 2>you were like, I want to create and I want

0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:18.160
<v Speaker 2>to play this type of character to be almost like

0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:20.360
<v Speaker 2>I remember when I it was not a big movie

0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:22.640
<v Speaker 2>by any means, but it was a role where I

0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:26.160
<v Speaker 2>got to play someone being abuse and it was I

0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:28.760
<v Speaker 2>didn't know how I would handle in being in that role,

0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:31.040
<v Speaker 2>but it was ended up being the most therapeutic role

0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:34.000
<v Speaker 2>I've ever played, because I mean in one of the

0:13:34.000 --> 0:13:36.280
<v Speaker 2>scenes where I'm like being strangled and choked, like, I

0:13:36.360 --> 0:13:38.760
<v Speaker 2>ended up having this like wild release from the moment

0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:41.080
<v Speaker 2>that you know it happened. So I wonder, is there

0:13:41.120 --> 0:13:42.960
<v Speaker 2>something for you where you're like, I want to I

0:13:43.000 --> 0:13:46.720
<v Speaker 2>want to tackle maybe drug drug abuse from this age

0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:49.160
<v Speaker 2>or you know, the the abuse or to to then

0:13:49.240 --> 0:13:52.640
<v Speaker 2>almost not saying you're not over it, but to help

0:13:53.000 --> 0:13:55.880
<v Speaker 2>almost heal pieces of you that might still be unhealed.

0:13:56.840 --> 0:13:59.880
<v Speaker 1>I think that with every role that comes to it,

0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:08.200
<v Speaker 1>that there is an opportunity to clear and release and

0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:12.200
<v Speaker 1>let go of what we've experienced, right and to like

0:14:12.280 --> 0:14:14.680
<v Speaker 1>Carrie Fisher always said, you'd take your broken heart and

0:14:14.840 --> 0:14:19.280
<v Speaker 1>turn it into art. And for me, acting is not

0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:23.479
<v Speaker 1>it's not like just a playing of a person. It's

0:14:23.560 --> 0:14:26.160
<v Speaker 1>how we merge ourselves with our own truth inside of

0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:32.760
<v Speaker 1>ourselves and the truth within the character. And as you know,

0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:37.720
<v Speaker 1>there's always a release when you're in that moment. Right

0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:42.000
<v Speaker 1>with Loved Danielle, that film was actually brought to me

0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:49.800
<v Speaker 1>originally to direct, and the script was so beautiful and

0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:54.160
<v Speaker 1>so complex, and it was all donation based, and it

0:14:54.240 --> 0:14:58.960
<v Speaker 1>was on a very short time frame, and I've lost

0:14:59.040 --> 0:15:03.280
<v Speaker 1>people that I I'm very close with, you know, to cancer,

0:15:03.520 --> 0:15:05.600
<v Speaker 1>and I've been on the border same to cancer for

0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:10.000
<v Speaker 1>over a decade and Sean Parker Institute, and so that

0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:11.400
<v Speaker 1>really mattered to me. So I was like, you know,

0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:13.800
<v Speaker 1>I don't think this is the one that I can

0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:17.760
<v Speaker 1>direct right now, but I will be here no matter what.

0:15:18.480 --> 0:15:21.640
<v Speaker 1>And so for me, with Love Danielle, it was really

0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:26.240
<v Speaker 1>an opportunity to celebrate what Devin went through and her

0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:30.680
<v Speaker 1>sister and you know this can like this consistent fight

0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:35.120
<v Speaker 1>that not only the family went through. But then I

0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:37.160
<v Speaker 1>don't mean fight, I'm talking about fighting a dance cancer.

0:15:37.200 --> 0:15:42.240
<v Speaker 1>Obviously that was hard. It was really hard because I

0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:48.040
<v Speaker 1>lost my best friend to cancer and and it's it

0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:51.600
<v Speaker 1>was but it was joyful too. It was joyful because

0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:55.320
<v Speaker 1>I was able to have fun in the experience and again,

0:15:55.680 --> 0:15:59.560
<v Speaker 1>you know, clear and release and work through and and

0:15:59.640 --> 0:16:02.320
<v Speaker 1>take it different tone, because you know, tone is really

0:16:02.360 --> 0:16:05.800
<v Speaker 1>hard sometimes, you know, like how you're approaching a scene

0:16:06.160 --> 0:16:08.360
<v Speaker 1>or a topic, you know what I mean, Like, I

0:16:08.360 --> 0:16:10.160
<v Speaker 1>don't know if you've ever like read a scene, You're like,

0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:13.400
<v Speaker 1>I just don't know what tone this is. Yeah, for this,

0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:17.560
<v Speaker 1>like I really understood what tone it was. And it's like,

0:16:17.920 --> 0:16:20.080
<v Speaker 1>you know when someone can be laughing when they want

0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:22.640
<v Speaker 1>to cry, you know. So it was really taking that

0:16:22.720 --> 0:16:27.440
<v Speaker 1>kind of approach. And I'm just very very proud of

0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:31.000
<v Speaker 1>the film, and I'm really proud of Devin and Amy

0:16:31.200 --> 0:16:33.760
<v Speaker 1>and everyone that made like was able to make that

0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:34.760
<v Speaker 1>movie happen.

0:16:34.880 --> 0:16:37.960
<v Speaker 2>It's a scartaining do you have I mean, because you

0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:41.960
<v Speaker 2>said you're directing, is there anything you know for you

0:16:41.960 --> 0:16:45.880
<v Speaker 2>your kind of dream, either directing or role that you.

0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:50.040
<v Speaker 2>I mean, you've played some amazing parts and like you're

0:16:50.080 --> 0:16:52.760
<v Speaker 2>you're incredible at what you do. So is there something

0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:55.080
<v Speaker 2>for you where you're like, I really want to check

0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:57.400
<v Speaker 2>this one off, the you know, check this box off.

0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:01.720
<v Speaker 1>I started my production company a few years ago. It's

0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:07.680
<v Speaker 1>called Hooligan Dreamers Productions. And for me, there are multiple

0:17:07.840 --> 0:17:09.480
<v Speaker 1>boxes that I want to check off, and they are

0:17:09.560 --> 0:17:12.840
<v Speaker 1>for other people and not just myself. We need to

0:17:13.240 --> 0:17:16.199
<v Speaker 1>completely well, I don't want to say completely, but the

0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:19.320
<v Speaker 1>system needs to be changed. What I care about is

0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:22.800
<v Speaker 1>that other humans, other artists, have opportunities to be seen

0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:25.480
<v Speaker 1>when they're not seen, to be heard when they're not heard,

0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:29.119
<v Speaker 1>to have not just the opportunity to walk into a

0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:34.000
<v Speaker 1>room and to share the gifts that they have with

0:17:34.240 --> 0:17:37.440
<v Speaker 1>the world, but to actually have that happen, for it

0:17:37.520 --> 0:17:44.560
<v Speaker 1>to actually be realized on screen, and you know, to

0:17:44.920 --> 0:17:48.600
<v Speaker 1>make people feel less alone. That's really what I care about. Yeah,

0:17:48.640 --> 0:17:52.160
<v Speaker 1>that's really what I care about, you know, because there

0:17:52.160 --> 0:18:01.359
<v Speaker 1>are positions of power that are I think misrepresented and unnecessary,

0:18:01.400 --> 0:18:03.320
<v Speaker 1>and so I just want to tell stories with people

0:18:03.320 --> 0:18:05.920
<v Speaker 1>that I love. Yeah, and do it responsibly.

0:18:06.200 --> 0:18:08.400
<v Speaker 2>Let's do it. Let's do let's do one together, Let's

0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:08.679
<v Speaker 2>do it.

0:18:09.920 --> 0:18:11.560
<v Speaker 1>No, I mean when I say that, I actually know.

0:18:11.600 --> 0:18:14.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm saying, can we actually be in you know? I'm like,

0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:16.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm dreaming up one right now, we're I think the

0:18:16.880 --> 0:18:19.320
<v Speaker 2>system got it wrong. We're in prison, yes, you know,

0:18:19.480 --> 0:18:21.080
<v Speaker 2>or some or one of us is there and you're

0:18:21.080 --> 0:18:23.040
<v Speaker 2>going to help get somebody you know, get me out,

0:18:23.080 --> 0:18:25.840
<v Speaker 2>I'll get you out whatever. Yes, you know there's something

0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:27.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't know or something there.

0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:28.040
<v Speaker 1>There's something there.

0:18:28.240 --> 0:18:31.480
<v Speaker 2>There really is something there. What do you do talk

0:18:31.480 --> 0:18:33.240
<v Speaker 2>about your sobriety at all? Or no?

0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:36.879
<v Speaker 1>I've never had to think about myself like sober or

0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:42.600
<v Speaker 1>not sober? Correct I stop using like thirteen seventeen or something.

0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:46.359
<v Speaker 2>Well, i think, what's so? I read that? But then

0:18:46.400 --> 0:18:48.439
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, why then did she have to go to rehab?

0:18:48.520 --> 0:18:49.560
<v Speaker 2>Like I didn't understand that.

0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:52.440
<v Speaker 1>Oh I didn't like what Now.

0:18:52.800 --> 0:18:55.240
<v Speaker 2>I saw some article that was like no, no, no, no,

0:18:55.280 --> 0:18:57.440
<v Speaker 2>that's not she was ordered a six month rehead program,

0:18:57.480 --> 0:18:59.000
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, I wonder, so this is where I

0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:01.399
<v Speaker 2>go right with Like with the ex husbands, I'm like,

0:19:01.440 --> 0:19:03.399
<v Speaker 2>I bet you because the stories that she, you know,

0:19:03.520 --> 0:19:06.000
<v Speaker 2>said when she was younger, you know that he's now

0:19:06.040 --> 0:19:07.000
<v Speaker 2>used her.

0:19:07.600 --> 0:19:10.000
<v Speaker 1>That's precisely what happened, and.

0:19:09.920 --> 0:19:13.120
<v Speaker 2>That's so messed up. I literally that was my note.

0:19:13.119 --> 0:19:15.239
<v Speaker 2>I just want to say, you know, did he your

0:19:15.320 --> 0:19:18.480
<v Speaker 2>husband saying yes? Was that used against you from your

0:19:18.560 --> 0:19:21.240
<v Speaker 2>vulnerable conversations that you had when you were younger? Used

0:19:21.240 --> 0:19:21.639
<v Speaker 2>against you?

0:19:21.760 --> 0:19:25.159
<v Speaker 1>Yes? Even though I publicly spoken what a system and

0:19:25.680 --> 0:19:30.800
<v Speaker 1>have worked through the entirety of my life to protect

0:19:30.880 --> 0:19:35.240
<v Speaker 1>people that have gone through those things. Yes, absolutely, Wis.

0:19:35.720 --> 0:19:38.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm so sorry. That is incredible because again, like, don't

0:19:38.480 --> 0:19:40.800
<v Speaker 2>mess with my kids, and yeah.

0:19:40.680 --> 0:19:48.040
<v Speaker 1>Essentially what has been said is inaccurate and I I

0:19:48.080 --> 0:19:51.960
<v Speaker 1>haven't been able to say anything about it for the

0:19:52.040 --> 0:19:59.280
<v Speaker 1>protection of my children. To answer your question, absolutely, that's

0:19:59.320 --> 0:20:06.959
<v Speaker 1>what happened, and it's horrifying. It's horrifying. I just I

0:20:07.119 --> 0:20:14.160
<v Speaker 1>simply don't know how this is possible. And I don't

0:20:14.160 --> 0:20:16.000
<v Speaker 1>want to live my life in shock. I want to

0:20:16.040 --> 0:20:20.720
<v Speaker 1>find a solution, but it is. It hurts my heart,

0:20:21.080 --> 0:20:24.560
<v Speaker 1>you know, to say the least. And I'm also extremely

0:20:25.160 --> 0:20:31.719
<v Speaker 1>extremely grateful for my friends and for the people and

0:20:31.760 --> 0:20:33.960
<v Speaker 1>the women and the men that are around me that

0:20:34.000 --> 0:20:37.879
<v Speaker 1>are so solid, and I'm so grateful for the strength

0:20:37.920 --> 0:20:41.040
<v Speaker 1>inside of my own self, you know, because I have

0:20:41.080 --> 0:20:43.720
<v Speaker 1>to look at it from a different perspective to not

0:20:43.880 --> 0:20:46.320
<v Speaker 1>get caught up like people have you read. I don't

0:20:46.320 --> 0:20:51.040
<v Speaker 1>read anything. I don't read any news, any articles. Why

0:20:51.119 --> 0:20:56.119
<v Speaker 1>because that that that energy, and it's just what they want.

0:20:56.400 --> 0:21:00.320
<v Speaker 1>It's what they want. They want like they want you

0:21:00.359 --> 0:21:02.800
<v Speaker 1>to feel bad. They want to be consumed.

0:21:15.880 --> 0:21:17.920
<v Speaker 2>My husband, my now husband, always says, you know, and

0:21:18.320 --> 0:21:20.800
<v Speaker 2>articles will come out that are not nice or that

0:21:20.840 --> 0:21:24.400
<v Speaker 2>are not true. It will affect me in a moment.

0:21:24.480 --> 0:21:26.959
<v Speaker 2>And then he's like, what's within the four walls? You know,

0:21:27.040 --> 0:21:29.399
<v Speaker 2>what is in within the four walls? That is what

0:21:29.440 --> 0:21:32.480
<v Speaker 2>the truth is, That is what you need those and

0:21:32.520 --> 0:21:36.240
<v Speaker 2>those are the only people that you need to worry about.

0:21:37.000 --> 0:21:39.720
<v Speaker 2>Is within what's within the four walls your kids, your

0:21:39.800 --> 0:21:42.439
<v Speaker 2>closest friends, everything else they don't know.

0:21:42.640 --> 0:21:45.560
<v Speaker 1>Oh, your husband thinking, that's really that's a really good perspective.

0:21:45.600 --> 0:21:48.879
<v Speaker 1>It's true and I and I know that, and I

0:21:48.920 --> 0:21:51.800
<v Speaker 1>trust that. That's why it's like the rest is just noise.

0:21:51.880 --> 0:21:52.600
<v Speaker 1>It's all noise.

0:21:53.280 --> 0:21:55.879
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you know, And what what your hope is again

0:21:55.960 --> 0:21:58.800
<v Speaker 2>is that which what I love is you're wanting to

0:21:58.880 --> 0:22:01.760
<v Speaker 2>now make a difference with what you've gone through and

0:22:01.960 --> 0:22:04.400
<v Speaker 2>also using it within your work. So I think that's

0:22:04.720 --> 0:22:08.600
<v Speaker 2>there's no' that's the happy ending with it all, you know,

0:22:08.680 --> 0:22:10.600
<v Speaker 2>that's the hope with it all, right, you know is

0:22:11.119 --> 0:22:12.480
<v Speaker 2>it's a terrible situation.

0:22:13.160 --> 0:22:15.439
<v Speaker 1>That's always been the case. And I think the closer

0:22:15.440 --> 0:22:17.320
<v Speaker 1>we get to our truth, the closer we get to

0:22:20.480 --> 0:22:23.719
<v Speaker 1>really leading with love, loving, I should say I'm being

0:22:23.760 --> 0:22:26.560
<v Speaker 1>of service. The closer and closer we get to the

0:22:26.880 --> 0:22:30.240
<v Speaker 1>actualization of it, the more and more you know, negativity.

0:22:30.240 --> 0:22:33.000
<v Speaker 1>You can try and push back on it, but that's okay.

0:22:33.080 --> 0:22:35.560
<v Speaker 1>It's just part of our process, is part of our learning.

0:22:36.400 --> 0:22:39.159
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I think a lot of people, you know,

0:22:39.200 --> 0:22:40.919
<v Speaker 2>because we don't have a lot degrees, we don't know

0:22:41.000 --> 0:22:42.840
<v Speaker 2>people that might not have been divorced. There are so

0:22:42.880 --> 0:22:45.440
<v Speaker 2>many things that you can file that are actually not true,

0:22:45.840 --> 0:22:48.240
<v Speaker 2>oh and hurt other people. And I don't think people

0:22:48.359 --> 0:22:50.080
<v Speaker 2>understand that. I think you can just go oh, like

0:22:50.160 --> 0:22:55.480
<v Speaker 2>I remember one time when my ex husband he had

0:22:55.480 --> 0:22:57.639
<v Speaker 2>filed for divorce first because he knew that I was

0:22:57.680 --> 0:22:59.520
<v Speaker 2>about to and so he filed first because there's always

0:22:59.520 --> 0:23:01.800
<v Speaker 2>something with filing first or whatever, and he had put something.

0:23:01.640 --> 0:23:05.320
<v Speaker 1>That was later I was confused about that part that Yeah, separational,

0:23:05.359 --> 0:23:06.040
<v Speaker 1>that stuff.

0:23:06.320 --> 0:23:08.560
<v Speaker 2>And that and that one went away and then until

0:23:08.600 --> 0:23:10.399
<v Speaker 2>I filed years later, but he had put something in

0:23:10.400 --> 0:23:13.359
<v Speaker 2>that original filing where I was like, wait, that's not true.

0:23:14.040 --> 0:23:16.760
<v Speaker 2>And there was this moment that I and I mean

0:23:16.840 --> 0:23:18.960
<v Speaker 2>I did. The lawyer was like, well that he can,

0:23:19.000 --> 0:23:20.360
<v Speaker 2>he can put that in. I was like, but that's

0:23:20.359 --> 0:23:22.080
<v Speaker 2>not true. How could he put it in when it's

0:23:22.080 --> 0:23:22.520
<v Speaker 2>not true?

0:23:22.760 --> 0:23:22.960
<v Speaker 1>You know?

0:23:23.040 --> 0:23:25.040
<v Speaker 2>And so I don't think people understand that. And obviously

0:23:25.080 --> 0:23:26.760
<v Speaker 2>all that stuff got thrown away, but I'll never forget

0:23:26.760 --> 0:23:31.240
<v Speaker 2>that moment because I'm like, wow, it's that's how along

0:23:31.280 --> 0:23:33.040
<v Speaker 2>with the system is is that's messed up?

0:23:33.240 --> 0:23:37.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm so sorry. I knew that feeling. I sincerely

0:23:38.960 --> 0:23:43.840
<v Speaker 1>I understand what you're saying, because that's it's it's it's

0:23:43.920 --> 0:23:49.680
<v Speaker 1>it's really ineffable to see something that like, as you're

0:23:49.960 --> 0:23:53.800
<v Speaker 1>it's not even a description, that's literally what happens. Yeah,

0:23:53.840 --> 0:23:55.600
<v Speaker 1>and like, oh, well that's just the law. It's like

0:23:55.640 --> 0:23:58.119
<v Speaker 1>how is that wait? Wait, how is that law?

0:23:58.400 --> 0:23:58.480
<v Speaker 2>Like?

0:23:58.520 --> 0:24:00.680
<v Speaker 1>And how it's like how are you supposed to become

0:24:01.040 --> 0:24:05.399
<v Speaker 1>a paralegal or a lawyer? And you know, as like

0:24:05.560 --> 0:24:07.280
<v Speaker 1>you're an intelligent woman. I was like, if one more

0:24:07.320 --> 0:24:09.800
<v Speaker 1>person tells me, I'm I know, I'm an intelligent woman,

0:24:10.200 --> 0:24:11.000
<v Speaker 1>but I'm not.

0:24:12.160 --> 0:24:13.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm not.

0:24:13.560 --> 0:24:15.560
<v Speaker 1>I didn't go I didn't take the bar. Like that

0:24:15.680 --> 0:24:17.600
<v Speaker 1>wasn't like my my dream, you know what I mean?

0:24:17.760 --> 0:24:20.800
<v Speaker 1>I don't like that's not I need to put my

0:24:20.880 --> 0:24:26.000
<v Speaker 1>lovey into something else. And that's like, it's stunning, it's stunning. Yeah,

0:24:26.200 --> 0:24:29.200
<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of a lot of mental work. And again,

0:24:29.280 --> 0:24:33.560
<v Speaker 1>everything you know is an exercise and ultimately, you know,

0:24:34.720 --> 0:24:39.679
<v Speaker 1>it's everything is an opportunity to then be of service

0:24:39.720 --> 0:24:42.439
<v Speaker 1>to other people. Right of what what we've gone through

0:24:42.480 --> 0:24:45.119
<v Speaker 1>and what we've experienced in our knowledge and what we've learned.

0:24:47.080 --> 0:24:49.800
<v Speaker 1>There's God, there's a reason for it, you know, there's

0:24:49.880 --> 0:24:51.480
<v Speaker 1>there has to be a reason for it.

0:24:51.960 --> 0:24:54.920
<v Speaker 2>So you have loved Danielle out. What is after that?

0:24:55.280 --> 0:24:57.520
<v Speaker 2>Do you have something that you're filming or directing? Posts this?

0:24:58.000 --> 0:25:01.800
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I I did four films this year that I'm

0:25:01.880 --> 0:25:08.000
<v Speaker 1>very excited about girl, and I'm preparing to direct my

0:25:08.040 --> 0:25:11.560
<v Speaker 1>first feature that I'm also very excited about. I haven't

0:25:11.600 --> 0:25:12.760
<v Speaker 1>announced that one yet.

0:25:13.080 --> 0:25:14.400
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Well, I'm just having.

0:25:14.200 --> 0:25:15.760
<v Speaker 1>The best time. I'm just having the best time in

0:25:15.880 --> 0:25:22.680
<v Speaker 1>terms of like writing and filmmaking and producing and just

0:25:22.920 --> 0:25:26.959
<v Speaker 1>seeing the beauty of so many artists and what it

0:25:27.040 --> 0:25:30.720
<v Speaker 1>is that they do, and getting to spend every day,

0:25:31.600 --> 0:25:34.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, focusing not only on my children and my family,

0:25:34.960 --> 0:25:38.840
<v Speaker 1>but also like bringing the like these children of the artists,

0:25:39.000 --> 0:25:40.400
<v Speaker 1>like what they want to make and what they want

0:25:40.440 --> 0:25:43.119
<v Speaker 1>to say to life. It's so so beautiful.

0:25:43.800 --> 0:25:47.399
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I agree with you. What is it a little

0:25:47.400 --> 0:25:51.720
<v Speaker 2>fast around here? What's your favorite thing that you've been in? Oh,

0:25:52.280 --> 0:25:59.560
<v Speaker 2>I'll start Pearl Harbor. So good, girl, so good. When

0:25:59.600 --> 0:26:03.639
<v Speaker 2>you die, I was like, like, it's so good.

0:26:04.200 --> 0:26:07.560
<v Speaker 1>Thank you. That's so fun because I didn't understand the

0:26:07.640 --> 0:26:13.280
<v Speaker 1>hierarchy of things. I didn't know. I didn't know. I

0:26:13.320 --> 0:26:17.840
<v Speaker 1>didn't I had no idea. I didn't know. And it

0:26:17.920 --> 0:26:19.920
<v Speaker 1>was divine. It was amazing.

0:26:20.920 --> 0:26:23.040
<v Speaker 3>It was really like and they're like this is the

0:26:23.080 --> 0:26:25.840
<v Speaker 3>biggest like it was the biggest budget movie. D da

0:26:25.880 --> 0:26:28.119
<v Speaker 3>da dah blah blah blah, and and I had and

0:26:28.160 --> 0:26:31.199
<v Speaker 3>I was just like ya da da, Like I was.

0:26:31.359 --> 0:26:33.800
<v Speaker 1>I was so happy. All I wanted to do is

0:26:33.840 --> 0:26:34.600
<v Speaker 1>do the best job.

0:26:35.320 --> 0:26:38.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. And isn't Kate beck and Sale just so beautiful too,

0:26:38.880 --> 0:26:41.000
<v Speaker 2>Like she's just like I did a movie with her.

0:26:41.000 --> 0:26:42.560
<v Speaker 2>I just remember, I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm staring. You're

0:26:42.640 --> 0:26:45.960
<v Speaker 2>just so pretty. She's so pretty, and she's so nice.

0:26:47.680 --> 0:26:49.160
<v Speaker 2>You're so sweet.

0:26:49.119 --> 0:26:53.800
<v Speaker 1>She's so hilarious, she's so funny, she's so poised.

0:26:54.480 --> 0:26:57.959
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, say Kate, Hi, Kate, She's yeah. I mean I

0:26:57.960 --> 0:27:00.280
<v Speaker 2>did the best with her and Adam Sandler, and I

0:27:00.320 --> 0:27:03.359
<v Speaker 2>just remember she was out there just like smoking a cigarette,

0:27:03.359 --> 0:27:05.119
<v Speaker 2>but she was like so fun and nice and I

0:27:05.160 --> 0:27:07.040
<v Speaker 2>was like, oh my god, you're beautiful and your cape

0:27:07.040 --> 0:27:08.240
<v Speaker 2>back and sale and I.

0:27:07.920 --> 0:27:11.240
<v Speaker 1>I know, right, she's so brilliant, and it's it's so

0:27:11.359 --> 0:27:14.600
<v Speaker 1>nice to be around people that like that are so cool,

0:27:14.640 --> 0:27:17.680
<v Speaker 1>like that are so cool. And then but you don't

0:27:17.680 --> 0:27:19.680
<v Speaker 1>have to be afraid of them, right, you know what

0:27:19.720 --> 0:27:21.639
<v Speaker 1>I mean. Like she's so warm and so loving and

0:27:21.680 --> 0:27:26.679
<v Speaker 1>such a great mom. She's so funny, the brilliant, brilliant actor.

0:27:26.920 --> 0:27:28.720
<v Speaker 2>Okay, your favorite, because that was mine.

0:27:28.960 --> 0:27:31.040
<v Speaker 1>Oh you know what, I really loved a lot was

0:27:31.119 --> 0:27:31.920
<v Speaker 1>hard on Tixie.

0:27:32.040 --> 0:27:33.040
<v Speaker 2>That was a sweet show.

0:27:33.800 --> 0:27:36.520
<v Speaker 1>I think I can. I think I can go there

0:27:36.640 --> 0:27:40.160
<v Speaker 1>because it's different than than filmmaking, like a film. Yeah,

0:27:40.240 --> 0:27:45.000
<v Speaker 1>it's still filmmaking you, but it's your You're in it.

0:27:45.040 --> 0:27:49.240
<v Speaker 1>For so long, so that has a very special place.

0:27:49.560 --> 0:27:52.440
<v Speaker 1>It's really interesting. Now I'm racking my brain and seat,

0:27:52.480 --> 0:27:53.520
<v Speaker 1>what was my favorite film?

0:27:55.000 --> 0:27:57.479
<v Speaker 2>Well, you know what, you're about to make it?

0:27:57.760 --> 0:27:58.119
<v Speaker 1>Thank you?

0:27:59.200 --> 0:28:03.040
<v Speaker 2>Thank you yep, percept if you're about to make it,

0:28:03.080 --> 0:28:07.639
<v Speaker 2>so that you that's oh yes, let's do it. Well, Jamie,

0:28:07.680 --> 0:28:11.000
<v Speaker 2>thank you for coming on. Thank you for vulnerably sharing

0:28:11.119 --> 0:28:15.119
<v Speaker 2>things that you've gone through and also talking about things

0:28:15.119 --> 0:28:17.760
<v Speaker 2>that most women don't talk about because they're too afraid

0:28:17.800 --> 0:28:19.359
<v Speaker 2>to talk about. And I know it's just the beginning,

0:28:19.400 --> 0:28:21.440
<v Speaker 2>and I'm excited to see where you go with it

0:28:21.520 --> 0:28:26.879
<v Speaker 2>because the more you stand up, others can feel like

0:28:26.920 --> 0:28:27.439
<v Speaker 2>they can too.

0:28:27.760 --> 0:28:28.840
<v Speaker 1>So thank you.

0:28:29.400 --> 0:28:32.960
<v Speaker 2>Keep going, you too, all right, Thanks Jamie, appreciate it.

0:28:33.000 --> 0:28:37.360
<v Speaker 2>Everyone go see Love Danielle. She plays a sister and

0:28:37.400 --> 0:28:40.120
<v Speaker 2>it's such a beautiful film, so go check it out.

0:28:40.400 --> 0:28:42.200
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, Jamie, Thank you so much.